Sunday, September 21, 2014

Complicated


Why is everything with you so complicated
Why do you make it hard to love you
Oh I hate it
Cause if you really wanna be alone
I will throw my hands up Cause baby I tried
Everything with you is so complicated
Oh why
You're not easy to love
You're not easy to love, no- Complicated by Rihanna

Friday night, Darren had a home game. So even though work was long and exhausting, I planned to go. Jordan was on vacation this week, so I missed our lunches or random breaks just to chat. I didn't realize how much those small interactions kept me upbeat. I ate my lunches at work and chatted with Quintin and Heather, two physical therapists. Mostly just commiserating about the heavier workload. Rumor had it that Ann had interviewed one potential new therapist. So if all went well, we would at least have some help soon.

I got home around 6. Just enough time to shower and change into skinny jeans and a maroon razorback tank, one of Darren's school color, before heading to the game. The cold front moved through, so it was back to being warm and humid. I didn't complain. The weather man promised no more triple digit heat, so I took what I could get. I was pulling my hair up into a ponytail when I received a text.

Jake- Hey. Working late?

Me- No. I'm off. Getting ready to head to Lewisville for Darren's game.

Jake-Cool. Give me 10 minutes and I'll come pick you up.

Me-Sounds good :-)

After I fixed my bangs out my face and stepped into the heels Jake brought me, I went downstairs to wait for Jake. He called me on the my way down the stairs. I ignored it and just left. Talk about perfect timing.

Jake was sitting in his SUV, frowning at his phone. I tapped on the hood before walking to the passenger side. He watched me as I hopped in.

"I was just texting you about not answering your phone." He informed me.

I leaned over to give him a kiss.

"I was walking out the door when you called. So you know where you can put that text." I said, pulling back to put on my seatbelt.

"Delete pile?" He asked, starting up the car.

"Sure, that's one place. Not where I was going to suggest." I replied.

He smiled as we took off. I navigated to the school stadium and we headed inside. I already knew Rachel wasn't coming. She had a dinner with her parents. Forrest had invited me to hang out on the sidelines if I promised to water the benches (give water to whatever group was sitting on the bench) and try not to distract the boys. As tempting as that sounded to relive my high school fantasy, I was going to have to pass to hang with Jake. Tragic.

The team was already on the field stretching. Well, most of the team. I saw Darren heading out of the tunnels to the locker room. His girlfriend waited at the end. As we walked to the stands, I called out to him.

"Hey superman! Go stretch!!!" I yelled.

Darren looked over at us and grinned. "I'm going. I had to get my ankles taped. Are you coming too? Coach Sullivan said you'll be helping out." He asked.

"Nope. Tell him unfortunately, I'm taking my talents to the stands. Good luck!" I answered.

"Alright. See ya later!" Darren said. He waved to his girlfriend before running to join his team.

"Whoa, he's fast." Jake commented.

"You have no idea." I said, watching as Darren's girlfriend gave me an evil eye. This time I didn't stare back. I just ignored her.

We went to the concession stand right before half-time. Darren didn't have any touchdowns, but he had a lot of yards. He had a couple runs for over 30 yards. I held on to Jake as we made our way down the stairs.

"Why did you wear those shoes?" Jake asked as he saw me struggling down the stairs.

"Practice. If I can master the stairs, I can master anything." I told him.

"Looks like the stairs are mastering you."

"Shut Up!" I exclaimed.

We were standing in line when I received a call from Sandra, my new boss. I groaned and stepped out of line.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Lily. You're on call this weekend correct?" She asked.

"I am." I informed her.

"Ok. Since we've had to juggle things around, I scheduled two appointments for you tomorrow. We already had to cancel so I need you to be extra accommodating for the time being." She explained.

"Ok. What time?" I said, calmly. Inside, I wanted to scream. This whole week I was nothing but accommodating. Scheduling weekend appointments was a bit too much for me. Especially if they weren't my patients nor my decision, but I knew I had to be flexible for the time being. So I sucked it up and took one for the team.

