Deadroses

"Turn the radio down
And lay you down too
I could be the one for you
I know we’re not in love
Love is vivid
No we’re not in love
You fall right in it for a week a month or maybe just a minute or a lifetime
What’s the difference- big bang or collision; love is blind
We had a vision though
Now we dead roses" Deadroses by Blackbear

I slept in as late as I could before I had to take Justine to her vet appointment the morning Christian left. He texted while I was sleeping saying he made it back to California. I texted him back before I left, thanking him again and wishing him good luck over the weekend.

At Justine's appointment, her vet assured me her behavior was normal. She told me that we can start giving her quarterly cleanings. When I expressed my concerns about how Justine wouldn't let me anywhere near her teeth, she explained that we could put her asleep for cleanings. I didn't know if it was lack of sleep, but I wasn't sold on the idea of knocking her out for cleanings 4 times a year.

I gave Sammy a call  afterward to update her on Justine but she didn't answer. Rocky called me the night before, so I called her back. On my way to work when I still hadn't heard from Sammy, I texted her about Justine instead. She responded "ok" but that was it. I didn't feel the need to track her down and explain anything, (especially if she wasn't willing to pick up the phone and talk) so I left it at that.

I was in the huddle room at work, rearranging next week schedule when Dr. Fahri joined me.

"I'm going to meet with Dr. Charles for an exit interview. Can you cover his clients?" He asked.

"Sure."

They talked for about half an hour before Vince came back. I went to join Dr. Fahri in the office.

"Is there a reason Dr. Charles is leaving so suddenly?" I asked him, sitting across from him.

"Another job. I saw it coming when he lost out on the promotion here; I just hoped he would hold off until after the season ended." Adil answered, handing me a folded letter.

"What's this?" I said, reading my name scribbled on the outside.

"Not sure- It was in the office last week. I put it away for you."

"Thank you." I said, putting it away as we stood.

 "I went over the schedule for next week. I think we'll be ok. I'm going to come in a few hours early to finish my work before Dr. Clayton leaves so I can help out with patients." I informed him while walking back to the clinic.

"Good. I'll be here as much as I can. The next onboarding schedule is in March. Hopefully I'll have a new hire by then." Dr. Fahri commented. "If you know a good candidate, forward their resume to me."

I told him I would before going on my lunch. I sent out emails to the group of therapists I knew regarding the position. I then opened the note Adil handed me. On the inside was Uriel's business card. Scribbled on the back in neat handwriting read:

It wasn't as good as your birthday cake but I owe you a slice from the wrap party. Give me a call.

I looked over the number, debating what I should do with it. It was kinda cool that he thought about me, but week old cake? Not only that, he claimed he didn't remember my birthday cake before. I knew I wasn't going to call him, but I put it away in my purse.

When I got home, I received a package from Jenna in the mail. It contained a chocolate perfect man and a AMC gift card.

I called Jenna and thanked her for the gift.

"You're welcome. It's a little tradition I do with my sisters." She said brightly.

"Why didn't you tell me about the tradition so I could have got you a gift too?" I asked.

"It would have ruined the surprise." Jenna said.

"Next year we want two gifts." I heard my brother say in the background.

"Don't listen to him. I don't know why he feels a need to get into my business."

"My sister." I heard him argue.

"Our sister." Jenna corrected him.

I smiled, proudly. "I loved it and I'm going to get you a present this year."

"You can still get me something that'll cost nothing but your time." she stated.

"What do you need?" I asked.

"Check in on Amanda. I'm concerned about her being alone all the time."

"Done! I actually saw her earlier this week. I invited her to hang out this weekend, but she said she had to work. I try to include her in stuff I'm doing all the time, but she normally shuts me down." I explained.

"She's introverted- My mom and I have to force her to socialize. If you keep trying, I'll appreciate it." Jenna requested.

"I'll do you one better- I'll kidnap her tomorrow and make her see a movie with me." I promised.

Jenna laughed. "Thank you. Let me know how it goes."

