Fireworks

*Hey everyone. Sorry about the lack of posts. No excuses except life. Lily will get a proper ending and I'm really really going to try my hardest to post once a week, most likely on Mondays. They may be shorter post, or just updates to when I will post again. Thank you for hanging with me. *

"Oh, today it begins

I've missed them before

But won't miss them again

I keep having the same dream

And I think that I just realized what it means

All I see is fireworks (x2)

Every night it's fireworks (x2)

All I see is fireworks(x2)

Taking off like fireworks" Fireworks by Drake ft. Alicia Keys

After the concert, Ethan and I said goodbye to everyone before we left. I had to be at work Monday morning and wanted to make a few dishes for him to take to his family's barbecue. Ethan tried to talk me out of it, saying there was always too much food, but I was adamant. Beside, his dad requested fruit tarts on Facebook.

"Definitely don't make them. He's trying to be funny." Ethan told me as we got in my bed together.

"What's funny about my fruit tarts?" I asked, cheekily, pulling the covers over us.

"Nothing. Forget I mentioned it." He backtracked.

"No, too late... Are you talking about the petty b-i-t-c-h that attack me through fruit tarts?" I teased, trying my best to hide my grin.

"Nope. I'm not talking about anything. I'm going to sleep." He shut his eyes.

"Now you're tired?" I laughed, rubbing my hands up his body.

"Exhausted." He stilled my hands against his chest, before opening his eyes. My stomach fluttered at his intense gaze and I looked away and saw Justine watching us at the entrance to my room.

"She did that the last time I spent the night. I took her outside, but she didn't need to go." Ethan informed me.

"No, she's probably confused. She normally sleeps with me."

Ethan squinted at me. "She has a whole room and a dedicated space in your backyard, but she sleeps with you?"

"I would never put her outside all night! Besides, she's protective of me. She likes to stay close in case anything happens." I argued.

"How would she protect you? I've seen her back down from a squirrel." Ethan commented.

"I said she was protective of me, not that she would actually defend me. She's an alert dog." I looked over at Justine and pouted. "It's been just the two of us since I bought the house... And you're on her side."

He tilted his head to face me. "Do you want me to go so Justine can have her side back?"

"Of course not. Let's switch sides and I'll share that side with Justine." I said.

When he nodded, I rolled over him as he scooted over to my side. I then gestured and called Justine to the bed. Once she was settled next to me, I cuddled against Ethan.

"You have enough room?" I asked.

"Yes, even though you're on my side." He murmured, wrapping an arm around me and bringing me closer to him.

"I'm in the middle and technically that’s my side." I smiled, burrowing into him. 

"Goodnight."

"Night."

I woke up to my alarm blaring. Ethan's insistence that I didn't have to make anything almost made me lay back down against his warm chest, but I dragged myself out of bed. I was making coffee and snacking on a poptart when Ethan joined me to help. Even though I told him to go back to sleep, he refused, saying that once he was awake, he couldn't go back to sleep. I played my cooking playlist, and we worked efficiently together. Once we were done with the fruit tarts, corn and beans, I took a quick shower and got ready for work.

"Thanks again for letting Justine sleep with us last night. I'm sure she was lonely this weekend all by herself. She's a people person- I hate that she's gonna be all alone today too..." I said, hintingly, as I pulled on my scrub bottoms and top.

"How is she a people person when she's a dog?" Ethan questioned me, leaving the bathroom dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. He was planning to head straight to his parent's house when I left for work.

"You know what I mean! Are you going to take her or nah?" I grinned.

"Since you asked so nicely, I will take her, but I'll treat her like a dog not a child. She’ll probably be outside at my parent’s." Ethan warned me.

"Fine." I said as I moved on to my make-up.

"Speaking of dog sitting, I'm watching Trevor's dog in a few weeks. Apparently, he's a super dog. Trained and everything. Maybe Justine can pick up some of his training." I mentioned, watching his reaction in my vanity mirror as I applied foundation.

He looked up to hold my gaze, his face neutral. "How long are you watching him?"

"A couple of days. Trevor needs me to watch him while he's out of town."

"And he doesn't have anyone to watch him in Austin?"

"I'm sure he does, but I wanted to see him... Thor! That's his dog. So he's letting me keep him while he's in California." I explained.

"Ok." He nodded. We were both silent as we finished getting ready. We didn't speak again until I was done with my make-up.

"You look great." Ethan complimented me.

"I'm glad you like it- I only get dressed up like this on days I know I'm seeing you after work. Any other day, it's a ponytail and moisturizer." I explained, searching for my American flag bandana. When I couldn't find it, I put my hair in french braids so it would have styled waves by the time I got off work. I went into my closet to retrieve the red shorts and an old navy tank I planned to wear to the barbecue.

"You know you're beautiful either way." He said as I walked back into my room.

"Thanks babe." I smiled, gleefully giving him a kiss on the lips before I started to gather Justine’s things. Ethan raised an eyebrow at Justine's dog bed.

"If she wants to nap outside." I explained as we left my room and headed to his truck.

"I didn't realize she had a dog bed too that she doesn't use at night." He said as we put Justine and her things in the backseat, the food in the front.

I ignored his comment and gave him a hug and a kiss before we parted ways. On my way to work, I stopped by a bakery to pick up donuts and kolache's for my team. When I arrived at work, Dr. Goodman beat me there and had already started getting the clinic ready for the day. While he finished up, I channel surfed trying to find something more patriotic to watch instead of ESPN. By the time Fallon and Q arrived a little before 9, I gave up on finding something different.

