Masterpiece

"I still fall on my face sometimes and I
Can't color inside the lines 'cause
I'm perfectly incomplete
I'm still working on my masterpiece and I
I wanna hang with the greatest gotta
Way to go, but it's worth the wait, no
You haven't seen the best of me
I'm still working on my masterpiece and I
Still workin' on my masterpiece" Masterpiece by Jessie J

"Lily!" Monica waved at me as Sammy, Amanda and I searched for their table in the back. I waved back before heading over. Staci had already made it and was chatting to a girl sitting next to Monica.

Monica introduced her sister Deanna, and two of her friends Tori and Michelle.

"Happy Zaddy day!" Deanna greeted us.

"Zaddy?" I asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"That's right. All the guys with kids should be at home with them, leaving only zaddys at the club." Monica explained. "I'm playing your wing women to find you one." She said, scooping out the lounge.

I laughed. "I don't need a wing women. Amanda?" I turned to her, offering her Monica's services.

"I'm her wing woman." Sammy grabbed her arm. "I already have Alvarez on the way."

I looked at Staci. "Daniel is picking me up in a few hours." She smiled.

"Tori's got a boyfriend, Michelle has too many men, and my sister is a lost cause so you get my expertise." Monica said as I sat beside her.

"I have a boyfriend, so I have to decline." I admitted to her. When Sammy and Staci turned to me, surprise all over there face, I took a deep breath.

"Ethan and I are dating. We made it official last weekend." I declared.

"I should have known you liked him! You got way too pressed when I said he was fine." Staci laughed.

"Yeah, I like him. He likes me. We're together now. Say whatever you want to say now because this is the last time I'm gonna hear any shit about us." I said, warily.

"Um... Congratulations." Monica said, perplexed as she looked between us. "Is there a reason we shouldn't like him?"

"I don't think so, but let's see." I said, looking at Sammy specifically.

She put her hands up in mock surrender. "I have nothing bad to say about Ethan. If you like it, I love it."

"Thank you." I nodded, gratefully.

"What about Trevor?" Amanda spoke up, meekly.

I stiffened. "What about him?"

"He wants you ba-" Amanda started.

I stopped her. "He just wants to be friends again."

Sammy and Amanda shared a look. "Have you told him about Ethan?" Sammy continued.

"I just told you. I told my brother and my dad this weekend. I tell him next time I speak to him." I defended myself.

"Ok." Sammy said.

Pop Lock and Drop It came on and Deanna did a little dance. "This is my song!" She cheered with a grin.

"Shot!!!" Monica, Tori and Michelle yelled grabbing a bottle of vodka.

"Wait? What?" Staci laughed.

"Anytime someone comments on the music, we have to take a shot." Monica explained.

"Ok..." I trailed off, thinking how hard could it be to not mention the music.

"It's hip hop dance party. Believe me, you'll comment." Tori promised me, reading my mind.

She was right. The DJ played new and classic hip hop dance songs. Monica declared Juvenile's Back that Azz as her inner hoe song and we all took another shot before getting up dancing to it. I was dancing with Monica and Sammy when Alvarez and Richard showed up.

Richard grinned while recording us with his phone. "Is that really your dad's jersey Lily?"

"Yeah." I said.

"So you're up here twerking in your dad's jersey on Father's day?" He grinned.

"Yep, so you better not post that online." I smiled at him, dancing to the ground before dancing back up.

"This is live. Make your daddy proud!" Richard laughed. I made a move to snatch his phone away, but he ducked, running around the table. Sammy cut him off and grabbed his phone from him. She sat down with Richard's phone and he sat beside her, a sheepish smile on his face.

"I will never put you on live without your consent again." He said, apologetically. "Can I get my phone back?"

"Hell no. Let's see what else you've been up to." Sammy grinned at him.

"Nothing." He laughed at her as they looked over his phone.

I turned away from them and watched Alvarez and Amanda. They were huddled up too, talking over the menu.

"You wanna invite Ethan?" Monica asked as she sat next to me.

