Could You Be Loved

"Don't let them fool ya,
Or even try to school ya! Oh, no!
We've got a mind of our own,
So go to hell if what you're thinking is not right!
Love would never leave us alone,
I am the darkness there must come out the light.
Could you be love and be loved?(x2)
The road of life is rocky and you may stumble too
So while you point your fingers someone else is judging you
Love your brotherman!
Could you be - could you be - could you be love?(x2)
Could you be - could you be love?" Could You Be Loved? By Bob Marley 

The phone rang and rang and rang Tuesday morning as I tried to call Brandon.

When he didn't answer, I called again.

“Urghh…” He finally answered the phone.

“Everyone on her friends list? Brandon? What the fuck?” I exploded at him

“Lily?”

“Yes!!!”

“What are you talking about? And why are you calling so early? And why are you yell-"

“Because you invited everyone on Rocky’s friend list to her birthday party. Why would you do that?” I interrogated him.

“How else was I gonna fill up the tables I reserved?” Brandon asked, jokingly.

I failed to see the humor in the situation. “Brandon, she is gonna hate that! Why didn't you ask me? I would have helped you. It's not too late-“

“Lily-” He tried to cut me off

“Not if you delete it! Like right now!” I continued, talking over him

“No. Rocky's fine with it.”

I was speechless. “Huh?”

“I know better than to plan anything without her approval.” Brandon chuckled at me.

“Oh. Ok.” I said, dumbly. What the fuck? Why would she be ok with that? She was still friends with Bilal.

"Hey Lily?” Brandon said.

“Yes?”

“Good morning.”

“Good morning Brandon.” I said, embarrassed.

I hung up and laid back on the bed, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Who are you yelling at?” Trevor asked, coming back in the room. I rolled over to watch him. He was already dressed in khaki slacks and was putting on a yellow polo. He looked adorably bright and cheerful on the same morning I was bitching at Brandon.

“Brandon.” I confessed.

“Why?’

“Because he invited everyone on Rocky's friend list to her party. I didn't think Rocky would ok that, but she did.”

“Ok…”

“Bilal is still on her friend list.”

“He wouldn't come.” Trevor reassured me.

“But still, that’s so insensitive of her.”

“She’s not thinking about his feeling. She is thinking about protecting herself.”

“I get that, but it's cruel.” I complained.

“She cheated. She’s a cruel person.” Trevor said.

“That’s a little extreme.” I said.

I understood where he was coming from, but I wasn't comfortable with him talking about Rocky like that. Regardless, she was his friend too.

“Sorry. She’s a cheater with a heart of gold.” Trevor grinned, coming to the bed and leaning over me. When he leaned over to give me a kiss, I rolled on my other side.

“Aww, really?” Trevor complained.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny. You know if it was anyone else you would be saying the same thing.”

I rolled back over. “But it's not anyone else; It's Rocky, our best friend." I frowned

“I know.” He sighed, laying beside me. I just lay there. “Are you really not going to give me a kiss?”

“No.” I said, defiantly.

“You want me to start getting my kisses somewhere else?” Trevor said.

My eyes widened while he had the audacity to smile at me. I punched him on the chest. “It’s not funny.”

“I know, but have you ever heard that expression you gotta laugh to keep from crying?”

“You better take that back or you will be crying."

“Or you could just kiss me...” Trevor grinned, brushing his lips against mine. I smiled too and allowed him to tease my lips with his before I kissed him deeply.

“MMMM…” Trevor rumbled against my lips when I pulled away. “I don’t need anything else when you kiss me."

"You might need an iron if you keep laying down with your clothes on. You don't wanna go back to work wrinkled. Get up." I informed him.

Trevor groaned and pulled away from me. "You really know how to kick start a person's morning don't you?"

"You want a kick?" I warned, getting ready to strike.

"I'm up! I'm up!" Trevor smiled as he got out of bed.



