Against All Odds

"So take a look at me now

Well there's just an empty space

And there's nothing left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face

Ooh, Take a look at me now

Well there's just an empty space

And you coming back to me is against the odds

And that's what I've got to face" Against All Odds by Phil Collins

I stood outside the door of Ethan's two story home. The confidence that got me there was fading. The skinny jeans, blue tee, and vest I agonized over that morning felt too casual and too hot. It was still spring, nowhere as hot as it could get in Dallas, but I was so uncomfortable. The old me wouldn't care. In fact, the girl that Ethan knew would have thrown on basketball shorts and a t-shirt and wouldn't have given it a second thought. I knew my feelings had nothing to do with my outfit or the weather, but the man I came to see. One of the last times we were alone was about two years ago.  He told me he had feelings for me, and I told him I was moving to California. I tried to push those memories back, but they came anyway...

-Flashback: June 2012-

I relaxed as I stretched out on my bed fully dressed. I just got home from my graduation dinner. I was officially a Doctor of Physical Therapy. My adoptive father wasn't as pleased as he would be if I was graduating medical school, but I didn't let that dampen my accomplishments. I realized that I owed him a lot, but not my life. I needed to make my own choices.

My adoptive brother Cam was there too. He was reserved, holding back not only his disappointment and anger at me, but his pride. 2 weeks ago changed everything.

My phone rang from my nightstand. It was Ethan. I sighed before answering.

"Hey"

"Is this a good time? Can I come over so we can talk?" he asked.

"Sure"

I hung up the phone and waited 15 minutes before I heard knocking on my door. I let him in, trying hard to ignore the way his eyes roamed over me in my dress and cardigan. He hardly ever saw me in anything other than my scrubs, casual clothes or less.

"So what's up?” I asked, trying to keep my mind out the gutter.

"Congratulations." he said simply, handing me an envelope.

"Thank you. You didn't have to do this."

"I didn't. EJ did."

I watched him as he ran his hand through his hair. I went to open it but he stopped me.

"Can we talk first?"

When I nodded, he led us to my couch.

"I'm sorry about everything that happened with your brother." He began as soon as we sat down.

I cut him off. "It wasn't your fault. Don't worry about my brother."

"Ok," he continued, "Well I guess I just wanted to tell you that I know everything between us has been...."

"Completely fucked up?" I supplied, sarcastically. A smirk appeared on his lips. 

"A little," He admitted. " but regardless of all that, it's been...amazing"

I knew the shock was evident on my face, but I recovered quickly. "You’re not so bad yourself." I grinned, winking dramatically.

He chuckled. "First of all, that wink was really creepy." I laughed at that. "Second, I'm not talking about the sex. Well, not only the sex." He clarified.

When he grabbed my hands and looked in my eyes, my stomach flipped- with both nerves and desire. "It's been amazing getting to know you. I want you in my life as my girlfriend."

I took a deep breath and stood, dropping his hands. I paced around the floor.

"Lily, say something." Ethan said, watching me.

"Say what?" I responded.

"Anything. What do you think?"

"I think that we said it wasn't... it couldn't be serious. This was a rebound for you." I said, trying to pull him back to his senses.

"I know what I said. Maybe it started out that way, but it's not that way anymore. At least, not for me." Ethan explained, standing up to face me. " I have real feelings for you Lily. I love-"

"I'm moving to California" I blurted out, before he could finish.

"What? Why?" He said, confused.

"I've been offered a fellowship and I'm taking it."

"Ok..." He responded. "Ok. I'm ok with that. However long the fellowship, I'm willing to make it work. We can make it work."

I shook my head. "No... I don't think that's a good idea."

"Don't think. Just tell me how you feel?" Ethan pleaded.

"I told you how I felt when this first started. This was just temporary. It was just fun." I said softly. I watched his eyes darkened, before he nodded, turned around and headed out the house I let the tears fall as I opened the envelope.

-Present-

The thought of the letter in the envelope snapped me back into the present. The little crayon drawing with Dr. Harris written on the top gave me the last bit of courage to push the doorbell. I had no idea what the future holds for me and Ethan, but I knew for sure I wanted to re-establish my relationship with Ethan Jr.