Monday, September 14, 2015

This I Promise You

"When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along.
And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you" This I Promise You by 'NSYNC


Sunday morning, I left Trevor sleeping in bed and headed to Rocky's house. I let myself in and was greeted by Justine running out of the back bedroom. I petted her as Rocky made her way out her room.

"Hey. How are you doing?" I asked her, looking her over.  I don't know what I was looking for- signs of discomfort or distress, anything, but she seemed perfectly fine. Unperturbed. Normal. I would be anything but if I was in her situation.

"I'm ok." She answered plainly.

"No you're not. You just broke up with your fiance. You can't be fine." I disagreed with her.

"I admitted we were broken up. We've been done for a long time." Rocky corrected me.

"Do you wanna talk? About last night? Breaking up? The ba-"

"No." She cut me off. "I wasted enough time and energy on Brandon. I'm done."

"You do still plan on telling him? About the abortion?"

"Even if he would hear me out, it's not worth the trouble. I don't even know who he is anymore. I want nothing to do with the person I saw last night."

"I know he said hurtful things but it's not about him. I just know, after everything, the only thing I regretted about getting pregnant was not telling Ethan." I confided in her.

"It's not the same Lily. It's two completely different situations."

"It is. You're making this choice without Brandon. He should know." I argued, passionately.

"Well, I disagree." She replied calmy.

"That's not what we agreed to." I reminded her, stubbornly.

"I know. I changed my mind." Rocky dismissed me.

I nodded but didn't say anything else. I gathered Justine's things and started to leave.

"Lily." Rocky stopped me.

I looked at her, sadly.

"I don't want this to affect us trying to be friends again. I don't... I don't want this to come between us." She said, softly.

I pushed my feelings aside and gave her a hug. "Me neither. Just-text me the information for the clinic and I'll be here, ok?"

She hugged me back and agreed. "Ok."

I drove to my apartment, Rocky's situation occupying my mind. I reminded myself repeatedly that it was her life and her decision.

When I was unable to convince myself to stay out of it, I decided to push it out my mind entirely. I took Justine home, fed her and returned back to my room. When I saw Trevor, still sleeping peacefully in bed, I figured out what would help me keep my mind of Rocky. I quickly undressed.

Trevor was in such a deep sleep, I didn't even disturb him as I snuggled against his him, running my hands over his body. He began to stir and moaned, pulling me closer to him. He still was sleep so I went to work to change that.

I placed kisses on his neck as my hands moved to remove his shirt. After I got it off, my lips found the bare skin of his chest. I trailed kisses down until I got the waistband of his boxers. I pulled them down and used my mouth to "wake" him up. I watched him as I took him in my mouth. His eyes fluttered opened and he moaned as I sucked on him.

"Good morning." I greeted him as his eyes focused on me.

"Good morning." He said, huskily.

"Finally awake?" I asked, teasingly trailing my tongue over him before pulling my mouth away.

He nodded, stroking my hair."Come up 'ere." He ordered. I complied, trying to straddle his hips, but he guided me until I was on his chest, straddling his face. He buried his head between my thighs.

I rested my hands back on his chest, bracing myself as I enjoyed his mouth and fingers on me. His tongue started to move faster and I threw my head back, moaning in pleasure as he brought me closer to a climax.

He paused and tilted his mouth away. I moaned frustrated, fighting the urge to ride his face.

"Are you close?" He asked me, teasingly.

"Fuck yes!" I growled at him.

He chuckled at me. I was a second away from clenching my thighs and forcing his mouth back on me when he swatted me on the butt.

"Lay down." He ordered me. As soon as I lie down, he rolled on top of me. He nudged my legs apart and pushed inside of me. He kissed me hungrily on my lips, his hands fondling my breasts as he pumped into me. I cried out in pleasure when he brought me to an orgasm. He kept thrusting until he came inside of me.

He collapsed beside me, breathing heavily when he finished. I turned to him, letting him catch his breath as I smothered kisses on his face. When his breathing evened, we kissed deeply and I rolled on top of him again.

"Lilypad..." he groaned exhausted as my hand moved over his groin.

