Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch 'cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move, the things that I do oh”
The Bitch Is Back by Elton John
"I would take it as a good sign. You know how protective he
is about EJ. He knows inviting you back is inviting you into his life as well.
He could've just said no; he had every right to."
I looked up from my fish tacos and glared at her. How could she
think that?!? I wanted to deny it, but the way she narrowed her eyes at me made
me stop.
Racqelle got the nickname Rocky from our friends in college
because she was the verbal heavy weight champion. She wasn't one to pick
fights, but they all ended with a TKO with her fast wit and no-nonsense superiority.
She was 5'5 and petite and even I had serious doubts if I could take her out.
We've been friends since our first year of college and we've never had a major
blowout, even when we lived together. The way she was looking at me, I knew she
was equipped to go to battle for that statement. I needed to think it over
before I engaged at one of my favorite taco spots.
I took a bite of my borracho beans. I enjoyed the bacon and beer
flavor as I tried to see her point. After the scene at the hospital, when Ethan
found out about Megan cheating, he cut me out of EJ's life. I completely
understood him needing time to adjust and figure things out. I wasn't going to
debate that, but I knew how it felt to be abandoned at a young age and not
understand why. My mother raised me until I was four before giving me up for
adoptions. I still had questions. I wasn't going to do that to EJ. When
Christmas rolled around that year, I made sure to send him a tablet, preloaded
with games and our pictures together so he knew I hadn't forgot about him.
Ethan eventually came around to me being in EJ's life. That situation was worse
than now. Why would he want to keep me away?
Rocky shook her head when I explained and asked that.
"That situation was out of your control. You and your
brother were misled by Megan. This situation was all on you and you fucked it
up." Rocky declared, taking a bite out of her huge shrimp salad. "Big
time" She emphasized.
"That's not fair. Just because I didn't want to be with
him-"
Rocky scoffed and gave me her 'tell that to someone who believes
it' smirk.
"I wasn't ready to be with him," I corrected, “it
doesn't give him the right to just cut me off."
"Yeah it does, if it makes him uncomfortable with his son.
You going behind his back to keep a relationship with EJ when you left? That
would be enough for him to cut you off."
I blushed with shame. I got to say goodbye to EJ and I promised
him I'd keep in touch. Ethan told me at the time I didn't need to. He told me
he would explain my absence and sooner or later EJ would accept that I was
gone. That thought was so depressing, I made sure to call Brandon on the days I
knew he was watching EJ to talk to him. It lasted for a few weeks until I got a
call from Brandon. He went off on me, telling me it was not fair to put him in
the middle of me and Ethan. He had no idea how hurt Ethan would be when he
learned I was still in communication with his son and not run it by him. I
apologized profusely and called Ethan that night. He didn't answer. He texted
me back and let me know it was fine that I was still talking to EJ. I never got
a chance to apologize...
"Look, I understand why you did it. Do you understand why it
is a big thing that he's okay with all this? I mean, even Brandon thought you
were a bitch for that." Rocky explained.
I winced at that. Brandon was once the number one supporter as
far as Ethan and I being together. The fact that he felt that way really made
me feel worse.
"I think this time around, you have to be honest about
every possibility to how this might play out and what you want." Rocky
finished.
I nodded sadly.
"Snap out of it. You've been back for 8 hours! I wanna have
fun. Not think about sending you back to your daddy!"
I smiled at that. "That ain't happenin'. The bitch is
back!"
"Bitch! Go get us more queso. You finished the last of
it!"
We both busted out laughing.
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