Talk

"Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well, I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me
So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that's never been done
Do something that's never been done
So you don't know where you're going, and you wanna talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk" Talk by Coldplay

When I came back from the movies, Trevor was sitting on the couch playing Minecraft drinking a beer. He looked up at me, typed something into his laptop before he put it away.

I joined him, sitting next to him on the couch. "I'm sorry for the way I acted last night." I said.

Trevor studied me for a moment before he spoke. "That's not what I want to talk to you about." He started.

"Is it about the house? Because I'll look into it." I promised.

"It's not just the house. It's a lot of things with you lately. What's going on?" Trevor asked.

I looked down at my feet. "Nothing." I shrugged.

"I don't believe you." Trevor argued.

"If you don't believe me, what's the point of talking?" I said, getting aggravated.

"Lily, I can barely get in touch with you when you're usually attached to your phone. I don't know what changes more: your attitude or clothes. And then you started drinking. That's why I don't believe you. Don't tell me nothing's going on when your actions say something else." He accused me.

"I'm sorry, ok? I'll answer my phone every time you call, I'll watch my attitude and drinking, alright?" I said, determined to end the conversation.

"No, not alright. I don't want an apology. I want to know what is going on." Trevor demanded.

I stood up and headed for the kitchen.

"Get back in here Lily. I'm not done talking to you." Trevor said, angrily following behind me.

"I'm done talking to you." I said, walking to the refrigerator. I began to clean it out like I did every Sunday. I moved things around, deciding to make enchiladas to distract myself. I wasn't ready to have this conversation right now. I knew myself well enough to know I had too many emotions I had to sort out before I could have a productive conversation.

"We just did this last week over the joke. I could tell something was wrong but I believed you when you said you were ok. You promised you would talk to me. This- us, we're not going to work if you don't tell me the truth." Trevor pleaded with me.

He was right, I did promise to talk to him, but I couldn't do that until I could keep my emotions under control. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"You said you don't want to talk about it! That means there's an it to talk about! I'm done guessing and waiting! Talk Goddammit!!!" He raised his voice at me.

I never seen him so angry at me. I been trying all weekend to avoid a confrontation because I didn't want to rant and rave at him and remind him of his dad. I failed miserably when he exploded at me.

I turned away from the opened refrigerator and glared at him."You wanna talk? Why don't we talk about why your mom doesn't like me?!?" I yelled back.

His face turned ashen and he stared at me, stunned. "Lily-" He struggled.

I crossed my arms, defiantly. "Lily what? Talk Goddammit! Just pretend I'm J-Mike since you have no problem confining in him!" I blasted him. When he remained silent, I slammed the refrigerator shut.

"Exactly!" I said, before stomping out the kitchen.

"You didn't want to know and I didn't want to tell you. I couldn't- how could I tell you that Lily? What was I supposed to do?" He asked, following me.

I stopped in the hallway and whipped around to face him. "You know what you don't do? Don't fucking tell J-Mike! And don't compare your mom to my dad. My dad thinks you're childish. Considering you think proposing is a joke, he's not far off, is he?" I raged.

He didn't answer. Just looked down, miserable and defeated.  He looked exactly how I felt and I didn't want to be the one that caused him that pain. It immediately calmed me down.

"I was going to show him how happy you make me. I thought it was the same for your mom. All we have to do is prove to them how right we are for each other. How can I prove that to your mom when no matter what.. I always have the wrong hair...the wro-ng eyes... the wrong sk-" I couldn't finish without breaking down into tears.

Trevor put his arms around me as I crumbled to the floor. He sat down with me, holding me as I shook with sobs.

"You don't have to prove anything to her. I don't want anything to do with her." Trevor said into my ear as he held me tight.

I shook my head, vigorously. "You can't fight because of me. I won't come between you two-"

"It's not you. It's between me and her." Trevor interrupted me.

"Why didn't you tell me she wouldn't see you?" I cried.

"I haven't tried to see or talk to her. I never thought my mom felt like that or I would have never brought you around her-"

I shrank away, crying harder.

"No. Not like that." Trevor said, pulling me back against him. "I want to protect and take care of you. I won't let anyone hurt you, not even her. If she doesn't accept you she can't accept me." He promised.

"Lily?" He said, as I sat and cried. When I didn't respond to his words, he kissed my hair, my ear, my temple, then my forehead.

"You make me happy." He said, tilting my head back so he stared into my eyes. He began to kiss the tears away as they fell off my face.

"Everything *kiss* about you *kiss* is right. *kiss*"

He followed the last tear to my lips and pressed his lips against mine. I kissed him back hungrily, longing for the love he promised me. He gave it to me, and I quickly removed my clothes before working on his. When we both were undressed, he laid me down and climbed on top of me.

I wrapped my legs and my arms around him, clutching to him desperately. He understood my need because he didn't delay or prolong entering into me. He pushed into me roughly and I cried out in pleasure and pain. I arched my hips into his as he thrust into me deeply. He kept his lips glued to mine, in between kisses whispering what I already felt about him.

"I want you."

"I need you."

"I love you."

We climaxed together and lay there, cuddling on the floor. Neither one of us wanted to speak or move and risk breaking the spell between us, but I had to.

"What exactly did she say?" I asked, softly.

He buried his head in my hair. "Lily, it doesn't matter."

"It does to me. What J-Mike said..." I shuddered thinking about his words. "I just need to know."

He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "She thinks you are a phase. She said we come from two different worlds and we wouldn't work out. Also, that she didn't want mixed grandkids."

I maintained eye contact. "She didn't call them mixed, did she?"

Trevor winced. "No."

I rubbed his chest and took a deep breath. "You said you haven't talk to her. Why did J-Mike say she's refusing to see you?" I asked, changing the subject.

Trevor sighed. "She told me she wasn't going to talk to me until I came to my senses. Nothing's changed so I haven't talked to her. When I didn't come home for Father's day, she told everyone she doesn't want to see me ruin my life. When I went to the county, uncle Jimmy and Lisa talked to me about it. That's how J-Mike knew."

"Do they... do they feel the same way about us?" I asked, not wanting to know the answer, but needing to.

"No!" He answered, adamantly. "Lisa was shocked. My mom had made comments to her about you using me, and Lisa told her she was sure your dad has money." Trevor continued.

"How does she know that?"

"She overheard us when you were giving me a tour of your house last Christmas on Skype."

"What about your granny? Does she agree with your mom?" I questioned.

"I really don't think she does. I didn't ask her, but I know Granny. She doesn't really hold back for anyone. "

We were silent for a moment, just holding each other until Trevor chuckled.

I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

"Justine." He breathed.

I looked up, and sure enough, running her nose against Trevor.

"You think she saw us?" I reached over him to pet her.

Trevor hugged me closer to him. "Probably."


We got up, put our clothes back on and resumed our Sunday routine. I cleaned out the refrigerator while he started washing clothes.

He joined me in the kitchen when I started dinner. I had chicken boiling for the enchiladas and was working on the filling.

Trevor asked me what I meant by not having to be at work Monday, and I informed him of my schedule change.

"Is it permanent?" Trevor asked.

"I don't know. I'll have a set schedule when my probation is up."

He left to put the laundry in the dryer.

"What can I do to help?" He asked.

"Start rolling enchiladas." I told him.

"Is it the kind that Jasmine made with sour cream?" He asked me, making a face.

"No." I lied. I knew he didn't really like the sour cream sauce so I found a recipe that called for sour cream added to cream of chicken soup for the sauce. I turned to the stove to make it, hiding it from him.

"Oh yeah, add Bounce to the grocery list." Trevor told me.

"Urgh, I forgot about that. Groceries. I'm gonna have to do that before I go to work." I complained.

"We can go today after we finish."

"Shopping? On a Sunday evening? Do you just want to see me pissed off today?" I replied.

"No!" Trevor grinned, raising his arms in surrender. I laughed at him and poured the sauce over the enchiladas.

"I saw Rocky today at the movie theaters." I told him.

"How did it go?" Trevor asked, curiously.

"It was ok. Kinda anti-climatic. I didn't feel upset at all. I didn't feel much if anything." I sprinkled cheese on top of the enchiladas.

"Is that good?" Trevor asked.

"I guess so." I shrugged.

"Is it ok to talk to Chad about the house? Or do you wanna talk to Rocky?"

"No. Definitely Chad. I'm curious to what he'll say about us applying for a loan together." I said, putting the finished enchiladas in the oven.

"You asked last night. I told him he was going to have to explain it again when you are sober."

How embarrassing. "Ok. Cool."

"He suggested leasing a house too. I'm going to see about taking a long lunch so we can set up an appointment this week."

"Sounds good babe." I pulled out the enchiladas and made us both a plate.

"You know what's missing from dinner?" When Trevor looked at me, I smiled. "A margarita."

Trevor grinned. "You had enough margaritas." He said, placing water glasses on the table.

"No, I had enough tequila. I'm staying away from shots."I said delivering the plates on the table. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into his lap. He gave me a long, lingering kiss.

"Sometimes, I wish my mom could see us then maybe she would understand." He sighed when he pulled away. I gave him another kiss and hugged him.

"She'll come around. She'll have to like your dad did." He said, hopefully. "Not that I'm comparing them-" He added quickly,

"How do you know he did?" I said, changing the subject and standing up.

"Er,.. I don't. Forget I said that." He grinned as I sat in the chair across from him

I forced a smile. I knew there was something he wasn't telling me, but I let it slide. I was all talked out for the day. I didn't know what to think about him holding out hope that his mom would come around. I didn't think that his mom would ever accept me but I couldn't tell him that. That wasn't the part that bothered me anymore. I could deal with her hating me. Regardless of how she felt about me, how could she treat Trevor like this? How did I deal with being the reason why they were estranged?

"This are so much better than the sour cream ones." Trevor said, cutting off my thoughts, as he dug into his enchiladas.

"You like it?" I asked, sipping on my water.

"I love it. I'm gonna miss coming home to dinner."

I snorted. "I'm still going to cook before I go to work. I don't trust your cooking. And fyi, that sauce has sour cream in it."

He put his fork down for a moment, before he shook his head.

"Who doesn't like sour cream? It doesn't really have a flavor. It tastes like whatever you put it with." I told him with a smile.

