Bad Girls

"And I know I, I should quit her
And I'd do it if I could
She a hot mess, but I confess
Damn, she got me good
Cause I love them bad girls doing bad things
Lookin' hot with an attitude
Love them bad girls like a bad dream
Shouldn't want them, but I do
Singing ooooo, ooooo
All the bad girls singing ooooo, ooooo
Yeah, all the bad girls singing
And I can't help it, no
Damn, it feels good when you're messin' with a bad girl" Bad Girls by MKTO


As promised, I called Rocky when I got off to talk. She told me she was already at my house, waiting for me while she helped Sammy. When I got home, they were up in my "office" (extra room I put the desk my dad bought me) huddled over Sammy's laptop.

"What are y'all doing?" I asked, looking over their shoulder.

"Brandon's teaching me how this shit works." Sammy said, pointing to a spreadsheet with some weird formula on it.

"Brandon?" I said, surprised, looking around waiting for him to hop out the closet or something.

"Hey Lily." He said over the speaker of Rocky's phone.

"What's up Brandon?" I greeted him friendly. Any grudges I had against him I let go around the holidays. He had been nothing but supportive of Rocky and their son. Besides, I learned I eliminated 85% of my problems by minding my own business. I couldn't fight those numbers, so I let go of my negative feelings and attitude all together towards him.

"Nothing much. Finally putting my business degree to work." Brandon said.

"Don't you do that at your job?" I asked.

"No. You can have a degree in art and be an executive at Target." Brandon enlighten me.

"Good to know. I'll let y'all get back to work." I said.

"Me too. I'm gonna talk to Lily while you two finish." Rocky said, leaving her phone with Sammy before she followed me out the room.

We went down the stairs and I offered her something to drink or eat. She declined and I checked Justine bowl. Sammy already filled it, but it didn't look like Justine ate much at all. Sammy also cooked the turkey breast, rice and broccoli I left out so I made myself a plate before sitting next to Rocky on the couch.

"I know you said not to apologize, but I am sorry. I know you don't like Forrest like that and I know he doesn't like you like that too." Rocky apologized.

"One of the reasons I wasn't really mad is because I know you don't really think I would want or try anything with him. I guess I was upset because I don't see how I was being disrespectful." I paused, tearing a piece of my turkey and feeding it to Justine. She wasn't as enthusiastic about eating from my plate like she normally was, but she ate it all the same. "I don't want you to fell uncomfortable with us hanging out. I been there with Rachel." I told her honestly.

"I know that's just how y'all are. I knew it before Forrest and I started dating. It's not a big deal. "

"It is to me. I'm constantly telling people Forrest and I aren't dating. I'm asking you as a friend what do I do to make it seem that way?"

Rocky readjustment in her seat in sighed. "Y'all are just... extra comfortable around each other. The joking and touching can come off as flirting. Add that with the bae stuff- Do you see how people could think y'all are dating?"

I was chewing on the flavorless broccoli while I thought it over. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disrespect your relationship-"

"I know you didn't."

"Regardless, I needed to know. I'm not going to stop being his friend or change how I dress. Now that you two are dating, I'll be more considerate of the way I act. I'll stop with the bae stuff." I promised.

"Thank you. It might not be a problem for much longer. Forrest and I... we're not on the same page about us dating. He took a step back from us. Pair that with him hanging more with you and me being bigger than a house and insecure and I just snapped." Rocky said.

"Do you wanna talk about what's going on with you and Forrest?" I asked.

She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when Sammy came from the stairs, Rocky's phone in hand, eyes and mouth wide open.

"Rocky and Forrest? Since when?" She exclaimed, shocked.

"Shut up Sammy." I said, staring at the phone.

"Oh, he hung up. He's going to look into something for me and give me a call back. I gave him my work cell number." Sammy said, handing Rocky her phone. "Now talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. We were dating. He needs a commitment and as much as I like him, I'm not ready to give him that." Rocky explained.

"I don't think that's what he needs-" I started at the same time Sammy declared, "You have a baby on the way. You should be ready."

