Dance Me to the End of Love

"Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love" Dance Me to the End of Love by Leonard Cohen

"Lily, you might be jumping to conclusions..." Trevor suggested to me.

"No. I'm not! She called it an arrangement, not relationship. She's lying about what's she doing, she was at his house. You told me about the money. She has all these new clothes and bags and designer shit. She's sleeping with him for money!" I exclaimed to Trevor, as we drove from Wichita Falls Saturday afternoon back to Dallas.

Sammy wasn't home when I came home from work Friday, and she had been successfully dodging my phone calls and texts. I even tried to call from Trevor's phone with no avail. I debated not telling anyone what I knew until I talked to her, but her avoiding me made me not care about her feelings anymore. I just confessed to Trevor what I knew.

"Maybe he's her sugar daddy..." Trevor suggested.

"That's not funny." I said, glaring at him.

"I'm not laughing. There are dating sites dedicated to it." Trevor answered.

"So that makes it ok?" I asked, annoyed by his nonchalant attitude.

"No. It makes it her business." Trevor corrected me.

"She knows she is wrong. That's why she's avoiding me." I countered.

"Or maybe she's pissed at you for following her like a stalker?"

"I did what needed to be done." I said, convinced.

"No. If she's sleeping with him-"

"For money!" I interjected.

"For whatever reason, it's her life." Trevor finished.

I turned up the music, ending the conversation. He just smiled at me.

My feelings nor my game plan haven't changed. It is her life, but I was not gonna sit back and watch her fuck it up.

---------------

"Think we have enough freaking flowers?" I asked Trevor, after we carted in all the flowers from Trevor's car into my brother's apartment. The flowers were in shades of red, pink and white. They were done tastefully, so they looked gorgeous without being super cheesy.

"Just enough. Why? Think we should do rose petals? My mom threw in some of those too."

"She should have thrown in the steak dinner for the price." I muttered, rearranging the biggest bouquet of roses on the table facing the door.

"Hey! My mom gave your brother a huge discount." Trevor laughed, as he spread out the other arrangements around the living room.

"Which was blown on gas to get there." I pointed out. His mother lived in Wichita Falls, about a 2 hour drive from Dallas. She was a florist at a shop that catered to weddings.

"Yeah, but she had everything we needed."

"They have roses at Wal-Mart."

"Wal-Mart doesn't have hydrangeas that mean understanding or cosmos that mean peace. Which all tie into your brother's proposal."

"Oh yeah. What do the candles symbolize?" I joked, hitting him with one.

"Fire. Passion. Bow chicka wow wow!" Trevor answered, wiggling his eyebrows and taking the candle from me.

I laughed out loud. "Eww. That's my brother!"

"Think about Jenna. That's what I'm doing." Trevor laughed.

"I'm telling Cam." I threatened, watching as he spread rose petals on the floor. Definitely cheesy, but I guess it was ok. It was a proposal. Cam would only be doing this once. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.

"Has he changed his plans as far as the proposal?"

"Nope. Still traditional, down on one knee. I made him practice on me the other day." Trevor replied.

I laughed.

Trevor stepped back to admire our work. He looked at me. "What do you think?"

"Not how I would do it," I shrugged. "but it's perfect. Exactly what Cam wanted."

"You would ask a guy to marry you?" He grinned at me.

"No... If I was a dude, I would make more of a production out the proposal, not the decorations."

"For example?"

"Like... a puppy with a ring around the collar. With a note attached saying 'Let's be a family'"

"That's cute, but not a production. I would get all our friends and family involved. Tell her I'm dying..." Trevor started.

I gasped at him. "Trevor No!"

"Then I'd be waiting at the hospital, with a ring and would be like 'just kidding, wanna spend the rest of our lives together?'."

"It would be the shortest engagement ever if it was me. I would say yes, get the ring, then kill you!" I commented.

"It would be a yes though, right?" Trevor laughed. I laughed with him.

Trevor and my phone beeped, cutting off our laughter. It was Cam. They were finally on their way back from dinner. Trevor and I grinned at each other before hopping into action. Trevor lit the candles while I set the music. I put Ed Sheeran's "Thinking out Loud". Cam didn't request it, but I thought it was romantic and sweet and a perfect fit for them.

I assessed the place while Trevor finished lighting the candles. Tears welled up in my eyes. It really was amazing. I was terrified when Cam entrusted us with sitting up the apartment, but Trevor agreed right away. He took the lead and everything looked beautiful. I really didn't know he had it in him. Then again, I had never really seen his romantic side. I was pleasantly surprised.

"C'mon. Let's get outta here. Your crying is going to ruin the mood." Trevor teased me.

"I'm not crying! I'm allergic to the flowers. Love, peace and understanding my ass." I said, following him out the apartment.



I texted my brother that the coast was clear and wished him good luck. As we drove to my apartment, our adrenalines were still high, or more like his adrenaline. I think I was full with nerves for Cam. I couldn't imagine Jenna saying no, but I was still excited and nervous for them.

"What do you wanna do?" Trevor asked me.

"I don't know. Wanna hang at my apartment? Dance off some energy?" I asked.

