Thursday, January 8, 2015

This is The New Year

"Another year you made a promise
Another chance to turn it all around
And do not save this for tomorrow
Embrace the past and you can live for now...
A million suns that shine upon me
A million eyes you are the brightest blue
Let's tear the walls down that divide us
And build a statue strong enough for two
I pass it back to you
And I will wait for you
And I would give the world to you...
This is the new year
A new beginning
You made a promise
You are the brightest
We are the voices
This is the new year" This is The New Year by A Great Big World

"So what's your diagnosis doc?" Bilal asked me Saturday night at a laundromat as we ate, waiting for our clothes to dry.

"Still has a normal temperature with no medicine, so the fever is broken." I informed him. "He doesn't have a cough anymore, his throat is still a little sore, but not swollen or red. We'll see how he feels in the morning, but I think he's recovered."

We left Trevor at the apartment sleeping. I napped with him during the day so I was wide awake. I started to clean up the apartment a little while Bilal was at work. It was the least I could do for him sticking around the apartment, bringing me food and letting me borrow clothes. I started with the kitchen. I wanted to wash some clothes, but I couldn't get the water to start in the washer. When Bilal got home from work, he informed me the washer was broken but he never got around to getting it repaired.

As we drove to the laundromat, I complained, asking him what adult had a non-working washing machine in his apartment. Then I called him a man-child. When we got to to this cool laundromat/bar and grill hybrid, I shut up.

We drank Texas microbrews, I ate ol army fries, which were fries topped with gravy, cheese, chorizo, and jalapeƱos and Bilal ate a chicken sandwich.

"What do you think?" Bilal asked of the laundromat as we ate.

"I should have took the money I spent on my washer and dryer to invest in getting one in Dallas." I replied, dipping a fry in gravy.

Bilal laughed. "Trevor said the same thing. Well, he turned it into a franchising, get rich quick scheme. He tried to convince me to use my inheritance on it."

"I completely agree! Why didn't you?" I asked, facetiously.

"Sounded like too much work for a man child." He taunted me.

I laughed at him and he looked thoughtful for a moment.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, as we finished eating and checked on the clothes.

He didn't respond as we pulled the clothes from the dryer. "Ever feel... old?"

"No, but I've been called immature and emotionally stunted before." I joked, as we folded.

He smiled. "Noorie is always asking me about things I feel like are in the future. She kinda makes me feel like a man child." He chuckled. "Maybe I am. I refuse to get my washing machine fixed because I love hanging out at a laundromat bar tailored to college kids."

"I would hang out here too and I'm older than you. Stop it." I smiled. "But what kinda things does she ask about?"

"Like if I want to get married, if I want kids, how I would raise my kids. Are we already at that age? She says she doesn't want that right now, but wants to make sure we agree."

"That makes sense. I wouldn't want to fall in love with someone and find out there like... really anal." I threw out there.

Bilal smiled. "What?"

"I couldn't think of another deal breaker. Religion, politics, kids, not deal breakers to me." I smiled.

"But anal?

"Yeah, like really stuck in their ways? Uncompromising? No deal!"

Bilal laughed. "I don't know. I guess it makes me nervous cause Rocky asked the same things, when I didn't have the right answers, she dumped me. I'm not going to change for anyone."

"First of all, don't bring any drama from past relationships into a new relationship. That always ends badly." I said, shaking my head. "Rocky wasn't trying to change you. She wanted to know if you saw a future with her after college."

"What?"

"Yeah."

He shook his head. "She was always talking about our careers and what she wanted to do. The only thing I knew for sure back then was that I wanted to play music"

"Exactly. That's the only thing you knew for sure. Bilal, she could do her job anywhere. She was willing to go with you anywhere if you saw a future with her. She wanted you to commit to a plan so she could commit to you." I explained.

Bilal looked shocked. "She never told me that."

"Because y'all communicated so well." I said, sarcastically as we finished the clothes. "It's hard for me too, just being open about my feelings. It's terrifying to be vulnerable. That should tell you how much Noorie cares about you."

