Think

"People walking around everyday, playing games, taking scores

Trying to make other people lose their minds. Well be careful, you're gonna lose yours.
Yeah, think (think) think about what you're trying to do to me
Yeah, think (think, think), let your mind go, let yourself be free
You need me (need me) and I need you (don't you know)
Without each other there ain't nothing we can do. Oh freedom" Think by Aretha Franklin

Monday morning I got up and went to work. My day was pretty uneventful. Kendal asked me when I was on the way to my lunch how I imposed all of us dancing on the game play videos Trevor uploaded and posted on Facebook. I explained what I could and told him how Trevor used a green screen, but any more than that, I would have to ask Trevor. We chatted a little more about our favorite XBox games before Q interrupted us, telling Kendal that Heather was looking for him.

I left and went to lunch alone. Jordan called off the next two days to finish moving and unpack. On my lunch, I texted her to see how she was doing. She responded saying she was almost done and in desperate need of a happy hour. I told her as soon as I got off work, the first round was on me. After work, we met up and had a couple of drinks and nachos at Chuy's before she had to leave to meet Derek at their place.

I went home to an empty apartment. If Sammy came home, she made sure to do it while I was at work. I sighed as I made my way to the laundry room. I normally would call and try to get her to talk to me, but I didn't. She couldn't avoid me forever. I was going to hold my ground and wait for her to reach out to me or come home.

Rocky texted me to see if I wanted to go shopping with her for dresses for Ethan's dinner on Saturday. It was being held at a country club and I figured a cute skirt and blouse would be appropriate. If Rocky thought she needed a new dress, I probably should rethink that strategy. I agreed, telling her I would text Amber to see if she could join us. I did just that then called Rachel. I was surprised when Forrest answered the phone.

"Hey stranger." He said, cheerfully.

"Hey Forrest. Where is Rachel?" I asked, as I pulled the clothes out the dryer that I had put in before I went to work.

"She's right here. We're looking at wedding venues."

"Cool. Does she have a minute? I need her advice." I asked.

"Uh, I'm right here. What guy is giving you trouble?"

"None. I need her fashion expertise." I responded, carrying my basket of clothes into the living room.

Out of all of my friends, I loved her fashion the best. She always dressed appropriate and cute, effortlessly. She always looked polished but comfortable. I had the comfort down, but I needed a little help with polishing.

"I'll put you on speaker." Forrest responded.

"No. It's girl talk. Just give her the phone." I told him, beginning to fold my clothes.

"Fine. She tells me everything anyway." He taunted.

"That's what you think." I muttered, playfully.

"Hey! I heard that!" He exclaimed.

"I just said thanks." I lied, smiling.

"What did Forrest hear?" Rachel asked me.

"Me not needing his advice." I laughed.

Rachel laughed. "What's up?"

I explained to her Ethan's promotion and the subsequent dinner. I told her I wasn't sure what would be appropriate and how I didn't want to look too dressed up, considering Jake would be there too. I even mentioned it would be my first time seeing Ethan's parents since the 4th of July debacle when I cursed and stormed out.

"Really Lily? At his parent's house? Smooth." Forrest commented,

"Really Forrest? I said no speaker phone!" I responded.

"Forrest!" Rachel scolded him as he laughed. I heard the background noise decrease.

"It's off speaker phone now. Is it this weekend?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry Lily. I would love to go shopping with you, but I'm swamped this week. I have lunch meetings looking at wedding venues by myself starting tomorrow so I'll be working late all week." Rachel said, sighing.

"That's fine. I actually just wanted to pick your brain. I really don't wanna do a cocktail dress. I was thinking a maxi but I'm not sure if it's dressy enough." I rambled.

"It can be. No prints, stick to a solid, darker color and a high quality fabric. Then do nice jewelry or a blazer if you wanna dress it up some more."

"Will do." I smiled. "Do you want some company tomorrow? I'm off."

"It's ok. You don't have to. I'm basically just ruling places out." Rachel stated.

"Completely up to you. My brother just got engaged so I officially have the wedding bug. I would like to if you don't mind me tagging along."

"Then I would love that. I'll text you the address." She replied.

"Ok. See you tomorrow." I told her, getting off the phone. I saw that Amber texted me back the affirmative about shopping Thursday when she picked the kids up from school. I texted Rocky the time before I texted Trevor.

Me: Hey. I had a request for a tutorial on how you did the dance videos.

He texted me back before I finished folding the next item of clothing.

Trevor: Not a problem. I'll put it together tonight.

Me: Use "Only You" since you didn't post that video.

Trevor: I was still working on it. Editing out your mistakes

Me: lol my mistake in partner? Don't edit yourself out!!!

Trevor: Don't lie. You know you were watching my moves.

Me: Yeah, I thought you were having a seizure...

Trevor: Ha ha

I smiled and put the phone away before turning on the tv and returning to laundry.



