Try a Little Tenderness

"You've got to squeeze her, don't tease her, never leave
You've got to hold her and rub her softly
Try a little tenderness, ooh yeah yeah yeah
You've got to rub her gentle man, all you gotta do, no no
You've got to love her, squeeze her, don't tease her
Gotta try nah nah nah, try
Try a little tenderness, yeah, watch her groove
You've gotta to know what to do, man
Take this advice" Try A Little Tenderness by Otis Redding

***FLASHBACK***

College Years

I was in the closet, halfway through Jay Z's and Kayne's new joint album, when the doors yanked open. I specifically picked the hall closet in the apartment Trevor shared with Bilal and Donovan because no one used it. It contained the water heater, unused washer and dryer connections, and shelves that were filled with random junk. It also had just enough room for me to sit sideways, stretch my legs and close the folding doors. It was perfect for hiding out- the only way someone would find me was if they were looking. It took an extraordinary amount of effort to raise my droopy eyes to see who disrupted my solitude.

I looked up to see Christian mouthing something, but I didn't hear what he said.

"Huh?!?!" I exclaimed. He took an ear bud out of my ear.

"What are you doing in here?" Christian asked.

"What are you doing in here?" I rebutted, pausing my music, sounding drunk to my own ears.

Shit. Be cool Lily

"I need my charger for my laptop. It's about to die." Christian said, reaching above me to retrieve his backpack.

I smiled, hoping he would just get his bag and go. "Well you don't want that to happen. The party would suck without music."

"Are you coming back out or are you going to continue to hide in the closet?"

"I'm not hiding." I lied. I was so hiding from the stupid Valentine's party. I hated Valentine's day. I normally spent it avoiding going out at all cost and vegging out with comedy movies.  But, it was my last Valentine's day at Baylor and that's how Trevor talked me into it.

The guys threw a small get together in their off campus apartment. I made myself up in a pink short and backless dress. I swiped on a matching pink lipstick, curled my hair and came to the party determined to have a good time. I was doing well at first- the red punch Donovan mixed up had me feeling great. I spent my time chatting with Trevor and enjoying the music Christian was playing from the couch.

As the punch trickled down, someone decided it would be a good idea to go swimming. Everyone stripped down to their underwear and jumped in the pool. I wasn't doing that (even if I had decided to wear a bra in the backless dress) so I sat down, severely overdressed in my Pepto pink dress and watched. When everyone started to play chicken or make out, I escaped back to the apartment.

I didn't want to watch everyone couple up half naked in the pool nor did I want to be sitting in the apartment by myself like a loner when everyone came back. I thought about leaving, but I came with Tonya and Chelsea who were playing chicken with Trevor and Donovan. I was sober enough to know that walking back by myself was a bad idea. So I grabbed another cup of punch, my phone and headed for the closet. I thought I could just slip back out unnoticed once I heard everyone return, but I was wrong.

Christian raised an eyebrow at me. "So what are you doing if you're not hiding?"

I said the first thing that came into my mind. "Channeling R. Kelly."

Thankfully, Christian face broke out in a smile. "Trapped in the Closet..." he sang to me.

I beamed, excited that he caught on. "I love that song-it was so funny. The singing confrontations? The different voices? The midget?"

Christian shook his head. "I forgot about the midget."

"Have you ever watched Trapped in the Closet while trapped in a closet?" I grinned.

"Never." he said, his smile widen as I motioned for him to join me. He came inside as I got on my knees to shut the doors behind him. He sat on the floor then watched me, clearly amused as I struggled to sit back down. The short length and snug fit of the dress on my thighs made it impossible to cross my legs in the space without flashing him. He placed my legs over his lap, saving me the trouble. I got comfortable and pulled up the videos on YouTube.

"Prepare to be amazed." I said before pressing play. By the end, we were both cracking up laughing.

"R. Kelly is a musical mastermind." Christian declared.

I giggled. "I know right? Much better than the music you were playing." I complained, jokingly.

When he frowned, clearly offended, I quickly added. "I'm just kidding. You're mix was really good."

