Latch

"You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down
You, you enchant me even when you're not around
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down
I’m latching on, babe, now I know what I have found
I feel we're close enough
Could I lock in your love?
I feel we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love?
Now I’ve got you in my space
I won’t let go of you
Got you shackled in my embrace
I’m latching on to you" Latch (Acoustic) by Sam Smith

"T-Rev, what's wrong with you?" I asked when I found my voice, running my fingers against his short hair. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest, but I kept it together.

He pulled away abruptly and glared at me. Even in the dark, I could see the harshness of his glare. I held my ground and stared back.

"There's something wrong with me because I want to marry you?" He asked, in disbelief.

"There is something wrong with you. You're upset. I can tell. Talk to me." I said, soothingly, trying to stroke his face. He yanked away from me, his eyes flashing angrily.

He got out of bed and pulled on some clothes.

"I am upset. I told you I wanted to marry you and that's your response." He said, his voice filled with more hostility than I ever heard from him.

"Trevor-" I barely got his name out before he stalked out the room and slammed the door. I got up, dressed and followed him. I found him standing over the sink in the kitchen.

I approached him but he didn't look up. "I understand if you're upset. If you need time, take it; but I know this is not about the house, or marriage or us." I informed him.

"Yes it is." He said, stubbornly but refused to meet my eye.

"No it's not. If you're trying to pick a fight so I'll leave, I will just go." I said, dejectedly.

"No, don't leave." He said, quickly.

"Then don't lie to me. You've been upset since we left your mom's house. I felt it the second you came home. I respect if you don't want to talk about it. Respect that I know you better than that." I said, gently but firmly.

He turned around to look at me, his face bleak.

"I'm sorry. You're right." He looked down before starting again. "My mom and your dad both agree we're not right for each other."

I tried to keep the hurt from showing on my face, but I don't think I did.

"Why?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer, but I couldn't help myself.

He covered his face in his hand. "I don't even want to go into everything she said."

That made me want to know even more, but I was more distracted by his bruised knuckles.

"Trevor! What happened?" I gasped, grabbing his hand.

His winced, but let me take it away from his face.

"The refrigerator ran into my fist." He said, jokingly. I gave him a disapproving look and he looked away. I went to the freezer and grabbed a few pieces of ice. I retrieved a plastic grocery bag from his pantry. After making him an ice bag, I led him to the couch. We sat down and iced his knuckles.

"At least your dad was upfront about his feelings. As much as I might not like it, at least there were no surprises. "Trevor shook his head and paused.  "I've never seen this side of my mom. It's was-I can't believe it Lily."

I stroked his hand encouragingly as I listened.

"I can show your dad I can take care of you, that we're good together. My mom- she's just going to have to accept us. If she doesn't-" he trailed off.

I shook my head. "She will, just give it time ok? Hopefully by the time you propose, for real." I smiled, trying to lighten the mood. He gave me a weak smile in return.

After we iced his hand, we went back to bed. My head was filled with all the little strange things I ignored concerning Trevor's mom after we started dating. A lot of different ideas swirled around in my head until I realized ultimately, it didn't matter.

We would treat it just like the situation with my dad. It didn't change our relationships with them. I knew how it felt not to have my mom in my life. I didn't want Trevor to experience that and I knew he would never want me to not have a relationship with my dad.

Hopefully, they would come around. More importantly, it didn't change us. I loved Trevor and he loved me. We were going to be together no matter what. I knew that without a doubt. We had each other, and that's all that mattered.

Monday morning, I woke up early to make Trevor a breakfast sandwich before he went to work. I went home with Justine, got dressed and ran some errands. The first was dropping off my personal grievance to Ann. On my way to her office, I chatted with Jordan and promised her we would grab lunch or dinner together soon.

I also went to my apartment complex office and gave them notice of me not renewing my lease. Then I went grocery shopping for Trevor's place and went back his apartment. I made shrimp scampi, rice and green beans and played on my phone while I waited for him to come home.

I saw I had a message on Facebook from Christian. He sent a group message inviting us to Cabo San Lucas for Memorial Day. Considering my job situation, I wasn't even going to considered it, but Bianca messaged me too, asking if we were going. I gave her a call.

"You're going? Since when are you friends with Christian?" I asked her when she answered.

"Since the concert! And not Christian, his girlfriend! I need to go. My future depends on it." She said, dramatically.

Bianca was the least dramatic person I knew, so my interest was piqued.

"His girlfriend? You know her?" I asked.

"Everyone knows her! He's dating Noelle!"

"Noelle?"

"Noelle Pennington?!? Her parents own a luxury furniture chain-she's a reality star/stylist to the stars. She saw the blazer I designed at the Tiesto show and she told me I have great style. Great style!" She exclaimed.

"That's awesome B, but maybe I should talk to Christian to make sure she was being sincere before you get too excited."

"Lily, she was! Watch her show on E!. She's so cool and down to earth and super funny." Bianca gushed.

"I'm sure she has writers B." I smiled.

"In real life too!"