I frowned up as I thought about the earlier scene with Megan and EJ. "He's a dad so he's spending time with his son and his son's mom."

"You hate his kid!" Her friend Michelle gasped at me.

"No. His son is awesome. We hang out all the time." I shook my head vehemently.

"So you hate his baby momma?" Tori guessed.

"No, although I think she doesn't like me." I said before I told them what happened this morning.

"So she didn't know you two were dating, but you are already hanging out with her son?" Deanna jumped in.

"No. I mean yes, but I knew EJ before I even knew Ethan. I used to babysit him for her." I explained.

"What?" Monica gasped.

"No. Not like that!!!" I interjected.

"Please explain, because this is sounding like a bad porno." Deanna smirked.

Flustered, I detailed how I came into EJ's and Ethan's life through Megan and how Ethan and I recently decided to date. 

"He already told his friends about us, but apparently not Megan and definitely not EJ. I don't get why it's a big deal to tell them." I finished.

"Because you're not a parent." Deanna said bluntly.

I was taken aback, and Monica sent her a look.

"Neither are you, so hush." Deanna pointed at her before turning to me. "Telling his friends is a lot different than telling his family, especially his kid. I don't even introduce my kids to the man I'm dating until I'm sure he's going to be a permanent part of my life. Y'all only been dating a week."

I turned to Staci for confirmation and she nodded. "Cherish hasn't meet any guy that I dated." She started. "I know it's different because you already have a relationship with EJ, but your relationship with him is going to change."

"How?" I pouted.

"From his babysitter to potential stepmom." Deanna scoffed.

"Shut up Deanna." Monica glared at her. Deanna grabbed her drink and sipped on it, rolling her eyes.

"You won't just be his friend, but his dad's girlfriend. Think about it." Staci pointed out, gently.

"Fuck." I said, grabbing my drink and rubbing my temples.

"Just give it some time and follow Ethan's lead on this one." Staci comforted me. "And get his key back from her. My ex doesn't have a key to my place." Staci said with a teasing smile.

I nodded and downed my drink before pulling out my phone. I wanted to text Ethan, but I didn't want to intrude on his father's day. I focused on my friends and dancing and drinking instead. We challenged each other on difference dances as we took shots. I did the jerk, the Dougie and Sammy and I did the Juju dance on Richard's Snapchat.

When the dance floor started spinning as I did the ChaCha slide, I decided to call it a night. Or day considering it was only 6pm. On my Uber drive home, Trevor tried to video call me. I ignored it, saying I would talk to him when I was sober. When I got home, I fed Justine and collapsed in bed, still fully dressed.

When my phone beeped I grabbed it, thinking it might be Ethan. It was Trevor: he sent me a picture of him with a big, beautiful dog. I video called him back right away.

"Wow. You look awful. Too much turning up for daddy?" Trevor asked me, with a grin.

"Shut up!" I exclaimed pulling my hair back. "You got a dog?"

"I got a dog." He confirmed, with a smile as he turned the phone around. I got a quick glimpse at his apartment before it focused on the dog.

"Ohmygosh. He's adorable! Is it a he? What is he? How'd you get him?"

"It's a he. He's a border collie lab mix. His name is Thor-"

"Thor?" I laughed.

"Yes. Chris's son is a hardcore Avenger fan. He always makes me the bad guy when we play action figures."

"Sounds about right." I laughed.

"Anyway..." He smiled before continuing, "Chris got a dog for his son and turns out his daughter is severely allergic. I took him so his son can still see him and play with him from time to time."

"And you have someone to cuddle with." I joked.

"He's not a big cuddler. He won't even get in my bed. Chris had him in training for weeks before he brought him home. Watch this. Lay down.... Stay... Sit....Watch me... Good boy." Trevor commanded and complimented him before petting him and giving him a treat.

"He's too cute." I gushed as Thor sat at Trevor's feet. "And laid back. The complete opposite of Justine."

"I can't wait to get the two of them together. It should definitely be interesting."

"Aww, weren't you in Wichita Falls today? You should have swung by on your way back to Austin."

"I wasn't in Wichita Falls this weekend."