By the time I got off the phone, Jake was waiting for me with snacks. I joined him sighing.

"I have two appointments tomorrow." I told him.

"Why?" Jake asked as we walked back.

"I guess Sandra is trying to make up for the appointments that we missed. I just hope weekend appointments aren't a permanent change." I explained.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" Jake asked.

"No. We can watch the rest of the game."

"I know we can. I just wanna have time to actually go out with you. While you're awake and not tired."

"I'll stay up, even if i have to take a 5 hour energy." I smiled at him.

We went back to the stands and watched the rest of the game. It was a blow out, Darren's team easily winning 35-7. Jake and I talked about how good Darren was.

"He definitely has talent. I've seen less talented kids get scholarships to D1 schools."

"I think he's leaning towards OU. I'm already working on my 'I saved his knee' speech." I joked.

"I bet you are." Jake smiled at me.

At the end of the game, I waved goodbye to Forrest and Darren. Jake wanted to get a jump on traffic and I was inclined to agree, even though I wanted to chat with Forrest.

Since I knew had to be at work in the morning, we drove to my neck of the woods in Addison. We found a late night Cajun restaurant called Shuck and Jive. We planned on grabbing a bite to eat then heading back to my place, until I heard a live band covering an LMFAO song at Memphis, the separate but conjoint bar. Two of my guilty pleasures: Sky Blu and cover bands. I looked longingly at the doorway connecting the two areas.

Jake grabbed my hand and led me over. The doorman checked our ID, took Jake's card to open us a tab and pointed us to a corner table. I followed Jake as he navigated us through, nodding my head to the music. We got settled and ordered food and drinks when the waitress made her way over.

I scanned the bar, deciding I found my new favorite place in Addison. It was a smaller bar, but the crowd was a mixture of age and ethnicity. Everyone looked like they were having a blast. How could you not when a cover band was rocking out to Black Eyed Peas "I Gotta Feeling"?

And the food was delicious. We shared a Cajundillas, a chicken quesadilla with a Cajun twist, to start. It was one of the best quesadillas I've ever tasted. Jake got a shrimp po-boy and I got a spicy Jambalaya pasta. My pasta was definitely better than the po-boy, but it was all fantastic. We ordered drinks and jammed out to the music. Or at least I did. Especially when the band started playing a melody of Michael Jackson, including the song "P.Y.T". Jake laughed at me when I threw my hands up and started bouncing in my chair.

"Can I get this dance with your girlfriend? I promise to bring her back?" An older guy asked Jake. He looked in his 50s and a drink or two past tipsy, but harmless enough. Jake gave me a questioning look. I shrugged, indifferent.

"Please. Before she hurts herself in that chair. But it's at your own risk." Jake warned him.

The guy let out a bellowing laugh and I swatted Jake playfully. I followed him to the makeshift dance floor in front of the stage. We danced together to the music. For an older guy, he had some good moves. When the song ended, I thanked him for the dance. I made eye contact with Jake, and gestured asking him if he wanted to dance. He shook his head.

On my way back to my table, a guy grabbed my arm. "Wanna dance?"

"No thanks." I said, pulling away. I could tell by the way Jake's face darkened, he was not having that. I quickly returned to him.

He scooted my chair next to his.

"From now on, you dance only with me. Right here." Jake said, pulling me in for a kiss.

I kissed him back.



I knew I had to be at work in the morning, but we stayed until closing, drinking and dancing at our table. We had so much fun. The pain I felt in the morning was worth it. I made the water extra hot in the shower and blasted some Queen to wake me up. I was in the middle of my cover of  "Don't Stop Me Now" when Jake delivered McDonald's hot cake platter, coffee, and a 5 hour energy. I thanked him profusely and scarfed down my food and the shot before we left.

I got there earlier so I could read over my charts. The first guy had nerve blocks for carpal tunnel and the second guy was rehabbing a dislocated ankle. I followed both rehab plans exactly how they were developed. I left detailed notes about their progressions only because I had no idea if they were my patients or not now. I was finishing up in the office when Denise, a therapist that has been working at the clinic for a year now, joined me.


