Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
'Cause they’d stick up for me.
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed" If I Were a Boy by Beyonce
I tried to wake up to find out who's voice was carrying into the guest bedroom at Rocky's house, but I was too exhausted/disoriented/hungover for my body to comply. I knew I knew the male voice but in my hungover state it wasn't coming to me.
Curiosity and the need to use the bathroom made me get out of bed. I groaned every step of the way. Everything hurt and my appearance showed it. Last night clothes were disheveled and wrinkled on my body, my eyes were puffy and bloodshot, my hair was a mess and my make-up was smeared all over my face. I cleaned up using cold water to wake myself up and decrease the swelling and redness. After pulling my hair up in a bun, I looked more like someone who had a great time the night before and less like someone who cried herself to sleep.
Afterwards, I made my way into the kitchen. Disgust filled me when I saw Brandon. Mostly disgust at Brandon- why the fuck was he here? The last time I saw him he was yelling at Rocky at a Waffle House like a fucking lunatic.
I was a little disgusted at myself too. A part of me was disappointed it wasn't Trevor. I hoped Trevor saw the pictures from the night before and realized how much he missed me. Why was I still hoping for him to come back? I needed to let him go.
"Morning." I grumbled, pushing the thought of him out my head.
"Afternoon." Rocky corrected me. I shot her a disapproving look before narrowing my eyes at Brandon and making my way to the coffee pot.
"You drank coffee?" I asked Rocky, annoyed.
"It's decaffeinated." Brandon chimed in.
I poured the lukewarm coffee in my new drinking glass and added sweet cream and ice as they continued their conversation. When Brandon confirmed the next doctor appointment, I grabbed a straw and slurped my drink obnoxiously, grabbing the attention of both of them.
"I'll text you the address." Rocky told him, subtly leading him to the door.
"Can I get the ultrasound before I go?" Brandon asked.
"Right. I'll be right back." Rocky shot me a warning glance before leaving. As soon as she was out of hearing distance, I turned to Brandon.
"I'm surprised you want the ultrasound. You know that doesn't determine paternity." I informed him smartly.
"Why would I need that?" Brandon asked, worried.
"I just figured you want it considering how you think Rocky is a dumb ho." I said, returning to sipping my drink.
"I told Rocky how sorry I was." Brandon said, putting his head down in shame.
I rolled my eyes. Rocky was sorry too when she cheated. That wasn't enough for him. Why should it be enough for Rocky? Why did she have to wait for him to come around and be forgiving when he finally did? Fuck that.
"Yeah, you are sorry." I said, slamming down my cup. "I think it's best-"
"Here it is Brandon." Rocky said, interrupting me. Rocky and Brandon chatted like everything was hunky dory and it made me sick. I grabbed my phone, the chocolates Forrest bought me and took Justine outside in the backyard.
As I picked through the chocolates, I went through my phone. I had missed calls from my brother, Amber, and an unknown number with a Dallas area code. I didn't get my hopes up about the unknown number- there was no voicemail so whoever it was wasn't that eager to talk to me. I called my brother back.
"Hey bro." I greeted him when he picked up.
"Hey sis. Congratulations on the promotion. Thanks for calling and letting me know." He returned, sarcastically.
"Thanks. It was official last week. I wanted to get it in writing before I told everyone." I reasoned.
"Sure. Make sure you call dad and let him know." He said.
I didn't want to talk to or about Dad so I said nothing. There was a brief moment of silence, before I asked, "How's Jenna and everything?"
"Jenna is good. Everything is good."
"Good."
Another awkward moment of silence. I opened my mouth to say goodbye, when Cam spoke up.
"You aren't going to tell me about Trevor?"
I sighed and fidgeted in my seat. "What do you want me to say? It didn't work out. We broke up."
"I could tell that by Facebook, which is the only way I found out. What happened?"
"He left."
"Why?" Cam questioned me.
"He said he couldn't be with me anymore and he needed a break and he couldn't give me what I wanted. Take your pick." I sighed, frustrated.
"That doesn't even sound like him. You didn't question him?"
I felt tears welled up in my eyes. Instead of questioning him, I gave him a goodbye fuck. "No, I couldn't. He fucking changed his number and quit his job and moved back to Wichita Falls with his racist mom. I haven't talked to him in a month so your guess is as good as mine."
"Fuck, I'm sorry Lilyp-" he started. I cut him off before he could finish the nickname Trevor started.
"Don't be sorry. Everyone knew we wouldn't work out. Even dad knew we wouldn't last a year- It's not that big of a surprise." I spat.