"You didn't go to your dad's grave with your mom?"

"No. You know why I stopped doing that." He said matter of factly.

I sighed. "You need to get over it."

"Get over it?' He asked, his face marred with anger.

"Forgive her." I cleaned up, tiredly.

"I have. Forgive and forget. That's what I'm doing." He said.

"That's your mom Trevor. You can't forget her."

"So far so good. My feelings haven't changed because we're not together. I can't believe you're defending her."

"I'm not defending her. I'm defending you. Sometimes people just do the best they can. You cutting her off doesn't change anything but you not having a relationship with her. Can you live with that?"

"Yeah I can. If that's her best, I rather not have a relationship with her."

I decided to let it go. I thought about Amanda questioning me if I told him about Ethan. I should have but it was awkward between us and I was exhausted. I begged off the phone instead to get some sleep. He told me to take some Tylenol, drink some water and wished me a good night. I was too tired to do anything but place my phone on my charger and I passed out.

I woke up at 5am the next morning, wincing at my phone as I checked the time, my head throbbing.  I had a missed call and a few texts from Ethan. I text him back that I was up and to call me when he was up too. I was still laying in bed when my phone rang. It was Ethan so I picked it up.

"Can I come over so I can make you breakfast?" He asked.

"You don't have to. We can just talk." I said, the thought of getting out of bed to let him in daunting.

"I want to see you." He said simply.

"Sure." I grumbled, sitting up.

"Be there in 20 minutes."

I rolled out of bed and into the shower, hoping the hot water would help me feel better. I changed into sweatpants and a shirt and went into the kitchen. I brewed some coffee, dry swallowed 2 Tylenol before letting Justine outside. My headache had lessened considerably as I got Justine breakfast and the door bell rang.

"Hey." I squinted at the sun as I let Ethan in.

"Good morning." He said, walking in with an identical box that EJ carried to his house the previous morning. He was already dressed, looking sharp in a black suit.

"More like shitty morning." I said, despite being intrigued by the box. "Did you bring me EJ's half a scone?"

"I got you two of your own. I prefer the cinnamon, but peach is a favorite." He told me as he walked to the kitchen. "I figured it'll be good with breakfast."

"I don't have much food. I normally grocery shop today." I warned as he sat the box down on the kitchen table and removed his suit jacket. I took it from him to hang in my hallway closet.

"You have eggs and cheese. How about an omelet with the scone?" He offered.

"Or a scone before the omelet." I said, sitting at the table and ripping open the box. The smell of sweet bread instantly made me feel better and I reached for the peach one first. It was incredible- light and tender with a delicious almond glaze. I normally didn't like scones but the peaches burst with flavor and made it more moist than scones I had in the past.

"Rough night?" He asked me, getting two coffee mugs from my cupboard.

"Rough day. Sunday Funday." I said over a mouthful of scone. I already had half of it gone.

"I never understood that concept. Technically, Sunday is still a work night. Why go out and drink, even if it's in the day?" He pondered, handing me my cup of coffee.

"Now you tell me after I fell into the trap." I said, sarcastically. "Can you pass me some cream? In the door." I instructed him.

He did and I thanked him.

"I don't have half and half, but there's whole milk." I told him.

"Thanks." He said, cracking eggs into a bowl. I know I should have offered to help, but the coffee and scone was making me feel better and clearer: I needed to talk to him while my mind was still clear.

"Did you have to tell Megan about us yesterday?" I asked, putting the other scone away.

"She already knew about us." He said, beating eggs.

"Oh. She seemed surprised to see me at your house."

"We established rules for dating when we broke up to protect EJ. We decided to keep our dating life separate from him until we were in a committed relationship for at least 3 months." Ethan explained, turning away from me and to the stove to cook the eggs.

"How separate?" I asked, thinking about how he did not want to be affectionate in front of EJ.

"Completely separate. No meeting him. No home visits whether he's there or not. No contact with him at all." Ethan answered.

"Oh wow. We broke all those rules. A lot." I sighed, rubbing my temples as my headache came back.

