"One day the skeletons are gonna come out
One day the elephant in the room will make a sound
Watch out for lions and tigers and bears
It's bout to hit the fan, better beware
Tell the truth(x4)
The closest people to you, you can't trust
Your family hurts you more than your friend does
There ain't nowhere to hide, nowhere to go
You better watch the finger too damn close" Tell the Truth by Jussie Smollett
My original outfit I picked was a blue and green plaid skirt and crop top with Ked sneakers a la Taylor Swift. After scrutinizing my stomach, I decided the outfit would only work if I had a taller, thinner body like Taylor Swift or Jordan...
I put the crop top/skirt combinations away and went for a more flattering black polo dress. It showed off my boobs and legs, while hiding my flabby arms, thighs and stomach. I still channeled Taylor Swift, rocking my red Keds, red lipstick, a cat eye, and curls. My hair was thicker than Jordan's, so I slayed her in that category.
"You look great!" Jordan smiled at me as we headed out.
"So does my dress on you, but you already know that..." I joked, half heartedly. Jordan laughed and we got into her car and headed to Top Golf.
There were a few locations in the north Texas area, but they chose the one in Allen. I wasn't familiar with the area at all, but Steven and Q were and they said the location was bigger. It was 3 stories of completely craziness in the best way. It was a mixture of a driving range, (there were lanes to hit the ball off on all 3 levels) nightclub (with the DJ blaring music and lights flashing from the golf targets) and restaurant (full service bar, food, lounge areas to eat)
Steven text Jordan what bays we were waiting for. We made our way up to the third floor. Gregory, one of the nurses, spotted us first and waved us over. I greeted him, Denise, Q, Steven, Tami and Robert with hugs. Besides Q, I hadn't seen any of them since before my suspension. We caught up, talking loudly over the music.
"Derek's not coming?" Steven asked Jordan.
"Probably not." She replied, shrugging.
"Damn. He missed up my numbers." Steven complained.
"My boyfriend is coming!" I told him.
"Is it the same guy that was at Pappadeaux?" Steven question me.
Jordan laughed. "No Steven. That was last year!"
"Ok. Lily, team 1. Jordan, team 2." Steven delegated.
"I'm team shots!" Jordan joked. I smiled and walked with her to the bar. We didn't get shots, but while we contemplated the drink menu, a guy in front of us asked what we were having. Before I could open my mouth to decline, Jordan answered margaritas. While we waited for the drinks, Jordan chatted him up. When the drinks arrived, she thanked him, telling him the bay number we were playing at.
"What the hell Jordan?" I asked as we walked away.
"What?" She said, sipping on her drink.
"You totally used that guy for drink."
"How do you figure? He offered."
"Thinking you were single."
"He should have asked before he offered the drinks." She grinned.
I shook my head at her, but drank too. By the time we came back, everyone arrived including Trevor. He was talking with Kendall and Kendall's friend who named I did not remember.
"There she is." Trevor smiled, looking me over.
"There you are. What team are you on?" I asked, hugging him.
"Team 2." He said, leaning over to give me a kiss. I leaned in too, angling my head to avoid his ball cap.
"I'm team 1." I pouted when I pulled away. "Why are you wearing that hat?" It was red and didn't match his khakis or blue plaid shirt.
"Because I need a haircut. Why are you wearing a dress?" He asked.
"'Cause it's cute." I replied, smoothing it down, self consciously.
"Yeah, remember that when we start playing. I know how you get. Be cute, not a sore loser." Trevor teased with a smile.
"Whatever. I'm always cute and never a loser!" I taunted before we split up and went to our respected bays.
Each bay was kinda like a bowling alley lane. The balls automotive popped up when you swung your club. The object of the game was to hit your ball as close to the targets as possible. The closer you got, the more points you received. The score was kept electronically on screens above us. We were competing individual and as two separate teams. In between turns, we sat, ordered food and drinks and talked to each other over the music.
I've never golf other than putt putting, so on my turn Trevor tried to step in and give me pointers. Kendall stopped him since we were on opposing team. Steven, our team leader, talked me, Q, and Heather through it. Denise and Robert didn't need advice: she played in college and Robert was getting some lucky hits that were rolling onto targets. After the first couple of swings, I had it down; I just had to work on aim.
