Growing Pains

"And I guess the bad

Can get better

Gotta be wrong

Before it's right

Every happy phrase

Engraved in my mind

And I've always been a go-getter

There's truth

In every word I write

But still the growing pains, growing pains

They're keeping me up at night...

Eh eh, hey yeah, yeah, yeah

No band-aids for the growing pains" Growing Pains by Alessia Cara

Monday morning, I headed to my boxing class. I normally did my grocery shopping on Monday, but since I was feeling restless on Sunday, I went ahead and shopped after my regular chores were done. Since the restless feeling hadn't gone away, I hoped to knock it out with a boxing class. I arrived at the gym and saw my normal instructor had a class starting in 10 minutes.

I went in the class, headphones still in, blasting Redbone as I headed to my normal spot. I stopped in my tracks when I saw Dino. I never went to Monday class, so I didn't know if this was her normal day.  I knew for sure after the attitude she had towards me at my barbecue, being in her presence would not help me relax.

We made brief eye contact before I turned on my heels and left. Not exactly smooth, but with her dad being the instructor, I figured I needed to leave. I pulled out my phone, thinking it might be time to find another gym that offered boxing classes when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I whipped around and saw Dino.

She started talking, but I couldn't hear her until I pulled out my headphones.

"What?" I asked her.

"I was asking how loud do you have your music. I tried calling you." She informed me.

"Really loud. That's the only way you can appreciate classic rock." I replied, curious to why she was calling me. "What's up?"

"I'm sorry about my behavior at the barbecue. It was really uncalled for considering you've done nothing to me."

"I understand. I really do. I don't think I could be cool with my boyfriend's ex. Now that I know you feel that way, I'll keep my distance." I promised her.

"I tell you like I told Jake: how realistic is that considering you two share a godson?"

"Very. Believe me, he won't be the only ex I'd be avoiding at Ace's events. Right now, the arrangement is I stay for the first half, he gets the second. If that works for y'all, problem solved." I suggested, only half joking.

"No. You don't have to keep your distance. Maybe we won't be best friends, but we can be cordial."

"Ok." I nodded.

"Cordial enough to be sparring partners?" She suggested.

"Only one way to find out." I said before following her back to the class.

After a warm up and intense cardio, we paired off to spar. She let me go first, holding up focus pad as I went through the routine.  I threw a few jabs before Dino corrected my form. I suppressed my eye roll, did what she said and continued.

"So has Ace given you baby fever yet?" She asked me.

I smiled. "Kinda. Not a fever. Maybe more like an itch that is scratched when I hang around kids."

"You and Uriel would make a great looking super tall kid." She grinned at me.

My next jab was perfect. And hard. She put her hand down and took a step back.

"Sorry. You ok?" I asked her, genuinely concerned. I had no idea where that came from.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She said, putting the pads  back up. "Everything okay with you two?"

"Yeah. Of course. We literally just had our 3rd date so a little early to be thinking about kids." I huffed as I finished my reps. We switched and I took the pads as she put on her gloves.

"I thought about it with Jake pretty early. He claims he doesn't want kids, but seeing him around Ace, he has bigger baby fever than me." She informed me, as she began expertly hitting the pads, aggressively. "I think he always wanted kids; Cara just ruined the thought of it. She ruined a lot of things for him, but we're working it out."  

"That's great." I replied, holding the pads firmly as my palms started to sting from her jabs.

"The first time I mentioned moving into together, he completely shoot me down. Now, we're planning what we want our house to look like." She informed me.

"Good for you two. You should get a ring before a mortgage... and breeding." I said, smartly.

She narrowed her eyes at the breeding comment, but thankfully, Diego called us back together for the end of class. Dino invited me to grab a smoothie as we headed to the locker room, but I declined, making an excuse about having to get to work.

Since my workout worsen my mood, I went home to try to relax before work. I took a long shower and did my hair and make-up hoping it would help. It didn't. My day dragged by. I thought I was just having a bad case of the Mondays but Tuesday came and the feeling didn't go away.

I skipped boxing and went for a run with Justine. Afterward, I got dressed and cooked breakfast before I went to work. I greeted Dr. Clayton in the team lead office when I arrived at work.

"Morning." He said from behind the desk. Recently, he spent more time in the office than out on the floor. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but his team would come to me with problems or questions because I was more visible. I missed how we used to work together before he left in the evening.

"I think this letter is for you." He handed me a envelope that was address to "Lilac Harris". I opened it up and saw it was a letter from the Mavs Foundation.