That evening I finally got around to calling Ethan to see what EJ was up to and if he wanted to spend the night on Saturday. He informed me it was his mom's weekend with him and he had a birthday party on Saturday. Afterwards, I gave Christian a call. It went to voicemail.

I stayed up, waiting for him to call me back, while searching for a gift for Jenna and Cam. I found a cute Mr. and Mrs. red decorative pillows that I thought would be great for Jenna's and Cam's first Valentine as a married couple.

When Christian still hadn't texted or call, I went on his Instagram. I noticed he posted pictures of my dinning room when he set up dinner for me. He captioned them simply:

Something special for someone special.

He also posted pictures of him out with musicians in a night club, announcements of were he was djing and links and clips of interviews he did. I went back and listen to the interviews he had over Superbowl weekend and his single release party. I played some of the music he said inspired his album.

One artist he mentioned was Blackbear. His album Deadroses gave me a great idea for a Valentine's present for Christian. I called Jennifer to get the address to send it and paid an outrageous fee to make sure the dozen chocolate roses were delivered by Sunday. I went to bed a little after 1am after receiving no response from Christian.

Saturday morning, I woke up and saw I had a missed call from Christian. I tried to call but no answer. I sent him a text instead.

Me: Good luck with your show tonight. Tell Rihanna I said "Hey"

After breakfast, Justine and I went on an extra long run at a dog park. While she played around, Christian texted me back.

Christian: Just hey?

Me: You can add bae to that.

Christian: Bae?

Me: She'll know what's up {heart eyes emoji}

Christian: I need to know what's up. {Lips, lips, tongue, tongue emojis}

Me: Nothing at all {angel, lips sealed emoji}

I waited 30 minutes for him to respond- when he didn't we left the park. Once we got home, I gave Justine a bath and once again attempted to brush her teeth, but it was not working. I gave up and took a long shower. I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning my house, listening to more music. My doorbell rang and I answered it for Sammy.

"Hey, what's up?" I smiled, letting her in.

"Am I interrupting anything?" She asked.

"Not at all. Come in." I said, leading her to the leaving room and silencing the music on my phone. She sat down on the couch while I sat on the floor.

"So how long have you and Christian been together?" Sammy narrowed her eyes at me.

"We're not together." I said, truthfully, at least, partially. We weren't together currently but I had no idea what the future would bring.

"So he's buying you jewelry, coming out and setting up dinners just because?"

"Not just because. He likes me."

"Do you like him too?"

"I don't know yet. I decided to get to know him better and find out."

She breathed out deeply and gave me a reproachful look. "Let's just take Trevor out of the equation even though we both know he's very much still in it. What you know about Christian is all the shady things he's done: What else do you need to know?"

"I would hate if anyone judged me off my past, wouldn't you?" I challenged her.

She shook her head. "Do whatever you want. I'm just stating my opinion."

I cocked my head at her, thrown off by her attitude. "Based off the time we spent together thus far, I want to spend more time with him. Before I went to San Francisco, you were all for me dating. I'm just curious: what changed? "

"I never thought you would really date Christian. I thought you hanging out with someone else would help you come to your senses and realize what you had with Trevor."

I frowned at her then. "I realize what I had with Trevor. I decided to move on just like he has."

"He hasn't; just like you haven't. He will though and I'm afraid you're going to regret it too late."

I stretched my legs out, considering her words before I responded. "What's the worst that can happen- I end up alone? I'm good by myself. I hope we'll be good too whatever I decide."

"We're fine." Sammy said, simply.

I nodded. "Ok. You excited about the show with Corey tonight?"

"I'm excited he's excited. I betta go so I can go get ready." she said standing up.

"Alright. Tell Corey I said hello." I followed her.

After she left, I saw I had a missed call from Christian. I groaned out loud when I called back and got no response. I called Staci next to finalize our plans for the evening. She was dropping her daughter off and heading my way. Since she wasn't going to have Cherish, I asked if she wanted to go out tonight. After debating where we could go that wouldn't be too crowded, we stuck to our original plan to hang at my place with food and booze and catch a movie Sunday. Since we chose to see The Revenant, we decided to have a Leonardo DiCaprio night with Italian food.