No wonder Megan looked so pissed. 

"I know but that rule is not relevant to us because you're already a part of EJ's life. I'll convince Megan the same." He said as he flipped the eggs and added cheese.

"So in the meantime, do we need to just... follow the rules?" I asked, my appetite gone thinking about missing EJ's games and his birthday party and not being able to see him for 3 months.

"No. I'll handle it." He said, confidently as he grabbed a plate from my cabinet.

I waited until he was placing the omelet in front of me to look him in the eyes. "Ok. Keep me updated. Let me know what you need from me, ok?"

"Always." He said, leaning in for a chaise kiss on my lips. I deepened the kiss, his mouth all minty and fresh. I pulled back abruptly.

"What's wrong?" He asked, looking me over, concerned.

"Um, nothing. Do I have gross coffee breath?" I asked.

"Not at all. You taste like peaches and cream." He complimented me.

I giggled. "That's Staci's inner hoe songs"

"Staci's inner hoe song?" He asked confused.

"Yep. It's a song that makes your inner hoe come out."

"Do you have one?" he smirked at me.

"I have like 7." I smiled as I pulled him in for a kiss.

"What are they?" he asked against my lips.

"I'm not telling." I said, kissing him.

We spent 5 minutes making out in the kitchen until he pulled away to let me eat. We shared the omelet and the rest of the scones before he had to head into work. I got up and finished my laundry before I went to work as well.

Although I had a rough morning, the rest of the week went by smoothly. Peyton invited me, Amber, Sammy and Jordan to a girls night in at Rocky's house on Friday. I hadn't spoke to Rocky or Amber since I told them about Ethan, but I agreed to go figuring it'll be good to see them both and clear the air.

EJ was spending his week out of school with his grandparents until his basketball camp started next week, so Ethan and I were able to go on a date Wednesday night. Since he mentioned his grandfather told him he was a good drawer when he was younger, I decided to take him to art studio that had  instructor led BYOB classes. It was my first time doing anything outside of art class in school and I was super excited. At the studio, after 2 small plastic cups of Pinot Grigio and one sorry attempt at recreating a bouquet of summer flowers, my excitement waned.

"I suck at this." I complained to Ethan, eying his perfect painting. He looked over at mine and gave me a little smile. "I wasn't going to say anything but-"

"Ethan!" I cut him off, narrowing my eyes at him.

"What? I was just agreeing with you."

"That I suck?" I said, in faux outrage.

Our instructor, Holly, joined our conversation as she made her round around the room. "I have so many people that come in, underestimating themselves and make the most wonderful paintings."

"No. She overestimated herself and couldn't even paint a straight line." Ethan commented as Holly took in my poor painting.

I took my brush and made a white line over his flower arrangement.

"Is that straight enough for you?" I taunted him. He chuckled and Holly frowned at me as she left.

I gave up on my painting and poured my third glass of wine. I watched him as he turned the white streak into a lily in the arrangement.

"Aww, is that for me?" I smiled, pleased.

"No. It's because of you. I had to incorporate your vandalism somehow."

"Vandalism is a little extreme." I laughed. "You could have turned it into anything, but you choose a lily. My name."

"It couldn't be anything. It had to be a white flower."

"White roses, tulips..."

"Daisies, carnations, baby's breath." The woman who was clearly ease-dropping next to us listed with a smile.

"Out of all the white flowers, you choose a lily. Why is that?" I teased, lightly.

"Because your constantly on my mind." Ethan said, looking over at me. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but it took it as a compliment.

"You should call it 'Lily: The prettiest flower of the bunch'." I said dreamy, finishing my wine.

"You should finish your painting."

"Nah, I'm a true artist! Instructions stifle my creativity. I must freestyle. I can't do this paint by number, step by step bullshit." I declared, as Holly walked by, shooting me a look. Ethan gave her an apologetic smile and the lady next to me and I giggled.

"Do you want to pick up a sandwich at Subway? Be around your type of people?" Ethan asked as we left with our paintings.

"Huh?" I asked, confused.

"Sandwich artists. You can freestyle with them."