"I created some of my own beats- it's amateur mixing. It's cool if you don't like it." He claimed, but his face said differently. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I do like it. Really. I'm just hanging out in here 'cause I didn't want to get half naked and I don't have anyone to hook up with." I blurted, than blushed for sounding so pathetic. "I loved how you did You're the One. The beat change was so sexy." I added quickly.

His smile returned. "The beat was made from a girl orgasming."

"What? How?" I sputtered, while my face blazed.

"I slowed it down and chopped it into a beat. Kinda like how Kanye uses vocals." Christian revealed.

"That's genius! I love Kanye. I was just listening to Watch the Throne."

"Great Album." he nodded.

"What's your favorite song?"

"Otis. The Otis Redding sample reminded me of The College Dropout" Christian answered.

"Who's Otis Redding?"

"The guy singing the intro." he pulled out his phone. "I'll play some of his stuff for you."

"Ok."

He played a couple of R&B songs- soulful ballads.

"Soooo sloooow." I leaned my head against his shoulder and took another sip of my drink.

"Yeah, kinda fits into this whole romantic Valentine's mood I'm trying to set here."

I scoffed. Stupid holiday. There was nothing fucking romantic about Valentine's day. It sucked. When I realized I was sneering to myself, I hid my bad thoughts with a fake smile.

"Watch the Throne would fit the mood. Think about it- Kanye and Jay Z are amazingly talented on their own but are able to come together and make magic. That's the kind of relationship I want."

"You think Trevor would get that?"

"Who fucking cares?" I said, bitterly as I gulped down my drink. He wouldn't get anything about a committed relationship.

"It's his party. Gotta play to the crowd." Christian clarified, causing me to blush.

"All he and the crowd are concerned with is hooking up. I think that mood is set with this punch: no music necessary." I supported my defensiveness.

"And how many cups have you had?" he grinned.

"Enough to be hiding in a closet." I grinned too. "Shouldn't you be getting back to the party?"

"Apparently they don't need the music remember?"

I sipped my drink, stalling to come up with an answer.

"Why don't you have a boyfriend?" he asked me, out of nowhere.

I blushed. Probably because I spent the last years obsessing over Trevor. I finally convinced myself to get over it- but I was constantly reminding myself staying just friends with Trevor was for the best. "Umm. No point I guess." I replied instead, noncommittally, gulping down the rest of my drink.

"What do you mean? Not a monogamous kinda girl?"

I coughed on the drink I was swallowing.

Right, I couldn't even get one date- much less multiple dates.

"I mean, why settled down if I'm not looking to get married anytime soon?" I said, with fake bravo. He nodded in agreement, so I continued. "I graduate this year. My plans are to move to Dallas for grad school then back to California after that. Doesn't make sense to try to fit a boyfriend into the plans. Besides, the guy I like doesn't wanna fit anyway-" I cut myself off, my face burning up. How many times was I going to embrass myself in front of Christian.

There was a long awkward pause until he finally spoke again.

"So what are you going to grad school for?" Christian asked, breaking the silence.

"Physical therapy." I said, thankful for a subject change.

"Nice. You're from California right?"

"West coast is the best coast." I confirmed with a valley girl accent and a little dance, knowing he was from New York.

"Fuck outta here!" he said, in a heavy accent that made me laugh.

"Are you moving back to New York after you graduate?"

"Probably. I don't know what I'm doing honestly."

"Making music?"

"Making music doesn't pay bills unless you're successful."

"So? Being a barista pays bills. You can do that and make music."

"My mom will be so proud of me- took out student loans for me to be a barista."

"Fine. Take your degree, and manage a coffee shop. Then you can play your music there- like cool music, not the boring shit they normally play. Like something to wake you up! Make beats with like a rooster... No, coffee sounds!"

"Coffee sounds?"

"Yes! Grinding beans, the drip sound, that ahhh sound you make when you sip it. If you can use an orgasm, you can use that ahhh sound right?"

"I don't know. Do it again and I'll record it and see." he said, holding out his phone.

"No way!" I gasped.

"C'mon..." he said, holding the phone to my lips.