"It's from the Mavs foundation. It must be about the donation I gave at the ball. Not sure how they got my name wrong." I supplied, as I read through the letter. In actuality, it informed me I won the Dallas Cowboys tickets and gave instructions on how I redeem the  tickets.

"Oh? You went to that? Did you see Dr. Fahri?"

"I went but I didn't see him. I really didn't stay long. Excuse me." I stepped outside with the tickets and pulled out my phone. I knew I didn't bid enough and only one person would put it under 'Lilac'. I called Uriel and he answered on the 3rd ring.

"To what do I owe the pleasure Lily?"

"Dallas Cowboy tickets arrived at my office, sent to Lilac Harris. Any idea where they came from?"

"The Mavs Ball."

"You know what I mean. Did you bid on them for me?"

"It's two tickets. I figured we would go together."

"But you don't like football. It's too much standing around remember?"

"I'll get through it."

"That's ok. I have a feeling I can convert you." I smiled.

"You can try. When can I see you again?"

I had the movie night with Ethan and EJ on Friday night and Jordan's and Blake's engagement party on Saturday.

"I'm free any day during the week and Sunday."

"Dinner tomorrow night?"

The thought of eating with him sounded like no fun so I declined. "I'm trying to stop eating so late."

"What about drinks?"

"I try not to drink on weekdays."

"Coffee?"

"I don't want to be up all night."

"I can help you with that."

I ignored his innuendo "No. No coffee."

"You give me a suggestion since your turning everything down."

"How about a movie? I'll see what's playing and text you the info."

"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow."

I looked up the movies on my lunch and found that Neighbors 2 came out. A comedy was definitely what I picked a movie theater in Plano to see what time it was playing. Once I got the details, I sent them to Uriel.

When I got home that night, I had to dig really deep in my closet to find the cat watermelon shirt that I stole from Trevor. It was the same one Seth Rogen wore in the first Neighbors movie and I instantly recognized it the first time Trevor wore it. He let me wear it once, but I never returned it, lying that I gave it back to him when he repeatedly asked about it.

On Wednesday, I packed the shirt and a pair of jeans in a bag. After work, I changed and put my hair up in a messy bun. I applied a red gloss on my lips and was done. I drove straight to the theater and bought the tickets. In the lobby, there was a cute cutout of Seth Rogan and Zac Efron. I was taking a selfie with it when Uriel called me. I ignored it as I attempted to get a good angle. I was puckering up to Zac Efron when I saw Uriel approaching. I took the picture quickly and put my phone away.

"Hey." I greeted him. He looked like he headed over right after work, in black slacks and a white dress shirt tucked in, flattering his slim tall frame.

"Sorry to interrupt you. Do you 3 need another minute?" He asked.

"I would need at least an hour with these two." I joked to no response. I forced a smile and walked over to him. "C'mon, let's go get in line for snacks."

"I thought you didn't eat this late."

"Popcorn is not eating; it's snaking." I said, leading him to the snack bar. While we stood in line, I posted the picture of me and the movie cutout with the caption: Best Movie Date Ever.

Once we neared the front of the line, I turned to Uriel to see what he was getting. He was staring at one of the attendant behind the counter who was grinning at my shirt. Once he looked up, he nodded at me.

"Cool t-shirt. That one was way better than this one."

"Thanks. The first ones usually are." I smiled.

He nodded in agreement before he helped the next customer.

I looked to Uriel again. "The sun is down. What are you going to eat?"

He looked over his shoulder. "Are you talking to me?"

"Yeah. Who else?"

"Your new friend."

I snorted. "My shirt is from the first Neighbors movie, that's why he commented on it. Did you see it?"

"No."

"Oh... I'm sure it won't matter. It's one of those stupid funny movies were plot is not super important. Popcorn has free refills on large. Wanna share?"

"We can't eat a large, unless you plan on making more friends."

I rolled my eyes and stepped up to the counter and ordered a large popcorn, large drink and M&Ms. Uriel ordered a bottle water and was short to the point of being rude. The guy taking and filling our order was the same one who complimented my shirt. I thanked him and gave him a smile before we left.

The theater was mostly empty considering it was a Wednesday night. There were 4 other groups. I found middle seats in the middle of the theatre, but Uriel nodded farther up.

We got settled and I poured my candy into the popcorn. I ignored his disapproving look as I tossed it lightly to mix the candy in. I munched contently and watched the previews. I couldn't wait for Seth Rogen's hilariousness and Zac Effron's hotness to entertain me. About 15 minutes into the movie, I was laughing uncontrollably and Uriel put his arm around my shoulder.

