***Mini Bonus****
"So how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air" No Air by Jordin Sparks ft Chris Brown
Not going to lie, all throughout the rest of my day at work after seeing the post, I plotted what song I could post for Omar. I settled on "Fuck You" by Lily Allen. By the time I finished with my last appointment, I was laughing at the whole situation. Omar and Sammy were both playing a game I wanted no part of. As soon as I got off work, I checked my Facebook to see if Sammy took down the video. I saw I had a message from Jake instead. I opened it right away.
Hey Lily. If you didn't see Omar's post, disregard this. If you did, I'm so sorry. I had no idea he was posting that and already took care of it.
I looked on Jake's news feed. Omar's post was no longer there. The video on the other hand was still up. I texted Sammy.
Me- Still need to take the video down
In the meantime, I untagged myself in the video and wrote Jake back.
I'm sorry too. I'm working on the video.
Jake wrote me back immediately.
You can keep the video up if you answer my calls.
I took a deep breath and put my phone back away. I didn't know if I was ready for that. It would be too easy to get caught up in how much I missed him and not how many problems we had. We needed to talk it out first.
I went home and went straight to Sammy's room. She was in her mirror, holding up a dress to her body.
"Hey." I said, after she invited me in. "Did you take down the video?" I asked, knowing the answer.
"Did you see what his friend posted?" Sammy said, not even looking up from the mirror. "I have a screen shot-"
"I saw it. Just like the video, it was childish. Jake already took care of him, so take down the video." I said.
She finally looked up at me. "You're getting back together with him, aren't you?"
"Sammy, that has nothing to do with this." I sighed, exasperated.
"Of course it does. Last night, you had fun. You relaxed. You weren't worried about him. Don't go back to being that pathetic girl that lets him control you." She lectured me.
"Believe me, no one is going to control me. Any relationship decisions I make will be my choice. So take the fucking video off or my first relationship decision will be unfriending and blocking you." I told her, crossing my arms. She glared at me, but I stared right back. Our stare down was broken when she put the dress down.
She grabbed her phone. After a moment of playing with her phone, she looked up at me. "Done." She snapped.
"Thank you." I said, forcing a cheerfully tone, turning to leave.
"Just like you can make your own relationship decisions, so can I. And I don't like you very much when you're with him." She stated as I walked out.
"What does that mean?" I asked her, turning to face her.
"It means you're not the only one that can unfriend someone." Sammy finished, dismissing me and picking up the dress.
I left her room in a huff.
She could be such a bitch sometimes...
I went to my room and got dressed to go to Darren's football game. My phone rang, I answered it when I saw it was Rocky.
"Hey. Whatcha up to tonight?" She asked me.
"Gonna to Lewisville to watch Darren's game. Other than that, nothing."
"Want some company?"
"Absolutely, I'll be over in like 30 minutes."
As promised, I was at her house in 30 minutes.
"Where's Brandon?" I asked her, as I declined a drink. We really needed to get on the road.
"He went out with Jake." She answered nonchalantly.
I couldn't help the surge of pain that hit me. I didn't wanna think about Jake going out. I know, I went out too, but knowing Jake and his history with women, it would be a matter of time before he moved on to the next one. I wished I could feel anger at that, but I only felt hurt.
"Apparently, it's one of the first times he's left his apartment, outside of work. Brandon was getting concerned. He literally had to drag him out." Rocky informed me.
You would think that would make me feel better knowing he was taking the break up as bad as me, but it didn't. It made me feel worse. I took a deep breath.
"Are you ready? Let's go." I said quickly, wanting to focus on Darren and football and anything else but Jake.
"Wait. Someone else is joining us." Rocky smiled at me.
I groaned. "Who is it? Peyton and Chris? Cause I can't handle them right now. Really no couples."
"No. You're going to be happy to see him." Rocky said.
"Trevor?!?" I asked, surprised. I already asked him if he wanted to go, but he was heading to Austin for the weekend. I was sure that was why Rocky called to check in on me.
"No. You know he's going to Austin."
Thankfully, the front door opened so I didn't have to guess anymore. I was pleasantly surprised to see Ethan and EJ.
"EJ!!!" I said, giving him a big smile. "How ya been?" I said, leaning over to give him a big hug.
"Good." He said, hugging me back
"Good?!? I've been busy and sad at not being able to see you!" I said, dramatically.
EJ gave me a half smile. "I've been sad and busy too."
"Aww, whatever!" I exclaimed, tickling his sides. He laughed and maneuvered away from me. He ran to Ethan's side. I looked up at him and smiled.
"Hey Ethan. You look nice." I lied.