The morning dragged by slowly. We only had 5 appointments scheduled, 2 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon. On my lunch, I called Ethan and complained about how slow and pointless it was to open the clinic on holidays. He encouraged me by reminding me of holiday pay and the promise to set aside multiple plates of food for me. I told him to Snap it to me as proof.

After my lunch, I ducked into the team lead office, cleaning out my emails to have something to do. Once that was done, I played on my phone, liking videos and photos that my friends posted of Winstar. I eventually received a notification on Snapchat. Ethan did exactly like I asked and snapped me a picture of the plates he made me. I called him and we chatted for about 30 minutes until he asked me if I was still on lunch. I told him I was in the office pretending like I was working. When he told me I should probably do some work, I let him go and went back to playing on my phone.

I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and saw Trevor posted a collage of throwback pictures of last year's 4th of July. We were in Austin together at the fair with Bilal, Sammy, Corey, J-Mike and Jordan. He tagged me in one of the photos of us together- Trevor had his arm around my shoulders, laughing at me as I gave J-Mike an annoyed look as he squeezed between us in his ridiculous Uncle Sam costume. I liked and commented on the photo.

Me: Please tell me J-Mike doesn't still have that damn Uncle Sam suit...

Trevor commented back right away.

Trevor: Of course he does, but he has a new outfit this year. He's going as Evel Knievel.

Me: Oh God, I don't know which one is worst

J-Mike: WTF @Trevor. If anyone at the picnic has the same costume, it's your fault!

Trevor: Don't worry. You'll be the only one stuffing your crotch tho...

I refused to comment on that inappropriate statement, but giggled as the hashtags #SockInTheCrotch and #ShortComings appeared. Trevor texted me as I read the hilarious back and forth in the comment section.

Trevor: what are you up to today?

Me: Supposed to be working, but I'm in the office lmao at J-Mike. What about you?

Trevor: We're going to Willie Nelson's 4th of July Picnic. Packing snacks for the munchies as we speak.

Me: Nice. Pizza Pringles and cosmic brownies?

Trevor: you know me well... But it's hot and spicy Pringles now

Me: lol since when?

Trevor: Since chemo. It fucked with my taste buds. For a little while after, the only thing I could taste was really spicy foods. Spicy chips are my fav now.

Reading that made me feel a strange mixture of sadness and anger. We never really talked about his cancer and the aftermath of his decisions because it was too hard for me. It was easier to just move forward. I reminded myself we let the pass go, but I couldn't help how I felt.

Me: Wow, good to know. I have to get back to actually working, so I'll ttyl. Have fun today at the picnic.

I saw him writing a response, but I put my phone away before I rejoined everyone in the clinic. I went to the huddle room and updated the board. I turned on my 4th of July playlist on my phone as I worked.

"I have a feeling Dr. Fahri did not approve this." Q commented as he joined me in the huddle room. He caught me off guard as I bobbed my head to Estelle’s American Boy.

"He'll never know as long as no one complains." I replied.

"No complaints from me if I can pick the next song." He smiled as I looked him over. He was definitely good looking, athletic with a solid built. He was smart, hard-working and what I thought was an over all good guy. I now wasn't sure how good of a guy he was if he was willing to talk to someone who was married.

"As long as it's 4th of July themed- that way if anyone complains I can call them anti-American." I smiled back at him. I pushed all my thoughts concerning him and Amber away. At the end of the day, he wasn't the one that was married. It was Amber, and I already decided I was staying out of whatever that was going or went on between them.

I played Miss America by J.Cole at Q's request and we took turns playing DJ.

I wasn't really worried about anyone  complaining. Paul Bolen was the last appointment of the day, and he requested we mute the T.V. so he could hear the music so I did and turned it up. The 4th of July music theme changed when he requested Future's and Drake's mixtape. I was leaning towards no until Dr. Goodman 2nd his request.

Dr. Andrew Goodman had to be in his late 30s, maybe early 40s and came off completely professional, no nonsense, straight lace guy. My impression of him was completely off as he knew every word to Where Ya At, and rapped along, complete with humorous hand gestures. I was equally impressed when he forgot to censor himself. It was awesome and led to us all rapping and singing along to our favorite songs. I took a video and shared it on my Snap. I captioned it: #WorkFlow #WATTBA #IndependenceDay #PartyInTheU.S.A

Our impromptu rap battle made the rest of the day go by faster and I wished everyone a happy 4th of July before we all left. I actually drove home before heading to McKinney. I wasn't planning on it, but after seeing Trevor's throwback photos, I realized the tank I chosen was the same one Trevor gifted me the year prior. As I switched from the old navy top to a chiffon blue cardigan with white stars from Bianca's collection, Jordan called me.

"Check my text and call me back!" She exclaimed.

"I'm rushing to get to Ethan's parent's house. I don't have a ton of time. Just tell me what's up." I told her as I undid my braids.

"Forrest is here with some girl. I sent you a picture-"

"You took a picture of some random girl?" I cut her off, surprised.

"Yeah. I figured you'd want to know." Jordan replied.

"You're damn right. Give me a minute." I picked up my phone, noticing Trevor sent me another text. I left it unread before I went to Jordan's. I glanced briefly at the picture of a girl who looked vaguely familiar and Forrest sitting at a folding table at Gabriel's 4th of July bash.

"I don't know her." I said.

"Apparently Forrest does.  Obviously well enough for him to invite her to a party with all his friends." Jordan burst with information.

