"Cause a real man knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a woman's worth" A Woman's Worth by Alicia Keys
***Rocky's Perspective***
When I came home Wednesday night, Brandon and EJ were in the living room, playing some game.
"Hey man! You're supposed to have my back! Where were you when that alien killed me?" Brandon exclaimed as I walked in.
"I can't keep saving you! I needed life. I was about to die." EJ replied, focusing on the game.
"Hi EJ. Hi Brandon." I waved at them.
"Hey Racqelle." EJ said, never taking his eyes off the game.
"Hey. How was work?" Brandon at least put his controller down.
"It was fine. Keep playing. I'm gonna change and start dinner." I said.
"Already done." Brandon said.
"What is it? Spaghetti, hamburgers or fried fish?" I asked, dryly.
"None. Spaghetti bake." He replied.
I shook my head and sat down on the couch next to them. We've been living together for about 8 months now, but Brandon still had yet to add any other meals to his repertoire. At least he tried. When he first moved in, he thought I was gonna keep up everything on my own while he helped out when he felt like it. I nipped that in the bud quick.
I watched them play while I relaxed. I was relieved I didn't have to cook. I appreciated Brandon for that. I didn't even have to ask him to do it. I didn't resist when he handed me the controller to play. Since he cooked dinner, I had time for childish games. I lasted for like 2 minutes despite Brandon's instructions. I gave up and went to my room to get ready for dinner.
I changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before heading in to the kitchen. Brandon, EJ and I set the table. Afterwards, we sat down and ate in silence. EJ was engrossed in his food, Brandon was watching him proudly and my mind was on the conversation I had with my mom.
I love my mom, but our personalities just clash. People say it's cause we're too much alike. I say it's cause she lost her damn mind, so don't compare me to that crazy chick. It got worse when all her kids were grown up and out of the house. She reverted to her pre-children days of dressing more revealing and partying. The last time I went home was last year for her birthday. I found her drinking and smoking with her boyfriend who looked somewhere in his 20s. I hadn't been back. But that's how our relationship works. We love each other, from a distance.
When I called her out of the blue, she knew something was up.
"Did you finally break up with that scrub?" She asked, excitedly.
I rolled my eyes. "No momma. And how is he a scrub? He has a job and a car and no kids. All things none of your men have ever had." I reminded her.
"I don't have them laying up with me, playing house. We do what it do and they bounce." She cracked herself up.
"Anyway..." I said, disgusted. Her slang is always about 5 years off. She still called other women chickenheads. "I actually wanted to talk to you about Lily."
I explained the situation, as much as I knew about it. I was sure there was more going on. Lily didn't even tell me about this fight. If Sammy wasn't there, I would have never known.
"Um, baby girl, that doesn't sound good... have you ever seen him angry?" My mom asked.
"No. Never. That's the craziest part to me. He's normally easy going and non-confrontational. At least that's how I read him before and you know I can read people. Especially men." I boasted.
"Well, you can't attack him. That's just gonna make her feel like she ain't got nobody but him..." My mom informed me.
She would know. Her first and only husband was abusive. He would yell and curse and break things in his anger. My mom made excuse after excuse for his sorry self. She stayed with him cause she didn't know how else she was gonna raise her boys without him. During one of his rages, he slammed open a door, smashing into my half brother and breaking his nose. She left him that night and never looked back. That's why she always instilled in me to never need a man for nothing.
That mantra was probably why she was attracted to my deadbeat dad. He didn't have anything to offer. I knew my conception was a mistake, but she had me and raised me with little help from him. But that's another story.
"What am I supposed to do? She's on some work it out, stick by my man, ride or die bullshit momma. I can't just passively watch this happen." I told her.
I heard my mom smack her lips over the phone. "You just have to stick with her and let her know she's worth more than that. You can see it all day long child, but she ain't gonna leave until she sees it. Just pray that she does before it gets worse."
"Alright momma."
"I guess that's one thing about yo man. If he ever gets outta line, you can just put him out. It is your house." She laughed.
"Bye Momma."
"Rocky!?!" Brandon called me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked up. "EJ asked you to pass the Parmesan."