"It's sour cream. It taste like sour milk. More importantly, when did you become such a good liar Lily?" He said but continued eating.

I didn't confirm or deny that comment as we continued to eat.

After cleaning and folding the laundry, we went to bed. Trevor fell asleep while I thought everything over. I was glad we finally talked it though. Nothing was really solved, just out in the open. At least I got my emotions under control.

The shame, guilt and anguish faded away and rage built inside of me. I hated Trevor's mom for making him have to pick between us. I knew how it felt to not have a relationship with my mom and I didn't want Trevor to go through that. I hated myself for the errant thought of letting him go so he didn't have to chose...

I cuddled closer to Trevor and forced myself to go to sleep.

Why Can't We Be Friends (Outro)

"Why can't we be friends
Why can't we be friends
Why can't we be friends
Why can't we be friends
The color of your skin don't matter to me
As long as we can live in harmony
Why can't we be friends
Why can't we be friends
Why can't we be friends
Why can't we be friends" Why Can't We Be Friends by War

No matter how hard I tried not to think about it, J-Mike's comments stayed in my mind all day at work Friday. I focused on my job to keep my emotions in check, but I had a sickening feeling that would not go away. I spent my lunch, picking at a sandwich and going through my phone.

Trevor texted and let me know J-Mike had made it to the airport and was on his way back to D.C. Amber also posted Showtimes to the Studio Movie Grill for Magic Mike XXL on Facebook. She tagged me, Sammy, Jordan, Gigi, Dino, Serena, and Rocky. She asked us to let her know who was coming because there was a deal on Groupon and she wanted to secure the tickets. Jordan sent me a text about the movies, asking me if I wanted to get together to watch the original Magic Mike. I ignored them for the time being and finished my lunch

At the end of the day, Adil pulled me aside right before I was getting ready to leave.

"I wanted to let you know why I have you closing with Dr. Clayton." Adil started.

I was still in my probationary period, so my schedule could change weekly. Even though my schedule stayed the same, I always checked. I was so distracted, I didn't even think about it. I was glad Adil brought it to my attention.

"Dr. Clayton is my 2nd in command. He's in charge when I'm not here. That being said, don't hesitate to come talk to me if he's doing anything out of policy." he instructed.

I thought to myself what an odd request that was. I wanted to question him about it, by then I remembered he was not my friend. He wasn't even my colleague: he was my boss.

I nodded. "Of course, Dr. Fahri."

"Thank you Dr. Harris. I'll see you Monday." He said, giving me a smile. I forced a smile and checked my schedule before I left.



After work, I took Justine out for a walk. Normally, I would wait til the sun started to set so we weren't walking in the heat of the day, but I didn't want to be trapped in the apartment with my thoughts.

We got in my car and I googled a dog park in Plano. I ran around and played with Justine. Even though I gave her all my attention, my mind strayed to Trevor. The sickening feeling remained, but now I was beginning to feel anger too.

I was mad that he didn't tell me the truth about his mom. I told him I didn't want to know and at the time, I believed I didn't. Trevor led me to believe her feelings were similar to my dad's. His mom's feelings about us were nothing like my dad's and it really pissed me off he could put them in the same category.

Then I felt overwhelming guilt. I saw how upset he was when we came back from Wichita Falls from mother's day. He was ready to marry me in spite of his mom. He was now sacrificing his relationship with his mom because of me. After his dad passed away, they were all each other had. I felt not only guilty about coming between them, but guilty for being angry at Trevor for not telling me.

My phone rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. Jordan was calling. I couldn't complain about her not calling and then blow her off, so I answered.

"I just got off work and I was seeing if you wanted to have a Channing Tatum movie tonight." She offered.

Before I could say anything, she continued. "Tori's going out so I have the place to myself. I have Magic Mike, The Vow, Step Up, stuff for nachos and popcorn at home. I was going to go pick up drinks, more food and another movie.  What's your favorite snack and Channing Tatum movie?" She said, quickly. When she finally took a breath, I could get a word in.

"21 Jump Street and 22 Jump Street." I replied.

I knew she was just trying to gloss over the whole picture incident, and I was letting her get away with it. For now. Besides, I wasn't able to deal with Trevor right now with my conflicting emotions, so I needed some space. Hanging with Jordan provided that.

"I forgot about those. I'll get them." She said brightly.

"No, I got it and I'll pick up drinks and snacks. Send me Tori's address and I'll be there soon."

"Ok!"

I went home and jumped in the shower. Afterwards, I pulled on yoga pants and a t-shirt. I fed Justine before I texted Trevor my plans.

Me: Hanging out with Jordan tonight. I already took Justine out and fed her.

Trevor texted back as I slipped on my flip flops.

Trevor: Ok. Chris and Peyton invited us out. Bring Jordan.

Me: Jordan planned a Channing Tatum night at her place but y'all have fun

Trevor: Ok. I'll let you know where we are at if you change your mind.

Me: K. C u later

 After a quick stop at the grocery store, I navigated to Tori's apartment.

"Hey Girlie!" Jordan squealed letting me in.

"Hey Jordan." I said.

"What all did you bring?" Jordan laughed, taking a few bags from me.

"My favorite snacks." I replied. We set up the nachos, popcorn, Raisnets, cheese/pepperoni/cracker tray, oreos, soda and Palm Breeze wine spritzers in front of the tv in the living room. I knew I was emotionally eating. I planned to give myself just the weekend of binging.

"Ok, what movie do you want to start with?" Jordan asked.

"The movie that made me fall in love with him: Step Up!"

We snacked and watched the first movie. Jordan was a fan of his romantic movies like "The Vow" which we watched next, I enjoyed his comedies like "21 Jump Street". I laughed so hard at the movies I teared up, causing Jordan to make fun of me.

"I can't help it. I love Channing Tatum. I swear, he is my dream guy." I said, wiping my eyes as I checked my phone. It rang during the movie. When I saw it was Trevor, I ignored It. He didn't text or leave a message, so I assumed it wasn't important.

"Really?" Jordan said, as she put in the last movie Magic Mike.

"Yeah. He's gorgeous but he seems so down to earth and he doesn't take himself too seriously. If I was to create my perfect man, he would be it." I explained.

"Funny. Sounds like you just described Trevor." Jordan smiled at me.

I frowned as I thought about my dream of being with him was his mother's worst nightmare. So much so, she cut him off.

"No, Trevor has his faults." I muttered.

"Like?" Jordan asked, joining me on the couch.

"Like the whole fake proposal thing." I said, getting my mind of Trevor's mom and bringing up the picture in a round about way

" Derek wasn't thinking about getting engaged 6 months into our relationship- pretend or real. Look how much thought Trevor put into a fake proposal. I can't imagine what he's real proposal will be like." Jordan pointed out.

"6 months or not, it was embarrassing. How would you feel if someone tricked you like that?" I asked her.

She nodded. "I understand. I thought you thought it was funny. "

"I didn't, that's why I didn't want it posted."

"My bad."

"It's cool.

We were silent as we watched the movie. After the Pony dance scene, I turned to Jordan. "Unfortunately, Trevor not that built nor can he dance like that. Channing's got him beat."

Jordan laughed. "Greedy! You can't have it all!"

"If I was creating my perfect guy I would!" I smiled. "What about you?" I asked her.

Jordan thought about it. She opened her mouth, than stopped before starting again. "I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out. I'll start with Channing's abs though."

"Back off bitch. He's mine!" I threatened her.

It was 1am in the morning when the movie  ended. Granted, we did replay a lot of the dance scenes more than once. I decided to spend the night with Jordan so I texted Trevor to let him know. I figured he was out or sleep, so I was surprised when I got a text from him after Jordan and I got set up to sleep in the 2nd bedroom.

Trevor: Need me to come pick you up?

Me: No, I'm ok. Just spending time with Jordan. Goodnight.

He texted me a cute picture of him and Justine in bed. He captioned it:
Goodnight. We miss you. Love you.

Jordan came in from the bathroom so I laid down in bed with my phone. I stared at the picture as I struggled to fall asleep.

The next morning, I woke up around 10am. I had no idea what time I dozed off the night before, but sleep didn't come easy. I dragged myself out of bed, wishing I could take a hot shower. I felt gross having to put back on my old clothes.

"Just get something out of my closet." Jordan suggested, eating on her bed.

"I can't fit your clothes."

"We're the same size." She exclaimed.

I went to her closet and pulled out a dress. I looked at the tag. "This is a 4. I wear a 6."

"The only thing bigger on you is your boobs and butt."

"Exactly. I don't want either one hanging out."

She pulled out a denim skirt and a halter. "Try this one. If it doesn't work, I have a t-shirt from Derek."

After a shower, I tried it on. My butt was fine, but my cleavage was way more than what I normally showed.

"Yeah, I'll take that shirt." I said, joining Jordan in the bedroom.

"Ha. I got rid of all his shit. You look great anyway." Jordan said, handing me a nutrigrain bar.

We sat around awhile before deciding to go shopping. I was heading to my apartment first and I put my phone on my car charger. It died sometime in the middle of the night. I waited til I got to a red light to turn it on. I had missed calls but before I could get to them, my phone rang. It was Forrest.

"Can I borrow you for 30 minutes?" He asked.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I'm thinking about putting an offer on a house. I need a second opinion."

"Text me the address and I'll be there." I told him.

I explained what was going on and offered to drop Jordan back home.

"No way. Shopping for a house is more fun than shopping for clothes. I wanna come." Jordan protested.

We made our way over to the house in Lewisville. Forrest and his realtor Chad met as at the front door.

"Ladies, why don't we take a walk through?" Chad offered with a smile after introductions were made. Jordan followed right away and I waited for Forrest.

The house was nice 2 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths. Chad gave his spiel, telling us the age of the house, recent work done, how long it's been on the market, how close to the lake. Jordan looked over everything critically, opening cabinets, pointing out water damage and ugly wallpaper. I keep my opinions to myself and studied Forrest. He seemed content, but not really excited about anything. He was more subdued. I didn't know what to make of him.

"Tell me what you're thinking?" Chad asked us at the end of the tour.

"I don't know. Is this what you want Forrest?" I asked.

He gave me a little shrug. "The only requirements I had was in my price range and close to my job."

