"I don't know where I'm going
But, I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again
Tho' I keep searching for an answer,
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on,
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams" Here I Go Again by Whitesnake
***Flashback***
College Years
"You got the booze?" Trevor asked us, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously.
I felt my face flush, willing myself to stop noticing how beautiful his eyes were. I held up the 24 pack of Miller Light.
"Got 'em." I said, smiling.
"How are you gonna invite us over and make us provide beer?" Rocky commented, stalking past him into the apartment he shared with Bilal and Donovan.
" 'Cause I provided the surprise!" Trevor said, gesturing for me to come in. I followed Rocky.
"Where's Bilal?" Rocky asked, looking around the room.
"He'll be back. Went to pick up some pizza." Trevor answered, the smile fading from his face slightly.
Rocky scowled. Bilal and Rocky argued a few days ago. Every time things got heated about Bilal's future, or lack of future, Bilal just left; leaving Rocky to stew in her anger. Before when they disagreed on something, normally one would admit fault and move on. It wasn't happening this time. They hadn't spoken since the argument. It was at a standstill and was getting worse with time.
I made Rocky promise to not bring it up. She graduated in May. It was one of the last few times we could all hang out together. I didn't want any fighting. Especially since Trevor was so excited about his surprise.
"What's the surprise?" I asked him, changing the subject.
His smile widened again. "C'mere. I'll show you!"
We walked into the living room and Trevor held up a new game: Rock Band 3.
"No fucking way! Did you get the keyboard too?" I squealed.
"Sure did. Let's set it up." Trevor said, excitedly.
We connected the bass, guitar, microphone, drums and keyboard to Donovan's Xbox. I chose the keyboard since it was new and I've never tried it before. Trevor chose the microphone because he has a decent voice and a love for classic rock, so he knew most of the songs.
Eventually Rocky joined in with us on the drums when we did a Paramore song she knew. We were jamming out together when Donovan and Bilal finally arrived with a couple of pizzas. Their friends Ian, Justin and Christian trailed them.
"Hi guys" I greeted them all.
"Hey Lily, Rocky." Bilal said. Rocky didn't even acknowledged him and he headed to the kitchen. The other guys said "Hey" while Christian joined me at the keyboard.
"How's it working?" Christian asked me.
"It's great! I love it!" I smiled at him.
"As much as the guitar?" He asked.
"Nooo... me and the guitar go way back. We're an unstoppable team." I boasted.
"We'll see about that." Trevor challenged me. "Get on the guitar!"
I smiled and did as he said. Christian joined us and hopped on the keyboard and Ian took the bass. Rocky gave up the drums to Donovan and headed to the kitchen. We made an awesome team as we went through the game, earning more songs.
We had to take a break when Trevor's phone rang. I went into the kitchen to grab a beer. Rocky was in the kitchen, chatting with Justin, I rejoined everyone just in time to hear the end of Trevor's conversation.
"That's cool Brooke, she can stop by too. See ya in a bit." Trevor ended the phone call.
I groaned inwardly at the mention of Brooke. Why did she keep coming around? Trevor already told her he wasn't looking for a relationship: Most girls only hung around for a few months after that. Why was she still holding on?
It doesn't matter Lily. Trevor is your friend, that's it.
As much as I tried to reassure myself, I still had a sickening feeling when there was a knock on the door and Donovan went to open it.
"Heyyy Everybody!" Brooke exclaimed, followed by one of her flunkies. I remembered her face, but not her name. I couldn't tell if Brooke was cold or hot in a mini jean skirt and Baylor sweatshirt.
"How's it going Brooke?" Trevor asked, giving her a hug. I turned to face the game on the TV.
"It's going. What are y'all doing?" Brooke asked.
"Playing Rock Band. Have you played?" Trevor asked.
"Nope." She giggled.
I impatiently tapped my fingers against the guitar while I waited for her friend to grab some pizza for them while Trevor explained the self-explanatory game to Brooke. I mean, it was instruments and music. What was so hard about that? Urgh. I rolled my eyes at them.
Christian chuckled beside me. "You ok?" He asked.
"Great." I said, chirpily.
I looked to see if anyone else noticed my annoyance. Rocky was chatting and laughing with Ian and ignoring Bilal. Bilal in turn was ignoring her, but every now and then he would stare in her direction. Trevor was playing good host and showing the girls how to play and everyone else was in the kitchen. Christian was the only one paying me any attention, thank God.
Finally, they were ready to play. Trevor gave the mic up to Brooke and flunkie and grabbed the bass Ian vacated to talk to Rocky.
The girls picked Joan Jett's version of "I love Rock n Roll" and failed horribly by trying to sing Britney Spear's version. Trevor was amused. I was disgusted. I focused on my solo so it wouldn't be obvious how much I didn't want them here.
"O....o...ohhhh! 95%!!! That's incredible Lily. This is your first time playing?" Christian asked me.
"Rock Band 3? Yes. I played the others." I smiled, shyly, looking over at him briefly.
"I got 97%" Trevor blurted, taking my attention from Christian.
"Donovan also owns Rock Band 1 and 2 and you still play on easy!" I pointed out to him.
"Still got higher than you." Trevor teased.
"I'm playing on Medium!" I declared.
"I can too!"
The next song, "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse, Trevor and I went head to head on medium. The bass was easier, so I was really focusing when Trevor bumped shoulders with me. By the third "accidental" bump into me: I bumped him back. Hard.
"Cheater!" He accused, looking at me when he had a break.
"Look who's talking!" I laughed. "I learnt from the best."
"Obviously not with your guitar playing abilities." He quipped.
"Whatever Trevor!" I laughed.
"Shhhh.... I can't hear the vocals. It's throwing me off." Flunkie whined.
What was her excuse when we weren't talking? I wanted to ask, but I bit my tongue.
After the song, which I crushed Trevor in points, I turned to him.
"Want another ass-kicking, err, rematch?" I grinned.
"I don't know any other songs. Can I try the guitar?" Brooke asked before Trevor could answer me.
"No, come here. The bass is easier." Trevor offered. He moved over to make room for her to squeeze in between us.
I stood up, removing the guitar.
"Where are you going?" Trevor asked.
"To eat and give a newbie a chance." I said, as cheerfully as I could muster.
I grabbed my beer and headed to the kitchen. I drank the rest of it down. I went to the stove and saw nothing but 2 empty pizza boxes. Stupid boys! I needed pizza, and ice cream and potatoes chips and gummy bears-
"Don't tell anyone, but I have crazy bread." Christian said from behind me.
"If you share, I'll give you all my guitar secrets." I bargained.
"Not necessary. Follow me." Christian smiled. I followed him into Donovan's bedroom. In the mini fridge, Christian pulled out the bread sticks.
"I can go heat them up..."
"No!" I exclaimed. I blushed when he looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "I mean, its fine cold. I gets all rubbery if it's overheated."
He handed the bag over and I dug in, enthusiastically. The buttery bread tasted so good, I moaned out loud. Then blushed.
Calm down Lily. It's just food...
Christian grinned at me. "I like a girl that can eat."
"I eat too well, that's my problem." I said, after I swallowed.
"I don't see any problems." Christian responded.
"And you didn't meet me until recently." I said, simply before munching on the bread. "Ask Trevor. I lost a lot of weight."
"Well, you look great now. I bet Trevor kicks himself every time he sees you."
I snorted, then blushed covering my mouth, embarrassed.
"Why would he do that? We're just friends." I said, hopefully lightly, even though my chest tightened with each word.
"Y'all never hooked up?"
"Never..." I said, shoving another piece of bread in my mouth.
"Good to know-" Christian said, before the door was pushed all the way open. Trevor came into the room.
"Hey, what are y'all doing back here?" Trevor asked, looking between us.
"Nothing." I said, guilty chewing on the food in my mouth, before swallowing down the evidence.
"Come do nothing out here." Trevor said, plainly. I handed the bread sticks back to Christian.
"Thank you."
We all returned to the living room to play. Trevor challenged me on every instrument so we rotated, seeing who was better. Trevor even forced me to sing "Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction with him. Eventually, Brooke and her friend left. Trevor went to walk them out.
After a trip to the bathroom, I went looking for Rocky to see if she was ready to go. I found her, making out with Bilal in his room. Apparently, her give-everyone-attention-but-him-routine worked.
"I think Rocky is spending the night here." I told Trevor. "Think you can give me a lift home?"
"I can. It's on my way." Christian offered.
I nodded while Trevor shook his head. "I'll take you. We can stop and get something to eat."
"I can do that and you won't have to get out." Christian countered.
"I want something to eat too, so we're good. You ready Lily?" Trevor asked me.
I left to go get my purse out of his room. When I came back, Trevor and Christian were having a conversation that stopped when I reached them.
"Ready Freddy?" He asked, slinging his arm around my shoulders.
"Ready!" I smiled, happily.
After saying goodnight to everyone, we left. We stopped by Wendy's on the way home for dollar burgers, fries and frostys.
"Thanks Trevor." I said, getting out his car. I turned back to him after a moment. Trevor was watching me, his normally light eyes darkened. The way he looked at me made me blush, and I swore I felt something spark between us...
"Do you wanna come up? Eat and watch a movie or something?" I asked Trevor hopefully.
He paused before speaking. "Not tonight Lilypad. I'm beat." He said, giving me a lazy smile. "I'll call you tomorrow."
"Ok. Goodnight." I said quickly, rushing to my dorm.
You would think the sting of rejection would eventually lessen the more you experienced it.
It hadn't.
***PRESENT***
"I don't remember the last time I was rejected like that." I complained to Rocky and Sammy as we cooked dinner Wednesday evening at Sammy's apartment. It was the first time we had been over there. I wasn't sure why I never stopped by to see it. Probably because a part of me was still bitter that she didn't want to live with me anymore. I got over it though, especially since I tried to get a new roommate. Tried and failed.
"What did she say?" Sammy asked me with a little smirk. I was sure she was holding back a shit eating grin. She thought Jasmine moving in was a horrible idea.
"Basically thanks, but no thanks." I supplied, vaguely as I flaked some salmon for croquettes.
Jasmine thought it would be awkward with Jake, even though I told her I discussed it with Jake first. She also pointed out that while she knew me, she didn't really know me. She said thanks, but she was looking forward to her own space. I said I understood, and let it go.
"Good. Now you realize I'm irreplaceable!" Sammy grinned at me, turning away from the white cheddar macaroni and cheese she was making. It was from a box, but she swore by it. It smelled good.
"To the left, to the left." I sang and danced to her, Beyonce style.
We both cracked up laughing before talking about our weekend plans. I already knew Brandon had to close Sunday evening, so Rocky, Trevor and I were going over to Rachel's house for the super bowl.
Rachel told me last year's super bowl party was at Forrest's apartment. The guys complained the girls talked too much about the commercial, Bruno Mars half-time performance and non football related topics. That's why Rachel was hosting it this year. When her parent's retired to Florida, they left her the 2 story home she grew up in, complete with an upstairs and downstairs living room and a game room that were going to be utilized for the party.
Rachel and Forrest both posted on Facebook so it was an open invitation. The only thing they asked was that everyone brought food or drinks. Forrest requested Rocky make the hot seafood dip she made at the Labor Day game night party. She agreed, so now I was stuck trying to figure out what to make.
The Facebook post became a list of who's bringing what. Someone already called queso dip, so I was still debating what to bring. A part of me wanted something healthy cause I knew Rachel was dieting for the wedding, the other part said: "Fuck that! It's the super bowl bitch!" I was trying to reconcile the two.
Sammy had to work, so she wasn't going to be able to make it. I told her to extend an invitation to Corey. Corey wasn't into football, but Trevor wasn't either, so he would enjoy his company.
When I noticed Rocky not joining in on the discussion, I turned her way. She looked lost in her own little world, chopping onions and celery a little too vigorously.
"Rocky, what's wrong?" I asked her, mixing breadcrumbs, eggs and seasonings into the salmon.
She snapped to attention. "Nothing. Just this damn onion. You need a food processor Sammy."
Sammy rolled her eyes. "Sure. I'll put that on the list."
"You'll never chop again." Rocky commented.
"She doesn't chop now." I joked.
"Fuck off Lily!" Sammy exclaimed. I laughed.
Rocky smiled, but I could tell it was forced.
"What's going on with you Rocky? You seem... distracted."
"Just work stuff. You know how it is." She shrugged, dumping the chopped vegetables in my salmon mixture.
"I don't. I'm killing it at my job. Got a raise to prove it. Enlighten me." I responded as I mixed.
"Same stuff, different day. What's going on with your job Sammy? Why are you working this weekend?" Rocky asked.
"We lost 3 girls that relocated with Ron to Miami. Jeff is part of the Dallas management team and he's been focusing on bringing in new clients. Which he has, but we don't have enough girls. Which means I'm covering until we hire more girls."
"That sucks." I said.
"I've been reaching out to girls on social media. I'm planning to check some of them out next week." Sammy explained.
"Let me know if you want company." I told her. I looked at Rocky.
"Me too." Rocky agreed.
We shaped and fried the croquettes and opened a bag salad to finish our meal. Sammy had a bottle of Chardonnay, so we made our plates and poured our glasses of wine. After dinner, we left and went home.
Thursday at lunch, I got a call from Amber. She received noticed that she passed NCLEX exam! I congratulated her. I was so happy for her. Now she could start looking for RN jobs.
Amber asked me if she could cash in on her free babysitting voucher I gave her for Christmas so she and Will could go out to celebrate. I agreed right away. We set it up for Saturday night. After work, I texted Ethan.