"Did he say how they met or how he knows her?"

"He introduced her as a friend and when I asked how they met, he said she was djing a party or something."

"Wait one moment." I pulled back out my phone and confirmed what I was thinking. She was the same DJ that played at a bar I went to with Trevor. "I haven't met her, but I do know her. She was djing at this bar when Forrest got her number. They dated a little before he got together with Rocky."

"Well, they're dating again. I didn't know if I should tell Rocky..."

"Um, no. Let me get some more information before you say anything." I advised her.

"Ok. I can interrogate her..."

"No. Not necessary. Thanks for letting me know."

"Anytime." She said before we hung up.

Instead of calling Forrest and demanding answers, I sent him a happy forth of July message before I headed out. I was pulling up to the Carter’s house before he responded with a simple: u 2. I frowned at his weak response and his overall lack of communication since he’s been back in town, but I decided to let it go for now and deal with him later. At the moment, I just wanted to relax and enjoy the barbecue. Ethan let me in the house, looking relaxed and comfortable in navy board shorts and a short sleeve red striped button down. I gave him a hug before he led me into the kitchen.

"Hey. Is Justine with EJ?" I asked as I followed him.

"No. EJ left with his mom already. My dad's keeping an eye out on her in the backyard." Ethan stated as he pulled my plates from the refrigerator. "Are you ready to eat?"

"Absolutely."

I went to wash my hands as Ethan heated up my food. He told me majority of everyone was out in the pool or in the backyard but I could eat inside before joining them. I declined, stating I would take my food outside. While I waited for my food to heat up, he showed me a video of EJ playing with Justine and the other kids. EJ was trying to entice Justine in the pool by playing fetch. EJ threw the ball in the pool, Justine ran over to the edge, barked at the ball in the water, then turned away. I laughed and had him send it to me so I could post it online with the caption: Justine noped out. After my platter plate was heated, I took one and Ethan took the other before walking me out to the backyard patio.

I let Justine play in the backyard away from the kids in the pool as Ethan set up my plates on the table where Rocky, Brandon, Deborah, Ethan's aunt Vicki, his half sister Tami and her husband Sean were sitting. I waved to everyone before I sat down next to Rocky. Vicki asked me questions about myself. I answered them all between devouring my food. She let up as more family came to the table and Ethan introduced me as his girlfriend. There were a lot of family I recognized from other events, but I made a conscious effort to remember all his extended family members now. When I finished eating, Ethan asked me if I needed anything else before taking my plates away.

"You got him trained well. Way to go." Tami nodded at Ethan's retreating form.

I shook my head with a friendly smile. "No. Deborah raised him right." I turned to Deborah. "Thank you for inviting me. Everything was amazing."

"You know your always welcomed." She reached out to pat my hand. "Besides, Albert is dead set on figuring out what's in your dad's beans recipe so thank you for making them."

"No problem. I'll write him the recipe tonight." I offered.

Deborah laughed. "No, he likes to believe he can recreate things by taste. He could have texted your dad awhile ago, but he wants to figure it out on his own."

I wrinkled my nose, half amused and confused. "He has my dad's number?"

"Yes. I believe him, Jose and your dad are in a group text together." Deborah disclosed.

My eyes widened while Rocky smothered a laugh with her hand, causing Brandon to smile at her.

"A group text? What do they talk about?" I gasped, my mind racing with what my ex-boyfriend's dad, current boyfriend's dad and my dad had to talk about.

"I have no idea." Deborah smiled at me as Ethan returned.

"Did you know your dad is in a group text with mine and Jose?" I asked him as he sat down next to me.

"He mentioned it." Ethan confirmed.

"For how long? What do they talk about?" I pressed.

"Since they all went fishing on New years day and I don't know. I don't think they text that often." Ethan shrugged.

"Let's ask him." Brandon grinned, good humoredly. "Hey Dad!" When Albert looked up from the dominos game he was playing on a card table across the yard, Brandon asked, "When's the last time you talked to Lily's Dad?"

"Maybe a few weeks ago. It's a shame you couldn't get the time off to take Lily to his wedding Ethan. Carlos was disappointed you couldn't make it." Albert stated, turning back to the game.

"Me too." Ethan responded. I saw a glimpse of something flash in his eyes before he looked over at me, his face unreadable. I squeezed his hand under the table, hopefully conveying I would explain later. He didn't say anything so I took that as him understanding.

"Can't babies breathe underwater?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I think when they're first born they can." Brandon answered when Rocky shrugged.

"Let's see with Ace." I grinned.

"Try it and you'll be going under." Rocky threaten me.

I laughed. "You better be glad I didn't bring my swimsuit."

"You better be glad you didn't bring a swimsuit." Rocky smirked at me.

“Where is Ace?" I asked Rocky.

"Inside napping." Rocky answered. "I should probably check on him."

"I'll go with you." I said standing up. When we were inside, I asked. "Do you and Forrest still talk... On a regular basis?"

"Since he's came back from Shreveport, yes." She nodded.

"Well, that says something that he's talking to you. I can barely get him to respond to my texts." I muttered as we continued into what used to be Brandon's room. Ace was still sleep in his bassinet, so we crept out and went back outside.

"I need to tell you something-" I started before telling her Forrest maybe dating someone else. When she stood there, pensively, I continued. "I planned on asking him about her. Do you care? Do you want to know?"

She took a deep breath. "I care... But I don't want to know if it's not serious. He would have told me about her if it was serious."