He looked better than nice. He was freshly shaven and his hair looked recently cut. He looked amazing in a smart, black suit. It accentuated his lean, toned frame and looked so good against his skin tone. He looked immaculate every day, but I could tell by the special attention to details, he must have a special event to get to.
"What's the occasion?" I asked, focusing on his face.
"Anthony's firm opens next week. The company is throwing a big event for our clients and potential new clients." Ethan explained.
"That's great." I nodded.
"Tell her the better news!" Rocky said, smiling at us.
"I sign my contract for partner next week too." Ethan told me.
I smiled at him. "Wow Ethan! Congratulations. You so deserve it. I'm not even going to point out how I told you so."
Ethan laughed. "Thanks for not pointing it out Lily."
I laughed too. I almost forgot how attractive his laugh was to me. The fact that I hadn't seen it in so long added to it' appeal. Kinda breathtakingly beautiful. An awkward moment passed, with us just smiling at each other.
"C'mon EJ. Let's put your bag in the guest room. Then we're gonna go watch a football game with Lily." Rocky instructed EJ. He made a face, but followed her.
"Your son is unpatriotic with his dislike of football." I joked to Ethan.
"I thought baseball was America's past time." Ethan countered.
"Key word: was." I said.
Ethan shook his head. "How are you doing? With Jake and everything?"
"You can point it out how you said it was going to be nothing but drama." I smiled, weakly.
"That was me being bitter. I'm sorry to hear that you are having problems. I wish you nothing but happiness." Ethan said.
My smile grew sincere. "I'm working on it. Thank you. I wish the same for you."
"I'm working on it too." He said, giving me the same half smile EJ just gave me. I smiled to myself.
When Rocky and EJ came back, Ethan bent down to talk to EJ.
"Be good for Racqelle and Lily ok?" When EJ nodded, Ethan stood up straight. "I'll see you later."
"Tomorrow morning." Rocky corrected. "We'll be sleep by the time you finish up."
"I'll call." Ethan said.
"Don't. You'll just wake me up." Rocky said.
"For the love of all things good, don't wake her. Everyone will feel her wrath." I said, making a horror face. EJ laughed.
"Fine. Have a good night. I'll see you first thing in the morning." He turned to me. "Bye Lily."
"Bye Ethan." I said. Rocky looked at me.
"Ready?" I asked before she could say anything.
She nodded.
We had fun at the game. EJ wasn't interested in learning the game of football, but he did like the band. He was intrigued by the drumline at halftime. After a snack of Sour Punch Straws and Sprite, he was drumming along with the band on his legs. I was impressed by his rhythm. He definitely needed a drum set. After the game, we said "Hi" and "Bye" to Forrest.
On the drive home, EJ feel asleep in the car. I got out to helped Rocky carry him in. I froze in place when I saw Jake and Brandon sitting on the couch. My heart felt like it stopped when our eyes met. I had to remind myself to breathe.
"Lily? What the- oh!" Rocky said from behind me when I abruptly stopped. She figured out what was wrong when she walked in front of me. Jake immediately got up and walked my way. I focused on the top of EJ's head as I finally convinced my legs to start moving.
"Let me help-" Jake started.
"I got him." I said quickly, as I took EJ to the guest room. I took my time getting him into bed as I tried to pull myself together. I didn't need to hyperventilate in front of Jake. That would be too fucking much.
I took off EJ's shoes and tucked him in. When I looked up, I saw Jake standing in the doorway, watching my every move. His eyes were so intense, I wished I would have focused on them to read his mood, but I was distracted by his busted lip and bruise forming under his right eye.
I got up, turned off the light in the room, and shut the door. When I stepped into the hallway, Jake didn't budge an inch. He just kept staring at me. I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and touching his handsome, injured face. He flinched, so I pulled my hand away. He stopped me, grabbing my hand.
"What happened?" I asked, my voice tight and breathless. Which made sense, I felt like I couldn't breathe when he touched me.
"Omar and I had a disagreement." He said, strained. I didn't know if it was because he was hurt or because I had the same effect he had on me.
"About what?" I asked, knowing the answer.
"You."
I sighed. "That's a stupid reason to fight with him."
"You're the only thing worth fighting for Lily." Jake started.
I tried to pull my hand away. "I want my hand back." I said, looking into his eyes.
"I want you back." He said, closing the distance between us.
"You need ice." I said, not backing away from him.
"I need you Lily." He breathed, before pressing his lips into mine, softly, giving me every opportunity to pull away. I didn't.
Even though the embrace was gentle, it was desperate. I tasted the desperation on his mouth, as he brushed his lips into mine, trying to coax me into returning his kiss. I felt it in his touch, as he stroked my hair behind my shoulder so he could cup my face. I smelt it in his scent, along with hints of alcohol and cigarette smoke.