I looked over at him, but he didn't take his eyes off the screen. He wasn't laughing, but at least he was giving it a chance. I focused back on the screen. 5 minutes later, I thought he was reaching over to try popcorn, but his hand went to my thigh instead. I tensed, remembering how he seduced me last weekend. I stood up, moving a seat over and placing the popcorn between us.

"Lilac..."

I shushed him and continued to watch the movie, ignoring him. Halfway in, his phone vibrated loudly and he pulled it out. After he checked it, he got up and left the theater. He was gone a good 20 minutes. I felt both relief and pissed when he came back.  He walked back on the opposite aisle to sit right next to me. He got the message though and kept his hands to himself.

As soon as the movie was over, I stood up grabbing the half full popcorn container.

"I told you that was too much." He commented as we left.

"Yeah. You did. Everyone in your family good?"

"Yes."

"Fire at your condo?"

"No."

"Did you have to save a cat from a tree?"

"What are you talking about Lily?" He looked at me, obviously annoyed.

"Just trying to figure out why you left during the movie."

"It was a work call. I've been waiting for that call all week."

"It couldn't wait another hour?"

"No. Besides, you're the one that said plot was not important."

"Right. Ok." I said, throwing my popcorn away and walking towards the exit.

"Are you really upset?"

"No. Just confused to why you even agreed to see a movie with me if you weren't going to actually watch it with me."

"I did. You know I don't like these types of movies. I told you that last weekend."

"Ok. So your likes, wants and opinions are the only things that matter. Good to know." I glared at him.

"I'm not saying that."

"You don't have too; Your actions do." I said, stomping off.

"Lily, stop. It's just a movie. It's nothing to get upset about."

"Don't tell me how to feel." I hissed at him, stopping. "You're the one that wanted to spend more time with me. We haven't been spending any real time together. If you really don't want to, we should have stayed fuck buddies."

He just looked at me. He didn't disagree with me, he just watched like he was waiting for me to calm down. It pissed me off even more.

"Goodnight Uriel!" I exclaimed before stalking off. I got in my car and drove straight home. I was still seething by the time I got home. I cleaned my face, stripped off my jeans and bra and lay in bed.

I barely got any sleep I was so upset. I was trying to straighten out my feelings and figure out where they were coming from. Yes, Uriel was an ass, but I should be able to control my reaction better than that. I normally would have, but I've been out of it all week. I ran each morning, trying to shake off the funk I was in. I really needed my boxing class, but I didn't want to risk another Dino run in. I called Richard Thursday morning to see not only where he worked out, but if he would come with me to the engagement party.

"I have a date on Saturday." He declined.

"With who?"

"This girl I meet at my gym."

"Oh? Does your gym have boxing classes?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm not a class guy. What's up with my ex's gym?"

"Your ex's sister." I told him about Dino and her attitude concerning Jake. "The gym was my stress release and she was being all passive aggressive when she should be thanking me." I ranted.

"Thanking you?"

"Yeah. For breaking up with Jake and calling him on his bullshit. I made him the man she wants to marry and have babies with!" I argued. "Instead of being grateful, she lowkey rubbed in my face how happy they were like I give a shit."

"Kinda sounds like you do." He taunted me.

"I don't! I don't think about her or Jake. More power to them. Just don't come fuck up my gym time acting like I'm out here like Ray J telling people I hit it first!"

Richard cracked up laughing. "That song goes hard. Ray J is the GOAT."

"Bye Richard." I said, annoyed. 

"I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit it, I hit first!" He sang as I hung up. Any other time, I would have found the humor in the situation, but I had no humor.

On Friday, I woke up ready for my appointment with Dr. Pereira. I was eager to talk out my feelings so I would be in better spirits for my movie night with Ethan and EJ. I was excited to veg out in with the both of them with the stupid comedy that was Austin Powers. I didn't want to my mood to ruin it: It was the only bright spot in my shitty week. 

I told Dr. Pereira about how uneasy I was feeling. She asked me about my barbecue and seeing my family. I told her it was all positive: my extended family and friends got along great, meeting Noelle was positive. The only hiccup was telling my dad about reaching out to my mom, but that ended up fine.

"So talk about what's upsetting you." She prompted me.

I talked briefly about Mia and Dino, but I didn't spend much time on them as they were officially non-factors in my life. I did bring up my lost of boxing class as I thought that contributed how upset I was getting over little things.

