Stand by Me

"When the night, has come and the land is dark
Y la luna es la luz que brilla ante mí
Miedo no, no tendré, oh I won’t, no me asustaré
Just as long as you stand, stand by me" Stand By Me (Bachata Version) by Prince Royce 


I woke up on time to get to the airport extra early. I had Justine, my two bags and purse ready to go by the time the Uber pulled up. I made it to the airport, got Justine and my bags checked in plenty of time. I had breakfast of coffee and a muffin before I boarded my flight. I got settled with my headphones and music and was all set. I was too excited to sleep, so I wrote a pro/con list for accepting the promotion at my job. It was severely one sided. Once I was finished, it made it abundantly clear what I needed to do. The list just confirmed what I already felt and I knew in my heart that I wouldn't be happy if I took the promotion. I still had some work to do in regards to what my dream job looked like, but I had plenty of time to figure it out. In fact, my next list was writing what I wanted in my career. After the 4 hour, blissfully uneventful flight, I arrived in Punta Cana!

First thing first was turning on my phone and texting my dad I made it. After that, I headed to get Justine. Once I had Justine and my bags, I relaxed and took in the scenery. The airport already had the festive vibes going: bands in floral shirts played lively music and drinks were being served as the crowds moved through the terminals to the exits. I was observing the crowd, contemplating a shot when I heard my named called. I looked up and saw my dad heading my way.

“Hey Dad!” I smiled at him, pleased but not shocked to see him. It was his thing to always pick me up and drop me off at the airport. Even in the middle of planning to get married, he made sure to come get me. I welcomed him and his consistency with a hug.

"Why aren't you heading for the exit?" He asked me once we pulled apart.

"Um, do you see the band? And the drinks? It would be rude not to partake." I grinned at him.

"We can partake at the resort once we get there."

"We will be at the resort all week. Come on! Have my first Dominican beer with me." I insisted, giving him no choice as I handed him Justine's leash and retrieved us two Presidente beers.

"To the groom and a wonderful wedding week." I toasted him before we drank. He took a sip of his before maneuvering us through the crowd with my bags.  I followed him with Justine, drinking on my frosty beer whenever I could. Once outside, we made our way to the resort shuttle van. While my dad gave the bags to the driver, I got Justine settled in the backseat of the van.

“So what’s up? How are wedding plans going?” I asked my dad once we were all in the van heading to the resort.

“Very good. There has been a slight change of plans." He said, pulling his sunglasses off.

“Ok... I’m listening.” I said, putting my finished beer in the cup holder.

"Sunday, I would like to take you and your brother to Santo Domingo."

"Really?" I said, excitedly. "Why?"

"Well, you mentioned wanting to visit Santo Domingo. Do you still want to?"

"Absolutely! What changed your mind about wanting to go?"

"Since all the events leading up to Saturday is about the wedding, Beatrice and I would like Sunday and Monday to be about family. You would have to give up your horseback riding and countryside excursion." he detailed.

I didn't tell him I had no intentions of going to the pre-wedding events. I still could go ATV riding and cave diving. It was a fair trade off to go to Santo Domingo."That's perfectly fine with me."

"Did you have something you wanted to see in Santo Domingo?"

I smiled to myself as I thought about the documentary I watched with Ethan about the history of the DR and how the city was founded. "No, not really. I want to see where you grew up, where you liked to go, stuff like that."

"There is not much to see. I hope you won't be too disappointed."

"No way. You never talk much about your childhood and I would love to see it. That's all I want." I told him, sincerely.

He studied me for a moment, measuring my words before he nodded. I turned my attention out the window to take in the sites of the beautiful island as we drove to the resort. I pulled out my phone and recorded the views. I narrated the video, stating that since everyone complained about my numerous food pictures, I would be filming a vlog of my trip. I also took a selfie with my dad to post on Instagram.

We arrived and were dropped off in front of the beautiful resort. We were immediately greeted by employees with towels, water bottles and glasses of champagne. I grabbed a water bottle for me and Justine while my dad spoke to the employee that pulled up in a golf cart. I was finishing giving the water to Justine when my dad called me over to leave on the cart. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion when one of the bell boys took my bags towards the lobby. My dad explained that the golf cart will take us to the villa he and Beatrice were staying and my bags were being taken to my room. I told him I wanted to change and get Justine settled before I went over to his Villa. He understood, handing over my key before asking one of the attendants to take me to my room. I promised I would call when I was on my way.

I let Justine off her leash once we arrived in my room. I explored the plush room with my phone recording. My favorite part was the balcony with a Jacuzzi tub and lounge seating. It had a great view of the pool, but was far enough to be secluded and private. After I set out food and water for Justine, I took a quick, hydrating shower before putting on a maxi dress. I tied a matching scarf over my wind blown hair and donned a pair of sunglasses before I tried to make heads and tails of the resort map that was in the room. I wasn't sure how far the Villas were, but I figured finding them would be the perfect opportunity to stretch my legs and check out the resort. I was debating whether I should take Justine but when I saw her laid out on the bed, I left her to rest. As soon as I walked out my room, the same attendant that escorted me was waiting outside my door.

"Hi..." I said with a little smile, confused.

"Are you ready Miss?"

"Um, ready?

"Yes, to go to Senior Ortiz's Villa?"

"Oh, yes. I am going to walk."

"No, we have the golf cart ready. I will take you right over." He started walking towards the elevator.

"You don't have to do that. I want to walk and see the resort. I have my map." I said as I followed him.

"Senior Ortiz instructed me to take you. We can walk or take the golf cart. Your choice." he said, politely as he pushed the down button.

I was sure he was on his feet all day; I wasn't going to make him walk. "Let's take the cart."

The ride to the villa was less than 10 minutes, but Dalvin gave me a nice tour of the resort on the way. He pointed out the multiple outdoor pools, featuring swim up bars and pool parties, the large spa and fitness center, night clubs and restaurants and of course the private beach. It would not have been a bad walk, but I was glad he came with me so I didn't have to navigate the map. We got to the villa on the beach and he walked me to the door. As he knocked, I continued to marvel at the beauty of my surroundings. The weather was perfect, breezy and warm and I could feel and smell the sea breeze in the air.

"Your dad was about 2 minutes away from leaving to go find you." Beatrice opened the door for us. "I told him to at least give you an hour."  

"I figured I didn't need to call him since he had Dalvin escorting me." I greeted her with a hug after she let me in.

She laughed. "You know your father better than that. Come on out to the patio. Everyone is outside." I followed her to the grand outdoor space that included a patio, a private pool and a pathway straight to the beach. It was incredible.

"Swanky huh?" Jenna asked smiling broadly at me as I joined them at the table.

"That's an understatement." I said, giving her a hug. "Y'all better not have a villa." I told Cam as he stood to greet me too.

"What if we do?" He grinned as I left his embrace.

"Justine and I are moving in." I warned.

"They don't. Beatrice insisted on a villa or we wouldn't have one either." My dad shook his head.

"Because I had everything stored. I didn't want all of our clothing crammed in a tiny closet." Beatrice defended herself.

"Don't explain yourself Beatrice. You deserve a villa for planing everything. This resort is incredible." I complimented Beatrice.

"Thank you Lily. I'm glad you like it!" She beamed.

"I love it."

Beatrice offered me a tour of the villa and I took her up on it. She was a great sport as she showed me around and I filmed another video. Cam made fun of me, but I flicked him off until dad caught me. My dad ordered us lunch and as soon as it arrived, we sat down and had a light meal of glazed salmon, rice, grilled vegetables and salad. Not what I would have ordered, but it was good. We sat enjoying the sea air and each others company while we discussed the wedding. Cam did ask when Ethan was coming, and I had to explain to him we broke up. Cam shot my dad a look before he looked back at me and asked how I was holding up. I told him I would feel a lot better if I could get someone to take my horseback riding and countryside excursion for two that I already paid for off my hands. He looked pained but he accepted them. I laughed before telling him I already promised them to Benjamin and Sandra.

Dad and Beatrice had a meeting with their wedding planner that evening, so Cam, Jenna and I hopped on a golf cart to head to our rooms. Cam and Jenna extended an invitation to join them for dinner in a few hours, but I declined not wanting to be a third wheel.  My brother asked me what happened with Ethan and I gave him the long story short version of me not being ready for a relationship quite yet. He looked skeptical, but accepted it and let me know he was here if I needed him. By the time I got back to my room, it was only 4pm.

I returned my texts and phone calls, mostly my friends making sure I made it safely. I uploaded my photos and videos on my social media as proof I was alive and very well. I then put on some flip flops before taking Justine on a walk around the resort. We explored a few shops, pools, bars and the beach for an hour before finding a restaurant. It was super casual and more importantly, had a patio and welcomed both me and Justine. The food was pub style and I got stuffed off of my fried seafood plate with 1.5 orders of fries because I ate some of the ones that came with Justine's burger. 

I was too full for dessert, but the 10 layer chocolate cake looked so good, I figured the walk back would help me make room for it as I took it to go. In my room, I changed into a tank top and comfortable pajama shorts before going out on the balcony to enjoy the night sky and jam to the music I could hear from the pool party. 25 minutes of dancing and singing by myself, I was ready for my cake. I retrieved it and was sitting on the balcony, enjoying every bite when Christian's Nomadic filled my balcony.

I smiled to myself; it was one of my favorite songs and it was kinda perfect considering where I was.  I pulled out my phone and recorded another video, scanning my balcony, me dancing with my cake and Justine jumping around me as I danced. I uploaded the video but when I went to tag Christian in it, I remembered I still had him blocked. I unblocked him and posted the video with the caption: Nomadic For Real @Christian #Nomadic #DR #Views 

Richard was the first to comment on my photo

Richard: You would be dancing with food SMH

Amber: There you go with the food pics lol

Me: lol Leave me alone! I'm on vacation! And it's day one! I didn't do much besides eating 🤷‍♀️

Sammy: And twerk for cake...

Amber: 💀#dead @Sammy

Staci: lol, no shame. We've all been there 🙋‍♀️

Daniel: 👀

Monica: @Staci I can confidently say I never twerked for cake, but do you @Lily

Me: lmao @Monica. There is no twerking going on! Now excuse me while I enjoy paradise 💅

Forrest: Paradise=Cake

Me: @Forrest Pretty damn close🎂

Rocky: 🤣

After I ate, I did get another notification about a direct message. When I checked it, it was from Christian.

Christian: Wow, they fucking with my music in the DR? That's crazy.

I smiled as I responded.

Me: I don't know about the DR, but the DJ at the resort full of tourist definitely does lol

Christian: I'm claiming it. Can I share this on my page?

Me: Go for it!

He did so immediately, not tagging me in it, but captioning it:
My girl representing from the Dominican Republic. Who else had Nomadic moments this summer? Share where ya been and tag me #NomadicForReal

I rolled my eyes at his turning my post into a marketing scheme but I let it slide because he didn't tag me and Justine and I looked super cute. After I finished my cake, I closed the balcony and went to bed.

After a long, glorious sleep under the light comforter, I dragged myself from the middle of the queen size bed and went running with Justine on the beach. After our room, I went back to the room and ordered room services for breakfast. I was showered and changed into a bikini and a comfortable romper by the time my food arrived. I was finishing up breakfast when my dad called. I told him where I was and when I was leaving and he only asked for me to keep in contact with him throughout the day. I promised I would before I headed out.

