Monday, September 21, 2015

Don't Worry Baby

"Well its been building up inside of me
For oh I don't know how long
I don't know why
But I keep thinking
Something's bound to go wrong
But she looks in my eyes
And makes me realize
And she says "Don't worry baby"
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby" Don't Worry Baby by The Beach Boys

I got up to follow Trevor.

Sammy stood up too.

"Give us a minute. We'll be right back." I said, shooting her a look. Corey put his arm around her and she sat back down.

Trevor was ordering a Jack and Coke and I stood beside him. I ordered another beer. When the bartender left to retrieve our drinks, I turned to Trevor.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed. Let's take a time out. When you're ready to talk, let me know." I said, trying to broker peace between us.

Trevor nodded, but didn't say anything. We got our drinks and made our way back to the table. I really did push everything aside for the time being. We were back to joking and talking like normal. After Corey beat us playing darts, we called it a night and went home.

Trevor went to bed as soon as we got home. I took a shower to wash off the bar and smoke before joining him. He was already snoring by the time I made it to bed. I guess Trevor really did forget about everything because he was sleeping peacefully with no concern about talking about what happened at the bar. I didn't know if I should be concerned or not. Were we fighting? Was he upset with me? Did he really believe what he said or was it just the alcohol? Did he really let my dad dedicate when he would propose? Urgh! I rolled over on my side and eventually fell asleep too.

Sunday morning, I woke up before Trevor. I let him sleep and took Justine out for a walk. I was on my way to the park when my phone rang. It was Rocky, telling me she was back in town. I asked if I could come over, and she agreed. When we got there, we went for a walk around her neighborhood.

"I decided not to reschedule." Rocky said so casually, at first I didn't understand the meaning.

"Does that mean your keeping it?" I asked, gripping Justine's leash tighter.

She nodded.

I hid my relief and tried to stay neutral. "What made you change your mind?" I said, watching her.

"An abortion seemed like the easiest way to handle everything. I discovered there was nothing easy about it. I couldn't- there was something stopping me." She paused.

I waited patiently for her to continue.

"My mom told me to forget everything and anyone else and asked me what I wanted. Despite everything, I want my baby. My situation is not what I want it to be, but I still want my child. Everything else I will work out." Rocky explained.

"You're one of the strongest person I know. I know you will and you're gonna be a great mom." I encouraged her.

"The last thing I want to do was raise a kid alone but I'm going to do my best." Rocky said, thoughtfully.

"It's no excuse, but you know Brandon's hurt. He's lashing out. Maybe this will be his wake up call and you two can work on things. For real this time." I offered.

"Ironically, it took me getting pregnant to realize I don't want to be with Brandon. It's not him acting out- it's him in general." Rocky admitted.

I looked at her, shocked. "I thought you loved him."

Rocky shook her head. "I was so determined to make things right that I never stopped to really think why I cheated on him. I loved the way Brandon treated me and what he did for me in the beginning, but the thought of being with him for the rest of my life...I don't want that."

I nodded, really stunned by her admission. She had me convinced she wanted to marry Brandon.

"I'm going to let him decided if he wants to be a part of our child's life." Rocky finished.

We walked back to her house as she told me everything her mom said.

"My mom's planning to be out here to help out. She wants a granddaughter."

"Wait. Doesn't she have one?" I asked.

"My mom doesn't claim her. She's still waiting for a DNA test."

We laughed together.

Rocky needed to go grocery shopping and I joined her. At the store, Trevor called me. I told him I would be home soon. Rocky asked me what was new with me. I didn't even know how to explain what happened the night before. I didn't even know how I felt about it, other than confusion.

I told her about my job, the houses we looked at, going shopping with Forrest, hanging with Sammy and her theory on Jake; basically everything but Trevor and my discussion the night before. I decided not to worry about it until I spoke to Trevor to figure out where his head was at.

We went back to her house and separated the groceries. After I helped put her things away, I grabbed Justine and got ready to go.

"Let me know if you need anything. I wanna be there when you tell Brandon, just in case he tries to act stupid. Again." I informed her.

"I need to schedule a doctor's appointment before I tell him, but I'll let you know." She replied.

"As long as you have appointments in the morning, I can go with you."

She smiled at me. "I appreciate it, but I can handle it myself." She said, confidently rubbing her stomach.

"I didn't ask if you can handle it. I know you can. I'm so excited! I wanna be there every step of the way. Appointments, Lamaze class, everything. If you have carvings, call me. I'll even rub your back... and your feet!" I promised.

"I don't want you anywhere near my feet!" Rocky exclaimed.

I laughed at her.

When I got back to my apartment, I took Justine upstairs before unloading the groceries. The smell of bacon hit me as soon as I walked in. I walked into the kitchen and found Trevor washing the dishes. I looked at the table, and immediately smiled, amazed.