Me: I'm babysitting Amber's kids Saturday. Would love if EJ can hang out with us!
I hadn't seen EJ in weeks and it would be nice since I was watching Amber's kids anyway. Besides, now Ethan had no excuse not to celebrate his birthday.
I gave Trevor a call next.
"Hey, are you busy?" I asked him when he answered. There was a lot of background noise.
"Never too busy for you." He answered.
"It's about this weekend. It looks like I'll be on babysitting duty." I told him.
"Really?"
"Yeah. Amber passed her exam, so she's going out with Will to celebrate. I'm gonna to tell her they can just spend the night. I completely understand if you'd rather spend the weekend in Austin, not surrounded by kids and football." I told him.
Trevor laughed. "No, we'll do something fun with the kids. Maybe take them out again."
"No, I offered to watch EJ. Ethan hasn't responded yet, but if he does, it'll be a four kids. Probably best to have a movie night or something at my apartment. Although, finding a movie they all agree on should be an adventure in itself." I said.
"We'll figure it out. I'll call you back."
"Ok." I said, letting him go.
Later on that evening, Ethan texted me back.
Ethan: EJ wants to come over, so count him in.
Me: Yay! Now you have to go out for your birthday.
Ethan: Have to?
Me: Yep. Time to turn up the heat E-QUATOR!!! :-)
Ethan: See you Saturday
I spent the rest of the evening trying to plan what to do with the kids. Movie and food selection was tough for 3 and 7 year old boys and 8 and 6 year old girls. I was leaning towards Despicable Me 1 and 2 and a taco and ice cream bar.
After Justine's walk and bath, I got ready for bed. I pulled up Pinterest to start looking for healthy tailgate food for the super bowl party. I found several recipes for potato skins that looked good. I could make a variety of healthy and not so healthy ones. I shared a few to Facebook, tagging Forrest and Rachel in them, asking for advice to which ones to make.
As soon as I posted, I was commenting back and forth on Facebook as everyone gave their opinion. After an hour, I decided on traditional bacon and cheese, a Seattle Seahawks themed recipe featuring salmon and New England themed one featuring sweet potatoes.
After I made my decision, I scrolled through my news feed. I looked through the photos Trevor was tagged in. It looked like they went out to a bar. I cringed when I saw Amelia in a few pictures.
I almost didn't recognize her. Gone were the purple highlights. Her hair was a sliver-y blond now with long, choppy layers. She had it pushed behind her ear, showing off her ears that were laced with piercings. Her eyes looked stunning in thick black winged liner. She was wearing a highlighter pink graphic t-shirt dress that barley reached her thighs, mesh hole filled stockings and combat boots completed her look. Anyone else would have looked stupid with such an extreme style, but somehow she pulled it off looking feminine, hardcore and rock star all at the same time.
Urgh, why wasn't she on the road? Trashing hotel rooms, getting drunk and high, hanging with groupies or whatever aspiring artists do. I got off Facebook. Trevor made the comment he wasn't jealous of the guys I've slept with. Maybe I shouldn't be jealous, but I didn't fucking like her. I didn't like that he still hung out with her. Is that normal? Or is that just me?
I pushed those thoughts away. I couldn't be jealous. I hung out with my exes. I needed to get over myself. I texted Trevor goodnight and that I loved him before I put my phone away too.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Puff, the Magic Dragon
"A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar
His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane
Without his life-long friend, Puff could not be brave
So Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave, oh!
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist
in a land called Honnah Lee" Puff, the Magic Dragon by Peter, Paul and Mary
Monday evening I had my first rehab session with Coach Green. I rated his strength and range of motion on both arms before we got started. I made him sit on a massage table and took his arm through a series of test. After examining his healthy side, I did the same test to his injured side.
His healthy side being a 5, his range of motion and strength on his injured side was a 2. I could move his arm with little pain to no pain, but he could not move by himself without a considerate amount of pain. That told me the bone was healed, we just had to focus on strengthening the rotator cuff muscles surrounding it.
After we went through a group of stretches to warm up the muscles, I had him start a routine of exercises that include abduction, adduction, extension and flexion. He struggled through most of them, but he did complete the entire set. Afterwards, I put him on the electrical stimulation machine with a bag of ice.
"My favorite part of rehabilitation." Coach Green sighed.
"What has Forrest been setting you up on?" I asked him as I set the machine.
"Quad-something."
"Quad combo. What else has he been doing?" I asked, sitting to the table next to him.
The training room was empty besides us. Coach Green had the latest appointment time because of his work schedule. Q was around earlier, finishing up his work out, but he already left.
Coach Green explained the workouts Forrest had him doing: Isometric exercise that had him contracting the muscles without movement. They were great for keeping the muscles from atrophy without interrupting the healing of the bone. Forrest was spot on and I told Coach Green that.
"I'll have to pass that along. He wasn't happy when I told him what that surgeon said about getting a doctor's opinion."
"Of course Dr. Lee is going to push surgeries. That's his job. It wasn't personal." I grinned.
"Still funny. I like messing with him. He's a good kid." Coach Green added.
"A kid huh? I'm gonna tell him you called him a kid."
"When you get to my age, all of you are kids to me." Coach Green said.
"Why thank you. Now I don't have to hang around the youngsters to feel hip." I grinned.
He shook his head at me. "Are you watching the super bowl?" He asked.
"Of course. Who are you going with?"
"Seattle. I think New England's going to win, but Richard Sherman is a Phi Beta Sigma. Gotta support my brother."
I nodded. "I'm going with Seattle too. I can't support Tom Brady. He and his balls creep me out."
He looked surprised for a moment and then laughed. I laughed too as Sandra approached us.
"Mr. Green, how's your first day going?"
"Coach Green, Mr. Green was my dad."
"I'm just going to have to call you Walt. I'm too used to using Mister." Sandra said, apologetically.
"Works for me. It's going good. Almost done, right?" Coach Green looked at me.
I looked at the machine. "7 more minutes."
"Great. I'm heading out. I'll see you both Wednesday. Have a great evening Lily and Walt." Sandra smiled at us before leaving.
The remaining 7 minutes we continued talking about football and college. He went to school in Illinois and moved out here for his first wife. Even after they divorced, he stayed. He said when he was a "kid", he never imagined he would want to move from the Midwest. He commented it was funny how your mindset changes as an adult.
I had to agree. I told him I moved out here for Baylor and ultimately decided I wanted to live in Texas. I didn't make that decision until I let go of the childish hope that my mom and I would reconnect after all these years.
As soon as his treatment was over, I changed clothes and headed to my brother's apartment. I hadn't seen him in a while and I needed to talk to him anyway.
"Hey bro!" I said, giving him a hug after he let me in the apartment.
"Hey sis. What's up?" He asked me, hugging me back.
"Just checking in on my favorite brother." I smiled.
"Only brother." He corrected.
"So you win by default. Still a win. Where's Jenna?" I asked, as we headed for the living room.
"At work. She's covering an evening class. She'll be home around 7 if you need to talk to her..." He said, flopping on the couch.
"No, just wondering. I wanted to talk to you." I said, sitting beside him.
"Uh-oh. What did you do? Or need?" He asked.
"Nothing... really. I don't need anything. I would like it if you helped Trevor with whatever he needs help with." I started.
Cam sat up straight and looked at me. "I thought we both agreed how stupid he was being."
"I didn't say stupid... maybe careless." I cleaned up.
"Whatever PC term you wanna use, we're supporting it now?" Cam asked.
"I figured, worst case scenario, he finishes the job, gets royally screwed right?"
"Yeah..." Cam said, frowning up at me.
"The quicker he finishes, the quicker he'll be back in Dallas, at his job. If this drags on past the leave of absence, I have a feeling he will quit his job." I continued.
"Yeah, he said he would if he didn't get the leave." Cam nodded. "I don't understand why he couldn't just do both and work from here."
"Cat. Rebuilding the site was her project. Before, Trevor was just helping her out so all Kenji's requests went through her. Now, Kenji feels comfortable enough to call Trevor and question his dedication."
"Dedication without a contract..." Cam shook his head.
"That's what I said. I just want him back here and away from that nonsense." I explained.
Cam gave me a look. "This is about his job and not about you just wanting him back? I feel between the two of us, we can force him to get something in writing. Then I'll help him finish."
"Of course that's a part of it, but Trevor has no idea what he's doing. I mean, the website stuff he's great at. He's a nerd, he'll figure out whatever he needs eventually. It's the business aspect. Can you see him negotiating a contract?"
Cam opened his mouth to respond, but I cut him off.
"No! He's Mr. Sunshine and rainbows and butterflies! Don't get me wrong, I love that, but that doesn't work in the business world. His defense of Kenji was that he's a good guy! A man he hasn't even met in person! You know he'll get taken advantage of. I just want him not to screw himself over by quitting the job he has."
"So basically, you want me to help him out without a contract or job security so he can return back to Dallas and a job he hates?" Cam stated bluntly.
I fidgeted. "He hates his job out here?"
"He said hell would be the devil and his cubicle."
I giggled. That was Trevor.
"Ok, I sounded like a major bitch. I just don't want him putting all his hopes and dreams on freelancing. One of the things that attracted me to him when we first met was how positive he is, but he's got to see the negative side of things too in order to weigh the risk."
"I'll help him, and you don't sound like a bitch. Just like a concerned girlfriend. My little sister is all grown up." He said, teasing me, pulling out his phone.
"Shut the fuck up Cam." I cursed him.
"Ah! That's the sister I know and love." He chuckled, tapping away on his phone.
"So what's up with the wedding?" I asked Cam, when he put the phone away.
"I think we have a date." Cam responded.
"Really? When?" I asked, excitedly.
"April 18th, but don't save the date yet." Cam told me.
"Ha! You said save the date! That's awesome! Where are y'all thinking?" I asked.
"A hotel for the ceremony and reception. It's the best option since everyone is out of town on my side of the family."
"Ok, so y'all are planning to visit and pick one?"
"No, between her mom and sisters, they got it figured out." Cam answered.
"So what's the hold up? Why not, 'save the date'?" I said, complete with hand air quotes.
"Jenna is insistent on making sure my mom is able to come." My brother sighed.
I flinched. Cam never talked about his mother with me, but his silence spoke volumes. As a kid, he came back from his visits with his mom even more furious with dad. It was so confusing as a child. I didn't understand why. I did now.
I didn't blame his mom for wanting nothing to do with our dad or me. It's one thing if your husband has an affair; it's a completely different thing if there is living, breathing proof of that affair. Even though I wasn't my dad's biological daughter, I understood her resentment.
"Jenna has that positive, sunshine and rainbows outlook too. As long as you work hard enough, anything is possible. I'm willing to put in the work with my mom, but she has to be willing too. That means accepting you-"
"No it doesn't." I denied, shaking my head.
"Yes it does. As a kid, I didn't know how to handle our situation. She made me handle things I shouldn't have had to. My frustration with it all came out in anger. I know how to handle it now. You're my family. My favorite sister-"
"Only sister." I interrupted.
"Still my favorite." He chuckled. "She already knows that. It's her decision. Either way, I'm good." Cam finished.
"If you're good, I'm good." I smiled.
"I'm better than good. I'm better than rainbows and butterflies. I'm puff the magic dragon good." Cam smiled.
"Yeah, you're puffing something." I laughed at him.
Tuesday, I spent my off day taking care of errands. My check engine light came on, so I took my car to the shop. I was starting to regret my decision of staying at the shop instead of waiting for someone to come with me when one of the mechanics kept hitting on me.
I pulled out my phone and focused on it, hoping that he would get the point. I tried to call Trevor, but he didn't answer. I pulled up my Facebook next. On my notifications, I saw that it was Ethan's birthday. Thank God for Facebook. Ethan didn't make a big deal of his birthday. Facebook was the only way I knew. I called him
"Hello?"
"Happy Birthday!" I exclaimed, cheerfully.
"Thank you." He responded.
"I didn't think you would answer. I was prepared to sing happy birthday on your voicemail."
"Thankfully, I answered." He replied.
"Shut up! What are you doing today?" I asked him.
"Working."
"All day?" I asked.
"Pretty much."
"Urgh, Ethan, it's your birthday. What are you doing this weekend?" I asked.
"It's my weekend with EJ."
"So when are you planning to celebrate?"
"When I turn 30, 40, and 50 like normal adults."
"Ohh, I'm Ethan. I'm such a grown up I don't celebrate birthdays." I mimicked him.
"Are you done? I have grown up things to do."
"I'm done!"
After we got off the phone, I called Brandon. He answered and I asked him if he could send me silly, embarrassing pictures as Ethan as a kid. As I was waiting for them to come, Trevor returned my phone call.
"Hey babe! What's up?" I said, emphasizing babe, seeing if the mechanic heard me. He did.
"Nothing, I just got off the phone with your brother. He helped me out with the website." Trevor said. "Thank you for talking to him."
"No problem and I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel like I don't support you. Even when you're being childish and naive-"
"Hey, I thought you supported me!" Trevor laughed.
"I do, even when we don't agree." I smiled. "I just have a question for you." I said.
"What is it?"
"Why did you stay at a job you hate? I mean, I know the first couple of years you needed the experience. Why didn't you start looking a few years ago?" I questioned.
"I don't hate it. I don't want to do it for the rest of my life though. Besides, a few years ago, I knew you were coming back to Dallas. I figured I should hold on to that connection of working with your brother until you got back."
"Aww, really? That's so creepy!"
"Creepy, naive and childish. Anymore support you want to give me?" Trevor chuckled.
