Pills n Potions

"Pills and potions
We're overdosing
I'm angry but I still love you
Pills and potions
We're overdosing
Can't stand it but I still love youI still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love I still love, I still love" Pills n Potions by Nicki Minaj


Saturday morning, I ate Raisin Bran cereal in Jake's living room. I must have passed out again the night before, cause I didn't even hear Jake leave. He left out Raisin Brain and Cocoa Puffs and a note saying "Went to the gym. Knock yourself out". I knew he was making fun of me and the story I told him about how I met Trevor. I sighed and looked at my phone on the coffee table.

I knew Trevor tried to contact me. My phone kept ringing and beeping the night before, signifying calls and messages. When Jake noticed me glancing in the direction of my phone the night before, he pulled out from inside me and left the bed. After retrieving my phone, he left the room. He came back a minute later, without my phone. He returned to the bed and moved his mouth between my legs.

When he was sure my attention was completely on him, he told me to turn over and grab the headboard. I did, kneeling on the bed. He entered me from behind and I could barely remember my own name, much less the stupidity of those two fucking idiots.

I can't believe I spent a second of my time feeling bad for Trevor or Sammy. I did feel bad at one point. I understood how both of them felt.

I've been in Sammy shoes with Ethan. It hurt having to pretend that you don't care when you did. That's why I asked how she felt about me dating Jake. I wish she would have been honest with me before I developed feelings for Jake, cause right now, it was too late. I was so far gone. Maybe it wasn't love yet, but that's where it was heading.

 I know how Trevor felt having feelings for a friend. I felt that way for years about him. That's why I felt so awful when Rocky told me. I never told Trevor how I felt about him back then. It was fairly obvious that he wasn't interested in me like that. And I didn't want to risk losing our friendship. Trevor obviously didn't have that same concern. He lashed out at me, dated other women and now is fucking my roommate all while claiming to have feelings for me.

What I didn't understand is what they felt they could accomplish by sleeping with each other. They did that before, and it ended badly. Why the fuck would they do it again? Trevor is my best friend. Sammy is my roommate. I was right in the middle of their bullshit. Exactly where I didn't wanna be.

I washed my dishes and put them away before finally grabbing my phone.

7 missed calls.
5 texts.
1 voicemail.

All Trevor.

I checked the text messages first.

Trevor- Answer your phone

Trevor: Please Lily

Trevor-I need to talk to you. Pick up

Trevor-It's not what it looked like. Call me so I can explain.

Trevor- Just text me back so I know you're ok

The more I thought about it, the more upset I got. Honestly, Sammy and Trevor deserved each other. They're both selfish and dishonest. I didn't wanna deal with people like that in my life. So I wasn't going to be in the middle. I was done.

Feeling better that my mind was made up, I caught up on social media. I deleted Sammy and Trevor from all of my friends lists. Dramatic, I know, but I felt so much better afterwards. It was my little 'fuck you' to both of them without saying a word.

I finally got around to responding to comments on my Facebook from my trip to California. I was responding to Forrest about my dad's mineral pool, when the front door opened.

I was expecting Jake, but it was Jasmine. She was with 2 other women I recognized from Facebook as Jake's sister Julissa and Jocelyn. 3 children trailed them. The boy looked around preteen age, with the girl closer to 8 or 9, and another little girl looked around 4.

"I knew it!!!" Jasmine exclaimed, wobbling in the room. Her arms were filled with bags. I hopped up, blushing, and pulled down the t-shirt I borrowed from Jake. It covered everything, but still inappropriate.

"Be right back." I said, quickly, before hauling ass to Jake's bedroom. I gathered my clothes from last night. I called Jake while shimmying into them.

"Hey Carino. How'd you sleep?" Jake asked when he answered.

"Your sisters are here!!!" I said, in a hushed tone.

"So? Kick them out." Jake laughed.

"Not funny. They brought children!"

"You like kids."

"Not when I'm wearing just your t-shirt!!!" I exclaimed.

Jake chuckled. "I'm already on my way back. Keep my shirt on."

I hung up on him. I made myself as presentable as possible. I tried pulling my skirt up higher to cover my exposed stomach, but then too much of my legs showed. I pulled the skirt down and went back out. The walk of shame was better than hiding out in Jake's room.