When Staci arrived, we placed an order to the Italian place I loved in Carrollton. Before we went to pick it up, I stopped by Amanda's place. It was so weird being at Trevor's, well, our old place but I shook it off and focused on my task. I knocked on the door, waited for awhile before the door opened. I was shocked to see a short guy answer the door.

"Umm is Amanda home?" I asked.

"Yeah. Mandi!" he called to the back before going back to the couch in front of a video game. "Y'all wanna come in?" he said, when he saw me still standing at the front door.

Staci looked at me. "Um yeah. Thanks." I said, leading the way.

When Amanda saw me at door, she paused, her eyes widen in shock. I gave her a smile. "I was coming to force you to hang out with us. I didn't know you had company."

"Yeah. Maybe some other time." Amanda declined quickly, looking over at her friend nervously.

"Ok. I'll catch you at another time." I looked at her friend too.

"Nice to meet you..." Staci trailed off, suggestively.

"Paul." he looked up from the game, waving his hand, still holding the controller.

"Paul." I finished giving Amanda a knowing look. She looked away. "Ok. Bye."

"Who's Paul?" Staci asked me when we left.

"Ex-boyfriend."

"Ahh... Looked pretty comfortable for an ex."

"I know!" I agreed as we headed to pick up the food.

"What's Cherish up to?" I asked when we were settled in front off the TV with our food at my house. Our first movie was Staci's pick, and she choose the sappy romantic film Titanic.

"At a sleepover with her friends. I'm just waiting for one of them to post a picture with a boy so I can go pick her up." Staci answered as she checked her phone. I chuckled at her.

After Titanic, we watched my movie choice: The Wolf of Wall Street.

"That's bae right there." I grinned at the screen.

"Get in line. Who doesn't want Leo's fine ass?"

"No! I love Jonah Hill. He's so fucking cute and funny."

She looked at me sideways. "You really don't have a type huh?"

"Yes, I do. I love beautiful souls."

"Me too... Just wrapped in a hard, sexy body."

"You're stupid!" I laughed at her. "How's the online dating going anyway?"

"No real contenders at the time. I'm talking to a few guys- Including Daniel." Staci revealed.

"Daniel? Really?" He was the guy that worked with Ethan. Apparently they hit it off at his birthday party.

"Yeah, even though he bailed out of plans so fast when he realized it was Valentine's day. I wanted to tell him to chill, no one's trying to be in a relationship with you." Staci complained.

"Ethan mention before he wasn't a commitment kinda guy." I warned her.

"That's fine with me. Dating, especially online dating, is a numbers game. I'm not looking to commit to one guy unless I can see a future with him." Staci declared.

Our last movie of the night was The Great Gatsby because we both feel asleep on the couch before it ended. I was awakened at 4am by my phone ringing. When I saw it was Christian, I went to my room and answered it.

"Hey..." I said, running a hand through my hair before sitting on the bed.

"Hey, sorry for walking you up. I wanted to give you a call back earlier- it's been hectic."

"It's cool. I know your busy. It's the Grammy's." I yawned.

"Go back to sleep. I'll talk to you later. Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day." I replied before hanging up and going to sleep in my bed.


The next morning, we got up and Staci went to a boxing session with me. We worked off the booze and food we ate before we planned to eat more at the movies.

"Let's go to the movies at the mall. We can pick up some Valentine's sales." Staci suggested as we drove back to my place.

I agreed. At home, Rocky called, asking me if I wanted tickets to a comedy show that night. Staci was more than willing to skip the movies in favor of the show.

As soon as we showered and changed, we headed to Rocky's place together. When we got there, Forrest let us in.

"Hey! Happy Valentine's Day!" I said, giving him a one arm side hug. "What are y'all up to today?"

"Since Rocky didn't want to go to the show, we're going to hang out here-watch some stand up on Netflix." he explained.

