"There's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have
ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?
Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am
Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?" Dark
Side by Kelly Clarkson
I hopped up quickly from the bed and
followed Sammy out of my room and into her room.
"We do need to talk." I
said to her as she went to her closet.
She gave me a dirty look. "How
long have you been fucking Trevor?"
"I haven't, he slept in bed
like we always have. How long have you and Ron been fucking?" I returned.
"Bullshit! I never agreed to
not hook up with him like you agreed with Trevor." She accused me.
"Don't turn this back on me.
This is about you. I thought we moved in together so you can get your life
together. Not just a place you stay when you’re not bartending or fucking your
boss!" I informed her.
"Lily! Stop. What's wrong with
you?" Trevor said, as he appeared in the doorway, staring at me in
disbelief.
"No Lily. Keep going. Trevor
needs to see the real you. Then maybe he will stop following you around like a
fucking love sick puppy. You are both so pathetic; you're actually perfect for
each other." She said, glaring at both of us.
"I really don't see how a girl
sleeping with her boss for money can call anyone pathetic. Wouldn't that make
you a pathetic whore?" I spat at her.
"I've fucked for less. We both
know that." She said to me, cutting her eyes at Trevor. "I'd rather
be a paid whore than a slut." She then gave Trevor a seductive smile.
Trevor looked at her, sadly.
"You both need to stop before
you say something you don't mean." Trevor stated firmly.
"I meant every word. It's the
truth. You should listen up. You're just a rebound. She'll be on to the next
one 'cause she knows you'll always be around for her backup plan. Think about
that the next time you 'sleep' in her bed“ Sammy said to Trevor.
I laughed, humorlessly. "You
wouldn't know the truth if it slapped you in the face. You've been lying to
everyone for at least a month, sneaking around like a little fucking kid-"
Lily!-" Trevor started.
"I'm a kid? You're the most
immature bitch I know. No wonder Jake controlled you-"
"Sammy-" Trevor
interrupted.
I cut them both off after that
remark. "Don't even bring him up. He told me he ended things with you
because of how devious you were and how much you lied. I didn't listen to him
but I should have!"
"Of course he would talk shit
about me! He was trying to fuck you! Didn't take him long, did it?" Sammy
yelled at me.
"Fuck you Sammy! Everyone else
has." I yelled back at her.
"I'm leaving." Trevor said
over us, before turning around and leaving the room.
Sammy and I stared at each other for
a moment before I left to follow Trevor. He was heading out the door.
"Trevor, wait!" I called
to him. He looked up at me and paused.
"I'm sorry you had to hear
that." I apologized.
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing
to." He said, sharply.
"You're kidding?!?" I
said, shocked. "Did you not hear what she said?"
"After you stalked, followed
and attacked her, of course she's gonna react like that." Trevor told me.
"And of course you're gonna
react like this. I didn't fuck and dump her, so I don't feel any guilt about
telling her the truth." I replied.
Trevor just shook his head and
opened the door.
"Nothing to say? Be happy you
got it in before she started charging." I exclaimed, frustrated at his
lack of response.
"You can continue to rip Sammy
or me apart. I'm not gonna stick around to hear it." He said, before he
stormed out.
I closed the door after him and took
a deep breath.
"I agree with Trevor. Have fun
by yourself." Sammy smirked at me as she dragged a bag to the door.
I gave her a fake smile, hiding my
hurt at those words.
"I will, if you see Corey, tell
him I'll talk to him later."
She blanched for a moment, before
her expression hardened at me. "You call him yourself. I know you have his
number. You love my leftovers, don't you?" She challenged me.
I grinned, loving that for a moment,
I cracked her armor. "Oh, for what I want to talk to him about, I'd much
rather talk in person and we both know it's the other way around: Your
leftovers love me."
She had nothing to say to that. She
just stalked passed me.
I closed and locked the door again.
I pushed away my guilty feelings by focusing on Sammy. I knew what she was
doing was stupid and wrong. She had to feel the same or she wouldn't have been
hiding it. I couldn't let her deflect her guilt on me. I couldn't feel bad
about finally giving her a taste of her own medicine.
I knew I got the last word, so
technically, I won the fight. I didn't feel like a winner, especially after
seeing Trevor's face. When we both cooled down, I planned to have a real
conversation with Sammy to air out our issues. For now, I settled on working
off some of my emotions with circuit training while watching football.