"Just my unconditional love." I smiled.
"Love ya too!"
By the time I got off the phone, Brandon sent me the pictures. None of them were Ethan being silly. His friends struck silly poses around him, school picture were always awkwardly funny, and some of the haircuts and clothes were embarrassing; but none of him being an immature kid. I sighed. Not what I wanted, but they would have to do. I arranged them in a cute collage for him. I posted it on Facebook and tagged him in it. I captioned the pictures:
"Your car is ready miss." The mechanic informed me. He called me "hun" or "gorgeous" the entire time. It made me feel old, but I gladly welcomed Misses.
"Thank you sir." I smirked.
My car needed an oil change and a tune up. I paid and left. I went grocery shopping and got to all my neglected chores around the apartment.
I took a break and saw I had notifications on Facebook. Mostly people posting on Ethan's birthday picture, wishing him a happy birthday. Ethan commented saying:
Ethan: I can't help it I was wise beyond my years.
Brandon: translation, lame!
Their mom also posted a comment about the fact he never smiled in pictures. I commented back.
Me: I didn't even want smiling pictures. I wanted embarrassing ones. This is all Brandon could come up with.
I was texting Jasmine about her apartment search when I got another notification.
Jake posted a high school picture of him and Ethan. He tagged me and Ethan in it. The caption read:
They were both doing the Michael Jordan pose, legs spread, tongues sticking out, holding a ball on outstretched arms. I busted out laughing. Then I read their shirts. It was the team's basketball shirts with their nicknames. I knew right away because Jake's read: J-money. I laughed harder when I saw Ethan's nickname: E-Quator.
I commented on the picture.
Me: Really? #E-quator!!! How did y'all come up with this stuff!?!
Ethan: It was all @Jake's idea.
Jake: You agreed to it
Amber: I need to know who came up with E-Quator...
Ethan: The hottest place on earth...
Amber: lol I get it! That's cute.
Rocky: Bahahaha that made it worse @Ethan #I'mDead
Me: No! @Rocky. You're #RestingInPeace, Amber is #Amused while I'm #LaughingMyAssOff
Jake: Says the girl who thinks Lilypad is rap name #HopAlong
Me: Shut up Jake! I told you that in confidence.
Jake: #Whoops
Ethan: Were you going to rap a birthday freestyle for me?
Me: You gets nada, E-quator! You're too old for birthday presents anyway!
Later on, Jasmine got back to me about the apartment.
"I'm still searching. I'm just going to figure out what's more important to me and sacrifice the rest." She sighed.
"Yeah, Jake was saying it's like a rite of passage. A shitty apartment is the first sign of adulthood."
"Well, I'm officially an adult." She said.
I laughed. "I have a proposition for you, if you're not quite ready to grow up..."
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar
His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane
Without his life-long friend, Puff could not be brave
So Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave, oh!
Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist
in a land called Honnah Lee" Puff, the Magic Dragon by Peter, Paul and Mary
Monday evening I had my first rehab session with Coach Green. I rated his strength and range of motion on both arms before we got started. I made him sit on a massage table and took his arm through a series of test. After examining his healthy side, I did the same test to his injured side.
His healthy side being a 5, his range of motion and strength on his injured side was a 2. I could move his arm with little pain to no pain, but he could not move by himself without a considerate amount of pain. That told me the bone was healed, we just had to focus on strengthening the rotator cuff muscles surrounding it.
After we went through a group of stretches to warm up the muscles, I had him start a routine of exercises that include abduction, adduction, extension and flexion. He struggled through most of them, but he did complete the entire set. Afterwards, I put him on the electrical stimulation machine with a bag of ice.
"My favorite part of rehabilitation." Coach Green sighed.
"What has Forrest been setting you up on?" I asked him as I set the machine.
"Quad-something."
"Quad combo. What else has he been doing?" I asked, sitting to the table next to him.
The training room was empty besides us. Coach Green had the latest appointment time because of his work schedule. Q was around earlier, finishing up his work out, but he already left.
Coach Green explained the workouts Forrest had him doing: Isometric exercise that had him contracting the muscles without movement. They were great for keeping the muscles from atrophy without interrupting the healing of the bone. Forrest was spot on and I told Coach Green that.
"I'll have to pass that along. He wasn't happy when I told him what that surgeon said about getting a doctor's opinion."
"Of course Dr. Lee is going to push surgeries. That's his job. It wasn't personal." I grinned.
"Still funny. I like messing with him. He's a good kid." Coach Green added.
"A kid huh? I'm gonna tell him you called him a kid."
"When you get to my age, all of you are kids to me." Coach Green said.
"Why thank you. Now I don't have to hang around the youngsters to feel hip." I grinned.
He shook his head at me. "Are you watching the super bowl?" He asked.
"Of course. Who are you going with?"
"Seattle. I think New England's going to win, but Richard Sherman is a Phi Beta Sigma. Gotta support my brother."
I nodded. "I'm going with Seattle too. I can't support Tom Brady. He and his balls creep me out."
He looked surprised for a moment and then laughed. I laughed too as Sandra approached us.
"Mr. Green, how's your first day going?"
"Coach Green, Mr. Green was my dad."
"I'm just going to have to call you Walt. I'm too used to using Mister." Sandra said, apologetically.
"Works for me. It's going good. Almost done, right?" Coach Green looked at me.
I looked at the machine. "7 more minutes."
"Great. I'm heading out. I'll see you both Wednesday. Have a great evening Lily and Walt." Sandra smiled at us before leaving.
The remaining 7 minutes we continued talking about football and college. He went to school in Illinois and moved out here for his first wife. Even after they divorced, he stayed. He said when he was a "kid", he never imagined he would want to move from the Midwest. He commented it was funny how your mindset changes as an adult.
I had to agree. I told him I moved out here for Baylor and ultimately decided I wanted to live in Texas. I didn't make that decision until I let go of the childish hope that my mom and I would reconnect after all these years.
As soon as his treatment was over, I changed clothes and headed to my brother's apartment. I hadn't seen him in a while and I needed to talk to him anyway.
"Hey bro!" I said, giving him a hug after he let me in the apartment.
"Hey sis. What's up?" He asked me, hugging me back.
"Just checking in on my favorite brother." I smiled.
"Only brother." He corrected.
"So you win by default. Still a win. Where's Jenna?" I asked, as we headed for the living room.
"At work. She's covering an evening class. She'll be home around 7 if you need to talk to her..." He said, flopping on the couch.
"No, just wondering. I wanted to talk to you." I said, sitting beside him.
"Uh-oh. What did you do? Or need?" He asked.
"Nothing... really. I don't need anything. I would like it if you helped Trevor with whatever he needs help with." I started.
Cam sat up straight and looked at me. "I thought we both agreed how stupid he was being."
"I didn't say stupid... maybe careless." I cleaned up.
"Whatever PC term you wanna use, we're supporting it now?" Cam asked.
"I figured, worst case scenario, he finishes the job, gets royally screwed right?"
"Yeah..." Cam said, frowning up at me.
"The quicker he finishes, the quicker he'll be back in Dallas, at his job. If this drags on past the leave of absence, I have a feeling he will quit his job." I continued.
"Yeah, he said he would if he didn't get the leave." Cam nodded. "I don't understand why he couldn't just do both and work from here."
"Cat. Rebuilding the site was her project. Before, Trevor was just helping her out so all Kenji's requests went through her. Now, Kenji feels comfortable enough to call Trevor and question his dedication."
"Dedication without a contract..." Cam shook his head.
"That's what I said. I just want him back here and away from that nonsense." I explained.
Cam gave me a look. "This is about his job and not about you just wanting him back? I feel between the two of us, we can force him to get something in writing. Then I'll help him finish."
"Of course that's a part of it, but Trevor has no idea what he's doing. I mean, the website stuff he's great at. He's a nerd, he'll figure out whatever he needs eventually. It's the business aspect. Can you see him negotiating a contract?"
Cam opened his mouth to respond, but I cut him off.
"No! He's Mr. Sunshine and rainbows and butterflies! Don't get me wrong, I love that, but that doesn't work in the business world. His defense of Kenji was that he's a good guy! A man he hasn't even met in person! You know he'll get taken advantage of. I just want him not to screw himself over by quitting the job he has."
"So basically, you want me to help him out without a contract or job security so he can return back to Dallas and a job he hates?" Cam stated bluntly.
I fidgeted. "He hates his job out here?"
"He said hell would be the devil and his cubicle."
I giggled. That was Trevor.
"Ok, I sounded like a major bitch. I just don't want him putting all his hopes and dreams on freelancing. One of the things that attracted me to him when we first met was how positive he is, but he's got to see the negative side of things too in order to weigh the risk."
"I'll help him, and you don't sound like a bitch. Just like a concerned girlfriend. My little sister is all grown up." He said, teasing me, pulling out his phone.
"Shut the fuck up Cam." I cursed him.
"Ah! That's the sister I know and love." He chuckled, tapping away on his phone.
"So what's up with the wedding?" I asked Cam, when he put the phone away.
"I think we have a date." Cam responded.
"Really? When?" I asked, excitedly.
"April 18th, but don't save the date yet." Cam told me.
"Ha! You said save the date! That's awesome! Where are y'all thinking?" I asked.
"A hotel for the ceremony and reception. It's the best option since everyone is out of town on my side of the family."
"Ok, so y'all are planning to visit and pick one?"
"No, between her mom and sisters, they got it figured out." Cam answered.
"So what's the hold up? Why not, 'save the date'?" I said, complete with hand air quotes.
"Jenna is insistent on making sure my mom is able to come." My brother sighed.
I flinched. Cam never talked about his mother with me, but his silence spoke volumes. As a kid, he came back from his visits with his mom even more furious with dad. It was so confusing as a child. I didn't understand why. I did now.
I didn't blame his mom for wanting nothing to do with our dad or me. It's one thing if your husband has an affair; it's a completely different thing if there is living, breathing proof of that affair. Even though I wasn't my dad's biological daughter, I understood her resentment.
"Jenna has that positive, sunshine and rainbows outlook too. As long as you work hard enough, anything is possible. I'm willing to put in the work with my mom, but she has to be willing too. That means accepting you-"
"No it doesn't." I denied, shaking my head.
"Yes it does. As a kid, I didn't know how to handle our situation. She made me handle things I shouldn't have had to. My frustration with it all came out in anger. I know how to handle it now. You're my family. My favorite sister-"
"Only sister." I interrupted.
"Still my favorite." He chuckled. "She already knows that. It's her decision. Either way, I'm good." Cam finished.
"If you're good, I'm good." I smiled.
"I'm better than good. I'm better than rainbows and butterflies. I'm puff the magic dragon good." Cam smiled.
"Yeah, you're puffing something." I laughed at him.
Tuesday, I spent my off day taking care of errands. My check engine light came on, so I took my car to the shop. I was starting to regret my decision of staying at the shop instead of waiting for someone to come with me when one of the mechanics kept hitting on me.
I pulled out my phone and focused on it, hoping that he would get the point. I tried to call Trevor, but he didn't answer. I pulled up my Facebook next. On my notifications, I saw that it was Ethan's birthday. Thank God for Facebook. Ethan didn't make a big deal of his birthday. Facebook was the only way I knew. I called him
"Hello?"
"Happy Birthday!" I exclaimed, cheerfully.
"Thank you." He responded.
"I didn't think you would answer. I was prepared to sing happy birthday on your voicemail."
"Thankfully, I answered." He replied.
"Shut up! What are you doing today?" I asked him.
"Working."
"All day?" I asked.
"Pretty much."
"Urgh, Ethan, it's your birthday. What are you doing this weekend?" I asked.
"It's my weekend with EJ."
"So when are you planning to celebrate?"
"When I turn 30, 40, and 50 like normal adults."
"Ohh, I'm Ethan. I'm such a grown up I don't celebrate birthdays." I mimicked him.
"Are you done? I have grown up things to do."
"I'm done!"
After we got off the phone, I called Brandon. He answered and I asked him if he could send me silly, embarrassing pictures as Ethan as a kid. As I was waiting for them to come, Trevor returned my phone call.
"Hey babe! What's up?" I said, emphasizing babe, seeing if the mechanic heard me. He did.
"Nothing, I just got off the phone with your brother. He helped me out with the website." Trevor said. "Thank you for talking to him."
"No problem and I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel like I don't support you. Even when you're being childish and naive-"
"Hey, I thought you supported me!" Trevor laughed.
"I do, even when we don't agree." I smiled. "I just have a question for you." I said.
"What is it?"
"Why did you stay at a job you hate? I mean, I know the first couple of years you needed the experience. Why didn't you start looking a few years ago?" I questioned.
"I don't hate it. I don't want to do it for the rest of my life though. Besides, a few years ago, I knew you were coming back to Dallas. I figured I should hold on to that connection of working with your brother until you got back."
"Aww, really? That's so creepy!"
"Creepy, naive and childish. Anymore support you want to give me?" Trevor chuckled.
"Just my unconditional love." I smiled.
"Love ya too!"
By the time I got off the phone, Brandon sent me the pictures. None of them were Ethan being silly. His friends struck silly poses around him, school picture were always awkwardly funny, and some of the haircuts and clothes were embarrassing; but none of him being an immature kid. I sighed. Not what I wanted, but they would have to do. I arranged them in a cute collage for him. I posted it on Facebook and tagged him in it. I captioned the pictures:
Happy Birthday Ethan!!! You're only as old as you feel... so apparently, you've always been 50! Lol. Make it a great one! #OverTheHill
"Thank you sir." I smirked.