"Describe the little things." She probed.

I detailed my most recent dates with Uriel: at my barbecue, the mavs ball and finally my meltdown at the movies.

"I don't care if it's just sex between us. I was perfectly fine with that arrangement. He was the one that said he wanted to get to know me better, outside of the bedroom. Then, he ignores me on dates."

I was so busy venting, I didn't even realize she put down her notepad and was watching me intently.

"How many times has that occurred?" Dr. Pereira asked me sternly.

"What part? Him ignoring me on dates? 2 out of the 3 we've been on. That's what I don't understand either. He makes no effort to get to know me; the only time he puts in any effort is to get me in bed." I responded.

She stood up and joined me on the couch. 

"I'm talking about what occurred when you went to his place after the ball: him coercing you into sex."

"I wasn't coerced." I denied, emphatically. 

"You told him you didn't want to have sex correct?"

"Right." I nodded. "We- I decided we could just make out. He didn't- force me. It just got out of hand but that's all."

"That's not all Lily. Any time during the evening, did you tell him you changed your mind?"

I shook my head. "I didn't have too. He seduced me into it."

"Did you every give him verbal consent?"

"I never told him to stop."

"Why didn't you? Why didn't you leave the moment he began to disrespect your wishes?"

I stiffened and crossed my arms. I didn't have an answer to that. I didn't know why.

"You acquiesced to having sex with him after you told him you didn't want to. At the very least, you set a simple boundary that he maliciously crossed-"

I stood up, struggling to breath. "I can't do this. I need to go."

She studied my face carefully. "We can stop for today. Sit back down for a moment. Once you catch your breath, you can go."

I sat back down, not talking or thinking. She talked me through my breathing until I was calm. 

"I want to see you next week if you're available." She mentioned to me as I gathered my things.

"Fine." I nodded.

"Just remember Lily: honesty, communication and respecting boundaries are the minimum in a relationship. If you continue to pursue any type of relationship with Uriel, make sure you're getting all three from him."

I nodded again quickly before I left.  I headed to work and focused on my job so I wouldn't have to think about Dr. Pereira's words. I was so out of it, when my phone rang at lunch, I picked it up without even looking at it.

"Hello?"

"You theft!" Trevor exclaimed. I was so surprised to hear his voice, I didn't even comprehend what he was saying.

"What?"

"You dirty lying theft!!! I've been looking for that Watermelon Cat shirt forever. I knew you never gave it back."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I

bought that shirt two weeks ago." I lied, thrilled for the distraction.

"Two weeks ago huh?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Online."

"What site?" He interrogated me.

"I don't remember. I searched and bought it."

"Ok. Send me a copy of the receipt and I'll leave you alone."

"I'm not going to send you my receipt. It has my person information on it."

"Black it out."

"I have no idea how to do that." I continued to lie.

"Fine. I know you know how to take pictures. Send me a picture of the back collar."

"Why?"

"I pulled off the tag."

"Dammit Trevor. How many times have I told you not to pull? You cut the tag!!!" I lectured him.

"That's not the point. I pulled the tag so the collar is tagless and a little stretched. Send me a picture of yours. If you bought it two weeks ago, it should be intact."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's in the dirty clothes and I'm at work."

"Ok. When you get home, send me a picture."

"No perv. How would your girlfriend feel about you asking me for pictures?" I threatened him.

"Probably the same way your boyfriend feels about you wearing my shirt."

"I don't have a boyfriend. Just fuck buddies." I snorted, bitterly.

"Fuck buddies?"

I took a deep breath, in disbelief I said that. "Yeah."

"Wow. Therapy must be really working for you huh?" He snided.

I froze, feeling shame, embarrassment then finally anger.

"Lilypad, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Fuck you Trevor." I said, before I hung up on him.

I seethed the rest of the day. My anger didn't lessen a bit by the time I got off work. When I got home, I grabbed his stupid shirt and put it in the wash. I put it on the quick cycle before I went through my closet. I pulled out every shirt, sweatshirt, and flannel I had of Trevor's.

After I put the shirt in the dryer, I collected everything I had that was still his. I held back tears as the memories came back to me as I boxed up all the dvds, shot glasses, hats, clothes and random shit I kept of his. When I pulled out the wedding planner that Rocky regifted to me that I filled with stupid ideas about my wedding to Trevor, the tears fell as I cried. A few tears were about Trevor, but most of them were about my therapy session with Dr. Pereira. Why would I allow anyone to disrespect me and my boundaries?