"Lily, he didn't mean it like that..."
"Whatever. Are we done?" I snapped.
"Yeah. Congratulations again. I love you sis."
"Love you too." I said, before hanging up. I wiped the tears from my eyes before closing up the chocolates. I went through my text messages next. I had texts from Jordan, Forrest, and I discovered the unknown number was Richard. He told me it was him and to give him a call. I decided to text back instead. It took a couple of drafts, but I sent him a response.
Me: I heard you know your way around a hammer and you're an expert at nailing.
While I waited, I sent Forrest a text too. He asked if Rocky and I wanted to go out and watch football with him and his friends. I told him I'll get back to him when Rocky joined me outside.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Rocky asked as she sat in the chair beside me.
"Sure." I said, reopening the chocolates and offering her one. She took one before she began.
"I appreciate you looking out for me, but you're being overprotective." She stated.
"I have no problem telling Brandon off for you. He has it coming plus more. I understand you being nice to him; you don't need the stress while you're pregnant. " I started.
"I can take care of myself- with Brandon and being pregnant. You're just doing too much. I need you to back off a bit." Rocky said, calmly.
I stood up. "Fine. I'll be outta here today."
"Lily, that's not what I meant." Rocky said. I went to retrieve Justine no longer paying attention.
I gathered my things; thankfully, it wasn't a ton of stuff. I loaded my car and went to get Justine last. Rocky was petting her while I put on her leash.
"Lily, I don't want you to leave. Let's sit down and talk." Rocky tried to reason with me.
"I'm all talked out. I'm backing off. Take care of yourself." I said, pulling Justine away. I ignored the sad look that passed on Rocky's face and left. I didn't even realize I was still in last night clothes until i stopped for gas. I called and asked Forrest if I could borrow his shower. He sounded confused, but agreed.
When I got to his house, he let me in and led me to his shower. After bringing me towels, he left me alone. I took a long, hot shower and changed into my Colin Kaepernick jersey and leggings. I took my time carefully doing my make-up and pulling my hair in a sleek ponytail. I took a selfie and posted it on Facebook and Instagram with the caption:
Ready for San Francisco 49ers to beat NY Giants tonight with @Forrest! #ColinKaepernick #Go9ers #WestCoastIsTheBestCoast
"Hey, I thought we were going out. Cowboys play at 3 right?" I asked, sitting on a bar stool.
"Yeah, but they play New England. They're going to get slaughter. Might as well stay home for this game." Forrest responded.
I smiled. "That's the spirit!"
"You ok?"
"I'm greeeat!" I replied. My phone beeped and I looked down at it.
Richard: You're not supposed to believe what you hear, but that's correct.
Me: lol. I just closed on a house that's needs some remodeling. Even if you don't have the time to take on a new project, I would take any tips you have for me.
Richard: For you, I have nothing but time ;-) Let me know the next time you're at the house.
I grinned, happily.
"Who are you texting?" Forrest asked me.
"Richard." I said.
"Who's Richard?"
"Dino's brother's roommate." I explained. I pulled up his Instagram and showed Forrest a picture. "He's hot right?"
"I can't judge another man's hotness. You think that's a good idea?" Forrest continued.
"Yeah, he's outside my circle, which you told me the next guy I date should be. And he does contractor work. It's a win-win." I argued, scrolling through his pictures.
"When did I say that?" Forest asked.
"St. Patrick's day. The salt and pepper shaker? Remember? A-salt-with-a-deadly-weapon?"
"Oh!"
I grinned finding a shirtless picture of Richard. His shorts were low on his hips, showing of that sexy V muscle. I held it up to Forrest. "Even a straight guy can acknowledge he has a great body."
Forrest snatched the phone from me.
"Hey!" I protested.
"Eat." He commanded, sitting a plate of pasta jambalaya in front of me. My stomach growled in anticipation and I grabbed my fork and dug in.
"I meant dating at all. It hasn't been that long." Forrest clarified.
"It's been month! He left me! If I was one of your guy friends, would you ask him the same question? No, you would pat him on the back and tell him to get over the bitch. That's what I'm doing." I said, between shoveling food in my mouth because it was that freaking good and because I wanted my phone back.
Forrest chuckled and grabbed a napkin.
"What?" I asked him.
"Blake told me I dodged the bitch when Rachel and I broke up." He explained, wiping the corner of my mouth.
I took that as a sign to slow down and stop being a pig. "Blake is good people. I need to hang out with him more." I commented.
"No you don't."
"As a friend. He'll give me good advice. Not the shit you're peddling."
"Fine. Next time ask to borrow his shower."
