Ain't it Fun

"Ain't it fun living in the real world
Ain't it good being all alone
Ain't it good to be on your ownAin't it fun you can't count on no oneAin't it good to be on your ownAin't it fun you can't count on no one
Ain't it fun living in the real world
Don't go crying to your mama 'cause you're on your own in the real world" Ain't it Fun by Paramore


This weekend Sammy and I went shopping at the mall. I had no idea what I wanted to wear for my first day of work. I knew I wouldn't be doing any actual work with patients, just orientation. Thankfully, once I really start to work, my uniform consists of a company issued polo and any bottoms except jeans, so I didn't have to shop for much, just shoes and maybe some comfortable black pants. I figured it wouldn't hurt to look for a nice first day outfit. First impressions, right?

"Oooo, Victoria Secret has a sale." Sammy exclaimed as we walked by the store.

"Work clothes Sammy." I reminded her as we passed it.

"Fine. Work clothes first." She replied as we went into H&M.

As always, we headed to the clearance rack first. Sammy was on a budget, and I just never was one to spend a ton of money on clothes. Before, it didn't really matter how much I spent on clothes: I felt fat in everything. I tended to stick with loose and comfortable. I still preferred comfort, but I was learning how to dress my body better.

Sammy took this as her personal mission. She picked out khaki pants from the clearance rack before heading to the regular racks. I let her go crazy. Even H&M full price was better than many department stores. And I had to admit, I was excited to pimp my wardrobe.

"So what's going on with you and Ethan?" Sammy asked me, holding up a red patterned, low cut, hi low maxi dress.

"Nothing.." I eyed the dress. "I have way too much boobage for that."

"Exactly! That 'nothing' would turn into something if you were wearing stuff like this around Ethan." She suggested, putting it in the pile.

"I can't even get him alone, even if I just wanted sex." I finished.

Ethan had been so busy lately. He didn't even come out with us last weekend. This weekend he had EJ, so hanging out would mean EJ too. While I adored my EJ time, I couldn't talk to Ethan about us with EJ around.

We headed to the dressing room so I could try on the items we picked out.

"Ethan is hot. I'm sure he can find time for hooking up. If he's not already..." Sammy hinted over the door dividing us.

That hurts. Even though it's not something I haven't thought about. I'm not naive enough to think he hasn't hooked up with anyone. The important thing is he isn't dating anyone. Rocky told me he hadn't brought any girls around recently and Brandon confirmed that.

 I did my own investigation on Facebook. Plenty of girls showed up on his feed; friends that tagged him when he went out, girls he worked with commenting on his pictures, or even some moms from EJ's school and activities liking his statuses. There was only one girl I knew of that he dated, but she was out of the picture a while ago.

"That's why I'm waiting to talk to him. I don't want it to be just sex. I want more." I said, slipping the red dress over my head, before stepping out of the dressing room

I turned away to look in the mirror. It did look good. The red and white looked amazing against my bronze skin. My legs looked long and shapely with the shorter hem in the front. My cleavage is visible, but not trashy; sexy, but not over the top.

"I love it. I can picture you wearing it as you tell all those other bitches to take a hike when you and Ethan get back together!" Sammy declared. I laughed at her craziness before trying on my next outfit.

Our trip to H&M was so successful, I didn't need to visit any other clothing stores. I ended up picking pinstripe pants and a blue linen sleeveless dress shirt for my first day of work. I went to Sketchers and got two new pairs of sneakers. At another shoe store, I found a really cute pair of nude wedges that were on sale. And I could walk in them perfectly! (I blame my inability to walk in heels on my lack of mother figure. Sammy blames my lack of coordination. Whatever) Now I didn't have to wear sandals or ballet flats with the cute dresses I bought. On the way out, we did stop by Victoria Secret. Sammy talked me into buying as much as she did, with the allure of Ethan seeing me in them.

We stopped by Quiznos on the way home. I got a huge salad and Sammy got the roast beef sandwich.

"So how's it going at the bar?" I asked her, while we sat and ate.

"It's going." She sighed, breaking to take a sip of her drink. "The money is better being a lead bartender. But sometimes I wonder if it worth it; especially since I'm expected to come in or stay late when one of the bartenders don't show up."

"Does that happen a lot?"

"A lot more with the new HR person. We have no say on who's getting hired, but I gotta deal with them screwing up. It is so frustrating."

"Have you ever thought of going back to school?" I asked. She was taking courses at a community college when we met.

"Sometimes, but the money is just too good. I love my apartment. Going to school would mean I would have to drop back down to a bartender. I don't wanna be struggling for years while taking classes." She responded.

"Not necessarily. It doesn't have to be a degree. Get certified in something. Trade schools are no more than 2 years. We could move in together, so you could step down." I suggested.

She lit up at that. "Really? You would do that for me?"

"Really Sammy. I need a place to stay. Why not move in together?"

"What about Rocky?"

"Rocky has Brandon. I feel like I'm intruding on their time. I'm just staying there till I get a paycheck so I could prove employment for an apartment." I explained.

"Ooo, that's perfect! I can look into us getting a two bedroom town home at my apartment complex. It'll be like 500 a month for both of us." Sammy said.

"Sounds like a plan. Get on it Roomy!"