 I went to the lobby and got instructions to where I needed to go. Dalvin, the attendant from the night before, was at the front and led me to the excursion company's shuttle bus. I figured he was making sure everyone from the resort got to where they needed to be, but when we left he was in the passenger side of the front of the bus. I didn't think much about it as I got acquainted with the rest of the group. There were a few couples, a group of girlfriends and one large wedding group. When I stated I was at the resort for a destination wedding as well, the future bride tried to ask me about Beatrice's plan/package. The only thing I could tell her was the wedding colors and when it was happening.

Once we finally got there, we were led to a little hut for instructions before we were all assigned buggies. Since I was by myself, I excitedly took an ATV instead. I felt I looked a lot more bad ass on the ATV and I was glad Dalvin was there because he gladly took my photo. I posed on the ATV wearing my newly purchased Dominican Republic flag bandanna over my mouth and nose before we started our tour. Our tour guide Annie led us through a hot, bumpy, dusty and sometimes muddy ride, but she was awesome, funny and knowledgeable and definitely made the slow, single file ride entertaining. You could feel how much she loved her country as she told us all about the DR.

Our first stop of the day was at a farmhouse that specialized in coffee, cigars and chocolate. After a few shots of rum, I bought all three before we got back on our 4 wheelers. Our next stop was at an underground cave. There was a large group of people and we had to wait as we made our way down the stairs. I kept myself entertained by paying a few locals for pictures with a couple of animals. Dalvin tried to discourage me, especially the younger local kids running up asking for money and trinkets. I didn't bring that much cash, so I couldn't give them anything besides the chocolates I just bought.

I finally made it to a little swimming hole in the cave. I took my romper off and jumped in while Dalvin filmed me. I noticed that he only did that for me, and I watched him with the other guest as I dried off and put my romper back on. I got suspicious when I noticed he did not really interact with anyone but me and occasionally the tour guide. I let it out of my mind until we arrived at the last stop, the beach.  After I found a relatively open spot to relax and watch the surfers, a man with a cooler full of beers offered me one. He was in the middle of opening it for me, when Dalvin stopped him. He told the young man he would pick one from the cooler, grabbed it and opened it himself before handing it to me. I thanked him and took a sip before speaking again.

"I think I'm gonna hang out here on the beach instead of going back to the resort. Do you have a number for a taxi service?"

"Sí senorita. Give me one moment." he said, pulling out his phone and stepping away.

I barely finished a quarter of my beer when my dad called me.

"Hey Dad. How are things?"

"Good. Your excursion is almost over?"

"No. It's all day." I lied.

"No, it was only 5 hours." he corrected me, impatiently.

"No. I think you misread it."

"I didn't."

"Dad, are you really going to tell me what I bought?" I chided, trying to keep the smile out of my voice.

"Lilian, I know the excursion is about over. You need to come back with the group to the resort."

"Dad, how could you know that? Unless... you sent an attendant from the resort to spy on me!" I gasped, dramatically. "You wouldn't do that right?"

"Dalvin is there to make sure you stay safe, not to spy." He admitted.

"You could have told me Dad. I asked you if you were comfortable with me going on the excursions by myself. What did you think I was going to do? Sneak away if you said no?"

"I didn't want to say no but I am uncomfortable with you going by yourself. I figured this was a fair compromise."

"Yeah, it would have been if you told me." I replied. I took a deep breath before continuing. "Ok, I am coming back to the resort. Whatever you are paying Dalvin, you are going to double it and I will stay at the resort for the rest of my time here."

"I'll talk to you once you get back."

"Ok, I'll call you."


As promised, I called my dad when I got back to the resort, but I was dirty and exhausted. I told him I would talk to him at dinner. I let Justine on the balcony before I took a long hot shower. I laid down with a towels wrapped around my hair and body and dozed off for a few hours, before banging on my door woke me up. I got up, 90% certain it was my dad. I tossed my towel and traded it for a robe before looking out the peep hole. I squealed in excitement when I saw it was Bianca with a garment bag. I opened the door and pulled her in a big hug.

"Were you sleeping?" She asked me as I squeezed her.

"No." I fibbed. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming until tomorrow!"I pulled away.

"I got here early!" She said, grinning at me. "Now, wake up! Operation bounce back is in effect!"She stated, holding up the bag. She opened it to reveal a black and beige striped linen blazer with matching linen shorts.

"Cute." I nodded my approval. Much cuter than the short sleeve top and miniskirt I planned to wear. "What's operation bounce back?" I asked, pulling out a black spaghetti strap top to wear under the blazer.

"No. If you have to wear anything underneath it, make it nude." Bianca stopped me.

I shot her a glance before pulling out a nude sweetheart tube top before she started speaking again. "Just because things didn't work out with Ethan doesn't mean you should be holed up in your room, all depressed. We are getting dressed up and having fun tonight!"

"I'm not depressed. I went on a buggy tour and cave diving today. I was fucking tired." I said.

"Yeah, well, I saw too many cute guys from here to the airport for you to be sleeping alone." She informed me.

I ignored her.

We left for dinner early, planning to hang out at the beach bar before dinner. There was a massive buffet set up near the bar and I planned what I wanted to eat as we walked through. We both got a shot of rum and a Piña Colada before we stopped at a table in front of a live band who was playing a mix of instrumental top 40s hits, Merengue and Reggatone. Even though there were more people eating then dancing, Bianca and I finished our drinks and immediately went to the spacious dance floor. We held hands as we danced around, singing and laughing at each other. I have no idea how many guys we turned down who were trying to dance with us or offer us more drinks. I also didn't realize it was past time for dinner until my brother called me.

"Yes!" I said, over the music.

"Where are you?" He asked me.

"At the beach bar. Where are you?"

"On the way, stay there." He told me.

"Ok."

About 5 minutes later, Cam pulled up on the golf cart.

"Bro... let me drive." I declared, heading his way.

He shook his head. "No. You're already late to dinner. Last thing I need is you crashing the cart."

"We are not late. We've been down here an hour." Bianca said, sliding beside Cam.

"At least." I added, hopping on the cart next to Bianca, squeezing in close.

"Dinners on the beach, not the beach bar." He informed me. "And there is a back seat."

I ignored his latter statement. "But the buffet had so much food." I wailed as he took off.

"Apparently it had plenty of alcohol too. You better pull it together before you see dad or he's going to lock you in your room." Cam taunted me.

I gulped air, thinking that would help me sober up while Bianca pointed out cute guys to me.  I ignored her and focused on being sober. I only had 2 drinks, but I'm guessing they were strong and the lack of food didn't help me. I was still pretty tipsy once we stopped and was escorted to a private section of the beach set up with a long table and a bonfire in front of it. I was surprised to see not only my dad, Beatrice, and Jenna, but also Beatrice's cousin Marianne, my dad's former mentor and now good friend Mr. Reynolds, his wife and his son already seated at the table.

"So glad you could join us." My dad said, standing up to greet us.

"I'm sorry. I thought you said the beach bar. We were waiting for y'all there." I said giving him a smile and Beatrice and Jenna a hug.

"Y'all? Sounds like you been in Texas for too long." Mr Reynolds teased as I gave him a hug.

"Just long enough." I giggled, hugging his wife Kathy. I waved at Marianne, who was sitting next to Mr. Reynolds' son.

"Hey Junior. It's been forever." I gave a smile to Junior before introducing Bianca.

"It really has. No one has called me Junior since high school." He stated, looking over at me after he checked Bianca out.

"I'm sorry. Do you prefer Thomas, Tom or Tommy now?" I asked.

"No need to apologize. It's Alex to avoid confusion."  He stated, giving me a guarded smile.

"Nice to meet you Alex." Bianca smiled at him, charmingly holding out her hand to him.

I side eyed her formality while Alex's smiled widen as he took her hand. "The pleasure is all mine.

With her long legs and ton of skin showing in her jumper dress with just a bra underneath, I wasn't surprised at Alex's immediate interested in Bianca. Guys were tripping up over her at the bar. I rolled my eyes as we sat down. 

"How is Alex not confusing? Your name is Thomas." I asked.

"Hear hear." Mr. Reynolds chimed in, finishing his drink.

"My middle name is Alex." Alex muttered, looking away from me to shoot darts at his dad with his eyes.

"You don't remember this Lily? Alex spent a summer with us while he was attending UCLA." My dad tried to remind me.

"Not really..." I said, still drawing a blank. 

"Probably not. She hid out in her room the whole summer. Pretty sure she hated me." Alex called me out with a smirk.

I shook my head. "Nope, Cam hated you. If I hated you, it was because I was following Cam's lead."

"I didn't hate him. I never hated you Alex." My brother denied

"What? You called him an ass kisser all the time. You also said that's why he was full of shit." I blurted honestly as the food was brought out. Mr. Reynolds snorted a laugh and my dad shook his head at me and Cam both. Everyone else just looked various degrees of amused, including Alex.

"Why don't you eat something? Sober up." Cam said, passing me a basket full of empanadas. I grabbed one and bit into it, before devouring the delicious pastry stuff with cheese. I grabbed another while I waited for the remaining food to be passed around. There was salad, fresh fruit, beans, rice, spicy braised goat meat with peppers, avocado, and fried yuca. I made sure I filled my plate with everything while the conversation moved on to more pleasant topics. Marianne started in about the itinerary of events. I was glad I had food in front of me to help me sober up and keep my thoughts about her duet karaoke night to myself. Majority of everyone was arriving Friday and Marianne planned a spa day for the ladies, golfing for the guys before everyone meeting for the rehearsal, beach barbecue and karaoke.

"We are going swimming with sharks instead, right Cam?" Alex asked my brother. 

"Absolutely not." Cam answered.

"Swimming with sharks sounds like fun." Bianca smiled.

"I agree. How many opportunities are you going to get to swim with a shark?" Alex smiled back at her.

"Ask me how many opportunities do I want to swim with a shark." My brother deadpanned as we laughed.

"It's called trying something new." Alex goaded him.

"You sound like Lily. She went cave diving today." My dad mentioned.

"How was that?" Beatrice asked me.

"It was amazing. I had a great time. Didn't Dad's spy tell you?" I grinned good humoredly as I sample the juicy fresh fruit.

"Spy?" Mr. Reynolds guffawed as he looked at my dad.

"I told him not to do it." Beatrice shook her head, smiling and sharing a secret look with Jenna.

"I had a concierge accompany Lily for the day when she left the resort." Dad explained.

"Without my knowledge." I added.

"Sounds like a spy to me." Kathy shook her head.

"I didn't ask him to report anything back to me. He only was looking after you." My dad responded.

"He ran to his phone when I said I wasn't going back to the resort." I countered, causing everyone to laugh.

"There is so much to do here. Why would you want to leave the resort?" Marianne asked me.

"I just wanted to experience more of the people and the culture and the history. You can't get that much on the resort." I replied.

"Now you sound like Alex. He hates resorts." Mr. Reynolds outed his son. Marianne looked crest-fallen.

"You can be in Hawaii or the Caribbeans or Florida, and resorts would all look and feel the same. The city is more authentic but resorts are perfect for big groups or weddings." He cleared up tactfully.

"Good answer, counsellor." Mr. Reynolds said, finishing his drink.

There was a tense pass between Mr. Reynolds and Alex, but thankfully an assortment of desserts and coffee were brought out. Once dinner was winding down, we made arrangements far as what time we were all meeting up.