"T-Rev..." I said, nibbling his ear, sucking his lobe the way I knew he loved.  I stroked myself with his growing erection, using him to play with myself.

"What's gotten into you?" He asked, with a lazy, playful grin, wrapping one arm around me to hold me gently.

"Nothing yet." I replied, smartly before angling him back inside of me.

I slowly rode him to another orgasm. He frantically rubbed my clitoris trying to get me to come after him. When I finally did, shuddering over him, he relaxed on the bed watching me under hooded eyelids.

I sat up, still straddling his body,

"Lay down Lily." He suggested, rubbing my back.

"I'm not tired yet." I said, seductively.

"I am." He chuckled.

"Uh-uh. Uno mas..." My hips starting to work in small circles over his.

"Uno mas?"  He moaned, attempting to still my hips.

"One more."

"We need to go get Justine. Let's go pick her up and get breakfast." Trevor said.

"I already got her. And we have poptarts." I leaned in to give him a kiss. The second I tried to slid my tongue in his mouth, he turned away.

"Real food and water. Break the fast, remember? I need more than poptarts to keep up with you." He tried to roll me over, but I used my weight and gravity to stay put.

"Since when do you have a problem keeping up?" I poked at him, running my hands over his chest.

"When you got so needy." He replied. This time, when he rolled me over, I let him. That "needy" comment killed my arousal.

"You stay here, I'm gonna go pick up breakfast and we can start all over again." He promised.

"Fine." I said, nonchalantly.

He left and I did the next best thing to keep my mind occupied: workout. After 30 minutes of sit ups, push ups and squats with The Weeknd crooning in my ear, I felt somewhat better. I took a shower, moisturized my skin before throwing on a tank top dress and returning to bed. I flipped through Trevor's DVD case as I waited for him.

Trevor returned back with 2 full IHOP bags.

"I got you stuffed French toast." He said, handing me a plastic container.

"Thanks." I said, putting the food down as I put in Anchorman.

We ate and watched the movie together. Will Ferrell had me laughing so hard, I forgot all about Rocky's decision and Trevor calling me needy. At least, I forgot momentarily.

When my favorite part of the movie came on, the news team singing "Afternoon Delight", Trevor held me close and sang it to me.

"Stop being needy." I pushed him away.

He pulled me back, chuckling against my neck. "You were trying to starve and dehydrate me because of your needs. I'm trying to serenade you."

"Get off." I said, partially upset that he was laughing at me, mostly upset at myself for being silly.

"We don't have to leave the bed if you don't want to now. I bought plenty of food and drinks so you can be as needy as you want." He grinned at me.

I smiled back. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I don't. I promise." He said, kissing me on the lips.

We spent the entire Sunday luxuriating in bed with each other. We watched movies, ate and made love the rest of the day. Our normal Sunday routine of chores was ignored. We didn't even answer our phones. It was great.

I paid for it on Monday. When Trevor went to work, I started laundry and cleaned the refrigerator before I went grocery shopping. I had one load of clothes done and put away before I got dressed and headed to work early.

Rocky sent me the information for her appointment. I went to work early to clear the day off with Dr. Fahri. I was hoping it wouldn't be a big deal considering I was out of my probation.

I was so wrong.

"And there's no way around your schedule without a day off?" He said, scrutinizing.

"Unfortunately not." I said, nervously. I debated what else I should say. Rocky wouldn't be able to drive after the procedure, and even if she could, I wouldn't want her to go through it alone. "A family member is having surgery. I have to be there."

He sighed deeply. "Ok. We'll figure it out."

His tone and the look on his face let me know it was everything but ok.
I worked through the rest of the day, both annoyed and concerned by Adil's attitude. I was concerned how requesting a day off on such short notice would negatively affect me. On the same token, I felt annoyed because if it was an emergency, what could I do? Maybe technically, this wasn't an emergency, but Adil didn't know that. I didn't want to work for a company where it was a problem to get time off. I loved my career, but it wasn't my entire life. If things came up, I wanted to be able to take care of them without worries.

I went home still bothered by Adil's attitude. Trevor could tell something was wrong, but I blew it off. I didn't want tell him until after Rocky's procedure. At dinner, I half listened to him as he spoke.