"Let me rephrase that. Can you see this being your home?" I asked.

He looked pensive again, before Jordan answered. "It can be, with some work." She went on again, giving Forrest recommendations and advice and I rolled my eyes.

"His home Jordan, not yours." I told her. Jordan shut up and Forrest rubbed his beard.

"I agree with Jordan. It can be with some work. I want to make an offer." Forrest finally said.

Jordan and I went outside to wait as Chad went over the next steps in the process with Forrest. When they finished, Jordan exclaimed that we should go celebrate. Forrest had his game to go to but said afterwards we could go out. We made plans to meet at Texas Land and Cattle before we left. Jordan and I decided to to head to the mall in Lewisville rather than drive all the way out to Fort Worth.

After walking around and picking up some great end of summer clearance deals, we went to my apartment to get ready for dinner. I already texted Trevor the plan since I hadn't talk to him all morning. He was home when I got there. I let Jordan take the bathroom while I headed to the bedroom to get dressed.

"Did you have fun last night?" Trevor asked me.

"I did." I responded shortly as I changed into a new dress that I just bought.

"What did y'all do?" He questioned, his eyebrows raised when he saw I needed a pair of panties because I wasn't wearing any.

"I told you we watched movies." I said, moving away from him so I could stand in front of the mirror. I played with my hair, contemplating what I was going to do with it.

"New dress?"

"Nothing gets by you." I said teasing my hair up into a ponytail. When I sounded bitchy to my own ears, I continued pleasantly. "It was on sale for $10."

"Probably 'cause the holes in the side of it. I can see your boobs." Trevor said.

"You have something against side boob?"

"I have something against you showing your side boobs."

"I'll keep my arms down the entire night." I said, putting on silver hoops and cute silver sandals.

 When Jordan finished, I joined her in the bathroom to do my make-up.

"Chad was kinda cute huh?" She asked me.

I ignored her and the hoe tour of 2015 she was embarking on.

We left and Trevor offered to be designated driver. That ended up being perfect considering we waited at the bar for a table large enough for us all. Jordan and I drank strong margaritas with jalapenos in them. Jordan spotted Chad and waved him over.

"Good to see you two again." He said, politely before I introduced him to Trevor.

"How do y'all know each other?" Trevor asked me.

"He's Forrest realtor. He got Forrest a great house two exits from Lake Lewisville." Jordan said, flirtatious as I downed the rest of my margarita. I wanted to tell her to drink hers and stop acting so thirsty.

"He made me work for my sale. It's always harder to find a house for someone who doesn't know what they want." Chad said.

"We won't have that problem. Lily already has a list." Trevor teased me.

"Y'all are in the market?" Chad asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Yes." Trevor responded at the same time I said, "No."

Trevor looked at me, confused. "What do you mean no? My lease is up at the end of August."

"You're going to take the interview in Austin, remember?" I reminded him of the job opportunity he talk to J-Mike about but not me.

Common theme with him recently.

"That's not guaranteed. We should be looking at houses."

"Why? So I can fall in love with a house and we end up moving to Austin?" I scoffed, and ordered another margarita, turning from him.

"It's a process. Let me get you my number and we can at least get the process started whether you decide to move or not." Chad said, pulling out his phone.

Thankfully, Forrest and some of his teammates showed up and joined us at the bar. After everyone was introduced, most of the guys ordered drinks while Forrest stuck with ice tea.

"How'd y'all do? Why aren't you drinking?" I asked.

"We lost and I'm trying to cut back. I'll have a drink at dinner." He responded.

"Aw, what happened? Did you botch a hike and lose the game for us?" I taunted him.

"Never. Blake blew it on a field goal." Forrest smiled at Blake.

"Don't put that on me. It was 50 yards outs. Let's talk about the field goals I made." Blake declared.

"Those don't matter. You have one job to do Blake!" I shook my head.

"That's what I said." Forrest laughed.

Our table was ready and we sat down and ordered food. Trevor sat by me and unfortunately, Chad sat next to him, still trying to make a sale to us.

"What's on this list?" He asked us with a smile.

I took a huge gulp of my third margarita as Trevor answered. "She wants a single story, open floor plan, a backyard for our dog and a breakfast nook." Trevor said, grinning at me.

"That's not too bad." Chad replied.

"That's not all." Trevor went on listing things that I preferred. Like how I loved that Rocky had two living areas, the media room at his uncle's house and my brother's bay windows. A bunch of little things I've mentioned in the past, a lot of things I said before we were together considering a house.

"Sounds like y'all are gonna have to build a house." Blake commented.

"Can't do that in a month." Jordan smiled.

"I'm up for the challenge. Let me see what's available." Chad said.

"You two want to buy a house? In a month?" Forrest asked me.

"Apparently." I said, sucking down the rest of my drink.

Trevor looked between Forrest and me before focusing on me. "Maybe you should slow down." Trevor warned me.

"I'm good." I waved him off.

And I was. It was the first time all weekend Trevor's mom's comments weren't on my mind. I drank, ate and chatted merrily while hanging out with Forrest's friends.

I nodded off on the drive home and didn't fully awake until Trevor pulled me out of the backseat. He held me as best as he could as I stumbled up the stairs. I was able to kick off my sandals without Trevor's help and collapsed on the bed. I didn't wake up until Trevor was shaking me gently the next morning. Even then, I groaned out in pain. My drowsiness overpowered the pain and I fell back asleep.

I don't know how much time had passed before he was waking me up again.

"Lilypad, you can't sleep all day. You won't be able to sleep tonight and wake up Monday morning."

"I don't gotta wake up Monday morning. Duh." I snapped pulling the covers over my head.

"What do you mean-"

"Stop fucking talking. Your voice is giving me a headache!" I complained, putting the covers over my head.

"Those shots are giving you a headache." He muttered under his breath.

"Shut up!" I yelled. I didn't remember taking shots.

"Take some medicine and I'll leave."

I uncovered myself and took the pills and glass of water from him. I swallowed the pills and chugged the water before I cut my eyes at him, expectantly. He looked sad, but got up from the bed and left. This time, when I laid back down, I couldn't go back to sleep. I felt too bad about how I acted. I looked at my phone and it was already noon. I was meeting the girls for the movie at 3pm. I went ahead and took a quick shower before changing into jeans and a t-shirt.

I went to the living room to find the sandals I wore the night before.

"Where are you going?" Trevor asked me.

"Movies with the girls. I told you that."

"We need to talk when you get back."

Urgh. "Goody." I said, sarcastically before I left.

He said nothing and watched me leave.

I headed to the movie theater, even though I was a couple hours early. I called Serena on the way.

"Do you want to meet at the movie theater early?" I asked.

"Sure. I'll see you there in 30 minutes."

I got to the movie theatre and sat at the bar so I could order food. The bartender informed me of their "Sunday Funday" special that included all you can eat one topping pizza. I immediately ordered a sausage pizza and water. I was working on my pizza when Serena arrived.

"Hey, I would offer you some but it's all you can eat and I'm sure it's frowned upon." I said as she sat down.

"That's ok, I think I'll wait for the movie. Why did you want to meet early?" Serena asked.

"You tell me. Amber said we needed to clear the air." I said.

"Amber asked me a question and I gave her an answer. In the future, if I need to speak to you, I will." Serena replied.

"The last time we spoke at EJ's birthday party I felt like you had a problem with me. I assumed it was the whole Forrest thing."

"No. I found out everything about you and Ethan and it was still on my mind." Serena said.

"Ok... I don't really get what you're so upset over." I said.

"Like I said before, I don't like that feeling  everyone knows something I don't."

"You understand that's completely up to Ethan. I have no control over that."

"I do but it doesn't change how I feel about it."

"The fact that he told you is huge. He didn't find out about it until last year. It was never my intention to tell him."

"It wasn't his intentions to tell me. I found the card." Serena admitted.

"Oh..." I said, understandingly. "I don't know what else to say. If it makes you feel better, that's the end of the saga of Ethan and me. We're just friends. We barely even see each other now."

"Ok." Serena nodded.

"Ok." I repeated. "Are we good?"

"Yes. How are you? It's been awhile." She asked.

"Hungover. Apparently I took shots last night that I don't remember. Other than that, I'm great." I said.

"Yeah I saw that on Facebook. You and Blake." Serena said.

"Ew, I should have known he had something to do with it. I haven't been on Facebook. Anything embarrassing?"

"No, looks like y'all had a good time."

I nodded.

"How's Forrest doing?" Serena asked.

I sat back, surprised. "On the surface, he's fine. Just looked at a house the other day. I think he's okay or at least getting there."

Serena nodded. "Part of me wants to reach out, but I don't know if it'll do more harm than good. Rachel is my best friend. I don't know how to be a friend to him now."

"He doesn't talk about her or what happened so I really don't know. I'll ask though."

"Thanks."

We sat and caught up, chatting before the girls arrived. Sammy showed up first and gave me a cautious glance. I just smiled, showing her that everything was fine. Amber came next. Jordan and Dino came right on time. Rocky and Peyton showed up together a little after them. It was the first time that I've seen Rocky since our falling out. She looked tired or maybe not interested in being there, but I didn't dwell on it. I waved to acknowledge her presence before I turned back to Dino and Jordan.

"How bad was I last night?" I asked Jordan.

"You basically did the opposite of everything Trevor asked you to do. In fact, that's how we got you home: He got frustrated and was like "fine, stay at the bar and take shots. Find your own way home." Then you said, "No. You take me home." Trevor deserves a medal after dealing with you." Jordan explained.

"Or an apology." Dino chimed in.

Urgh, I know.

I pushed the thoughts of my impending apology away and enjoyed the movie. Nothing like all you can eat pizza, a signature cocktail inspired by the movie called the "THE GRIND" and strippers to bring us all together. After the movie, we all giggled and Sammy, Rocky, Jordan and I recalled the time we went to a strip club together.

"We went with my ex's sisters and made her get tea bagged by a guy that looked just like my ex and her brother." I laughed.

"Y'all are awful." Peyton exclaimed.

"Did Jasmine think he looked like him?" Serena asked.

"Yes, She was disgusted. I dated him too. They could have been brothers!" Sammy laughed.

"Y'all dated the same guy?" Dino asked, shocked.