And wait for Sammy to make an appearance...

"Yeah. Call Rocky and Amber too. I have something I've been wanting to try. I gotta stop by my apartment first."

"Ok." I smiled. I pulled out my phone and texted them and Rachel too.

Me: Hey ladies! Wanna play Dance Central at my house?

Amber texted me back first.

Amber: Yes! I just bought Just Dance. Up to four people can play. I challenge both of you!

Me: Bring it!

Rocky didn't text until Trevor had made it back to the car, carrying what looked like green sheets and his laptop.

Rocky: Sure! Brandon closes tonight. I did have plans with my bath tub, but I guess I can hang with y'all instead.

Me: Thanks Rocky for fitting us in!

I made Trevor stop by Wal-Mart to get snacks, beer and wine. I just got snack foods that needed to be heated and a bucket of ranch chicken wings. I had the taste for them recently.

I was home, changed into yoga pants and a muscle tank, and setting out the food when Rachel texted me back.

Rachel: Forrest is watching college football with friends. I'll call if he wants to come when it's over.

I texted her back.

Me: I just invited you lol. Even if he doesn't, you come!

I was serious about not inviting Forrest. I really wanted Rachel and me to be friends without him. I already invited Lamar and Patrick just so we can have some testosterone and to see if they knew what was up with Sammy. I put my phone back down and grabbed a jalapeno popper before heading into the den.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, between bites. He had the green blanket hanging from the ceiling and one on the floor. His digital camera was set on the Xbox.

"Making a green screen." He answered.

"Why?" I said, confused.

"Watch. Do a song." He smiled.

I did, stepping on his makeshift green screen. He turned on the camcorder and I danced to Rihanna's "Rude Boy."

Afterwards, Trevor got on his laptop. He connected it to the Xbox, while uploading the video of me dancing to the laptop. There was a knock on the door, so I went answer it.

"Amber!!!" I cheered, giving her a hug.

"Hey you! I brought cupcakes." She said, following me into the kitchen.

"Where are your kiddos?" I asked her as we dropped off the cupcakes.

"Will didn't want to come, so they stayed with him." Amber answered.

"Awww. I'm sorry they didn't come."

"I'm not. I need a break." Amber laughed.

Lamar and Patrick arrived next and I greeted them before leading them to the kitchen. They brought a bottle of wine. By the time we grabbed some food, Trevor was done with the video. He imposed the video of me dancing onto the game play video. It looked like I was dancing on the game with the character. It was so awesome!!!

"Ohmygod Trevor! That looks so cool! I can't believe you did that!" I smiled as I watched the video.

"Believe it." Trevor smiled.

"Me next!" Amber declared.

She switched out the game to Just Dance. She danced to Katy Perry's "Dark Horse" with Patrick. They looked great, especially Amber. She knew all the moves and she looked like she had lost weight.

"Amber, are you losing weight?" I asked her when she finished.

"I hope so." She breathed, smiling.

Rocky called and said she was outside. I went to go let her in.

"Hey girl." She said, as I gave her a hug. "Who did your hair?" She asked.

"Trevor." I smiled. "I need to update my Facebook. Make sure we take pics!"

After she got a plate of food, I checked my phone. Still no word from Rachel. I posted the video Trevor made of me dancing. I tagged her in it and added the caption.

Rematch Rachel? We never had that tie breaker. Don't come over if you're scared...

By the time everyone had food and drinks, Rachel finally texted me.

Rachel: On my way!

I smiled and got up and danced with Amber and Rocky to "Bang Bang" by Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj. Amber beat us, with me coming in second, and Rocky last.

"Guess that makes me Jessie J." Amber taunted us.

"Whatever. I wanted to be Nicki anyway." I told her.

Rocky scoffed. "If anyone is Nicki, it's me."

"And why is that, Mrs. last place?" I smirked at her.

"I was looking at the wrong person!!! And I'm black."

"So? That don't make you Nicki. She's from some island anyway. Like part of me." I debated her. Everyone laughed at that.

"What's wrong with Ariana? She's cute." Lamar asked.

"And legal. 21. I checked." Trevor added.

"Whatever. The fact that you had to check her age lets me know you think she looks too young and innocent-" I said.

"Just like you!" Rocky butted in.

"Fuck you. Am not." I denied.

"Only one way to solve this. Twerk off!?!" Patrick laughed.

"I'm down! Let's go!" I challenged Rocky.

"Don't embarrass yourself." Rocky warned me.

"I'll be in good company. It must have been embarrassing to come in last place." I said, sarcastically. I heard a knock on the door over all the owwws and laughter.

"You better walk away." Rocky finished, as I went to answer the door.

"Anytime, anyplace bitch." I said, with a teasing smile. When I saw it was Rachel at the door, I gave her a huge hug and let her in. She looked super cute in skinny jeans and a pretty top.

I got her a glass of wine before we made our way to the den.

"Everyone, this is Rachel. I think you've met everyone but Lamar and Patrick." I reintroduced her. Lamar and Patrick waved before turning their attention back on the game. They were dancing to "Best Song Ever" by One Direction with Trevor. Trevor looked so cute trying to keep up. He noticed me smiling at him.