I nodded and we headed outside back to the table. Ethan had joined his dad, uncle Ricky, and cousin Damien playing dominoes. I stood beside him to watch. When Damien got up because his son was misbehaving, Albert instructed me to sit down and play in his place. After a few games with Ethan racking up a ton of points and dominoing, his Uncle Ricky kicked me out, claiming I was teaming up with Ethan to help him win. I laughed, saying if I had that kind of skill I would set myself up to win, not help Ethan.

"C'mon girl. These men get too competitive. Let's go break into the liquor cabinets and get us a drink." Tami said, standing by my side with her husband.

"Stay out of my liquor Tami! You know better." Albert huffed at her, playfully.

"Don't be stingy dad. Besides, your guest wants a drink." She waved him off, looking over to me.

I stood up to follow her and Ethan held my hand to stop me. "You really want a drink?"

"Yes. Remember, you promised me a drink if I helped you win babe..." I joked.

"I knew it! Damn cheaters!" Ricky went off while Albert, Sean and I laughed. Ethan shook his head, and I gave him a kiss on the cheek before Sean took my seat and I followed Tami into the house.

Tami went for the Hennessy and poured us Hennessy and Cokes. We took our drinks out by the pool where Rocky was sitting next to Deborah with their feet in the water. I politely listened to the conversation as Tami's daughter Shandra excitedly shared her plans for her birthday party while floating on an inflatable swan. It was her sweet 16 and she was having a Y2K themed party in honor of her birth year.

"I'm so glad Serena is still willing to help with the party. After everything that happened with Ethan-" Tami trailed off.

"Tami-" Deborah started, visibly annoyed.

"I'm just saying, it's really sweet that she still will help. That's all." Tami cut her off, coldly.

Rocky shot me a concerned look. I shrugged, more curious than bothered by the Serena comment. I think it upset Deborah more than me as she excused herself to dry off. Tami began to interrogate me about Ethan and me.

"How long have y'all been dating?" Tami asked.

"Maybe a month or so." I answered, simply.

"Nothing ever happened before a month ago or did y'all just get together really fast?"

I didn't understand her need to know the timeline of our relationship. "We were friends for awhile and our first few dates just confirmed we wanted to be together, so I guess both."

"Where do you see the relationship going?" Tami followed up.

"Umm... I guess where every relationship goes when you care about each other and it grows." I took a sip of my strong drink, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"So marriage?" Tami continued.

I blanched the mention of getting married. We were nowhere near that.

"I think that's between her and Ethan Tami." Rocky responded for me, sharply. "Let's get in the shade." Rocky told me.

I followed her away from the water to a shaded portion of the pool on a lounge chair.

"Jeez. Is she always so..." I started.

"Bossy, nosy, bitchy? Pretty much." Rocky finished. "First time she saw Ace, she told Brandon he didn't need a DNA test."

"Wow...." I said, equally offended and disgusted for Rocky.

"Welcome to the family." Rocky toasted me. She gave me the dirt and gossip on most of Ethan's family- who was cool, who to avoid, who didn't get along with who. 

"What are y'all doing over here?" Brandon asked as he joined us with Ethan and Ace.

"Nothing." Rocky said as Ethan pulled up lawn chairs beside us.

"Just enjoying the shade." I emphasized.
Rocky snorted and then we both laughed. Brandon handed Ace to Rocky before they sat down.

"How much have you had to drink?" Ethan asked sitting beside me.

"Just one... but your sister pours heavy." I smiled at him, latching on to him and resting my head against his arm. When I saw that Rocky and Brandon were occupied with Ace, I spoke softly to Ethan.

"My dad invited you to his wedding, but I told him you couldn't make it." I started.

"Is there a reason you didn't ask me?" He looked at me.

"I mean, I didn't want to contradict myself saying I wanted to go slow and then invite you to my dad's wedding. And when you mentioned it was a busy time of the year for you, I just told my dad it was too short of notice and forgot about it." I stated.

"Ok."

"Is it ok?" Something in his tone had me convinced it wasn't.

"Yes." He nodded at first, but then elaborated. "I want you to know it's not too short of notice, but if you think it's too soon, I understand."

"Thank you." I said, relieved and grateful that he did understand. I squeezed his hand in mine. "And you're welcome. You want home court advantage when I introduce you to my dad as my boyfriend. Definitely not in a foreign country where you don't speak the language."

"I took over 5 years of Spanish in school. I'll survive." He said, confidently.

"Really? Say something to me in Spanish." I challenged him.

"Hola. Como estas?" He said.

I snickered. "Was that 5 years of Spanish or 5 minutes of Dora the Explorer?"

"En boca cerrada no entran moscas. {In the closed mouth, flies do not enter}" he continued in perfect pronunciation.

"Are you saying I need to shut my mouth?" I gasped, reaching over with my other hand to trap his hand in mine.

He smirked. "Yes to keep the flies out. That's what Dora meant right?"

"You know damn well that didn't come from Dora!" I pinched him, hard. He just smiled and escaped from my grasp, placing his hand safely around my shoulder. We stayed like that, chatting, eating dessert and taking pictures until the fireworks started. 

Apparently, the Carter's house had a great view of 2 different city displays. One was close enough that we could hear the pops.

"How's Justine around fireworks?" Ethan asked me. "I can take her inside if I need to."

"No, she's good. Beside, you said she can't go inside and you're not going to baby her." I reminded him.

"Too late. He did all of that earlier." Albert revealed.