"Sure baby. Sorry about that." I said to EJ, handing him the cheese. I watched him liberally shake the cheese on his pasta.
"Uncle can throw down in the kitchen, right EJ?" Brandon bragged.
EJ nodded as he put a fork full of spaghetti, pepperoni and cheese in his mouth.
We both looked up when the front door opened. I greeted Ethan as he walked in.
"Hey Bro, just in time. Pull up a chair." Brandon invited him to join us.
"Thanks Brandon. Let me go wash my hands. How's it going Rocky?" Ethan asked me.
"Same old same old." I answered. He nodded before leaving to wash his hands.
He returned with a plate and joined us at the table.
"Why did I have to come on a day Brandon cooked?" Ethan asked out loud.
I laughed. "We were just talking about how Brandon can cook, 3 things." I agreed, sarcastically.
"Don't hate." Brandon laughed. "She's just mad that she's ok at a lot of things, but excels at nothing."
"What does excels means?" EJ asked.
"It means you're the best at something." Ethan explained.
"Oh. Like I excel Brandon in video games?" EJ asked.
We all laughed. "Something like that."
After dinner, Ethan and EJ got ready to leave. He wished us a safe trip and specifically asked me to pass it on to everyone else. I knew he meant Lily. I know I was all for Jake in the beginning. Now I wish I didn't discourage Lily from dating Ethan. I felt like maybe if she had more experience, she wouldn't be falling for Jake's mind games. And say what you want about Ethan, but he was about his business. No nonsense.
"What's up with you?" Brandon asked, while we finished cleaning the kitchen.
"What do you mean?" I sighed, as I put dishes in the dishwasher. I wasn't in the mood for his attitude. I had too much on my mind.
"That's the second time you zoned out on me. What is it?" He asked, annoyed.
"I'm just thinking about this trip. Really about Lily and Jake." I explained.
"Don't. They're grown. Their mistakes are their problems." Brandon said, dismissively.
"I know, but that's my friend..."
"But nothing." Brandon cut me off. "Jake is my friend but I told him how I felt about them, so I'm leaving it alone. This is our vacation too. I'm not ruining it on Lily and her drama." Brandon finished.
I looked up at him, my blood boiling. I had been pushing his comments and his attempts to start fights aside. I knew back to school season was hard for retail and it was going get harder with the holiday season coming up, but I was fed up with his bullshit attitude and his anti-Lily campaign.
"You know what Brandon? I don't give a damn about this trip. I don't wanna celebrate your friend's birthday after the shit he's been pulling with Lily. And I'm getting fed up with your drama. I don't even wanna vacation with you!" I hissed, slamming the dishwasher closed. I pivoted and went to our room. I glared at him the whole time. He looked surprised by my outburst. He shouldn't be. He had been pushing my buttons since labor day. I closed the bedroom door and locked it.
I began to pack my suitcase. I couldn't help but notice the irony of the situation. Brandon calling Lily a bitch is what brought us together.
***Flashback***
"I'm only staying till 12am. If you need a ride, that's what time we're leaving!" I informed Jackie.
Jackie dragged me out on another Friday night. I knew I was being lame, but I missed Lily. After she moved to California, I felt like I had empty nest syndrome. Trevor was spending more time in Austin and even when he was here, he wasn't the same. I guess he was getting used to Lily being gone too.
Jackie decided I needed to get out. Get some drinks. Turn down guys. At least she picked my favorite bar and not some loud hot club. That whole scene just made me loud and hot. Especially having to fight off aggressive, don't-take-the-I'm-not-interested-hint losers that frequented the clubs.
"Alright. Damn. You need to get laid." Jackie exclaimed, loudly. A couple guys looked our way, but my menacing glare made them turn away.
I was surprised to see my favorite guy to turn down hanging at the bar. Brandon wasn't used to the Dallas area. He moved in with his brother after Ethan found out his fiancee was cheating on him. He was helping out with his nephew EJ since he had nothing better to do, like work.
Brandon always tried to make small talk with me on places to go to eat and drink. I entertained him, but always turned down his offer of going out on a date. I knew his type. Player. He was also younger than me, and had absolutely nothing to offer but his good looks and maybe the fact that he was my perfect little punching bag for verbal assaults. No matter what I said, he kept steady, ready for more. I didn't know if I admired or despised that...