Trevor created some weird food house. The house was constructed with cut up frozen waffles, bacon strips and sausage links. The roof was made of two slices of toast. I couldn't tell what the green stuff was, but it surrounded the house like grass. Fruit loops made pretty flower decorations in the backyard. An arrangement of strawberries on toothpicks created a fence around the house. "Home Sweet Home" was spelled out in whipped cream on the table. I didn't want to know how long it took him to put it together.

"What the hell is this?" I asked Trevor.

"It's a breakfast house." He explained.

"I see that. What's the green stuff?"

"Eggs."

"Ohmygod, you're crazy." I grinned.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't care where we live. As long as it's you and me, it's home sweet home." Trevor smiled.

I gave him a peck on the lips. That one sentence told me I had nothing to worry about. I still needed him to explain himself though. "We're still need to talk about last night, but I love it and I love you. Can you help me bring in the groceries please? Then we can eat."

After we brought everything in and put it away, we sat down at the table with the breakfast house. I took a picture of his creation first before I grabbed a fork. I tried the green eggs first. The only thing abnormal about them was the color.

"It's just food coloring." Trevor assured me.

I nodded and we demolished his house while we talked.

"Are you going to tell me about the deal you made with the devil- I mean, my dad?" I asked, sarcastically.

He rubbed his face. "Jesus, I wish I didn't tell you that."

"Jesus fucking Christ, you did. Get to talking, or do I need to get you drunk first?"

"Your dad was worried about us moving too fast. He told me if we waited a year, I would have his blessing to marry you." Trevor explained, plainly.

"When did the conversation happen?" I said, curiously.

"After we moved in together-The same weekend."

"I wish you would have told me."

"I didn't think it was a bad idea-"

"It's not about being bad or good. It's one thing for him to give advice; it's completely different to make deals behind my back. It's about him trying to control my life. Again. You played right into it." I explained.

He sighed. "I'm not trying to play mind games with him. He'll beat me everyday of the week. I agreed with him about waiting for his blessing and because I didn't think you would wanna get engaged any sooner than that."

I dipped a strawberry in the whipped cream before I made my own confession. "I would have said yes if your fake engagement wasn't fake."

"I saw that. I regretted the deal I made with your dad ever since. I figured I had to wait to propose, I didn't want to wait to buy a house together too." He gave me a little sad smile. "The plan was we buy a house this year, get engaged on New Year's, get married sometime next year and start having kids immediately afterwards."

I quickly swallowed the fruit. "That doesn't have to change. Now that I know how you feel about the homeowner's association, I won't rule out a house because of it. You were way out of line about the money thing. I would rather you not spend all your savings on a house, but I wasn't thinking about it at all. I like the idea of renovations because we can make the house special and unique to us."

"Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way." Trevor apologized. "I've been thinking, maybe we should keep looking. Like you said, there's no rush right?"

"Right. There's gotta be a house we both will love." I agreed. I was confident we could find a place this year. Nothing about his plan would have to change. We sat in silence for a little bit as I chewed on a piece of bacon.

"The only thing your food house is missing is a pool." I joked.

"Speaking of a pool, we haven't even went swimming here this summer. Let's go." Trevor said, standing up.

"You're not supposed to swim after eating."

"That's an old wives' tale- you're not going to cramp up."

"It has nothing to do with cramping- I don't want to put on a bathing suit after eating that breakfast house." I groaned, dramatically.

Trevor gave me a warm, charming smile and I knew I was going along with whatever he said, even though all I wanted to do was laundry, watch preseason football and eat snacks. "C'mon, it closes after Labor Day."

"Fine." I relented.

After changing into swim clothes, we walked over to the pool, splashed around and swam for a couple of hours. When we came back, I saw that I had a text from Forrest. That made we remember the comments Trevor said the night before.

"Honestly, are you ok with me and Forrest being friends?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I am. You know I trust you."

"You said that, but it's the second time you made comments about us- er, it. Our frienship."

"It's just hard giving up the role of your best friend-"

"You're not. You are still my best friend." I interrupted him.

"I don't think that's possible. There's things we can't tell each other because we are together." He disagreed

"I don't believe that at all. I don't tell Forrest things that I haven't told you. He just understands how I think because we are similar." I tried to explained. "Does that make sense? Forrest said before I remind him of a younger version of himself. He points out things I hadn't thought about, but that's all"

"It's not even about Forrest. You're my girlfriend- I think about your feelings more than I did when we were friends only. It's better to keep certain things to myself. I think that's just how it works now."

"You can talk to me about everything. I think you have a tendency to try to baby and protect me. I've proven I can handle myself."

He studied me for a long, agonizing moment, before he smiled. "Agree to disagree."

"No way. What aren't you telling me? Small things, like that dress really does make me look fat? Or big things, like you're getting bored with me?" I asked him, placing my hands on my hips.

Trevor laughed at me. "You are not fat or boring. You have nothing to worry about Lilypad." He said kissing me on the lips. I pouted and didn't return it at first.

After several kisses, I wrapped my arms around him and took his advice: No worrying. As I kissed him back, I knew without a doubt everything would be alright.

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