"Whattt?!?" I said, giving Ethan a sly smile.

"Carried her inside and everything." Brandon added.

"You carried her inside?" I exclaimed, shocked.

"She was off her leash and overly excited because the kids kept trying to splash her. I didn't have a choice." Ethan explained.

"You always have a choice. You could have let her get splashed, but you protected her and carried her to safety." I praised him, dramatically.

"Please stop." Ethan shook his head, a smile forming in the corners of his mouth.

I pressed against him, smiling before looking up to the sky to watch the displays. The rest of the evening was chill and relaxed. I had a great time watching the show with Ethan. When the shows ended and the kids went inside or got ready to leave with their parents, the adults played old school party music, busted out more drinks and danced around the pool. I really wanted to stay for the adult party, and tried to get Ethan to practice swing out dancing with me, but he had to work in the morning. I said goodnight to Rocky and Brandon, who were spending the night at the house. On the way out, Albert invited us to stay too.

"We both have to work tomorrow." Ethan explained as we joined Deborah in the kitchen who was packing up food for us to take home.

"And Ethan mentioned something about the music giving him Saturday morning serenade flashbacks, so we have to go." I taunted Ethan.

"I get them too Ethan. Your dad ruined a lot of good songs for me." Deborah shot Albert a look, shaking her head.

"How can you say that? I got you singing." Albert boasted.

"I chose you despite your singing." Deborah corrected him, handing over a bag of food. I chuckled as I gave her a hug and thanked her. I went to hug Albert next.

"What's your favorite Earth, Wind and Fire song?" I asked softly as I embraced him.

"Love's Holiday." Albert replied after we pulled back.

"Perfect. I plan to bring back morning serenades with Ethan. I'll start with that song since Ethan loves Earth Wind and Fire so much." I grinned.

"I heard that." Ethan stated before telling his parents goodnight. I waved as Ethan grabbed Justine's leash and led us to the door. After we got Justine in my car and settled, I wrapped my arms around him for a deep kiss.

He kissed me back, tucking me between his body and my car. I moaned at his passion, my knees buckling as I gripped him tightly, rubbing against him.

"Do you wanna come back to my place?" I breathed, wantonly.

"Yes... but I'm not going to." He responded, pulling back reluctantly. "Can I see you on Friday? I don't have a date planned, but we can do dinner or a movie."

"Sounds perfect." I grinned, a dirty song lyric coming to mind.

Why not be my dinner, why we make a movie...

"Don't." Ethan implored me.

"What?" I giggled, trying to portray innocence as I plotted making dinner of Ethan...

He smirked at me. "Whatever you're thinking, stop."

"What makes you think I'm thinking something?"

"Your eyes."

I blinked. "What about them?"

"They appear more green when your aroused."

"That's really not fair considering it's damn near impossible to read you." I said, staring up at him.

He kissed me softly one last time before letting me go. "Call me when you make it home."

"I will." I said before he opened the door to my car to let me in. After he closed my door, I took off.

That night, I got home, called Ethan, took a hot shower and got into bed. I made Justine sleep in her dog bed, on my bed, to begin training her to sleep on the dog bed. Once she was settled, I pulled out my phone to text Forrest. I wanted to see him in person and figured the leftovers that Deborah sent me home would entice him. Before I put my phone away, I checked the messages Trevor sent me.

Trevor: Ok. If you get bored at work, hmu

Then he sent a selfie of him with J-Mike in a white Evel Knievel inspired jumpsuit taking pictures with a few girls in the background. Trevor had an American flag bandana tied around his head that looked eerily similar to mine and a mockingly annoyed expression on his face- an homage to the throwback picture he posted of us earlier in the day. I typed out a few responses, before settling on:

Me: Did he really stuff his crotch?

I watched my phone, waiting to see if he would respond. When I saw him typing a reply, I smiled.

Trevor: he totally did. His ass too. He took a lot of those ass pose pictures you love if your interested...

My smile turned into a laugh. I went on a rant anytime a girl posing with their ass showed up on my feed.

Me: Fuck no. I'll even let you keep my bandana if you don't send them or post them. I don't want to see them on my feed.

Trevor: I have no idea what you're talking about... And they're already posted.

Me: Bullshit Trevor... I'm deleting you from my friends again so I don't have to see them.

Trevor: If you do that, Justine can't see Thor fetching so she can learn.

Me: lol shut up! At least she cuddles with me. Your dog won't even get on the bed.

Trevor: Good thing they'll be together soon. Maybe they'll rub off on each other.

Me: We'll see. Good night Trevor.

Trevor: We shall. Good night Lilypad.

I put my phone on the charger before going to sleep.

Tuesday morning, I woke up with a text from Forrest saying we could get together whenever I was available. When I said this morning, he told me he'll meet me in 30 minutes. I got dressed in my work out clothes and texted Rocky confirming I would meet her at the gym for our boxing work out.  Forrest was over around 9am, and while I pulled the food out the refrigerator, I stated, "Long time no see."

"Yeah, been busy." He said, stroking his beard.

"Busy avoiding me?"

"I haven't been avoiding you."

"Ok... Not talking to me. Whatever you want to call it."

He drummed his fingers on the table. "Maybe a little bit. I'm just trying to move on. After Rocky, I needed time to figure stuff out."

"Ok... but you're able to stay in contact with Rocky, the person you're moving on from but you need time from me?"

He rubbed his neck, embarrassedly "I never cried to Rocky about how no one wanted to be with me."

