Leaving California

"Pick up all the pieces
Fight to hold on
Put them back together
do it all for love
Never let it go
Cause I don't need a reason
Just to hold ya
Wipe all of your tears and
Look you in the eyes
Baby please don't go
But if you run away I won't be alright
Even if the sun crashes into us
I won't let go, I won't let go
And I can be your light
Stay with me tonight
I won't let go, I won't let go
Now you say you're leaving California" Leaving California by Maroon 5

I sat up immediately in my bed.

"What's wrong with Trevor? Is he ok?" I asked worriedly. A million scenarios ran through my head. None of them were good considering it was a phone call in the middle of the night.

"He's fine. We went out tonight and he got wasted." Sammy said quietly.

"Ok?" I said, my stomach twisting in knots. I knew how affectionate and touchy Trevor got when he was drunk. Was Sammy drunk too? Did something happen between them? Is that why she was calling- Why she's fucking whispering? It didn't matter how quietly she said it, I would fucking kill her!

"Why are you fucking whispering?" I snapped at her.

"Corey said he was going to talk to Trevor and thought I shouldn't say anything yet-" Sammy started.

"Ohmygod Sammy, about what?!? Talk!" I ordered her. At least I knew if Corey was involved, they didn't sleep together. I still needed to know what happened.

"Wait bitch or I'll hang up the phone." After a pause in which I took a deep breath, she continued. "I’ve never seen him that fucking wasted or upset. He kept going on about you."

My heart dropped. "What did he say?"

"He kept saying he wasn't good enough for you and he wouldn't be able to take care of you." Sammy explained.

I was stunned silent. Why would he think that?

"When Corey and I finally got him in his room, he lost it and threw his phone at his mirror. He said something about love not being enough." Sammy finished.

What the fuck was going on? I understood him being stressed and hating his job, but him being a dick, getting drunk and throwing shit? That wasn't who he was and what did he mean, love wasn't enough?

 I sighed deeply as it clicked in my head. My dad *just* said something similar. There was no way this was a coincidence. He had been acting strangely since my brother's wedding.

“But he's ok?” I asked, concerned.

“He's ok. He passed out. Corey’s going to check on him on his way to work tomorrow morning.”

“Ok Sammy. Thank you; for taking care of him and giving me a call. I'll be back tomorrow.” I said, gratefully.

“Ok, is everything ok between y'all?” Sammy asked.

“We’ll be fine.” I told her, confidently. We would be. I planned to straighten everything out Sunday.

The next afternoon, I was in my room, getting ready to go. Rocky and I spent the morning with Patty and Bianca at church.

When we got back to my dad's house, I headed straight to my room. I was packing up my clothes when my dad joined me.

“Have you thought about staying longer? You can fill out job applications here. I’m sure your brother would love to see you.” Dad asked.

“No, I should get back. My manager wants to see me. Something about some forms I have to fill out.” I said, standing in the mirror.

"Don't fill out anything without a lawyer-"

"I'll just take them to look at." I told him while pulling my hair up in a ponytail. I had to play with one of the clips on my extensions.

“I thought that was your real hair.” Dad commented.

“No, I told you Trevor likes my natural color.” I looked up at him. “What do you think of Trevor?”

“He seems like a nice boy.”

I cocked my head at him. If I didn't already suspect he said something to Trevor, I would have known by his tone and word choice that he didn't care for him. A nice boy? I knew a but was coming.

When he didn't say anything else, I goaded him.

"But?..." I said.

"I don't think he's right for you." My dad finally said.

There it is...

"Did you tell him that?" I asked, patiently.

"I did." My dad answered.

I wanted to flip out. I wanted to scream that he had no right to say anything to Trevor; he didn't know anything about us; and Trevor was perfect for me. If he couldn't see or accept that, he could go kick rocks.

I then remembered what he said about Rocky changing her expectations of her parents. I needed to do the same. Being emotional wasn't going to help. I had to stay calm.

"Remember when you asked my opinion on Jenna and I said it didn't matter because she made Cam happy?" I reminded him.

"Lily, Jenna does more than make Cam happy. She motivates him and challenges him to be the best he can be. I don't see Trevor doing that for you." My dad ignored my question.

"Dad, I don't need him to do that for me. You did it for me my entire life. It didn't make me be the best; it made me so insecure all I did was cave." I disagreed.

"Now you just rebel. I see that. You like Trevor because he just goes along with you."

He had a point there, but I was working on it.

"I love Trevor because of who he is, Dad. Maybe if you took the time to get to know him you would see that."