I spent my day off unpacking and finally going through my clothes. I had to stay busy so I wasn't obsessively checking Facebook to see who replied to the invite. I started to pack up my winter clothes and pulled my summer clothes out of my storage on the patio. I tried on my clothes, making sure everything still fit properly. I was happy to see that most everything fit. I knew I gained weight since moving from California, but I blamed the winter. Now that bikini season was here, I would be motivated!

I actually had a few options to wear to the birthday party, but I knew I would still buy something. Maybe not for the party, but definitely for Easter. I stopped worrying about Rocky's party to worry about myself.

I met Trevor's family before, just not as his girlfriend. I knew his mom already liked me, so that alleviated some of my fears. I also knew I wasn't going to win over his granny, but I still wanted to make a good impression on everyone else. A church appropriate outfit would be the first step!

On Friday after work, I met up with Rocky, Sammy, Peyton and Serena to go shopping. We went to the mall and searched shop to shop looking for outfits and chatting. Serena thanked me for the souvenir, letting me know that she saw Ethan recently.

Everyone but me had no problems selecting their outfits. Rocky found her dress first at one of my favorite stores, Bebe. I was a little surprised when Sammy picked a modest, conservative dress there too. I found a lot of dresses, but they were too sexy or not spring-y enough for Easter service.

Serena found a romper at Guess. Apparently, Brandon and Ethan's parents were on the guest list as well and would be making an appearance at Rocky's birthday. Serena and Ethan weren't official yet, but she still wanted to look presentable. It took her a little longer to pull her outfit together.

"Their parents are so easy going, I wouldn't worry about it. Unlike me, whose boyfriend's grandma is so old fashioned, she probably misses segregation." I lamented as I went through a rack of clothes at Guess.

"What did she say?" Rocky exclaimed, looking at me.

"Umm, when she found out I wasn't one of the many Hernandez kids up the street, she asked me where my people were from. Also, Dominicans are not that different from Mexicans since we all speak Spanish." I told her.

"Racist. You need to tell Trevor you're not going put up with that." Sammy shook her head.

"That doesn't sound racist. Just dumb. Next time she says something like that, correct her." Peyton instructed me.

"Anyone who judges based off skin color or what language you speak is a racist in my book." Sammy argued.

"Look up the definition of racist-" Peyton debated her.

"It doesn't matter." I said, stopping the conversation before it got any more heated.
"I just wanted to vent since I can't with Trevor. I'm not trying to compromise Trevor's relationship with his grandma nor am I trying to educate a woman who has been set in her ways for 50 plus years. I'm just going to ignore it." I finished.

"I think that's the best attitude to have." Rocky quickly agreed. I sent her a grateful look.

 "You should have seen my parents' face when I brought home Blake. They're not racist at all, just surprised I dated outside my race." Serena smiled at me.

I laughed. "I pretty much have no choice but to date outside my race since I don't even know my dad's ethnicity."

"Have you dated a white guy before?" Serena asked.

"Nope. Trevor's my first." I grinned.

"Black?" Serena question.

I forced the smile to stay on my face as Rocky shot me a glance and Sammy and Peyton looked confused.

"Briefly. I don't think it classifies as dating." I said, as close to the truth as possible.

Serena laughed. "I gotcha. Did you find anything you wanna try on?" Serena asked.

"No."

"Ok, I'll go check out."

As soon as Serena left, Sammy turned to me.

"She doesn't know about Ethan and me. I'm not telling her!" I said quietly, looking over at Peyton too. Peyton nodded while Sammy shrugged.

We went to Belk, and that's where I ended up finding 2 perfect dresses. Peyton found a cute skirt that she was going to pair with a top. For her birthday presents, Sammy and I bought Rocky's dress, Peyton bought her shoes, and Serena bought her lunch. I offered to take her to get her nails done Saturday, the day before her party. It was the perfect opportunity to try to see where her head was at.

"So... I thought you wanted something small for your birthday. Why did you let Brandon invite everybody?" I commented to Rocky as we sat at our favorite nail bar.

Rocky was going for her classic manicure while I got something more festive with red, green, gold and black nail art. I knew I would have them for Easter. Maybe Trevor's grandma would think I was Jamaican too!