"Aw, you're a good dude!" I complimented him.

"Especially for passing the tickets on to us." Staci agreed.

"It wasn't his idea- He was going to try to resell them." Rocky busted him, joining us from her bedroom.

"Really Forrest?" I narrowed my eyes at him while Staci laughed.

He grinned. "I didn't though. You're welcome."

Rocky handed me the tickets before sitting next to Forrest on the couch. He automatically put his hand out to help her sit down comfortably, asking if she needed a pillow or blanket.

"No. I'm good. Show her the post." she said, with a smile.

"What post?" I asked.

"Have you been on Instagram today?" he asked me, pulling out his phone.

"Not at all." I looked over his shoulder.

"No fucking way!" I gasped when he showed me Jordan's Instagram.

"What?" Staci asked, while Rocky laughed.

"Remember Jordan and that guy Blake she's been dating for like a minute?"

"Yeah?"

I showed her Jordan's lastest post, her ring finger sporting a beautiful diamond and the caption: I said yes!!!

"They're engaged!"

"Geez. That was fast." Staci commented.

"I know!" I agreed.

"We think she's pregnant." Rocky smiled.

"I didn't say that. I said I wouldn't be surprised if she was." Forrest said.

"You didn't know about the proposal?" I asked him, pulling out my phone.

"Not at all." he shook his head.

"Would you have tried to talk him out of it?" Staci asked, noisily.

Forrest just continued to shake his head. "I should call and congratulate him. Be right back." He said, walking to the den.

I went though my Instagram quickly to see what else I missed. Amber posted a picture of the dinner she had with Will. Dino and Jake posted a cute candid picture on theirs, and Mia and Dominick were on a date based off her picture tagging him in it. Sammy also posted a picture of Corey smiling at a bar with the caption:

2nd Valentine's Day together. Anyone can buy things to make you feel special, only a special someone makes you feel that way without doing anything. I realize what we have is special and I wouldn't trade it in for anything else. We've been through a lot of ups and downs but there is no one I'd rather be with. It's easier to break up and move on to the next than it is to stick it out and make it work. I stick by him because we have love for each other. That's all that matters.

#Valentine'sDay#CantBuySpecial#AppericateWhatYouHave

I rolled my eyes at her lengthy and shady post. I keep scrolling and saw what Christian posted. He added a picture of 4 meet and greet passes and tickets to the Rihanna concert with the caption: #TellHerHeyYourself

I smiled at his post and liked it before showing Staci and Rocky.

"Y'all coming with me to see Rihanna?" I asked.

"Yasss!!!" Staci exclaimed, excited.

I looked at Rocky and she rubbed her stomach. "Ace will be here in April, so no"

"Brandon can watch him for the night." I pouted.

"I'm breastfeeding."

"I got you a breast pump. You're good." Staci informed her.

"I'm gonna pass." Rocky declined."So what's going on with you and Christian right now?" she asked, curiously.

I briefly filled them in on Christian's visit to see me and the conversation we had over dinner.

"Ohmigosh! You're Christian's Daisy!" Staci declared when I finished.

"Huh?"

"Think about it-He's been in love with you forever, waiting for you to give him a chance to make you happy. You're the Daisy to his Gatsby."

"I don't think he's been in love with her-" Rocky started.

"Thank you!" I agreed.

"But he's definitely was in lust back in college." she continued.

I looked at her, surprised. "You knew he liked me in college?"

She shrugged. "I knew he wanted to hook up. I don't know about like."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I questioned her.

"How many times did I tell you there were other guys on campus that wanted to date you?"

"I thought that was just something you were saying to make me feel better."

"I wouldn't lie to you to make you feel better."

"You should have given me specific names!"

"Would it have mattered?" She raised an eyebrow at me. 

"Whatever." I refused to answer the question. "So that's what we're doing- hanging out, spending time- I'm not sure what to call it." I finished.

"Dating." Staci labeled it for me while Rocky raised an eyebrow at me.