He nodded but didn't say anything. We packed the clothes in laundry bags and headed out. On the way out, a guy in a UT shirt held the door open for us.

"Hey... what are you up to tonight?" He nodded at me. He was cute, with a baby face, shaggy brown locks and pale blue eyes.

"Sleep." I said shortly, walking past him.

"Aw, Lily. You could have gotten us into a kegger." Bilal said.

"I don't feel old, but I'm way too old for that."



We got back to Bilal's apartment, and I went to Trevor's room. I turned on the closet light and put the clothes away quickly. I then checked on Trevor. He was sleeping. I still slept in the chair next to him, holding his hand.

Trevor's phone ringing woke me up from my sleep. I looked over at it. It was Kenji. I silenced it and tried to go back to sleep. It rang again. I looked at it and it was Cat. I ignored the call, hoping they would get the hint. When it rang again, I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Is Trevor available?" A male voice asked. Had to be Kenji.

"He's not. Can I take a message?"

"I've tried messages and emails. I really need to speak with him."

"Like I said, he can't come to the phone right now. He will call you back." I repeated.

"Whatever he is doing, this is important; his career I'm talking about. Tell him Kenji needs to speak to him immediately." He said.

Maybe it was the middle of the night call, or his pretentious, self important tone, but I perceived that as a threat towards Trevor and his future. I didn't fucking like it, so I reacted as such.

"Kenji, I said he's unavailable. If Trevor doesn't have sick days or personal time, dock his pay until he calls you back. I don't know what else to tell you but goodbye." I said, smartly.

"It's best we don't have a contract as far as payment. I'm seeing he is not as dedicated as I thought." Kenji said, just as smartly.

That really pissed me off. Kenji didn't even know what was going on, but he questioned Trevor's dedication? After he was working with no promise of compensation? Fuck his book, site and him!

"Trevor worked himself until he was literally sick! So correction, there is something else I can tell you. He'll call back when you have a contract to discuss. Good night." I said, hanging up the phone and turning it on silent.



The next time I woke up, it was to movement by my legs. I opened my eyes and saw Trevor sitting on the end of the ottoman.

"Hey sleepy head." He smiled, rubbing my legs through the covers.

"You should talk." I studied his face. He looked so much better. His skin was a little pale, but much better than the flush red tone the fever caused. He looked more alert; his blue eyes were dazzling in the morning light.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him, stretching.

"Hungry." He answered. I laughed.

"I bet. You've been on a liquid diet for the past 3 days. What do you have a taste for?"

"Peach cobbler."

"Cobbler?" I asked.

"Yeah, my granny always makes it for New Year's day. It's tradition." He explained. "But I can eat anything right now."

"What else is tradition?"

"Fish for wisdom. Cabbage for fortune. Hoppin John for luck."

"Hoppin John? What's that? I thought it was black eyed peas for luck."

"Hoppin John is black eyed peas and rice. It's a southern thing."

"Sometimes I forget how country you are." I shook my head.

"You know you like it." He grinned.

"I do." I smiled back at him. "If you feel up to it, we can go to the store. I'm sure it won't be as good; I mean, it's not your granny's recipe nor are we gonna hunt for any meat, but we can make a New Year's dinner. Celebrate late?" I asked.

Trevor laughed. "That's sounds great. Let me email Kenji, take a shower and we'll go. If you need a shower too I don't mind sharing..."

"Another dream of yours?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

He blushed bright red. "I was hoping that was a bad dream."

"No." I started. "We need to talk."

"About what I said-"

"No. I mean yes, we do need to talk about that, but later. I need to talk to you before you email Kenji."

I told him word for word my conversation with Kenji.

"Lily..." He sighed.

"Trevor... Why would you be doing all this work without some type of agreement? Even a prostitute gets the money up front."

"There is no money until ad space or the website is sold. The website is not even relaunched yet." Trevor explained.

"He's planning to do that around his book release right? To promote himself? And selling the site has come up. You should have some type of agreement in an email at least." I argued.

He stood up. "Don't worry about it, ok?"

I debated whether I should press it, but it was his business. I said my opinion. I planned to talk to my brother about it though...

I nodded.

