Taking Chances

Taking Chances- Celine Dion ( I love Lea Michele's version too)

"Your dating situation is complicated? Lily, what the hell?" Jordan exclaimed to me this morning in the training locker room.

I sighed. I knew this was coming. Corey texted me Tuesday about meeting up for coffee or a drink. I declined, telling him that my dating situation is complicated at the moment. And I didn't want to add him to it until I figured things out. He replied no problem. But I knew Jordan would be upset.

I spent Wednesday avoiding her so we didn't have to talk about Corey. I used my upcoming trip as an excuse to not hang out. But Jordan sought me out. Judging by what she said, Corey told her everything.

"I'm sorry Jordan. But that's the truth. I figured that was better than leading him on." I replied.

"What's complicated about being single? Please don't say Forrest. He's engaged-"

"No. It's Jake. We're hooking up!" I defended myself. "Geez, do I have home wrecking, backstabbing hoe tattooed on my forehead?" Why did people think that about me?

One of my co-workers, another therapist named Steven, smirked at us and left the changing area.

"Can we talk about this later?" I asked Jordan, annoyed.

"Lunch."

"I'm working through my lunch. I have to make sure my patients' rehab plans are updated for Friday when I'm not here" I informed her.

"Ok. Before you leave, find me." Jordan said. She turned away and left.

 I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't out of the woods yet, but for now she was off my back. I didn't know what to tell her about Jake.

When Jake and I were together, there was no doubt in my mind. I wanted to be his girlfriend. I believed he felt the same. Why else would he want to meet my brother? He didn't return my text about my brother's address. I was hoping he would come. But now, I'm thinking I don't know. Self-doubt crept in. I might have told him too much. Maybe he saw me as some weak victim.

At the end of my work day, I found Jordan at the nurses' station. She walked me to my car and I explained everything to her.

She sighed. "I thought you wanted simple?"

"It is simple. When it's just me and him, it's amazing. It's just everything and everyone else."

Jordan gave me a hug. "Lily, it is that simple. There are only two people in a relationship. You get to pick who those two people are and y'all decide what matters. Forget everything else and make it work."

I nodded.

She wished me a safe trip and I thanked her and left.

I headed to my apartment, loaded up my car with the food and my packed bags. I then went to my brother's apartment. When I arrived, my brother and Trevor were already there.

"Hey." I smiled at both of them as brought in some of the food.

"Hey sis. You got more stuff out there?" Cam asked me, holding open the door.

"I do." I said, nodding.

Cam and Trevor both went outside to grab my bags and the rest of the food. I went into the kitchen, washed my hands, and turned on the oven to let it preheat. Trevor and Cam joined me.

"So what did you 'make'?" Cam asked, making air quotes.

"Don't even. I cooked everything. I sent pictures as evidence!" I said.

"That's what they all said. I need to see your phone. Make sure they're not doctored." Cam smiled. I smiled back. I looked at Trevor. He smiled too, but it looked forced.

"Hey T-Rev. How ya been?" I asked, setting 2 skillets on the stove. One to cook the bacon, the other for the chopped steak.

"Good. How bout you? " Trevor asked.

I shrugged. "Bout the same. Just getting mentally prepared for this trip."

"Nothing new with you at all?" Trevor continued.

"Not at all." I said. I unwrapped the filled potatoes and topped them with cheese and chives.

"That's funny. Becca told me there was some drama last weekend at Winstar." Trevor said.

"8 girls, that doesn't shock me." Cam said, "You looked nice by the way. In the pictures. Looks like you all had a good time."

"Thanks Cam. We did." I slapped his hand away as he snuck some cheese in his mouth. "I'm definitely not a gambler, but it was still fun." I said, trying to change the subject.

"What shocked me was that it was between Lily and Sammy. Over a guy." Trevor elaborated, bringing back up the drama.

Cam looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

I sighed. "It was nothing. She just doesn't like the guy I'm dating" I said quickly.

Trevor frowned up at that.

"Why doesn't she like him?" Cam asked.

"She's just judgemental. She hasn't even gave him a chance." I said, shooting a look at Trevor.

"Well, I would like to meet him soon. Then I can pass my own judgement." Cam said.