"Is it too late for us to join swimming with sharks?" Bianca asked Alex.

"I don't see why not. I will call right now." Alex offered, standing to leave the table to make the phone call.

"What about the spa and golfing?" Marianne piped in, stopping him.

"Right. We are supposed to spend time together." My dad added.

"We have the barbecue tomorrow" Beatrice stated. "Let them go and have fun."

"Lily wouldn't need a spy if she goes with Junior. You trust him, right Carlos?" Mr. Reynolds said, a hint of a challenge.

"It's up to Lily." My dad replied, glowering at Mr. Reynolds.

"If Cam goes, I will." I teased my brother, trying to break the tension.

"I'll go. Doesn't mean I'm getting off the boat." Cam replied, causing us to laugh.

After Alex got a final head count, he called to confirm that we all could come. After we set a time to meet at the lobby, we said goodnight. There were plenty of attendants to take us back to the room in the golf carts, but Bianca and I decided to walk off some of the food and hang out by the beach bar. Even after eating, I was still feeling the affects of the earlier drinks so I nursed a beer the rest of the night. We had a great time; chatting and laughing while dancing at the bar. Bianca would chat up guys who approached us. I politely engaged until I realized she was trying to set me up. I then pretended to only speak Spanish for the rest of the night. She eventually gave up and we enjoyed each other's and the bartender's company until we called it a night.

The next morning, I woke up to my alarm, planning to take Justine out and get breakfast. I drank water and took aspirin before I went to bed, but I still felt horrible. I opened the door to the balcony for Justine, set out her food and water, changed her potty pad before flopping back in bed for more sleep. An hour or so later, I finally dragged myself out of bed at the sound of my alarm. I was in the shower when I heard my phone ringing. I hopped out quickly after I poked my head out and saw it was Bianca. When I answered, she told me she was on the way. I unlocked my door before finishing my shower. Afterwards, I came out to Bianca laying out swimwear on my bed. She was ready in a camo bikini and black crochet lace pants. Her hair was pulled up in a top knot and designer sunglasses were perched on her head.

I grumbled a good morning at her and her flawless appearance.

"Morning lightweight." She taunted me.

"Either the drinks were really strong or I really am a lightweight." I complained.

She laughed at me. "When your ready, I have some options for you."

After I brushed my teeth, I came back out to look at what she brought. I immediately picked out a cute orange monokini from Noelle's collection, but I wasn't a fan of the cover ups. With the lace, mesh and sheer materials, they were all super sexy and didn't cover much. I picked a white sheer  long sleeved cover-up mini dress. When I came out from the bathroom with shorts on too, Bianca frowned at me.

"Those shorts are fucking up the whole aesthetic of the outfit."

I shrugged. "Oh well, I am not trying to have my ass out all day."

"How about for pictures?"

I looked at my phone. "How about breakfast and I'll think about it."

We went down to the buffet and I grabbed a breakfast taco and an orange juice. I barely finished eating before Bianca dragged me to the beach to take pictures together. I did take off my shorts and allowed her to instruct me on how to pose for photos before my phone started to ring. It was my brother and we raced to meet them at the lobby.

"I thought you chickened out." Cam told me as we joined him, Jenna and Alex at the lobby.

"You wish." I said, as we headed to a waiting taxi van.

On the ride over, I turned to Alex and Cam.

"Ok, what's up with our dads? Why is there tension between them?" I asked.

Cam looked at Alex, who shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm considering quitting my job at my law firm and taking a job with Un Flaisito al Catcher instead." He finished.

"Oh wow." I said, understanding. Un Flaisito al Catche was the name of the foundation Alex's mother and dad founded together. Once Mr. Reynolds and Alex's mom divorced, she moved back to the Dominican Republic to work at the center while my dad kept the foundation going from the states. I had no idea if there was any hostility back then about my dad doing that, but I understood Mr. Reynold's being upset that his son was leaving a career as an attorney to work for the foundation his ex-wife founded.

"So who's idea was that?" I asked.

"Completely mine." Alex answered quickly. Too quickly.

Cam and my eyes met. I could tell he didn't believe that.

"It was." Alex emphasized, looking at Cam. "Your dad always talked about expanding it and I came to him with a plan to do it."

"I hear you but I also know how my dad is. He'll say something enough and you'll start thinking it's your own idea." Cam spoke up. I nodded in agreement.

"My dad is the same way; that's the reason I went into law. The last time I truly felt fulfilled was when I volunteered for the Un Flaisito al Catche. That's the only reason I want the job."

"Have you told your dad that?" Jenna questioned him.

"I tried." Alex replied.

"Believe me, I get it. You gotta do what makes you happy." Cam said.

Alex nodded, thoughtfully.

"Well, I got offered a promotion, but I'm probably going to quit my job. I'm gonna need you to have that same energy when I tell dad." I confided in them. 

"What?" My brother turned to me. Jenna looked intrigued and Bianca looked perplexed.

"Yeah, I know that I am not going to take the promotion but I haven't decided whether I am going to quit or not." I explained.

"Did something happen to make you not want the promotion?" My brother asked

"No. I've been a team lead for almost a year now and I'm sure management is not for me. " I explained. "I just need to figure out what is for me, you know?"

He nodded. "Right. You know I support you know matter what you choose. Dad does too."

"And If he doesn't, you can always remind him how supportive he was of me." Alex suggested, with a smirk.

I smiled. "Good point."



Swimming with the sharks actually turned out to be quite tame. I guess I imagined going out to the middle of the ocean and having nothing but a cage separate us from wild sharks. In reality, they took us to a enclosed part of the ocean that housed some sting rays and sharks. It was fun, especially after snorkeling. On the way to swim with sharks, we weren't allowed to drink and everyone mostly kept to their group. Bianca kept us entertained with stories about the places she traveled and people she met with Noelle. Alex was particularly beguiled by her. Bianca mentioned Noelle was her girlfriend, so he knew he didn't have a chance, but I couldn't fault him for being enthralled by Bianca. Women and men both were captivated by her. She's always been a natural beauty, but previously her looks were more casual and cute. Now, she was stunning and glamorous and stood out, not only in her attire, but how she carried herself. Hell, he would never admitted, but I caught Cam checking her out a few times too. Jenna handled it like a pro, putting her arms around him or playing with his hair to get his attention versus getting upset. I gave her a knowing smile and she grinned back.

Once we got done snorkeling with sharks, the bar opened and alcohol was flowing on the boat. The crew made sure to get everyone involved drinking and dancing. They played a mixture of Latin pop hits. They taught us some traditional dance steps before going to a crowd favorites with the Wobble and the Cupid Shuffle. Once we sat down to eat, Alex asked me were I learned how to Bachata and Merengue dance. I entertained them with stories about how my extended family on my bio mother's side playing nothing but Merengue music when they had events and parties. After eating and drinking, we lounged out lazily on the deck. On our way off the boat, Bianca tried to get me to talk to one of the passengers that I danced with. He called me beautiful and asked to take me out dancing. I turned him down politely and tried to keep walking, while Bianca stopped. When I threatened to give him her number, she continued walking with me.

"I have no intentions of getting over Ethan by getting under some random dude so you can stop trying to hook me up." I advised.

"I'm just trying to help you figure out what you want." Bianca smiled. "I know once you date enough guys, you'll realize Trevor is the only one you want to be with."

"Ok Bianca." I said, letting it go in one ear and out the other as I took long strides to catch up with Cam, Jenna and Alex.

"We both know it's true." She sing songed. "I wished I could have talked him into coming this weekend. I don't think you would be as indifferent in person." She revealed, nonchalantly.

I stopped dead in my tracks when she said that. 

"You did not." I said, hoping she was kidding.

"Don't worry; You ignoring him has him convinced to leave you alone. He said he's going to respect your 'boundaries'." Bianca said with air quotes.

I took off my sunglasses to look her in the eyes. I wanted to be very clear on what I was telling her. "You need to do the same. You've shared what you think, now you need to respect what I know. I'm done with Trevor.  You can be his friend, but I don't want anything to do with him. He's not a part of my life anymore."

A hard frown came on her face. "Is that really what you want?" Bianca asked, patronizingly.

"That's what I want and need." I asserted.

"Fine." She said  before we walked toward the waiting taxi.

The taxi ride back to the resort was relatively quiet. Bianca was preoccupied with her phone so I pulled out my phone as well to go through my pictures and videos and post the ones I liked best. Once we arrived at the resort, Bianca raced to her suite to get ready for Noelle who was arriving in a few hours. Cam and Jenna wandered off for alone time and I have no idea where Alex headed to. After tending to Justine and taking a shower, I sprawled out on my bed to rest and write another list. This time, it was what I wanted in a man. When I stopped, my list had a total of 16 different traits that I wanted in a man. I added 4 more that were physical traits just to make it an even 20.

After about an hour, I got up to get ready for the night. I had a salon appointment tomorrow with the rest of the girls to get my hair done for the wedding, so I just pulled my air dried hair back in a neat bun. I expertly made up my face to look as naturally flawless as I could, with the exception of a burgundy lip color. It matched the burgundy lace crop top and matching rose printed skater skirt I was wearing to the barbecue. I wore wedge sandals that made my legs look longer in the flirty skirt. I applied a shimmering body spray to my arms, legs, shoulders and back that was exposed. I took selfies in my full length mirror and reviewed myself, critically.

Once satisfied, I made my way down to the rehearsal. It was being held on a private part of the beach, not far from the villa they were staying in. Beatrice saw me first, and after she gushed over my outfit, she introduced me to her mother and father. I greeted them warmly before I stood next to my brother and Jenna. Bianca arrived shortly after I did, in a mint green, cold shoulder jumpsuit. It compliment her long, lean figure and enhance her curves.

"You look alright." She told me, with a little smile.

Bianca was disappointed I didn't let her dress me, but her begrudging compliment let me know I did ok on my own. It also showed me that whatever tension there was from our talk was now gone. I was introduced and reintroduced to the wedding party. The party planner was friendly and polite, but more importantly, efficient. She quickly paired us up, and told us the order we were going down the aisle.

After the rehearsal, we walked to the barbecue that was set up on the beach. It wasn't just a rehearsal dinner, but more of a welcoming party for everyone who traveled for the wedding. We were greeted by fire dancers at the party. It was the perfect way to start off the night. The dance routine, the upbeat music, stunning tricks with their torches and the shirtless dancers torsos were amazing. After the performance, we were able to get pictures with the dancers. I posed with my family and got a couple by myself. 

After we got our food and drinks, we sat down to eat. While we were eating, I showed Bianca the picture I posted online with, in my opinion, the cutest fire dancer. I captioned it: It's getting hottt in here! Think he might take off all his clothes? 🤔😛😍

When Bianca laughed out loud, Noelle leaned over to look too. She gave me what felt like a rehearsed smiled. "You are so clever. Bianca and I are always so entertained by your post. Have you ever thought of becoming an influencer?"

I laughed, assuming she was joking until Bianca gave me a look that said she wasn't. I cleared my throat, thinking of a nice way to say that posing in bikinis and getting paid for likes was not a viable career option for me. "Oh wow. That's cool that you think I could, but I'm not that entertaining. Besides, I don't have enough followers for that." I smiled.

"All her social media is completely private." Bianca added nodding to me and Noelle.

