It Was Always You

"All my hidden desires finally came alive
No, I never told lies to you so why would I start tonight?
Hazel eyes, I was so color blind, we were just wasting time
For my whole life, we never crossed the line
Only friends in my mind but now I realize,
It was always you
Can't believe I could not see it all this time, all this time
It was always you
Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied, satisfied
It was always you, you
No more guessing who
Looking back now I know it was always you, always you"  It Was Always You by Maroon5



“Can I get a cherry Coke please?” I asked the bartender when he finally got to me. I stood at the corner of the bar, trying to calm down.

"Thanks." I said, taking the drink after paying and tipping the guy. I sucked it down and tried to relax. I wanted alcohol, but I didn't want a repeat of my birthday party, so I stuck to the comforting fizz of cola.

 It wasn't working. I was still pissed off.

I keep telling myself that it was a long time ago. Trevor and I were completely different people back then. Everything happened for a reason. Why should I be mad when those decisions ultimately led us to being together now?

Because I was mad.

I put the glass down and headed for the exit. I needed fresh air. I stepped outside and tried to use my brother's technique of taking deep breaths. I walked to the side of the building, wrapping my arms around myself to keep my bare arms warm.

"Here Lily." I heard Trevor say from behind me, as he put my jacket on my shoulders.

"Thanks." I muttered, pushing my arms through the jacket and avoiding his eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Trevor asked.

I shook my head.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked.

I shook my head again.

"What do you want Lily?" He asked, softly.

I sighed. "To go back in there, to have fun and celebrate and not ruin your night but I can't!"

"Then talk to me. I can't have fun knowing you're mad at me." Trevor said.

"I don't want to be. I want to let it go, but I'm fucking pissed. I don't understand how you could do that to me!" I cried.

"Did you- did you have feelings for Christian?" Trevor asked.

"No! That what pisses me off so much. I had feelings for you!" I pointed out.

When Trevor just looked at me, I continued.

"I wanted to be with you, even though you didn't. You showed me, over and over again that you didn't have feelings for me. I kept holding out hope that you would realize you wanted to be with me. I would have turned Christian down so I didn't mess up any chance I had with you, but that wasn't a problem cause you told him not to date me. Why would you say that?" I asked him.

"Lily, you were my best friend. I had feelings for you." Trevor answered. "You meant something to me-"

I snorted. "Sure I did. I meant so much that you dated girls that were nothing like me! You paraded them in my face when you knew how I felt about you!"

"I didn't put you in the same group as those girls. I didn't want to treat you like that. I couldn't let anyone treat you like that. I didn't want to see you get hurt." Trevor explained.

"So you made sure I didn't date? You don't think that hurt? I felt pathetic that I wasn't even asked on a date, especially after I lost weight. It sucked watching you still go out with girl after girl. It was constant rejection! It made me feel like there was something wrong with me! I still feel insecure around the Barbie type girls you're so fond of." I exclaimed.

 "There was nothing wrong with you. The only excuse I have was I was young and dumb. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't want you dating guys that didn't deserve you, but that wasn't my decision to make. I'm sorry." Trevor apologized.

I nodded but said nothing. Trevor moved in close to me, hugging me with his arms around my waist.

"I felt it back then. I thought I was just overprotective of you cause you were so sheltered and shy when we first met. I didn't realize my feelings until after you moved. I'm not young and dumb anymore. I know I need you in my life." Trevor confessed, resting his forehead against mine.

"You're beautiful..." He continued, pressing his lips against mine. "And funny... and kind...and a little crazy." He listed off as he kissed me between each one. I smiled at the last one. I knew I could be. "But I love that about you Lily. I always have."

"You're not as young and dumb." I teased him, smiling as I wrapped my arms around his neck.  "But you're sweet. I love you too." I said, kissing him this time.

He kissed me back, sliding his tongue in my mouth. Warmth spread from my stomach to my entire body. Trevor backed me into the building so he could grind his body against mine. I moaned as the warmth turned into burning, like a fire consuming me.  I turned my face away, panting.

"I want you Lily." Trevor groaned in my ear, still holding my body trapped between him and the building, his hardness rubbing against me.

"I can tell." I grinned, running my fingers through his hair.

"Can we get a room?... Maybe where Corey and Sammy are staying?" Trevor asked, pulling away slightly so he could look me in the eyes.

My body tensed and I nodded and said with no hesitation, "That sounds perfect."


***Just a short mini bonus. There will be a full post tomorrow. Just didn't want to give all the Lily and Trevor haters too much hope : -)

As always, thanks for commenting and reading!