I pressed my lips closed to keep from laughing in his phone.

He played the recording of me saying "No way" back to me. "That's gonna be the beat then. Imma name it Closet Chronicles."

I covered my mouth with my hand and pushed the closet doors open. I was scrambling to get away from Christian as he laughed.

"What are you doing in the closet?" I turned around to see Trevor coming out of his room with a handful of towels. He dropped them when he saw me struggling and came to help me up. Once I was up, he held onto my arm to keep me steady and looked in Christian's direction towards the closet. I took that opportunity to sneak a quick glance over him like I always did. His wet curls were slicked back over his head and a damp shirt clung to his lean torso deliciously.

"What were y'all doing?" Trevor demanded. I looked at his face, ready to explain but his blue eyes were laser focused on me- rendering me unable to form the words.

"Recording Closet Chronicles. Thanks Lily" Christian answered dryly.

"You better not!" I pointed my finger at him as he stood up effortlessly.

Trevor's grip tightened on my arm. "What did you record?" he demanded.

"Nothing. He said he's going to use my voice as a beat but he's not!"

"I won't." Christian promised, slinging his bag over his back. A hard glare was on his face as he looked at Trevor and me. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

Was he upset about not being able to use my voice? I thought he was joking.

"What were y'all doing in there?" Trevor repeated so I turned to him.

"We were watching Trapped in the Closet. It's like a hip hopera. I'll show you later." I promised Trevor.

"Why aren't you outside with us?" Trevor asked.

"Umm, because I didn't wanna drown or make out with anyone, so the apartment was the safest place." I replied.

"But the closet? You can go lay down in my room." he offered.

"I don't wanna cock block you by taking your bed." I countered.

"You're good. I'll be in there in a little bit." Trevor said.

I smiled at him, thrilled. "Ok." I turned to Christian and gave him a hug, hoping there was no hard feelings about the recording. "Goodnight. Play some Kanye for me when you go back outside."

"Only if you let me finish Closet Chronicles." He said, stepping away from me and my hug.

"You can, just not with me! Happy Valentine's day." I called over my shoulder as Trevor pulled me to his room.

He gave me a little wave in return.

***PRESENT DAY***

When I returned home from my appointment, the smell of pancakes hit me as I walked in kitchen.

"Hey." I said softly as I joined Christian at the table. Justine was eating away enthusiastically at her bowl. I looked over her head, trying to make out what she was eating.

"Hey. How was it?" Christian responded, looking up from his phone.

"It was good. What is she eating?"

"I made her eggs. You said soft foods only right?" Christian asked.

"Right. I haven't been giving her table food though. No wonder she didn't greet me at the door."

Christian offering me a plate of food. "I figured you needed pancakes."

"I'm not that hungover. I wish I was. It would make this talk a lot easier." I blabbed, nervously, building up my confidence. "Thank you. This looks great."

"Thank you for having a stocked kitchen. It's been a minute since I've been in one that's really used- not just a show room."

"Jennifer doesn't cook?"

"Her kitchen is where she leaves the takeout menus."

"You're welcomed here anytime. I don't even remember buying pancake mix." I said, placing a bite into my mouth.

"Box pancakes are trash. It's easy to make them from scratch."

I began after I swallowed. "Whatever. These may taste better but they are not as easy as just adding water."

"It's literally flour, baking powder, sugar, butter, milk and eggs."

"Well, I'm not fancy like you."

"This is fancy?"

"Do you see how excited my dog is for eggs?" I pointed at Justine. She was licking her bowl clean. We both smiled at her and I relaxed.

I continued to eat in silence until he spoke up again. "So..."

"So..." I said, placing my fork down.

"About last night-"

"I'm really sorry." I cut him off.

"You apologized already."

"For drinking and throwing myself at you; then getting mad when you rejected me. I need to apologize for lying."

"Lying about what?"

"About Trevor." he just stared at me so I continued quickly. "When he was here, we had a... I don't even know what to call it. I asked him to leave so we didn't get into a fight so I guess it was a misunderstanding."

"About?"