Individually, I did ok. I wasn't the worst on my team, but we still losing to team 2 that consisted of Kendal, his friend, Jordan, Tami, Gregory, and Trevor.
"It's because we have more girls." Steven complained.
"Fuck off Steven. I'm kicking Q's ass." Denise commented.
"I'm black. We don't golf." Q exclaimed.
"Tiger Woods." Everyone said.
"He's not really black. We don't claim him anymore." Q shook his head.
We were laughing when Jordan turned on us. "Be quiet, I'm concentrating." She said, with a playful grin.
"You can't complain Steven. We have Jordan!" Gregory laughed.
"Keep talking and I'm going to blow my turns" She threatened pointing her club at him.
"That's not what you're doing already?" Kendall asked, sarcastically.
"I quit!" Jordan declared while we laughed. I peaked over to look at her score. They would not miss her few points.
"No you don't. C'mere." Trevor coaxed her, grabbing her wrist and guiding her into the proper stance. I knew he was just helping her out, but I couldn't stop the flash of jealousy and annoyance at them both.
Everyone on my side cheered. I forced my eyes away from Jordan and Trevor and looked at Steven. Apparently, he made a great hit.
"Come on guys! Time for a comeback!" Steven rallied us.
All Steven's coaching didn't help. We still lost. Between Trevor's and Gregory's high ass score, they slaughter us.
"Why didn't you tell me your boyfriend plays golf?" Steven said.
"You didn't ask. He doesn't, at least not regularly anymore. He just got lucky." I explained. He used to golf on Sundays with my brother. Now, he hung out with me.
"You're sounding like a sore loser over there..." Jordan teased me.
"Oh, you shut up. You got the lowest score out of everyone!" I pointed out while everyone "Ohhed"
"Lily-" Trevor started.
"Girl fight!" Kendall laughed at us.
"Bet you won't hit her!" His friend called out.
"Worst score on the winning team is better than the best score on the losing team." Jordan bantered back.
She was right. I didn't even have the best score, so I shut up, defeated.
The best players decided to play another game. It really was just Steven trying to beat Trevor and Gregory, so we condensed down to one bay to let them play along with Denise.
I sat down with Q, Heather, Kendal, and Robert after declining another trip to the bar with Jordan and Tami. I was limiting myself to one drink and Jordan was irritating me so I needed a break.
I told them the whole twisted tale of the suspension and my subsequent quitting.
"The whole thing was so stupid." Q shook his head. I nodded.
"Avoidable if you just talked to Sandra." Robert added. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Or she could have talked to Lily before going to Ann." Heather added. "That's why I don't like Sandra; she's never on our side. Whether it's patients or doctors, when there's a problem, it's something we did." Heather complained.
"She has a hard job. Managing everyone." Robert defended her.
"Which she made harder by dating and trusting the word of a former patient."Kendal stated. "Even I knew it was kids acting stupid."
"Winner's fishbowl." Jordan cheered, sitting a huge drink in front of us. I rolled my eyes at her.
"Losers want a drink?" Q offered.
"I'll come!" I said, standing.
"Me too." Heather joined us.
"Is it me, or is Jordan super annoying tonight?" I asked them at the bar.
Heather gave me a little smile. "She's always annoying."
"You two need to stop. Heather thought you were annoying too." Q told me.
I looked at Heather, and she shrugged. "Yeah, I did. Not going to lie."
"Why?" I asked. "We didn't even talk."
"Exactly. You latched on to annoying Jordan. Then the whole Kendall thing-"
"What Kendall thing?" I questioned.
"Y'all weren't talking?"
"No! I don't date co-workers. I learned that the hard way!" I denied.
"What about Valentine's day?"
"Fuck no. I was dating Trevor! I took Kendall to bitter ball and he hooked up with my roommate."
"Scumbag." Heather muttered.
"If it makes you feel better, she hooked up with her ex at least once and dumped him."
Heather gave me a wryly grin. "It kinda does. Thanks."
We returned back to the lounge seats and watch the end of the game. Steven and Trevor were neck and neck. Jordan was sitting, chatting with the guy that bought her a drink when her phone rang. "It's Derek. Be right back!" She squeaked, standing up and leaving to answer it.