She waved Bianca off. "Bianca didn't have that many followers either. All you would need to do is have public pages. I can get you a publicist to help run them. Then you could leverage your relationship with me like Bianca did. I could even get you on a few episodes of my show. Your following would go up and opportunities would flood in after that."

"Bianca has her clothing line to promote. I wouldn't purposely put my name out there to try and sell myself. I'm good with what I'm doing. Thank you though." I said, diplomatically. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but I didn't like the way she made it seemed like Bianca used or 'leveraged' her.

She cocked a perfectly arched eyebrow at me. "Oh? Bianca mentioned you were thinking about quitting your job. No worries if you're good at working a 9-5. If you change your mind, I am here to help."

"Thanks." I responded, ending the conversation. I tried to meet eyes with Bianca, but she just give me a weak smile. An awkward silence fell between us. I kicked off my wedges and excused myself to get some air. I walked towards the water, letting the tide wash over my feet. When I noticed the time on my phone, I grouped messaged EJ and Ethan to see how the first day of the tournament went.

Ethan replied to me first.

Ethan: Good. He played against his summer camp coach's team. They won, 42-31.

Me: Wow. Was that hard EJ?

EJ: No. We are better.

Me: How were your stats?

EJ: I don't know

Ethan: 9 points, 7 rebounds, 3 steals

Me: Awesome job! Keep it up! Good luck tomorrow 🏀🏆🏀🏆🏀🏆🏀

EJ: Thanks

I smiled and put my phone back in my purse and walked back to the barbecue. A few guest came up to make toast to the bride and groom before the party ended. Marianne was rounding up everyone to go to the bar for karaoke night, but I snuck to my room instead. I woke up the next morning, refreshed but a little anxious about the day. I had no idea where the nerves where coming from. It wasn't my wedding but at the same, I wanted everything to go smoothly for my dad and Beatrice.

After a light breakfast of fresh fruit at the buffet, I joined all the bridesmaids at the salon to get our hair done. My hair was curled in large, loose waves and pulled off my face on one side with a peach and white flower clip. I briefly wondered what the flowers and colors meant, but the thought left my mind as soon as I had it. They looked beautiful and matched charmingly with my dress. I noticed Bianca was a little off, so I asked how she was doing. She smiled and said that she was ok, so I didn't press it any further.

I was surprised how low-key all the bridesmaid's were. We got our make up and hair done with no issues before we headed to the bridal suite. Even Marianne only catered to Beatrice's needs. We got dressed before the photographer and videographer joined us as we waited for Beatrice to emerge.  They took photos and videos as we did our finishing touches; fretted with our dresses, touched up our make-up and hair. Beatrice finally emerged, her dress the perfect combination of elegant, stylish and classic. The nude underline gave it not only a vintage feel, but matched perfectly with the bridesmaids various shades of peach. Seeing everyone's reaction, especially her mom, had me tearing up. I quickly dabbed them away.

"I never thought I would see this day." Beatrice mom said in between sniffles as she tried to pull it together.

"Mamá, you're gonna make me cry." Beatrice beamed, hugging her tightly as the photographer snapped away. Once her mom pulled herself together, she turned to us to receive or compliments and hugs. I couldn't hide my emotions as I gave her a hug.

"You look gorgeous." I choked up.

"Not you too Lily." Beatrice murmured giddily as she hugged me.

"I know. I'm a sensitive bad ass. Don't tell my dad." I joked, smiling

She gave me a heart warming smile. "He already knows."

The mood changed from emotional to jovial excitement as we drank champagne and took photos together with Beatrice. It momentary changed back to emotional when Beatrice father came as we got ready to go. He looked at Beatrice proudly and said "It is about that time. Are you ready sweetheart?"

"I'm ready. I've been ready." She said, her voice breaking. Her dad embraced her and I truly understood the depth of love she had for my dad. I knew how difficult it could be to love a man like my father. He was controlling and possessive and definitely needed everything on his terms. My brother joked once he needed a foot soldier, not a wife. At the time I agreed, but now I realized he needed someone who not only accepted him for who he was, but loved him for it. Beatrice did and that love allowed him to soften his stance on marriage and his willingness to do the work to make it last. I was glad that they not only found each other, but were finally committing to each other in marriage. It was about time.

The ceremony was absolutely perfect. There was not a cloud in the sky as Dad and Beatrice exchanged the traditional vows to one another. My sensitive bad ass self did shed more tears when they were pronounced husband and wife. It's not everyday you see your dad get married so I let the tears come. I did have to get a touch up on makeup before we took what felt like millions of pictures on the beach. Once that was over, we finally were escorted to the palapa set up on the beach. It was gorgeous, completely open to maintain the stunning view of the ocean with the high ceiling fully draped to give it an elegant feel. The inside was decorated with hanging greenery, tropical flowers in various shades of pink and white and soft candles to give the reception a natural, enchanting look.

A live band played classic songs with an island twist in front of a small dance floor. My dad and Beatrice had their first dance to the band's rendition of "Stand by Me." My brother put his arm around me and gave me a toughen up squeeze and I smiled the tears away. After the dance, Beatrice and Dad joined us at the co-heads of the tables that were pushed together in a U formation. It was perfect for conversation as we ate our plated dinner. The first course was caprese salad and mahi mahi carpaccio, the second course was portobello rissotto, followed by a choice of seabass or beef filet. Even though it was standard wedding food and I preferred the grilled meat and seafood from the night before, everything was very good. I sat beside my brother and Jenna who sat on the right hand side of my dad, but was still able to turn and have a conversation with the guests behind me. Mainly, Benjamin and his wife Sandra. I kept in touch with my cousin Benjamin and Sandra on social media, but I rarely got to see them as they lived in Arizona.

"Christmas is going to be in Canada this year. Andrea pushed to host it and wants the whole family there." Benjamin told me after I mentioned that was one of the things I missed about not living in California: the family get togethers. For a long time, it was just my dad and Cam. It was nice to have a lot of extended family on my maternal side.

I perked up at the name of my maternal grandmother's sister. I met her once as she doesn't travel from Canada that often. "Really? Is everyone going- including your mom?" I asked.

"If she wants to see her grandkids she will." Sandra backed up Benjamin with a sly smile.

"You should come, no matter what she decides to do." Benjamin invited me.

I smiled. "You had me at Canada. I'm dying to see some snow. I'll definitely try to make it."

"Try to make what?" My dad asked, overhearing our conversation.

"Possibly visiting Canada in December this year." I told him.

My Dad and Benjamin had a strange exchange. Not one of challenge or malice, but of understanding I didn't comprehend. I looked at my brother and the concentration of his brow let me know he caught it too.

"You really want to see snow?" My dad followed up.

I nodded smiling. "Yes. Real snow. I've seen more ice than anything in Texas."

"Beatrice, tell them about your trip to Aspen." Dad requested her.

"I am never speaking of that day again." Beatrice laughed.

"I will!" Her best friend Destiny volunteered.

We all laughed while Destiny spilled all the tea on their disastrous trip. Jenna and Cam had stories about getting stuck in Missouri with bad weather one time when they were visiting Jenna's family. It didn't dissuade me though and when Benjamin described his fond memories of visiting during winter breaks during school, going skiing and staying warm with spiked teas and hot chocolate, I was completely sold.

I tried to confirm with Bianca if she was going, but she told me she and Noelle would have to check their schedule before she could commit. One thing I noticed and didn't like was how much Bianca changed around Noelle. She was no longer the vivacious, charming woman with everyone. Instead, she was reserved and only speaking to Noelle in hushed tones. Occasionally they would laugh together but when I looked and tried to catch Bianca's eyes, she either didn't notice me or was avoiding me. Noelle always gave me a curt smile or a little wave, but nothing besides that. I decided to leave it alone for now, but bring it up at another place and time.

Over dinner, I got the standard questions from my dad's guest about my love life and if I had plans to settle down soon. Everyone also asked me specific details of my life; like if I was still enjoying Texas? How my job working for the Dallas Mavericks was going? They also gave me congratulations on my house and complemented the remodeling I did. My dad's former agent Tammi asked me where Justine was at because my dad told her how much I loved her and treated her like part of the family and she expected to see her. I was a little surprised by that. With my dad, compliments were hard earned and I never heard him gush about anything or anyone. It was a little weird that he talked about me and my life not only in such great details, but so positively.

All weirdness aside, dinner was lovely. I enjoyed meeting Amelia, Alex's mom and Mr. Reynolds' ex wife, most of all. She had stories about not only the Dominican Republic, but about my dad when he was younger. I didn't realize his strict dieting came from the fact he gained 20 pounds in the first 3 months after moving to California. My dad shushed her but she promised since she was traveling back to Santo Domingo with us, there would be plenty of time for us to chat. After Beatrice and Dad cut the cake, coffee and rum were served and a cigar rolling station was set up on the beach. I was at the table, eating my cake when Bianca and Noelle joined me.

"Hey Lily." Bianca greeted me cheerfully. "We are about to go to our room."

"Already?" I said, disappointed as I stood.

"Yes, we have an early flight tomorrow, but it was wonderful seeing you again." Noelle gave me a distant hug.

"You as well." I smiled, before hugging Bianca tightly. "What time are y'all leaving tomorrow?"

"Around 8." she responded

"Ok. I'll see you before you leave."

I watched them leave and made my way to Jenna to get her professional opinion on Bianca and Noelle's relationship. Before I could sit next to her, a loud siren went off. I was completely thrown off as the band started to play Merengue music and feathered and costumed dancers made their way into the reception. I looked around for my dad, who conveniently was out on the beach with Mr. Reynolds and a few of his former teammates smoking a cigar and watching.

"What the hell is this?" I exclaimed.

"La Hora Loca." Jenna explained to me with a smile. "Beatrice mentioned having one if your dad wanted a cigar bar." She barely finished before a masked dancer pulled me out on the dance floor to join the conga line. Jenna was pulled as well and we both laughed as we joined in.

I was convinced the reception would be a stuffy dinner, but I was so wrong. The crazy hour was the wildest reception I've ever been to. The dancers passed out mask and noisemakers to everyone and I took one of each. Soon everyone under the palapa were out on the dance floor, busting out their best dance moves. I had a blast dancing with everyone. The la hora loca ended and after that the reception wound down. When Dad and Beatrice made the rounds before they retire for the night, I got ready to go too. A rambunctious group invited me to drinks and more dancing at the resort nightclub, but I went to bed with a second slice of cake instead.


The next morning, my alarm woke me up at 7am and Justine and I went for a run on the beach. I tried to coax her into the water with me, but she refused. After a quick dip in the ocean, I went back to my room, showered and changed before going to the lobby to meet up with Bianca. I waited till around 8:15 before I sent a text to Bianca. She texted me back that they left early and she figured I was still asleep. I told her to have a safe trip and text me once they got back to California.

At breakfast, I briefly spoke to Benjamin and Sandra. They invited me to join them, but I told them I needed to get some food to Justine. I asked if they were planning to come to Santo Domingo with us, but Benjamin told me they were staying at the resort and leaving Tuesday morning. I gave them both a hug and told them goodbye. In my room, I text EJ to give me a call as soon as he was up. Justine and I both ate and I had my bagged packed with Justine supplies, plenty of sunscreen and a change of clothes like my dad requested. I scrolled through my social media as I waited for EJ to call me. I saw pictures of EJ at the tournament on Albert's Facebook, but nothing about how they did. I didn't want to keep reaching out to Ethan if he didn't reach out to me first, but I got tired of waiting so I texted him.