Tuesday morning, as soon as I got up, I pulled on jogging pants and a hoodie and made my way downstairs to start dinner. I was meeting Rachel around 12:30pm at a chapel and garden in Fort Worth and Ethan, EJ and Corey at 4 for drum lessons.

I found a recipe for chicken enchilada soup in a crock pot the night before. I dumped beans, Rotel, corn, onion, chicken broth, milk, enchilada sauce and chicken breasts into the crock pot, set it on low, and left to go for a run.

 I needed to get a work out in and dinner cooking so I wouldn't be tempted to eat out in a rush to get everything done. I've been doing way too much of it lately. Circuit training at home wasn't enough to work off my calorie intake recently. I blamed Trevor and his desserts and red wine. I hoped his metabolism slowed down so he could feel my pain.

I quickly made my way back inside when I felt a blast of cold air. It was only in the 50s, but I didn't workout in the cold. Sweat plus cold air was not a combination I was equipped for. I took a deep breath, closed my door and locked it. I went to my car and drove to Jake's gym. I hadn't thought about it since we broke up. Mostly because I didn't want to think about Jake at all back then, and a little because I felt like a dumbass. I bought a year long membership at the gym of a guy I was barely dating. How lame was that?

I drove, confident that Jake was at work and wouldn't be there. I put in my workout before leaving to go home, shower and have a brunch of egg, ham and cheese sandwich before I left to meet Rachel.

I found the place with no problems. It was a pretty, quaint little chapel, not too far from downtown Fort Worth, but far enough to be nestled in a private, serene garden. The chapel outside was Tudor style, featuring cast stone, stained glasses windows and a bell tower.

Rachel was already inside, waiting for her meeting. I gave her a hug before sitting down next to her.

When Rachel looked at her phone, I asked her if they were late.

"No. We're early. I was hoping they could fit us in." She sighed.

I got up and went to the receptionist.

"Hi. We have an appointment at 1. Is there any way we can get started right now? I know we're early, but we're crunched from time." I explained to her.

"Our wedding coordinator is in a meeting. She will be out soon."

"Ok. Well, I think we have an idea of everything." I bluffed. "Thanks for your time." I said, turning away.

"Wait..." she called back to me. "Why don't I take you to look at the chapel and then see if Courtney can finish early?"

I looked at Rachel. She nodded.

"Ok." I answered. She led us to the chapel and left us to retrieve Courtney.

"Thanks for that. I'm sooo trying not to be a bridezilla and act like my time is more important than others." Rachel smiled.

I grinned at her. "I have no problem playing that role."

And that's exactly what I did. When Courtney made her way out, I pretended to be the bride to be. I drilled her about the ceremony as far as the outdoor versus inside options. I questioned whether the whole space could be rented or just hourly and what would happen in the case of bad weather. Then we discussed the capacity, vendor and alcohol requirements. When I couldn't think of any other questions, I looked at Rachel to see if she had any. She asked about lighting and sound. Afterwards, Courtney started selling the space.

"I know what I want." I cut her off. I repeated the speech Trevor said about flower meanings and the colors, pretending that was what I wanted.

"I just need to speak to my fiancé, but we will be in touch. Thank you for your time." I thanked her, sincerely. She nodded and we left with a venue package.

"That was crazy." Rachel declared as we walked to our cars.

"Crazy is my specialty. Along with inconsistency, selfishness and immaturity. When you need those, I'm your girl." I grinned at her.

She just laughed at me. "Wait. I have something for you." She said when we got to her car. She opened the passenger door and reached into her glove department. She groaned.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I took it out of my car. I was afraid to leave it in the parking garage. Can you come to my office really quick? I want you to have it when you go shopping."

I looked at my phone. I had enough time.

"My building has a cafeteria. I'll treat you to lunch." Rachel informed me.

"Sold."

I followed her to her office. It was in a high rise that rented out space. Her parents started the accounting firm together. Both were retired now. We went into her office and she went into her desk. She pulled out a black jewelry box. She opened it to reveal a beautiful sapphire and silver necklace, bracelet and earring set.

"If you find something with blue, this will dress it up." She said, handing me the box.

"I can't borrow this. I lose costume jewelry." I admitted to her.

"Yes you can. In fact, borrow it until after my wedding."

As we walked to the cafeteria, she explained how Forrest's grandma gave her a sapphire broach when they announced their engagement. Rachel loved it and decided it would be her something blue. Her mother bought her the jewelry set 2 weeks later.

"She didn't even care about my jewelry until his grandmother gave it to me. She was completely against the marriage." Rachel said, frustratingly.

"Why? They don't like Forrest?" I said, surprised as we stood at the cafe line.

"She doesn't have anything against him, he's just 'not for me'" Rachel explained. "When she saw the wedding was happening, with or without her, then she wanted to control everything. It's maddening."

We stepped up and ordered deli wraps. While we waited for our food, I turned to her.

"It's your wedding, career and life. Why not just tell her to step off?" I asked.