"Y'all hung out more than once?"

"No, but we're friends on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and we chat sometimes."

"Sounds like I need to come to make sure you don't drink her bath water or something." I joked.

"Maybe her blood..." Bianca mused.

I laughed. "I'll get back to you about it."

"Regardless, I'm planning to see you before I start working this summer, so let me know."

"Will do."

I looked through the invite again to see who was all invited. It looked like a college reunion: everyone who was part of our "Baylor group" was invited. Christian wrote bedrooms at the guest house was first come first serve, but provided a link of nearby hotels and villas. Trevor came home from work while I was looking through them.

"Hey T-Rev." I smiled at him. He gave me a lopsided smile back.

"Hey Lilypad." He said, walking over and giving me a kiss on the forehead. "It smells good in here."

"Yeah, I made dinner. Let me make sure it's still warm." I said, getting up from the couch. After I heated our plates, we sat down and ate.

"How's your hand?" I asked him. He stopped mid bite to examine it.

"It's fine." He answered, plainly. "How was your day?"

"Productive. I gave Ann my grievance, dropped off my 30 day notice at my apartment. So come June you'll have a new-hopefully employed- roommate. Or two roommates including Justine. Which we should probably tell your apartment manager, huh?" I pondered out loud.

"I'll take care of it." Trevor responded.

There was an awkward moment of silence, so I kept talking. "About my employment situation, remember Adil? The guy I went to graduate school with?"

Trevor looked up at me. "The guy that took you rock climbing on a date and got mad when you won?"

I smiled. "So he was a little competitive: great friend, bad date. Anyway, he told me people are getting moved around, meaning they have to hire new therapists. He told me to send him my resume." I said.

"Where does he work? A hospital?"

"No, a sports clinic like I work at now, but it's the clinic for the Dallas Mavericks!" I said, excitedly.

"So, you'll travel with the team?" Trevor questioned.

"No. Only the team doctor and his staff does that. Like right now, Chandler Parson has a knee injury that required surgery. He would come to the clinic, get the surgery and rehab before rejoining the team."

"Should I know who Chandler Parson is?" He asked.

"No... but I do! That's why I feel like this would be a good fit for me. I'm trying not to get excited, but I did send him my resume." I told him.

"Good, I'll be excited for you." He said, smiling but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Thanks." I said, before focusing on my food. I only got green beans and shrimp. If I had to start interviewing, I wanted to be in great shape.

We continued to chat over our meal, but I could tell something was off. I couldn't name it, but I could feel it. I didn't bring up the Mexico trip. I figured he got the message too, so I would wait for him to bring it up. That made me realize I was initiating all the conversations. I knew something was wrong, but he wasn't angry or upset, and I didn't want him to be, so I left it alone.

On Tuesday, I invited the girls to have dinner with me. Jordan, Sammy, Amber and Rocky were all able to make it. After we got settled with drinks and ordered our food, (water and salad for me) I told everyone about Trevor's and my plans to move in together.

"When my lease is up, I'm moving in his place, but then we're going to find a place together." I explained.

“Oh wow. That’s huge. I told you y’all would be married next!” Amber exclaimed excitedly.

“Calm down with all of that. We're just moving in together.” I shook my head. The last thing I needed was in more engagement bullshit. I had enough for one week, thank you.

"Yeah, don't jinx them Amber." Sammy said, smirking.

"Moving in without a ring is a jinx." Jordan commented. I looked at her, questioningly.

"If you're making a commitment to live together, you might as well be engaged." Jordan stated.

"One commitment isn't enough?" I said, confused.

"I'm just saying, living together is hard. If you're going to commit to it, you should have a ring." Jordan explained.

"A ring doesn't mean commitment. Actions do." Rocky disagreed. "You should do what you feel comfortable with. I can help you figure out what you can afford and hook you two up with a realtor."

"We're holding back on any major decisions until I have a job." I said.

"What is going on that? When will you be back?" Jordan asked.

I explained to them the personal grievance I just filed.

"I don't know how you could still work under her. She needs to be suspended." Amber said disgusted when I told them about Sandra and my former patient.

"We’ll see what happens." I shrugged.

"We are always looking for new bartenders." Sammy smiled at me.

I snorted. "I don't think I'm honey bee material."

We ate, chatted and talked about our weekend. Sammy told us how she had dinner with her mom, Amber had to work, but Will cooked dinner for the family; Jordan went shopping with her mom; and shockingly Rocky drove to Houston to visit her mom.

"I figured I would break the news to her in person." Rocky said. Everyone nodded sadly, except Jordan.

"What news?" She asked, confused.

"The engagement is off... indefinitely." Rocky struggled to admit. She fidget with her hand. I looked down to see she wasn't wearing her ring.

"I'm so sorry." Jordan said, sympathetically.

“Me too.” Rocky said simply.

"What's up with Memorial Day?" I said, changing the subject. Rocky looked at me grateful. I smiled.