"It's an open invitation. Anybody who wants to come out is fine with me." Rocky said, nonchalantly.

"I remembered when I tried to throw you a surprise party the first year I lived with you. You went off on me in front of everyone." I reminded her.

"Yes, and you cried. It's not a big deal." Rocky brushed off.

"It is big... a big ass party if everyone shows up." I contradicted.

"Do you really believe everyone is going show up?" Rocky asked. I stopped and studied her. I could have sworn I heard a slight quiver in her voice. When she kept staring at her nails and didn't meet my eyes, I knew I didn't imagine it.

"What if they do?" I questioned her, gently.

She looked up at me.

For a brief second, I thought she was going to open up to me. Maybe not tell me the whole truth, but at least ask me to tell Bilal not to come. But that second passed, in so did the vulnerability in her eyes. They hardened, and she went back to her nails.

"Then we'll celebrate my birthday." She said simply.

I went home that night, so frustrated. I didn't want to believe my best friend was a cruel, heartless bitch, but she was making a pretty strong case for it.

Sunday, Corey and Sammy came over to my place so we could head to the party together. Corey and Trevor hung out downstairs, watching stupid vine videos while Sammy and I finished getting ready.

I wore black leggings under the dress I brought because I really did plan to drink and dance the day away. That was how I decided to handle the situation: Celebrate just like Rocky said.

One of the points in Covey's book of effective people was being proactive, not reactive. It basically meant we control how we react to what happens in our lives. Those choices determine how things affect us. Rocky's choices were her own; I wasn't letting them affect me anymore.  I chose to celebrate my best friend's birthday, so that was what I was going to do.

Sammy and I both went for lighter, natural make-up. I decided to wear my hair down in waves while Sammy straightened her hair. I put on my most comfortable pair of black booties and Sammy put on sexy stilettos and we joined the boys downstairs.

"It's way too early for y'all to look so sexy." Trevor said with an appreciative grin.

"What are you talking about Trevor? My girl looks sexy 24/7." Corey smiled. Sammy rewarded him with a kiss.

"I meant, extra sexy." Trevor corrected himself, leaning close for a kiss. I blocked him with my hand.

"Nope. Try again later with a better line." I smirked at him as Sammy and Corey laughed.

We piled into Sammy's Mazda and Corey drove. By the time we got to the lounge, it was 2 hours into the day party and 30 minutes past the arrival time for the party. Reggae music was already thumping as we made our way to the entrance. We walked to the reserved tables where Rocky and Brandon were greeting guests.

"Hey Rocky! Happy early birthday!" I cried, giving her a tight hug. "You look beautiful. You both do!" I complimented Brandon before hugging him too. He looked so handsome in a beige colored suit. They looked amazing together.

"Thank you." Rocky smiled, happily. Everyone greeted each other and wished Rocky a happy birthday before we made our way to the tables. The main table was already filled with people. Jackie, Peyton, Chris, Malik, Omar, Kelly, Ethan, Jasmine and Jake were included in that group. We greeted everyone again before making our way to the second table. Amber, Will, Rachel, Serena, and Forrest had open seats in their long booth.

"Hey Rachel!" I said, giving her a hug. "I love your dress." I smiled at her. She looked stunning in a white, peplum dress.

"Thank you. You look great too. You all do." Rachel complimented us.

I gave Forrest a hug then made my way to Serena.

"Your hair looks so good with curls." I complimented her.

I followed Trevor in the booth across from them, next to Amber. I told her how beautiful she looked in her green wrap dress.

Sammy pulled out her phone before she sat down next to me. "We better take pictures now before I'm too fucked up to care."

I laughed and we took turns taking pictures with each other before overlooking the drink menu. When the waiter came over, Trevor got a rum runner and Sammy and I got a punch bowl to share.

"Have y'all ordered food yet?" I asked the table.

"Not yet. Are we waiting for everyone?" Amber asked.