"Shut up Ethan!" I laughed, grabbing his arm.

We did end up going to Subway and I showcased my artistic abilities in crafting a delicious Subway melt. Had to admit, the sandwich I created was much better than my painting. When Ethan dropped me home, I grabbed his painting from the backseat instead of my own. He walked me to the door and I turned the painting around so he wouldn't notice it was his. I sat it down to give him a kiss goodnight. We held each other close, kissing each other hungrily.

"You wanna come inside?" I asked him between kisses.

"I can't."

"Yes you can. 10 minutes."

"We spent 10 minutes out here already."

"5?" I bargained. When he pulled away I sighed. "Fine. 30 minutes."

"You're horrible at negotiations."

I ran my hands up his chest. "I know. Come inside and teach me." I brushed my lips against his, seductively.

"Lily..." He moaned and I grinned against his mouth, feeling sexy and powerful. I gave him one last kiss before I pulled away instead of testing his resolve.

"Alright. Goodnight Ethan." I said unlocking my door.

"Goodnight. Enjoy 'Lily: The prettiest flower of the bunch'." He smiled at me.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I smiled back, grabbing his painting before I went inside. I took the painting upstairs to my study where the print he given me hung on the wall. I put the painting up before I went downstairs to get ready for bed.

Friday night, I headed to Rocky's house after I went home, fed Justine and changed. I was the last to arrive and Peyton let me in, leading me into the den. She had 4 different station set up: Pedicures, manicures, facials and mediation.

"Hey everyone." I smiled and waved at the girls. Everyone was wearing robs and were split up among the stations. I changed into a rob as well and grabbed a glass of champagne and joined Rocky and Peyton at the facial station. I gave Rocky a smile before looking over the 3 different facial mask.

"What is all this?" I asked, stirring the brown colored goop.

"Ace's poop." Rocky deadpanned. I threw down the brush immediately.

"It's avocado and cocoa for moisturizing, honey and yeast for acne, and banana for sensitive skin." Peyton explained with a smile as Rocky hid her smile.

"Nice Rocky." I grinned at her as I grabbed the honey and yeast mask. I painted it on my face carefully.

"I was telling everyone we need to do a group outing with the men folk next time." Jordan filled me in.

"Yeah?" I said, sipping my champagne.

"I know it's pretty new with Uriel-" Jordan started.

"I'm not seeing Uriel, but I'll definitely invite Ethan. We're dating now." I corrected her.

"Really? That's Awesome!" Jordan gushed. "So it'll be you and Ethan, me and Blake, Rocky and Forrest, Sammy and Corey, Peyton and Chris, Amber and Will-"

I looked over at Rocky and she heaved a heavy sigh. "Forrest and I aren't seeing each other anymore." Rocky confessed.

"What? Blake thought something was up with Forrest. When did you break up?" Jordan gasped.

"When he went to Shreveport." Rocky confirmed. I shook my head, but keep my mouth shut.

"Did you want to say something Lily?" Rocky asked me, challengingly.

"Absolutely not. In fact, I want to say sorry to you and anyone else who's relationship I interfered with. I'm now realizing even if my intentions were good, it was none of my business. So I apologize and will only offer my support from now on." I promised.

"Real subtle Lily." Rocky snorted, getting up to go to her bedroom. I got up to follow her, but Peyton waved me off. I  thought about following her anyway, but I sat back down. I had no idea what was going on between Rocky and me, but I couldn't solve it unless she came to me to address it. Until then, I couldn't worry about it.

"You're right Lily. I'm sorry." Amber spoke up. "I wish you and Ethan the best. And since Will and Ethan are besties, we should double date."

"Hey, don't forget the group date!" Jordan blurted.

"That too." Amber laughed.

They began to discuss different date options as I washes my face. Rocky eventually came back with Ace and I focused on him and the girls.

As we began to head out, Jordan pulled me aside and asked if we could get together. I told her Staci, her daughter Cherish and I were going shopping at the boutique where Bianca's clothes were finally hitting the shelves on Saturday. She agreed to come and we all meet up the following morning.