"No way. I bet he can't cook like this. Can I have a little more?"
Forrest smiled, refilled my plate and gave me back my phone. I took a photo of the food. I posted it online with the caption:
@Forrest cooking seriously has me considering becoming a Saints fan... or a trip to NOLA#Jambalaya #Football#WhoDat
"Q didn't know y'all weren't talking. He assumed she was coming and talked to her about it at work." Amber explained.
"Well, the Taylor Swift concert is this weekend. Know anyone who wants 2 tickets?" I asked.
"Stop. At least she's making an attempt."
"No she's not. She needs to man up and apologize. Until then, we are never ever ever getting back together!" I sang.
"You're crazy." Amber laughed at me.
I really wasn't planning to impose on Forrest and crash at his place, but the game between the 49ers and Giants was so close, I couldn't leave. When the 9ers lost, I moaned, complained and grieved with the remainder of my beer. I got up, and stumbled a bit. I lost count of how many beers I drank. Forrest put me in his spare room on his day bed. I woke up the following morning and left when he went to work. He told me I was welcomed to crash however long I needed, after I called Rocky and talked it out.
I knew I was over reacting. I just needed a break from all the fucking emotions. I went to the boxing class to punch out my aggression. Dominick wasn't there, but I normally saw him on Tuesday. Afterwards, I went to Rocky's house, showered and headed to work early. I wanted my shit together for my first day as team lead. I probably was a little overzealous, considering Adil was still around making sure the transition was smooth. I prided myself in not needing him as I instructed my team.
I went to Rocky's house after I got off. She was up, snacking on the rest of my chocolates.
"I was going to apologize for being a bitch, but I think we're even now that you ate my chocolate." I smirked.
"I didn't think you were coming back. No use wasting good chocolate." She replied.
"I get it though. Whatever you decided with Brandon and your baby, I'm here to support you. That's it."
"Thank you." Rocky said simply. "Did you stay at Forrest's place the other night?"
"I did." I smiled. "Speaking of, did you get in touch with an inspector?"
Rocky informed me she made an appointment with an independent home inspector. I set it up with Chad and we were good to go. I also invited Richard and he was able to come. I dressed sexy, but casually in a white scooped neck long sleeve t-shirt, ripped jeans, and the new thigh high boots Sammy bought me. I left my straight hair down, added some stud earrings, and put on a little lip gloss, liner and bronzer.
I grabbed my Chuy's gift card and headed out. I planned to take Richard out to lunch as a thank you (and our first date!). When I got to MY house, Chad's assistant already let the inspector in and he had been working for an hour. Richard showed up a little after me and I greeted him with a smile and hug. He looked great in navy Chinos, a white tee and Timberland boots. He talked with the inspector while taking measurements and notes. There was definitely something appealing watching him do such manly tasks.
After the inspector went over the report with me, I offered to take Richard to lunch. We went to Chuy's and we sat on the patio. It was surprisingly awkward at first. I remembered when I came with Forrest the first time. We barely knew each other, but it was so easy. We chatted and got to know each other comfortably. I was expecting Richard to try to flirt with me, but he didn't. He was talking about writing out a contract with estimates! I didn't know if he was still in professional mood, but I had to get him out of that for my plan to work.
"So..." I said, lightly after the waiter dropped off our drinks. "If we're going to work together, I feel like I need to know you a little better."
Richard gave me a questioning glance. "You need a resume? References?"
I smiled. "No, we can go straight to the interview. Inside or outside?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"Ok, rule number one: you just have to pick one. The first thing that comes to your mind." I instructed him.
"And this is going help you decide to work with me how?" He questioned me.
"I don't know shit about renovations or remodeling. I have to know if I can trust you." I lied.
"Outdoors. Like on your deck."
"While on the deck, are you drinking Coke or Pepsi?"
"Not sure what that has to do with remodeling, but neither. I'm not into sodas." He answered.
Urgh, why was this so hard?
"Rule number two: you have to pick. Besides, how in the world do you drink rum?" I said, trying to stay laidback and fun even though he was annoying me.
Just answer the fucking questions!
"Ice and if I have to, a tiny splash of coke." He replied.
I grinned, glad he was getting into it. "Good answer. I wouldn't be able to trust a Pepsi guy."
Over lunch, I found out he preferred Mexican food to Italian, night over morning, summer to winter, and briefs over boxers. He broke the rules on a few- like he rather watch soccer than baseball or football and neither on thongs or boyshots. I didn't complain because at least his answers were informative. My last question was east or west coast. He said he rather be down south, but if he had to pick, west coast was the best coast. I was thrilled he was checking out either my Facebook or Instagram.