"Lily, was this your weekend to work?" Denise asked me, pulling up a chair.

"Yes, how bout you?" I responded.

"No. I volunteered." Denise answered.

"That was nice of you" I said.

"No, smart. Now that the boys club is over, I'm planning to get in on her good side." She said.

"What do you mean?"

"Derek let Steven and Quintin do whatever they wanted cause they were friends. They also got their pick of patients. We should do the same with Sandra, Girl Power!!!" Denise explained.

I nodded. I wanted to tell her I would take the boy's club over girl power if that meant no more weekend appointments and long days, but I kept my  negative comments to myself. Even if he didn't want to be my friend, I still was going to take Ethan's advice.

 I went home and flopped on the bed. I didn't even change out of my clothes. I was still on call so I might have to go back in. Normally I would silence my phone while I napped, but I set it right next to me on the bed. The 5 hour energy timed out and I fell fast asleep. I was awoken 40 minutes later by my phone ringing. I had two missed calls from Jake.

"Hello?" I said, groggily.

"Hey, you sleeping?"

No shit

"Trying to..." I grumbled.

"Jasmine was going shopping for Vegas. I told her you would want to go."

"Not right now. I'm beat and I'm still on call. So do you mind not calling until I call you back?" I asked.

"Fine."

I put the phone down and slept for a blissful 2 more hours. I woke up refreshed and relieved. No way Sandra would schedule Sunday appointments. So I should be good, unless there was an emergency.

I immediately called Jake. No answer. I sighed and texted him.

Me: The no sleep bitch is gone. Sorry I was so grumpy. Give me a call.

I answered all my other texts. Sammy wanted me to call her. Lamar, Patrick, Corey and her were going to Oktoberfest in Addison and she wanted to know if Jake and I wanted to join. I called her.

"I'm downstairs." She answered.

I smiled. "Okay."

I got up and joined her downstairs. She was folding clothes.

"Urgh. I'm sorry I've been so shitty. That's was my job."

"It's all good. I only washed my clothes anyway." Sammy responded.

"Good. Now I don't feel bad." I pulled up my Facebook. I could tell by Malik's status that Jake and them were hanging out.

"So Oktoberfest?" Sammy asked.

I nodded. "I'm down."

I didn't get why Jake couldn't return my call. I felt weird making plans without him, but I couldn't help it if he was too busy to even text. I texted him, letting him know my plans.

I went upstairs and got dressed in a graphic black and white tank and white denim short shorts. I put on some sandals and headed downstairs. Corey was driving, so Sammy and I pre-gamed on flavored Vodka before Corey showed up to pick us up. We piled into his car.

I smiled proudly, as Sammy and Corey seemed so comfortable and happy in each other's company. I gave myself a mental pat on the back. We followed Lamar and Patrick over. I hadn't seen them in forever. I was glad to be hanging out with them.

"We understand. When you're in a new relationship, that's all you worry about, but don't be mad we like Sammy better." Patrick commented.

Sammy laughed.

"That's fair." I smiled.

We got there right in time to watch the beer barrel rolling contest. Sammy and I found a spot while the boys went to grab beers. They brought us back traditional beer steins filled with German beer. We drank and laughed watching the contest. Sammy and I cooed over all the chubby cute toddlers in traditional German clothing. After we finished our first beers, we went over to the huge, air conditioned tent. That's where all the food was set up.

On the way, Jake finally returned my call.

"Hey. Where are you?" Jake asked me.

"Oktoberfest."

"I know. Where? We're here too." Jake said.

"Oh. The main tent. Where are you?"

"Heading to the main tent." Jake answered.

"Ok."  I described to him what side we were on. A few minutes later, I saw Jake, Omar, Kelly, Colten and Malik heading our way. I greeted them before introducing everyone.

"This is so cool. I'm so sad this is my first time coming. I've heard about it, I just never came." Kelly gushed.