"Kinda." I shrugged.

"She dated him after I fucked him." Sammy explained.

Dino made a disgusted face.

I smiled. "What's a guy between friends right?"

"That's right. Hoes over bros." Sammy agreed. We laughed at each other.

They made plans to go shopping or get their nails done but I begged off, knowing I needed to apologize to Trevor.

As friends, we could never stay mad at each other long. We just apologized and moved on. I was expecting the same. It didn't happen that way.

Why Can't We Be Friends (Intro)

"Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
I seen you 'round for a long, long time, yeah
I remembered you when you drink my wine
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?" Why Can't We Be Friends by War

I met Sammy and Amber for an earlier dinner/lunch Monday. I never returned Amber call and she called me out on it Sunday night. I promised to make it up to her by treating her to dinner before she had to pick up her kids from summer camp and get ready for work. There was a short window of time between when I got off and when the kids had to be picked up.

We chose a Chiptole to met up at. By the time I got there, Amber and Sammy were already seated, their bowl and burrito in front of them, respectively. I frowned at them when I noticed a bowl and burrito at the seat for me.

"Guys, I told you I was treating!" I said, after I hugged them both and sat down.

"Hold on to your money. You can treat the next time we go out." Sammy smiled at me.

"If we go out. I barely see y'all anymore." I said, before unwrapping my burrito, anxiously like a kid with a present. I put the bowl aside to take home to Trevor.

"This weekend?" Amber asked.

I looked over at Sammy. "You working?

"I don't work Sundays anymore." Sammy told us. "After all the new business I brought in, I negotiated a set off day." Sammy boasted.

I raised my soda to her. "Cheers to that."

I turned to Amber and asked what she needed to talk about, but she asked about what she thought was the proposal picture. I quickly explained to her what happened.

"I haven't spoke to Jordan about posting it but at least she took it down." I concluded.

"Why would she post that with no caption or anything. It made it seem like he proposed. Not cool." Sammy stated.

"Why would he fake propose? That's not cool." Amber added.

"I know. Common sense would have told them that, but apparently it's not as common as I would hope." I shrugged.

"You know, Jordan was pissed at you." Sammy informed me.

I took a break from devouring my burrito and cocked my head back in surprise. "What?"

"Yep. She felt like you were taking it out on her when she didn't do anything." Sammy said.

"She told you that?" I said, incredulously.

"No, she told J-Mike, who told Trevor and Corey and Corey told me when they got back." Sammy explained.

"I didn't blame her. If she would have picked up her phone and called me, she would have known all I wanted was the picture down."

"Corey was saying the other day he's getting fed up with dealing with her. She's been bitchy ever since she broke up with Derek." Sammy said.

"She's going through a break up. That's hard." Amber said, forever the peacemaker.

"She told me before that she takes things out on other people. What I don't like is that she thinks she doesn't have to be accountable for what she does. I don't even need an apology. Just acknowledge it and stop so we can move on." I complained.

"You might have to call her and clear the air." Amber suggested.

"I think I'll pass." I declined, before biting into my burrito.

Sammy laughed at me.

"Speaking of clearing the air, that's another reason we need to have another girl's night this weekend." Amber announced.

"Oh shit, what needs to be aired out?" Sammy shook her head, while looking at me.

"Not me. I'm good." I joked.

Amber looked at me, nervously. "I do have something to tell you."

I looked over at her. Amber was like the bearer of bad new recently. She needed to just spit whatever it was out...

"Serena knows about your miscarriage." She blurted out.

I blanched.

"What the fuck does that have to do with her?" Sammy snapped, giving Amber a dirty stare. Amber turned to me.

"She found the father's day card you wrote to Ethan." Amber explained, quickly.

"I'm sorry, again, what does that have to do with her?" Sammy repeated herself.

"She feels like you and Ethan weren't up front about y'alls relationship." Amber finished, giving me a look that said help me out.

I really didn't know what to say. In fact, I felt like I already had that conversation with Serena. It was Ethan's decision what to and what not to tell her. I didn't necessarily agree with the water down summary of our relationship that Ethan gave Serena, but I considered myself more of a friend to Ethan than Serena. Wasn't my loyalty to him? What right did I have to tell her differently? And why did he share the card with her if he didn't want her to know?

"Amber, it wasn't on me to tell her that. It was Ethan's decision." I finally said.

"She gets that. It still doesn't make her 100% comfortable with y'alls friendship." Amber said. "I mean, really, who stays friends with their exes anyway?" Amber continued.

I thought it over. Ethan and my history was complex to say the least. We had finally reached the place were it was simple. It wasn't like Ethan and I were the best of friends, but I did consider him a friend.

"Serena choose to continue to date him after she found out about them. What changed besides he could have been her baby daddy? Hell, he already is one." Sammy spoke up.

I snorted and covered my smile. After I composed myself, I looked at Amber. "Sammy has a point. On principal alone, I'm maintaining my friendship with Ethan."

Amber looked at her phone. "That's what I thought. It's exactly why you need to talk to her."

"I'll pass on that too. She knows my number if she wants to talk." I said.

"Alright. Well, I need to go pick up my kiddos. I'll see y'all later and I'll text you about hanging out Sunday. I still haven't seen Magic Mike yet."

We stood up to give her a hug before gathering our things.

"First Rocky, then Jordan. No wait, first Rachel, then Rocky, Jordan now Serena. You're cutting bitches off left and right." Sammy pointed out to me.

I laughed. "I'm really not. Jordan didn't call me. I just don't feel a need to work so hard to keep friendships. I guess I care less with age."

"I feel you. I rather have 1 good friend than 5 fake ones." Sammy said.

We then went grocery shopping together. She caught me up on her and Corey. Through teaching EJ, Corey discovered teaching music was something he wanted to do for a career and was ready to commit to going back to school. Sammy supported him but balked at my question whether they would be moving in together.

"We're nowhere near that step. I like my space." Sammy exclaimed.

Alrighty then.

"About space, how much longer is J-Mike gonna be all up in yours?" She quipped.

"Not funny. It's like college all over again with the stupidity." I lamented.

"Kick his ass out then." Sammy suggested.

I groaned. "I can't do that. Especially when I know if you or anyone else I cared about needed a place to stay, my door would be open whether Trevor was ok with it or not. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place."

"Haven't you heard of pussy power? You have the pussy, therefore you have the power. If he doesn't obey, no pussy for him." Sammy educated me.

"Wow, I'm amazed by how many times you said pussy." I laughed.

"Laugh all you want, it's never let me down."

We went our separate ways after we finished shopping and I carried the bags upstairs to my apartment. I struggled and finally pushed my way in. Wherever we moved, it had to be on the bottom floor. Trevor and J-Mike were sitting on the couch, playing on their laptops.

"Hey Lilypad." Trevor greeted me, flashing me a smile.

"You need any help?" J-Mike offered.

"Yeah, I do. I have more bags in the car." I answered before putting the bags in the kitchen. I put the food away while the guys brought in the groceries. Thank God J-Mike asked. Trevor would be so engrossed in his laptop or game, I had to ask him to help me bring in groceries. I didn't wanna be the nagging stereotype girlfriend J-Mike joked about.

"Y'all are on your own for dinner. I'm full." I informed them when I had everything put away.

"What do you feel like eating Jay?" Trevor asked.

"I don't care. I'll let you pick." J-Mike answered.

"What did you eat?" Trevor asked me.

"Chiptole with Amber and Sammy."

"Burritos sound good." Trevor nodded.

"Is there a Moe's around here? I like them better." J-Mike asked.

One of the reasons I could never be friends with him. Everyone knows Chiptole is better.

After they left, I took Justine out from a run. I came back, did some crunches and stretched. I was betting on J-Mike going to hang with Jordan and so Trevor and I could shower together. I wanted to try Sammy's technique and see if I could at least get a deadline for how long J-Mike was "visiting".

I lost out when Trevor and J-Mike returned with beers and plans to get back on their laptops. I went and took a shower, my plans aborted...

Or maybe not. I pulled out my phone and texted Trevor.

Me: Send J-Mike away so you can keep me company in the shower {Emojis-wink face, bath tub, surfboard, hearts}

He responded right away.

Trevor: {Emojis- surprised face, thumbs up, tongue wagging face, blows kiss face} Give me a couple more hours and we'll shower together

I frowned. Not good enough. I decided to raise the stakes. I turned on the shower and removed all my clothes. When it was nice and foggy, I took a selfie in front of the mirror. When I was satisfied with a sexy, steamy picture, I sent it to Trevor with the caption:

No worries. Twist(my vibrator) is waterproof. {Emojis-Rockets, fireworks, explosions, confetti hat} 

I got no response. I pouted and put my phone up in the cabinet before getting in the shower. I barely got my entire body soaped up before the shower curtain was pulled back.

"He's gone." Trevor told me while removing his clothes.

I gave him a sexy smile. "Guess I don't need Twist..." I said.

Trevor joined me, grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him for a hot, deep kiss. While his tongue sank in my mouth, I wrapped my arms around his neck and smashed my breasts into his lean chest. He cupped my ass and fondled my body under the cascading hot water. We made out, passionately, until I felt him harden against me. I pulled back and grabbed my body wash.

"You're such a dirty little boy. Time to clean you up." I grinned, squeezing the fruity smelling wash in my hands.

He chuckled at my cheesy, porno lines. "Yes Ma'am."

I caressed his entire body, giving special attention to his erection, cleaning him up until the water ran the suds off his body and my hands.

"I think I'm clean." He groaned. "Your turn."

Once he was rinsed, I aimed the water head away from us. "I'm already clean, but I can get dirty again." I said, before sinking to my knees.

"Jesus." He hissed, before I took him in my mouth. I sucked on him until he stepped away.

"That's dirty enough. C'mere." He said, turning off the water and getting out the tub.

I followed suit. When he sat on the toilet seat, I straddled him, kissing him on his face and grabbing hold of his shoulders as our bodies slid against one another's. His face turned into a look of complete pleasure as I guided him inside of me. I rotated my hips, in small, tight circles so I didn't fall off his lap, squeezing him from within. In no time he was coming, holding my body tight against him.

We both caught our breath, holding each other, and sharing little kisses until he sighed.

"We've been living together too long not to have done it on the toilet before." Trevor teased me.