"Dude, how many times did I cry or get drunk over Trevor with you? How is this any different?"

"Because Rocky is your friend. You told me when we first started dating your loyalty would be with her. It makes things complicated."

"Yeah, but life is complicated. You're the one who told me that if I believe life is like a fairy tale I shouldn't be in a relationship. Loyalty shit aside, I want us to be friends, regardless of who you're dating. Do you want that too?"

"Of course I do."

"Ok. So we talk it out... No matter how complicated it gets."

"Deal."

"Now tell me about DJ girl. Is it serious?" I asked him.

"Wow. I knew Jordan sent that picture to you. She wasn't slick at all."

"No... Subtlety is not her strong point, but don't change the subject."

"Her name is Kassandra. We're hanging out but it's not serious."

"So like a casual, rebound hook up thing?"

"Exactly like a casual rebound hook up thing."

I nodded. "Good. That's the way to go."

He furrowed his eyebrows at me. "I didn't think you would be cool with that... For Rocky's sake."

I sighed. "Honestly, I like you and Rocky together. I think you make a good couple, but the timing is wrong."

"Yeah." He agreed, looking away.

"If I was with Ethan when I first wanted to be, I probably would have ruined it so bad we wouldn't even be friends right now." I continued. "Dating other people made me appreciate Ethan even more, so you should date. Have fun. Keep it casual until you know and find what you want." I continued.

He flashed me a smile. "Listen to you: all mature and dropping knowledge. The Lily I knew would have cursed me out today. I like Ethan for you."

I chuckled. "Naw, you like therapy for me. Don't get too comfortable though. Pull this ghosting me shit again and I might forget my therapy..." I threatened him.

He chuckled too. "Yes ma'am."

Before he left, he reminded me about the annual mud run and gave me the site to sign up and register. I posted the link and tagged my friends stating it was that time of year again. I left at the same time as Forrest, rushing to make it to my boxing class. I was about 10 minutes late and when I got there, Rocky was already breaking a sweat, looking fierce and like a pro after 3 classes. When our workout was done, we went grocery shopping.  I asked if she was running in the mud run with us before I told her about hashing things out with Forrest. I confirmed what she was thinking that he wasn't dating anyone serious.

At work, I didn't hear any complaints about our rap battle or the music I played during the day. Dr. Clayton did make a comment about how much the staff enjoyed working with me and if I think I could handle all the holidays. I laughed and told him I could, but I wouldn't want to. That night, I called Bianca back as we played phone tag over the weekend.

"That romper really looked great on you." Bianca complimented me. "And I saw you rocking one of my blouses- You and Ethan matching with the stars and stripes looked really cute or whatever."

I smiled, thinking about my profile picture- it was me smiling at the camera while Ethan smiled at me. "Me wearing stars and him wearing stripes wasn't even planned." I stated.

"Yeah right." She snorted.

"It wasn't. I was going to wear an old navy tank until I realized Trevor gave it to me. But forreal, I wore the romper last weekend. The length, the skort, the comfort- I want one in every color." I gushed.

She laughed. "You need to be my marketing. You get B2B: Back to Basic- basic pieces with great fit and quality material at reasonable prices. Not every girl wants to be on fashion nova looking like a cheap insta-thot."

"Exactly. You should have girls modeling the clothes being like yeah, we're basic bitches and we love it!" I pumped her up.

"You know what? Never mind. Stick to your day job." Bianca clowned me.

"What do you want then?" I laughed.

"There has been a slight change of plans for my birthday."

"Why? Are you still going to Vegas?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm contractually obligated to have my birthday party there."

"Wait... what?"

"It's just a few hours at a night club. Exposure, branding... None of that's changed, but I invited Beatrice to come."

"Beatrice? As in, my Dad's fiance Beatrice?" I clarified.

"Yes. We've been working on the wedding parties gowns. She wanted to include you in the fitting and figured since you were going to be in Vegas, we can do it then. Then we got to talking and her maid of honor was planning a bachelorette party and I told her they should come to Vegas instead. Make a weekend out of the fitting."

"And she agreed to that?" I asked.

"Not at first, but she's a huge Mariah Carey fan and Mariah has a show so I talked her into it."

"Ok..." I trailed off, still confused to how this came about.

"Are you upset?"

"No. A little confused, but it's your birthday. If your cool with it, I'm fine."

"I am. Beatrice has been so good to me. I mean, your dad, Jenna and Cam too. They've all been so good to me-  and it's going to be awesome. Like a birthday/bachelorette party. All girls, all fun!" Her enthusiasm convinced me.

"I agree... I personally prefer J-lo, but I can rock with Mariah as well. Rocky and I will see you in 4 weeks. Basic bitches weekend!"

"No Lily!" She laughed before getting off the phone.

I told Rocky about the change in plans for Vegas and she was all for it. She was an old school Mariah fan, so she was excited to see her perform her classics- as long as she knew the words and didn't try to dance that much. I called Jenna to see if she was planning to come as well. She hadn't been on a vacation without my brother and was counting down the days. I teased my brother later that night how we were going to get drunk and how much Jenna loved the stripper at her own bachelorette party.

"Beatrice doesn't want strippers." Cam informed me.

"That's what they all say until balls are flying in their face."

"Ew, gross Lily. I didn't need that mental picture."

"Which one? Your wife or Beatrice with balls in their face?" I giggled.

"Both. You need to picture how dad is going to react when he finds out his fiance and daughter went and saw strippers together."