"I guess." I shrugged. It was weird hearing that we were dating.

"There nothing wrong with dating casually." Staci told me.

"I just don't want to lead him on. He said something about making new memories to replace the ones I have with Trevor. I don't know if that's how it will work." I looked to Rocky for her perspective.

"It's not leading him on as long as you're telling him the truth." she said.

"I'm a strong believer if it's meant to happen, it will happen. Just wait and see what happens." Staci encouraged me.

After saying goodbye to Forrest and Rocky, we headed to the mall. We cut out plans to see a movie in favor to finding new outfits for the show that night.

I didn't see anything I loved besides a burgundy pair of Fenty Puma Creepers. They were a collaboration between Rihanna and Puma. I really didn't need anymore sneakers, but I thought they would be cool to wear at the Rihanna concert and bought them as a Valentine's gift to myself. We went back to my place and Staci left to pick up her daughter. We made plans for me to pick her up at her place for the show. I was eating leftovers when Bianca called me.

"Hey cuz! Happy Valentine's Day." I told her, cheerfully.

"Happy Valentine's day! Guess what I got for Valentine's day?"

"Umm... A jet?" I answered.

"No. Close... an all expense paid trip to Dallas to see my favorite cousin." Bianca responded, like a game show host.

"First of all, I'm your only cousin. Second, how is that close to a jet? And third, when are you finally coming to see me?"

I got her itinerary for the following week and made mental notes moving things around in my schedule. When I got off the phone, I took a shower, washed my hair and started to get ready for the show.

When I was ready, I admired my curves in my ripped black jeans and white fitted top, my hair falling in loose waves pass my shoulders and my make-up highlighting the amber in my hazel eyes and the fullness of my rose colored lips. The final touch was my new shoes. Even though it was Valentine's and I had no date, I was so excited to go out and have a good time with Staci.

After saying hello to Cherish and taking a ton of pictures and videos with Staci, we headed to the comedy show. On the drive over, Staci Snapchatted us as we sang along to the radio. When we arrived and struggled to find a parking space, my phone rang. I could tell it was Christian Face timing me by the ring, so I had Staci answer while I parked.

"Hello Christian!" she sang on the phone while I laughed at her.

"Hey... Is Lily available?"  Christian asked

"Yeah, sure. Your Daisy is right here!" she laughed.

"Daisy? Where's Lily?" I could hear the confusion in his voice.

"I'm right here!" I called. I parked and turn the car off.

"I just realized you both have flower names. That's perfect." Staci realized, laughing out loud.

I took the phone from her and smiled at him. He was in a bright, white room- his hair looked perfectly tousled and his face was clean shaven. He looked really great.

"That's Staci... Ignore her." I instructed him.

"Wow... You look great. What are you up to?"

"I was just thinking the same about you. Staci and I are going to comedy show tonight. Are you getting ready for your club appearance?"

"Yeah, we're about to head out. I wanted to let you know I got your gift. You sent me a dead roses?" Christian asked, smiling.

"Technically." I smiled, thrilled that he got it. I included lyrics from the song, but I hoped he could get the chocolate/dead roses reference.

"You like Blackbear?"

"I listen to his album and I like him now. Honestly I never heard of him until I stanned you hard the other night. Don't be creeped out." I admitted.

His smile brightened. "Definitely not creeped out-I'm glad you like it. I'll send you some of my playlists to listen to."

"I would love that- I'll probably still stalk you a little bit." I smiled back at him.

He laughed and we smiled at each other for a moment before he cleared his throat."I don't wanna hold y'all up. I just wanted to thank you."

"Thank you for the Rihanna tickets. I'll probably be up tonight if you wanna call later."

"I have no idea when I'm gonna be done so get some rest. Happy Valentine's day beautiful. Have fun."

"You too. Goodnight."

I hung up and Staci was watching me with a side grin. "That Christian... He's just soooo cool?" she fanned herself, mocking Daisy from The Great Gatsby.

"Leave the comedy to the professionals. Let's go!" I smiled as we got out the car.