"Hey. I haven't seen you out recently. Busy?" I asked Brandon as I stepped next to him by the bar.
He turned to face me and gave me a little smile. "I stay busy." He replied, simply.
"With what? Finally found a job?" I smirked.
"Nope, still working on it." He answered, taking a sip of his drink. I noticed he looked me over in my little black dress. He wasn't slick.
"Good luck. I'm sure a fortune 500 job will fall into your lap and will love the fact that you have no work experience." I said with a condescending smile.
"Look, I've already had to deal with your friend in California in bitch mode. I don't have the time for this." Brandon announced, turning to face the bar again.
I was shocked. Normally he would say something sarcastic or stupid when I was getting on to him.
But I quickly recovered. "I won't waste anymore of your time then. Good night." I said, before turning to join Jackie. I focused on her and the guys trying to buy us drink. Until I saw Brandon leave with a girl. We locked eyes before I turned away from him.
That night when I got home, I called Lily. When she explained to me about going behind Ethan's back to talk to EJ, I understood Brandon's frustration. I lectured her about it and she cried. That was emotional, even for her. I asked her for Brandon's number. She asked why, but I just told her to give it to me. I knew he was probably busy with that hoe he left with, but I texted Brandon anyway.
Me- Hey. This is Racqelle . Lily knows what she did was wrong and she feels horrible. But her intentions were good. She loves that little boy and would do anything for him. Don't shut him off from that.
I was surprised when he texted back right away.
Brandon- I wouldn't. I just wish she didn't hurt my brother in the process.
I didn't respond, even though I knew Lily was hurting too. I already had that talk with Lily. She wasn't changing her mind. She wanted to be in California.
--------------------------
A couple months later, I was out of my funk. I started going out with Peyton and Jackie and forcing Trevor out with us too. I met an insurance agent named Dennis. We were talking and casually dating when Brandon texted me.
Brandon- So I got that fortune 500 executive job...
I text him back.
Me-???
I didn't wanna seem interested. Or like I thought about that conversation when he dissed and dismissed me.
Brandon- Target. I'm gonna be an executive at a store
Me- Nice. Congratulations!
Brandon- Thanks. It's not where I wanna be, but it's experience.
Me- That's ok. Build up the resume.
Brandon- ha. That's what my bro said.
Me- How is he doing?
Brandon- He's good. I get my first paycheck in a week. Go out with me to celebrate.
Me- I can't... I'm dating someone.
Brandon- Ok. Is he your man?
Me- Not yet.
Brandon- It would take one date for me to make you my woman. He doesn't appreciate you.
Me- Says the man who asked me out by text.
Brandon- Hey, I tried face to face! Way before this guy...
Me- And the last time I saw you, you were pulling hoes from the bar...
Brandon-If he's not your man by my second paycheck, then you're going out with me.
Me- We'll see.
I put my phone away knowing nothing was going to happen with Dennis until I had one date with Brandon. I was curious about him. I know, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
--------------------
***PRESENT***
"Rocky?" My memory was interrupted by Brandon knocking on the door. I paused from packing and went to open the door. I stalked away from him as soon as the door was open.
"What are you doing?" He asked me nervously as he watched me put clothes in my luggage.
"Packing for Vegas genius." I said, rolling my eyes.
"I thought you weren't going to go." Brandon said, but his relief was visible.
"Oh, I am. I said I wasn't going to celebrate his birthday or go on vacation with you. I can find another hotel and I can keep myself entertained." I replied.
Brandon pulled me to him and walked us to the bed. We laid down on top of the covers.
"I'm sorry. I know that's your friend-" He started.
"It's not about her being my friend. I admitted when she was wrong to Ethan and I called her out on it. It's about right and wrong. Jake is so wrong right now. It shouldn't matter what you think of Lily." I finished.
"Omar told me they had a fight. He said Lily was talking to another guy."
I scoffed. "That's not what happened. Jake blew the whole situation out of proportion."
"What did he do?" Brandon asked. I told him. Brandon looked shocked when I finished. Then he just looked sad.