I heard my phone ringing over my cries. When I saw it was Ethan, I immediately remembered I was supposed to met him and EJ for movie night.

"Hey." I sniffled, feeling awful that my bullshit made me forget.

"What's wrong Lily?" He asked me, the concern evident in his voice.

"Nothing. I'm ok. Just a rough week" I took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, I can't make it tonight."

"Can I do anything for you?" He asked me.

"No. I'm just going to take some Tylenol and go to bed.  Please apologize to EJ for me?"

"Nothing to apologize for. Get some rest." He said, sincerely.

"I will. Thank you Ethan." I replied, graciously.

"Take care Lily."

After I got off the phone, I did exactly what I told Ethan. Two Tylenol PMs and 10 hours of sleep later, I woke up still feeling shitty. I saw Trevor sent me a text, which did nothing to improve my mood.

Trevor: I'm sorry Lily. I wasn't thinking when I said that. I don't think you need therapy-  You just need to know how amazing and beautiful you are. I know your 'dating' is none of my business, but I think you deserve more. I hate to see you settle for anything less. You deserve everything.

I wanted to text him back that sleeping with him on Halloween was what made me realize I really needed therapy. I was so desperate for love and affection, that I was willing to put up with anything. Apparently, I still was. I deleted my whole thread with him so I couldn't respond to his judgmental and condescending text.

I took a hot bath and soaked for a few hours. Ethan called me asking how I was doing. I told him I was much better, and if he still wanted to we could do a movie night after the party. He agreed and told me to text him when I was on the way. 

After I got out the tub, I called Rocky to see what she was wearing to the party, and was shocked to find out she wasn't going. She brought up Ace in a tone that suggested he didn't have a dad, grandparents, an aunt, uncle or anyone in town to babysit him for a few hours. I chopped it up to her being a new mom, something I couldn't understand. I called Forrest next.

"What are you wearing to the party?"

"A button down and jeans."

"Cool. Business casual. I can do that. Wanna go together?" I asked.

"I don't plan on staying long."

"Me neither." I scoffed.

"You introduced them. Technically, this whole evening is your fault. Are you sure you're going to leave early?"

"Why not? My part is done. You're gonna be a groomsman- a part of the wedding. You should have to stay there to the last guest leaves."

"I will fake a seizure and leave in an ambulance if that what Blake expects." Forrest plotted.

"No. Let me drive you, then we can just leave together." I schemed.

"Perfect."

I got dressed in a black floral sundress with a jean jacket on top. The party was being held at a barn in Fort Worth. An hour before the party started, I left to pick Forrest up. He was waiting for me, sitting on his porch with a beer. He finished it before tossing it in the trash. On the way there, I let the radio play top 40 hits. Neither one of us was in a talkative mood so it was the only sound the filled the car.

Once we got there, we both sucked it up and put happy smiles on our faces. The space was nice: open and decorated with blue and silver stars and twinkle lights. It fit the casual theme of the barn. Their engagement pictures were posted around the barn. 

"I let Blake have his Cowboys blue and silver because the wedding is all about what I want." Jordan whispered to me after I greeted her and she walked me to get a drink.

What started off as a forced smile in the beginning of the night became a genuine smile when I saw how happy Jordan was. She was glowing as she introduced me to her parents and future in laws. Everyone drank and munched on hors d'oeuvres and sweets and danced to country love songs. I was looking for Forrest after they announced the date to see if he was ready to go. I was stunned when I found him outside of the barn, talking to Rachel.

"Hi Lily. You look great." She said, friendly, like the last time I saw or talked to her she wasn't convinced I was trying to sleep with her fiancee. The fiancee she left at the alter, who was now dating my best friend. Her hair was short, a flattening mahogany bob that framed her face. She wore cream lien slacks and a matching sheer blouse. She looked great too, but I wasn't going to tell her that.

"Hey." I said, plainly before turning to Forrest. "Come find me when you're ready."

"Ok." He nodded.

I went inside and took a seat on an empty bench. I checked the time constantly while I waited for Forrest-not wanting to keep Ethan and EJ waiting and wondering what the hell Forrest and Rachel had to talk about. He finally joined me 30 mintues later.

"I'm ready."

After we said goodbye to Blake and Jordan, and they gifted us magnets that not only had their engagement photo, but their wedding date, we left. 

"What were y'all talking about?" I asked as soon as we got in the car.

"Honestly?" He eyed me.

"No. Lie." I said, sarcastically.

"You."