"Lily, you asked my opinion. There it is. I only want what's best for you." Dad said.

"I know." I said.

And I did. The only problem was he had no fucking clue what that was.

"Do you need help loading your bags?” Dad asked changing the subject.

"Just the kennel if you don't mind."

When he grabbed it and turned to leave, I stopped him. I gave him a hug.

"Thank you. For everything. I really appreciate it." I said as I hugged him.

My dad studied me for a moment "You're welcome."

I knew he was surprised by my response, but I decided to change the way I dealt with him. He wasn't going to change so I had to. I couldn't continue to act immature or he would never respect my decisions. Just like my decisions about going to Baylor, not going to medical school and moving to Dallas, I would have to show him what was best for me.

"I love you too Lily." My dad said, hugging me back.

My dad dropped us off at the airport. I called Trevor and told him we didn't need a ride from the airport as Brandon was picking us up. He sounded disappointed, but he told me to call when I got into town.

On the plane ride, I asked what Rocky planned to do regarding Brandon.

"I'm moving forward Lily. I don't know how, but I have to." Rocky stated.

"Remember what you told me after I told you about my miscarriage? You told me you have to stop looking at the past. You can't change it, but you can learn and grow from it. I think you move forward by focusing on the future. With Brandon." I replied.

"Then I guess I should take my own advice." Rocky said plainly.

When we got to Dallas, Brandon picked us up at the airport. On the drive, things felt so much better between Rocky and Brandon. Rocky gave him sincere smiles as she berated him for being late and parking at the wrong door. I smiled at them as he dropped me off at my apartment.

"I'm sorry about your job Lily. Let us know if you need anything. Character witness, alibi, you know Target is always hiring..." Brandon added, playfully.

"Hush Brandon." Rocky smiled at him.

"I'll keep that in mind." I laughed.

I didn't even go inside my apartment; I got in my car and headed straight to Trevor's apartment. I didn't call; I wanted to speak to him in person. I let myself and Justine in. I heard the shower running and set Justine up with some water and food before going into the bathroom. When I pulled back the shower curtain, Trevor looked at me in surprise, before giving me a small smile.
“Hey Beautiful.”

“Hey Boozy.” I said, crossing my arms.

“Who snitched?" Trevor asked, jokingly.

I smirked. “Sammy. Corey was loyal to you. So I guess that means you get him in a break up.”

Trevor looked down. “Are we breaking up?”

“Never… but we do need to talk.” I told him.

"Ok-" Trevor said, reaching to turn off the shower. I stopped him.

"Can I join you?" I asked.

"Please." He answered. I stripped off my clothes and he moved over to let me in. I wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me close.

Trevor pressed his mouth into mine. I returned his kisses as he kissed me, over and over again until the stream of warm water turned cool. Trevor turned the water off and led me out of the bathroom and to his bed.

"We need to talk." I repeated, when he laid my still wet body on the bed.

"Afterwards." Trevor promised before lying on top of me.

His lips stayed glued on mine the whole time he pumped into me. Our love making was slow and thorough. The only time our lips broke apart was when we came, moaning against each other's.

The wet sheets and the ceiling fan made me shiver when Trevor rolled off of me. He quickly covered us with a blanket and I snuggled against him.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, rubbing my shoulder.

"Are you stalling?" I smiled at him.

"No, I'm just trying to feed you. We can do both."

"Ok." I agreed. I pulled on shorts and a t-shirt and we went to the kitchen. Trevor went shopping and had the ingredients to make his specialty: sandwiches.

I sat on the counter and watched him lay bacon on a pan.

"So what did my dad say to you?" I asked, munching on chips.

He tensed up automatically. "He told you?"

"Yeah, but I want to hear it from you."

Trevor looked up at me. "He said he didn't think we would work out. That I didn't take care of or provide for you. His exact words were that I was a playmate, not a partner"

I winced. Fuck Dad!

"Do you believe that?" I asked him, putting down the chips.

He turned away to turn the stove on. "I don't know Lily. Obviously your dad sees something I can't."

"No. Why would you say that?" I denied.

"Because you left. You didn't turn to me." Trevor said, focusing on the stove.

"Trevor, you were my first call. Going to California was a knee jerk reaction. My dad always handled everything growing up. At Baylor, I turned that dependency on my brother. When I moved to Dallas, it was you, Rocky sometimes Sammy. After I got my own place, I tried to depend on myself. When I got suspended, I just wanted to not deal with it, so I wanted to go home. That doesn't mean I don't see you as my partner." I explained.

Trevor nodded. "Ok."