The next day, I went to my boxing class, determined to do blow off some steam. Everything was weighing heavily on my mind and physical relief was the only thing that helped.

On my way out of class, I ran into Dominick. We made small talk and I asked him why he wasn't in class.

"I have a fight coming up this weekend. I've been training with my team. You should come by." Dominick invited me.

I told him to send me the information, but made no promises.

I went home, anticipating a hot shower then a soak in the tub. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts, I didn't notice Trevor coming out the apartment as I tried to go in.

"What the- what are you doing here?" I exclaimed, surprised. Did he tell me he was going to be home early? I wasn't paying much attention the night before...

His eyes immediately got wide. It put me on high alert.

"I stopped by on the way to our appointment." He supplied, quickly.

"Oh shit!" I said, rushing past him towards the shower. We had a house viewing today.

"You forgot?" Trevor called after me.

"No!" I lied, racing to turn on the shower. "I'll be 10 minutes top!" I promised.

I took the quickest shower, towel drying my hair as I pulled on my black scrubs. I left my hair down to air dry as I trailed Trevor to the house.

We were a little late, but blamed it on our GPS. The house was in a gated community in Plano. The first thing we saw was the absolutely charming porch as we entered the house. It was a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom single story home with an open floor plan. All the rooms had hardwood floors, which Trevor wasn't a fan of. The kitchen had a breakfast bar, no nook, but was very spacious. I adored all the windows in every room. It was how I noticed the covered porch wrapped around the entire house. It was beautiful.

I stood in the master bedroom, admiring the view of the porch. I could imagine laying in bed if we positioned it right, watching our kids running around and playing. I smiled, not surprised my mind went there. Between Rocky's situation and my Facebook and Instagram being flooded with parents posting pictures of their kids going back to school, I couldn't help thinking of kids of my own. Hell, I would raise Rocky's if she would let me...

I pushed that thought away with a sigh. I turned around to see Trevor standing in the doorway, watching me. He must have been deep in thought too, because he didn't notice I was watching him now too.

"Penny for your thought." I said, snapping him out of it.

"Nickel for your kiss." He said, bringing his attention back to me.

I walked over to him and kissed him on the lips. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing. You. How beautiful you look." He answered, giving me a hug.

I shook my head smiling, pleased at his words. "Stop. You're supposed to be looking at the house."

"I'm trying. You look too sexy for work. I love your hair like this." He said, playing with my long, wavy, dry hair. "What were you thinking about?"

"The house of course. I love the porch." I lied, turning away from him.

"Just say you don't wanna talk about it. Don't lie." He told me.

I turned back to him. "I don't want to lie. I'll tell you soon."

He just nodded, studying me.

"I really do love the porch." I exclaimed.

"Really? I didn't think you would like it. Not too country for you?"

"No. It's charming." I smiled. "I imagined our kids playing outside."

"Kids huh?" He said, thoughtfully.

"At least two. However many it takes to get one of each." I replied with a smile.

Chad joined us and asked our opinions. Afterwards, we made plans to look at the last house the following week.

At work, as soon as Adil left, Dr. Clayton instructed me to speak to him the next time I needed time off. I agreed, knowing that Adil must have expressed his disapproval of me needing time off. I knew it was selfish thinking, but I was so aggravated- At Adil for being so unreasonable, at Rocky for having the abortion in the first place, for Brandon for being a dickhead!

I went home and skipped dinner in favor of taking Justine for a walk. I told Trevor he didn't have to come, but he came anyway. We jogged up to the park and let Justine play around. I could feel Trevor eying me with concern and it aggravated me even more.

When a little girl came over, with curly sandy locks and beautiful bronze skin, and asked to pet Justine, I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Of course." I said, my voice breaking as I handed over the leash to Trevor.

I walked away, pulling out my phone. I couldn't let Rocky make such a huge decisions because she was mad at Brandon. Yeah, he was an asshole, but two wrongs didn't make a right. Besides, maybe Brandon would change if he knew his kid's life was a stake...

"Lily." Trevor called me, and I jumped like I was caught red handed. My finger hovered over Brandon's name in my phone. I locked my phone and put it in my pocket.