"Are you gonna change outta Bilal's clothes?"

"Why?"

"It's weird." He said.

I just laughed at him as he left to take a shower. I looked up recipes for hoppin John's and peach cobbler. Afterwards, I changed into a pair of Trevor's sweat pants and t-shirt he set out for me. I pulled my boots over the sweat pants, took Trevor's phone and went to the living room. I called his mom.

"Hi Mrs. Tobin. How are you?" I greeted her when she answered.

"Hey Lily. How's Trevor?" She asked. I texted her and let her know he was sick when she texted him Happy New Year.

"He's so much better. Fever is gone, appetite is back. That's why I'm calling. He has a taste for his grandma's cobbler. I don't expect you to give me family recipes, but if you can tell me if the recipe I have is close, I would appreciate it."

"Lily, it's no family secret. It's pie crust and canned peaches." Mrs. Tobin laughed. She explained to me how to season and sweeten the canned peaches, cut, layer, and smother the store bought pie crust with butter and cinnamon, and how long to bake it. I asked about her hoppin John's, and her instructions were similar to the recipe I found.

"Thank you for taking care of him. I'm so glad he has a friend like you." Trevor's mom said. I smiled, flattered.

I was wishing her a happy New Year when Trevor came out. I handed the phone over to him so he could talk to her. I finished my grocery list while he talked to his mom.

When he got off the phone, we headed to the store. I got looks in my boots with sweat pants, but Trevor enjoyed seeing me in his clothes, so I went with it. We had a great time, just shopping together. He was starving, so everything looked good to him. It was a huge relief being able to joke and laugh with him. We held hands or his arm stayed around my waist or shoulder the whole time. I was so glad to see he was healthy and everything was back to normal.

Or, at least, our normal.

We went home and got to work. I started on cooking while Trevor ate a kolache we picked up on the way home. I started the cobbler first since it had a long bake time. While it was in the oven, I started the macaroni and cheese. I made it so if Noorie joined us, she would have a pasta option.

I cooked the rice and black eyed peas for the hoppin John's and started preparing the fish to go in the oven. Trevor wanted it fried, I wanted it to be healthier, so we met halfway and did Parmesan crusted oven fried tilapia. Trevor helped out cutting the veggies for the hoppin John's. When the clobber was done, I pulled it out the oven and put the fish and macaroni in. I instructed Trevor as he sauteed onions, bell pepper and garlic before adding the beans and rice while I cooked the cabbage.

We talked about the New Year's Eve party. I told him about the chocolate fountain and the fact that Rocky was watching Justine.

"I can't wait to get back. I feel like she's getting too attached. She was posting pictures on Instagram and she texted me how much Justine loves her backyard."

"Maybe I should get her a dog on her birthday." Trevor said.

"No, that means you want to have sex with her!" I smiled. I explained to him Sammy's reasoning.

"Did it work?" Trevor grinned.

"No comment." I smirked.

Bilal finally emerged from his bedroom.

"Hey, we're having a belated southern New Year dinner. It's mostly vegetarian friendly, if you want to invite Noorie." I invited him.

"I'm actually on my way to hang out with her." He pushed his sunglasses on the top of his head. "How you feeling Trevor? Looking nice and domesticated and feminine. Guess the medicine Lily gave you helped." He teased.

I sent him an evil glare.

"Don't be mad you're gonna be stuck eating tofu and lettuce. We'll save you some real food." Trevor laughed.

"How sensitive of you. Must be a side effect of all the Midol Lily gave you."

Trevor gave me a horrified look. "You gave me period medicine!?!" He exclaimed.

Bilal cracked up laughing.

"I gave you Acetaminophen." I responded.

"Midol..." Bilal sang.

"W..why?!?" Trevor sputtered, confused.

"You had a fever, we didn't know for how long, and that's all we had. It's not a big deal, you had two pills. You're not going to grow boobs. Calm down." I said, pulling the fish out.

"When you do grow boobs, can I play with them?" Bilal joked.

"Shut up Bilal!" Trevor and I exclaimed at the same time.