"Mine too. I lived in Dallas my whole life, and I've never even heard about it. We live like 10 minutes away." Sammy explained to her.

"Have y'all ate?" Jake asked.

"Nope. That's what we're doing now." I answered.

We walked around, deciding what German delicacies we wanted to try.

"Thanks for calling me back." I said, sarcastically to Jake as we stood in line.

"I did. Not everything revolves around your schedule." Jake told me.

"I'm sorry, what were y'all up to so you couldn't text me back?" I asked.

"Maybe I was asleep too." He said, simply.

I bit my tongue and focused on the menu. We ordered a beer bratwurst platter that included german potato salad, sauerkraut, a roll, german chocolate cake, an apple strudel and a laugen pretzel. After receiving our food, we joined everyone. We found a spot to sit and watch the dancers as we ate.

"Who's gonna go dance the polka?" Kelly asked us all with a grin.

"Maybe after a couple more of these." I said, holding up my beer.

"I'm with you." Corey agreed.

"I'm too fucked up for that." Sammy said, taking a bite of roasted corn. Obviously she pre-gamed a little too much.

"I didn't know you polka'd" Malik told Jake, laughing.

"I don't." Jake dead panned. I laughed and he smiled at me.

"That's ok. We can just trade them back for the night." Sammy winked at me.

"What does that mean?" Omar asked Sammy. I looked at Sammy with wide eyes, but she just laughed and continued.

"I dated Jake. Lily dated Corey. We can just swap them back!" Sammy laughed.

"Sammy, shut up. It was not like that and you know it." I tried to laugh it off. But my laugh was as awkward as the mood now. Jake was so tense. I could tell he was barely holding it together. He was glaring at Corey.

"Jordan tried to set us up. We texted. That's it." Corey said, not backing down from Jake's glare. I wish he would and let me handle it. And shut up. Now Jake looked pissed.

Jake finally looked away from Corey to stare at me. "Let me see your phone." He demanded.

"Jake..." Malik started as I reached into my pocket to pull it out.

"Fuck that Lily. Don't show him shit." Sammy exclaimed.

I sent her a dirty look before handing him the phone. Once he saw the texts, he would chill the fuck out and we'd be ok. I could live with the embarrassment. I didn't want another fight.

"There y'all are!" Patrick exclaimed as he and Lamar joined us.

Lamar must have sensed the mood. "What's up?" He asked, questioningly.

"Jake is going through Lily's phone cause she had the audacity to have a life before him." Sammy declared. I sent her a desperate look.

"Didn't y'all sleep together?-" Patrick asked. Lamar cut him off by shhhing him.

"Yeah. We did." Sammy glared at Jake.

Jake finally looked up at me. He handed me my phone. "Are you ready to go?" He asked me. I nodded and stood up.

"Lily, stay." Sammy pleaded.

"It's cool. I'll see you at the apartment. Bye y'all." I said, walking off with Jake.

"Were you going to go out with him?" Jake asked me as he stalked away.

"Yes, but then we slept together and I didn't wanna be with anyone else." I said, rushing to keep up with his long strides.

"You told him your dating situation was complicated. What does that mean? I'm a complication?" Jake asked.

"No! You just weren't my boyfriend back then. I didn't wanna be rude and tell him I liked you better." I said.

He finally stopped when we approached his car.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It just really wasn't a big deal to me-" I started.

"It's a big deal to me. When I'm constantly finding out about you with other guys. I can't deal with that."

"Jake you looked through my phone. There is no one else." I promised.

He stared at me. "I hope not."

We left together. We went to his apartment. He took me to bed. Our love making was short, intense and passionate. He held me in his arms afterwards. He fell asleep as I laid there, staring up at the ceiling. And as hard as I tried to convince myself that everything was ok, I couldn't shake the feeling of uneasiness that settled in the pit of my stomach.

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

I had no issue with the fact that Jake wanted to see the texts but to so blatantly embarrass Lily like that in front of her friends? Lack of respect. They need to be done.