Sammy told us she would be working. Amber looked uncomfortable as she said, "Will and Ethan wanted to do Joe Pool Lake again. With the kids, it's easy and family friendly."

"That sounds nice." I said, quickly glancing at Rocky. Her face stayed neutral, but I knew she was thinking about Brandon. Just last year they threw a Memorial Day party at the same lake. "Christian invited us to Mexico. Were you thinking about it Rocky?"

"No." She said, quickly.

"Maybe you should." I nodded.

"Can I take her spot if she doesn't go? Derek chose to work. I choose not to sit at home waiting around for him." Jordan declared.

I smiled. "Whatever we do, you're invited!"

After dinner, we got up and hugged goodbye.

"This was so nice! We haven't had a girl's night in forever." Amber commented.

"I know. We need to do this more often. No boyfriends." Sammy agreed.

"After Memorial Day." I nodded as we went our separate ways. I followed Rocky to her house.

When I pulled into her driveway, she stood outside her car waiting for me.

"I thought you learned your lesson about stalking people." Rocky said, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Never." I said, closing my car door after I got out. "You're not wearing your ring. Did you talk to Brandon?"

"No, I actually talked to Ethan." She confessed.

My confusion must have read on my face, because she explained.

"He called me Sunday evening to ask what was going on. Brandon told his family we broke up over the weekend." She said, calmly.

"Rocky-" I started.

"No, it's ok."

"It's not ok." I disagreed.

"My mistakes got me here. I have no one to blame but myself. I wish things worked out differently, but it didn't. I can't force him to hear me out. I'm sending back his ring."

"Rocky, I thought you were going to fight for him." I reminded her.

"There's nothing to fight about. Talking to Ethan finally made me realize that."

"What? What did he say?" I exclaimed.

"Nothing bad. He asked me to give it some time. He told me when Megan cheated on him, it took him time to forgive her, but he did." Rocky explained.

"So how did you take that to mean giving up?" I asked, bewildered.

"I'm not giving up. It just can't be on my terms, when and how I want it. I'm waiting for him to want to talk to me. Until then, I'm respecting his wishes. Including leaving him alone and sending back his ring." Rocky said.

I nodded understandingly. "I get that. I just wish Brandon would hear the truth."

"Me too, but it's not my decision."

"Maybe you should write a letter, when you send back the ring? It worked for me and Jake." I suggested.

"Maybe." She shrugged. I started to leave, but Rocky stopped me. "Ethan wanted to send you a card."

"For what?"

"Mother's Day." When I made a face, she continued. "That's what I told him would be your reaction."

"I didn't even know they made sorry I knocked you up and accused you of an abortion when you miscarried cards." I said, sarcastically.

"Pretty sure Hallmark makes a card for everything." Rocky smirked

I sighed. "Why would he even want to bring it up?"

"It was years ago for you; it's been less than a year for him. He's a lot more sensitive than he puts off."

"I guess. I will never figure him out." I shrugged, before leaving.

I went to Trevor's apartment. He was in bed, working on his laptop and barely acknowledged me. I lost my patience with him. I knew we were supposed to be pulling together, but I also knew him well enough to know something was still wrong. Fuck not making him upset; now I was. I wasn't going to continue to plan our future if this was what it was going to be now.

"Look, I don't want to be a nagging girlfriend that always wants to talk about feelings, but this isn't going to work for me." I started, standing over him.

Trevor took a deep breath and put his laptop away. "What's up?"

"You tell me. You didn't want to tell me what your mom said, and I thought I didn't need to know. If it changes things between us, we need to talk about it." I demanded.

He shook his head. "It doesn't."

"Then what is it? Things aren't the same." I said, impatiently.

"I proposed to you to spite my mom. I feel like an idiot." He admitted.

I sat down beside him and sighed. "I understand that, probably better than anyone. I've been doing things out of spite to my dad since I found out I was moving to Texas. Remember that t-shirt they sent us when we committed to Baylor?" When he nodded, I kept going. "I wore that every night before I left to show him he had no more say in my life. Feeling like I had to spite him gave him as much control as caving in. I didn't realize that until you." I admitted.

"What do you mean? Part of being with me is to spite him?" Trevor asked.

"No Trevor. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I know my dad loves me and wants the best for me: You give me that. It's the same with your mom, she'll come around. She has to. All we have to do is be happy and live our life." I assured him.

"It's that simple?" Trevor said, stroking my hair.

"If I make you happy, then yes." I nodded, looking into his eyes.

He gave me the first real, genuine smile since Mother's Day. "You do. I can't wait to make you my wife."

"Well, you're going to have to. The next proposal better have a ring and a little more creativity." I teased him.

"I already told you how I was going to propose, remember? When we decorated your brother's place for his proposal?" He chuckled.

I thought about it, then pushed him back on the bed. "You better not. I told you I would kill you if you did that to me!"

"You would say yes first right?" He grinned, running his fingers through my hair, resting them on the back of my neck to pull my face close to his.

"Yes." I breathed against his lips.

"Then I'll die the happiest man in the world." He smiled before kissing me.