"He's wrong. He's so wrong. What the hell is he doing?" He said, shaking his head.
"Does he have anger issues? Do you think he would hurt her?" I asked, concerned.
"No. Hell no. He would never hit her. Rocky, I will talk to him. This shit will stop." He reassured me.
I nodded. "What's going on with us Brandon?" I asked him bluntly. Normally, I would let it go, but Lily was right about one thing. We needed to address our issues and not just bicker all the time.
"What do you mean?" He sighed.
"We haven't been ok since Labor Day." I answered.
He was quiet for a minute. "Do you really wanna get married?"
"Brandon. No... I'm not pushing for an engagement!" I said vehemently. I knew the fastest way to scare a guy away was to pressure him to put a ring on it.
"No. I meant, would you be happy marrying me? Or do you want to get married in general? I know I'm not where I want to be career wise and that's important to you." Brandon said.
"No, Brandon. I love you. When I think of our future, I don't envision you as a CEO or running a business."
He frowned at that.
"Baby listen. When I think about the future, I see us like we were tonight. You teaching me how to play shoot the alien game. Me teaching you how to cook so our babies can eat more than spaghetti when it's your turn to make dinner. It's just us, working together. Bickering and laughing. That's what I see. And that makes me happy. Everything else is just extra." I explained.
He smiled as I spoke. It lit up his face so much, it made me smile too. He hadn't looked joyful like that in too long.
"I knew you wanted to have my baby." He grinned.
"Hush boy!"
"You said babies... how many kids do you want?" He questioned, rolling on top of me.
"Considering I have to deal with you, maybe we should start with a dog. We can practice and see how that goes."
"Nope. Let's practice on making a baby." He laughed, pulling away my clothes. I laughed and helped him remove his clothes too.
18 comments:
Omar needs a punch in the mouth.
*Please take this as the constructive criticism it's meant to be*
I really like your blog, your characters (while often frustrating ;)) are interesting to follow, and I'm curious how things will play out. My main issue here is your writing style; your sentence structure is choppy and doesn't have natural flow. You tend to end sentences quickly and start a new one rather use a comma, and you also have a habit of starting your sentences with conjunctions (but, and). Another thing to think of is variety, you use "I explained, he explained, Lilly explained" a lot. Instead of relying so heavily on the same format, try a thesaurus to help expand the vocabulary. Again, I really hope you don't take offence to this, It's not intended to be mean spirited. You have a great blog and I look forward to reading your future posts!
I LOVE a good FLASHBACK! Also got a Rocky Perspective.....AWESOME!
So happy Brandon and Rocky cleared the air, and he is going to talk to Jake... Dammit... Now I have to wait for Monday's post ......
Thats actually what i like about her writing style, it feels natural, like how normal people talk. A lot of blogs out there feel too rehearsed. Im sure when normal people talk, they dont go looking for synonyms because theyve already used x and y word before.
By the way i dont want to bash your comment or anything, I just found it interesting that this writing style doesnt appeal to some.
About the post, im glad Brandon finally got it that what is wrong between Jake and Lily isnt just your everyday drama!! hope he can make Jake get that what he's doing is just plain abusive!
I hope him talking to Jake doesn't blow up in Lily's face, because I still think Jake is abusive even if he would never hit her, that's not the only type of abuse. He's manipulative and shows all the signs. I hope Rocky sticks by her side and she ends it with that ass quickly!!
I am having a hard time with all this "Jake's an abusive bf-talk". Am I that naive? Because I certainly didn't see that coming, I mean, yeah that stunt he pulled at the festival was way too much and it made me mad that Lily just gave in so easy. But before that I thought he was just reacting to Lily's flirty behavior. Some if the things she did, I wouldn't do if I were in a commited relationship. I agree he can't justify all his actions with saying that he was cheated on, because that's not fair for Lily. This is a new relationship and Lily is a different person than Cara and he should know that or else he wouldn't have fallen for her that hard
Omar is an idiot! I really don't like him and who knows what ideas he's putting in Jake's head. And no that doesn't excuse his behavior at the festival either. All I know is that if I were insecure in my relationship someone saying negative things to me, wouldn't help me at all. I feel that their relationship is sooo good when it's just them getting to know each other, even hanging out with his family seemed like they had a good time. I hope Jake can see the error in his ways. I don't like the whole he's abusive thing because I felt at the beginning she held her own.