"Blake felt Forrest wasn't telling him everything." Jordan sighed when I explained what I knew regarding the break up.

"Yeah, I know. It just sucks because Forrest is basically cutting me off and Rocky is lashing out at me. It's hard but I have to stay out of it. People meddling in my relationship made me see how annoying and frustrating it is when I do it." I explained.

"I hear you. I completely understand." Jordan nodded. "So tell me about Ethan!"

As we picked out and tried on clothes, I told her we made it official 2 weeks ago so it was brand new but I enjoyed being around him so much. I also told Staci about Megan and Ethan's 3 month rule and how Ethan was trying to get Megan to exclude me from it.

"I wouldn't. Especially since he already broke the rule." Staci said.

"I get that, but if the rule is to protect EJ, I'm already in his life. What's the point of making me wait 3 months?"

"To be petty. Which, I am." Staci grinned.

I laughed at her and we checked out and went our separate ways. I called Bianca, raving over the clothes and she immediately chastised me, saying she could have sent whatever I wanted.

"Girl, you have to make sells so they will keep ordering your clothes. Don't give freebies to anyone!" I ordered her.

"Not even family?" she chuckled

"Especially not family! They'll bleed you dry first! But don't send any to celebrities either. I never understood that- they have the money to buy it!"

"What did you buy?"

I gave her a run down of everything, including a black skort romper that looked even better on me than the hanger.

"I'm totally thinking where I can get Ethan to take me so I can wear that romper-" I plotted, excitedly.

"Ethan? He would be taking you out why?" she asked, knowingly.

"Because he's my boyfriend, so unless he wants me to get another one, he should stick close to me in that romper." I revealed, playfully.

"I'm so sick of you I swear! How are you going to have a boyfriend and I didn't even know you were dating him?"

"Because I wanted to figure things out for myself first. I did, and we're together. Now I'm sharing with you." I explained.

"The only reason I'm not upset is at least I somewhat know him and you are giving me all the details."

I detailed all the dates we've been on so far. "I know he comes off as cold or taciturn, but he's really not. He's just reserved until he gets to know you and then he's so sweet and kind and funny. You'll see it."

"I don't have to see it if he has you gushing like that. It's kinda gross Lily."

"Aw, shut up. Nobody's gushing." I laughed before she had to go and we said our goodbyes.

That afternoon, I asked Ethan if Megan changed her mind about the 3 month rule, and he said she would. I offered to stay home or to talk to Megan to assure her our relationship wouldn't effect EJ in any way, but he shut both down, reminding me that he would handle it.

I headed to EJ's basketball game, separately from Ethan and EJ, even though Ethan offered to pick me up. I didn't want to rub it in that we were breaking the rules anymore than me being there would, so I tried to keep my distance. Ethan did no such thing, moving from his spot next to Megan and sitting next to me instead. He was wearing the hoodie I ordered for him and handed me mine too.

"You don't want to put it on?" Ethan asked me.

"No. It's kinda warm." I lied, seeing Megan watch us in my peripheral vision. Ethan put the hat on my head, and I turned to focus on the game and not him. EJ's team had a better game than last week. Ethan told me the coach clarified at practice the comments he made after the last game and urged the team to communicate with one another more. Apparently, the talk worked because they beat the other team, 44-37.

"We'll see how they look when they play a better team." Ethan cautioned when I mentioned how much better they played.

I told Ethan I had some errands to run so I could duck out before EJ was done with his post game meeting. I was in the parking lot, pulling my keys out of my purse when Megan approached me, saying she wanted to talk.

"You should really talk to Ethan about anything." I backed away, not wanting to be in the middle.

"You obviously don't know Ethan very well if you think you can talk to him once he thinks he's right about something." Megan spoke up, confidently.

I smarted at the notion that she knew him better than me. She knew him longer, but better was debatable. "You think you're right? How do you think EJ will feel if I drop of the face of the earth and come back as his dad's girlfriend?"

"Confused. You two are already complicated enough. I don't want that." Megan replied

I frowned up, confused myself. "What? So you don't want me to wait 3 months?"