"Shut it Lily." He smiled.

"I didn't say anything!" I laughed. I caught up with Rachel while watching Trevor out the corner of my eye. Every time our eyes met, we smiled at one another.

When the guys finished, (Patrick won, Trevor was last) Rachel, Amber, Rocky and I danced to Becky G's "Built for This". It was a sexy song, with a slower beat, so I tried to concentrate on grinding to it. It was impossible as I noticed Trevor watching my every move with a little smile on his face. His blue eyes took on a different hue and it was distracting the hell out of me. I couldn't help wonder what he was thinking. It was driving me crazy.

Unfortunately, I came in dead last. Amber crushed us, with Rachel coming in second and Rocky third.

"What happened?" Rachel smiled at me.

"I've been dancing. I'm tired." I lied, sitting next to Trevor on the couch.

Rachel laughed. "Ok. Get some rest then we'll have a rematch."

"Do you need a drink?" Trevor asked me, his eyes still darkened.

"Yeah, please." I answered. He got up and retrieved me an apple cider beer. He had a Budlight Platinum for himself. While we drank, I noticed his eyes returned back to his normal shade. I felt a pang of disappointment...

We laughed and chatted as we took turns dancing. I didn't get any information from Patrick and Lamar about Sammy. They thought she was working at Dave and Buster's still. I gave Trevor a knowing look. He pretended he didn't notice. Eventually, we paired up for duets.

"Trevor, Lily, y'all are paired up together for a slow song. Since y'all are the weakest link." Rocky teased us.

"Ohhhh, the weakest link. That's so clever."  I taunted back.

"Screw you!" Rocky laughed.

We stood up together and picked "Only You (and You Alone)" by The Platters.

"Alright Trevor. I need you to step it up or you will be the weakest link. Goodbye." I instructed Trevor.

"So fresh. And original. I've never heard that before." Trevor added as we laughed.

The song was an easy, super slow duet. At first we were laughing at our missteps, but by the time the chorus came back around with repetitive moves, I had it down. Trevor allowed me to lead as we mirrored the moves. We stayed in sync for the most part. The only time we were off was when we got caught watching each other, but I always broke eye contact and focused back on the game.

At the end, we had a respectable score. Amber and Patrick won, with Rachel and I coming in second (individually I beat her), then me and Trevor followed by Rocky and Lamar. It was getting late, so Amber left to get home to her family. Rocky offered to help me clean, but I declined, sending her, Rachel, Lamar and Patrick home with leftovers. Clean up was easy after that. I just threw everything in the dishwasher and made a trip to the dumpster.

After I came back and washed my hands, I joined Trevor in the den. He was playing on the laptop.

I watched him. He was working on the dance videos. He just finished the one of all the girls dancing together. I studied his face, his eyes, his lips, and his hands as he worked silently. I knew he knew I was watching him, but he didn't acknowledge me. This was the first time ever that I didn't know how I felt about Trevor and it bothered me. I didn't know if I should open myself up to having feelings for him.

I yawned. That was enough to snap me out of it. It was late. No decisions needed to be made tonight.

"Are you going to stay the night?" I asked him.

"Do you want me to?" He asked, looking up at me.

"Doesn't matter," I shrugged. "but I'm going to sleep. You know where my bed or the door is." I said standing up.

I left him on the couch as I retired to bed. I changed into a sleep shirt and got under the covers. I was drifting asleep when I heard the door open. Moments later, I felt a dip in the bed next to me. I smiled, before scooting over to one side to give him space and taking my covers. That's how we always slept together. The middle of the bed and a blanket separating us.

This time, Trevor got under the covers too and moved in close to cuddle with me. I was surprised, but comfortable in his embrace. I fell asleep in no time.

I woke up the next morning to the sound of his snores and his breath on my neck. He still was holding me tight like he was when I fell asleep. I stretched carefully to not disturb him. I froze when I felt his hardness poking me against my butt. I took a deep breath and tried to relax myself. It was a guy thing. Morning wood was normal. I repeated it to myself over and over, but I couldn't get over the fact that it was Trevor. He had a hard on! I couldn't help wonder if it was for me...

I looked over to see that he was still asleep. It had been about a month since I had sex. Definitely not the longest I've gone without, and I'm no stranger to taking care of myself, but my hips had a mind of their own because they started grinding against him. It relieved and added tension that I didn't even realized was building up inside me. I closed my eyes and moved a little harder against him.

"Lily..." He said, raspily.

I froze again. Fuck! Maybe he was still sleep...

"Yeah?" I whispered, softly.

"Until me spending the night matters to you, stop." He said strained.

I turned around, my face flushed with embarrassment of being caught.

"Ok." I said, "Sorry."

He opened his eyes and looked at me. His eyes were the same color they changed when he was watching me dance. How long had he looked at me like that? How could I not have seen it before...

"Trevor?" I started.

"Hmm?" He asked, staring at me.

"Lily, I need to talk to you-" I sat up when I heard Sammy's voice.

Her eyes darted from me to Trevor before she turned around and walked out of my room.