My car needed an oil change and a tune up. I paid and left. I went grocery shopping and got to all my neglected chores around the apartment.
I took a break and saw I had notifications on Facebook. Mostly people posting on Ethan's birthday picture, wishing him a happy birthday. Ethan commented saying:
Ethan: I can't help it I was wise beyond my years.
Brandon: translation, lame!
Their mom also posted a comment about the fact he never smiled in pictures. I commented back.
Me: I didn't even want smiling pictures. I wanted embarrassing ones. This is all Brandon could come up with.
I was texting Jasmine about her apartment search when I got another notification.
Jake posted a high school picture of him and Ethan. He tagged me and Ethan in it. The caption read:
#HappyBirthday #HadToDoIt #BelieveICanFly
They were both doing the Michael Jordan pose, legs spread, tongues sticking out, holding a ball on outstretched arms. I busted out laughing. Then I read their shirts. It was the team's basketball shirts with their nicknames. I knew right away because Jake's read: J-money. I laughed harder when I saw Ethan's nickname: E-Quator.
I commented on the picture.
Me: Really? #E-quator!!! How did y'all come up with this stuff!?!
Ethan: It was all @Jake's idea.
Jake: You agreed to it
Amber: I need to know who came up with E-Quator...
Ethan: The hottest place on earth...
Amber: lol I get it! That's cute.
Rocky: Bahahaha that made it worse @Ethan #I'mDead
Me: No! @Rocky. You're #RestingInPeace, Amber is #Amused while I'm #LaughingMyAssOff
Jake: Says the girl who thinks Lilypad is rap name #HopAlong
Me: Shut up Jake! I told you that in confidence.
Jake: #Whoops
Ethan: Were you going to rap a birthday freestyle for me?
Me: You gets nada, E-quator! You're too old for birthday presents anyway!
Later on, Jasmine got back to me about the apartment.
"I'm still searching. I'm just going to figure out what's more important to me and sacrifice the rest." She sighed.
"Yeah, Jake was saying it's like a rite of passage. A shitty apartment is the first sign of adulthood."
"Well, I'm officially an adult." She said.
I laughed. "I have a proposition for you, if you're not quite ready to grow up..."
Monday, January 26, 2015
Sure Thing
"This love
Between you and I
As simple as pie baby
Such a sure thing
Oh is it a sure thing
Even when the sky comes falling
Even when the sun don't shine
I got faith in you and I
So put your pretty little hand in mine
Even when we're down to the wire baby
Even when it's do or die
We can do it baby simple and plain
This love is a sure thing
Love you like a brother
Treat you like a friend
Respect you like a lover" Sure Thing by Miguel
"Why are you packing so much for 2 days?" Sammy asked me Friday night as I threw clothes in my duffle bag. She was hanging out with me before she went and checked in on a couple of events going on that night.
"Because Trevor never plans anything, so I never know what to expect. Therefore, I need options." I answered, moving to my lingerie drawer.
"It's still two days..." Sammy pointed out.
"Exactly. Our last date was on a bridge playing board games. I never know what we're doing." I said, putting my intimates in the top of the bag.
"Looks like you're expecting something..." Sammy said suggestively, pulling out one of my lingerie choices.
"Not even that. We're waiting to have sex, so I have to bring options for if that happens too." I explained, snatching it from her and putting it back in the bag.
"You better make that happen, especially if you're hanging out with Jake again." Sammy commented.
I rolled my eyes. I debated telling her about hanging with Jake, but it was bound to come up, especially since I was really thinking about asking Jasmine to live with me. "We talked things out. We're not hanging out."
After our second drink, Jake left. We caught up on each other, superficial things like work and family. Nothing we couldn't find out by looking on each other's Facebook pages, but it was nice talking with no lingering feelings.
"Guys have this thing about their girlfriend talking to guys they slept with. It makes them uncomfortable. Jake should understand that." Sammy told me, making a face.
I thought about it. As soon as Jake left, I called Trevor. I told him exactly what I told Sammy: we apologized and cleared the air. Trevor was fine with everything. At least on the phone he was. I frowned.
"Trevor and I are letting things happen naturally. The last thing I wanna do is start having sex with him to solve any problems we're having. I don't think it's a problem with Trevor." I said.
Sammy cocked her head to the side. "Jealousy is normal. It's not a problem unless he starts acting like a controlling asshole like someone we know. I'm just saying all guys need a little reassuring."
I shook my head at Sammy. Obviously, Jake still pissed her off. I was over being angry and defending him. He didn't need it, so I changed the subject. "Me driving back and forth to Austin is not reassuring enough?" I asked, sarcastically.
"He drives here for you too. If y'all are not having sex, just give him a blow job." Sammy smiled.
"Thanks for the advice." I laughed at her.
"I can give you tips. I do have experience..."
"No! You giving me sex tips for my boyfriend who you slept with is never going to be cool." I exclaimed, covering my ears.
"Alright. Fine." She laughed, gleefully. "I will say, he is a very visual person-"
"Get the fuck out Sammy!" I yelled at her, in mock anger.
She just laughed harder.
Saturday morning, Justine and I headed out to Austin. I was getting the drive down to a science. I even had a "On the Road" playlist with just enough songs on shuffle so no song repeated. I was actually in the car, jamming to a song featuring Ed Sheeran, when there was a tap on my window. I jumped and looked up to see Bilal.
"What the hell?" I asked him, opening my car door.
"What are you doing?" Bilal grinned at me, holding up a trash bag.
"Nothing! I'm heading up after the song.
He listened for a moment and mumbled "garbage" before turning away.
"Music snob!" I yelled after him.
"It's a shame what people classify as music nowadays." He yelled back at me.
I turned off the car, and let Justine out so she could do her business before I grabbed my bag. When Justine finished, we headed up the stairs to Bilal's apartment. The door was unlocked, so I let myself in.
I walked back to Trevor's room. When he wasn't in the room, I assumed he was in the bathroom. I dropped my bag off and got Justine settled with her food bowl and water dish before sitting on the bed. I posted on Facebook that I made it to Austin before Trevor emerged from the bathroom.
He was still wet from a shower. He had a towel wrapped around his waist. A grin spread across my face as I examined his toned body.
"See something you like?" He teased, walking towards me.
I nodded. "I see a lot of things I like."
"Good to see you too." He said, lying me on the bed. He then laid on top of me.
"Trevor! You're getting me all wet!" I shrieked, pushing him away weakly.
There goes one outfit...
"Already? That was quick." He smiled before pressing his lips into mine. I laughed then kissed him back, rubbing my fingers through his hair. It was still short, but enough length that the curls were starting to come back. I loved it. He was still rocking the scruffy, facial hair look, but it was growing on me.
Another part of his body was growing on me as he ground his pelvis into mine. I was moving my hand to grip his towel when a loud noise by the door got our attention.
"If Lily is not on top, close the door!" Bilal said, before the door slammed shut.
Trevor cracked up laughing while I blushed.
"So embarrassing." I said, pushing him off of me. He rolled over to the side of me. I turned to face him.
"Joys of having a roommate." Trevor said when he stopped laughing, snaking his arm around my waist. He kissed me, grazing his lips against the sensitive skin of my neck.
"What do you mean?"
"Just something to think about. I never have to worry about closing doors at my apartment." He said in my neck.
"I close my doors still, so it shouldn't be a problem." I answered. "But how do you feel about that?" I said, pulling away so I could look him in the eye.
"About what?" He asked.
"Jasmine being my roommate. Jake and I hanging out."
"Jasmine being your roommate means you hanging out with Jake?" He questioned.
"No. I just meant, we made peace. So when we see each other, which will happen whether Jasmine is my roommate or not, we're going to actually speak. Maybe be friends. I'm not going to try to actively hang out with him. I know how I used to act inappropriately around other guys and-"
"Lily." Trevor stopped me, a little grin on his face.
"Yeah?" I said, after I caught my breath.
"The only concerns I have with Jasmine moving in is y'all setting expectations so it doesn't get uncomfortable again. I trust you. I made my peace with you being friends with Jake before we started dating. That hasn't changed." Trevor assured me.
I nodded and cuddled closer to him.
"Besides, why would I be jealous of someone you've already been with? There's a reason you're not together..." He said, before he returned his lips to my neck. I groaned when he began to suck.
I wanted to question his 'jealous' stance, but his mouth against me felt so good. I gripped his shoulders and mashed my body into his. That made him suck harder. I gasped.
"Are we staying in tonight?" I asked him, breathlessly.
"Wasn't planning on it..." he murmured.
"Then stop. I don't want a hickey." I said, angling my head to deny him access.
He pulled back. "Too late."
"What?!?!" I yelped, sitting up.
"Gotta mark my territory somehow." Trevor smiled.
I got up and raced to the bathroom. I read something about combing hickeys. It made sense in theory. Combing the hickey would cause the blood to spread from the area of broken blood vessels, making the bruise fade away. I never tested it out though.
I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There was no hickey on my neck. Trevor tricked me!
Jerk!
I returned back to the room to find Trevor pulling on a vintage Coca-Cola shirt.
"Not funny." I deadpanned.
He laughed. "I thought it was hilarious. You should have seen Justine when she saw you run out the room like that."
"Ha ha ha." I said sarcastically. "What's the plan for today?" I asked, getting ready to change too.
"I found this dog park I wanna take Justine too. Then we can go to this really great BBQ place. Bilal is working on tickets to a comedy show later tonight. Sound good?"
"Sounds perfect." I nodded.
I changed into a green tank top and jeans. It was nice and sunny out, but still a little cool, so I pulled on my leather jacket as well. We grabbed Justine and told Bilal we would be back. Trevor threw on his leather jacket too before we headed outside.
"That's cute trying to match me T-Rev." I said, eyeing our matching jeans and leather outfits as Trevor drove to the park.
"I was dressed first Lilypad." Trevor grinned.
"I was. You got my outfit wet, and I have a limited amount of clothes." I countered.
"So do I. I haven't washed yet."
"Your laundromat has a bar. There is no excuse for you not having clean clothes."
"It's still washing clothes. That's one thing beer does not make more fun." Trevor said as we pulled up to the dog park.
Trevor had a great idea that was shared by many dog owners. The park was filled with dogs running around, playing on obstacles or interacting with other dogs. Trevor grabbed Justine's leash with one hand and my hand in the other as we walked to the gated off section of the dog park.
Since it was gated, I felt comfortable letting Justine off her leash. I smiled as Trevor tried to entice Justine to go through the obstacles. Justine was more interested in the other dogs. I followed her as she started playing with a pinscher and a beagle in the dirt. She hadn't had much interaction with other dogs, so I was glad she joined right in. Why it had to be with one of the biggest dogs out here, I had no idea.
"Don is harmless. He's neutered, so he's not aggressive at all." A lady with sunglasses and a cap called out to us.
"I see. Looks like they're having fun." Trevor smiled at her. I nodded and watched them play.
"Is Justine... fixed?" Trevor turned to me.
"Yes. She got spayed."
"So no puppies for her?"
"No! I don't wanna deal with my own period, much less her in heat and stray dogs trying to mount her!" I said.
The owner of the pinscher overheard us and laughed. "That's right. Men will never understand that."
Trevor and I laughed and we talked to her while the dogs played. She asked us what part of Austin we stayed in. When I told her I stayed in Dallas, she gave us a sympathetic look.
"I know long distance relationships are tough." She acknowledged.
Trevor and I looked at each other. I didn't consider us long distance. The way Trevor looked, he agreed.
"I don't think it's long enough to be considered long distance. We see each other every weekend." Trevor said.
"How long have you been together?" She asked.
We looked at each other again. "Maybe 3 weeks."
"Ahhh!" She said, nodding like it all made sense and we would see it soon.
"We've know each other for years though. We've been friends forever." I added.
"Ok, I get that. My partner and I were too. It made everything much easier." She commented.
Trevor and I both agreed. We let Justine play for about an hour before we hosed her down and walked around the dog trail so she could dry.
We then went to the BBQ place next. I was surprised when Trevor said we could take Justine with us. I understood when we got there. Rudy's BBQ was attached to a gas station and country store. It had indoor and patio seating. I didn't have high hopes, but I appreciated Trevor finding a place that Justine could eat with us.
When Trevor brought the food out as I waited outside with Justine, just the smell told me I was so wrong; I shouldn't judge a book by its cover. We had super moist brisket and sausage links with bread, creamed corn, potato salad and beans. The only complaint I had was all the carbs, but I figured I worked them off chasing Justine around. Justine was loving the turkey Trevor got for her. I sampled it; it was delicious!
I was so full, I was glad when Bilal texted Trevor to tell him the show didn't start to 10pm. We had plenty of time to shower and get a nap. I set my alarm for 8, and I woke up to get changed and ready before Trevor. I wore a green, off the shoulder blouse, nude leggings, and a brown flat boots. I was done by 9, just in time to wake Trevor. He was up and changed in 10 minutes.
"I like your shirt, easy access." Trevor grinned, kissing up my exposed shoulder to my neck as we waited for Bilal to come out his room.
"Shut up Trevor." I giggled, before meeting his lips for a kiss.
"Can you two get off of each other so we can go?" Bilal said as he came out.
"We're waiting on you!" I declared.
"I'm ready."
We left and joined a group of their friends at Esther's Follies, a theatre in Austin. Cat came too. Thankfully, her roommate Amelia wasn't with her. She greeted us, cheerfully. When she and Trevor discussed the website, I turned to Bilal.
"No Amelia?" I asked.