"Such a cute skirt. It even looks nice the morning after." Jocelyn commented. I forced a smile.

"Shut up." Jasmine laughed. "Lily, these are my sisters Julissa and Jocelyn. My nephew Isaac and my nieces Maryann and Isabella."

"Hi. Nice to meet y'all. I'm Lily." I said, waving and smiling. I noticed Julissa was putting things away.

"Can I help?" I asked.

"Do you know where things are?" She asked, surprised, studying me.

"Not really." I shrugged.

She smiled at me. "Then don't worry about it."

Jasmine helped put things away. It was random stuff. Laundry detergent, paper towels, food. Jocelyn just studied me.

"And what are you to Jake?" Jocelyn asked. Julissa and Jasmine turned to me.

"Um..." before I could answer, Jake walked through the front door.

Thank God.

"Hey, Wuz up?" He said, smiling. He set down his gym bag. He hi-fived his nephew and gave his niece Maryann a hug. He picked up Isabella and gave her a kiss on the cheek that made her giggle before sitting her back on the couch. After he hugged his sisters, he approached me. He gave me a hug too, but left his arm around me.

"What are y'all doing here?" He asked.

"Is it a crime to wanna see our brother?" Jocelyn said.

"No. Kinda stupid not to call first." Jake said.

"Well, mom wanted to drop off this stuff anyway. She bought it on tax free weekend. Good thing we came and not her." Jasmine replied.

"We still have some back to school shopping to do. Would y'all like to join us?" Julissa asked.

"Yeah, c'mon Tio. You were supposed to take me!" Isaac exclaimed.

"He's been busy!" Jasmine smiled at me.

"Obviously." Jocelyn added. I flushed.

"Sure I will. Let me take Lily home first." Jake answered.

"You don't wanna join us?" Jasmine pouted.

"I'd have to go home and change. I don't wanna slow y'all down." I answered.

"We'll wait." Jasmine offered.

"No. I still have things to do from my California trip last weekend. But thanks." I said. I told everyone goodbye and Jake and I left.

"Did you wanna come? I didn't want you to feel pressured to say yes." Jake said, as he drove me home.

"No. I need to clean out my closet. Literally and figuratively." I replied.

Jake smiled. "Well besides all that, did you have a good time last night?" He asked as we pulled up to my townhome.

"I did Jake." I smiled at him. I leaned over and pressed my lips against his.

"Best" kiss "Date" kiss "Ever!"

He smiled against my lips before we shared one last kiss.

"Bye babe. Talk to you later."

"Bye Carino."

I hopped out of his car and went to the front door. I tried to unlock the door, but the deadbolt was on. I rang the doorbell over and over. Finally, Sammy emerged.

She was wearing t-shirt and panties and I was automatically disgusted.

"Is Trevor here?" I asked, not hiding my disgust.

She rolled her eyes. "No. Not that it's any of your business."

"You're right, it's not. Have fun with him. It ended so well last time. It should end even better considering he has a girlfriend now." I said, sarcastically.

"They broke up last weekend. Maybe if you weren't always wrapped up in yourself you would know that." Sammy said, condescendingly.

"Wrapped up in myself? Or wrapped up in Jake?" I snapped back at her.

"Another thing you don't know about. Jake is just telling you what you wanna hear. So enjoy it while it lasts." Sammy said, before she sauntered back upstairs.

I marched upstairs to my room and slammed my door.

I used my anger to fuel my clean up efforts. I put on my headphones and started reorganizing all my clothing and shoes. I felt sick. Sick to my stomach. I can't believe how bad things were getting with Sammy. I took a deep breath, recalling what my aunt said. Don't focus on the negative. Did I believe they slept together to hurt me? I don't think so. Even if Rocky told him I knew that he liked me, Trevor wasn't vindictive like that. Why would Sammy sleep with Trevor to get back at me? I needed to resolve this.

After I put my clothes away, I headed to Sammy's room. I knocked on the door. I waited a moment before opening it. When I was greeted by an empty room, I headed downstairs. She was gone.

I sighed and headed back upstairs. I grabbed my phone.