"Who's Derek?" The guy asked.
"Her boyfriend." I smiled. He got up and left.
I was chatting with Q about the jobs I applied to when Jordan returned.
"Is he coming?" I asked, hopefully.
"No." She huffed. "Where'd Paul go?"
"He left when I told him who Derek was." I replied.
She gave me a dirty look but didn't say anything as she sat and finished her drink.
Steven won and Trevor was the first to congratulate him graciously. We moved to the terrace and finished our drinks. I honestly had a great time and I gave everyone a hug at the end of the night and promised to stay in touch.
As much as I didn't want to work at the clinic I was going to miss them; even Heather and Kendall. Not Sandra or Robert. I knew once I started working I was going to miss my lunches with Jordan, even though she drove me crazy sometimes.
"She seems sad. I feel bad for her." Trevor said, when I told him everything, including how Jordan irked the hell out of me.
I wanted to be really spiteful and say she didn't seem sad when she was flirting with random dudes and was getting golfing tips from him, but I bit my tongue. I knew she was sad, but she also had control over that. It was hard to have sympathy when she chose to stay unhappy, so I said nothing.
Speaking of choices, on Monday as I waited to take my drug test, I called Rocky's job to set up an appointment with her. She didn't get in touch with me the entire weekend, so I decided to speak to her at work. I figured that was the best choice: She couldn't hide from me at her job.
I made the appointment for Tuesday under the name Carol Alan. I giggled at my cleverness. She would figure it out if she thought about it: it was the combination of mine and Trevor's middle name.
She didn't think about it. She completely froze when she came out in the lobby to greet me Tuesday afternoon.
"Miss Smith? I'm Carol Alan" I said with a smile.
A dark gleam settled in her eyes as she narrowed them at me before she caught herself.
"Of course. Follow me." She said, her voice calm, her face neutral, but I could tell she was holding in her wrath.
I knew she wouldn't be happy with me just showing up. I figured she offered plenty of times to help me with buying a house. I knew should would be professional. I hoped it would break the ice so she would talk to me later without me being a crazy stalker. It was a win-win situation.
"I'm sorry for coming out of the blue, I just wanted to talk to you." I said, with a sly smile as I sat.
"You couldn't take the hint that I didn't want to talk to you?" She said, still standing across from me. Now I wished I didn't sit.
"I got the hint. I just don't want you to feel that way. You shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk to me-" I explained
"Why would I be embarrassed or ashamed?" She said through gritted teeth.
"I heard about you and Brandon and the nail and bail-"
"It wasn't a nail and bail!" She said, raising her voice.
I looked around, wide eyed.
Why was she mad at me?
"Rocky, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong? You don't get it, that's what's wrong. I don't even know how to deal with you anymore."
I stiffened up. "I'm not a child you have to deal with. You can start by talking to me."
"I have! I told you I don't want anything to do with Bilal and you didn't listen."
I leaned against the chair, physically taken aback.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"That text! I told you I wanted him out of my life and you text me about him!"
"I sent that as a heads up." I argued. "I thought you would want to know."
"I didn't need a heads up! I needed you to listen to me, then you would have known I didn't want to know!"
"I'm sorry. I was looking out for you. I sent the text in good faith-" I tried to apologize, sincerely. Rocky scoffed and crossed her arms. "Are you seriously still mad at me? Over a fucking text?" I said, shocked.
"Are you done? I have work to do." She said, moving behind her desk.
I sighed and watched her. When she glared at me, I crossed my arms too.
"No, I'm not done. I want to buy my dream house. I was told you would be able to help me figure things out financially." I said, stubbornly.
She rolled her eyes before typing on her computer.
"Well, Mrs. Alan, what is your price range? About how much would you like your mortgage payments to be?" She asked me.
"I'm not sure-"
"That's perfectly fine." She said, with an offsetting bright smile. "How much are you paying to rent right now? What can you afford?"
I fidgeted. I couldn't afford anything right now without a job. She knew that. "I don't know yet. My boyfriend and I haven't discussed it-"
"Boyfriend? Who's name is the loan going to be under?" She said, feigning surprise.
"Both..." I said, unsure. We hadn't actually talked about that...
