Jake's Backstory: Heartless

So we're taking a little break from Lily's story to see Jake's backstory. The way I have Lily's story planned out in my head, we wouldn't have got this back story to waaay later. A lot of comments mentioned Jake's story. So, I decided to get into it now. It will explains Jake's actions and feelings a lot better, without giving too much a way. It's more like short story from his point of view. And yes, I totally got the idea of another perspective from Olivia at New Beginning New Adventures and Marci at Love Life LA. Check out their blogs if you don't already! Enjoy!

Heartless- Kanye West

"We should have sex."

It's funny how one sentence can change your entire perspective on things. Cara was a cute kid. Well, not a kid. She was 18. Just graduated high school. I'd been out of high school for 2 years, so she was a kid in my eyes.

We were as different as day and night. I graduated high school, skating by with mostly C's and B's. Just enough to get my mom off my back, and allow me freedom to do the things I wanted to do: Play sports, drive the car, and pick up girls. My step dad owned a nursery and a landscaping business, so money was never a problem for me. A long as I stayed on my mom's good side, I was straight.

Cara excelled in school. She believed it was her ticket out of poverty. She lived with her mother, and 5 younger brothers and sisters in her grandmother's three bedroom house. She was a straight A student, on top of working at a grocery store, caring for her younger brothers and sisters, and babysitting other people's kids for money.

She babysat my nephew for my oldest sister, Julissa. At the time, Cara was getting ready to start her first year at a community college. She was commuting from home to help her mom out and save money. But she still wanted extra cash. That's why she babysat during the summer.

 I was working as a bouncer at a few clubs. I wasn't interested in school. Since I wasn't, my mom wasn't going to support me. But that was fine with me. I worked enough to afford gas in the car that was my graduation gift and money to go out. My dad was letting me crash till I saved for my own place. If my sister needed Cara to babysit at night, she would recruit me to give her rides home. I did it without complaint because that meant Julissa wasn't asking me to babysit my nephew.

The night she asked me to take her virginity, I was shocked. We talked on the drives to her house. Mostly me teasing her about being so boring and studious. But it was never more than that. She was nothing more than my nephew's babysitter.

 It registered to me that she was attractive. She had straight, long hair, big, wide brown eyes, pouty lips, and a sexy little body in her hand me down clothes. But in my mind, she was just a kid. If I hadn't had put her in that 'kid zone', I would have noticed how much sexier her clothing became around me. But I didn't, so I quickly turned her down.

My rejection didn't defer her. In fact, it motivated her. I was used to wild girls, who used their bodies and sex to get what they wanted. In fact, those were the girls I sought out. But after she propositioned me, I began to notice everything about her. There was something so sexy about her innocence and curiosity. It was a big turn on to me.

"I just wanna know what it's like. I don't wanna be the only virgin in college." She explained to me one day as I was driving her home.

"Cara, your first time should be special and magical and with candles and someone you love. Not me." I was trying to convince her and my dick. It was working, until she placed her hand on my knee.

"Jake, I chose you cause I'm attracted to you. But if you don't want to, I can get any guy to do it. I'm not asking you for anything more than that." she stated.

That made my mind up for me. If she was gonna do it anyway, it might as well be with me. I wasn't going let any other random dude just get her like that. At least I would go slow and make it feel good for her. And I would wear protection. It would be a bitch if she worked so hard just to get knocked up the summer before she went to college.

We went back to my dad's place. I took her straight to my room. She just looked at me, with those innocent wide eyes. I was expecting her to back down, but she didn't. And I was glad she didn't.

 After that first time, she was mine. I hadn't had a girlfriend since high school, and I wasn't rushing to give her that title. But there was no way I was letting her go. Maybe I was possessive cause I took her virginity. I just knew that everything about her drew me in. Like how she didn't flip out when I was with other girls. How excited she got over the smallest things. How outgoing she was. How she appreciated every little thing I did for her. How quickly she told me she loved me, without expecting anything in return. I was hooked. Even if it took me a while to admit it.

"You should just move in with me." I told her, the summer after we started hooking up. We were laying down in bed, in my new apartment, and she was saying how she was going to have to leave soon.

"Sure I will." She scoffed.

"Carabella, I'm serious. You spend the night almost every night anyway. I love you, mi corazoncito. Move in with me."

She squealed and tackled me. "Mi corazoncito." She repeated, grinning, placing her hand over my heart, as she leaned in to kiss me.

She moved in with me that weekend. My friends thought I was crazy. They woulda told their girls they loved them and asked them to move in too if they had known the affect it had on a girl. Cara lost all inhibitions and gave herself completely to me. She loved reading anything and everything, including Cosmopolitan and romance novels. I would lay back and let her take control as she showed off what she learned. It made me love her even more

My family adored her. On more than a few occasions they asked her what she was doing with me. She would just laugh it off. I swear, I would've married her. I was that sure she was it for me.

We had our bumps in the road. But nothing we couldn't work out. Until she was finished with Community College. She had finally saved up to buy a car and didn't depend on me as much. She started school at SMU for her bachelors in paralegal studies and was working at a gas station. I never got to see her. When I did she was sleeping or studying. Or bitching about chores.When I tried to talk to her about her easing up, she just blew me off.