"No. She's on a college tour with her band. They got signed by a small, indie label." Bilal explained.
"Good for her." I said, with a smirk.
"Good for you too huh?" Bilal teased.
I went back to listening to Trevor.
"... security is not my strong point, but I have a friend who can help me out." Trevor was saying.
"Cam?" I asked him. My brother's specialty was building security in programs. He had a lot of experience with his job and he also tested other's securities back in his younger rebellious days, but that wasn't important.
"He was for a little bit, until he found out I wasn't asking questions in general. Now he won't help unless I get an agreement." Trevor informed me, good humoredly, so I knew he wasn't upset.
"I'll talk to him." I promised Trevor.
The show started and it was nothing like a expected. I thought it was going to be stand up comedians, but it included skits, humorous musical numbers: including parodies and political figure impersonations. There was also a magician! It was so funny, I was crying I laughed so hard. We all had a blast. Even Cat and I were cracking up together after the show as we talked about how awesome it was.
We all went back to Bilal's apartment. Alcohol, pizza and weed were passed around and I put Justine in Trevor's room to join everyone. I passed on the weed but did indulge in a beer and a slice of cheese pizza.
"You know you want a slice of this..." Trevor offered, holding up a meaty, cheesy slice of pizza.
"Yeah, and I also want to fit into my jeans, so no thanks." I declined.
"One slice of pizza is not going to hurt you."
"Combined with nothing but carbs all day, it will. I don't think I had one fruit or vegetable today T-Rev."
He looked me over slowly. "You look perfect to me."
"Thank you." I said, leaning in to kiss him on the lips briefly. "I wanna keep it that way."
"Whoa!!!" Jeremy, one of Bilal's band mates, pointed at us from across the room. He was the lead vocalist of the band. Even if he didn't have a killer, raspy voice, his jet black hair and brooding looks could easily capture the attention of a room.
"Last summer, you told me I couldn't hookup with her 'cause she was like a sister to you. What the fuck?" Jeremy accused Trevor.
"That's right. He's like a brother to me too." I smiled.
Everyone started to laugh and make jokes. When Jeremy started composing a song, titled "Incest is Best", we retired to Trevor's room. The laughter and singing was still audible through the closed door.
"Sorry about them." Trevor said as we laid down on the bed together.
"It's ok." I sighed, moving closer to him. I stared into his eyes. The day was so much fun. I was dreading going to sleep because I knew I would have to wake up and leave.
"Everything ok?" Trevor asked.
"Yeah, perfect."
"Looks like you're thinking about something." Trevor said, stroking my hair.
"Shockingly, I'm not. I'm enjoying spending time with you. I was thinking about how much fun I had today and how simple it is with you." I commented.
"Thanks. Not the first time a girl called me simple." Trevor grinned.
I laughed. "You know what I mean. It's easy between us. Regardless of anything, I believe in us. I love you."
"I love you too Lily. Locally and at long distances..." He said, while kissing me.
I smiled, meeting his lips with mine.
"As a friend... as a brother..." Trevor continued. I pulled him on top of me, deepening our kiss.
"As more?" I asked him, when he pulled away.
He nodded. "Are you ready for more?"
I nodded too. "I've been ready."
He grinned at me. Before we could say another word, there was banging on the door. We were then serenaded with the second verse of Jeremy's song.
Trevor and I laughed at each other.
"Hotel next time?" Trevor asked.
"Definitely."
Between you and I
As simple as pie baby
Such a sure thing
Oh is it a sure thing
Even when the sky comes falling
Even when the sun don't shine
I got faith in you and I
So put your pretty little hand in mine
Even when we're down to the wire baby
Even when it's do or die
We can do it baby simple and plain
This love is a sure thing
Love you like a brother
Treat you like a friend
Respect you like a lover" Sure Thing by Miguel
"Why are you packing so much for 2 days?" Sammy asked me Friday night as I threw clothes in my duffle bag. She was hanging out with me before she went and checked in on a couple of events going on that night.
"Because Trevor never plans anything, so I never know what to expect. Therefore, I need options." I answered, moving to my lingerie drawer.
"It's still two days..." Sammy pointed out.
"Exactly. Our last date was on a bridge playing board games. I never know what we're doing." I said, putting my intimates in the top of the bag.
"Looks like you're expecting something..." Sammy said suggestively, pulling out one of my lingerie choices.
"Not even that. We're waiting to have sex, so I have to bring options for if that happens too." I explained, snatching it from her and putting it back in the bag.
"You better make that happen, especially if you're hanging out with Jake again." Sammy commented.
I rolled my eyes. I debated telling her about hanging with Jake, but it was bound to come up, especially since I was really thinking about asking Jasmine to live with me. "We talked things out. We're not hanging out."
After our second drink, Jake left. We caught up on each other, superficial things like work and family. Nothing we couldn't find out by looking on each other's Facebook pages, but it was nice talking with no lingering feelings.
"Guys have this thing about their girlfriend talking to guys they slept with. It makes them uncomfortable. Jake should understand that." Sammy told me, making a face.
I thought about it. As soon as Jake left, I called Trevor. I told him exactly what I told Sammy: we apologized and cleared the air. Trevor was fine with everything. At least on the phone he was. I frowned.
"Trevor and I are letting things happen naturally. The last thing I wanna do is start having sex with him to solve any problems we're having. I don't think it's a problem with Trevor." I said.
Sammy cocked her head to the side. "Jealousy is normal. It's not a problem unless he starts acting like a controlling asshole like someone we know. I'm just saying all guys need a little reassuring."
I shook my head at Sammy. Obviously, Jake still pissed her off. I was over being angry and defending him. He didn't need it, so I changed the subject. "Me driving back and forth to Austin is not reassuring enough?" I asked, sarcastically.
"He drives here for you too. If y'all are not having sex, just give him a blow job." Sammy smiled.
"Thanks for the advice." I laughed at her.
"I can give you tips. I do have experience..."
"No! You giving me sex tips for my boyfriend who you slept with is never going to be cool." I exclaimed, covering my ears.
"Alright. Fine." She laughed, gleefully. "I will say, he is a very visual person-"
"Get the fuck out Sammy!" I yelled at her, in mock anger.
She just laughed harder.
Saturday morning, Justine and I headed out to Austin. I was getting the drive down to a science. I even had a "On the Road" playlist with just enough songs on shuffle so no song repeated. I was actually in the car, jamming to a song featuring Ed Sheeran, when there was a tap on my window. I jumped and looked up to see Bilal.
"What the hell?" I asked him, opening my car door.
"What are you doing?" Bilal grinned at me, holding up a trash bag.
"Nothing! I'm heading up after the song.
He listened for a moment and mumbled "garbage" before turning away.
"Music snob!" I yelled after him.
"It's a shame what people classify as music nowadays." He yelled back at me.
I turned off the car, and let Justine out so she could do her business before I grabbed my bag. When Justine finished, we headed up the stairs to Bilal's apartment. The door was unlocked, so I let myself in.
I walked back to Trevor's room. When he wasn't in the room, I assumed he was in the bathroom. I dropped my bag off and got Justine settled with her food bowl and water dish before sitting on the bed. I posted on Facebook that I made it to Austin before Trevor emerged from the bathroom.
He was still wet from a shower. He had a towel wrapped around his waist. A grin spread across my face as I examined his toned body.
"See something you like?" He teased, walking towards me.
I nodded. "I see a lot of things I like."
"Good to see you too." He said, lying me on the bed. He then laid on top of me.
"Trevor! You're getting me all wet!" I shrieked, pushing him away weakly.
There goes one outfit...
"Already? That was quick." He smiled before pressing his lips into mine. I laughed then kissed him back, rubbing my fingers through his hair. It was still short, but enough length that the curls were starting to come back. I loved it. He was still rocking the scruffy, facial hair look, but it was growing on me.
Another part of his body was growing on me as he ground his pelvis into mine. I was moving my hand to grip his towel when a loud noise by the door got our attention.
"If Lily is not on top, close the door!" Bilal said, before the door slammed shut.
Trevor cracked up laughing while I blushed.
"So embarrassing." I said, pushing him off of me. He rolled over to the side of me. I turned to face him.
"Joys of having a roommate." Trevor said when he stopped laughing, snaking his arm around my waist. He kissed me, grazing his lips against the sensitive skin of my neck.
"What do you mean?"
"Just something to think about. I never have to worry about closing doors at my apartment." He said in my neck.
"I close my doors still, so it shouldn't be a problem." I answered. "But how do you feel about that?" I said, pulling away so I could look him in the eye.
"About what?" He asked.
"Jasmine being my roommate. Jake and I hanging out."
"Jasmine being your roommate means you hanging out with Jake?" He questioned.
"No. I just meant, we made peace. So when we see each other, which will happen whether Jasmine is my roommate or not, we're going to actually speak. Maybe be friends. I'm not going to try to actively hang out with him. I know how I used to act inappropriately around other guys and-"
"Lily." Trevor stopped me, a little grin on his face.
"Yeah?" I said, after I caught my breath.
"The only concerns I have with Jasmine moving in is y'all setting expectations so it doesn't get uncomfortable again. I trust you. I made my peace with you being friends with Jake before we started dating. That hasn't changed." Trevor assured me.
I nodded and cuddled closer to him.
"Besides, why would I be jealous of someone you've already been with? There's a reason you're not together..." He said, before he returned his lips to my neck. I groaned when he began to suck.
I wanted to question his 'jealous' stance, but his mouth against me felt so good. I gripped his shoulders and mashed my body into his. That made him suck harder. I gasped.
"Are we staying in tonight?" I asked him, breathlessly.
"Wasn't planning on it..." he murmured.
"Then stop. I don't want a hickey." I said, angling my head to deny him access.
He pulled back. "Too late."
"What?!?!" I yelped, sitting up.
"Gotta mark my territory somehow." Trevor smiled.
I got up and raced to the bathroom. I read something about combing hickeys. It made sense in theory. Combing the hickey would cause the blood to spread from the area of broken blood vessels, making the bruise fade away. I never tested it out though.
I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There was no hickey on my neck. Trevor tricked me!
Jerk!
I returned back to the room to find Trevor pulling on a vintage Coca-Cola shirt.
"Not funny." I deadpanned.
He laughed. "I thought it was hilarious. You should have seen Justine when she saw you run out the room like that."
"Ha ha ha." I said sarcastically. "What's the plan for today?" I asked, getting ready to change too.
"I found this dog park I wanna take Justine too. Then we can go to this really great BBQ place. Bilal is working on tickets to a comedy show later tonight. Sound good?"
"Sounds perfect." I nodded.
I changed into a green tank top and jeans. It was nice and sunny out, but still a little cool, so I pulled on my leather jacket as well. We grabbed Justine and told Bilal we would be back. Trevor threw on his leather jacket too before we headed outside.
"That's cute trying to match me T-Rev." I said, eyeing our matching jeans and leather outfits as Trevor drove to the park.
"I was dressed first Lilypad." Trevor grinned.
"I was. You got my outfit wet, and I have a limited amount of clothes." I countered.
"So do I. I haven't washed yet."
"Your laundromat has a bar. There is no excuse for you not having clean clothes."
"It's still washing clothes. That's one thing beer does not make more fun." Trevor said as we pulled up to the dog park.
Trevor had a great idea that was shared by many dog owners. The park was filled with dogs running around, playing on obstacles or interacting with other dogs. Trevor grabbed Justine's leash with one hand and my hand in the other as we walked to the gated off section of the dog park.
Since it was gated, I felt comfortable letting Justine off her leash. I smiled as Trevor tried to entice Justine to go through the obstacles. Justine was more interested in the other dogs. I followed her as she started playing with a pinscher and a beagle in the dirt. She hadn't had much interaction with other dogs, so I was glad she joined right in. Why it had to be with one of the biggest dogs out here, I had no idea.
"Don is harmless. He's neutered, so he's not aggressive at all." A lady with sunglasses and a cap called out to us.
"I see. Looks like they're having fun." Trevor smiled at her. I nodded and watched them play.
"Is Justine... fixed?" Trevor turned to me.
"Yes. She got spayed."
"So no puppies for her?"
"No! I don't wanna deal with my own period, much less her in heat and stray dogs trying to mount her!" I said.
The owner of the pinscher overheard us and laughed. "That's right. Men will never understand that."
Trevor and I laughed and we talked to her while the dogs played. She asked us what part of Austin we stayed in. When I told her I stayed in Dallas, she gave us a sympathetic look.
"I know long distance relationships are tough." She acknowledged.
Trevor and I looked at each other. I didn't consider us long distance. The way Trevor looked, he agreed.
"I don't think it's long enough to be considered long distance. We see each other every weekend." Trevor said.
"How long have you been together?" She asked.
We looked at each other again. "Maybe 3 weeks."
"Ahhh!" She said, nodding like it all made sense and we would see it soon.
"We've know each other for years though. We've been friends forever." I added.
"Ok, I get that. My partner and I were too. It made everything much easier." She commented.
Trevor and I both agreed. We let Justine play for about an hour before we hosed her down and walked around the dog trail so she could dry.
We then went to the BBQ place next. I was surprised when Trevor said we could take Justine with us. I understood when we got there. Rudy's BBQ was attached to a gas station and country store. It had indoor and patio seating. I didn't have high hopes, but I appreciated Trevor finding a place that Justine could eat with us.
When Trevor brought the food out as I waited outside with Justine, just the smell told me I was so wrong; I shouldn't judge a book by its cover. We had super moist brisket and sausage links with bread, creamed corn, potato salad and beans. The only complaint I had was all the carbs, but I figured I worked them off chasing Justine around. Justine was loving the turkey Trevor got for her. I sampled it; it was delicious!