"Thank you for joining me." I said as we got ready to go.
"Do you trust me enough to do the job?" Richard asked as we walked to our cars.
"I do." I said, giving him a hug, making sure I pressed my body against his.
"Then the interrogation was worth it then." He said, pulling away.
"The questions weren't for the job." I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek before walking to my car door. I gave him a smile. "See you soon."
I went to work and my brother called me. During my lunch, I worked through getting the huddle board done for the next week and reading over the notes Dr. Clayton left me. When I finally left, I saw I had another call from my brother.
I called him back, wondering if he was off from work yet. He answered on the second ring.
"Hey bro. What's up?" I asked, concerned.
"I talked to William. Trevor didn't quit." Cam began. William was the owner of the job Trevor and Cam used to work at.
"I called his job. The receptionist told me he was no longer working there." I sighed.
"I know, he's not."
I thought about it, then it hit me. "What? He got fired? Why?"
"He didn't get fired either."
"That doesn't make any sense." I said, getting upset. I had a great date. I didn't think about him at all. Why was he bringing this up? "You know what? It doesn't matter; I don't care."
"William legally couldn't tell me anything else, so I talked to Craig. Trevor's on leave." Cam continued anyway.
I remembered Craig. He was one of Trevor and Cam's coworkers.
"Yeah, he's done that before. For that website, remember?" I said, pulling into the driveway of Rocky's house.
"Lily, it's medical leave. All Craig knows is that he drove Trevor to some appointment. Trevor told Craig he was getting tested for something his dad had." Cam revealed to me.
I sat in my car, trying to process what he just told me. When it dawned on me, my hands shook and the phone fell to the floor.
30 comments:
I can't remember what his dad had! Can someone remind me?!
So, I'm still not interested in Trevor making a grand return. But that being said he's probably seen all the fun she's had with her friends (including Forrest) and probably assumed she moved on with him and refuse to take her back if she makes a move in that direction anyways (not that she should beg him to have her back at all).. Which I wouldn't mind her & Forrest at all TBH but Richard is lame lame lame
I don't think Trevor thought this out at all. It wasn't fair to not give lily a choice to stand by him. And he had to know people would find out eventually. I don't remember what his dad had either, maybe he never said?
His dad passed away from Colon cancer. The next post is Trevor's POV. More on that to come.
Blah blah blah Trevor's sick and figured Lily couldn't handle it. That's not how relationships work. I loved Trevor, but seriously he needs to fuck off and Cam needs to not tell Lily this shit. I've moved on from Trevor and she needs to, too! Ugh. I'm too emotionally involved :-/
I wish this was a book I could just not sleep and read and read and read.... I am way to involved because I am already greedily wanting more!!! Please post soon!!! And I like Trevor, relationships are never perfect and sometimes you make bad decisions and you love so much you just want to protect that person from the hurt.
Wow I'm so thankful I never dated any of these people commenting, you're all so heartless. I get that he should have given her the choice to stick with him but geez, if my boyfriend and friend of ten years may be dying I would CARE!
Ok I used to be team Jake but now I think I'm team Trevor - I hope it's nothing serious and that he will allow her to be with him through it!! :( He should have been more open and honest with her though.
I'm with you I think they expect him to be perfect ... he is dealing with something he saw his father die from I could only imagine what he is going through emotionally and physically. ...people make mistakes I still see them together people go through things in relationships and they have to after the mistakes be able to work it out
His dad had cancer
I saw this coming. Being ill was the ONLY way Trevor would pull away from Lily like this. Janay went into detail about Trevor's dad and how he was when he had and died of cancer. Trevor was young and it was traumatic. When he got ill at New Year's Bilal said Trevor went ballistic when Bilal said he was going to take him to the ER; that's how much he hates hospitals. As for all of y'all out there blowing off Trevor's pain, I work with cancer patients and their situation unilaterally sucks. People process the fear of this disease very individually. Some need comfort and some go hide like wounded animals. ANYONE with this condition deserves sympathy and the right to process the illness in their own way. Trevor's past trauma combined with the fact the Lily had been using him like an emotionally dumping ground because of her own issues probably led him to think she would be better off not having to deal with his illness in addition to her own issues. Personally, I hope they reconnect, he gets better and they end up together. I really don't get the readers who don't like his character. He is Lily's Mr. Sunshine and has done his best for her.
Sara
Jeez. Heartless much?