I leaned in close and nibbled on his ear. "A lot of places we can't do it as long as we have a guest..." I hinted, running my tongue over his ear.

Trevor inhaled deeply before letting out a shaky laugh. "He's leaving at the end of the week Lily. He's not moving until he settles his divorce." Trevor informed me.

"Good." I said, quickly, then blushed. "For him, I mean. Moving forward is a good thing."

"Mmmhmm." Trevor said, knowingly, before kissing me on the forehead. "Where else haven't we done it?"

"Babe, I think we officially done it in every room." I smiled, standing up.

"No, not the patio. Or closet." Trevor argued standing too.

"The closet is too small and people could see us on the patio!" I shot him down, pulling out a towel from the cabinet and tossing him one too.

"Ok... maybe every room, but not every surface." He pointed out as we dried off.

"Every surface?" I said, with a shake of my head wrapping the towel around me.

"Absolutely. Rooms are for amateurs." He explained as we headed to bed.

"When did you go pro? When we were just friends and you hoed around with J-Mike?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"No darling. I went pro for you." Trevor said, unwrapping my towel before he tackled me to the bed. I went down, laughing with him.



On Tuesday, after we had a pleasant dinner with J-Mike not saying anything stupid, Christian called me. As usual. I ignored him, until he started texting me obsessively. I couldn't delete them before I read them.

Christian: We're not friends now?

Delete.

Christian: It's like that huh? I thought you had your own mind.

Delete.

Christian: No matter how your boyfriend feels about me, you shouldn't stop your cousin. Don't be a bitch.

Oh fuck no!

With that, I dialed his number.

"What's wrong Lily?" Trevor asked me.

"I'm about to go off on Christian." I said, as the phone rang. Trevor's eyes widen, before he said, "Put it on speaker."

I smirked, briefly, until Christian picked up. I put it on speaker phone like Trevor requested.

"You went behind my back and talked shit about my relationship." I went in, barely giving him a chance to say hello. "I defended you. I stuck up for you. And you started shit with Trevor like he wasn't going to tell me. If anyone's a bitch, it's you!" I lit into him.

"I knew you would react this way to the truth that's why I didn't say anything to you." Christian defended himself.

"And what's the truth Christian? You're a bitch? I figured that out on my own, bitch ass." I goaded him.

Trevor held back his laugh while J-Mike's mouth dropped wide open.

"That you and Trevor aren't going to last. You had this obsession with him since college. You're gonna grow out of it and realize you two make no sense. I'm being a good friend to both of you by telling you what everyone knows." Christian spit out.

"Christian, we're not friends. Never have been. I put up with you because of my obsession with Trevor. Now he don't even fuck with you so lose my number. Stay the fuck away from my cousin or you'll find out about my new obsession with cutting fucking bitches." I threatened him before hanging up in his face.

"Damn..." J-Mike said, completely shocked. Trevor burst out laughing, which made me smile too, releasing some of my tension. I was still seething over Christian's stupid comments. What the fuck did he and this elusive  "everybody" know about me and Trevor? Not a damn thing and he had the nerve to call himself a friend. Fuck him! Bitch!

"I told you not to get on her bad side." Trevor laughed, coming over to give me a hug.

"We're friends right?" J-Mike asked, joking or nervous. I couldn't tell.

"It depends... will you do the dishes?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Right away." He saluted me before leaving. Trevor and I both laughed at him. Fuck pussy power. I just needed to start going off on people.

"Are you ok? Trevor asked.

"Couldn't be better."

After I went off on Christian, I tried to call Bianca. She just texted me back.

Bianca: When I make my decision, I'll let you and my mom know. Nice try Cuz.

I groaned and called her again, telling her to call me back. She didn't. I called her once a day, everyday, all week. No response other than texts.

In better news, as promised J-Mike booked a flight and was heading back to D.C Friday morning. Trevor was going to be late to work so he could take him to the airport. I continued my regular routine of getting up and ready before him. As Trevor showered, I joined J-Mike in the kitchen. He already made coffee, eggs, sausage links and toast.

"Wow. Why did you wait to the last day to be useful?" I teased him, smiling as he offered me a plate. "You didn't poison it? Or boil my pet? Where's Justine?" When I called her, I heard her collar jingle til she emerged from the living room.

"No Lily. It's a peace offering. I would like for us to be friends." He said.

I grinned to myself. He was afraid about the way I went off on Christian. I had no intentions of going off on him like that.

"That's nice J-Mike." I said, neutrally. No point of alleviating his fears...

"Now, I mean it. What's it going to take for us to be friends?"

"J-Mike, were cool. It's just hard not to think about how you and Trevor used to be. I trust Trevor, but I don't want him reverting back to his stupid, thoughtless behavior. I just need you to be respectful of Trevor and me now, that's all." I tried to explain.

"Of course. You know I'm a joker. I don't mean half the shit I say. If I realized what you and Trevor have to put up with, I would have kept my mouth shut." J-Mike replied.

"It's ok-" I started.

"No, it's not. Dealing with Trevor's mom and the interracial thing is enough." His face paled as he shook his head. The look on his face made me stop eating and I studied him. "After hearing her, y'all need support, not jokes. I promise you, I'm done."

Interracial thing? Trevor's mom?

"I still can't believe she refused to see him when she heard y'all were still together. All that shit about the yoked and unyoked and y'all's kids being mutts- I didn't think people really still thought like that. You see on the news about all the race tension- " J-Mike went on while my stomach dropped.

Trevor's mom was refusing to see him? Because of me? Because of my race?

Shamed burned my skin, making the kitchen unbearable hot. Disgust filled me, making me sick to my stomach. Grief washed over me, making my eyes fill with tears.

"Lily-" Trevor called out to me, joining us.

I abruptly stood from the table, hiding my face. "I have to go. I have a meeting. I forgot. I have to go. See y'all later."

I darted out the apartment, not waiting for a goodbye. I had to get the fuck out of there.

Would I Lie to You?

"Would I lie to you?
Would I lie to you honey?
Now would I say something that wasn't true?
I'm asking you sugar
Would I lie to you?" Would I Lie to You? by Eurythmics

After our double date and Trevor's fake proposal, I went home determined to put it all behind me. I knew it wasn't his intentions to hurt me. It was stupid and careless, but not malicious. I put it out my mind and we enjoyed the rest of our 6 months anniversary alone and in bed.

Saturday morning I woke up to my phone ringing. I reluctantly pulled out of Trevor's embrace and grabbed it from the nightstand. When I saw it was Amber, I answered it.

"Hel-lo?" I asked, sleepily.

"Lily! Congratulations! Why didn't you tell me?" She yelled in my ear.

I winced and pulled the phone away.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, still trying to wake up.

"You and Trevor are engaged! He proposed right?!? Tell me you said yes! Why wouldn't you say yes?!?" She demanded.

"He didn't really propose..." I said, perplexed to why she would think that.

"What?!? Jordan posted a picture last night-"

That statement woke me up right away. I cut Amber off with groan as I got out of bed.

"It was a joke." I explained weakly. I tried to force a laugh, but it wasn't happening. I was too pissed at Jordan.

"Oh. Ok. Right..." Amber trailed off as I made my way to the living room with Justine following me.

"I gotta go." I told her, anxious to get the picture down.

"Wait. I need to talk to you." Amber said.

"I'll call you back." I promised, knowing I was lying. I didn't want to talk about Trevor and his fake proposal. I wanted to pretend it never happened. This was all Jordan's fault.

I immediately called Jordan. It rang before it went to voicemail. I called her again with the same results. I kept calling, hoping it would wake her sleepy ass up! This time, it rang twice before I was sent to voicemail. The bitch ignored me!

I text her back instead.

Me: I can't believe you would post that fake engagement picture. It's not funny, it's humiliating. Take the photo down now!!!

Afterwards, I went on Facebook. I saw I had notifications so I was sure that's where she posted it. I untagged myself in the picture and didn't look at the comments. Still livid with no outlet for my anger besides sleeping and clueless Trevor, I got dressed and headed to the gym. I fed Justine before I left.

While listening to songs from Eminen, Alanis Morissette, Nicki Minaj and Lincoln Park on my "Fuck It"  playlist, I ran out my aggression. After an hour of running, I was too exhausted to have anymore energy being upset. I hopped off the treadmill and wiped down the handlebars. As I did so, a tall guy approached me. With one hostile glare from me, he rethought whatever he was going to say and took the treadmill 2 treadmills away from me. I smiled besides myself as I left. Stupid boys!

When I got into my car, I saw I had a text from Sammy. It said to call her, so I put my phone on speaker and called her back as I drove home.

"Hey Lily!" She said, brightly.

"I'm not engaged!" I snapped, grumpily.

"Ok... that's something you need to bitch at Trevor about, not me." Sammy said. I could hear the confusion in her voice.

"You didn't see the picture on Facebook?"

"No... what picture?"

"Never mind. What are you so excited about?" I asked her.

"Christian didn't tell you?" She exclaimed.

"Obviously not." I said, sarcastically.

Sammy ignored me. "Black Reign is releasing their second single and he wants the Honey Bee's to bartend the launch party." She exclaimed, excitedly.

"Oh wow Sammy. That's great." I said, only half lying. Any time she got new clientele was great. The fact that it was Christian's party for Amelia's band sucked.

"Ok, what's your problem?" She asked me, picking up that I wasn't as thrilled as I pretended to be.

"Nothing. Just confused. What does Christian have to do with it?" I questioned.

"He produced the track so he's trying to give it a boost. He's inviting everyone to create a buzz and he wants to hire the Honey Bee's. The exposure alone is major. Why aren't you happy?"

"I am. I'm so proud of you. You deserve it."

"You don't sound like it."

"Sorry, I am. It's just Christian and I are not friends. I've been blowing him off and it's just threw me off that he hired you."

"What happened?" Sammy asked.

I told her briefly about the things he said to Trevor.

"What a dick. I don't have to host-"

"Yes you do! It's business! Don't worry about it," I told her.

"Does Bianca know y'all aren't friends?"

"Not really, why?"

"'He wanted me to keep the dates open because he won't be able to plan the party until he gets back from joining his girlfriend and Bianca in Paris for some fashion thing-"

"Paris?" I exclaimed. "He said Bianca was going to Paris?"