I finally moved my lips from his.
"Lily, I love you." He panted against my lips. I heard the desperation in his voice. I saw it in his eyes before I closed my eyes and kissed him back.
37 comments:
Ok, but you need to talk to him! Don't give in too easy!
Yay! Jake & Lily... I hope they sleep over & Ethan sees them tomorrow!
Another mini bonus????
That Was The Worst Post ever!!!! Let me guess they'll now have a talk and lily with try and act all firm by telling him how he needs to be on his best behavior. Hitting omar because he went to far thinking he was a friend was stupid and not heroic just shows he took his anger at his break up out in a abusive way. Lily is stupid right now, seriously one month relastionship and that much drama, ugh I can't even right now so mad
Give in to easily?! They were a wreck together. How would you even salvage such a unsteady relationship when in one month they had so much crap going on
I hope she bangs him and then tells him she never wants to see him again.
I hope they give it another shot.. I think a lot of assumptions are being made here. It needs to be played out. We have no idea who started the fist fight between Jake and Omar. very well could've been Jake but we don't know yet. I think calling Jake abusive is a little much too. He was controlling a little bit, but that was brought to his attention and he realized it. Still don't understand why he kept so much from Lily about Cara, so he really needs to explain himself.
I like your thinking!!!
I agree! I also think Lily needs to open up about how his controlling tendencies made her feel. I hope they make the arrangements to have that dinner and talk.....
Hahaha! I agree! Bye Jake.
Really, saying Jake is abusive is taking it too far. Yes, he's controlling but we did get a post about his POV and this "control" is him thinking that this is the way to address their issues. Needless to say that it backfired and its having a negative effect. A guy who doesnt like it when his GF flirts or dances with another guy is normal. The only difference is that some guys chose to tell their GF that it mskes them feel uncomfortable, while others just try to supress it, act all cool about it.
This was horrible. It's like watching a friend make the worst mistakes and there's nothing you can do about it
Agree or more like get him heated then walk out
Nobody said abusive they said getting in fight was taking out his anger in an abusive manner
I totally agree, sometimes we do things and we don't realize we are doing them. I am the type of person that believes in the ones I love and I give second chances, now if he doesn't change and goes back to doing the same things that's different. I hope he can see that he needs to communicate better and not be so controlling. And Lily needs to learn to speak up, if something bothers you talk about it, don't just bottle it up inside until one day you blow up. When you love someone, you love them even with their imperfections, he's not perfect and neither is she. But I think they can work together, they had some good moments. And yes there was some pushing, but there's nothing wrong with pushing the ones you love to be better. I have been pushed more than once out of my comfort zone and I've made some good memories because of that.
And I see nothing wrong with her calling him when she is hanging out with someone from the opposite sex, it shouldn't be something you do cause you don't want to make him mad, it should be something you do out of respect. Cause I'm sure she would like a heads up if he were hanging out with girls.
Luita
Isn't that what Ethan did to her the last time they were together? He told her she didn't need to keep in touch after he banged her. Ohhhh but I forget he's Saint Ethan to almost everyone. Hahahaha
Does anyone else think, that this was all set up by Rocky & Brandon? That's probably why rocky didn't want Ethan coming back that night. Just too suspicious that Jake is there when they got back.
Luita
There is something wrong with pushing your significant other to do something they don't want to. If your girlfriend is the jeans and t-shirt type, don't try to make her dress sexy because that's what you want. It's one thing to be supportive but forcing someone to do something by threatening to leave is utterly wrong. Jake knew damn well what he was doing. He isn't that dense. It's one thing to give someone a second chance but when your one month relationship has been muddled with non-stop drama from jump it's time to cut your losses. Lily and Jake never talk. Whenever there's an issue they have sex or make out and all is well. Everything Jake did was carefully manufactured. As for him and Omar, a real man would have put a stop to Omar a long time ago. Letting him talk shit about Lily for so long and even in her presence shows that Jake does not respect her or their relationship.
One month relationship, why do we keep forgetting that way to crazy too soon. I hope they didn't set her , as a friend I would never incourage that
Anon at 3:12 you wrote exactly what I was thinking, totally agree. Jen
Nope not me, don't like ethan or jake
I thought janay explained that he didn't leave because she wouldn't wear the dress, it was a joke, he just went to park his car in the back. He was already back inside when she called him. She did say that when she found him he had already eaten one of the sliders. I'm probably the one that is dense because I didn't think the relationship was as terrible as everyone says. He did help her out come to terms with her miscarriage, and that opened the lines of communication between her and her aunt. And they had some good talks, when he opened up about his family, when they hang out with his family they seemed to have a good time also.