I was so full, I was glad when Bilal texted Trevor to tell him the show didn't start to 10pm. We had plenty of time to shower and get a nap. I set my alarm for 8, and I woke up to get changed and ready before Trevor. I wore a green, off the shoulder blouse, nude leggings, and a brown flat boots. I was done by 9, just in time to wake Trevor. He was up and changed in 10 minutes.
"I like your shirt, easy access." Trevor grinned, kissing up my exposed shoulder to my neck as we waited for Bilal to come out his room.
"Shut up Trevor." I giggled, before meeting his lips for a kiss.
"Can you two get off of each other so we can go?" Bilal said as he came out.
"We're waiting on you!" I declared.
"I'm ready."
We left and joined a group of their friends at Esther's Follies, a theatre in Austin. Cat came too. Thankfully, her roommate Amelia wasn't with her. She greeted us, cheerfully. When she and Trevor discussed the website, I turned to Bilal.
"No Amelia?" I asked.
"No. She's on a college tour with her band. They got signed by a small, indie label." Bilal explained.
"Good for her." I said, with a smirk.
"Good for you too huh?" Bilal teased.
I went back to listening to Trevor.
"... security is not my strong point, but I have a friend who can help me out." Trevor was saying.
"Cam?" I asked him. My brother's specialty was building security in programs. He had a lot of experience with his job and he also tested other's securities back in his younger rebellious days, but that wasn't important.
"He was for a little bit, until he found out I wasn't asking questions in general. Now he won't help unless I get an agreement." Trevor informed me, good humoredly, so I knew he wasn't upset.
"I'll talk to him." I promised Trevor.
The show started and it was nothing like a expected. I thought it was going to be stand up comedians, but it included skits, humorous musical numbers: including parodies and political figure impersonations. There was also a magician! It was so funny, I was crying I laughed so hard. We all had a blast. Even Cat and I were cracking up together after the show as we talked about how awesome it was.
We all went back to Bilal's apartment. Alcohol, pizza and weed were passed around and I put Justine in Trevor's room to join everyone. I passed on the weed but did indulge in a beer and a slice of cheese pizza.
"You know you want a slice of this..." Trevor offered, holding up a meaty, cheesy slice of pizza.
"Yeah, and I also want to fit into my jeans, so no thanks." I declined.
"One slice of pizza is not going to hurt you."
"Combined with nothing but carbs all day, it will. I don't think I had one fruit or vegetable today T-Rev."
He looked me over slowly. "You look perfect to me."
"Thank you." I said, leaning in to kiss him on the lips briefly. "I wanna keep it that way."
"Whoa!!!" Jeremy, one of Bilal's band mates, pointed at us from across the room. He was the lead vocalist of the band. Even if he didn't have a killer, raspy voice, his jet black hair and brooding looks could easily capture the attention of a room.
"Last summer, you told me I couldn't hookup with her 'cause she was like a sister to you. What the fuck?" Jeremy accused Trevor.
"That's right. He's like a brother to me too." I smiled.
Everyone started to laugh and make jokes. When Jeremy started composing a song, titled "Incest is Best", we retired to Trevor's room. The laughter and singing was still audible through the closed door.
"Sorry about them." Trevor said as we laid down on the bed together.
"It's ok." I sighed, moving closer to him. I stared into his eyes. The day was so much fun. I was dreading going to sleep because I knew I would have to wake up and leave.
"Everything ok?" Trevor asked.
"Yeah, perfect."
"Looks like you're thinking about something." Trevor said, stroking my hair.
"Shockingly, I'm not. I'm enjoying spending time with you. I was thinking about how much fun I had today and how simple it is with you." I commented.
"Thanks. Not the first time a girl called me simple." Trevor grinned.
I laughed. "You know what I mean. It's easy between us. Regardless of anything, I believe in us. I love you."
"I love you too Lily. Locally and at long distances..." He said, while kissing me.
I smiled, meeting his lips with mine.
"As a friend... as a brother..." Trevor continued. I pulled him on top of me, deepening our kiss.
"As more?" I asked him, when he pulled away.
He nodded. "Are you ready for more?"
I nodded too. "I've been ready."
He grinned at me. Before we could say another word, there was banging on the door. We were then serenaded with the second verse of Jeremy's song.
Trevor and I laughed at each other.
"Hotel next time?" Trevor asked.
"Definitely."
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Carry On
*Mini Bonus Post
"You swore and said we are not
We are not shining stars
This I know
I never said we are
Though I've never been through hell like that
I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back
If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground
Carry on
Carry on, carry on" Carry On by FUN.
"Merry Christmas." He
said, handing me a box when I put down my phone.
I took it from him. "Thanks...
a little late though."
"Better late than never right?"
Jake said, with a little smile.
I just nodded; still shocked he was
even at my doorstep. I examined him: Running pants, t-shirt, NorthFace
jacket. Completely casual like he hadn't erased me from his life.
Why is he here?
I keep watching, waiting for the
reason to come to me. I probably would still be standing there, studying him,
until he cleared his throat.
"Can I come in? I want to
talk to you. If you want to get dressed and come out I won't take up too much
of your time." He said, while looking me over quickly.
I looked down at my clothes too. Or
lack of clothes. I was wearing a t-shirt and boxers. Trevor's were so
comfortable, I bought myself boxers to sleep in.
I moved out the way to let him in.
"Be right back. Take a seat." I said, sitting the gift on the couch
before rushing up the stairs. I found a pair of jogging pants and pulled them
on. I didn't spend any time in the mirror, but I did run my fingers through my
hair on the way down the stairs.
When I came back to the living room,
Jake was sitting on the couch with his jacket beside him. He was giving Justine
a rub down and she had rolled over on her back.
His rub downs definitely had that
effect...
"It's that easy to win her
over." I said, pushing that line of thoughts from my mind and taking a
seat in a chair safely across from him.
"Dogs are good judge in
characters." He said, giving her one last rub before she got up and hopped
up on me, putting her paws on my lap.
"Not her... you know how you
tell kids stranger danger? I have to tell her that. She runs up to strangers,
looking for attention. Attention whore." I said, petting her before she
raced off to her bowl.
"They say they act like their
owner." Jake commented.
"Her previous owner must have
been Kim Kardashian." I quipped.
"That would explain the
bling." Jake said, looking at her collar.
No, Trevor would explain the bling...
He cleared his throat and looked at
me. "Omar wanted to say thank you- I want to thank you for talking to
Kelly."
I shook my head. "No need. Besides,
it wasn't for you two. It was for her."
"I know, but still. If the
situation was reversed, I don't think I would have- I know I wouldn't have
helped." Jake frowned. "I'm sorry for how I've been treating
you."
"I get when people break up
they go their separate ways. I just hate feeling like you- regret dating me. I
thought we could be friends. I didn't think you wouldn't want me in your life
at all. It sucks, but if that's what you want-"
Jake shook his head. "It's not.
I felt like you regretted being with me. I was tired of feeling like another
person's mistake. So I pretended like I didn't care about you."
"Jake, I meant every word in my
letter. I don't think dating you was a mistake. I wouldn't take a day away from
us. The fighting and arguing I would take away, but that doesn't mean I regret
being with you." I said.
"I wish things would have
played out differently, but I don't regret being together." Jake said,
rubbing his hands against pants. When he stretched his arms, I saw a black mark
on his right bicep. I studied it, curiously.
"You have a tattoo?" I
asked, surprised.
He nodded. "Yeah. I went with
Omar. He got angel wings for his son and it just made me think about how short life is. I don't want to spend it being a dick. The tattoo is a permanent
reminder of that."
I smiled. "I don't think you're
a dick."
"No?"
"No, you need to work on
forgiveness. Jenna told me once that forgiveness is not about the other person:
It's letting go of all your anger, resentment and disappointment towards that
person."
"Remember the first talk we had at
your housewarming? You were hiding out because you didn't want to be
shrinked." Jake said, lightly.
"Might not have wanted it, but
I need it." I commented.
"Are you saying I need a psychologist?"
He asked, with a smile.
"It depends on what the tattoo
says." I smiled back. He pulled up the sleeve on his shirt and it was an
intricate compass. I walked over to examine the shading.
"What do you think? I know you’re
not a fan of tats..." Jake said, watching me as I studied the tattoo.
"I'm not a fan of meaningless tattoos. What does it mean
to you?"
"Moving forward, but in the
right direction. Letting my past show me where I don't want to go." He
said, simply. "I forgive you Lily. Even if I wanted to be mad, after what
you did for Kelly and Omar, I can't be."
"I forgive you too and I love
the tattoo." I said, smiling at him. I truly did. I ran my fingers over
the beautiful work. It looked so good on his tan skin. I believed him when he
said he was moving forward the right way.
When we broke up at Celestial park,
I was so conflicted and lost. I didn't trust him not to treat me the same way
nor did I trust myself not to put up with it. Now, it was so clear. I had no
doubt he was committed to change. I also knew I would never be that girl who
let anyone treat me badly. We both found our way.
"Now what?" Jake asked me,
looking into my eyes.
I took a deep breath. I was still
attracted to him. I mean, his face and body were amazing. It was so easy to
think of all the good times we had together, and how much better it could be
now. There was always a risk of bad habits popping back up. I knew that for a
fact. As much as I felt like I changed, I still had my moments. That's what
love is, taking chances...
...but I was taking a chance with
Trevor. I loved him.
I moved my hand away from his arm.
"Open my late ass Christmas present!"
Jake smiled. "Aged, not
late."
I sat beside him and opened the
gift. It was a gift set of Disaronno. The bottle was a limited addition,
designed by Versace and came with two glasses.
"Aged Disaronno and Versace.
Thank you." I grinned as I opened it up. "We should have opened this
up before our talk."
"Is it too late?" Jake
asked.
"Probably, but one glass won't
hurt." I took the glasses to the kitchen and rinsed them out before adding
ice. I went back to the living room. I poured us small glasses before handing
one to Jake.
"To forgiveness?" I asked,
holding up my glass.
He tapped his glass into mine before
we sipped them.
"How would you feel if I asked
Jasmine to move in with me?" I asked him.
"Better you than me." He laughed.
It was great seeing him laugh again at me.
"Shut up. I'm serious. She
didn't ask; she actually wants her own place, but the ones she looked at suck.”
“Everyone’s first apartment sucks.
It’s a growing pain.” Jake said.
“Besides the point. Would it be
weird for you?” I asked.
“Would it be weird for Trevor?” He
countered.
I watched him, cautiously. There was
nothing in his tone or mood but curiosity. “Nope. He actually suggested it.”
Jake finished his drink. “Then go
for it.”
I finished my drink too.
“Uno mas? {One more}?” Jake asked me reaching
for the bottle.
“Why not?” I asked, smiling.
“What are we drinking to?” He asked,
pouring bigger drinks.
I grabbed my glass. Our hands
touched briefly before I pulled away.
“Moving on.” I toasted him.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
The Moon Song
"I'm lying on the moon
My dear, I'll be there soon
It's a quiet, starry place
Times were swallowed up
In space we're here a million miles away
There's things I wish I knew
There's no thing I'd keep from you
It's a dark and shiny place
But with you my dear
I'm safe and we're a million miles away
We're lying on the moon
It's a perfect afternoon
Your shadow follows me all day
Making sure that I'm okay and
We're a million miles away" The Moon Song by Karen O
"You should just invite her to live with you Lily." Trevor said over the phone. I looked at my phone in disbelief.
"What?" I asked, sitting up from lying in my bed.
We were watching Her together. I had no desire to see the movie, but Trevor wanted to see it, again, so it was our little phone-movie-date night. Out of respect for our date, I didn't tell him I was looking at apartments for Jasmine while we watched. I groaned when I eliminated another prospect for Jasmine. Trevor asked me what was wrong, so I fessed up. His response that we should be roommates surprised me.
"I can tell that you want to ask her to move in. You're finding any reason to rule places out-"
"That last one had a 25% approval rating!" I protested.
"Ok... People are more likely to complain when they have a bad experience. You can't judge off that alone-"
"One person said small closets. I know how crammed for space I am with a walk in and patio storage." I argued.
"The only way she's going to get an apartment like yours, for her budget, is to have a roommate. You keep comparing all the apartments to yours for a reason: Do you want her as a roommate?" Trevor pointed out.
"Not necessarily." I replied.
"Why not? Think of how much money you would save with a roommate and a raise."
"I have my evaluation tomorrow. Don't jinx me!" I said. "Even so, I couldn't live with Jasmine. It would be... weird."
"Why? Is it weird being friends with her now?"
"Not so far."
It hadn't been. In fact, Kelly's situation brought us closer. I made sure to check in on Kelly. She was communicating, and gave herself a week before she wanted to return back to work. I warned Kelly that the smallest and strangest things could upset her and that she could give me a call no matter what if she needed me. Jasmine shared the same sentiments.
Jasmine and I were communicating daily at this point. We would give each other updates on Kelly, but we didn't just talk about Kelly. We talked about life in general. Like her break up, apartment search and new job prospects or my new relationship, my financial plan and my upcoming work evaluation. Pretty much anything and everything but Jake.
"It's not just Jasmine, but that's a big part of it. I don't know her that well. We get along, but you know I have a tendency to hold things in, get upset, then get impulsive and do stupid things-"
"Yeah, you do." Trevor butted in.
"Shut it T-Rev." I smiled.
"What? I was just agreeing with you." He chuckled.
