*Mini Bonus Post
"You swore and said we are not
We are not shining stars
This I know
I never said we are
Though I've never been through hell like that
I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back
If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground
Carry on
Carry on, carry on" Carry On by FUN.
"Merry Christmas." He
said, handing me a box when I put down my phone.
I took it from him. "Thanks...
a little late though."
"Better late than never right?"
Jake said, with a little smile.
I just nodded; still shocked he was
even at my doorstep. I examined him: Running pants, t-shirt, NorthFace
jacket. Completely casual like he hadn't erased me from his life.
Why is he here?
I keep watching, waiting for the
reason to come to me. I probably would still be standing there, studying him,
until he cleared his throat.
"Can I come in? I want to
talk to you. If you want to get dressed and come out I won't take up too much
of your time." He said, while looking me over quickly.
I looked down at my clothes too. Or
lack of clothes. I was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. Trevor's were so
comfortable, I bought myself boxers to sleep in.
I moved out the way to let him in.
"Be right back. Take a seat." I said, sitting the gift on the couch
before rushing up the stairs. I found a pair of jogging pants and pulled them
on. I didn't spend any time in the mirror, but I did run my fingers through my
hair on the way down the stairs.
When I came back to the living room,
Jake was sitting on the couch with his jacket beside him. He was giving Justine
a rub down and she had rolled over on her back.
His rub downs definitely had that
effect...
"It's that easy to win her
over." I said, pushing that line of thoughts from my mind and taking a
seat in a chair safely across from him.
"Dogs are good judge in
characters." He said, giving her one last rub before she got up and hopped
up on me, putting her paws on my lap.
"Not her... you know how you
tell kids stranger danger? I have to tell her that. She runs up to strangers,
looking for attention. Attention whore." I said, petting her before she
raced off to her bowl.
"They say they act like their
owner." Jake commented.
"Her previous owner must have
been Kim Kardashian." I quipped.
"That would explain the
bling." Jake said, looking at her collar.
No, Trevor would explain the bling...
He cleared his throat and looked at
me. "Omar wanted to say thank you- I want to thank you for talking to
Kelly."
I shook my head. "No need. Besides,
it wasn't for you two. It was for her."
"I know, but still. If the
situation was reversed, I don't think I would have- I know I wouldn't have
helped." Jake frowned. "I'm sorry for how I've been treating
you."
"I get when people break up
they go their separate ways. I just hate feeling like you- regret dating me. I
thought we could be friends. I didn't think you wouldn't want me in your life
at all. It sucks, but if that's what you want-"
Jake shook his head. "It's not.
I felt like you regretted being with me. I was tired of feeling like another
person's mistake. So I pretended like I didn't care about you."
"Jake, I meant every word in my
letter. I don't think dating you was a mistake. I wouldn't take a day away from
us. The fighting and arguing I would take away, but that doesn't mean I regret
being with you." I said.
"I wish things would have
played out differently, but I don't regret being together." Jake said,
rubbing his hands against pants. When he stretched his arms, I saw a black mark
on his right bicep. I studied it, curiously.
"You have a tattoo?" I
asked, surprised.
He nodded. "Yeah. I went with
Omar. He got angel wings for his son and it just made me think about how short life is. I don't want to spend it being a dick. The tattoo is a permanent
reminder of that."
I smiled. "I don't think you're
a dick."
"No?"
"No, you need to work on
forgiveness. Jenna told me once that forgiveness is not about the other person:
It's letting go of all your anger, resentment and disappointment towards that
person."
"Remember the first talk we had at
your housewarming? You were hiding out because you didn't want to be
shrinked." Jake said, lightly.
"Might not have wanted it, but
I need it." I commented.
"Are you saying I need a psychologist?"
He asked, with a smile.
"It depends on what the tattoo
says." I smiled back. He pulled up the sleeve on his shirt and it was an
intricate compass. I walked over to examine the shading.
"What do you think? I know you’re
not a fan of tats..." Jake said, watching me as I studied the tattoo.
"I'm not a fan of meaningless tattoos. What does it mean
to you?"
"Moving forward, but in the
right direction. Letting my past show me where I don't want to go." He
said, simply. "I forgive you Lily. Even if I wanted to be mad, after what
you did for Kelly and Omar, I can't be."