"I'm pretty sure he did."

What the fuck?!? Last thing I heard from her was how much fun she had in New York for 4th of July. She didn't mention anything about Paris with fucking Christian.

"Thanks Sammy for letting me know. Congratulations! Since he has money to take random trips to Paris, overcharge him."

Sammy laughed. "I sure will."


I went back to my apartment and Trevor was up, eating cereal in front of the tv.

"Good morning." He started.

"Morning. Gonna go shower." I said, heading for the bathroom.

"Do you want company?" He grinned.

"No. I need to do girl stuff." I lied, ducking into the bathroom. I locked the door, turned on the shower and pulled out my phone. I called Bianca. I realized it was super early for her in California, but I needed to speak to her as soon as possible. She didn't answer, so I left a voicemail telling her to call as soon as possible.

Wrapped up in a robe, (I learned my lesson about walking around my own apartment half dressed) I joined Trevor in the living room.

"Did you have anything planned for today?" He asked.

"Why?" I returned.

He told me he and J-Mike were heading to Wichita Falls to help his Uncle Jimmy out. Trevor's cousin Lisa opened up a recreational center in the empty building that was attached to the corner store. They were attempting to host teen nights during the summer, but needed help setting up entertainment and electronics.

"You need me to DJ or something?" I joked.

"No. We're setting up gaming consoles, lights, a sound system. It shouldn't take that long but since Winstar is on the way back, J-Mike was thinking about spending the night at the casino." Trevor explained.

I inwardly groaned at the thought of having to spend anymore time with the two of them together.

"I actually promised Forrest I'll make one of his games." That wasn't a lie. I did, just never said which one. No time like the present.

"What time is it? We can wait and go with you." Trevor offered.

"You don't have to do that besides, you don't even like football." I assured him.  "Go. Y'all should make it a guy's weekend."

"It might not even be a guy's weekend if he invites Jordan. That's why I wanted you to come too."

Adding Jordan to the mix turned my no into a hell no. I couldn't be around her without wanting to go off on her. 2 hours in a car with her was a dangerous idea.

"As much fun as it sounds, I promised Forrest. Tell him not to invite her." I shrugged.

"Alright."

While he made plans with J-Mike, I went and got dressed. I checked the schedule Forrest sent me and saw his game wasn't until 4pm. After Trevor left, I did laundry and straightened up. It was actually relaxing just to clean, listen to music and hanging out with Justine. It's been a while since I had me time. It's funny, when I had my own place, the thought of being alone was depressing. Now, I kinda appreciated it more.

I saw that Jordan took down the picture without responding to me. I didn't really care as long as she took it down. Bianca finally called me back and I questioned her about her upcoming trip and why she didn't tell me.

"I hadn't decided whether I was going or not. I can't take anymore time off from my job." Bianca replied.

"Seems like there's not much to think about." I argued.

"Yeah, an once in a lifetime experience or a seasonal job. Pretty much a no brainer." Bianca said, smartly.

"Bianca, Christian and I aren't friends anymore. I'm not comfortable with you spending time with him." I told her.

"I'm not spending time with him. I'm hanging out with Noelle."

"She's dating him so you will be. He's shady and I don't trust him." I told her, firmly.

"Lily. I can take care of myself. As soon as I know what I'm doing, I'll let you know." Bianca responded.

We got off the phone and I contemplated my options. There's no way I could make her not go, she was an adult. Her actions were completely out of my control. I could call Christian to get him to uninvited her, but I didn't want to deal with him at all. Freezing him out seemed to be working and I didn't want to open up any lines of communication. My best next option was getting in touch with my Aunt Patty, Bianca's mom.

I called her and told her about Bianca putting her job in jeopardy to party in Paris. Yeah, maybe I stretched the truth a little bit, but it was worth it. Aunt Patty said she was calling right away and I smiled to myself.

I made myself lunch before I began to get ready for Forrest's game. The game was at Blake's indoor sports facility, so I dressed casually in ripped jeans and a scooped next top. I put my hair up in a high ponytail and put on some make-up before I headed to Fort Worth.

I was shocked by how big the complex was. When Blake explained to me he took over it from his grandfather, I assumed it was small. It was massive, multi-stories with basketball courts, soccer and football fields. I sat in the stands and watched the men play flag football. It was hilarious. It seemed like everyone was having a good time as they talked smacked to each other.

Forrest was a center, so besides hiking the ball and protecting the quarterback, who was Coach Green, there wasn't much I could cheer him on about. I did cheer for his team, which included Blake as a kicker too.

At the end of the game, which Forrest team won, I stuck around to congratulate him.

"Great game." I smiled when he had his bag and joined me on the sidelines.

"Thank you." He smiled.

"Lily! Good to see you." Blake cut in, giving me his killer smile, his light blue eyes twinkling mischievously. "Let me show you around." He said, leading me away.

Forrest followed as he took me on a brief tour. Afterwards, he invited me out with the team for burgers and beer. I accepted and we went to sports bar that boasted a brewery, huge burgers and a TV on every freaking surface available. It was a dude haven, but I felt comfortable as we sat, ate and talked about the game they just won.

"You looked great out there man. I almost didn't recognize you without a cloud of smoke, food, and a couch glued to your ass." Blake made fun of Forrest as his friends laughed.

"Hey, you could have done worse. Breakups suck. I remember during my last one I drank and hung out with this guy that made me listen to sad ass country music. I was ready to jump off a cliff." I said, staring straight at Blake.

Forrest joined in the laughter while Blake put his arm around me. "You didn't let me give you the full Blake experience."

I moved from underneath his arm. "No thanks."

We spent the remainder of our meal talking about football training camp. Majority of the table were Cowboy's fan, so I had to listen to them debate about how great their team was going to be this year.

"How are you feeling about the 49ers?" Forrest asked me.

"We'll see. They got Reggie Bush so I'm excited. Our run game needed help." I said.

"Not going to help much if he gets injured. He stays injured." Forrest contradicted me.

"Let's not hope for that!"

I stayed later than I planned because I was having so much fun. I thought it would be awkward with Coach Green but it was not at all. Everyone playfully ragged on each other without it being hurtful or embarrassing. All of Forrest teammates were really nice guys.

I stopped myself after two beers, so I was confident driving back. Forrest still wanted me to call him as soon as I made it home. Especially since I told him Trevor was out of town for the weekend.

I called him when I pulled into the apartment complex, but when he heard me open my car door, he made me stay on the phone until I was actually inside my apartment.

"Ok, I'm opening my door...closing my door...and I'm in. Safe and sound." I smiled on the phone.

"Ok. Goodnight Lily. Thanks for coming out."

"Thanks for inviting me. Goodnight Forrest." I hung up and locked the front door. I turned around and almost jumped out of my skin when I saw Trevor standing by the couch watching me.

"Hey! I didn't think you were coming back tonight. You scared the shit out of me." I said, throwing my purse on the couch.

"Sorry." He said, simply.

"What's up? How was the country and Winstar?" I asked.

"Good. Were you upset about last night?" Trevor asked me.

I bit my lip. "Define upset." I stalled.

"I think humiliated was the word used." Trevor said.

I took a deep breath. "A little." I admitted.

I instantly felt bad when he looked crushed. "I knew something was wrong. You said it was funny. Why would you lie?"

"I knew you thought it was harmless and funny. It was embarrassing to me." I told him.

He rubbed his hand across his face. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. You should have told me. I thought we were making a joke of our anniversary since you didn't take it seriously. I thought you would laugh at me considering I've propose to you before and you joke about it."

"I never said I didn't take our anniversary seriously. I didn't understand celebrating but I took it seriously as soon as I saw you did." I explained. "It might have been funny if it wasn't in public."

"C'mere." He said, pulling me in his arms. "I'm sorry. I promise, the next time I get on one knee or ask you to marry me, it will be for real."

"It better be." I warned him.

"Third times the charm." He said, with a smile. I shook my head and pressed my lips against his.

"No charm. A ring. A big one. Bigger than all of Kim Kardashian's put together." I murmured against his lips.

"You wanna be married as many times as her?" Trevor grinned.

"No. Just once. First time's the charm."

Funny The Way It Is

"Funny the way it is, if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school, another's dropping out
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
On a soldier's last breath, his baby's being born
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong
Somebody's broken heart become your favorite song
Funny the way it is, if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school, another's dropping out
Standing on a bridge, watch the water passing underneath
It must have been much harder when there was no bridge, just water
Now the world is small, compared to how it used to be
With mountains and oceans and winters and rivers and stars" Funny the Way it Is by Dave Matthews Band

"I feel like I'm the bad guy. Like I'm a major bitch for not caring." I huffed to Dino as I took the boxing mitts from her. It was Thursday and I joined her working out at her dad's boxing class. It was brutal, but a great work out. It also let me blow off some of my frustration. Amber wanting to reach out to Rocky paired with Trevor questioning my original decision to end our friendship made me feel guilt. Not guilty enough to reach out, but enough to beat myself up.

I was taking it out on the punching bag, then the mitts Dino held out to me. Dino, being super observant, ask me what was up. I told her, figuring she would have no problem giving me her opinion. I needed the opinion of someone who was outside the situation, so I welcomed it.

"You're not a bad person. You're just protective of yourself. It's understandable given the circumstances." Dino told me as she pulled on her gloves and I strapped on the mitts.

"Trevor pointed out I was able to forgive Sammy when she was going through her shit, why wasn't I able to do the same with Rocky?" I said, holding out my hands for her.

"You and Sammy went to war with each other;" Dino emphasised with a right hook that left me contracting my muscles tighter. "It's harder to move on from that because it wasn't mutual. All you were trying to do was support Rocky and she attacked you where she knew it would hurt you the worst." Dino explained.

I didn't know what smashed into me harder: her fists or her words.

"You're right. I still felt guilty even though we're not friends. Amber told me she's going through a rough time though." I admitted.

"Because you care. You would be a major bitch if you didn't." Dino smiled. "You can hope for the best for her but it doesn't change that your trust is broken. Pray for her, but other than that, it's probably good you ended the friendship until you both have time to heal." Dino suggested.

I smiled back at her. "I think I will. Thanks for listening."

"No problem."