I turned and glared at Sammy. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"C'mon. How much dating is she gonna be doing with a kid?" Sammy asked me before turning back to Rocky. "You found a guy you like that's cool with you being pregnant. You need to snatch him up. Unless he's into some weird shit. Is he?" Sammy asked, concerned.

"No." Rocky denied, shaking her head. "He's kind and sweet and not only accepts my baby on the way, but embraces it. I should be ready. I should snatch him up."

"He's not pushing for a commitment, which I'm sure he wants but doesn't needs. It bothered him when you used work as an excuse not to go on a babymoon with Brandon instead of just telling him no."

"Yeah. Brandon thinks he has a chance with you. You need to shut that shit down." Sammy agreed.

"I have. Y'all saw how he acted when I told him I cheated. If I tell him I'm dating, he might revert back to that foolishness. I can handle it. I don't want him to pull away from Ace though." Rocky spilled to us.

"So what? You're never date again? Or get trapped into marrying him? Because I know from my experience as the reason my parents got married- the shit does not work." Sammy asked.

"I think what Sammy is trying to say is that Brandon eventually is going to have to get over it. I think you should give him a little credit. He was hurt back then and lost you. I think he'll do right by Ace no matter what."

Rocky nodded as she thought it over. "I'll think about it. Even if Brandon was fine with it, it feels... bad to be dating while I'm pregnant with another man's baby." Rocky rubbed her face.

"It's not bad..." I said quickly, before Sammy titled her head.

"Every woman needs a little bit of a bad girl. It makes guys stay on their game." Sammy smiled, smugly.



I wasn't sure if I believed Sammy, but I couldn't deny the attention her "bad girl" ways was bringing her from guys. She dyed her hair a flattering gray and immediately hopped on Instagram to show off her pretty new locks. She also showed off her new waist trainer, clothes, shoes and single status constantly. Her captions were either petty shots at Corey or sexually charged- her likes, comments and followers went through the roof. It was really annoying to me. I had to remind myself of 85% of my drama lost and continued to mind my own business. That didn't stop me from venting to Dr. Pereira about it.

"Sometimes the things we don't like about others is the things we don't like about ourselves." Dr. Pereira said after I bitched and moaned about Sammy.

"No. I never prided myself on being a bad bitch. Literally. Every picture is #BadBitch with her boobs or butt hanging out. That bad girl stuff has never been my style." I disagreed, vehemently.

"It's interesting that you used the term bad girl. As girls, we are self-conscious and self-centered. We're going through so many changes that our self esteem is shaky at best. We try to prove our value and worth. Your friend might be using the attention from others to validate herself." She threw out there.

Now that sounded like me...

"Ok. How are you supposed to validate yourself?" I asked.

"As a child, you needed it from your parents. Encouragement and displays of affections are indications of value. If you don't get it from your parents, you might seek it out elsewhere. As a mature woman, you validate yourself so you don't need it from other people. You have to realize your own worth and be secure in yourself. " Dr. Pereira explained. I nodded as I took it all in.

When I got off work Friday night, I headed over to Blake's and Jordan's place to pick Jordan up. With everything going on with Sammy, I completed forgot to dig for information from Amber about Serena. Blake was having dinner with Serena, so we planned to get her out the house for a girls weekend. Friday we were going to a party the Honey Bees were hosting, Saturday was boot camp and beauty day and Sunday funday was a day party Monica told me about- great food, a DJ and happy hour all day.

Jordan and I slid in little black dresses, did our hair and make-up and Uber over to meet Sammy. The party Sammy was hosting was some business anniversary at a loft in downtown Dallas. Jordan and I got free drinks and hung out with Sophia, Sammy's friend, that came out too.

I took Jordan's phone away after she checked it for the 100th time.

"How's Sammy holding up?" Jordan asked when Sophia went to get another round.

"She's doing the best she can. How's Corey?" I asked.

"About the same." She shrugged.

"Did you know about Tori and him?" I asked.

"Not until Sammy asked me where to find her. I didn't believe it until I went through her phone. They were so bad for and to each other. I can't believe she pulled that with him. I honestly think she's back on drugs. That's why I moved out." Jordan finished off her third martini.

"Do you think Corey is too?" I asked.