"Aww, already finishing each other sentences." Bilal just laughed at us. "I'm out. Y'all enjoy. Have fun ladies."

Trevor shook his head as Bilal left.

"Are you really mad at me?" I asked, as I pulled out plates.

"It depends... were you punishing me?" He grinned.

I winced and the smile fell off his face.

"Not like that Lily." Trevor said, quickly.

"I know. Let's eat." I suggested.

We ate, but the whole time I was distracted, thinking about what I was going to say to Trevor. I did snap out of it long enough to be disgusted by Trevor drowning his fish in ketchup, but it made me smile. Predictable Trevor. We cleaned up together and then we sat down with bowls of cobbler topped with ice cream.

"This is incredible Lily. I'm not going to have to go home for cobbler anymore. This would make granny proud."

I smirked to myself. She would be anything but proud if she found out his mom gave me her recipe...

"I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"Lily..." He said, sitting down his bowl after we finished. "That punishing me comment didn't mean anything. "

"Trevor, it did mean something, that's why you said it. Sick or not." I sighed.

"I know how I feel about you, and how it felt to see you with Jake and Ethan. It sucked. You went through 4 years of that. A part of me feels like I deserve it cause I put you through it. You know I'm willing to wait until you're ready."

"I know. Just like you should know I wouldn't intentionally lead you on. I see that's what I was doing, and I'm sorry. I just keep waiting to know without a doubt. I felt that same way about getting back together with Jake; That I would just know.
I think about how much we would fuck up this friendship if we try a relationship and fail. I just wanna be 100% sure about us before I take that risk. I'm starting to see I never will be. When you didn't show up New Year's Eve, my first thought was that you were standing me up. That you were upset with me or that you had better options-" I explained.

"Lily-" he stated.

"Let me finish." I stopped him. "The more I thought about it, I realized that I know you. You're my best friend. I know you would never deliberately hurt me like that. That's how I knew something was wrong. I'm never going to be 100% sure about us. I don't think you can be that sure about anything, but I'm sure about you. There's no one I would rather try with Trevor."

Trevor stared at me for a moment, processing my words. "What are you saying Lily?"

"You told me you can love me however I want you to: as a friend or more. I want both. I never want our friendship to change. So I'm saying I want our friendship and I want to be with you, if you still want to-"

He didn't let me finish my sentence. He pressed his lips against mine and I lost all train of thought. I smiled against the sweet warmth of his lips and kissed him back. I brought my hand up, the one wearing the bracelet he gave me, and stroked his face.

I have no idea what the New Year will bring me. Hopefully lots of luck, fortune, and wisdom. But I was ready for anything as long as Trevor was on my side. I knew as long as I had him, I would have an infinite amount of love.


Hey Everyone! It's a little late, but Happy New Year! Wishing everyone luck, fortune, wisdom and love! Thank you for reading and commenting. I say it a lot, but you all keep me consistent in posting. I appreciate everyone of you!

I've been thinking about taking a break for awhile and I feel like this is the best stopping point. One of my goals is to go back and edit older posts. I got an email and I would hate to lose anymore readers because of the frequent editing errors, especially in the beginning of the blog. I also want to work on the character guide and new story lines for the new couple in the new year.

So there will be no new post next week. Feel free to comment songs you would like to see used as inspiration in the new year!




17 comments:

Beautiful Disaster said...

Oh I am going to miss you! I love the story so much I don't even notice any editing errors! Happy New Year and thank you for such a great story!

Anonymous said...

What an amazing post! I wasn't even "Pro-Trevor" but I think I might just be after that!!!
Enjoy the break and don't worry about any editing errors, I don't think many of us notice... this is a hobby for you, so you owe us nothing!!!
In terms of insirpation for the new year. Its funny, as I read this post all I could think of was a song that was sung at my wedding a 18 months ago, when I married my best friend. Bruce Springsteen's "When you need me"... it reminds me of Lily and Trevor
If you miss me, I'll be there
To brush the sunlight from your hair
I'll be there to guide you when trouble walks beside you
If you need me I'll be there
And when this dirty world has been cold to you
I got two strong arms waitin' to hold you
And when those mean days come along
We'll stand together and we'll take 'em on
So if you need me just call my name

Unknown said...