"I wish it was that easy." She said, turning away from me. Her face told me not to press it. We waited for our food in silence.

She sighed as 3 men headed our way. When they approached, she put on a beauty pageant smile.

"Thomas, Caleb, Gabriel, how's everything going?" She asked, chirpily. I gave them a polite smile. Only one of the guys returned it, looking devastatingly handsome as he did. Tan, dark hair, blue eyes was already a dangerous combination. His smile only added to it.

They talked about a client and tax season right around the corner while I willed the food to hurry up. When it was ready, I grabbed my bag and hugged Rachel goodbye.

"Bye Kitana." Said the guy that returned my smile. I narrowed my eyes at him and wondered why he would call me that and why he looked vaguely familiar...

I stopped worrying about it as I made my way to my car and hurried home, scarfing down my food on the way.

When I came home, I was greeted by the smell of tortilla soup and the sound of Sammy and Corey. They were snuggled up on the couch, eating soup. Even more shocking was Sammy was wearing the green dress she knew Jake bought for me.

"Hey Lily." Corey said, as Sammy gave me a sweet smile.

"Hey..." I said, plainly, staring at her.

"We've been waiting for you. I told Corey you wanted to talk to him." Sammy said, putting down her bowl.

"It can wait." I muttered, going upstairs to put the jewelry away. I came back downstairs and ignored them. Corey gave me a weird look, but before he could ask anything, there was a knock on the door

I greeted Ethan and EJ and they started the lesson with Corey. Sammy was fawning over Corey and it made me sick. When I noticed Ethan watching me watch Sammy, I got up and went into the kitchen. As I made myself a bowl of soup, Ethan joined me in the kitchen.

"How was your day?" He asked.

"Weird." I said, simply, sprinkling cheese, sour cream and tortilla chips in the bowl. I grabbed another bowl to make one for him. "How bout you?"

"Good. Thanks Lily." He said, as we took our bowls into the dining room.

"No problem." I said. We sat down and ate in silence. I picked at my soup. I wasn't even hungry...

"So what's wrong?" He asked me.

"Nothing." I said, eating.

"Ok." Ethan said. I looked at him.

"That's it?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes. I respect that you don't wanna talk about it."

"Or you don't really care." I challenged.

"Maybe not," He replied, before eating a bite of food." but I wouldn't have asked if I didn't care a little bit."

I thought about how much I should tell him.

"What would you do if you had a friend doing something you were completely against?" I asked.

"That's too vague." Ethan answered.

"It's more morally wrong than anything."

"Ok...when did you become judgemental?" Ethan asked me, curiously.

"I'm not. I wouldn't even know if she wasn't telling lies to cover up what she's doing."

"How do you know then?" Ethan asked.

"I might have spied on her." I admitted.

His eyes widened, but he didn't comment on that.

"Is it hurting anyone?"

"Just herself right now. It could hurt another friend of mine. I should tell that person, right?"

"I think the only thing you can do is let her know how you feel. The rest is up to her." Ethan answered.

"That's not fair to the other person. What if someone knew Megan was cheating, wouldn't you want to know?" I questioned him.

"Part of me already knew. You just shouldn't put yourself in the middle of other people's relationship. It never ends well." Ethan stated.

"I think that's bullshit. If someone was sneaking around making stupid decisions, you would intervene."

He smirked at me.

"Intervening is spying and exposing her?"

"She gives me no other choice." I said, frustrated.

"I remember when you were sneaking around with me. How would you feel if someone was spying on and exposed you to your brother?" Ethan asked me.

"Point taken." I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"It sounds old school, but treat her how you would want to be treated. If she's a good person, she will come around. If not, maybe you need to re-evaluate that friendship." Ethan finished.

I nodded. We finished eating and joined them back in the den. Sammy was playing on her phone as Corey went over music notes with EJ.

"And what's this one?" Corey asked, pointing to the music.

"A quarter note." EJ answered.

"Awesome. We're done for today." Corey hi-fived him.

"Do you want some soup EJ?" I asked him.
He made a face.

"It's really good." Corey smiled. "Go try some."

"Ok." EJ answered.

"Are y'all leaving?" I asked Corey and Sammy as he pulled on his jacket.

"Yeah. We're gonna catch a movie. Thanks for the soup though. It was really good." Corey smiled.

"You're welcome." I smiled.

"Ready?" Sammy asked Corey, impatiently.

"Yeah. Bye." Corey said waving as he left.

I grabbed Sammy's arm. "Hey. I do wanna talk to you, I'm sorry-"

She narrowed her eyes. "Why? You hooked up with Trevor?"

"No. I'm sorry for the way I talked to you on Sunday. When you have the time I wanna talk to you, that's all. No more attacking." I promised.

She just gave me a little nod, before turning on her heel and leaving.

When I joined Ethan and EJ in the dining room, Ethan smiled at me.

"Feel better?" He asked.

"Whatever." I smiled.