"Whatever. Even if it was just Jasmine, I would have doubts." I continued. "But it's not. It's Jake too."
"Ok?..." Trevor trailed off.
"That's his sister. They're close knit. Like, key to each other's places, come over unannounced close knit. He hates me. Jasmine and I have an unspoken agreement not to talk about him. If I offered, Jasmine might not be ok with it anyway. Even with Kelly, Jasmine questioned my motives. It's just... messy." I explained to Trevor.
"For someone who likes contracts so much, all you would need is a spoken agreement between you two. It would only be for 5 months until your lease is up; Just enough time for you both to plan and see what y'all wanna do come the summer. Just think about it because Jasmine is not going to ask..." Trevor suggested. "You should also think about how your boyfriend has a place; which you have the key to and an open invitation to come over anytime you want."
I couldn't stop the grin that spread on my face. "I know, but Adam Levine is all the way in California and his new wife wouldn't be very happy with me if I just dropped by..."
"I know what you mean. Scarlett Johansson is always trying to drop by to see me. We have an agreement that she has to call before she comes now."
"I knew that was the only reason you wanted to watch this stupid movie!" I declared. "Your obsession is getting out of hand. It's just her fucking voice in this movie!"
"Shh, you're making me miss it." Trevor hushed me.
The next morning I had my evaluation at work. I was pretty confident I had to be getting a good review. Sandra never had any concerns or even questions about my scheduling or charts. I had no complaints with co-workers or patients. I never called in. With Derek, any and all the conversations he had with me were informal, so nothing was documented as far as my performance with him.
Even with knowing all this, I was nervous. Something about being judged just never sat right with me. I couldn't sleep when I was anxious, so I woke up early and took Justine for a walk around my apartment complex. When I came back, I took an extra long shower and made myself bacon and eggs for breakfast.
After eating, I put on my freshly pressed work polo with my favorite pair of fitted khakis: professional, but they made my butt look amazing. I applied a little make up; foundation, mascara and pink tinted chapstick, and put my hair in a side braid. This was the most I ever got 'glammed up' for work, but it gave me an extra boost of confidence.
"Someone looks ready for a raise..." Jordan greeted me with a smile when I walked into the clinic.
I grinned at her. "I couldn't decide if I should go for professional-I-deserve-this or homely-I-need-this raise look."
"You chose correctly. No one likes a beggar. Good luck." Jordan smiled.
I laughed at her. "Thanks."
I had an appointment with Dr. Lee, Sandra and the new patient Forrest referred to us: Coach Walter Green. He broke his collarbone but decided against surgery and just wanted to rehab. He still had to have a consultation with a doctor to diagnose his injury before we could start rehabbing.
Dr. Lee was very brief. We looked at the X-ray together and saw that his clavicle was already healing after 4 weeks in a sling.
"Forrest said it would heal on its own. I didn't want to take that many days off work for surgery. It's basketball session." Coach Green explained.
"Who is Forrest?" Dr. Lee asked, putting away his charts.
"He's an athletic trainer at the high school." I explained.
"Athletic trainers only assess, never diagnose. Always see a doctor." With that, Dr. Lee bid us a good day in left.
I held back my smirk at that obvious dig at Forrest's profession. Shade alert!
"Surgeries do speed up the healing process but are not always necessary." Sandra started. "Lily, why don't you go over the rehab?"
"Sure." I then went over his 12 week rehab plan. The main focus was regaining range of motion and strength. At the present, the bone was healing, but the tissues surrounding it were injured as well and we had to start working on that. I advised him that he could start cardiovascular exercise if he felt up to it.
"I know you said basketball season is starting. I've seen how crazy it gets on the football sidelines. Is it like that at basketball games?" I asked him, when I finished going over the plan.
"Not as bad, but it has it's moments. Its varsity boys." Coach Green said, proudly.
"I understand. Just take it easy. I still want you to wear the sling, especially on the sidelines, ok?" I instructed him.
"Sounds good doc." He nodded.
"Well I'll let you two work out the schedule. Lily, come find me when you are done. Pleasure meeting you Mr. Green." Sandra said, extending her hand to shake his.
"Coach Green or Walt." He corrected her, shaking her hand.
"Coach Green." She said, with a smile, before leaving.
"Now that they're gone, I have a bone to pick with you young lady." Coach Green said.
I looked up from my appointment book and asked, "Uh-Oh. It's not the broken one?" I smiled.
"You took one of my best players from me." He accused.
I thought about it. "Darren?"
"Yes."
"He is no longer under my care, so whatever decisions he makes are his own."
"He told me you said he needs to choose a sport."
I nodded. I didn't, but Christy, his first therapist, probably did. He didn't need to risk his knee any more than necessary with two competitive sports.
"He would have to pick eventually right? He can't play both in college."
"It's not college yet. He was my star forward."
"He is committed to football. His knee didn't need extra strain if he wants to play at a college level. Besides, I'm sure with you as their head coach, you will lead them to victory without him." I smiled.
"Now I see why Forrest likes to hang out with you: You're both bull shitters."
I laughed at him. We were going to get along just fine. We set up to meet Monday and Thursday evenings. It worked best with his basketball schedule. He was an algebra teacher as well, but school was over by 3pm. His basketball practice lets out around 4:30pm, and his games were on Tuesdays with tournaments on Fridays and Saturdays.
After we set up the appointments, I let him go and joined Sandra in the office. We then headed to Ann, the HR manager's, conference room.
"Good morning." Ann greeted us cheerfully, before asking us to sit in the chairs around the round table.
After telling her how my day was going so far, she dove right in.
"Well Lily, I just wanted to say that you are a wonderful asset to our team. You hit the ground running when you first joined us and took the change in management with stride. My only comment would be to continue what you're doing and you will have a long career with us." Ann told me.
"Thank you. I appreciate that." I smiled.
Ann turned to Sandra.
"I want to add to that by saying you made my transition easier. This is a team environment, but ultimately, your choices are your own. It makes my job so much easier when I have team members I trust to manage their time, patients and skills properly."
"The only thing I would ask you do is step up more. If you see something that needs to be corrected or could be done better, speak up. Team members come to me asking about techniques and ideas about managing difficult patients that I see you demonstrate regularly. I would like you to share some of that knowledge. It will only make the team better." Sandra spoke to me while I nodded enthusiastically.
"Of course." I agreed.
Sandra turned back to Ann.
Ann turned to me. "Like I said, you are an asset to our team and we want to keep you here for a long time. We acknowledge your hard work and would like to offer you an 8% raise."
I did the calculations in my head. That would be a little less than $500 extra a month. That was Sammy's portion of the rent right there! I smiled brightly.
"Thank you so much. I'm looking forward to a long career here as well." I said, before standing up and shaking both of their hands before leaving. I held back on doing my happy dance, but headed straight to Jordan before my next appointment.
"How'd it go?" Jordan asked me.
"Happy hour, first round on me!" I smiled.
"Yay!!!"
We planned to meet up at Memphis in Addison to celebrate. Q must have had a great review too, cause he offered to buy the second round.
I went home and changed into denim jeans, a navy long sleeved plum top, and black ankle boots. As I unbraided my hair, I talked to Trevor. I sent out a text to everyone, telling them I got a raise and invited everyone to celebrate. He told me congratulations and promised we would celebrate this weekend.
After I got off the phone, I headed to the bar.
"So what percentage did you get?" Derek asked me as Amber, Jordan, Steven and I found a group of tables by the bar.
Normally, I wouldn't tell anyone how much I was getting paid, but Derek, being my former boss, already knew, so I leaned in close and told him.
"Nice." He said, nodding his head. "They keep it around 5%-6% the first year. They really want you to stay."
I beamed as Q and Denise joined us at the table. I didn't know when I first moved to Dallas if I wanted a career at a sports clinic, but I was enjoying it so far and I was good at it. I really was content in all aspects of my life. It was an amazing feeling.
"Where are Kendall and Heather?" I asked them as we looked over the shots menu with Amber. I wanted to wait until all my coworkers got there before we ordered.
"Kendall's not coming. Obviously, he didn't get a raise." Q smiled.
"He shouldn't-" Robert started, while everyone laughed. "Not like that. I was told I wasn't eligible for a raise until after 6 months." He stated.
"They told me the same thing." I nodded in agreement.
"That's right." Derek confirmed. "They want to see your work ethic."
"I'm guessing he heard something he didn't want to hear." Jordan smiled.
We ordered shots and Rocky, Jasmine, and Sammy joined us when they got off work,
"So how much are y'all getting paid?" Sammy asked with a smile once she had a drink.
I laughed. "None of your business. But when I heard it, I was *this* close to doing the Shmoney dance in front of them."
Q burst out laughing. "What do you know about the Shmoney dance?" He asked me.
"Everything." I smiled.
"I still haven't figured out how to do it." Amber laughed. "I've seen Vines of it every day since the video came out."
"Wasn't that Diddy's dance first?" Robert asked.
"Naw son. That dance has been around forever. This new rapper brought it back and it went viral." Q explained, his east coast accent coming out. I laughed at him
"I wanna see it!" Jasmine laughed too.
"Lily knows everything about it. I wanna see her do it." Q replied.
"No one is even dancing yet. Besides, I can't do it to this song." I declined.
"If you knew what you were doing you could do it to any song." Q challenged me.
"Shut up!" I exclaimed.
"I know if you tip big enough, they take request." Sammy grinned.
"No Sammy." I said, downing the rest of my shot. "Let's go Q! I'm not dancing alone."
He stood up and we went out to the empty dance floor. We did the Shmoney for a while before everyone else joined us. I was laughing and having a good time til I noticed Rocky frowning at her phone. She was still seated at the table. She had been on it all night. I left the dance floor to join her.
"What's up?" I asked her, sitting beside her, trying to peak at her phone.
"Nothing." She said, putting her phone away. "Why did you tell Bilal I wanted him to commit in college?" She asked me.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "He told you that?"
"Yes." She said simply, crossing her arms while studying me.
"He was talking about Noorie trying to change him, and how it didn't work out with you for that same reason. I told him that wasn't what happened. I really just told him that so he would talk openly with Noorie, not talk to you about it." I explained.
"Well, he did." Rocky grumbled.
"Be right back!" I said, before leaving her.
I stepped outside with my phone to call Bilal. That was another unspoken agreement: Don't tell Rocky what I told you in confidence! I was surprised Rocky didn't go off on me. I wasn't giving him the same courtesy.
He didn't answer so I called Trevor. I figured if he wasn't home with Bilal to hand over the phone, I should give Trevor fair warning before I asked his roommate what the fuck was his problem.
"Hey sugar momma." Trevor answered the phone.
I laughed. "Such a sweet talker. You know how to romance a woman." He laughed and I heard a lot of wind in the background.
"What are you doing?" I asked him, curiously.
"Just sitting on the balcony. Looking at the moon." Trevor answered, quickly.
"Why?" I asked him. There sure was a lot of wind...
"Because it's nice. Can you see it?" He asked after it quieted down.
I looked up towards the sky. I stepped away from the building and finally I got sight of it.
"I do..."
"Even though we're apart, we're staring at the same moon. Kinda sweet." Trevor commented.
I smiled. "Yeah, sweet and a little creepy."
"See what happens when I try to get romantic with you? You kill it." Trevor laughed.
I laughed too. "I'm sorry. I loooove the moon. And I love you."
"I love you too. What's up? Are you still out?" He asked me.
"Yes. In fact, I'll give you a call when I get home." I didn't want to disturb his moon gazing with my complaining. Besides, I was taking his advice and looking on the bright side. Hopefully Bilal got his closure and would stop sabotaging relationships.
"Ok. Take care."
I got off the phone and joined my friends back in the bar. I forced Rocky to put away her phone and dragged her out to the dance floor. We joined Amber and Q as he taught her the Shmoney dance. We had a blast.
First thing when I got home, I called Trevor. I was on the phone with him when I heard a knock at my door.
"One second. There's someone at my door." I said.
"Were you expecting someone?" Trevor asked.
"No..." I said, smiling. I automatically thought it was Trevor. That was just like him to try to surprise me.
I looked through the peephole then stepped away from the door. I unlocked the door as I said simultaneously on the phone, "T-Rev, I'll call you right back."
"Who is it?" He asked, concerned as I opened the door.
"Jake." I said, as my eyes met Jake's.
My dear, I'll be there soon
It's a quiet, starry place
Times were swallowed up
In space we're here a million miles away
There's things I wish I knew
There's no thing I'd keep from you
It's a dark and shiny place
But with you my dear
I'm safe and we're a million miles away
We're lying on the moon
It's a perfect afternoon
Your shadow follows me all day
Making sure that I'm okay and
We're a million miles away" The Moon Song by Karen O
"You should just invite her to live with you Lily." Trevor said over the phone. I looked at my phone in disbelief.
"What?" I asked, sitting up from lying in my bed.
We were watching Her together. I had no desire to see the movie, but Trevor wanted to see it, again, so it was our little phone-movie-date night. Out of respect for our date, I didn't tell him I was looking at apartments for Jasmine while we watched. I groaned when I eliminated another prospect for Jasmine. Trevor asked me what was wrong, so I fessed up. His response that we should be roommates surprised me.
"I can tell that you want to ask her to move in. You're finding any reason to rule places out-"
"That last one had a 25% approval rating!" I protested.
"Ok... People are more likely to complain when they have a bad experience. You can't judge off that alone-"
"One person said small closets. I know how crammed for space I am with a walk in and patio storage." I argued.