I noticed I had a missed call from Rocky. I called her back.

"Lily what's going in? Why did you unfriend Trevor?" Rocky asked.

"I unfriended Sammy too. Put it together."

"What? Why?"

"Ask Trevor." I said simply. "Did Trevor and Becca break up?"

"Yes. Last weekend. Becca is miserable. We're having a girls night if you wanna come over."

Urgh. I couldn't. I felt for Becca, but I wasn't in the mood to offer my condolences. Trevor and I were in too weird of a place for me to comfort his ex.

"I can't but I'll talk to you soon."

After I got off the phone, I went to the kitchen and rummaged through the refrigerator. My phone beeped while I was deciding what to make. I opened my phone to see Forrest snap chatted me. It was a huge spread of tailgating food. He then smiled at the camera and asked "Jealous?"

Yes. Yes I was. My stomach grumbled impatiently.

"I fucking hate you." I recorded myself, flicking him off. I sent it. A few moments later, he called.

"Keep up with that attitude and you're not invited." He said.

"To?"

"Cowboys preseason game. I'm having some friends over."

"Cool. What can I bring?" I asked.

"We're pretty much covered, but no one's gonna say no to more food or booze." Forrest said.

"Ok. Text me the address."

I looked through the pantry and saw I had the ingredients for rotel dip. I quickly made it and threw it in a crockpot. I changed into white distressed jeans and a black tank.

Before I plugged in Forrest's address on my navigation on my phone, I called Jake. He didn't answer. I stopped at the store and picked up some tortilla chips and beer.

40 minutes later, I was at Forrest's apartment complex. I'd never been there before, so I drove around one time before calling Forrest.

He came outside and directed me to his apartment. On the 2nd roll around, I spotted him. I pulled up in the spot closest to him.

"Hey." I said smiling.

"Hey! It's been too long! Get over here!" He exclaimed, excitedly. He scooped me up in a hug, swinging me around.

"I know." I laughed. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Not half of what I'm going to drink." He laughed too. "My last weekend of freedom."

"Did you move up the wedding?" I asked, pulling out the crockpot.

He laughed. "No. Before school starts." He grabbed the beer from the backseat and the bag of tortilla chips. I followed him to his apartment.

Inside, a group of his friends were making plates, drinking, and watching the pregame show. A group of girls, including Rachel, Forrest's fiancee, were in the kitchen. That's where Forrest took me.

"Everyone, this is Lily. Lily, everyone." Forrest introduced me. I waved as everyone greeted me.

I set down the crockpot on the counter. "What did you make?" Forrest asked me.

"Rotel dip."

"Rachel, I can eat your veggie tray now. We have rotel dip!" Forrest called.

"Thanks Lily. I specifically said no cheese dips." Rachel grinned at me. "He will eat it off everything."

"Kinky!" Someone exclaimed, and we laughed.

"He didn't say that. He specifically asked for cheese dip." I lied.

"Babe, I didn't!" Forrest said.

"No, he didn't. But he didn't say not to." I smiled, taking the plate Forrest offered me.

"So are you actually gonna watch the game? Or discuss which players are the cutest with the women folk?" Blake, the guy Jake, me and Forrest played cornhole with, asked me.

"Can I do both?" I replied.

"It depends. Sexiest quarterback?" A girl asked.

"I'm from California, so I have to say Colin Kaepernick." I answered.

Rachel pulled up something on her phone. She held up a picture of Colin Kaepernick. I nodded.

"Alright, you're in!" Rachel declared. I smiled at her as I made my plate.

"Best player on the Cowboys?" Blake asked me.

"Trick question. No such thing." I quipped.

"Alright. Get out! No Cowboys haters allowed." Blake said, as Forrest laughed.

"I'm not. I'm actually indifferent. Which is weird cause everyone either hates or loves the Cowboys. I really don't care. I'll cheer for them except when they play the 49ers or Redskins." I explained.

"Redskins?" A guy exclaimed.

"She went to Baylor." Forrest explained.

I nodded. "Yeah, I was going to cheer for any team RGIII went to."

Everyone crowded around the TV with food and drinks. Blake sat next to me.

"What do you think about Romo?" He asked me.

"He's over and under rated." I said.