I shrugged and looked through the food menu. The drinks came out and Sammy and I eyed our huge fish bowl excitedly. Sammy and I sampled the rum punch. It was dangerously smooth and I knew I needed to order food before I started drinking.

"You think that's a good idea ladies?" Ethan asked us. It hadn't escaped me that he sat at the end of the first table, adjacent to Serena at the end of our booth.

"I think it's a great idea, but are we waiting to order food?" I replied with a smile.

"We have a few more people on the way, but go ahead. It'll be better if we stagger some of the orders." Ethan answered.

"Exactly. Great minds think alike." I nodded.

"You weren't thinking about staggering orders. You were thinking about food." Trevor teased me.

"Think alike, not identically." I added, looking over the food menu.

Trevor decided on island coconut shrimp. I was still deciding between meat patties or jerk wings.

"Just get them both." Trevor laughed at me after he ordered.

"I really want the wings, but not in public." I complained.

"Why?" Forrest asked me.

"'Cause there is no cute way to eat wings." I said simply. The girls nodded in understanding while the guys disagreed.

"I think it's kinda sexy." Forrest smiled.

"Yeah, all the finger licking." Corey added on.

"And the bone sucking..." Trevor commented, winking at me.

When everyone laughed, including the waiter, I flushed. "I do not suck the bone!" I protested.

Trevor tilted his head at me. "Never?" He grinned.

"Not me." I lied.

"Pluckers... Hallelujah sauce?" Trevor continued.

A giggle escaped my lips. "Not even once. I'll take the the meat patties." I said, handing over my menu as laughter erupted again.

"Can you add an order of jerk wings for me?" Trevor asked the waiter. I laughed with everyone this time.

"There will be no sucking of any kind..." I warned him with a smile.

"Cancel that." Trevor smiled back.



After the order was placed, Rocky and Brandon returned to the table with the mystery guests. Well, not a big mystery. I already knew Mr. and Mrs. Carter were going to stop by. I was surprised to see Mama Smith and Ramon trailing them. By the look on Rocky's face, she was too.

I waved to Mr. and Mrs. Carter as I got Sammy and Corey to let me out the booth.

"Mama Smith! What a great surprise." I smiled, giving her a hug.

"Ain't I tho?" Mama Smith chuckled, hugging me back. "Child, why are you wearing leggings in the spring?" She said when she pulled back, overlooking my outfit.

"'Cause I plan on dancing. I don't want anything to show if my dress moves." I explained.

"That's why I like my skirts skin tight." She flaunted her shapely legs in the tight skirt she was wearing. Rocky sent me a desperate look.

"I see. Where do you wanna sit? I have food coming." I asked, leading her to our booth.

"By my daughter of course." Mama Smith pulled away from me.

I shrugged apologetically at Rocky. She nodded and took a deep breath as Brandon made room for two.

"I'm fine Brandon. I'll sit over here." Ramon stopped him, motioning to our booth.

"How are you doing Ramon?" I asked as we walked to the booth.

"Better now that I'm out the car with her." He said truthfully. I nodded understandably.

Everyone ordered food and ate. A few more of Rocky's co-workers joined us. I tried to stay engaged in the conversation going on at our table, but I was too busy watching out for Rocky; She was drinking to cope with her mom.

"Damn open invitation." I muttered to myself.

Ramon smiled. "She wasn't going to come, but Brandon begged her to."

"Why would he do that?" I said, bewildered. He was there at Thanksgiving...

Ramon gave me a knowing look. "You don't have a guess?"

I was stumped...

... until Brandon got up to make a toast.

"Racqelle Smith-" he started, before bending on one knee.

I never had one, but I was pretty sure that this was the closest to an out of body experience I have ever had.  I could see Brandon's mouth moving, I even heard the words, but I couldn't comprehend. I was completely out of it until I felt a sharp grip on my waist. It brought me back to reality.

"Smile Lily." Trevor said softly against my face as he turned to me.

"Huh?" I said, bewildered.

"Your best friend just got engaged. You need to smile." Trevor told me in my ear.