I decided the best approach would be to just get it all out in the open."You. He thought I was dating you. Again. Then he suggested that I didn't want Justine and offered to take her away. On top of that I found out he was dating. That inspired my behavior last night. I'm sorry for trying to use you to feel better about him. I wish I didn't care, but I still do right now. I wanna be over him, but I'm not. I'm so sorry." I repeated.

"Don't ever be sorry for being honest with me. Even when I don't want to hear it, I need to hear it, ya know." Christian said.

"I know. The reason I'm telling you all this is because I do want you as my friend. And I know I haven't been fair to you. I swear, I'm not this big of a mess. I'm working on it. I will be a true friend to you." I promised.

"Ok." he just nodded.

"Ok..." I repeated. I was unable to read the expression on his face, but just feeling the tension between us made me doubt being friends. It made me lose my appetite. I stood up and pushed my plate away. "I gotta get ready for work. I can leave Justine with Amber-"

"She's fine. My flight leaves in the morning-If you don't mind me crashing?"

"Of course not. Thank you Christian."



At work, I was so busy catching up I didn't have time to dwell on everything else going on. I called my daily group huddle and got caught up with everyone. Vince, one of the physical therapist on the night team, informed me this would be his last week by inviting everyone out for drinks Friday. I nodded, figuring he must have put his notice in with Dr. Clayton or Dr. Fahri before I went on vacation. When I spoke to Dr. Clayton before he left, he had no idea.

I spent the next hour in email jail, responding to request and updating schedules. I then found Vince's resignation notice, sent to me the day after I left for vacation. It wasn't even 2 weeks notice. I forwarded it to Dr. Fahri right away and gave him a call. When he didn't answer, I left a message. After checking on the clients and therapists, I went to the huddle board, going over next week's schedule minus Vince.

By the time I left for work, I was exhausted, but not really thrilled to go back home. I wasn't looking forward to another awkward exchange with Christian before he left and quite possibly never talked to me again. I sucked it up, comforting myself with the fact that at least I was being honest with him. What he did with it was his choice- I wasn't going to stress over something I couldn't control.

I came in through the garage and my hopes of friendship reignited at the aroma of cooked food in my house. You didn't cook for someone you were never going to speak to again right? I headed towards the kitchen, but froze when I saw a strange man, in a chef jacket, cooking in various pots and pans. There was also a string quartet setting up in the entry way to the front door.

"Christian?!?" I called out, alarmed. Justine came running from the dinning room and I meet her halfway, rubbing her down. I looked up when Christian approached from the dinning room as well. I gasped when I saw what he did to the room.

The table was set with a burgundy runner, fine white China with a gold trim, gold linens, and rose petals scattered across the table. I don't even know how he dimmed the lights, but that and tea lights candles gave the room a romantic, soft glow.

"What the hell is this?" I gasped.

"It's dinner. I want to show you and Justine fancy." Christian replied.

"But... We talked about this earlier. Being friends. This does not look like friendly dinner. Am I wrong?"

"You did a lot of talking. Think you can have dinner, relax and listen to me?" He said, not answering my question.

"Ok." I nodded, both reluctant and excited at the same time.

"Follow me." he said, leading me to the dinning room. I stopped when we got there, taking in the extravagance of the beautiful decor. I looked him over in his dark skinny jeans, black long sleeve shirt and black Yeezy Boost."I should go change. What do I change into?"

"Whatever you want." he smiled softly at me.

"Right. Ok. Be right back." I went into my room and took a quick shower. I examined my clothes in my closet- I couldn't pull of jeans and a shirt like Christian but a cocktail dress seemed like too much at home. I picked out a long sleeved knit black dress I had hanging up. I pulled my hair back in a bun before applying light makeup, and the jewelry Christian got me. The longest thing I debated were the shoes- it felt weird to wear them at home, but too strange to walk around barefoot with everyone else fully dressed so I slipped on gold flip flops.


I made my way back to the dining room where Christian was waiting. He stood up when I approached.

"You look beautiful." he sat, pulling out the chair across from him.

"This is beautiful!" I commented, sitting down. When he sat down too, the quartet started playing.