Luita
I can see why people are up in arms over Jake's behavior. I get having been in a bad relationship before, but that isn't because of Lily. It doesn't seem like he is emotionally ready to be in a relationship. He definitely has some things to work out. On the other hand, Lily doesn't seem ready either. When you're in a committed relationship where you say you love that person, flirting with guys like she has seems like a contradiction to those words. It may seem innocent to her, but it wouldn't be ok with most people. The other issue is that they listen way too much to outside influences. They are the ones in the relationship. Bringing everyone else into it is a recipe for disaster, especially in this stage of getting to know each other. Having said all of that, Jake was absolutely wrong for his behavior. I kind of feel like they need to sh*t or get off the pot. It's unhealthy to keep going back and forth.
*like*.
If you're "naive" so am I. I felt the fest behaviour was unnecessary but prior it was a result of Lily behaving single despite being in a relationship not Jake being crazy. I agree with you 100%
I agree with the "shit or get off the pot" they need to decide if they're doing this or not & if they are they both need to start acting like it. Their communication has pretty much gone to shit since they let all their friends get involved in every detail of their relationship in my opinion.
Yeah but if they shut everyone else out and she cuts off friends like she is already starting to do, he will just get away with his abusive controlling behavior and she will be that girl who thinks it's ok because he loves her and it's just the two of them
Running away every time she talked to a guy is ok behavior? I get she has been to flirty but he has ran away and thrown too many tantrums before the fest that wasn't the first time
She's been a bit flirty. But choosing her clothes, getting mad when she doesn't reply immediately and when he wants her too, not talking to her for days on end if she so much as speaks to another guy.. Yea, she did cross some lines and I do agree that she is in part responsible for him being annoyed. But he's also manipulative, and a bit misogynistic. She can't breathe without pissing him off. And yes that is abusive. Even if it's unintentional. It's still abusive behaviour
She doesn't (and shouldn't) have to cut off her friends to be in a relationship. But running to them definitely isn't helping. I'm happily married and don't run to someone every time something comes up. WE work it out together! She's listened to bad advice more than once from Sammy. It's childish behavior from them all.
in her defence, she doesn't always run to someone else. Jake has flown off the handle IN FRONT of everyone a few times. So obviously, if he can't keep it between them, he has NO RIGHT to be upset when they get involved. If you don't want people to see your dirty laundry, don't hang it on the line in the yard.
But don't girls often do the same thing? How come we are not called "abusive". I have walked out pissed before. And I would definitely stop talking to someone if I hear they are talking to their ex. Jake had no idea where the "are you marrying Lily?" Comment came from, all he could imagine is that Lily expressed that as a desire, I would've walked out too. All I know is that in love and war we could use the same weapons, but because of gender they are interpreted differently.
And the clothes thing, he just wants her to be more comfortable in her own skin. If he really were a manipulative bf, he would dress her in baggy clothes so no other men could look at her body, don't you think? Maybe the way he goes about it, is not the best, but I don't think it comes from a bad place.
There's two people in a relationship and I agree the need to talk things out a little more and not go to their friends, it goes both ways, Jake shouldn't be listening to his friends either.
Luita
Agree he makes their problems pretty open. Plus she has talked to rocky here and there, like the time she told her she was confused why jake assumed she would only go to Vegas for the weekend and not longer with everyone else
To anonymous at 6:27 when did lily go running to anyone, every time they have problems (to often in such an early relationship) she usually remembers things like jake told her not to listen to sammy. Here and there she's talk a little bit about something bothering her like the Vegas trip but she always defends jake. She isn't the one who throws fits in public for everyone to see. She runs to him and let's him get away with his behavior
If you friend made a joke about your boyfriend talking to another girl before you got together you think it's perfectly fine to demand to see his phone then demand he leaves the fest? Sorry but if a girl did that and all the other tantrums and shut him out and ignored him like jake does that would be abusive relationship also its not a gender thing it's an actions thing
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