"You already have met him. At my housewarming. Jake. But I'm glad to hear that cause he wanted to meet you too. I actually invited him over tonight. If that's ok." I said.

Trevor looked surprised. My brother looked pleased.

"Of course. I remember him. Seemed nice enough. Let me go get my gun loaded, and I'll be ready to meet him." Cam said.

"Oh awesome. He's a commissioned guard, so he carries a gun too. We can have a good, old fashion shoot out." I said, sarcastically. Cam laughed. The phone rang and he left to go get it.

"Nice spin you put on that." Trevor grumbled.

"Please. Be cool and give him a chance." I pleaded.

"I can't believe you're giving him a chance." He muttered, before leaving the kitchen. I texted Jake.

Me: Hey. Were you still going to come? My brother wants to meet you.

I put my phone on the counter and started to finish up. While the bacon cooked, I put the the chopped steak on the skillet. When the bacon was done, I put it on a paper towel to drain. I threw fresh green beans in a pot and added butter, lemon pepper, and a little broth and put a lid over it to steam. I crumbled up the bacon and put it on top of the potatoes. I put them in the oven to warm up. After that, I sliced up some strawberries for strawberry shortcake for dessert. I sprinkled a little sugar on them and placed them in the refrigerator. The shortcakes were store brought. I was going to put them together after dinner.

As I was doing this, I heard Becca arrive. Fucking big mouth. At first, I felt nothing bad towards her, so I guess the trip was a success. Now I felt like she was a gossiping airhead. So congrats Becca!

I was sautéing mushrooms in the bacon grease, when I got a text.

Jake: Sorry. Looks like I'm not going to be able to make it.

 I texted him back.

Me: That's cool. Are you still at work? Cause you can come over whenever. No set time. I'll save you some food

I played it off in my text, but I was pissed. He was the fucking one that invited himself. I just told Cam and Trevor he was coming. Urgh!

I dumped the mushrooms on top of the meat, leaving a few uncovered for Trevor. If Becca didn't eat mushrooms, oh well. She could pick them off. I put them in the oven as well to finish.

I was making a side salad when Jenna came in.

"Hey Lily! I can't believe they have you in here all by yourself. What can I do to help?" She exclaimed.

"It's cool Jenna. I'm almost done. Just gonna set the table." I smiled.

"No, they can do that." Jenna announced. She rounded them up and they came and grabbed plates and silverware and glasses.

"6 right?" Becca smiled at me, counting out plates.

"No. Just 5." I answered.

"What happened?" Cam asked me.

"Looks like he's working late." I said, plainly.

Trevor scoffed. I sent him a dirty glare.

"Aww, we'll still make him a plate. He can stop by when he gets off." Jenna suggested.

I nodded. After the food was set out, we sat down to eat.

Everyone made their plate. I pointed out the chopped steaks with no mushroom for Trevor.

"Thanks Lilypad." Trevor smiled.

"You're welcome." I said.

"How come I didn't know you don't eat mushrooms?" Becca asked.

It was on the tip of my tongue to say a smart aleck response along the lines of her being too involved with other peoples' business, but my phone beeped. She was saved by the bell.

Jake: No. I'm home. Have a save trip.

My face fell. I put my phone away. I looked up and everyone was watching me. I cleared my throat.

"He's not coming." I said.

No one said anything. But it didn't matter. My disappointment was palpable. Everyone complimented my food. I didn't even try to pretend like I cared.

Trevor said something, and everyone laughed. I didn't even fake like I was paying attention.

"C'mon Lily. Did you really expect differently?" Trevor snapped at me. I looked up at him, narrowing my eyes.

"Trevor, lets just eat." Cam said.

"No. This is the same guy who broke up with her roommate to pursue her." Trevor told him. He then turned to me. "You're too smart to act so stupid."

"I don't know who you got your information from." I said, glaring at Becca. She had the decency to look away. "But you're completely wrong. But even if that was the truth, it's my business. So leave it alone."

"It is my business. You're my friend. You continue to make the worst choices. First it's that engaged guy, and now Jake." Trevor argued.

Unbelievable! Nothing happened with Forrest! I told him that. He just called me out in front of Cam for no reason. And he didn't even know Jake. Just some lies told by fucking Becca. He was going to trust her words before mine because they were fucking?