"I must advise you that if you two run your credit together, the scores will stay attached long after you break up." Rocky commented.
"Rocky!" I gasped at her.
"You know what's worse than a break up? A property dispute. Buying a home before marriage is risky. You both should protect yourself. If you decided to apply for a loan together, you should plan what will happen when- excuse me-if you no longer want to live together."
I just stared at her, horrified. How could she say that about Trevor and me?
She handed me a stack of papers and offered me another smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm looking out for you." She said with a fake smile. "So many people do things in good faith without out thinking it through." She explained, pulling out forms from her desk. "Look over these with your boyfriend. They have a lot of great information. Feel free to call me if you two have any questions or concerns. I look forward to helping you find your dream home."
She said it so warmly, I wouldn't have questioned her intentions if I didn't know she was mocking me. I took the papers from her, watching her closely. The smile stayed plastered on her face, her eyes had the same dark gleam. I couldn't believe this was the same person I considered family. Better than family considering I knew her longer than some of my blood relatives. I turned around and left the office.
I was proud of myself. The first tear didn't fall until I pulled out the parking space. I wiped it away quickly, willing the tears away.
I failed miserably as I silently sobbed the whole drive home.
21 comments:
Lily is so self absorbed that she doesn't care about anyone else or how she comes off to others. Rocky is going to walk away from her, and she deserves it.
she didn't deserve that. At all. She's not self absorbed. Rocky is angry at herself, and she's taking it out on everyone. Including Lily. I'm 100% on if she HADNT given Rocky a heads up and he showed up to talk to her, it would be Lily's fault too. She's blaming Lily because she can. Rocky has become toxic. And that's her own fault. She fucked another dude. That's on HER. no one else. Brandon acting the way he did, is on her too. Yes, he was bit of a douche doing the nail and bail, but he's hurting because of Rocky. This is caused all by Rocky and Belial. She doesn't get to force it on others and lay blame. She's being a c u next tuesday.
I don't necessarily agree with that. If Rocky ran into Bilal and she found out Lily knew he'd be around, she'd be mad Lily didn't tell her. That was a catch 22--she would've been screwed either way.
I find Rocky to be really immature when it comes to her relationships with her friends. She's the one who made the mistakes in her relationship with Brandon but gets pissed and cuts Lily out as if Lily was a part of making it happen. I get that Rocky didn't want anything to do with Bilal anymore, but if my ex-boyfriend was staying at my friend's place, I would want to know too so I don't come around. Rocky would of been pissed if Lily didn't warn her and she showed up and saw Bilal (though yes, Lily could of written it a bit different in her message). She's so spiteful to Lily and saying those things about her and Trevor, that's just not a good friend. No matter how mad you are, you shouldn't lash out at those around you and attack their personal relationships just because yours is falling apart, especially when the blame lies solely on you for what you did. I even think back to right after when Rocky cheated on Brandon, and she totally cut out Lily and was rude and distant to someone who is supposedly one of her best friends who had nothing to do with what happened. I think Lily needs to take a step away from Rocky for a bit and Rocky needs to get over herself, get over what happened, forgive herself, and actually talk to Lily. I wouldn't want that kind of friend in my life and if this continues, I think Lily needs to cut ties with their friendship because she did not in any way deserve anything that was said to her.
You know you are a great writer when you can get readers (namely, me) so into the characters I am actually pissed at a fictional character and empathize strongly with another. Great post, look forward to the next one!
YES. AGREE 10000000000%!!
I don't agree with this at all. I think if anybody is being self-absorbed, it is Rocky. Rocky made her bed, now she has to lay in it instead of lashing out unnecessarily and placing blame. This all falls on her. The things Rocky said in this post were seriously cruel.
Totally agree with headkels0h
I've said it from the beginning, lily has the worst friends. Rocky is an asshole and lily
Should kick her to the curb. I don't understand why characters in this blog are all such jerks. Lily doesn't have one friend who isn't an asshole To her. No wonder her self esteem is shit.
Lily and Trevor need to move, nothing really special keeping them there.
Is it bad that I wish Lily would complain to Rocky's manager for her terrible customer service? Just because Rocky is angry at Lily, it doesn't mean she can act unprofessional. At the end of the day, Lily is a potential customer... FIRE ROCKY!!!! Then maybe she'll actually hit rock bottom and see how much she's effed up.