"No way. Corey was more of a recreational user until he hooked up with Tori. His dependency was on alcohol. He's still beating himself up for relapsing. Even more so now that Sammy left him. I hate Tori for that. He was happy and doing well. She knew he had a girlfriend. Why would she interfering with that? She's the ex. She needs to stay in the past." Jordan ranted.

I smiled. "I don't think you're taking about Tori anymore."

"Why are y'all talking about that bitch?" Sammy growled when she joined us, Sophia right behind her.

"Just talking about what a bitch she is!" Jordan said, loudly. "You still wanna know where she stays?"

"No!" I said.

"Yes!" Sammy and Sophia nodded.

Apparently, I was the only one who thought this was a bad idea. But still, mob mentality or vodka brain made me go along for the ride. We stopped by CVS for ski masks, but ended up with black skull caps instead. We also bought a ton of pink silly string, Tori's least favorite color according to Jordan. Sammy wanted to spell out stupid ho, sideline bitch and crackhead whore on the car with permanent marker or poster paint, but I talked her down telling her that would definitely make it look like she did it.

Sophia waited in the running car and I played lookout while Sammy and Jordan decorated Tori's car. A man across the complex was already pulling out in his vehicle before I spotted it. We dashed to the car and peeled off.

We drove around, laughing at our antics while blasting my new baddest bitch girl power playlist. It was a ton of Nicki Minaj, M.I.A, Ke$ha, Miley Cyrus, Dej Loaf, Lily Allen and Rihanna. We stopped by a beer and wine store before heading home. The whole time Sammy took pictures and posted them to her SnapStory.

"This is our alibi bitches. Everyone in!" Sammy ordered us before we posed, utilizing her selfie stick outside of the store.

We went back to my house and I turned on my dance playlist. We danced, laughed, and got tipsy of wine colors, Limearitas and pouch daiquiris before we eventually passed out.

I woke up the next morning, feeling like trash before I reached for my phone to see what time it was. I opened it up to see multiple texts from Christian. Before I read through them, I tried to piece together talking to him.

We were dancing to Christian's song on  Sammy's Snap and one of her SnapChat admirers started a conversation with her by asking what song it was. We made a Snap, shouting out Christian, the song and his new album, even though I had no idea when either released. I got a text from Christian later on that night, reading: Thanks for finding time to promote the album, even though you can't return my calls.

Under the guise of taking Justine outside, I went to the backyard, and Face timed Christian. When his face popped up on my screen, I poured my drunken heart out. I blabbed about how I needed to stop acting like a bad girl and be a mature woman. I explained how I had to find my inner worth and stop seeking attention from him and my other guy friends by flirting. Especially from him because flirting could lead to something else because I really liked talking to him and how he made me feel and his face and muscles and tattoos. I was asking him about any hidden tattoos or if he'd get my name tattooed on him when Jordan found me. She quickly confiscated my phone, said something about me being drunk and ended the call before making me go inside.

I was mortified by my behavior as I read the texts he sent.

DO NOT TALK TO HIM: It's lame to do this through text, but you probably won't remember anything I said. I need you to know this before you freeze me out again, so here goes.

DO NOT TALK TO HIM: Mature woman or bad girl, I like you too. If things were different, I would pursue you. But with how things ended with Noelle and my album, the only thing I can give you right now is friendship. From the sounds of it, that's all you can give me too and I'm good with that.

DO NOT TALK TO HIM: Let's stay friends and get to know each other better (flirting optional. Your choice) with the understanding that's all we'll be. If there comes a time we want and can give each other more than that, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

DO NOT TALK TO HIM: You've seen all my tattoos- no hidden ones. Names are a curse, so I'll never get your name tatted on me.

The last text was a picture of his forearm. A hand drawn lily obviously created with a pen was next to the bottom of his music bar tattoo. He captioned it: What do you think?

I smiled and changed his contact name in my phone before texting him back.

Me: Flower tattoo? Kinda girly. What's next- a heart or a butterfly?

Christian: It was symbolic LILY. Never mind. I'm washing it off.

Me: I knew all your tats were fake... wanna be tough guy.

Christian: Where are your tats, Miss bad girl?

Me: Hidden. You haven't seen them.

Christian: You gonna let me see them?

Me: Nope. Mature woman, remember?