After our workout, we headed to the locker rooms to shower and change.

"So what's new with you? How's school?" I asked as we walked out.

"Hard but I'm not going to complain if I'm a nurse practitioner before I'm 28. I wish I would have took the summer off though..." Dino said. A huge smile crept on her face.

"What is that about?" I asked, smiling too.

"What do you mean?" She tried to hide her smile. It didn't work.

"What would you rather be doing? Or who?" I teased.

"Why does it have to be a guy? Maybe I'm just happy." Dino bristled.

"It doesn't have to be a guy, but I know that's an 'I met someone look'. If it's a girl, do you." I said.

Dino chuckled. "It's a guy and I'm not doing him. We're just talking."

"About doing it?" I joked.

"No, getting to know each other. Old school. So old school, we haven't exchanged Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, none of that."

"How do you know he's not crazy?!?" I exclaimed.

"You can tell by Facebook?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Touche."

"He's so honest and sincere. The first conversation we had he told me how he was done looking for love because it just never works out from him."

Ew. I would have ran if a guy told me that. How depressing. "Awww, so he hit you with the feel bad for me routine?"

"Probably but I feel the same way sometimes, like I will never find the right guy. He wasn't trying to pick me up, we really just talked. I had to ask for his number. We've been enjoying each others company and it's been great so far. We're just seeing where it goes. " Dino clarified as she walked with me outside.

"Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed." I promised her before I gave her a hug and we split to go to our cars.

"Not necessary if there's no expectations." Dino countered.

I laughed. "Still crossing them." I said, holding my fingers up.

She smiled and waved at me.



That evening when I got home, I was flipping through Facebook and saw all the pictures Serena and Ethan posted of Six Flags. There was a picture of him and EJ on the Justice League: Battle for Metropolis ride. The comments lead to a debate about Superman vs Batman. Ethan was a Batman fan. It was funny seeing him get in an intelligent debate about which fictional character was better. I smiled as I went through comments. Then, of course, I had to add a comment too.

Me: Wow, here I was thinking your superhero growing up was Mike Brady. Nice to see you were into childish things too, even if Batman sucks #TeamSuperman

My comment earned likes and disagreements about it being "childish" until Ethan finally chimed in.

Ethan: That's the last time I confide in you. In fact, that's the last time I tell you anything now that I know you're a Superman fan. #Unfriend

I busted out laughing at his comment. It made Trevor look up from his laptop were he was working on Kenji's site with J-Mike,

"What's so funny?" Trevor asked.

"Ethan's unfriending me because I picked Superman over Batman." I told him.

"Ethan... as in the guy you used to bone?" J-Mike asked.

I sent him a dirty look. He just smiled.

Trevor turned to me, ignoring J-Mike. "Everyone knows Spiderman is the best."

"You would pick the lamest one." I said.

"He sure did." J-Mike cracked, looking at me.

"One of these days she's gonna rip your head off. Fair warning, I'm not going to stop her." Trevor said.

"I can handle it."J-Mike said confidently. I sighed, exasperated. When was he leaving?

"You know our anniversary just passed." Trevor said, pulling me out of my plotting to get J-Mike to go away.

"Really?" I pondered out loud, counting back the months. 6 months?

"Yep, 6 months. We should celebrate tomorrow." Trevor suggested.

"Wow, a whole half a year." I said, sarcastically.

J-Mike chuckled at that. "I had fuck buddies longer. It's not a big deal."

"I know, it's a milestone, at least for me. My longest relationship." Trevor tried to explain, his checks flushing adorably."Forget it. We can all just go out to a bar-"

"No!" I stopped him. I couldn't believe how sentimental he was being and I had to ruin it by being a bitch.

"It's my longest relationship too. Let's celebrate." I nodded enthusiastically.

"Ok." Trevor smiled at me.

"Jordan and I should join you. I told her we'd do something." J-Mike commented

"I'm fine with it." Trevor looked at me.

Since I didn't want to look even more bitchy, I just nodded.



I didn't let J-Mike's inviting himself spoil my excitement about our date. The fact that Trevor remembered our anniversary was so sweet. I didn't understand celebrating 6 months, but if Trevor thought it was special, I would too. I ordered him a nerdy Apple watch and even enlisted J-Mike's help to get the features and customs he would want. I put the order confirmation in a card as his gift.

I rushed home after work and started to get ready. I took a shower, rubbing myself down with Love and Sunshine Sugar Scrub from Bath and Body Works. I wrapped a towel around my still dripping body and went back into my room to pick out a dress.

I grabbed my phone to call Jordan to see what she was wearing. She told me she had no idea what we were doing either, but was wearing a summer dress and heels. I choose a blue, sleeve-less high-low dress and comfortable wedges from my closet before I went over to my dresser drawer.

I pulled on a white lacy boyshorts and bra set for after our date with Trevor. I went back to the bathroom to slather on lotion and body spray. My girl playlist blasting, I put my hair up in hot curlers before doing my make-up. It was always harder for me to do a natural look, but I knew that's what Trevor liked. I applied a tinted moisturizer, bronzer, one layer of mascara on my curled lashes, gold and brown eyeshadow and dabbled a white liner under my eye. I finished up by adding a shimmer to my nude lip.

I took the curlers out my hair and put the loose waves in a half up half down style. I gave myself one last glance before checking my phone. When I saw that Trevor should be home soon, I rushed out of the bathroom...

...and right into J-Mike!

"What the fuck!" I gasped, trying to cover my bra and panty clad body.

J-Mike's eyes scanned me, before he averted his gaze.

"Sorry, sorry. I needed-"

I didn't stick around for his explanation- I bolted for my room. Trevor was inside, changing into a short sleeved button down and khakis.

"Why didn't you tell me y'all were here?!?" I asked, sharply.

He turned and looked at me confused. "You were in the bathroom."

"Yeah, dressed like this! I came out and literally ran into J-Mike!" I exclaimed.

"Like that?" Trevor asked, stupidly, looking me over his gaze resting on my breasts.

I crossed my arms to obscure his view. "Yes! My dress is in here." I snapped.

Trevor lips curled up in a smile, but one glare from me erased it. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Next time let me know!" I growled, grabbing my dress.

"I will. Promise." Trevor said, shaking his head as he buttoned up his shirt. I put on my dress and wedges I picked out. "You look beautiful. Are those shoes comfortable?" He asked.

"Thanks and yeah." I said, shortly.

He came over to me and held me on my waist. "I really am sorry. I want tonight to be a special. What can I do to make it better?"

I sighed, and tried to let it go and relax. "Nothing. I'm good. Let's go."

We went out to the living room to join J-Mike.

"I liked the outfit you had on earlier but the dress is nice too." He continued, further embarrassing me with his trademark grin.

Trevor grabbed him in a headlock and they play fought while it took everything in me not to lose my cool.

"Can we go? Or are y'all going to stay in and wrestle each other?" I tapped my foot, impatiently.

"Yeah, let's go." Trevor said.

Thankfully, J-Mike didn't say anything about catching me half naked and we drove to pick up Jordan in peace.

Trevor eyed Jordan's white stilettos as she got in the car. "We're gonna be doing some walking if you want to change your shoes."

"Beauty is pain. I'll be alright." Jordan said with a smile.

"You look gorgeous." J-Mike complimented her. Jordan giggled and I kept my eyes in front of me at the sound of them making out.

Thankfully, we arrived at Trinity Groves before they started going at it in the backseat. Trinity Groves is an entertainment district in West Dallas. It is at the base of Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge on the Trinity River. It was relatively new as the bridge open in 2012 but I've never been. It still amazed me how many different parts of Dallas I hadn't been to yet.

Trevor and I held hands as we explored. We stopped to take pictures of the bridge. We also took a group picture in front of a BIG sign. Not sure why it was there, but it was Texas so I didn't question it.

 The bridge was nice but it was the restaurants that got my attention. There were many of them with varies cuisines. I was excited to see what Trevor picked out.

"We're doing a food crawl. I heard about a couple of places, but let me know if something looks good." Trevor told us.

That was so much better than one restaurant! I was thrilled. We started our dinner with traditional Spanish tapas and cocktails at the huge bar at my first choice of restaurant. Next, we went to a Asian and Latin fusion restaurant Trevor heard about and sat down to have dinner. We shared duck fat fried rice, ahi tuna nachos and cilantro tilapia. I was the only one who adored the combination, so we had gourmet hotdogs on a patio at the next place afterwards. Lastly, we headed to the place Trevor heard was a must try: a cake bar! We all got slices of the cakes they hadn't sold out yet: hummingbird, carrot, old fashion chocolate and key lime. Every one was amazing. Flavorful and dense with wonderful frosting. I sent out a silently apology to my Aunt Patty for enjoying a cake as much as I loved hers.

It was honestly one of the best dates I ever been on. Even Jordan commented how Trevor catered the date for me.

"Good job Trevor! Thanks for letting us tag along, even though I know this was planned for Lily." She said after we stopped to take more pictures with the bridge in the background. It looked so pretty lit up at night.

"I know. Thank you baby. After 6 months of dating, you know me so well." I agreed, playfully, pulling out his card. "Happy anniversary."

"Thank you Lily." He said, opening the card.

"6 months? It feels longer than that." Jordan commented.

"Time flies when you're having fun and I've loved every minute of being with you. Happy 6 month anniversary." Trevor read, smiling. He then read the order confirmation for his watch. His mouth dropped open. "You didn't!"

"I did. It should be here soon and you can count down to our real anniversary." I teased him.

He chuckled and pulled me in for a hug and a kiss. "Thank you Lilypad. I got you something too." He said, before kneeling in front of me.

Now it was my turn for my mouth to drop. I gasped at him, my pulse quickening and my heart feeling like it was thumping a million beats per second. I was frozen as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet black box.

"Will you accept this as a token of my love and dedication?" He said, opening the box. My eyes were focused on his: his blue eyes were sparkling, mesmerizing.

I nodded, speechless, unable to find my voice.

"Was that a yes?" He asked pulling out a small charm. I was in a daze as he put a charm with the letters "L" and "T" on my bracelet. Trevor got up from one knee with a laugh. I finally understood he was playing with me as J-Mike and Jordan dissolved into laughter.

"That was hilarious!" Jordan laughed, uncontrollably.