Rocky is being a straight up self righteous, selfish bitch to Lily and to Bilal. She seems to be blaming Lily for Brandon getting pissed at her when her whole situation is her own damned fault. It has gotten really annoying how condescending she is to Lily. She needs to take a good long look in the mirror and realize she has no call at all to behave like she did to Lily and that she is the one behaving like a child here, not Lily. I really hope she wakes the hell up and realizes what a fool she is for cavalierly tossing away Lily's friendship like she is doing. I have zero sympathy for her and hope she ends up with neither Brandon nor Bilal if that is how she is going to behave,
That would be it for Rocky and I if I was Lily. Cannot stand people like that..she's a bitch!
I would like to say I'm surprised by Rockys behavior, but I'm not. She always takes her anger out on Lily. And when Lily doesn't cower down to her, she becomes vicious and turns it around onto Lily, saying she is being immature and acting like a child. Rocky was the first person to tell Lily that she needed to stand up for herself against jake, but anytime Lily tries to stand up for herself against rocky, rocky becomes a total bitch. She doesn't want a friend, she wants a follower, a yes-man. If I were Lily, I would tell Rocky exactly how I felt and if she didn't apologize, I would cut my losses. All that toxic friendship is going to do is make Lily more self-conscious and stressed out.
Cheers!
Charli
Rocky is sad & miserable and when you feel that way it's easier to lash out at others. The only one to blame here is Rocky, she did something bad. If she really knew lily she would see that all she was trying to do was give her a heads up. She's just pissed because Brandon saw the text and left her, but I'm not so sure he would have stayed either way.
I have to agree with the advice Rocky have her though. I wouldn't buy a house with just a boyfriend. I would wait until we are married. I would be more scared to combine our finances without a commitment. But Rocky could've said it a lot nicer.
And I agree with Lily about Jordan. She chooses to stay with Derek and be unhappy. If she likes flirting with other guys then she should consider breaking up with Derek. As far as we know nobody forces her to stay in an unhappy relationship.
Luita
Lily is a lot of things but in this case, self absorbed wasn't one of them. Rocky likes being the hbic and right now when she's messed up her own life, she can't even be woman enough to own it. Who needs her ugh!
Small detail but I really related...I'm a cryer too. I cry when I'm sad, cry when I'm angry, cry when I'm anxious, cry when the wind blows east lol. I hate giving the person who makes me cry the satisfaction of seeing it and I'm glad Lily held herself together long enough to get the hell outta there.
I would me more worried about Lily's body issues - As someone who suffered anorexia for over 10 years all the tell tale signs are there... the exercising, the justifying of cutting back or not eating, the talk of flabby arms, etc...
It would also be a typical time for issues - when things "go wrong" in life and seem out of control you go back to controlling the one thing you can take charge of...
Its a very sensitive issue and I can't wait to see how it plays out
In all honesty I agree. But, she is also a trainer. She needs to be in top shape to train clients. I know a few and they are like her. They eat like birds in my opinion and use water to counter feeling full. Always measuring, working out, counting. So I don't hold too much worry in that regard. But I do agree that the body image (hiding her chunk?! What chunk!?) probably comes from her eating disorder. Being overly critical of how she looks does worry me a bit. If it wasn't for that, I probably could chalk the rest up to being an avid trainer.
Forgot to mention that that body image and her eating disorder may make her go overboard in the cutting portions of food too much as well.
Rocky is a bitch. We all know that and if I was Lily I'd probably reevaluate the friendship and possibly cut my ties. Easier said than done though being friends for so long and having so many friends in common. That said, maybe Rocky was also talking about herself when she was saying that buying a house with someone you arent married to is a bad idea. Isn't that what her and Brandon did? I could be wrong... I cant remember if they own their home or not. Even so, she doesnt need to take things out on Lily like she does all the time. She claims they are best friends but Rocky doesn't treat Lily that way. She treats her like a child. She doesn't share things with her, doesn't come to her with anything an only lashes out at her. Rocky needs a kick in the ass.
Lily is always in everyones business and is always so hurt and shocked when people call her on her mistakes. She seems somewhat immature. I hope in future posts she evolves as a person.
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