Sexual Healing

"Baby I got sick this morning
A sea was storming inside of me
Baby I think I'm capsizing
The waves are rising and rising
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing is good for me
Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush
Helps to relieve the mind, and it's good for us
Sexual Healing, baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
And it's good for me and it's good to me" Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye

Today was the day! I finally began working with patients on my own. Wednesday I spent shadowing Christy, another physical therapist. She was older with dirty blonde hair that she pulled up in ponytail and light blue eyes. Her body was in amazing shape for her age. 43, she proudly informed me. Honestly, in the uniform polo and black running shorts, she could pass for 30s.

She knew her stuff. She ran me through reading patient charts and walked me through training routines with her patients. The patients that I met were excited about rehabbing their injuries. At the hospital I worked at before, we saw a number of patients for different reasons. Most just wanted to regain their range of motion and strength just for functionality. It was so much more fun working with patients that were determined to get back to their sport or their personal 100%.

Christy's last patient of the day was a 17 year old kid that tore his ACL playing basketball. He had surgery to repair his knee 4 months ago. Christy introduced me and explained to him I was new and she was letting me take over his rehab for the day. He grinned and made a comment about being my first patient, and breaking my cherry. I smiled back politely, and informed him he wasn't my first patient and that since he was supporting his own weight, it was time to break him into endurance exercises. Christy laughed when he grimaced, and we got to work.

 At the end of the day, she told Derek she was impressed with my knowledge and my professional attitude with all her patients. Derek informed me that the training wheels were officially off.

As I got ready to go into work, I took a couple of minutes to calm and prepare myself. I was confident in work abilities. I knew the basics backwards and forwards, but I can't help my nerves. Growing up, I put too much pressure on myself to be the best. My father didn't help, with him always setting goals for me, but I had to admit, I pushed myself the hardest. I knew I wasn't going to be the most popular, or skinniest, or prettiest, but I could be the smartest. I drove myself close to meltdowns with my quest for perfection. I sighed as I remembered some of my younger, obsessive routines.

***FLASHBACK****

March 2012


"What do you want Rocky?" I yelled from my desk, not even looking up at my door when Rocky knocked. She normally just barged in, but she knows better than to disturb me while I was studying for a test. I locked myself in my room, and buried myself in my notes. Right now, I was on the second phase of studying. I already read and rewrote my notes. Now I was writing my own review sheet. Next, I would answer the questions on it. Then last, I would go over practice exams questions.

"It's me."

I looked up in surprise to see Ethan at the door. I was so shocked at seeing him, I barely acknowledged that I was wearing an old tank top and basketball shorts. I had taken great effort recently to make sure I didn't look sloppy around him, especially after our kiss 2 weeks ago. We both mutually agreed it was a mistake and to never speak of it again. Or at least, I did. The only time I saw Ethan now was when he dropped off EJ. He never hung out anymore nor did he bring the kiss up, so I assumed he felt the same way about forgetting it happened.

"Hey... what's up?" I said, confused, tearing my eyes from my notes to study him instead. He was wearing dark denim jeans and a white v-neck. He seems a little uneasy, which is so not like Ethan.

"Racqelle told me you were studying."

"Yeah, got an exam coming up."

"I wanna cash in on my last favor."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Ethan, I have an exam. I can't stop because of a stupid bet."

"A stupid bet that you lost." He reminded me. I sighed and closed my notes.

"Fine, but I can only watch EJ for 2 hours tops today." I warned him, standing up, stretching.

He shook his head at me. "I don't need a babysitter. I want you to eat dinner with me."

I walked to the kitchen with him, confused. When I saw the table set with grilled salmon, rice, and salad, I looked up at Ethan shocked.

"What is all this?" I asked him

"I came by earlier, but Racqelle kicked me out. She told me you wouldn't want to see me because you were studying. I figured you had to eat sooner or later. Salmon is supposed to be brain food." He explained, as we sat down.

"Where is she now?" I asked, suspiciously.

"In her words, 'getting the hell outta here so when that dumbass plan doesn't work, I don't have to witness her epic freak out.'"

I laughed at that. That's Rocky. Ethan smiled at me. "She didn't know about the favor you owed me."

I smiled back and we ate together. After dinner, I thanked him, admitting to him that I needed the break and I did tend to get a little intense when it came to my studies.

"I see that. Racqelle warned me. I never felt anxious about knocking on a door." He stated, shaking his head, as he put the clean dishes on the dish dryer.

"Shut up!" I laughed, turning around to flick water at him from the sink. Suddenly, he moved from beside me to behind me, wrapping his arms around me. I froze, temporarily stunned, until he grabbed my hands and made me splash myself with the water.

"Lily...you're making a mess!" He chuckled, as a squealed at him to stop. I was laughing too as I used my body to shove him away. I rocked my hips back, pushing against his pelvis.

When he groaned and nuzzled my neck, I stopped. He held me against him, moving his wet hands up my arms as he placed a little kiss on my shoulder. When he does it again, and again, and again, caressing my arms as he kissed my exposed skin, I feel myself melting in his arms.

"What are we doing?" He breathed in my ear, letting me go and taking a step back.

"I don't know. You keep kissing me." I accused, turning around. I bit my lip when I saw him staring at me intently.

"I know." He replied, before kissing me again, hungrily. His tongue explored my mouth, leaving me light headed. His arms slipped around my waist as he kissed me deeper, pulling me closer.

"Do you think...it's revenge?" I asked him, breathlessly between kisses.

He winced and pulled away. "Is that what you think of me?"

"No. I mean, I don't know. It would kinda be the perfect revenge. Sleeping with the sister of the guy who slept with your fiancee..." I trailed off, feeling silly as it sounded like a plot from a telenovela.

"I wouldn't do that to you. I like you- EJ likes you too much for me to use you like that." Ethan eased my mind. I brightened at his confession about liking me.

"At the same time, I'm not ready for a relationship. I don't even want to date right now." He sounds so bitter. I was the one telling him to let all that stuff with Megan go, so he can move on. Here I was, throwing it all in his face.

"I don't want a relationship either." I declared, changing the subject.

When he looked skeptical, I elaborated. "I really don't. Right now I'm focusing on school and work, graduating and getting licensed, then finding a job. I don't have time for a relationship." I rambled on.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'm fine with keeping things casual." I clarified. "As long as we can keep it between us. And if you, you know, make it worth my while."

He smiled at me and brought me closer to him. "I can work with that." He agreed.

***PRESENT***

A tingle hits me between my legs as I remember our first time. My studying was the last thing on my mind when he took me back to my room that night. He definitely made it worth my while. The very first time, we both were impatient, and it was quick but so amazing. The second time was even better. He teased me, exploring my body in the dark before finally taking me again. I never got back to my studying routine, but I still did aced my exam.

I learned that night to let my nerves keep me focused rather than drive me crazy. And that orgasms can be a great stress relief...

I shook my head, trying to physically force those thoughts away while I finished getting ready to go to work. I wanna stay focused, and I know thoughts of Ethan can keep me distracted all day.