----------------
It was halftime of the Niners
beating the New Orleans Saints when I finished my routine of lunges, push-ups,
crunches, planks, squats and jumping jacks. I went upstairs to change clothes
and grab my phone. I was disappointed when I had no missed calls. Afterwards, I
went into the kitchen to grab some water and lunch. While rummaging through my
kitchen, I gave my brother a call.
"Hello?" He answered,
frustratingly neutral.
"Hey! How'd it go?" I
asked him, impatiently.
"Good. The Niners are looking
great." He replied.
"The proposal, not stupid
football!" I fussed at him. "What happened?!?!"
"We're engaged!!!" I heard
Jenna exclaimed as Cam laughed. "Come see my ring!"
"I have, but I wanna see it on
your finger! Be right there!" I smiled, before closing the refrigerator. I
grabbed my water bottle and a package of granola that I bought for Bianca's
visit. I didn't like it dry, but I figured it would hold me over until I got
real food.
On the drive over, I munched on the
cereal and drank the water. The unpleasantness of the morning faded away as I
thought about my brother's engagement. I was so happy for them!
I made it to his apartment in record
time. I knocked excitedly on the door. Jenna opened the door, grinning ear to
ear.
"Please come in." She
said, formally, gesturing me in, exaggerating with her left hand, showing off
the beautiful ring.
"Oh my God, it looks so much
better on your finger!" I exclaimed, giving her a hug. "Congratulations!!!"
"Thank you! I plan to be one of
those obnoxious girls that waves her ring in everyone's face." Jenna
laughed, hugging me tight.
I laughed too before following her
into the living room. My brother was on the couch, watching the game. It was a
little surreal seeing all the flowers surrounding him as he causally watched
the game. It was his normal behavior but he was getting married and everything
would change. He would be a husband and have a wife and a family completely
independent of me. It was a scary thought but the smile he gave me pushed my
fears away. I would get over myself if it meant him being so happy.
"Way to go bro!!!" I
congratulated at him, sitting beside and throwing my arms around him.
"Thanks sis." He said.
Jenna came and sat on the other side of my brother.
"So, tell me
everything!!!" I exclaimed, smiling.
"Let's wait. Trevor is on his
way." Cam answered.
I miraculously kept the smile on my
face.
"Sure, let's wait for Trevor,
not for overtime to be over." Jenna teased Cam, motioning towards the game
on TV.
"Hey, he helped set it up as
well. You don't need to tell the story twice." Cam said.
"I'm gonna tell it a million
times." Jenna smiled leaning over to give him a kiss.
I smiled at them.
Trevor showed up right when the
49ers recovered a fumbled in overtime. He walked in while Phil Dawson, our
kicker, lined up to kick a field goal for the win. I pretended like I was
engrossed in the game but watched Trevor from the corner of my eye. My brother
and I both cheered excitedly when he made it for the win.
"Best weekend ever!!!" Cam
proclaimed, reaching out to slap hands with Trevor.
"The game or the engagement?”
Trevor smiled at him. He changed into dark denim jeans and a vintage blue
Wonder Woman shirt. It made his eyes stand out even more.
"Both." Cam said as I gave
Trevor a little smile. It felt insincere to me. He returned it anyway.
"So did you say yes to the ring
and the engagement or Cam?" Trevor asked Jenna.
She pretended to think about it.
"Both."
We laughed as Trevor settled on the
couch next to me.
I focused on Cam and Jenna as they
told their engagement story and not on the tension between Trevor and me. Jenna
had no idea what Cam had planned when he took her to her favorite Italian
restaurant. She was shocked when she saw all the flowers, candles and music
when she got home. She was exploring the room as Cam set out the strawberries
and champagne from the refrigerator. She still didn't know what was going on
when he sat her down on the couch. It hit her when he got down on one knee.
"He just stared at me, with the
box. I knew what he was going to do, but he was just silent. I was thinking to
myself 'just ask so I can say yes!'" Jenna gushed.
Cam actually blushed while Trevor
laughed. "We practiced dude!!!"
"Fuck off Trevor." He
flushed.
"When he did speak, it was
sweet and perfect. Well worth the wait." Jenna beamed at Cam.
"I wanna hear the speech."
I asked, smiling.
"He told me how much peace and
understanding I brought into a dark period of his life by loving him. He asked
me to marry him so he could give me the same for the rest of our lives."