"I can't believe you right now. We had this conversation about Rocky feeling like she can dictate my life and talk down to me. I get her to stop, and you start up in her place." I snapped.

"Rocky feels the same exact way I do. She just doesn't say anything cause she believes you're going through a 10 year delayed teenage rebellion. She thinks if we tell you no, you're just gonna do it to prove a point. But I can't sit here and watch you make the same mistakes over and over again. I refuse." Trevor said, sternly.

I stood up. I don't need this shit.

"Fine. Don't watch me then." I grabbed my purse.

"Lily-" Jenna and Cam both started.

"Great. Just great. Go run to him when he's the reason you're upset. Makes perfect sense." Trevor called, cutting them off.

I ignored him and stormed out the door. I hopped in my car. I wasn't rebellious. I was going to do the exact thing Trevor told me to. Run to Jake.

I was furious. This was all his fault. He fucking embarrassed me after I spent all this time defending him, defending us. And he couldn't show up? To a fucking dinner he invited himself to? That was Un-fucking-believable.

I banged on his door repeatedly until he answered. When he opened the door, I stomped into his apartment. He looked shocked for a moment til he noticed my face. He must have seen the rage. He closed the door and faced me but instead of backing down, he squared off with me. Like he did nothing wrong.

"What the fuck Jake? How could you do that to me?" I yelled.

"Lower your voice. If you wanna talk, we can talk. But you're not going to yell at me." He said, harshly.

"Fuck that-" I started, but he opened the door to his apartment.

"I'm not playing. Just like I told your roommate; I'm too old for games. And temper tantrums. So if you can't get your point across any other way, here's the door." Jake said.

His eyes were ice cold. I knew he would really throw me out. And even worse, he put me in the same category as Sammy. Tears welled up in my eyes.

"How could you do that to me? You said you cared about me. You're the one who wanted to meet my brother. And then you bailed. Do you know how that made me look? How it made me feel?" I said, my voice shaky. I was trying my best to control my emotion. But if I couldn't express anger, hurt came out instead.

He shut the door. "Yes. I do. But I'd rather do it now than pretend like we have something we don't."

"You don't think we have something?" I asked, emotionally.

"I think we could. But not if you're in love with Ethan." He said.

I felt punched in the stomach. "I'm not in love with Ethan! Is this about yesterday? It was just sex. I never thought he was my first time. You put that out there." I accused him, frustrated.

"Then what is it?" Jake asked, folding his arms.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I exclaimed, loudly.

He paused and gave me a warning glare, before explaining.

"I thought, I hoped, maybe it was just an attachment to EJ. I see the way you are with EJ. There's love there. But there's something with Ethan too. I can feel it. And since it's not because you're in love with him or because he was your first time, what the fuck is it?" Jake demanded.

"We have history..." I explained, weakly.

"You said it was just sex right?. I have real history with girls that I have less of an attachment to. So explain to me what the history is?"

"I can't. I don't know." I lied.

He opened the door again. "You might as well leave if you're gonna lie to me."

The tears leaked from my eyes. "That's not fair. Why can't we leave the past in the past? Lets just start fresh. With you and me."

"Because it's not in the past." He said, shaking his head before looking back at me. "I feel it when you talk about Ethan. It's the way you look when you're talking about him. It's the same way you are with EJ. I have every right to know before I make the decision to be with you. " Jake accused.

"You won't look at me the same." I cried.

"I already can't look at you the same knowing you're keeping secrets from me. So you might as well take that chance."

I mulled that over, crying to myself.

"What's it gonna be Lily?" Jake said.

I sobbed. I knew, either way it went, it was over. I moved to the door. He spoke when I stood in front of him.

"Lily, we said honesty. I could fall for you. Honestly, I'm halfway there. Nothing you could tell me can change that. I just have to know that you're in this with me." Jake pleaded softly with me.

Something in his voice made me decide to trust him. I knew it was too soon to be talking about love, but I knew he told the truth. I felt the same way about him. I couldn't throw that chance away. I can't live with anymore regrets.

"Shut the door Jake." I said, between tears. He did. And I told him the whole truth.