"No. I want Ethan to admit he was wrong and get rid of the rules altogether."

My face must have shown my confusion, because she asked if we can grab coffee. I nodded and followed her out the parking lot. We met up at a Starbucks. We didn't even get a drink- just grabbed an empty seat on the patio.

"Dave and I went to college together. We actually dated before I got back together with Ethan. Dave was there for me throughout my whole pregnancy while Ethan was still in school. He went to more appointments than Ethan did. When Ethan and I broke up for good and I started dating Dave, Ethan came up with the 3 month rule. He was trying to control me with rules."

My lips formed a grim line, not liking how she was painting Ethan out to look. "It's not about controlling you. It's about protecting EJ." I argued.

"Dave and I were friends for a long time, just like you and Ethan were. It was never about protecting EJ, it was about controlling and punishing me. I went along with it and his other rules out of guilt" Megan stated.

Going down memory lane with my boyfriend's ex was something I felt very invasive about. I was starting to regret meeting up with her. "That may be your perspective, but it's not Ethan's. He thinks it was about protecting EJ. You said you can't talk to him once he thinks he's right; so what's the resolution?"

"It's not fair that he gets to pick and choose what rules he gets to follow and impose on me. Maybe you can help him realize he's wrong so he can get rid of all the little rules he put in place to control me- No, sorry, protect EJ." She finished.

"I'll talk to him." I said, standing up and leaving.

"Good luck." She called after me.

I drove home, Megan's words ringing in my ears. I didn't know what all transpired between them, I never got into the details of their relationship or break up with Ethan. The control and punishment comment was a little too close for comfort for me. He already admitted when he couldn't control his feelings for me, he decided not to date me so control was important to him. He definitely tried to cut EJ off from me when I left for California and when he thought I had an abortion. I couldn't help wondering if it was for EJ's best interest, or my punishment...

I couldn't let those thoughts fester in my head. I called Ethan as soon as I got home.

"Hey Lily."

"Hey, can you talk?"

"Yes. EJ is filming a video with Jayden so I have a good 30 minutes before I should check on them."

"Good, because I talked to Megan after the game." I admitted.

"You did what?" He asked, slowly.

"Megan approached me, wanting to talk about the 3 months rule." I began.

"I told you I was handling it. Why would you talk to her?" He questioned me.

"I told her to talk to you, but she just started talking about how she wanted to get rid of the rules altogether."

"You asked me what I needed from you. I told you to stay out of it. You have a bad habit of concerning yourself with things that have nothing to do with you." He cut me off, frustration evident in his voice.

"I tried to stay out of it, but you did involve me when you have me breaking rules that you established with her!" I argued, heatedly. "She's telling me how you placed these rules to control and punish her, and she has to follow them while you pick and choose which ones you want to follow. I can't even argue with her or defend you because that's what it looks like."

"You don't know the full truth." He said, sharply.

"Exactly, because you want me to stay out of it right? From now on, I am!" I declared.

"What does that mean?" He replied, coldly.

"It means I'll decide if I want to cut off EJ for 3 months to continue dating you or if I should just stop dating you. And just so you know, I'm leaning towards the latter." I threatened before hanging up the phone.

I knew when I said it I took it too far. I didn't want to stop dating him. I just wanted to work it out. Him pointing out my weakness of over-involving myself hit a sore spot and I snapped. I knew I needed to call back and apologize, but I decided to give myself some cool down time to collect my thoughts. I was doing just that, playing on my phone when my door bell rang. I got up, anxiously, thinking it was Ethan. Instead, it was a certified mail carrier. After I signed for the certified letter, I brought it inside. I opened it up curiously and read it.

Dear Lilian,

I received both of your letters, via email and postal mail. While I am the woman that gave birth to you, I am not your mother. I do not mean to sound cruel or unkind, but I made that decision many years ago, and it will be best for everyone involved if we kept it that way. I wish you and your family the best, but please do not reach out to me again.

Paula

I re-read the letter over and over again, before I sank to the floor.