"Me? Why me?" I frowned up.

"She was saying how surprised she was we didn't end up together."

"Did you tell her she was bat shit crazy and that it was never like that between us and we told her that the whole fucking time?!?!" I exclaimed.

"Not like that, but yes." He chuckled.

"Good."

"I told her I wished I was attracted to you like that." He mentioned.

"What the fuck? Why would you say that?" I glared at him.

"We get along well, you love to eat, I love to eat. You love sports, I love sports. You want a family, I want a family-" he listed.

"Forrest, shut the fuck up! You're drunk and I swear I will tell Rocky everything you said." I threatened him.

"I'm not drunk. That's me being honest. If I was attracted to you, it would be easy. I always make it hard for myself. I fall for women who don't want to be with me." He said, leaning his head against the headrest.

I was silent for a moment, deciding whether I should speak up or stay out of it. Against my better judgment, I spoke. "She wants to be with you. It's an adjustment like you said. Give it time."

"I am. Rocky made it clear when we got together she was focusing on being a mom. I understood that, I assumed that meant Ace comes first. I didn't know that meant she wouldn't have time for me at all." He lamented.

I shook my head. "Talk to her and tell her how you feel."

"I tried to talk to her, I asked how I can be there for her more and she shuts me out." He shook his head sadly. "Rachel use to do the same thing." He said, ominously.

"Communication, respect and honesty is the least she should be giving you. I love Rocky and I can't imagine what she's going through, but if she's not giving you that, you need to reevaluate the relationship." I told him firmly.

He nodded but didn't respond. I sat there, feeling like a completely hypocrite for dispensing the same advice I had trouble taking. After I dropped him off, it was 8:30. I pulled out my phone and called Ethan, letting him know I was on my way.

I arrived at his place 20 minutes later. Ethan opened the door for me, looking me over from my top knot to my strappy sandal. "You look good. How was the party?"

"Country with finger foods and champagne punch. Totally not my style." I smiled at him.

"We have plenty of pizza and snacks." Ethan told me as he led me in the living room. I gasped, mouth wide open when I saw the living room decorated with brightly colored balloons around the room, peace sign table cloth on the coffee table and smiley face pillows on the couch.

"You decorated?" I asked him, surprised.

"I helped! Twice. Yesterday and today." EJ said, hopping up from the table of snacks to greet me.

"It looks great. I'm sorry I missed it yesterday." I told him with a hug.

"That's ok. Dad said you were feeling bad. Are you better?" EJ asked, looking up at me.

I nodded, smiling over at Ethan as he set the movie up. "All better now."

We sat down together to watch the movies and eat pizza. Ej loved them liked I predicted and rewound funny parts numerous times. Ethan was more amused by EJ and my antics of repeating back lines to each other and dancing during the songs and dance breaks than the movie. We made it through the first half of the 3rd movie before EJ fell asleep.

"If he goes to school talking like Austin Powers, I'm giving his teachers your number." Ethan warned me as he gathered the plates and cups.

"I have no problem with that. Who has a problem 'Groovy baby!'" I impersonated Austin Powers as I picked up the food we didn't eat.

"Most of his teachers prefer to be called Mr or Mrs, not baby." He pointed out, with a smirk. I handed him the pizza slices in a ziplock bag. "Thanks."

"No, thank you for having me."

"I'm glad you're feeling better. Is everything ok now?"

"It's a work in progress, but I'm working on it."

"That's half the battle, right?"

I sighed. "I hope so."

"Is this concerning work or your personal life?"

"Personal."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No. Definitely not. That's what therapy is for. Although, apparently, it's not working."

"Why do you say it's not working?"

"Someone may have alluded that it wasn't. Besides that, I guess I was hoping I would do therapy and be cured and I'm realizing this will be a constant struggle."

He looked thoughtful for a moment before he spoke. "A few years ago, I could barely have a straight forward conversation with you."

"Yeah. I think your direct quote was 'consistently inconsistent' and that I don't 'mean what I say.'" I air quoted.

"The consistency thing might have been me projecting, but back then you wouldn't tell me how you really felt or what you were thinking unless you were upset. You do that now without a second thought. Asking for help is something I struggle with; I think it's incredibly brave that you're going to therapy." He told me.

I nodded, taking in his words and seeing the truth in them. "Brave and not crazy?" I smiled up at him.