"You got her good!" J-Mike joined in.

"Were you expecting a ring? After a whole half a year?" He asked me, wrapping his arm around me, using my own words to mock me teasingly. He kissed me on my temple while I willed myself to relax.

"No..." I said, struggling to pull myself together. I felt a myriad of different emotions. Overwhelmingly, I felt embarrassed. My checks blushed as I tried to block out our surroundings. I didn't want to look around and see who might have been watching. It was humiliating enough. "but normally that's what you get when a man gets on one knee." I took a deep breath and focused on the simple beauty of the charm he got me. It was small, but at least gold plated.

"Do you like it?" Trevor asked me, with a small smile.

It took everything in me to force a grin. "Yes." I really did. Would have loved it if he didn't present it to me the way he did...

"Y'all look great in this picture." J-Mike complimented Trevor and me, showing the picture he took of us. Trevor was on one knee, holding my hand and I was looking down at him, wide eyed deer in the headlight look. I felt like an idiot.

"Make sure you send that to me." Jordan giggled as we walked back to the car.

Trevor slowed down so we were behind them. "Are you ok?" He asked, concerned. "You know the proposal thing-" He started.

I forced another smile and cut him off. "I'm fine. It was funny. Everything was fun. I had a blast." I lied. I gave him a quick kiss to convince him.

Hopefully, one day I could look back on the night and laugh. Right now, it wasn't happening.

Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back) (Brandon's POV)

*Warning*
Explicit/offensive language. I've ventured into the head of Brandon and it's not a pretty place right now, but it is what it is : -)





"You questioned, did I care
You could ask anyone, I even said
You were my great one
Now it's over but I do admit I'm sad.
It hurts real bad, I can't sweat that, cause I loved a hoe
Fuck what I said it don't mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw 'em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I don't want you back." Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back) by Eamon. 

Brandon's Perspective 

"What goes on with me is my business. Mind your own." I said to Jake as I stretched on his couch.

"It is my business if every time I leave and come back there's some random female over." Jake replied as he sat on the arm of the chair and fastened his watch. "And I use female loosely."

"Hey, anybody I bring over is 100% female. No homo over here." I said, taking offense that he would suggested otherwise.

"I meant I don't know what kind of woman that's cool with banging a guy sleeping on a couch. Now that you mention it, that last one did have bigger hands than me." Jake said, twisting up his face in disgust.

"Coming from a guy that's hanging out with a girl he met at a gay bar."

"She was there with friends just like us."

"And you were there to stalk Lily." I called him out. "Don't try to deny it. Jasmine told me you're still hung up on her."

"You and Jasmine need to focus on your own life and get out of mine. We're talking about you. Does Rocky know your dating other people?" Jake asked me.

"Rocky and I aren't back together." I stated, avoiding answering the question.

"Coulda fooled me the way you parade her around with your ring like y'all are working it out. You need to shit or get off the pot. What you're doing is fucked up." He lectured me.

"You fucked random girls for years after you and Cara broke up. If this is about Lily and you being guilty by association, don't worry about it. Rocky and her ain't even friends anymore." I said, remembering how I discovered the "fantastic four" was broken up.

Every since I saw the text from Lily to Rocky, I didn't trust that Rocky wasn't still talking to him. She was still trying to convince me how sorry she was when she called me one Sunday night. I was hanging out with co-workers after work and sent it to voicemail. When I was too faded to drive home, I called her to come pick me up. She was way too quiet and I could tell something was up, so I went through her phone. I saw texts from Trevor telling her to give Lily some time, she didn't really mean what she said, and she was just hurt.

My first reaction was relief. I didn't know how she expect us to try if she still wanted to be friends with him. Reading through her texts with Trevor made it seemed like Lily ended their friendship. A small part of me felt bad, but if Lily wanted to Rocky to be part of the "fantastic four" she bragged about, then that friendship had to end.

I didn't even bring it up with Rocky and she never talked to me about it. The rage returned at the thought of Lily trying to push Rocky and Bilal back together again and I welcomed it. It was familiar and helped me not to feel a bit if sympathy for Rocky. Or anyone for that matter.

"What I do won't fuck up your chances with Lily so don't try to get moral on me. Good luck with that. Even if you do get a chance, she'll be fucking Trevor behind your back." I snarled at Jake.

Jake stood up so he was towering over me, removing the watch he just put on. "If you don't want me to get moral on you, stop being a dick. You don't have to be with Rocky but that doesn't mean you should fuck around with her. Like you said, everything I did was after Cara and I broke up. Rocky told you the truth. That's something Cara never did." Jake started in on me.

"Are you done?" I said, in a bored voice. I didn't have to look at him to tell he was frustrated with me. I knew he didn't agree with the way I was conducting myself, but he never voiced his displeasure besides a disapproving look or asking me if I was sure what I was doing. I just wanted him to leave.

"Naw, I'm not done. Every mistake I made I did own my on, not while crashing on somebody else's couch. So don't compare yourself to me." Jake continued, aggressively.

"Man, whatever. I'll be off your couch by the end of the week." I said, my anger bubbling over. I stood up and heading for the door. I slammed it behind me as I left.

Jake's place was the best option after Rocky told me she cheated. I didn't want to go back to my parent's house when I moved out. It was too far from my job and I didn't want to explain what happened between me and Rocky.

A war had been raging inside of me since Rocky confessed: stay and swallow my pride or keep my pride and lose her. My pride won initially. I couldn't get over the betrayal. I wouldn't let her tears soften me. I wasn't going to let myself get drawn into her excessive apologizes.

When she couldn't even tell me why she cheated, I knew I made the better decision. If it was something I did or didn't do, I could make sense of it. When she had no excuse, that meant she still had lingering feelings for him. I was done with her. I broke the news to my family after Memorial Day.

My mom cried. She asked me if I did everything I could to work it out. That question set me off. I should have known they would find a way to make it my fault. That how it was in my family: Ethan could do no wrong and I couldn't do anything right. Even when I did do something right, it wasn't as good as Ethan. After awhile, I stopped trying. I played the role as bad son because the golden child was already taken.

That changed when I brought Rocky around. She made me step my game up. My parents loved her for that. I was in a healthy, committed relationship. That was something even Ethan couldn't accomplish. Rocky fucked that all up when she fucked him. When Megan cheated on Ethan, it was nothing but outrage and disgust from my parents. When I got cheated on, it was what could I do to fix it. I was the one cheated on. I was the one made to look like a bitch. How was I in the wrong?

That's why I couldn't stay with Ethan either. I figured he would understand, being through it himself. He had a kid with Megan and he still ended it. Surprisingly, (not) he agreed with our parents.

As I drove away from Jake's apartment, I called the newest girl I was hanging out with. The fiancee-cheated-on-me story was the best pick-up line and she was one of the girls that offered herself to help cheer me up. Unfortunately, she still stayed with her mom and while my situation wasn't any better, I wasn't in the mood to sneak around somebody's parents. Jake was right about that- It was time for me to get my own place.

At the same time I thought about moving on,  I texted Rocky and told her I was on my way. I knew I was wrong for messing around with other girls but a part of me felt like it even the playing field a little. Maybe her cheating wouldn't torture me as much now.

When I got to Rocky's house, she let me in and made me a plate of food. As I ate, she started badgering me with questions; like how was Six Flags with my family. Between bites of food, I lied and told her it was cool. In reality, I didn't even go. I took Rocky to EJ's birthday party and to our 4th of July cookout. That was all the family time I could deal with. I even let her wear the engagement ring to show my family I was trying to work it out. I was also trying to convince myself that things could go back to the way they were.

She stared at me, the intensity of her gaze made me feel uncomfortable. It was sharp, as if she was searching for something on my face. I knew she knew I was lying but why the hell was she looking at me like that? She broke us. She broke me. She was the one who gave my pussy away to that Goddammed emo camel jockey without a second thought to me. Why should I feel guilty? I stared right back at her, challenging her to say anything.

I waited for her to snap and go off like she used to do. To roll her neck, put her hands on her hips, stomp her feet and tell me how it's gonna be. I couldn't make up my mind, I didn't know how we moved passed this, Maybe she could help me decide... Instead,  she looked away and started cleaning.

I finished my meal in peace and quiet, missing the arguments we used to have. The intensity and passion she used to have for me. What the hell happened? When did it go away? When I was done, I sat back, trying my hardest not to watch her as she moved around the kitchen. I felt the stirring of my dick as she bent over to put things away. Everything seemed the same but I knew something wasn't right.

She came back to take my plate and our eyes met each others. It looked like she was about to say something, thought better of it, and kissed me instead. I wrapped my arms around her but pulled my face away. I made quick work of her clothes, pulled her on my lap, and bounced her on my dick. The only reaction I got out of her was when she cried out when I sucked her nipples. She sounded like she was in pain, but she didn't stop me so I continued.

When it was over, I looked up at her. She turned her face down, but I already saw what I needed to see.  There was no spark of anger, pleasure, sadness; just nothing in her face at all. I stood up, dropping her in the chair and headed for the guest bathroom. It was too hard to look at her.

I took a hot shower, letting the water wash over me and take the pain away. Even though I given her everything, she still cheated. She said she wanted to be with me but pulled away. My pride, her feelings for him didn't matter. I admitted to myself she didn't love me anymore.

The reason I kept coming back was because all I needed was one sign she was truly in love with me. I never felt that from her. I felt remorse, guilt and regret, but no love. That cut me so deep the pain made it hard to breathe. It didn't matter how many times she said she loved me or how she wanted to fix us. She couldn't fix something that wasn't there.

I went to bed in the guest room, contemplating my next move. I had to get away from her. You know what's worst than being pussy whipped bitch that got cheated on? Being in love alone. I thought about Rocky and him. It's funny, when Rocky first confessed to me, I tried to burn the image of her fucking him out my mind. Now I reminded myself of it constantly. I'd rather be pissed than heartbroken. I replaced that sadness with anger.

Sadness was a useless emotion. My dad always told us to man up. Since I didn't know how to walk away, I could use the anger. I could push Rocky away from me. I could be the bad guy even though she made me feel I could be more than a fuck up because she saw more in me. I had plenty of practice being the bad guy growing up. It wasn't hard for me to resume that role.