Luita
Definitely.
Joke or no joke, Lily changed into that outfit because she thought he was serious. Not only that, Lily found herself constantly second guessing herself because she didn't want to upset Jake. Personally, I couldn't be with a man like Jake but to each their own. In terms of her miscarriage, she was forced to share that with him. It's not like it just came up in conversation. She shared her darkest, deepest secrets while he told her nothing about his past! In fact, he demanded that she tell him everything. Lily is friends with his sister and that made it easier for her to connect with his family. Yes they had a good time but doesn't make this relationship less toxic. The bad outweighs the good. Octoberfest and Jake demanding that she hand over her phone in front of everyone. The clothing debacle. Demanding that she tell him everything. Running off whenever he's pissed at Lily. Lily trying to cater to him - in Vegas she let Omar's comments slide and even wanted to get PERMISSION from Jake to go with Malik to the exhibit. He's her boyfriend not her father! Posting their relationship status on Facebook was a control tactic by Jake. His getting upset when she cooked him dinner, got dressed up in a sexy outfit and he showed up to find her talking to Sammy's ex on the porch? Running off and acting like a child? How about that Sunday when they watched football, had sex, he disappeared, she texted him and no response til the next day? WTF? Where was he? I know that if Lily did that he would be livid. Why put up with a man that treats you like a second class citizen. She deserves a lot better.
She does deserve a lot better, for such a short time it should have been mostly good not mostly bad
Completely agree with Melissa. The first few months of a relationship is the honeymoon stage when both parties are on good behavior. If they have so many issues in a month, what's going to happen when the honeymoon stage wears off.
I agree with Luita, as usual. & Amon 2:28!!!!
Great post! Thanks for the bonus - can't wait for next week!
Either that or Brandon being a guy really didn't even think about Lily showing up. Maybe his thought process was going out was a bust but at least Jake wasn't wallowing at home alone if he was with Brandon at their place? Or maybe it was a Brandon set up just because Rocky doesn't come across as the set your friends up type...
No don't give in!!!
NOO! I hope they don't end up together. Jake was wayy to controlling and tried to change lily in so many ways. I really hope she doesn't give in :(
I concur
I'm not saying this as team Jake or in favor of anyone else. But there's one thing I've learned about relationships. I've been in one steady relationship for many years.. since the volatile age of 16. When you love someone, there's a lot of passion that goes into it. God knows I've said and done some things out of the heat of the moment that I'm not proud of. I've been hurt and done some hurtful things. And without making those mistakes, I wouldn't be able to grow and mature and become a better person for myself and the love of my life. I've needed a second chance or two to prove myself here and there. Relationships are not perfect, theyre raw and vulnerable...and sometimes you have to show the ugly sides of yourself too. I'm not saying all actions are justified and there aren't limits and boundaries. I'm just saying sometimes love gets a little crazy. And that's what I love about this blog..it feels so real. It isn't all rainbows and butterflies.
My thoughts exactly. Also, the first few months of a relationship are the hardest. You start learning about the other person, their flaws included. And then you decide whether your love for them is worth it. That Lily is thinking of giving Jake another chance is really how real life is. And remember, this is her first relationship, and from what we read so far, probably his second (Cara being the first, and we saw what image he got out of it). Relationships do have an effect on someone, ok it doesnt excuse their actions, but it does influence it. Lily for example, has been saying nob-stop "oh but what do i know" or something along those lines, since the breakup. And it was only a month, but it rly affected her. I can only imagine what Jake went threw, especially that he was so young. But we always tend to defend the main character, or the girl.
Abusive, an is emotionally abusive, has been said to describe Jake a few times
Aww....I like them together. I mean they have a lot of issues but I don't agree with any of their friends because they don't know the whole story of either of them. I think they can help each other grow and learn from their past mistakes....sometimes that means that they make some mistakes on the way but hopefully they work out.
THAT'S BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE.
I'm so glad, I'm not the only one that feels that way. Other people talk about the honeymoon period. Maybe it's because they are faking it and not letting their true colors show, but yeah it's hard to be Ina relationship specially when you are getting to know each other's likes and dislikes and reactions to different situations. Jake's first gf was it very nice and I agree Lily shouldn't have to pay for it, but isn't that what's happening to Lily with Jake being her first bf. She doesn't know how to change her interactions with people of the opposite sex, she shouldn't be as touchy and flirty specially not with someone she slept with and admitted to Jake that they have history. They both have some growing up to do and I hope they can do it together.
Luita
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