The smile never left her face, even as she leaned in close to kiss him on the
lips again.
"See? Told you: love, peace and
understanding." Trevor nudged me, with a little grin.
I smiled at him genuinely. That's
all it took for the tension to melt away from us.
"What was that?" Cam asked
when he and Jenna stopped gazing disgustingly- err, lovingly- at each other.
"Nothing. I just wasn't aware
flowers have different meanings." I admitted.
"I know rose colors do."
Jenna nodded.
"Flowers too." Trevor
said. He explained why he picked out the array of flowers and it was just as
romantic as the engagement story. I listened, watching him, entranced.
"That's why I recruited you. I
knew I could count on you." Cam nodded.
"Hey! I contributed. Music and
candles were my idea." I added turning to Cam.
"Yeah, she told me we needed
candles to set the mood." Trevor grinned at me.
"You said they symbolized bow
chicka wow wow." I threw him under the bus.
"Shut up Lily."
"He also said that he thought
of Jenna-" I hinted.
"As a beautiful bride. When is
the wedding?" Trevor stopped me as I laughed.
Cam eyed us, suspiciously as Jenna
answered.
"I don't know. We don't want a
long engagement but there's some things we need to figure out before the
wedding."
"Like what?" I asked,
curiously.
"Like our house-"
"-Household duties." Cam
finished for her. Jenna looked at him curiously. I felt the same way.
I scrunched my face up. "Y'all
live together. You haven't figured that out yet?"
"I thought we did... but it's
Sunday and there's no food." Cam said, sarcastically.
"You know why I was busy."
Jenna gave him a knowing look.
"Ewww, gross." I said,
pretending to cover my ears.
Trevor grinned at me. "I guess
the candles worked."
We decided to have dinner together
at Cam's favorite restaurant, Texas de Brazil. We started our meal at the salad
station, helping ourselves to salad, fresh cheeses, an array of vegetables
including asparagus, Brazilian hearts of palm, grilled mushrooms, and olives;
salamis, black beans, jasmine rice, sushi, and soup.
Trevor's non-food-adventurous-self
skipped majority of the salad area. He stuck to the mashed potatoes, fried
bananas and cheese bread served as sides as we went back to the table and
raised the flag to show we needed meat.
Waiters dressed up as gauchos,
Brazilian cowboys, came with spikes of meat that they carved for you to your
heart's content. My workout was pointless as they came by with filet mignon,
chicken, filet mignon or chicken wrapped in bacon, all kinds of sausages, pork
loin, lamb and of course picanha. I would have claimed Texas de Brazil as my
favorite if my brother hadn't already and if I didn't love food so much. I
could never pick a favorite. It would be like picking a favorite kid. I
wouldn't do it!
I began eating with a grin on my
face and no other care in the world when Cam spoke to Trevor.
"Are you gonna eat?"
I looked up just in time to see
Trevor turn away from me.
"Yeah. I'm just gonna watch
your sister put this place outta business first." Trevor grinned.
I laughed. "I'm gonna
try."
Sadly, my eyes were bigger than my
stomach. I could barely finish the plate I got, much less ask for more. I never
left room for dessert, which was a shame as the sample plate looked incredible.
Trevor solved that problem by ordering dessert for us to go.
We happily took pictures and toasted
Jenna and Cam as we waited for the to go bag. When the bill came, Trevor
grabbed it. I was determined to at least split it with him. I made the argument
that Jenna and Cam were my family. I should be treating them.
Trevor agreed. "Exactly. I'm
just glad I get to be a part of this. Let me pay."
"You may not be family, but you’re
definitely a part of me- of this." I corrected, blushing slightly.
He smiled at me warmly, pulling out
his wallet anyway.
I turned to my brother and Jenna who
were both watching us.
I threw out the idea of an
engagement party so all the family could meet to change the subject. Cam said
he would think about it. I told him it was happening and Jenna just laughed.
Cam drove us back to his apartment
before we went our separate ways. Trevor told me he would meet me at my
apartment. I nodded as Cam called me back when I was on the way to my car.
"What's going on with you and
Trevor?" He asked me.
"Nothing. This old dude once
told me to take it easy on dating and stuff." I said, quoting him.
"That's exactly what I'm doing."
"So now you wanna start
listening to your wise older brother." He smiled at me.