The chef appeared bringing over our appetizer of seared ahi tuna. He even brought Justine a portion as well.

"I can't believe people really do this. Like private chefs? This is crazy." I exclaimed.

"My mom was a personal chef." he reminded me.

"I know, but she worked for families not random dinner dates."

"There you go; Assuming this is a date." he said with a little smile.

"I'm gonna shut up and eat now." I muttered, concentrating on my food.

Everything was delicious. We shared a crab and basil stuffed lobster tail and a New York strip steak. Justine had ground beef and barley with rice and an assortment of fruits and vegetables. She ate with no problems. We shared a bottle of wine, but I stuck to my one glass that I didn't even finish. For dessert we sampled a trio of three different molten lava cakes.

"This was... I don't even have the words. More than incredible. I can't believe you did this for me. Thank you Christian." I looked at him amazed.

Christian looked me straight in the eyes. "I'm doing what I wished I would have done back in college."

"What's that?"

"Show you how I feel."

"Christian-"

"Let me finish. I liked you back then, I just knew you liked Trevor so I didn't pursue it. I get that you're still working through your feelings. I walked away back then-I'm saying let me be here for you now until you've moved on from him."

"I don't know when that'll happen Christian." I warned him.

"I get that. You've spent a lot of time and have a lot of memories with him. I don't expect it to happen overnight. I just want a chance to spend time with you; Maybe make some memories of our own."

Before I could respond, the chef joined us, asking if we needed anything else. Christian got up to walk him out, giving me a chance to think over what he said. I figured spending time with someone who was honest with me and appreciated me being honest back wouldn't hurt.

Christian walked over to the quartet. After he spoke to them, they began playing a new song. It took me awhile to recognize the song, but when I did I smiled at Christian."Try A Little Tenderness?"

He smiled back. "Good job." He sat down next to me instead of across from me.

"This is really not fair. Even if I wanted to say no to you, how can I to someone who makes me pancakes, hires a private chef and a quartet for dinner?"

"Do you want to say no to me?" he asked me.

I hid my smile, biting my lip. "No."

"Then let me show you how you deserve to be treated."

I stared at him, not believing I never acknowledge how handsome he was. Yeah, I've acknowledge his body, but his face was pretty amazing too.

"Did you know your eyes have a little green in them?" I asked, admiringly.

"Kinda sad you didn't know that before you kissed me the first time." He scolded me.

"No fair. I was drunk. It doesn't count."

He placed his hand on the side of my face, brushing his thumb against my lower lip. "Are you sober enough to make it count?"

I nodded, all of a sudden a little shy. "Completely."

He leaned in close to me, close enough so I could feel his breath on my lips. He paused, watching me and giving me chance to pull away. I suddenly felt overwhelmed- I was over thinking everything. Did I put my hand around his neck and smile to show him I was ready? Should I just move in the rest of the way? A few agonizing moments later, he made the decision for me by pressing his lips against mine, gently but firm. Just long enough to make me have to catch my breath afterwards.

"You have no idea how many times I fantasized about kissing you." he said, smiling against my lips. "Maybe more than kissing." he confessed.

"Can we keep it at kissing for now? Especially while the quartet is here?" I asked.

"You want me to get rid of them?"

"Is it time for them to go?"

He looked down at his phone. "We got about an hour."

"Think they know any Rihanna?"

"I doubt it, but you can ask."

They did and they played We Found Love as we retired to the living room. We enjoyed the last hour, seeing who could identify the song first. When I wasn't familiar with a song, he put it on a playlist for me to listen to later. After the hour was up, we stayed up talking until he had to leave for his flight. He told me he had to be back in LA for the Grammy's. I was so happy for him when he informed me a song he worked on was nominated. He played it off like he didn't contribute much to the song, but I told him how proud I was of him.

I walked him to the door when it was time for him to leave to catch his flight.

We didn't kiss goodbye, I just gave him an extra long hug and told him I would see him soon.

"It's early, but Happy Valentine's day." Christian said before he left.

"Happy Valentine's day." I told him back with a wave goodbye.