"Brave, definitely. I've seen your growth. Anyone who hasn't either doesn't pay attention or doesn't know you that well." He responded, staring down at me. We stared into each other eyes, and my chest tightened with need. I shuffled closer to him, wanting, needing him to hold and touch me. His gaze dipped to my lips, and I felt the desire coming off him. I waited, anxiously, for him to kiss me.

"Hey. Why didn't y'all wake me up? I missed the last movie." EJ came into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. Ethan took a step back from me.

"You were knocked out." Ethan told him. "Say goodnight to Lily and go on up to bed." Ethan instructed him.

"Are you sleeping over?"EJ asked me.

"No." I said, willing myself not to blush as I hugged him goodbye.

"Goodnight." EJ said.

"Goodnight. I'll see you soon." I promised.

After he went upstairs, I got ready to leave. I had no idea what would have  happened if EJ didn't wake up when he did. EJ was in the living room and the fact that I was still tempted to jump Ethan let me know I needed to leave while I regained control of myself. Ethan helped me put on my jacket before he walked me to my car. He drew me in for a hug before saying goodbye.

"Call me when you make it home." He said, holding me in his arms.

"I will." I said, enjoying his warm embrace before I pulled away. I flashed him a nervous smile as I looked into his eyes again. He immediately broke eye contact with me.

"Goodnight Lily."

"Night." I hurried into my car as he watched me take off from the curb. The second I got home, I called him.

"I made it." I advised him.

"Good."

"Did EJ go back to sleep already?"

"As soon as his head touched the pillow."

"Good." There was a brief moment of silence. When I got ready to say goodnight again, he spoke.

"Can I see you on Thursday?"

"I would love that." I answered quickly.

"I'll pick you up at 8?"

"Or I can meet you there earlier."

"You can, but I'd rather pick you up."

"Ok. My place at 8 then."

"Goovy baby."

I laughed, ignoring the memories and the fluttering in my stomach that him calling me baby provoked. "Goodnight Ethan."

"Goodnight Lily."

Sunday Morning, I got a text from Richard offering to take me to his gym. I agreed and we made plans to meet there in a hour. The gym offered a kicking boxing class during the week. Richard agreed to take it with me so I could try it on a friend pass before I committed to a membership. 

When I got home, I sat down and wrote two letters.

Uriel,

I changed my mind. I don't want to date or fuck you. I'm good.

Thanks,

LILY Harris

Trevor,

Taking your advice and making room for everything I deserve.

The Amazing and Beautiful,

Lily Harris

I stuck Uriel's letter in an envelope with the letter for the Cowboys Tickets. I pulled up my Uber to get his address and wrote it on the envelope. I put Trevor's letter in the his box. I wasn't even sure where Trevor lived, but I figured no matter what, Bilal would get it to him. I planned to mail it to his apartment.

I put the letter and the box in my car, making plans to drop them off at the post office first thing Monday morning. I went to take a shower, feeling better than I felt all week.

Is It You

"Is it you, knocking at my door?
Is it my imagination?
Is it you, I can't get off my mind
Is it you, you, you?
Is it you, sneaking around my heart?
Is it my imagination?
Is it you, I can't get off my mind?
You, you, you?" Is It You by Lee Ritenour


After our date, Ethan walked me to the door and gave me a hug goodnight. While our date didn't clarify my feelings like I had hoped, I was excited to spend more time with him.  I knew we got along fine, but I was curious to see if that translated into anything more. The next morning, I texted Uriel to see what time the benefit was on Saturday. Not only had he not text me the info yet, I wanted to see if I would have enough time to fit in a date with Ethan in the morning or afternoon.

He texted me back that the ball started at 7, but we needed to meet at his place around 6. When he called it a ball, I texted him back right away.

Me: Ball?

Uriel: Yes. It's the annual ball for the Maverick's Foundation. All the information is on the Instagram post I tagged you in.

Me: You tag 50 people in your posts. I never pay attention to them.

Uriel: If you did, you would know it is a ball.

I resisted the urge to make a smart comment back and pulled up my Instagram instead. Sure enough, Uriel tagged me in a post that was a promotion that read: Mavs Ball: A Blue Tie Affair. I read more and learned it was their premier fundraiser with a silent and live auction for the whole team and Maverick community. I sighed when I realized he wasn't exaggerating when he called it a ball. I immediately called Monica.

"What kind of dress are you wearing?" I asked her once she answered.

"Right now?" She asked.

"No! To the Mavs Ball. I didn't know it was such a big deal. I set out a cocktail dress."

"Oh... Is it formal?"

"Not at all. Dressy, but not formal."

"It's black tie. It should be formal." Monica educated me.