"Well, I guess I should follow
your advice. You did get Jenna to agree to marry you. I'm so happy for you. I
agree with Trevor. I'm so grateful I get to be a part of y'all's life
together." I smiled, giving him a hug.
Cam was never much of a hugger, but
he held me close to him for a long moment. When I pulled away, his eyes were
troubled.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing." He said.
"I think the reality is hitting me. I'm gonna be a married old man."
I laughed. "No way. A married
older man with a hot wife that even Trevor fantasizes about."
"He what?!?" My brother
asked, pissed. I laughed before taking off.
Surprisingly, I beat Trevor to my
apartment. I was pulling out my phone to call him when I heard a knock at the
door. I quickly went to open it. Trevor stood at the door with a bottle of red
wine and the take out dessert.
I smiled at him. "About
time!"
"Still hungry?" He said,
in mock disgust.
"Feed me!!!" Was all I
replied.
He laughed and I went and grabbed
two wine glasses and a bottle opener. I poured the wine while he pulled out the
crème brûlée and the chocolate mousse cake.
I reached for the custard dessert
when he pulled it away. I frowned.
"You told me to feed you."
He grinned.
My mouth was watering with
anticipation as he spooned a little crème brûlée. He gave me a teasing taste.
The small creamy bite topped with crunchy sugar gave me just enough pleasure to
piss me off. I needed more.
"Good?" Trevor asked me as
I licked my lips.
I nodded, parting my lips for more.
"After we talk about this
morning." He said, putting it down.
I groaned. "No fair."
"All's fair in love and war.
Since you declared war on Sammy, you leave me no choice." He smiled at me.
I sighed. "I'm not declaring
war on her."
"Coulda fooled me." Trevor
responded.
"Was I harsh? Absolutely. Did I
take it too far? Maybe. That's the only way to get her attention and let her
know I'm not fucking around with her on this." I told him.
"I don't think it's the only
way-"
"It is for me. I set this tone
in our relationship where she thinks she can say what she wants, lash out at me
and I'll leave her alone. I have in the past for the sake of peace. I can't
this time. I'm not biting my tongue for anyone anymore, especially not
something this important." I said with conviction.
"I don't think it is one
extreme or the other Lilypad." Trevor pointed out. "I couldn't
believe the things I heard coming out of your mouth. You're better than that.
Don't stoop down to that level."
What Trevor didn't realize was I wasn't
better than that. He knew me better than most, but even he didn't know the
fucked-up-ness that was a part of me. My past, my experiences, even just my
fucking personality had... I don't know... just darkness. There was only one
person I allowed to see that part of me: Jake. Even though he handled it, (I
know now it was because he had some of his own) we didn't work out. If Trevor
couldn't handle me giving Sammy a well-deserved bitching out, how could handle
that part of me?
I sat there, thinking it over when
Trevor offered me a huge bite of chocolate cake.
I moved my mouth away. "I don't
agree with you. I'm not gonna change." I said, stubbornly.
"Ok." He said, still
trying to feed me the cake.
"I still get dessert?" I
asked, surprised.
He gave me a look. "Duh. I said
talk to me, not agree with me. I know better than to keep food from you
permanently. I don't want my ass kicked." He teased.
I smiled and opened my mouth wide. I
did eat the whole bite, grinning happily. We finished both desserts together
and sat on the couch in a food stupor. We didn't even move to turn on the TV.
The only reason Trevor picked up his phone was because it was beeping
obnoxiously.
"I didn't change back the tone.
I didn't wanna miss your brother's texts yesterday." He explained of the
annoying sound.
He read over the text then looked at
me. "You told your brother I fantasize about Jenna?" He asked,
incredulously.
"Whoops." I grinned at
him.
He grinned too and put his phone
away. "You just got me an ass kicking. What am I gonna do with you?"
I shrugged. "Love me?"
25 comments:
Love it!! Thanks for the post! I can't wait to see what happens with Trevor. I started dating my best friend 5 years ago and the interactions between these two remind me so much of the beginning. Awesome writing!
I love your blog, your writing has improved a lot!
I miss Jake. Keep hoping Lily will come to her senses and give him another try!
Love the post, I think Trevor can handle whatever shit Lily has going on with her personality a lot better than Jake dealt with it. With Trevor take Lily's last comment seriously?! ;)
Totally agree... I think Lily and Trevor are friends... nothing more.