"I forgive you too and I love
the tattoo." I said, smiling at him. I truly did. I ran my fingers over
the beautiful work. It looked so good on his tan skin. I believed him when he
said he was moving forward the right way.
When we broke up at Celestial park,
I was so conflicted and lost. I didn't trust him not to treat me the same way
nor did I trust myself not to put up with it. Now, it was so clear. I had no
doubt he was committed to change. I also knew I would never be that girl who
let anyone treat me badly. We both found our way.
"Now what?" Jake asked me,
looking into my eyes.
I took a deep breath. I was still
attracted to him. I mean, his face and body were amazing. It was so easy to
think of all the good times we had together, and how much better it could be
now. There was always a risk of bad habits popping back up. I knew that for a
fact. As much as I felt like I changed, I still had my moments. That's what
love is, taking chances...
...but I was taking a chance with
Trevor. I loved him.
I moved my hand away from his arm.
"Open my late ass Christmas present!"
Jake smiled. "Aged, not
late."
I sat beside him and opened the
gift. It was a gift set of Disaronno. The bottle was a limited addition,
designed by Versace and came with two glasses.
"Aged Disaronno and Versace.
Thank you." I grinned as I opened it up. "We should have opened this
up before our talk."
"Is it too late?" Jake
asked.
"Probably, but one glass won't
hurt." I took the glasses to the kitchen and rinsed them out before adding
ice. I went back to the living room. I poured us small glasses before handing
one to Jake.
"To forgiveness?" I asked,
holding up my glass.
He tapped his glass into mine before
we sipped them.
"How would you feel if I asked
Jasmine to move in with me?" I asked him.
"Better you than me." He laughed.
It was great seeing him laugh again at me.
"Shut up. I'm serious. She
didn't ask; she actually wants her own place, but the ones she looked at suck.”
“Everyone’s first apartment sucks.
It’s a growing pain.” Jake said.
“Besides the point. Would it be
weird for you?” I asked.
“Would it be weird for Trevor?” He
countered.
I watched him, cautiously. There was
nothing in his tone or mood but curiosity. “Nope. He actually suggested it.”
Jake finished his drink. “Then go
for it.”
I finished my drink too.
“Uno mas? {One more}?” Jake asked me reaching
for the bottle.
“Why not?” I asked, smiling.
“What are we drinking to?” He asked,
pouring bigger drinks.
I grabbed my glass. Our hands
touched briefly before I pulled away.
“Moving on.” I toasted him.
9 comments:
Ugh go away jake! I will seriously have to take a hiatus for a very long time if lily screws up things with Trevor and gets with Jake. As much as I love this blog I can't stand Jake and the posts with Trevor were so nice to read it would ruin them
Can't help but agree. Haha I just can't stand jake. I feel like Jasmine moving in is going to be a mistake lol
I agree!!!
Thank You for the BONUS post! It is much appreciated.
I agree! !!
I love this post! Jake is a good guy and they don't need to get back together for us to see that. He's moving on and that's good. People say he was a bad boyfriend, well guess what? Lily wasn't a great girlfriend either. I feel that some people know nothing about forgiveness, he messed up, he apologized and he's trying to do better. And I don't feel that he's trying to get her back at this point he even brought up Trevor in their conversation, so I don't feel there's a reason to hate him right now.
Thanks for the bonus post and the closure.
Luita
I didn't read any comment that had to do with not forgiving him or that they "hate" one said can't stand guess that's close haha. People have a right to not feel jake is a good fit for lily just like others say about Trevor. Funny thing though jake would have had a fit if lily was drinking with an ex
Im glad Jake is back in the picture. Its about time that they talk and forgive each other since they have alot of friends in common and are bound to run into each other. Seriously, they both screwed up but its good to know that both lily and jake have learned from their mistakes.
Thank You for the bonus!!! I really don't want Jasmine moving in with Lily, I am Hoping Tervor moves in with her soon!! I am glad her and Jake talked and settled the issues but now he needs to move on and not mess with Lily, I am too excited for her and Tervor, Jake doesn't need to come between them!!! Can't wait to see what is coming up in the blog future!!! I love your blog!!!
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