"I don't wanna struggle for the rest of my life. So this is what I need do." She would preach.

It went from this is what she needed to do, to this is what we needed to do.

"I don't understand why you don't go to school. I would love it if my mom woulda offered to pay for my classes." She would lecture me.

I did take classes. I took classes to carry a weapon because Cara applied at a job for me, working as a commissioned security guard. At the time I didn't want to. But I was grateful afterwards. It was better money and simple. And because I worked a 2nd shift, I had time to go out more. That was my focus, making money and having fun. She hadn't turned 21 yet, so it irritated her that she couldn't go out with me. I made sure to balance my time between her and hanging with my friends. My friends called me pussy whipped, but it was worth it to go home to her.

 In the end, I did take classes. I figured getting a criminal justice associate degree would make her happy. And it did. We studied together and she was cool when I wanted to go out to blow off steam with my friends. Everything was good. For a period of time.

When she did turn 21, she still didn't wanna come out with me.

"Its such a waste of money. We could be saving it to get outta of this dump."

That pissed me off. I never thought of our place as a dump. When she moved in, the used furniture I fixed up for her made her thrilled. Now it wasn't good enough. I made a smart ass comment about her forgetting where she came from, and she cried. I spent the rest of the night apologizing.

Little things would set her off all the time. I just chopped it up to her being stressed. She worked hard and studied hard. It got to the point I would go out more just so I wouldn't argue with her.

After her first year at SMU, she got a job at a law firm that she worked really hard to qualify for. It just showed how when she put her mind to something, she could do it. I was proud to call her my girlfriend. My family was always telling me what a good influence she was one me. I believed it. I worked hard in school so I could keep up with her.

Her work hours grew, and she studied all the time. But it was for the best. The more we spent time together, the more we argued.

I planned a vacation on spring break. I know she didn't like spending money on what she called frivolous things, but I figured we could use the break. Besides, Brandon's parents were funding the RV. He said it was a don't-get-a-girl-pregnant-like-your-brother incentive. A group of us were going to split the cost of gas and go to South Padre Island. I was fantasizing about Cara and I, on a beach, having fun together again. And fucking. Lots of fucking. That was something we still agreed on.

Last minute, she couldn't go. I was disappointed, but I didn't want to fight with her. I planned to stay home too, but she urged me to go. So I did.

It was fun getting away from the pressure and stress Cara put on us. But at the end of my trip, I was ready to go home to her. But when I got home, she was nowhere to be found. Just a handwritten note.

She said she needed space. That she didn't think we were heading in the same direction. I didn't understand.  I planned my whole life around her. Anything she wanted, I gave it to her. I should have called bullshit.

But instead, I called her back to back, pleading with her to come home. I told her I could do better. I would stop going out as much, help out more around the apartment, and pick up more hours so we could afford a nicer place. The time I spent not trying to win her over was at the gym or at work. After a month of proving I was serious about changing, she moved back in. We hardly argued anymore. We were so good. It finally felt like we were on the right path, working and going to school, together. She was graduating in the spring. I would graduate the summer after her.

I didn't tell her, but Brandon and I were planning to go into business together. That's what he was going to school for, Business. And I felt like I knew enough to start our own security company. Our parents' were gonna help out. My step dad's nursery would have been our first account.

But while I was planning our life together, she was cheating on me. Till this day, she swears she didn't. But everything inside me believes she did.

An attorney named Manny from the firm she was working at sent a dozen roses to her at her graduation. It just didn't sit right with me. I'm a guy. I don't send roses unless I'm fucking a girl or trying to fuck her. So I went through her phone.

She had hundreds of texts with this guy. Nothing like sexting or planning to hook up, but there was stuff about me. All of our problems. Everything I thought we worked out. And he told her she could do better.

After taking her family out to dinner, I confronted her about everything. At first, she cried. And said it didn't mean anything. And that she didn't cheat on me. When I wasn't buying it, she turned it on me. That I was suffocating. And that she was growing up and I was the same as when she met me. I wasn't determined enough, successful enough, nor ambitious enough. That cut deep. But I just asked her, "Why are you with me?"

She answered that she didn't know.

We went our separate ways. I didn't fight it this time. I let her words fuel my fire to finish school, start my business, and prove to her I did grow up.

She came to my graduation. My family was thrilled to see her. I tried to play it off, but I was happy too. I convinced her to come see my new place. We ended up hooking up. It was as good as I remembered. I thought to myself there was no way she could deny us. What we had was too strong. She wouldn't walk away from me now. Especially when she learned the plans I had for us. I thought we were on the path of getting back together. Till I woke up to her trying to sneak out of my apartment.

"I'm starting my own business. I bought this place for us. I can be the man you want. Just stay mi corzoncita." I said to her, as she gathered her clothes in the dark.

She froze and sobbed. "Jake... I can't. Manny is waiting for me. This was a mistake."

I was devastated as I watched her leave. She refused to even look at me. But I didn't say a word. I knew this would be the last time I ever felt like this. I built a fortress around myself. I would never let another woman get around it. I would just use women for one thing. Ironically, it was the same thing that started this mess: Sex.