Anonymous said...

I kind of want Ethan to show up & punch Jake in a moment of him being a jerk to Lily.

Unknown said...

Wow! Jake really needs to come clean about why he is so overbearing! I know its hard not to carry baggage into a new relationship, but he is doing more damage than good. Even the reading of the texts could've waited until they were behind closed doors, it had to be so embarrassing for Lily.
Jake either needs to come clean or this needs to end. Lily has suffered enough in her past that she doesn't need this now. I know not every relationship is easy, but it almost seems like he will give her a prescribed list of people she's allowed to hang out with, and isolate her from everyone else....

Anonymous said...

Jake and Lily need to end, he is such a jerk!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, any other guy would have made a joke out what sammy said. Is she supposed to make a record of any guy she talked to before him, wait don't forget to that one waiter who smiled at her once. Even if you try to blame his insecurities on the past that's no excuse to drag her out of the event especially in front of their friends. Get out lily!!!

Anonymous said...

See her texts, they've barely been dating. Maybe if he asked I'm private but I'd still feel like he was a Jerk

Anonymous said...

Totally agree! I was #TeamEthan in the beginning....I think that they belong together,,,, but the longer she is with Jake I keep rooting for him to come clean to Lily about his past. I guess I like the underdog :S

OnlyOneJanira said...

Ugh Jake makes it so hard for me to root for him. I think he took it too far this time. :/

Anonymous said...

I want to like jake, but he is just wayy to controlling. Like someone above said, he could have asked later to see the texts and not ruined the whole rest of the day for him and lily by making them leave.

Anonymous said...

I can't. These posts are getting so hard to read because of how he treats lily and how she just meekly takes it to keep him with her. He's mentally abusive. And she's so desperate to be with him that he can act and do what he wants amd she just accepts it!!! And everyone saw what an asshole he is!!! This hurt to read. Because it's me. The whole life dooesnt revolve around her, but she had to be at his beck amd call, do as she's told.. I hate him. Amd it makes me sick to my stomach with memories. As I said before. You're an amazing writer to be able to connect so strongly with your readers.

K

Anonymous said...

I'm glad lily finally realizes something is wrong with the way the relationship is going. Sex does not fix anything

Anonymous said...

Just because he comes clean about a girlfriend that cheated on him shouldn't give him a free pass

Kel said...

This time he really crossed the line. You shouldn't have to show your phone or constantly explain everything. Sure as hell don't need to be dragged away. I'd dump him flat! Nobody is worth walking on eggshells for

Anonymous said...

Such an unhealthy relationship.

Anonymous said...

Lily why would you give in to him that easily? It's not like Jake doesn't have a past also? Come on, so now Lily was supposed to not have a past at all? Why is Jake being such a jerk lately, it can't all be because of his past with Cara. What is going on? I wish you would do a post about jake's pov so I could know what's going on?!!!? He was just so much nicer when they started dating and he said he didn't want to push her so she wouldn't pull away and that's what he's doing now.
Luita

Unknown said...

No it doesn't. But it gives a little more insight into why he is like this. And maybe opening up will help him.

Anonymous said...

So Lily has to explain every past relationship but Jake couldnt say anything about his ex's sister bringing her kid to the bbq? That is fucked up. Jake is showing ALL the red flags and i was totally #teamjake but now Jake is on #teamdouche

Anonymous said...

Just a for the record: Abusive relationships, the majority of the time, start out with a guy charming and seducing the hell out of his intended victim. They are intense and work incredibly hard to lure the person in, then isolate them. And then the other stuff ensues. Jake has been incredibly controlling and cultivated Lily's inferiority complex from Day 1. I was never Team Jake before this, because he exhibited classic signs. Not Team Ethan either, he was unnecessarily rude at times. I'm pro Lily getting some professional help and taking a break from dating. She needs to heal a bit and work on some of her stuff before she'll be able to be a loving partner in a healthy relationship.

Anonymous said...

