Wasted (Trevor's POV)

***Mini bonus. Trevor's point of view


"You are a glass half empty
Sipping my ocean dry
Emotionally spend me
Till none of our planets could align
But I could stand you one more night
I like us better when we're wasted
It makes it easier to say it
Lay all your laundry on the bed
And then I'll lay in it instead
I like us better when we're wasted
Oh oh oh oh oh" Wasted by Tiësto

"We need another round!" I cheered after downing another shot of the three wise men. Sammy told me it was Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam. All three were my best friends tonight.

"You need to slow down before I call Lily." Sammy teased me.

"Good luck. She can't talk. She's having daddy-daughter time." I said, taking the shot Corey declined.

I thought she was kidding when I called her earlier, but she really was spending one on one time with her dad. I guess I should've been glad they were getting along, but I wasn't since I couldn't win him over.

I know, I made a bad first impression. When I have a daughter, I wouldn't want some dude feeling her up in a pool. Well, maybe now I would be more understanding, but I understood it. We started off on the wrong foot, but I thought I could turn it around. Especially since technically, it wasn't our first time meeting. I thought he might cut me come slack.

He didn't. Mr. Ortiz didn't warm up to me the entire weekend. In fact, his chilly reaction turned frozen when the other groomsmen voted and decided Lily and I would be married next. I laughed into the glass of bourbon I was holding. Mr. Ortiz's gift to us had been nice, bottles of bourbon and flasks. "A man's drink" He and Mr. Reynold laughed. I've never been a bourbon fan, but I sipped on a glass with a ton of ice with the other guys.

"They've only been together 4 months. Leave the boy alone." Mr. Ortiz answered for me after finishing his glass.

"I would marry her tomorrow if she'd have me." I said with grin.

That got me a lot of razzing from the guys before they moved on to the next topic. Mr. Ortiz eyed me in a way that made the grin fall from my face. It was worse than when he caught me playing with Lily's bikini top.

An hour before the wedding, we gathered to head to the ceremony. Mr. Ortiz asked to speak to me, so I stayed back.

"Are you serious about marriage?" He asked me bluntly.

I smiled. The intention talk. I was ready for that. At golf, all we talked was business and work. You could tell Mr. Ortiz was passionate about his work. Don't get me wrong, I love coding, but it's definitely not something I live for. My job, it was just a paycheck.

With Lily, I could honestly say I lived for her. Loving her, seeing her smile and making her happy: I could easily commit to that for the rest of my life.

"I meant what I said about marrying her tomorrow. I wouldn't ask because Lily would freak out." I smiled, jokingly.

Anyone who knew Lily knew her love of drama. Her dad would be more than familiar with her freak outs.

"And marriage doesn't 'freak you out'?" He asked.

"Before Lily, it did. As soon as she's ready and with your blessing, of course, I will ask her to marry me."

Mr. Ortiz kept a straight face while I smiled. "I wouldn't give you my blessing. Lily's stubborn, so she'll do what she wants anyway, but I don't see you two working out."

The smile fell of my face. It was replaced with disbelief. "Mr. Ortiz, we work together." I disagreed.

"How? Fooling around in a pool? Lying about your hotel room? Disappearing before a family event? I know my daughter. She needs someone to keep her grounded. You don't do that for her."

"With all due respect sir, you don't know what I do for her." I fumed, in anger and embarrassment at him calling us out. "She doesn't need anyone to do anything for her. She's amazing and I love her."

"Lilian is amazing. She deserves someone to motivate, take care and provide for her. A partner, not a playmate. Love doesn't conquer all. I don't doubt that you love her, but love is not enough to make a marriage work."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but it doesn't change how I feel." I told him before I left to join the others. I felt the anger growing inside of me and I had to get away before I said something I would regret.

His words weighed heavily on me. Then I saw Lily, and just looking at her took it away. Lily was with me. It didn't matter what anyone thought as long as I had her. Even though I decided not to worry, it didn't mean it was easy to be around Mr. Ortiz.

When he came to Dallas, I stayed quiet and let Lily have her time with her dad. I knew Lily was confused by my attitude, but why should I continue to try when he already made up his mind about me? I had the rest of my life to prove to Mr. Ortiz that I could give her what she needed. That's what I was going to do. It might take the rest of my life, but he would see it.

It bothered me seeing how friendly Mr. Ortiz got with Jake right away. He assumed I couldn't give her what she needed but got chummy with the guy who treated her wrong and made her feel like crap? It pissed me off.

When Lily pointed out how strange I've been acting, I let it go. I learnt how to hold in my anger and frustration when I was 10. Living with my dad was like walking in a minefield; you never knew what would set him off. Me getting upset just fueled his rage. The risks were higher now. At worst, my dad would just curse and yell. Now, I could lose Lily if I made the wrong move.

I figured I wouldn't have to worry about it much longer. Lily and her dad weren't super close. He would be back in California and we would continue on with our lives in Dallas. Then Lily got suspended from her job and she went to California. She wanted her dad to take care of her, not me. She trusted her dad to fix everything, not me. A part of me understood that. He was her dad. Another part of me wondered how I was ever going to prove myself if she ran to him and not me. How could I tell her that without sounding like, for lack of better words, a pussy?

That's why I was at the bar with Sammy, Corey, Lance, Patrick, Chris, Jordan and a few other people taking back shots of bourbon. It burned a pit in my stomach, but I keep going,


"Stop all the damn crying!"
"Go run to your momma, boy!"
"Grow the hell up!"

I keep drinking to push my dad's voice out of my head. It faded away the more I drank. Now I kept thinking about how much I messed up.

Why didn't I try harder with her dad? Why didn't I think to look up his baseball stats? Why did I tell her not to worry about her job? Why didn't I think to hire a lawyer to clear her name? What was Mr. Ortiz saying about me? What was Lily thinking?

No wonder I wasn't good enough. 

I don't know how I got home. I just knew Sammy and Corey were trying to talk me into going to sleep. I couldn't without talking to Lily. I needed to tell her I loved her. I tried to explain that to Corey and Sammy. That even though I couldn't take care of her or support her or provide for her, that I loved her. I loved her more than anything in the world and I would do whatever it took to be with her.

After I finally put the code in my phone, my phone lit up with notifications. I thought it was Lily so I checked them. It was. She added pictures on Facebook. I had always subscribed to Lily's Facebook profile. From back when she lived in California and we weren't really talking. She didn't post often, but when she did, I wanted to know: What she was doing, how she was doing, who she was doing it with.

I pulled up her Facebook and saw she didn't add the pictures. Christian did. He tagged her in them. I hurled my phone across the room.

Sammy yelped when it crashed into the mirror. The one Lily bought for my birthday. It broke with a satisfying crack.

"Are you ok?" Corey rushed over to Sammy's side.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Trevor, what the fuck?" Sammy turned on me.

"He was right. Love's not enough." I answered her.

That's the last thing I remembered before passing out on the bed.