"How would he find out? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

"You just told me. Why wouldn't I snitch you out?" He pondered out loud.

"Because you owe me."

"For what?"

"How bout for telling Trevor and Dad I was in a relationship before I could."

He laughed. "I didn't tell anyone anything. Did I mention to Trevor you may not be able to watch his dog because you maye have previous engagements with someone else? Sure I did. Did I suggest to Dad he includes a plus one for you when finalizing his guest list? Of course. That was me being a good friend, son and brother."

"Keep telling yourself that." I rolled my eyes.

"And on the note of being a good brother, Dad is planning to come to Dallas after the wedding to formerly meet Ethan."

"Oh God. Aren't they going on a honeymoon?"

"It's a destination wedding: wedding, reception and honeymoon all in one."

"No wonder Dad was all for it." I sighed. "I didn't tell Ethan he was invited. I just told Dad he couldn't come. Ethan found out because his dad and our dad are in a group chat together. Dad told Albert he was disappointed Ethan couldn't come."

"Was Ethan pissed when he found out?"

I thought about that look that flashed across his face before he caught himself. It wasn't anger- I was familiar with that look. Maybe he really was disappointed too...

"No. He wasn't angry. He was completely understanding. He didn't like that I didn't tell him."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because we've only been officially dating for a month. We just started hanging out with friends.  I'm trying to not rush into everything and take it slow."

"Ok." Cam stated. I knew he wanted to say more, but blissfully, he kept it to himself.

"You didn't sound surprised by their little group chat... You knew, didn't you?!?!"

"I'm hoping once Jenna gets pregnant, they invite me to that group chat. Then we can talk about how ungrateful our children are." He joked as we laughed.

Once I got off the phone with my brother, I tried not to dwell on why I didn't tell Ethan about the wedding invite or his reaction to it. I notated it and planned to discuss it with Dr. Pereira. I spoke to Ethan on Thursday and we planned what movie we wanted to see. I decided to pick something at the movie cinema grill instead of the Netflix and chill situation I was imagining before. I recommitted myself to taking it slow.

Monica called me Thursday while I was at work to get on me about tagging her in the mud run event. Apparently, Trent really wanted to do it and was trying to talk her into it. I told her that she didn't have to run, they had a luncheon for wimps like her who refused to get down and dirty for the cause and Trent was welcomed to run with me. She advised me that Trent was trying to talk Uriel into running too. I remained nonchalant and said he should. Lord knows how much running he did after sex, he should come in first place. She laughed and commented his ex-fiance complained about the same thing. She told me she would let me know about the mud run and I advised her if there was any chance they wanted to go, to book a hotel now- so they can shower, change and hit the stockyards per tradition afterward.

On Friday morning, I had my appointment with Dr. Pereira. We talked about my holiday weekend. I talked briefly about Christian and me ignoring his shenanigans, me choosing to keep myself out of what happened with Amber and my coworker Q and me talking pretty regularly with Trevor now. I really focused on my relationship with Ethan and how fast it was going.

"I'm glad we're exclusive because the thought of him dating someone else was too much to bare and I truly believe we have something special... But I'm worried we moved too fast. We jumped into a relationship too fast."

"What makes you think that?" Dr. Pereira asked.

"I'm trying to go slow but it's so hard. And when I'm with him, I don't think logically."

"What do you mean, you don't think logically?" She followed up as she wrote notes quickly.

"I don't feel like it's rushing. I felt like things were moving too fast with Christian. That's why I needed to define my relationship with Uriel as just sex or just dating. With Ethan, I don't feel that at all. In fact, it's kinda of the opposite. It feels like a natural progression: That I want to be around him and he wants to be around me. That he's mine and I'm his. And I really, really want to have sex with him. I know it's moving too fast, so I hold myself back from him."

"Emotionally or Physically?" She stopped writing to look at me.

"Both." I admitted.

"There's a lot to unpack here Lily."

I scoffed. "Tell me about it. It's constantly going on in my head."

"Let's unpack it one by one."

And we did. She asked me for signs that it was moving too fast. I stated my dad wanting me to invite Ethan to his wedding. His mom and dad considering me family. Being asked about marriage: by his sister and his son. We started with nullifying all outside influences because it was me and Ethan's relationship. I then admitted I didn't tell Ethan about the invite to the wedding. I just told my dad he couldn't make it because I wasn't ready to introduce him to my dad as my boyfriend. When she asked me why that was, I took a deep breath.

"My dad... You know he said things to an ex before-" I started.

"Trevor." She nodded, flipping through her note pad. "Your dad told him he was a playmate not a partner, and Trevor started doubting whether he was good enough for you. When he was diagnosed with cancer, he told you he had nothing to offer you."

My eyes welled up with tears but I blinked them back. "Yes. And I don't...I don't want to ruin things with Ethan. I don't want him to doubt us."

"Do you trust your dad with your boundaries?" 

"I don't know. Maybe."

"What did we say about I don't know?"

"I don't know if he would respect my boundaries."

"I didn't ask that. I asked if you trust your dad to respect that boundary with you."

I thought about it for a minute. It was hard to separate the anger with how dad made Trevor feel unworthy back then to how much I trusted my dad now.

"Yes." I breathed deeply. "Yes. I trust he wouldn't cross that boundary again."

"And do you believe that Ethan would communicate with you if your dad did?"

"Yes." I answered with no hesitation. Ethan was too straightforward not to.

"So besides your fear of your dad ruining things between you and Ethan, why is it too soon to take him to the wedding?"