Disagree everyone keeps hoping he will "open" up and tell her when in reality he is a grown ass man and can only make so many mistakes before it's too far, how do we know he wasn't like this with his previous girl he probably thinks he is perfectly entitled to do everything he is with lily and maybe he was that way with previous girl.

Anonymous said...

I can totally picture Ethan punching Jake..... This made me smile :)

Anonymous said...

I do think that he had absolutely no right to ask to see her messages but the worst part is that he would embarrass lily like that in front of everyone... He should of saved it for private. I would be totally mortified.. Not only tht but he's makin a big deal out of nothing. Lily doesn't have to explain herself they weren't even dating

Anonymous said...

Come ON Lily. Have some respect for yourself. He is TRIPPIN' and you are just letting him. Nope nope nope. it's gotten this far because she keeps letting him walk all over her. If she doesn't put a stop to it this could get uglier.

Sweet Mercy said...

I totally agree with the last poster. Bad sign. His behavior is completely disrespectful. She had never given him a reason not to trust her. Time to walk away.

Amy said...

Jake's behavior is getting a little creepy, at the beginning he wasn't like this. I fear what might be coming Lily's way...

I just started a new fiction blog, I hope you don't mind me promoting it Janay! http://mycautiouslyoptimisticstory.blogspot.com.au/

Anonymous said...

Agree! I hope they split up before it gets any worse for Lily...

Anonymous said...

I agree I hate him more and more each post. He has crossed many lines, but this was the worst. It's how a textbook abusive relationship starts...he's an ass, she makes excuses and follows his beck-and-call. I understand not wanting to make more trouble, but she needs to tell him where to put it. Act like a 2-year old because she didn't want to talk because she's tired?!?!!? Go to hell!!! But, I guess we can thank you for bringing such issues to light and allowing this type of conversation!

Anonymous said...

To me from the beginning, this relationship doesn't look good from any point of view :/.

Jake is not good for lily...

Anonymous said...

I'm dying to know what's gonna happen!!! Bonus PLEASE!!! I know I'm asking for a lot..

Anonymous said...

I need help! I started reading a blog that I found in a comment on another blog I read (can't remember which one) and I've lost the link, if anyone can help I would appreciate it! The main character is Savannah and she is an agent in NYC, her newest client is Jakob and she has a stalker sending her creepy packages. If anyone knows which blog I'm talking about please post the link. Thank you!!

Anonymous said...

I think it's "thisislifesavanah"

Anonymous said...

Hahhhh, I've been sayin how Lily needs to be more considerate of her relationship and blah blah blah. But I would've flattened Jake in a second for that shit.

Janay333 said...

Of course not! That's how I got readers too! I'll definitely check out your blog soon!

Janay333 said...

I'm not familiar with this blog. Is it blogger? WordPress? Something else?

Anonymous said...

Wordpress... I tried to copy and paste the link but am on my phone at the moment and technology is beating me!

Anonymous said...

That's what I thought it was also but I've googled "thisislifesavanah" and haven't found it. Thank you for trying!

Anonymous said...

ok thats it- that was mortifying!! Its like he didnt believe her and needed proof. I dont belueve in relationships without trust!

Anonymous said...

Try this: http://thisislifesavannah.wordpress.com/

Anonymous said...

Awesome thank you!!

Anonymous said...

Ditto! She really hasn't been very considerate since they started dating. But there's a difference between being considerate of your significant others feelings & becoming a completely different person which is what's happened to Lily...she's usually so quick witted I'm surprised she didn't get smart with him

Anonymous said...

I was reading that blog too and was in love with it! But now when I go back to it, all of the posts have been deleted! My heart sank seeing it!! I hope it is a mistake and the writer comes back soon!

Kel said...

She said she was killing the blog due to nasty comments. Why do people have to suck and ruin it for e rest of us?

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to let you know that your blog is my favorite blog. Thank You for posting on a regular basis, I am sure that you have a lot of follwers that really appreciate you taking the time to post.
Carolyn