I waited for him to speak, but he said nothing.

"Trevor, what's going on with you?" I asked.

"I was upset about what your dad said and drank too much.." He said, sliding the bacon onto a plate.

"I know, but that's not you and I warned you about my dad."

"It's just been a long time since someone disliked me for no reason." He smiled weakly at me.

"My dad doesn't know you to dislike you. He could have handpicked a guy for me and would find something wrong with him. That's just how he is. I finally had to accept that about him." I sighed, "I'm not asking you to but-"

"I accept it. I just... want to be enough for you." He admitted.

"You're everything I want Trevor. My dad doesn't know me well enough to know that. I'm planning a lifetime with you; he'll come around."

Trevor smiled at me. "Sounds like a plan." He then went to work assembling the sandwiches.

When he was finished, Trevor brought me a turkey club. He gave me a long kiss before feeding me.

I smiled after I chewed. "So good. Thank you baby. You always take care of me."

Trevor gave me a lopsided grin. "I think your dad was talking about financially."

"I don't need anyone to take care of me financially." I protested.

When Trevor raised an eyebrow, I blushed. "Normally, when I have a job." I frowned. "Is that what you think? You can't afford me?"

"No. You make more money than me. Normally." Trevor smiled. "Your dad does still send you money."

"Not all the time!" I flushed. "My dad wanted me to go to med school so I can support myself. He didn't mean it like that."

"I think he did. I'm never going to be like your brother who wants to move up in management." Trevor argued.

"I'm not asking you to. I want you to be happy at your job, whatever you want to do Trevor." I told him.

"I'm still trying to figure that out." Trevor said.

I gave him a kiss. "You and me both."

After we ate, we went back to his room. I noticed the huge crack in his mirror.

"So what did the mirror do to you?" I smirked at him.

"Nothing. It was my phone."

I gave him a questioning look.

"I saw Christian tagged you in some pictures last night-"

"I didn't go out with him!" I blurted.

"I know. I didn't even look at the pictures before I threw it."

I nodded and we hopped back in bed.

"Can I ask you something?" I questioned.

"Of course."

"Why aren't you friends with Christian anymore?" I asked.

"Lily, it was a long time ago."

"But it affects now. I don't know if I should just cut him off or not. I'm trying to understand."

Trevor sighed. "Remember Brooke?"

Unfortunately. She was the girl he consistently fooled around with in college.

"I'm going to guess by your face you remember. He told her I was dating you the same time I was with her."

I frowned up. "That's sooo offensive? It wasn't like she was your girlfriend. He thought we were dating. He asked me; probably because you told him not to date me. "

"He knew we weren't dating. He did it to sleep with her." Trevor said.

I thought about it. "I don't know Trevor.  Brooke wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but if someone told me you cheated on me, I wouldn't sleep with them. I would confront you. That doesn't seem like a reason to cut him off."

"I just don't trust him." Trevor said.

"Ok. Well can you trust me? He invited us to meet him and his girlfriend the next time we're all in town. I think he's being sincere."

"Ok." Trevor agreed. I smiled and gave him a kiss.

"I love this Trevor. We should have talks like this more often. Like once a week state of the union chats."

"Once a week? Aren't those annual?"

"We can gradually decline them the less we need them. We don't need any more broken mirror..." I teased him.

"You're one to talk, remember your drunken lap dance? You threw a box at me too!"

"That was before we got together." I laughed.

"Doesn't make a difference."

He then asked me about my job. I told him I had a meeting with Sandra Wednesday to discuss my benefits and pay, but after that, I had no idea what I was doing.

"Maybe you should meet with a lawyer before that. Just so you have an idea what to expect."

"I didn't wanna get a lawyer involved unless my license was in jeopardy."

"I thought you said an accusation like this does threaten your license."

"But it's like you said, they're not going to find anything."

"I know, rather be safe than sorry, right?"

"I'll look into it Monday." I promised.

We spent the rest of the Sunday being lazy and lounging in bed, relaxing and watching TV. Sammy called and I chatted with her briefly, telling her Trevor and I were ok before Trevor hushed me. He was working on making another how to video on coding while he worked on Kenji's site. I told Sammy I would call her back and paid attention.

One long hour later, my phone rang again. It was Rocky, and I debated answering it.

"Out Lily!" Trevor commanded me.

"I'm gone." I laughed, hopping from the bed. When I was safely out the room, I answered.

"Hello?" I said, with a smile.

"He's gone." I could barely understand her over the phone.

"Huh? What? Who's gone?" I said, confused.

"Brandon. He left."