Me: Sorry for bugging you but EJ hasn't responded to my text yet. How did the tournament go?

Ethan: They lost two games in ended up placing 6th.

Me: Out of how many teams?

Ethan: 16. They played his camp coach again and lost. That team knocked them out of the tournament.

Me: 😲 How?

Ethan: They adjusted. We didn't.

Me: Urgh, that sucks. Thanks for letting me know. I'm still waiting on EJ to call me back so I will work on my "it's not if you win or lose but how you play the game" speech.

Ethan: Don't. He heard enough about it last night and they played they game horribly, thanks to his coach.

Me: LOL. I could tell by his face in the pictures on Facebook he was over it. I still offer my services to go off on his coach...

Ethan: Not necessary. The season's over. If EJ still wants to play, I will be having a talk with the coach before I pay any team fees.

Me: If he does, can you please record that conversation? I need to see it.

Ethan: I'll take really good notes and fill you in.

Me: Fine... maybe you can do a reenactment?

Ethan: Really doubtful.

I laughed to myself, and put my phone down, thinking the conversation was over when my phone beeped again a few minutes later.

Ethan: So how was the wedding?

I smiled at his opened ended question to me. I was relieved we could still hold conversations about EJ, but thrilled that he still asked about me.

Me: Beautiful and chic. A little weird, but in the best way

Ethan: Why weird?

Me: There was la hora loca.

Ethan: Crazy hour?

Me: Yes! The last hour there were dancer with costumes who turned the reception until a dance party. It was an unplugged event, so as soon as Beatrice release the footage I'll show you the pictures.

Ethan: Nice. Anything else weird?

Me: It was all loving and mushy

Ethan: Aren't wedding supposed to be loving and mushy?

Me: Yes, I just wasn't prepared for all his friends and people he considers family saying mushy, loving stuff about me.

Ethan:  What else would he have to say besides mushy, loving things about you? Your dad may not be overly affectionate, but it's obvious he loves you.

Me: I'm sure he could think of a few not so loving things about me lol. But yeah, he's not affectionate at all so even though I know he loves me, it feels different hearing it from him.

Ethan: It's something you like to hear right?

Me: Right 😊

Ethan: EJ just text me so he should be calling you soon

Me: Ok. Thanks Ethan! Bye!

Just like he said, EJ called me a few minutes later.

"Hey, how was the tournament?" I asked him, even though I knew the answer.

"We got sixth place." He responded, grimly.

"That's pretty good! Congratulations!!"

"Thank you." He grumbled.

"Are you excited about Disney World?" I changed the subject to something more cheerful.

"Yes." he answered shortly. I paused, concerned that his shortness was not because of where they placed in the tournament.

"Well, I went cave diving the other day. I should have borrowed your GoPro. It was really cool."

"Cool." He grunted, barely hiding his contempt for this conversation.

"Are you ok EJ?"

"I'm fine." He lied.

"No you are not. I can't fix it if you don't tell me what is wrong. What's the matter? "

"Don't worry about it. Go hang out with your new boyfriend."

"EJ what are you talking about?" I questioned, completely confused.

"You and Dad broke up because you have a new boyfriend?"

I felt cold with dread. "No. I don't have a new boyfriend."

"But dad didn't go to the wedding?"

"Because we did break up-"

"You're a liar! Go back to your boyfriend. His song sucks anyway!!!" He hung up on me and I was momentarily stunned.

I had no idea what I should do. I've seen his fits of rage but never were they directed at me. Attitude yes, annoyance, sure, but never him full on angry with me. I was debating if I should try to call him back, but decided to hold off. I was 100% sure that Ethan would never tell EJ details about us breaking up. I knew he wouldn't say bad things about me, especially not to or in front of EJ. At this point, it didn't matter who told him because the damage was already done. I had to tell Ethan about it.

I called Ethan and he answered right away. I filled him in on word for word what EJ said.

"He said what?" Ethan asked. I could hear both the shock and outrage in his normally even tone.

"He didn't really say it. He was repeating what he was told. I don't want him to get in trouble for that." I replied.

"I will deal with whoever he heard it from after I talk to him. I don't care if he is repeating what he heard; It's inappropriate for him to talk to an adult that way." Ethan said, heatedly.

"I know... Just... Can we deal with it when I get back? Together? It may dispel some of his fear that we are going to hate each other. He was really worried that we would break up and fight. I think that's why he was so angry now because he thinks things are going to change between us." I pleaded my case.

"You get back on Wednesday?"

"Yes."

"He gets back with his mom Thursday. We will talk to him then."

"Ok." I said, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I need you to know, it's not true. Nothing happened with Christian or anyone else. I am so sorry, about everything." I exhaled.

"This isn't your fault."

"My actions contributed to it. I wasn't ready for a relationship and I have to take responsibility for hurting you and EJ."

He took a audible breath. "I told you the only thing I asked from you was your time and honesty. You gave me both. Don't be sorry about that. Like you said, EJ will be ok once we show him that nothing's changed."

"Ok."

We got off the phone and I felt not only relief, but confident that he is a true friend and would always  stand by me regardless. After everything we been through together, it was more than what I could ask for. Still feeling uneasy about him being so upset with me, I had to send EJ a text.

Me: No matter what happens, you'll always be my friend. I love you and I am not going anywhere. You let me know when you are ready to talk.

Once I sent the text, I turned my phone off. I didn't want to think or worry about it, so I focused on the day with my family. I grabbed my bag and leashed Justine before I walked out to meet my family. My dad hired a driver with a shuttle van that sat me, Justine, Jenna, Cam, Alex, Amelia, Dad, Beatrice and refreshments comfortably. In the beginning over the ride, I gotta admit I was a little distracted thinking about EJ and the identity of the person who told him that Ethan and I broke up, but I tuned in when Cam asked Alex about spending his summers in the DR.

"As a kid it was great: We played baseball all the time, hung out with a bunch of other kids at the city beach, walking with my mom to the colmados. As I got older, I started to realize the startling differences between living in a gated community with my dad in L.A and staying in a two bedroom apartment with my mom." Alex answered.

"After Tom and I divorced, I had enough money to stay in the US and lived comfortable if I wanted to but I always wanted to come back. Tom said we would when he retired, but I didn't want to wait until I was too old to do anything."

"So that's why you came back?" Beatrice questioned.

"I did! When you grow up in the DR, all you hear is that America is the land of opportunity. If you can get there, you can do anything." She explained, talking with her hands, looking to my dad for confirmation. He nodded his head in agreement. "I got there, had a fancy house, fancy car, lived the American dream and all I wanted was to go home and share with my people." She exclaimed.

"And that's where the Un Flaisito al Catche came in?" I asked her.

She nodded.

"Where did the name come from? It means fly ball right?" Jenna asked.

"Fly ball to the catcher. Its also an idiom for something that's really easy to do." Alex answered.

"That's what we tell the kids; Sometimes the adults too. All you have to do is show up and be open to learn. It's the easiest thing to do to better your future." Amelia elaborated.

"Education is something Amelia has always been passionate about. She was the first person to ask me what I planned to do when baseball was over." My dad spoke up.

"They don't tell the kids that when they recruit them. They don't explain or even bring up the possibility of not having a career in baseball." Amelia preached.

"It's baseball or nothing here. They scout players when they are boys, some of the kids drop out of school to focus on baseball. Only 1 out of 40 boys make into the league. What do you think happens to those other 39 boys?" Alex asked.

"No education or job skills." Cam answered.

"My brother was one of those boys. He thought his life was over when he didn't get recruited.  The girls don't have it much better. If they're lucky, they will marry well." Amelia said, blankly, but I could feel the hurt and anger in that statement.

Alex grabbed her hand. "That's what Un Flaisito al Catche is about. Baseball shouldn't be the only way out of poverty for these children."

"Have you told your father that? You want to help the children who weren't as fortunate as you?" Jenna asked him.

"Yep. He told me to get into immigration law." He said dryly.

I blanched. "Geez. Way to miss the point Mr. Reynolds."

"That's what I said." Alex smiled at me.

"Believe me, it took me some time to realize I can only guide my children, but their choices our their own. He'll come around." My dad advised him.

The rest of the ride was spent with Amelia telling dad where he needed to take us. I tried to persuade her to come with us, but she stated she wanted to get back to Un Flaisito al Catch to get ready for the evening sessions. She said mostly adults came on the weekend, but afterward the community got together for dinner as a thank you. The night would also be goodbye to some of the college students whose summer was coming to an end. We dropped her and Alex off first before we went to the baseball academy my dad attended. He told us he was actually born in raised in the countryside on his grandfather's farm, but he and his mother moved to Santo Domingo after he got recruited.

We went on a tour of the facilities and learned there was an academy for every MLB team in the Dominican Republic. It made me a little sad to think of all the kids that put all their hope and dreams into the academies all over the DR, but don't make it. It was sad to think about, but it made what my dad was able to do even more impressive. Not only did he get drafted and make it to America, but he was able to learn and build off that success. He attributed getting drafted to being lucky and credited Tom and Amelia for giving him the knowledge for his business ventures. I knew he also had to put in the work to be successful. I was so proud that he did and honored that he chose me to be a part of his family. I showed my admiration by making sure I took a picture of a picture of him at 17 in shorts, a club t-shirt, backwards cap and gold chain to tease him mercilessly about it, but it was all out of love. Beatrice brought us all one of my dad's jersey and before we left, we took pictures at the academy while wearing them.

Next, we went to the beach Dad visited when he had free time. It was the city beach Alex talked about and it was packed with vendors, locals and tourist. It was difficult finding a parking place, but thankfully the driver was able to drop us off. People where playing in the water, surfing, and boating. The sand was filled with people tanning, lounging, eating and enjoying the beautiful weather. We walked the beach, checking out the vendors who sold everything from bathing suits to massages to oil paintings.

If I didn't have to fly home, I definitely would have gotten a painting. There was one of children playing basketball in a field that I loved. When the vendor tried to talk me into the sale, saying he would ship it to me, my dad led us away to a beach side restaurant. It consisted of a huge stand with tables and chairs all around. While Dad went to order us lunch, we found a table. A little while later, an array of food was brought out to us. We had a delicious lunch of fried fish, tostones, sweet potatoes and chicharron with a sauce that was called Viagra.

"They call it that because it turns on the flavor of the pork." My dad informed us. I didn't know what was more shocking: him explaining Viagra or him eating it.

"It's real pork? Like pig?" I asked, shocked.

"Yes, fried pork belly. This is the only time I will eat pork." He responded.

After I ate, I completely understood. The food on that beach was the best food I ate so far. It was so flavorful and fresh, it was totally worth working through the bones of the whole fish and having to fight my brother for the last chicharron.

"I putting in an order for Amelia and Alex. I will get you two another order." My dad smiled at us.

"Make it 5." Beatrice added. "For anyone at Un Flaisito al Catche tonight."

"Good thinking." I agreed.

My dad took it a step further and bought enough food to feed a small army. It took us two trips to get it all in the shuttle van, but we did it gladly. The last evening class was wrapping up so we put the food away before Amelia and Alex took us on a tour. I was surprised by the size of the building. I don't know what I was expecting, but I guess maybe something that rivaled the huge baseball academy we saw earlier. Instead, it reminded me of a 2 story home, which each bedroom providing a different service.