What an amazing post! Thank god they are finally together!! cant wait to hear more when you are back!

Headkels0h said...

Oh my GAW! I am soooooooooo happy they are officially together now!!!!!!!!! That was such a sweet way to do it, and I am glad Lily just WENT for it! It's not easy to put it out there like she did, so I am so proud of her Character!

I am going to miss your posts next week!! I love your blog. If someone wants to not read because there was a misspelling or a typo every once in awhile... well, it's quite frankly their loss. You're awesome!! And nobody is perfect :) Just saying! I look forward to reading more when you start posting again!

Unknown said...

Awe!!! I am so happy they are together and I can't wait to see how they'll be together, I really hope Tervor gets it together about this website tho.. I don't like him being in Austin lol.. I can't wait to see what more is to come!!!

I sure will miss your post next week, I really hate people have to complain about everything, I mean come on its a FUN blog that is being done, because you like to write it and we love to read it.. People drive me nuts!! But I sure hope you'll be back soon and I can't wait to read more!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sad you are going on break, but I totally get it! You deserve a vacation you've been so constant even during the holidays! Take as many breaks as you want so you don't burn out, because you are never allowed to stop writing hahaha. I could never ever write a story so I don't get why other people get so judgy, you make mistakes, but who doesn't? At least the story line is very good.
Luita

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh!!! Today's my birthday and when I saw you posted it felt like a birthday present, then the ending with her and Trevor getting together felt like a ton of presents!!! I love them together and i love your blog! Jen

Janay333 said...

Aww! Happy belated birthday Jen! I'm glad you enjoyed the post and this blog!

Janay333 said...

Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying the blog!

Janay333 said...

I can never stay away from the blog too long. I just really hate the thought of the errors taking away from the story, so I need to work.on that!

Beautiful song! Definitely captures their feeling towards each other.

Janay333 said...

Thank you! I can't wait either! So excited about their relationship and story line!

Janay333 said...

So many ideas about Trevor and Lily and Austin and everyone else! I'm excited to get some post done.

I know I get lazy on proofreading, that's why i take the comments to heart. I think a break to focus on writing and proofing will help me a lot with the laziness lol

Janay333 said...

Thank you! I thinks it the beginning posts specifically. It will never be perfect, but I started rereading and it does take away from the understanding.

Janay333 said...

Lol I'm not burning out! I'm very excited about this year's post. I would love to get some post in reserve so I can focus more on editing before I post.

Diary of a British Scot said...

Aww, all those people who get fussy about spelling can just go disappear, you do this for fun and the major thing is the story - which has always been brilliant and unexpected and so easy to read. You also have such long posts every time which has been so appreciated, I know how much time it can take out of your life! Enjoy your break :)

http://www.diaryofabritishscot.blogspot.co.uk/

Anonymous said...

Ah, this was absolutely perfect! I'm not going to lie - I am really going to miss your posts next week, I look forward to them so very much! I hope you know how much we appreciate you and your writing and your consistency in posting...I know you absolutely don't have to do it, and you've done so much to build the storyline and each character - it must take so much time, but it really shows. I hope you don't let the comments about errors bug you too much - I've honestly never even noticed! Enjoy your break as you totally deserve it, but know that you and this blog will be totally missed, Janay! I'm so excited about Trevor and Lily that so many songs could be used as inspiration: Billy Joel "Just the Way You Are", Ray LaMontagne "You are the best thing", Ray Lamontagne "Shelter", "First Day of my Life" Bright Eyes, Ben Howard "Only Love", Jack Johnson "Angel", Sean Hayes "When we Fall in", Paddy Casey "Bend Down Low"

Kristin said...

As a late arrival to your blog, I can understand wanting to go back and fix the beginning. Clearly I stuck with it, but I remember being confused about the timeline and having to check the character guide frequently to sort of who was who. I greatly appreciated the subtitles when she was with Jake. Now that I'm hooked I get excited every time I see you post. I also think your writing has improved along the way so keep up the great work!