I work in a cancer center and I understand how how hard the disease is for the care taker, so I understand Trevor thinking this is too much for Lily. But doesn't take away the fact that he made the decision for her. Besides, I just me a newly diagnosed guy and my advice to him was "arm yourself with a good support system" you have no idea how much that helps, you need people that love you and support you by your side.
I don't think it's heartless to be realistic, if he can't tell her that he's sick then how are they going to get through life? Shit happens life is not all rainbows and sunshine, you are supposed to lean on your partner when things get rough. Love is not just for the good times it's for the hard times also. How would he feel if Lily were shutting him out cause she got an abnormal Pap smear result? Would we be be ok with that?
Like I said he decided for her and shut her out to "protect her", but that's not how love works. He's scared I'll give you that, but he's had a month he should have some answers and a plan of action now, he should tell Lily what's going on. Wouldn't it be awful if he were to die and she never even knew he got sick? Doesn't he think about how she would feel if that happened?
He's probably looking at her pictures and thinking he made the best choice because she seems happy without him, which is not true at all.
I'm so glad Forrest is there to give her advice, she should listen to it and not rush into anything with anyone.
Luita
People keep saying "that's not how love works", but how can you say that just because you want to save someone from pain you don't love them. Not everyone deals with things the same way. Yes it helps to have a good support team when you have cancer, but if you truley beleive you are not going to make it like Trevor does, I could see how you wouldn't want to subject the person you love more than anything to that kind of pain? All relationships are different because all people are different. People need to process things and some people, no matter how much they love someone else, need to do that alone. Does it suck for Lily, more than words can express. But to say Trevor doesn't love her is completely unfair. My own mother didn't tell us she was sick until she went into seizures while we were out on Thanksgiving, does that mean she didn't love us? No, it means she did what she thought was best, even if it sin't what we would have wanted.
Jesus take the wheel!
Totally agree people need to stop saying how love works, everyone is different
Agree with Sara completely. Plus lily was all about marriage and kids lately, not that that was bad. Even on the boat it seemed like he was going to say something and she quieted him and mentioned marriage.
Ditto. You can make recommendations to people in this position all you want, but in the end they will make their own decisions. This can be exasperating as all hell (to put it mildly). All you can ultimately do, though is to listen to them, be available if and in the manner they need it and let them take as much control in a situation where they, in fact, have very little control at all and often no idea what the future will bring. Lily had not pursued Trevor beyond him saying he wanted to split, never really exploring why. Cam asked if she questioned him, but she didn't. I know he cut her off, but she could have called Bilal or Cam himself and investigated further. Frankly, I would have dug more and not just let things lie if I were in her shoes. I think Lily retreated due to her own insecurities, which she has been struggling to overcome,but she needs to look beyond herself.
Really? So now you are saying Lily didn't try hard enough? She called him and sent him a million texts. He finally changed his number. He went back to his mom, a woman that is racist and hates Lily. I get it if you don't want Trevor to be the bad guy in the story, but don't blame Lily for how she reacted to what he did.
Your point is well made, but that is not what I meant. she did try very hard to reach out to Trevor, but when he didn't respond, she might have tried talking to someone else who had spoken to him--Bilal, Cam, even his uncle Jimmy. the fact that he abruptly went back to his racist mother who he had essentially disowned, and how he cut things off was a red flag that something was very, very wrong. Lily is still coping with her insecurity and because of that didn't trust even Trevor to really love her, so she assumed he was just being a flake and blowing her off. If it was me in that situation, I would have looked further than just trying to contact my ex partner to try and find out what was wrong. Cam found out about Trevor being on medical leave pretty much right away when he heard about the breakup. One call to him early on and a lot of the pain Lily went through, although it wouldn't have gone away, might have been directed differently. I am not agreeing with how Trevor handled things, but Lily's trust issues made her situation worse.
Can I please just request that Trevor not die? Perhaps I'm jumping the gun but I had to say it.
Lily was all over the place in this post. Rocky is grown. She can eat and drink what the hell she wants. AND she can handle Brandon without Lily acting like a total pain in the ass. Then throwing herself at Richard. He probably had at least 12 WTH moments during the "interview". Now Trevor might be sick. Good Lord. mum
Pretty please... Will you post!!!
As soon as the story gets really good the post become irregular
Kind of thought the same thing TBH, lol.
Cut Janay some slack she's been very consistent thus far. An update would be nice.
ME TO. So much for every MWF posts
Janay already mentioned that she was scaling back to twice a week. No need to wig out! She's a busy lady AND she was having wifi issues.
I don't mind the less often. Her posts are so long, I dont mind :) They're like a full chapter to a book rather than just a quick peek.
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