"Explain..." he prompted.

"When he plays well, he's a God. When he makes mistakes, he single handedly destroyed the team. But in reality, he's good. At best." I explained.

"His numbers are better than most starters." Blake debated.

"Doesn't matter if you're always causing turnovers." I replied.

"They're not always his fault." Blake said.

I shrugged. On the first possession of the game, the cowboys turned the ball over. Thanks to a botched handover from Romo.

I turned to Blake. "So...what were you saying about it not always being his fault?" I grinned.

"Kick a man while he's down." Blake groaned. I laughed.

"You need a drink?" He asked.

"I'd love a drink. Thanks." I agreed.

"So..." Rachel started. "You and Blake? Should I set that up?"

"No!" I said, shaking my head. "I'm dating someone."

"What?!?" Blake said. "Get your own drink woman!" He said, good naturally. He came back and handed me a beer.

"I thought you had a girlfriend?" I asked.

"I did. Till you crushed her in corn hole. I had to reevaluate that relationship if she was getting beat by newbies."

I laughed.

"Forrest said you were single." Rachel stated.

"I am. Technically. The guy I'm dating, we had our first date last night." I explained.

She nodded.

"Is he up for the adventure of dating you?" Forrest asked.

"Yeah. He kinda matches my crazy, so it works." I smiled.

We then watch the first half of the game. Cowboys are getting crushed. When Rachel started cleaning up at halftime, I helped her.

In the kitchen, as we put away the food, we chatted. By the end of the conversation, I was convinced she is the complete package. Our conversation was all over the place. She has a vast of knowledge on the most unusual things. One minute we were talking about home remedies. The next she was giving me information on seasonal fruits. Then we had a conversation about recent news. It was probably the weirdest getting to know you talk, but she was so warm and friendly it was really fun. I was truly fascinated by her. We traded phone numbers and became Facebook friends and promised to stay in touch. We returned to watch the second half of the game.

Right when the Cowboys started making a comeback, my phone rang. It was Jake.

"Hey babe." I answered.

"Is that the boyfriend? Lily? Is that your boyfriend?" Forrest exclaimed.

"Shut up Forrest." I smiled.

"Lily?" Jake asked.

"Yeah. I'm here."

"Where are you at?" Jake asked.

"Watching the Cowboys game at Forrest's. He had a little get together." I said.

"For a preseason game?"

"Yeah. It was either this or hanging out with Becca because she and Trevor broke up. She's being all sad and depressing. I'm a glutton for punishment. So I chose watching the Cowboys lose instead."

Everyone groaned, hissed and booed at me. I laughed and got up to go to the kitchen.

"What was that? I didn't hear you?" I said to Jake.

"That's ok. I'll let you go." Jake answered.

"Ok Jake. I call you on my way home"

"Alright."

I put my phone away.

"You're dating Jake?" Forrest asked me. He came into the kitchen to grab a beer.

"I am."

"I thought I sensed something between y'all." Forrest commented.

"Well thanks for letting me know! I was debating dating him." I smiled.

"Well, if it doesn't work out, you know you have options." Forrest said.

I laughed. "Sure I do."



After watching the Cowboys lose, I got in my car and headed back to Dallas. I called Jake. I asked him if I could stop by. He said yes, so I did.

I was explaining to him about my night.

"She's totally not what I expected. I think she might be a little A.D.D, but in the best way." I told him about Rachel. "They should be our couple!"

"What is that? Like swinging shit? Cause I'm not interested." Jake said, as we snuggled in his bed watching a SNL rerun. I love Anna Kendrick. C'Mon Pitch Perfect 2!

"No old man. Like, when we're officially together...after the lame dating stuff. We'll need a couple to hang out with, ya know?" I explained.

"No. I don't. Where do you come up with this stuff, little girl?"

"Shut up. I read it somewhere." Maybe a magazine blog...

"Why can't it be Brandon and Rocky?" Jake asked.

"Brandon doesn't support us." I answered.

"Why do you think that?"

"Because he doesn't. Because of Ethan. He thinks it's gonna be drama." I explained.

Jake shrugged. "He'll get over it."

I nodded. I wondered who he was talking about: Brandon or Ethan?