There was a technology center and an English room that resembled a kindergarten class room with the alphabet and letter sounds framing the room. There was also a work force room that had job listing and trade school information as well. When I asked, Amelia told me more about the day to day operation and how Un Flaisito al Catche helps continue children and adult education, teach kids how to make healthy decisions, inform and provide information on different trade school and give lessons on English to give them an advantage in the work field. She told us how the mission was teaching them skills so they have the best possible life for themselves.

"Is everyone a volunteer?" I asked.

"No, we have 3 admin who work year round. The rest are volunteers: local and retired teachers, and high school and college students. And anyone else my mom can bully into working for free." Alex ended with a chuckled.

"It's the least we can do for the community." Amelia said.

"It's an amazing program. There should be one for every baseball academy." I remarked as we walked towards the stairs.

"That's the plan." Alex stated with confidence as he stopped to let me go down the stairs first. I nodded to thank him, and he stared at me, attentively. I broke eye contact with him as I followed my brother down the stairs.

After the last class ended, everyone helped take all the food out to the courtyard between the homes. There was already a group of people there, playing music and eating food that was already out. The food we brought got distributed pretty quickly. I didn't get anymore chicharron, but I did try sancocho, the Dominican stew that Amelia made. It was scrumptious as well. Music played from a stereo with large speakers and people came and went; socializing, eating, playing dominoes and cards and dancing. I was sitting on a bench, taking pictures and videos of everyone. Jenna and Cam were dancing; it was more like them holding each other and swaying to the beat then following the footwork, but it was sickeningly sweet. My dad was entertaining the men folk, answering questions about playing for the league and reliving some of his proudest moments. Beatrice and Amelia were sitting together chatting about something that had them both laughing .

The kids played with Justine and she was loving all the attention until she got tired out. She tried to rest by me and I got the kids attention with a deck of cards and the only game I knew all 7 of us could play easily: spoons. We scrounged up plastic spoons and a few forks and I taught them the simple card game. We huddled up and played the fun, but competitive game. I got out in the 4th round, but I was glad I was able to sit back and watch them trash talk and have fun. They got so loud and boisterous, a few older kids joined as well. They started another game and I sat on a curb with Justine resting her head in my lap as I petted her.

"Looks like you could use one of these."

I looked up to see Alex sitting down next to me, handing me a Presidente beer.

"Yes, thank you." I said, taking the frosty cold bottle from him before taking a long, frothy gulp followed by a satisfied burp.

I covered my mouth, embarrassed. "Excuse me."

"Good?" He asked me, with a genuine smile.

"The best. It's always icy cold, but not frozen. At the airport, the resort, even when I went cave diving; it's always perfect." I answered.

"It has to be. It's offensive if you serve it any other way." Alex replied after he drank his. When I grinned, he continued. "I'm dead serious. It would be the equivalent of giving a thumbs up in Greece."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"If you're trying to tell someone to fuck off, no."

 I laughed. "Good to know. Wouldn't want to learn that the hard way."

"No, you wouldn't." He said, regretfully. I chuckled at him as I sipped my beer.

"You are really good with the kids. It's obvious you really care about them and the foundation."

"Yeah, It's just... frustrating when you think about it. We all come onto this earth the same way, but who you're born to, where you're born, even what race you are can determine your whole future. I like the idea of leveling the playing field for kids, giving them choices they might not have." I agreed.

"So why don't you work for the foundation?" He asked bluntly.

I almost choked on my beer. Was he sussing me out? Thinking I wanted his job or something? "Don't worry, I have no desire to work for my dad or the foundation."

He frowned. "Why would I worry about that? We have the same vision for growing the foundation. It would only be beneficial to work together."

"I have no background nor education in running anything." I reminded him.

"Neither did my mother: she only had a passion to help her community so she made it happen. I can see you have that same passion to help children. The fact that your dad is one of the co-founders is all you really need."

I shrugged. "Not really. Even if he believed in nepotism, I wouldn't want to take advantage of it."

"I wouldn't call it nepotism; it's passing on his legacy. And even if it was, so what? It benefits the children if we can grow the foundation. Would it be worth it to help level the playing field?"

"Good point counsellor." I goaded him.

"Take your time and think about it, boss."  He goaded me back, with a nudge. I finished my beer and thought about it.

"You still want advance classes?" He asked me.

I looked at him, confused until he gestured to the couples dancing to the music. "You wanted an advance dance instructor on the boat. You're not going to get any more advance than this." He said, holding out his hand.

I smiled, thinking about my humble brag of needing more advance dance moves on the boat Friday. "Are you asking me to dance?"

"Only if you can keep up." he smiled back.

I took his hand and accepted his challenge.

I was pleasantly surprised by what a good dancer Alex was. He was also patient and easy going as he taught me the various moves and advanced 'spins'. He sang along proudly and off key to his favorites, and I made a mental list to remember the lyrics so I could make a playlist of the songs I didn't know. I wasn't able to keep up with Alex, but I definitely had fun trying. I let him know when my dad announced we had to get ready to go and I was saying my goodbyes.

"Well, I'm glad you gave me a chance this time instead of freezing me out." He wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"I told you, Cam hated you. Not me!" I grinned before finishing my beer.

"Cam moved out during that spring break. My dad just married wife number 3 so I was constantly at your dad's house. You completely ignored me then."

I took a moment to think about it and I was able to remember. I was 15 then and his presence at the house kept Mr. Perez from coming to see me. I should have been thankful, but in my angst and Mr. Perez manipulation, I resented Alex.

"Oh god, I remember. I was such a brat. There was a lot of stuff going on but it had nothing to do with you. I'm sorry." I apologized.

"Its ok. Really, I'm glad we had an opportunity to get to know each other better and reconnect." He said with a warm smile. "Hopefully we can do great things in the future together."

I returned his smile. "I hope so too." I walked away to join my dad as we said goodbye to everyone. When I turned back towards Alex, he was still watching me walk away. He gave me a little salute with his beer and I shook my head and smiled to myself.

The van took us back to the hotel that my dad's mother worked at before he signed a deal with the MLB. In the morning, we went to the local market. Not only was I able to sight see and learn more history about Santo Domingo, I was able to pick out souvenirs for everyone at home and a few cute thing for Justine and me. My dad discouraged all the gifts I was buying, but I told him this was a tradition he technically started. I would buy souvenirs and gifts for my friends with the money he made me take when I went out of town. He allowed me to shop in peace then.

We stopped at lunch at a sandwich shop my dad frequented as a teen. We had delicious meat and cheese paninis and a drink called Morir Soñando, or die dreaming. It consisted of orange juice and condensed milk and it was freaking addictive. After we ate, we piled in the van to head back to the resort. By the time we got back, it was a little after 2pm. Everyone was exhausted or waking up from a nap on the bus. I was the latter and was stretching outside of the van before I clipped Justine on her leash. I grabbed my backpack and my dad told me he would come with me because he needed to talk. I cursed Alex, praying he didn't mentioned the idea of me working for the foundation.

 I needed to really think about it and do some research first. The foundation was based in L.A., would I have to move? What would my primary role be? Would I be working under my dad? Reporting to Alex? There were so many answers I needed before I could even consider or talk to Dad about it. As we walked away from the group, I was telling Dad the same. All thoughts of the foundation left my mind when my dad walked to an outdoor sitting area and I recognize the man sitting at a table, waiting for us.

Bet Ain't Worth the Hand

"Don't get your feelings broken for nothin'
Maybe I'm leavin'
Leavin' here with nothin'
I might regret that I can't be your man
Sometimes the bet isn't worth the hand
(I been hurt before, don't wanna hurt no more)
(I been hurt before)
Sometimes the bet isn't worth the hand
(I been hurt before)
I gotta let ya know, girl
I can't let it go any longer
Sometimes it ain't worth the hand" Bet Ain't Worth the Hand by Leon Bridges

I stayed over at Ethan's house way later than I planned to. We had an impromptu game night, teaching EJ blackjack and poker. Blackjack was easy; EJ got the basics down right away, although he lost most of his candy with his risky bets. Poker was a little longer, teaching him the hand rankings and how to bet. Ethan also taught him techniques on how to bluff and read people. Ethan's poker face was amazing- I could never read whether he had a good or a bad hand. I went all in on two pair and lost all the candy I bet to Ethan. He gave the candy to EJ when I got ready to leave.

“Good luck at your last tournament this weekend! When you get back from Florida, I plan to celebrate the number one spot with you.” I said, giving EJ a hug goodbye.

“You’re not coming to my games?” EJ asked as he pulled away.

“No. My dad’s wedding is this weekend remember? I’m leaving on Wednesday.”

He looked at Ethan. “Are you leaving on Wednesday too dad?”

There was a painfully awkward moment when Ethan's and my eyes met. We haven’t talked about our trip to the Dominican Republic since prior to our breakup. I was hoping after we talked, he would still want to come with me to my dad’s wedding. Ethan cleared his throat and turned to EJ. “I’m not missing your games.” He told him simply, his answer worrying me. “Say goodnight to Lily.”

“Goodnight. Don’t forget my Dominican snacks. The weirder the better.” He reminded me.

“Of course. I'll talk to you soon.” I smiled at him, giving him another hug before I turned to leave. Ethan opened the door for me, but when he didn’t make a move to follow me, I asked him to walk me outside.

“I wanted to finish our talk.” I said as we walked out the door.

“What talk?”

“About us?” I supplied.

"What about us?" He asked, simply as we stopped in front of my car. I let Justine in the backseat before turning to face Ethan.

"Our relationship and getting back on track."

"We are on track. We're friends." he stated, candidly.

"I want us to be more than friends. I thought you understood what I was saying about the flamingo.”

He raised an eyebrow at me and I heated, a mixture of embarrassed and flustered.

"The flamingo was a metaphor for me and where I'm at." I began to explain. "I am finally letting go of Trevor. I used him to feel better about myself, but I don't need that anymore. I don't need him in my life." I elaborated.

"You also said you wanted to take your time to make sure you are ready for a relationship. Meaning, you're still not ready, correct?” He asked, more like a statement of fact than a question.

I took a moment to gather my thoughts before I responded. "I am not ready to jump back to where we were in our relationship, but I want to start over."

“I don't want to go backwards with you Lily. I don’t see a point in dating if you don't want or if your not ready to be in a relationship.” He said, bluntly.

That definitely stung; I took a moment to understand where he was coming from.

"I'm not saying I don't want to be in a relationship with you. I'm just asking to take a step back so that we can make sure our feelings are real." I stated, as plainly as I could.

“If you’re not sure your feelings are real, we should quit while we're ahead. Let's continue being friends." He responded, passively.

I stared at him, both hurt and confused. I wished I could say I was 100% sure about my feelings for him, but I couldn’t. There was too much at stake for me to go all in with Ethan without being 100% sure of what I wanted and what I felt.

"Ok. I understand.” I said, taking a deep breath to steady my emotions. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” he said, watching as I got in my car and left.


On the drive home, Ethan’s words tortured me. As much as I could see where he was coming from, it was fucking devastating that he wasn't willing to start over with me. Him not seeing a point in dating me kept repeating in my head over and over again, rousing the self doubt and insecurities I fight so hard to overcome. I kept it together on my way home. Once I got there, I collapsed in my bed, mentally and physically exhausted. I slept until my alarm clock woke me up.