"The only way she's going to get an apartment like yours, for her budget, is to have a roommate. You keep comparing all the apartments to yours for a reason: Do you want her as a roommate?" Trevor pointed out.
"Not necessarily." I replied.
"Why not? Think of how much money you would save with a roommate and a raise."
"I have my evaluation tomorrow. Don't jinx me!" I said. "Even so, I couldn't live with Jasmine. It would be... weird."
"Why? Is it weird being friends with her now?"
"Not so far."
It hadn't been. In fact, Kelly's situation brought us closer. I made sure to check in on Kelly. She was communicating, and gave herself a week before she wanted to return back to work. I warned Kelly that the smallest and strangest things could upset her and that she could give me a call no matter what if she needed me. Jasmine shared the same sentiments.
Jasmine and I were communicating daily at this point. We would give each other updates on Kelly, but we didn't just talk about Kelly. We talked about life in general. Like her break up, apartment search and new job prospects or my new relationship, my financial plan and my upcoming work evaluation. Pretty much anything and everything but Jake.
"It's not just Jasmine, but that's a big part of it. I don't know her that well. We get along, but you know I have a tendency to hold things in, get upset, then get impulsive and do stupid things-"
"Yeah, you do." Trevor butted in.
"Shut it T-Rev." I smiled.
"What? I was just agreeing with you." He chuckled.
"Whatever. Even if it was just Jasmine, I would have doubts." I continued. "But it's not. It's Jake too."
"Ok?..." Trevor trailed off.
"That's his sister. They're close knit. Like, key to each other's places, come over unannounced close knit. He hates me. Jasmine and I have an unspoken agreement not to talk about him. If I offered, Jasmine might not be ok with it anyway. Even with Kelly, Jasmine questioned my motives. It's just... messy." I explained to Trevor.
"For someone who likes contracts so much, all you would need is a spoken agreement between you two. It would only be for 5 months until your lease is up; Just enough time for you both to plan and see what y'all wanna do come the summer. Just think about it because Jasmine is not going to ask..." Trevor suggested. "You should also think about how your boyfriend has a place; which you have the key to and an open invitation to come over anytime you want."
I couldn't stop the grin that spread on my face. "I know, but Adam Levine is all the way in California and his new wife wouldn't be very happy with me if I just dropped by..."
"I know what you mean. Scarlett Johansson is always trying to drop by to see me. We have an agreement that she has to call before she comes now."
"I knew that was the only reason you wanted to watch this stupid movie!" I declared. "Your obsession is getting out of hand. It's just her fucking voice in this movie!"
"Shh, you're making me miss it." Trevor hushed me.
The next morning I had my evaluation at work. I was pretty confident I had to be getting a good review. Sandra never had any concerns or even questions about my scheduling or charts. I had no complaints with co-workers or patients. I never called in. With Derek, any and all the conversations he had with me were informal, so nothing was documented as far as my performance with him.
Even with knowing all this, I was nervous. Something about being judged just never sat right with me. I couldn't sleep when I was anxious, so I woke up early and took Justine for a walk around my apartment complex. When I came back, I took an extra long shower and made myself bacon and eggs for breakfast.
After eating, I put on my freshly pressed work polo with my favorite pair of fitted khakis: professional, but they made my butt look amazing. I applied a little make up; foundation, mascara and pink tinted chapstick, and put my hair in a side braid. This was the most I ever got 'glammed up' for work, but it gave me an extra boost of confidence.
"Someone looks ready for a raise..." Jordan greeted me with a smile when I walked into the clinic.
I grinned at her. "I couldn't decide if I should go for professional-I-deserve-this or homely-I-need-this raise look."
"You chose correctly. No one likes a beggar. Good luck." Jordan smiled.
I laughed at her. "Thanks."
I had an appointment with Dr. Lee, Sandra and the new patient Forrest referred to us: Coach Walter Green. He broke his collarbone but decided against surgery and just wanted to rehab. He still had to have a consultation with a doctor to diagnose his injury before we could start rehabbing.
Dr. Lee was very brief. We looked at the X-ray together and saw that his clavicle was already healing after 4 weeks in a sling.
"Forrest said it would heal on its own. I didn't want to take that many days off work for surgery. It's basketball session." Coach Green explained.
"Who is Forrest?" Dr. Lee asked, putting away his charts.
"He's an athletic trainer at the high school." I explained.
"Athletic trainers only assess, never diagnose. Always see a doctor." With that, Dr. Lee bid us a good day in left.
I held back my smirk at that obvious dig at Forrest's profession. Shade alert!
"Surgeries do speed up the healing process but are not always necessary." Sandra started. "Lily, why don't you go over the rehab?"
"Sure." I then went over his 12 week rehab plan. The main focus was regaining range of motion and strength. At the present, the bone was healing, but the tissues surrounding it were injured as well and we had to start working on that. I advised him that he could start cardiovascular exercise if he felt up to it.
"I know you said basketball season is starting. I've seen how crazy it gets on the football sidelines. Is it like that at basketball games?" I asked him, when I finished going over the plan.
"Not as bad, but it has it's moments. Its varsity boys." Coach Green said, proudly.
"I understand. Just take it easy. I still want you to wear the sling, especially on the sidelines, ok?" I instructed him.
"Sounds good doc." He nodded.
"Well I'll let you two work out the schedule. Lily, come find me when you are done. Pleasure meeting you Mr. Green." Sandra said, extending her hand to shake his.
"Coach Green or Walt." He corrected her, shaking her hand.
"Coach Green." She said, with a smile, before leaving.
"Now that they're gone, I have a bone to pick with you young lady." Coach Green said.
I looked up from my appointment book and asked, "Uh-Oh. It's not the broken one?" I smiled.
"You took one of my best players from me." He accused.
I thought about it. "Darren?"
"Yes."
"He is no longer under my care, so whatever decisions he makes are his own."
"He told me you said he needs to choose a sport."
I nodded. I didn't, but Christy, his first therapist, probably did. He didn't need to risk his knee any more than necessary with two competitive sports.
"He would have to pick eventually right? He can't play both in college."
"It's not college yet. He was my star forward."
"He is committed to football. His knee didn't need extra strain if he wants to play at a college level. Besides, I'm sure with you as their head coach, you will lead them to victory without him." I smiled.
"Now I see why Forrest likes to hang out with you: You're both bull shitters."
I laughed at him. We were going to get along just fine. We set up to meet Monday and Thursday evenings. It worked best with his basketball schedule. He was an algebra teacher as well, but school was over by 3pm. His basketball practice lets out around 4:30pm, and his games were on Tuesdays with tournaments on Fridays and Saturdays.
After we set up the appointments, I let him go and joined Sandra in the office. We then headed to Ann, the HR manager's, conference room.
"Good morning." Ann greeted us cheerfully, before asking us to sit in the chairs around the round table.
After telling her how my day was going so far, she dove right in.
"Well Lily, I just wanted to say that you are a wonderful asset to our team. You hit the ground running when you first joined us and took the change in management with stride. My only comment would be to continue what you're doing and you will have a long career with us." Ann told me.
"Thank you. I appreciate that." I smiled.
Ann turned to Sandra.
"I want to add to that by saying you made my transition easier. This is a team environment, but ultimately, your choices are your own. It makes my job so much easier when I have team members I trust to manage their time, patients and skills properly."
"The only thing I would ask you do is step up more. If you see something that needs to be corrected or could be done better, speak up. Team members come to me asking about techniques and ideas about managing difficult patients that I see you demonstrate regularly. I would like you to share some of that knowledge. It will only make the team better." Sandra spoke to me while I nodded enthusiastically.
"Of course." I agreed.
Sandra turned back to Ann.
Ann turned to me. "Like I said, you are an asset to our team and we want to keep you here for a long time. We acknowledge your hard work and would like to offer you an 8% raise."
I did the calculations in my head. That would be a little less than $500 extra a month. That was Sammy's portion of the rent right there! I smiled brightly.
"Thank you so much. I'm looking forward to a long career here as well." I said, before standing up and shaking both of their hands before leaving. I held back on doing my happy dance, but headed straight to Jordan before my next appointment.
"How'd it go?" Jordan asked me.
"Happy hour, first round on me!" I smiled.
"Yay!!!"
We planned to meet up at Memphis in Addison to celebrate. Q must have had a great review too, cause he offered to buy the second round.
I went home and changed into denim jeans, a navy long sleeved plum top, and black ankle boots. As I unbraided my hair, I talked to Trevor. I sent out a text to everyone, telling them I got a raise and invited everyone to celebrate. He told me congratulations and promised we would celebrate this weekend.
After I got off the phone, I headed to the bar.
"So what percentage did you get?" Derek asked me as Amber, Jordan, Steven and I found a group of tables by the bar.
Normally, I wouldn't tell anyone how much I was getting paid, but Derek, being my former boss, already knew, so I leaned in close and told him.
"Nice." He said, nodding his head. "They keep it around 5%-6% the first year. They really want you to stay."
I beamed as Q and Denise joined us at the table. I didn't know when I first moved to Dallas if I wanted a career at a sports clinic, but I was enjoying it so far and I was good at it. I really was content in all aspects of my life. It was an amazing feeling.
"Where are Kendall and Heather?" I asked them as we looked over the shots menu with Amber. I wanted to wait until all my coworkers got there before we ordered.
"Kendall's not coming. Obviously, he didn't get a raise." Q smiled.
"He shouldn't-" Robert started, while everyone laughed. "Not like that. I was told I wasn't eligible for a raise until after 6 months." He stated.
"They told me the same thing." I nodded in agreement.
"That's right." Derek confirmed. "They want to see your work ethic."
"I'm guessing he heard something he didn't want to hear." Jordan smiled.
We ordered shots and Rocky, Jasmine, and Sammy joined us when they got off work,
"So how much are y'all getting paid?" Sammy asked with a smile once she had a drink.
I laughed. "None of your business. But when I heard it, I was *this* close to doing the Shmoney dance in front of them."
Q burst out laughing. "What do you know about the Shmoney dance?" He asked me.
"Everything." I smiled.
"I still haven't figured out how to do it." Amber laughed. "I've seen Vines of it every day since the video came out."
"Wasn't that Diddy's dance first?" Robert asked.
"Naw son. That dance has been around forever. This new rapper brought it back and it went viral." Q explained, his east coast accent coming out. I laughed at him
"I wanna see it!" Jasmine laughed too.
"Lily knows everything about it. I wanna see her do it." Q replied.
"No one is even dancing yet. Besides, I can't do it to this song." I declined.
"If you knew what you were doing you could do it to any song." Q challenged me.
"Shut up!" I exclaimed.
"I know if you tip big enough, they take request." Sammy grinned.
"No Sammy." I said, downing the rest of my shot. "Let's go Q! I'm not dancing alone."
He stood up and we went out to the empty dance floor. We did the Shmoney for a while before everyone else joined us. I was laughing and having a good time til I noticed Rocky frowning at her phone. She was still seated at the table. She had been on it all night. I left the dance floor to join her.
"What's up?" I asked her, sitting beside her, trying to peak at her phone.
"Nothing." She said, putting her phone away. "Why did you tell Bilal I wanted him to commit in college?" She asked me.
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "He told you that?"
"Yes." She said simply, crossing her arms while studying me.
"He was talking about Noorie trying to change him, and how it didn't work out with you for that same reason. I told him that wasn't what happened. I really just told him that so he would talk openly with Noorie, not talk to you about it." I explained.
"Well, he did." Rocky grumbled.
"Be right back!" I said, before leaving her.
I stepped outside with my phone to call Bilal. That was another unspoken agreement: Don't tell Rocky what I told you in confidence! I was surprised Rocky didn't go off on me. I wasn't giving him the same courtesy.
He didn't answer so I called Trevor. I figured if he wasn't home with Bilal to hand over the phone, I should give Trevor fair warning before I asked his roommate what the fuck was his problem.
"Hey sugar momma." Trevor answered the phone.
I laughed. "Such a sweet talker. You know how to romance a woman." He laughed and I heard a lot of wind in the background.
"What are you doing?" I asked him, curiously.
"Just sitting on the balcony. Looking at the moon." Trevor answered, quickly.
"Why?" I asked him. There sure was a lot of wind...
"Because it's nice. Can you see it?" He asked after it quieted down.
I looked up towards the sky. I stepped away from the building and finally I got sight of it.
"I do..."
"Even though we're apart, we're staring at the same moon. Kinda sweet." Trevor commented.
I smiled. "Yeah, sweet and a little creepy."
"See what happens when I try to get romantic with you? You kill it." Trevor laughed.
I laughed too. "I'm sorry. I loooove the moon. And I love you."
"I love you too. What's up? Are you still out?" He asked me.
"Yes. In fact, I'll give you a call when I get home." I didn't want to disturb his moon gazing with my complaining. Besides, I was taking his advice and looking on the bright side. Hopefully Bilal got his closure and would stop sabotaging relationships.
"Ok. Take care."
I got off the phone and joined my friends back in the bar. I forced Rocky to put away her phone and dragged her out to the dance floor. We joined Amber and Q as he taught her the Shmoney dance. We had a blast.
First thing when I got home, I called Trevor. I was on the phone with him when I heard a knock at my door.
"One second. There's someone at my door." I said.
"Were you expecting someone?" Trevor asked.
"No..." I said, smiling. I automatically thought it was Trevor. That was just like him to try to surprise me.
I looked through the peephole then stepped away from the door. I unlocked the door as I said simultaneously on the phone, "T-Rev, I'll call you right back."
"Who is it?" He asked, concerned as I opened the door.
"Jake." I said, as my eyes met Jake's.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)