I sniffled. "It isn't."

"Understand, if you would rather go by yourself, then go alone but be honest with him. Don't hold yourself back from Ethan. All you're doing is cheating both Ethan and yourself from knowing the full potential of your relationship."

"Ok." I nodded.

That night, I took Dr. Pereira's words to heart and decided not to hold myself back anymore. I pulled out a sexy navy zip up dress that fell a little above my knee and hugged my curves. Knowing how cold the theater can get, I grabbed a yellow jacket to wear off my shoulders. My make-up was minimal- beige shimmer eyeliner on my eyelids and a soft peach on my lips. My hair was down, wavy, falling over one shoulder. My lily earrings and bangles finished my look. When I opened the door for Ethan, he stood there for a moment, looking me over sensually before he met my eyes.

"You look gorgeous." He said, in a deep voice that made me ache between my legs.

"Gorgeous enough to make it a Netflix and chill night?" I tempted him.

"Absolutely, if I didn't already buy the tickets, we would have stayed here." He smirked.

"I'm gonna pretend you really want to see this movie and not that staying home with me is not worth the 10 dollar ticket." I smiled back, closing and locking the door.

"13 dollar ticket, but you're right baby."

I held his arm as he drove us to the movie theater and walked us to the box office. We redeemed our tickets and got our seats in the middle of the theater. It was torture being so close together, feeding each other or holding his hand but not being able to do more. At least this time it was the fear of being indecent in public and not the belief I had to hold myself back for fear we were moving too fast.

After the movie, on the drive home I turned to him. "I've been thinking about my dad's wedding, and I would love it if you came with me."

He looked over at me briefly before focusing on the road. "What changed your mind?"

"I was overthinking about us moving too fast, but I know we're honest and respect each other. I trust if anything happens or if we feel any kind of way we will talk to each other."

"Right." He agreed.

"So, getting out of my head changed my mind. I just asked myself would I rather go alone or be with you. And it's with you. I always would rather be with you."

"Quiero estar contigo. {I want to be with you}" He told me, shooting me a grin.

"Practicing for the wedding huh? How about...Quiero sentirte dentro de mi. {I want to feel you inside me}"

"One more time." He requested. "Slower."

"No. You think native speakers will slow down or repeat themselves. What did you hear?"

"You want something inside?" He said, unsure.

"Close enough." I teased.

"What did you say?" He asked as we parked outside my home.

"Come inside and I'll show you." I smiled, hopping out the truck and strutting to the door.

He followed me and as soon as we were inside, I latched on to him; throwing my arms around him and bringing his head down for a kiss. He returned my feverent kisses as I led him back into my bedroom. I shut the door to keep Justine out and pulled at his shirt. After I had his shirt off, he yanked my front zipper down, exposing my purple satin bra and matching thong. 

"You like it?" I asked him as he unbuttoned his pants.

"Very much." He grunted in appreciation as he pushed my dress off my shoulders.

"When I came back to Dallas, I went to Victoria Secret and bought a whole bunch of lingerie with the goal of seducing you." I confessed, as I pulled his pants down.

He groaned. "Really?"

"Yes. That night you came over to pick up EJ's inhaler on Memorial Day- I planned on seducing you until my brother came over." I said, guiding him to the bed to lay down.

Any response he had I kissed away as I straddled him. He tried to cradle my head and bring me closer, but I shook away, trailing kisses down his body. When I got to the waistband of his briefs, I looked up at him to see him watching me. I made a show of pulling down his briefs while we made eye contact. He broke eye contact, his eyes rolling to the back of his head when I sucked him into my mouth. I kept it up for a few minutes until he was nice and hard. I climb up his body, until I was straddling his hips.

"Quiero... I want. Sentirte... to feel. Dentro de....inside of. Mi." I breathed, very slowly as I rotated my hips against him.

"Lily..." He moaned, stilling my hips movements as he grew even harder against me

"Tienes condones?"

"No Lily." He panted, as I moved my panties to the side, angling my hips, trying to slide him inside of me. He gripped my hips hard to stop me.

"I'm on birth control. I was tested a few months ago. All clean." I groaned in frustration, the dull pain of his fingers digging into my skin doing nothing to dampen my desire. I switched back to English so he would understand and let me push him inside of me.

"Baby, no." He moaned, fighting to maintain control of my wiggling hips. "I want to make love with you."

Him using the term making love didn't leave me cold and turned off like Christian did, but it did make me stop moving. I immediately felt I wasn't ready for that and anxious that he was. He did want us to stop, so maybe he wasn't there yet either. He never said the L-word, but sometimes the way he looked at me...

My thoughts were cut off as he pulled my panties back in place. He grabbed one of my hands and enclose it over his erection. He began to thrust up against me, his hardness stroking my wet, satin panties and brushing up against my clit. I squeezed gently, matching my strokes to the movement of our hips. We both watched between our legs until he came, groaning softly as he released. I went to my bathroom and retrieved a towel. I cleaned myself up before going back into the room with a warm wet towel. I wiped him clean before laying beside him.

"I'm not ready to make love." I told him truthfully. "Are you ok to wait?"

"If you are, I am." He said, sitting to give me a slow, sexy kiss. I moaned when he pulled away.

"Siéntate." He rolled back on his back, patting on his face. "Aqui."

"What Spanish class taught you that?" I said, straddling his chest before inching up to his face.

"5 minutes of Dora the explorer." He replied, sarcastically before his lips parted me. My smart ass comment was lost with the first swipe of his tongue.