I'm a little frustrated at how Trevor berates her for getting nasty with Sammy, yet completely lets it go how Sammy spoke to her. It's like Lily said, she lets people walk all over her, and people don't expect or appreciate now when she gives it back. Yes, she even admitted she went too far, but as she also said, Sammy says whatever she wants. Half of Sammy's problem with Lily, is Sammy can dish it, but she can't bloody eat it.
K
I don't miss Jake at all, every post with him in it were hard to read nothing like with Trevor , these posts make me smile!
Trevor knows how Sammy is, Sammy is a b and he knows lily will feel bad in the end . There was a part where Sammy said something rude and he called her out or tried too he only got to say her name then they were at it again
I don't think he was berating her at all. Even in the end when she said no she didn't agree he just said OK he just wanted to talk about not make her agree, completely opposite of Jake. I also don't think Jake so much understood her dark side as much as he had enough stuff he was hiding. Why would you want to be with someone who brings out the dark side more then the bright side. In a month relationship they had way more dark times
I feel the opposite, I loved reading posts about her and Jake... The posts with Trevor are hard for me to read.... I don't like Lily and him together.
K, I think there's a little bit of truth in what Sammy said that its because he doesn't expect that behavior from his lily pad, but he's used to Sammy's name calling and bitch behavior.
I'm so confused by Lily's behavior. I feel that there's so many ways to stand up for yourself without the name calling, I feel that she's acting like a brat! Is it really any of her business what sammy does with her life? Does she need to talk to Sammy like that to get the truth out of her. If all she really wants to do is help her, there's other ways to get the truth out of her.
Yes, Sammy was nasty also, but Lily needed to defend herself with the truth not stoop down to her level and get nasty.
There obviously a lot of sexual tension between Lily & Trevor, but is it just Lily trying to forget about Jake? I don't know, I guess we'll see.....
Luita
You're very welcome! Thank you!
Argh, Must admit I'm kinda torn about where this story line is heading. It would be fun to write about their friendship growing into something more.
Thank you so much. I'm slowly in the process of starting from the beginning and cleaning all the post up. This comment completely motivated me and made my day!
I agree! I miss Jake, think Trevor and Lily are great friends, and love reading post about Trevor and Lily and Jake and Lily.
Can't wait till Lily (and I) figure out her feelings.
Geez, don't like hearing the author say they miss a character I hated for lily :( guess it's fiction can't always like the ending, hope she never gets back with Jake but I'm not writing it lol
Grow into something more! but give it a little more time for all the nay sayers to get over Jake and have Jake move on and improve on how he treats women but not with lily
If she ever got back together with Jake I feel like I would have to take a break (which would be hard because I love your blog) then come back couple months later, read the newest post and if she was not with Jake go back and catch up and if she was take another break lol. We can't all agree though :) jj
My characters are like my children. I love all of them, even the not so great ones. I do miss not writing or reading about him! :-D
***Spoiler alert****
Whoever Jake or Lily dates next will be dating a changed person. Just a matter of time and how they change. Hope you continuing to read to find out who and how!
Possibly. Just wondering if Lily will ever give him that chance.
And I wasn't planning on addressing that last comment just to leave it up in the air kinda like the song.
K, I definitely understand your frustration. Lily feels the same. Anonymous 1 made a great comment about Trevor holding Lily to a higher standard then Sammy. That ties into Lily's dark side. She feels because Trevor doesn't know everything about her, he shouldn't hold her to that standard.
Anonymous 2, Jake and Lily didn't bring out the best in each other. I think everyone can agree with that! Lily never needed Jake to understand her darker side, just accept it. She's unsure if Trevor will.
Luita, you expressed exactly how Trevor feels! As far as Jake/Lily/Trevor goes, we will see :-)
I SO hope something happens between Trevor and Lily! I've been loving these posts :) great writing like usual! I DONT miss jake at all haha
Agree 100%
I have to disagree w/ Anon. I think there wasn't any need for improvement. I read over 20-some blogs and yours has got to be one of my favorites. Right from the beginning I loved everything about it from your writing style to how all your characters have different ethnic backgrounds instead of the typical white girl character "living it up" in NYC like most of these fictional blog do. Keep up the awesome work!
Thank you! I probably read the same ones you do and I love them. Dallas is the biggest city I lived in, and my family is multicultural, so I love reading the life and perspectives of those girls. But I write what I know.
I think (hope) anonymous was taking about grammar, which is a struggle for me, especially in the beginning!
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