I woke up feeling pretty even the next morning. I was still hurt over Ethan's decision, but I didn't have the time or energy to dwell on it. Since I was leaving Wednesday morning, I needed to do laundry and pick up a few more things for my vacation and my dad’s wedding. I ignored my phone and rushed to get everything done before I had to go to work. I was on my way home from shopping when Rocky called me.

She immediately asked me how it went with Ethan. I explained to her what happened and his decision not to date me anymore. She asked me how I was holding up and I told her the truth: it hurt, but I had to respect his choice. After I caught up with her about Ace, Brandon and Forrest, I let her go when I got home to get ready for work. When I got to work, Adil was already there early for the meeting he set with me and Dr. Clayton. I checked the huddle board before I went to the team lead office. Dr. Clayton was already there and Adil instructed me to close the door before I sat across from him.

"Dr. Clayton, it's your news. Would you like to share?" Adil started after we exchanged pleasantries.

"As you know, October will mark my 20th year at the facility." He began, looking over at me. "I've decided I'm going to retire."

"Really?" I said, completely shocked. I was blindsided- I didn't see this coming at all. Things had been going relatively smoothly- the tension between him and Adil was gone, there was no more rumors of him quitting. I had no idea retiring was something he was considering.

"Yes. It's the best decision for me and my girls. I plan to enjoy the fruit of my labor before I am too old to." He declared, with a sincere smile.

"I get it. I really do. Congratulations." I told him, genuinely happy for him.

"Thank you. I'll leave you two to talk." He said, before getting up to leave.

"With Dr. Clayton retiring, there are going to be changes in the organization." He announced as soon as the door closed.

I nodded. Back when there were rumors that Dr. Clayton would leave due to his friction with Dr. Fahri, I decided what would be the best case scenario. I was ready to tell him that I would be happy to move up to mornings and Dr. Goodman would be the best choice for evening lead.

"We're eliminating the evening team lead position." Adil informed me.

A mixture of disbelief and dread hit me all at once. "How is that going to work?" I asked, not catching on.

"There is only going to be one team lead. You. The job is yours." He offered.

"What?" I said, flattered and stunned.

"When I took my promotion, I told Dr. Tran 2 team leads were unnecessary. With Clayton and his family obligations, we had to have a back up to share the responsibilities. The facility only needs one supervisor and I know you can handle it." He commented.

"So I would open and close and manage all the patients?" I asked, needing clarification on how the 2 roles would be combined into one. It was more than my ability to handle it that I was concerned about: What would my day look like if I took the position?

"Not quite. You will work the same hours as the facility is open. Your primary objectives will be managing the therapists and liaisons with myself and athletic trainers to approve rehabilitation plans. We will appoint 2 senior therapist that will oversee the patients, keep the huddle board updated and report to you. Your responsibility would be to manage the facility, not the day to day with the patients."

"Got it." I nodded my head in understanding. By eliminating working with clients entirely, I would have plenty of time to manage the facility. I just wasn't sure if I was happy with that role. "When do you need a decision by?"

Adil looked at me, startled. "I figured once you come back from vacation we could hammer out your contract. If you need time to think about it, I can let Dr. Tran know you will have a decision by the first week in September." He explained, watching me curiously.

I nodded. "Ok. Thank you for considering me. I will let you know."

When I stood, he stopped me. "I want to be clear: this change is happening. If you don't accept, your job will be eliminated and the best you could be is a senior therapist. However, the new team lead will pick their seniors." He said, dauntingly.

"Noted." I said, before I left the office.

I had so many thoughts rolling in my head. It was a great opportunity and I knew I should be grateful they were offering it to me. I knew I could negotiate more money, vacation time and possibly working holidays remotely if I accepted the new role. The thought of being able to retire at Dr. Clayton age would be nice too. Outside of working on rehab plans, the new role of managing the center sounded awful. Managing the therapists included working with scheduling, dealing with their concerns and problems, and stepping in when our clients or trainers had complaints. Some days, it felt much more like babysitting than leading a team. Meeting with Dr. Fahri and athletic trainers meant bumping heads and playing peace maker between surgeons and athletic trainers. Dealing with Paul Bolen showed me that Dr. Fahri would not be any real help; he would play politics about doing what made him look best, not necessarily what is best for the clients. And now that I wouldn't even be working with them, I would have to solely depend on the opinions of others to make decisions about what was best. It gave me anxiety just thinking about it. 

I went back to work, trying to imagine what my new role would feel like. Most likely, I would spend my day in the team office, fielding doctors and trainers, updating rehabilitation plans, and managing the therapist. The only time I would interact with clients was if there was a problem. Problem solving was honestly the worst part of my day. Playing politician, peace maker and baby sitter to adults was everything I loathed about my job. I didn't think I could handle it as 100% my job. On my lunch, I distracted myself from the decision I eventually had to make by pulling out my phone to finally go through all my notifications. I had missed calls from Rocky, Cam, Staci, Sammy, Bianca and Trevor on Sunday. I went through my text messages first..

Unknown number: Hey, It's Christian. Bloggers have already reached out to Hugo about us being pictured together. Wanted to give you a heads up.

I sighed, not caring about anyone else's opinion but at the same time not wanting to deal with the fall out of being pictured with him. I googled Christian's name, and sure enough, there were a few articles showing me in a dark club with Christian. We were only talking but coupled with pictures from earlier that evening of me out with Bianca and Noelle in the same outfit, the article promised drama with headlines that read: 3s Company Too? Christian Wilson Caught with a Member of EX Girlfriend Noelle's Squad!!!

Urgh, I didn't know what was worst: Being tied back to Christian or being labeled as a member of Noelle's crew. The articles didn't mention me by name, thank god. Either their sources weren't too great or they didn't have the time to investigate how I was related to Noelle. Whatever the case, I appreciated it and sent Christian a thanks for the head's up.

I continued to go through my texts from Sunday.

Amber: I know you just got back in town, but can you meet up with us tonight? In desperate need of girl time.

Sammy: Hey, did you get Amber's text?

Staci: I know your pissed with Amber right now, but you need to talk to her.

I didn't intentionally blow Amber off on Sunday night. I didn't want her thinking I was cutting her off or avoiding her because I was pissed. I wasn't even pissed with Amber- annoyed maybe, but her choices were her own. I called Amber back right away.

"Hey Amber." I said when she answered. "I'm sorry I was M.I.A last night. I was busy and I just saw your text. Is everything ok?"

"It's ok." She said, sincerely. "I'm fine but I do need to speak to you."

"Ok. We can meet up tonight, after I get off work?" I offered.

"Sure. Text me when you get off work." She said.

"I will." I promised.

When I got off from work, I sent Amber a text. We planned to meet up at a restaurant by her house. I got there early and checked my phone before going inside. Trevor left me another voicemail which I ignored. With the self doubt I was feeling about Ethan, I knew it would be dangerous to listen to what he had to say at the time. I needed to speak to Dr. Pereira before attempting to deal with him. I read a text from Christian.

Christian: Anytime. How'd your bf react?

I winced, reminded that Ethan didn't want to be my boyfriend or date anymore.

Me: It's all good

I put my phone in my purse before heading inside the restaurant. Amber was already seated in a booth in the back. I joined her and after she stood up to hug me, we sat across from each other.

"Are you sure everything is ok?" I asked as I observed her. She looked fine, but tired.

"Yes. Everything's ok." She nodded. The waitress came over and Amber ordered wine and I just ordered water. After she left, Amber took a deep breath.

"I did want to share something with you. I didn't want you to hear it from Ethan."

My ears perked up at the mention of Ethan. "What's going on?"

"Will and I are separating." She revealed.

I nodded, taking that news in. I hate to say it, but I wasn't surprised. Me finding out about her "emotional affair" with Q made me realize she was not invested in trying to keep her marriage together. Separating before something worse happened was probably the best idea.

"I'm sorry Amber. Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm really ok. I truly believe it's the best thing for us." Amber claimed, her eyes welling with tears. "I wanted to make it work for our kids, but I've been unhappy for a really long time." She finished, breaking up.

I reached out and grabbed her hand. "The best thing for the kids is to see their mom happy. You have to do what's right for you."

"Right. That's what I'm doing now." She nodded and sniffled. "I'm gonna be staying with Sammy until I find a place-"

"You're moving?" I asked, shocked.

"Will... is not taking it very well. I don't want to fight with him or disrupt the kids’ life more than it will be. When I get my place, I will work out a custody agreement with him." Amber rationalized quickly.

That really didn't sit well with me, but I nodded and kept my opinion to myself. "Ok let me know if you need anything." I squeezed her hand.

"I will. Thanks."

The waitress came back with our drinks and after Amber took a large gulp of her wine, she changed the subject. "How was Vegas? I want to hear all about it."

"It was good." I nodded, sipping my water.

She flashed me a slight smile."Come on! I need more details besides what I saw on Snapchat."

I smiled before pulling out my phone and going through my pictures and videos. She gushed over the hotel suite and the seats we had at the Mariah show, laughed at Rocky and me dancing on each other, and complimented my various posed photos with Bianca, Rocky and the bridal party.

"It looked like you had a great time." Amber said, handing my phone back.

"Yeah, I was surprised how much fun I had with Beatrice. She's pretty cool." I agreed.

"Nothing else to add..." Amber grinned at me.

"Uh... No. Not that I can think of. Why?" I sipped my water.

"Mia has been slamming Christian online for reuniting with you." Amber mentioned.

"Why haven't you blocked her?" I rolled my eyes at the mention of Mia.

"I have! We have mutual co-workers who told me she was on a rampage about it."

"Whatever. That's their problem." I shrugged, sipping my drink and trying to dead the conversation.

"Ok... how did Ethan take you hanging out with Christian?" Amber questioned me.

Sadness and regret engulfed me as I admitted the truth. Everyone would know we were not together when he didn't come to the wedding with me. I figured telling her would be the least painful way as she would tell everyone else for me."We broke up. He actually broke up with me before I went to Vegas, but I was hoping we could work it out. We didn't."

"I'm sorry Lily. Are you ok?" Amber asked me, worried.

"I'm ok... I'll be better after my vacation." I smiled, putting on my poker face.

"I know that's right!" Amber brightened. "Think about it, the last time me, you and Sammy were single together was back when we worked at Dave and Buster's-"

I cut her off. "Wait, what? Sammy and Corey broke up?" 

"Well, not officially. They're taking a break but I really doubt them getting back together." Amber disclosed.

"What happened?"

"Nothing major. They haven't been spending a lot of time together or getting along when they do so Sammy suggested they take a breather. I don't think she's in a rush to rekindle things."

"God, I feel so bad. I've been so wrapped up in my own stuff, I didn't realize what was going on with her. Or you. I'm sorry." I said, regrettably.

"It's ok! Once you get back, we are going to have a singles celebration and get you all caught up." Amber planned.

"Just tell me the date and time and I am there." Celebrating breakups didn't sound like fun to me, but I would be there to support my friends. After dinner as I was in my car about to head home, I saw that Christian texted me back.

Christian: Good. Good luck with everything

Me: You too Christian.



I drove home and once I changed into my pajamas after feeding Justine, I called Sammy. She didn't answer, so I sent her a text letting her know I spoke to Amber, I was sorry to hear about her and Corey and to call me when she got a chance. Next, I returned Bianca's call.