"Are you okay?" Trevor asked me.

"No. You can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. Promise me." I blurted out.

"I promise."

"Rocky's pregnant. She's getting an abortion." I said.

Trevor's face went completely pale. "Brandon?"

"He doesn't know. She's not telling him and I'm taking her to get it." I informed him.

On the way back home, I emotionally vomited all over him. I told him everything I was feeling: How I was totally against not telling Brandon, how Adil was being an ass about me needing a day off, and most importantly, I believed Rocky was making a big mistake.

"She can raise a kid: she financially and emotionally stable. She doesn't want to deal with Brandon, but it's not her baby's fault. Why get an abortion? I feel like she taking the easy way out. It's not right!" I vented.

I then moaned at how preachy and self righteous I sounded. "Oh God, I sound like a Palin." I covered my face in shame.

"You sound like a worried friend, but you gotta let her make her own decisions- even if you think they're mistakes." Trevor said, putting a comforting arm around me.

"I know that. I promised I would support her. I just thinks she's gonna regret it. Especially not telling Brandon."

"It's her decision Lily." Trevor repeated.

"What if it was you? Wouldn't you want to know?" I interrogated him, wanting to at least know he agreed with me.

"No." Trevor said, shocking me.

"No?"

"If I couldn't change her mind and she was ok not telling me, I wouldn't want to know." He explained.

"Wow." I said, thinking it over.

"It's different with us. I mean, you wouldn't- you wouldn't want that?"

"No way. I mean, I would prefer a ring on my finger first, but I would never get an abortion." I said, firmly.

"See? You want to be married first; nothing like a Palin." Trevor teased.

"Shut up Trevor." I smiled, shoving him.

We went back home, showered and ate before going to bed together. I snuggled next to Trevor, at peace finally. Regardless of my feelings about the abortion or Adil's feelings about me requesting the day off, I was going to support Rocky 100%.

Wednesday morning, I woke up to a surprising text from Rocky.

Rocky: I'm in Houston with my mom. I'll call when I get back in town. I cancelled my appointment for now.

Me: Of course. Call me whenever you need me

I took a deep breath, relieved. I knew she said for now, but I was glad she was taking time and not acting off pure emotions. I was keeping my promise to her, but I couldn't help hoping that maybe she'll change her mind.

In the meantime, I fucking deleted Brandon's number after I sent Rocky the text. If I even thought about telling him again, I no longer had his number to do so.

I deleted Jake's and Ethan's number too, just to be extra safe!








***Sorry about the delay. The boys are better, done with antibiotics and school and homework for the missed days. I don't know what was worse: When they were sick and didn't want to do anything or when they were on the mend and had to catch up on missed school days. Anyway, thank you so much for your patience. I'm trying to get back on schedule with 3 post a week. Here's to catching up in real time. I hate being so behind :-/

6 comments:

Nicole M. said...

Curious to see what's up with Rocky. I'm proud of Lily for deleting Brandon's number. That was the smartest thing she's done in a long time.

Glad everyone's feeling better. Life happens and I don't remember anything like this happening in the past year + of you writing Lily's story. I'm sure you'll get caught up in no time. :)

mum said...

Glad she didn't pull a Lily and tell Brandon. I don't know if Rocky could have forgiven her, even though she's coming from a good place. It's hard to be the supportive friend when you totally disagree with what someone is doing. mum

Headkels0h said...

I almost lost my ish when Lily *almost* called Brandon. LOL. Phew..

Curious - and correct me if I am wrong - but, didn't Lily get PTO/Time Off information when she started at her new clinic? The way Dr. Fahri reacted when Lily needed to use a personal day was completely ridiculous and unprofessional. It's not like she has been abusing the system.

Lady said...

Why do I get the feeling that her "hovering" actually dialed Brandon? Just because she locked her phone didn't mean that it didn't dial/hung up. This is not going to end well... Can't wait til the next post!
L

Lady said...

My last post should've said, "Why do I get the feeling that her "hovering" actually dialed Brandon and he heard everything she told Trevor?"

Anonymous said...

I am sitting on pins and needles!!! I cant wait to find out how this story is going to go! Cant wait for the next post :)