"About time you called me back!" She exclaimed over the phone.

"I just saw you a few days ago, I'm gonna see you this weekend. What do you want?" I teased, in mock disgust.

"Wow... I was trying to check on you! I will never do that again!" Bianca threatened.

I laughed. “When are you and Noelle arriving in the DR?”

“Friday night and we're leaving Sunday morning.”

“Ok. If you make a day earlier or stay a day later, you can go on excursions with me...” I tried to entice her.

She laughed. “Couldn’t talk Ethan into going with you?”

“Ethan is not coming… We broke up.” I informed her.

“What? Because of those pictures with Christian? Tell him believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.”

“No. What? Do you really tell people that?” I chuckled.

“It’s the truth, but don’t change the subject. What happened?” Bianca insisted.

I went ahead and told her everything that happened the past couple of weeks. I finished with his decision about not wanting to go backwards with me.

“Can I say something and you can’t get mad?” She asked.

“If I say no, will that stop you?” I teased

“Absolutely not.” She said lightly before I granted her permission to continue. “I don’t think you will find anyone who loves you as much as Trevor. I know he has is flaws, but love makes you insecure and stupid and crazy sometimes. He loves you more than anything. I think it says a lot that Ethan won't even give you a second chance and Trevor will do anything to be with you again."

"Exactly. He shouldn't be willing to do anything to be with me. That's not healthy. We were both toxic to each other." I pointed out to her.

"Ok, maybe not anything, but I know he is willing to do counseling. Do you ever think there will be a day where you will be willing to give it another try? Maybe do couples therapy together?” She reasoned with me. I wanted to ask her how she knew what he was willing to do and if she had been in contact with him, but it didn't matter. It didn't change how I felt.

"Bianca, it took me almost a year of therapy to get to the place were I can accept myself. I had to do the work on my own, and I'm still figuring out what I want. Even if I was willing, he has to work on himself." I explained.

"I know. You’ve done amazing work on yourself. I know he’s willing to do the same work. Just think about it. Really, really think about it if you could ever give him another chance." Bianca pleaded.

“I'll have plenty of time to think on the resort this week. Did you see the itinerary Marianne sent out?” I changed the subject. I didn't want to lie and say that I would consider anything.

"Yes... that's one of the reasons we're coming Friday night." Bianca laughed.

Once I got off the phone with Bianca, I thought about how I really didn’t want to hang around the resort or the bridal party. I wanted to do my original plans of exploring the island. My Dad wasn’t a fan of me going on excursions in a foreign country but relented when I told him Ethan was coming with me. Now that he wasn't coming, I couldn’t get what Ethan said about not stressing my dad out of my head. Before I told myself that this was my vacation and I could do what I wanted, but I didn't want my dad to worry about me during his wedding celebration. I knew I needed to called my dad. At the very least, I needed to tell him that Ethan wasn't coming. I looked at the time. He and Beatrice were already in the Dominican Republic getting everything set up for the wedding. They were an hour later than my time, so I decided to put it off until the next day.

The next morning, I had my appointment with Dr. Pereira. I made sure I scheduled an appointment before my dad's wedding. I was glad I did so; with everything happening I wanted to get my head straight. When I got to my appointment, I explained everything to Dr. Pereira. I started by talking through my realization on why I was still holding on to Trevor. I told her about the voicemail I left him, and his multiple attempts to contact me since. We then listened to his voicemails together. The first voicemail was him asking me to call him back. The second one said I can text if I don't want to talk. The last one he left was begging me to call him back.

"Lily, please talk to me. Blocking you was a fucked-up way to end things but I thought that's what you wanted. I fucked up so many times, I just wanted to do what you wanted. I want you to be happy and if that's not with me, I accept that. I need to speak to you. Give me a chance to fix what I broke." His voice breaking brought tears to my eyes that I blinked away. "Please call me. Please Lilypad. I just... I don't believe I was just a pedestal for you Lily. I loved you. I thought you loved me too. When did that change?" He choked up and the voicemail ended.

Dr. Pereira looked concerned at how desperate he sounded in the messages. "Lily, do you have any concerns about your or his safety-"

"No!" I cut her off before she could even go down that line of thinking. "He's not going to hurt himself. He would never hurt me... Physically." I was going to say intentionally, but I couldn't even form my lips to state that lie. "He's as hurt as I was when he cut me off. I haven't blocked him, but I don't know if talking to him will help him either. I don't know if I should reach out to him."

"He is not your responsibility Lily. Your wants and needs have to come first." She directed me.

"I know, but I can't just forget the fact that he was there for me when I was broken. I feel like I owe it to him to be there as well."

"Him allowing you to use him as a crutch: did that help or hinder you?" She questioned me.

"I know it hindered me. I see that now. I wish I could make him understand."

"The only thing you owe him is the truth. You gave him your truth already. There's nothing more you can do. The rest is up to him."

I nodded, bleakly.

"How do you feel now that you let Trevor go?"

"Better than I ever have. It was like... A fucking weight I didn't realize I was carrying lifted off of me. I haven't had to remind myself of my affirmations because I am strong. I am confident. I am worthy. I am good enough. I feel like... Myself. Finally. " I answered truthfully.

"The most valuable relationship you will have is the one with yourself. Always remember that. You have to love and take care of yourself before you can do the same for anyone else." She encouraged me.

"I know. That's the only regret I have: How I hurt people I loved while I figured that out." I confessed, thinking about my past actions and how they strained all my relationships: with my family, my friends, my exes.

"I promise you, now that you love and accept yourself, everything else will come together."

I smiled through the tears that formed in my eyes. "Why couldn't you tell me that like last year? I've been driving myself crazy wondering why I'm so self-destructive. You could have just asked me if I loved myself?" I said, only halfway joking as I dabbed my tears away.

"There were other factors we had to work on first that were inhibiting you from loving yourself unconditionally." I nodded in agreement and Dr. Pereira gave me a warm smile. "Let's be honest, when have you ever taken what I said at face value?"

"Yeah, never. I am a show me kinda girl." I chuckled. "I always have to see it for myself."

"And do you see it?"

"Crystal clear." I smiled.



I went to work, feeling energized, refreshed and excited to finish the day so I can officially start my vacation. Sammy called me back on my way to work, and we briefly caught up. I told her about my break up with Ethan, she told me about the break with Corey. She really wasn't excited about the single celebration either, but we both agreed to suck it up for Amber's sake. She told me it might be easier to suck it up if I brought back some white Hennessy from the Dominican Republic. I laughed and told her I would bring back two: one as a souvenir for her and a party favor for everyone. She told me to have fun on my vacation and I told her I would see her soon. When I got to work, I saw that Monica left me a cute bag with a note: "Have a great vacation. Stay protected." Inside the bag, there was sunscreen, sunglasses and condoms. I laughed and texted her right away.

Me: Really girl? Condoms? My boss could have looked in this bag 😂😂😂

Monica: Dr. Fahri knows better! Have a great time and hit me up when you get back. It's been too long.

Me: Will do! In fact, when I get back my friends are throwing a joint single celebration since we haven't all been single in years. It's going to be super fun and depressing and you're invited!

Monica: lol. Y'all do the absolute most... but I'll be there 💃💃💃


On my lunch break at work, I gave my dad a call before it got too late. He answered and after I asked him how he was doing, I broke the news to him.

"I needed to tell you I will be coming to the wedding alone." I revealed.

“Is Ethan unable to make it?’ My dad asked.

I practiced excuses all week for this line of questioning: Last minute work crisis. Family obligation. And, my personal favorite, me wanting family only time. What came out instead was the truth. “We broke up. About 2 weeks ago.”

“Can I ask you what happened?” While I thought about how much I wanted to share he continued. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to-”

“No. It’s ok. I guess long story short, I wasn’t ready for a relationship and he wasn’t willing to go backwards with me.”

“Go backwards?”

“Yeah, go back to just dating instead of being in a relationship.”

He was silent for a moment before asking, “Why would you ask for that?”

"I care about Ethan, but I'm just learning how to love and accept myself. I finally think I’m there, but I'm not willing to commit with someone until I know for sure. He didn't want to..." I stopped as I rethought what I was going to say. "No, he shouldn’t have to compromise his needs and wants. I don't want him to have to do that to be with me.” I admitted, not only to my dad, but to myself.

"I understand."

"So yeah, I'm coming alone and I know we previously talked about these excursions I want to go on. I wanted to ask if you would feel comfortable with me going by myself?"

"You're asking my permission?" My dad asked.

"I don't want to go if you are going to be worried. It's your wedding and if you feel uncomfortable with me going alone, I will see if Cam or Benjamin wants them." I explained.

"Send me the information on the excursions and we'll talk once you arrive." My dad replied.

I smiled to myself, thinking it was a smart way to hedge his bet. He could say no once I was in the Dominican Republic and it would be too late for me to do anything about it.

"Sounds good." I folded, knowing that know matter what, my trip and the wedding was going to be amazing. I figured the safest bet I could make was on myself, so I recommitted to focusing on me. I planned to spend my vacation not only relaxing but figuring out what I wanted. Not just in a relationship, but in my career and in my life in general. When I got home, I finished getting ready for my trip. I doubled check everything 3 times before I called it a night. As I got ready for bed, I received a text from Ethan.

Ethan: Do you and Justine need a ride to the airport tomorrow? 

Receiving his text offering me a ride to the airport instead of accompanying me to the DR stirred up some hurt feelings, but all the feelings of regret were gone. I knew I made the best decision in the long run for myself and I couldn't fault him for doing the same. It just meant we both had to move forward. Hopefully as friends as we promised.

Me: No, I'm leaving obnoxiously early so I just scheduled an Uber. Thank you though.

Ethan: No worries. Have a safe trip.

I wanted to text him back about my anxiety flying out of the country with Justine and my choice to let my dad decide about the excursions. For the time being, at least for me, the feelings I did still have for him made me second guess how I should respond. I decided to follow his lead and keep things friendly, but closed ended.

Me: Thank you Ethan.

He didn't respond and it sucked to end our conversation so abruptly and with nothing really said, but I also knew I would weather through it. We always did no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it got. It would all be worth it to have his friendship.









****Ok, so update on the blog. I am so sorry about the lack of posts, but the good news is that we are coming to an end. More specifically, 2 more post. The next one will be super long and I am in the process of editing it, so it will be posted no later than Wednesday. The last post will be uploaded June 15th. It will be the way I always imagined the blog ended: with Lily riding off into the sunset. With that being said, I originally always wanted to take over with another character. That way I could still keep up with Lily but start fresh with someone new. While I would love to do that, I can't commit to a writing schedule and I don't want to put that pressure on myself, or keep you guys waiting indefinitely for new posts.

I say all this to ask for opinions for a follow up after the last post. Not everything is going to be wrapped up in the last post because while it will be what I imagined, without a second blog there will be loose ends. While I still like the idea of different perspectives in the present day, I am only promising one: Lily's, of course! My question to you all is shall I just do a flash forward to present day (or present day like, because present day kinda sucks ass right now) or would you prefer a flash back series (Go back to Auld Lang Syne for examples) to show how her happily ever after played out.


Let me know your thoughts, and as always thank you for reading and staying with me on this longer than expected journey. Please stay safe and take care of yourself and your families.****