"Great. Now I have to go shopping and the mall opens up late."

"You can't go to the mall- the only thing they have is prom rejects. Why'd you wait so late?"

"Uriel invited me a couple of weeks ago. And he called it just a benefit, not a ball-"

"Uriel invited you? You two are going together?" She gasped, excitedly.

"Calm down... but yes, only because he thinks it's our third date."

"Third date?"

"Yeah, he thinks I'm going to sleep with him."

"Wait. I thought you were already sleeping with him."

"We stopped when we started dating."

"Good. Stick to it." She encouraged me. "Do you want me to go shopping for you? I can hit up a few of my favorite boutiques; pick out some options for you?" Monica offered.

"No, I have to try it on to make sure it fits right. I will take a list of the boutiques you go to."

"Ok. I will. My dress is gray, so stay away from grey dresses so it doesn't look like we coordinated in the pictures."

"Ok." I promised.

I quickly got dressed and headed to the first boutique Monica sent me. The display window of cut out gowns and puffy dresses should have told me not to go in, but I did. I spent an hour trying on dresses a pushy sales woman picked out for me. I was wearing a white feather gown and sent a picture of myself to Rocky.

She called me back right away.

"Are you marrying Colonel Sanders?"

I snorted "I wish. Fried chicken for life, but no. I'm shopping for this Mavs Ball on Saturday. It's a blue tie affair."

"What the hell is a blue tie affair?"

"It's a play on black tie . Mavs colors are blue and green. It's formal."

"Ok... Did you pick that dress out?"

"No. This lady working at this boutique did." I said, quietly. "I'm trapped."

"Get out of there and go to Nordstorm."

"But I don't want a prom reject."

"A prom reject sounds better than what you have on. How many chickens had to die for that dress?" She argued.

I burst out laughing and the saleswoman asked how I was doing. I told her I was good before telling Rocky I'll call her later. After I took off the dress, I was able to escape with a lie that I planned to come back with my friend for her opinion.

I went straight to the mall by my job and went to Nordstrom. I didn't see anything I liked so I went to Neiman Marcus next. It took me 30 minutes to find a great dress. It was blue and satin with asymmetrical straps and a side thigh slit. I loved the shade of blue and it fit me beautifully. I sent a pic to Rocky and she sent me heart emojis. She also asked if I wanted to get ready at her house which I agreed.

I was cutting it close as far as getting to work on time, but I made it, bare faced and my hair in a ponytail. On my break, I called Devin, the guy who does my hair, to see if he could fit me in on Saturday. He was booked, but got me in Friday night with a promise to come up with a style that would last until Saturday.

Because I was getting my hair done on Friday, the ball was on Saturday, and I knew Ethan picked up EJ on Sunday, I texted Ethan this weekend was no good for me as far as another date. I asked if we could meet again after work sometime next week. He reminded me he had EJ that week, but if I wanted we could have a movie night with him and plan our next date then. I told him that sounded great. The only thing I had planned was Jordan's engagement party that weekend so any day would work for the movie night

On Thursday before work, I found a new pair of heels, some new jewelry and I got my eyebrows threaded. After work on Friday, I went to the hair salon so Devin could do my hair. He gave me a wash and a blow out then put half of my hair in a tight halo braid. He left a few strands to frame my face and talked me through the different options I had for the rest of my hair. I listened politely, even though I knew I would probably just leave it down in waves. I gave him a huge tip for fitting me in and staying late.


Saturday morning, I went to the nail salon to get my nails done. I went with a french manicure with royal blue tips and glitter nail art. While I got a top coat, I got a call from Ethan. I apologized to my technician before I answered his call, smiling.

"Hey. Are you busy?" He greeted me.

"Not in 20 minutes. What's up?"

"Brandon was able to help me with the bed today. Can I come over in 30 minutes to pick it up?"

"Absolutely. I'll see you soon."

I was back home in 15 and changed into a cute matching track suit before Ethan and Brandon arrived.

"Hey you two." I said as I let them in. It was the first time I saw Ethan since our date and I couldn't help thinking about what a great time I had and smiling at him. He gave me a smile back and we stood there, smiling at each other until Brandon asked me, "Didn't you just finish your backyard? How are you giving stuff away already?"

"My dad bought it, said I could take it back and didn't give me the receipt." I replied, leading them to the backyard. I took Justine out too and spent majority of the time keeping her out the way while they broke down the bed.

"How's baby daddy life treating you Brandon?" I asked him sitting on the sectional once Justine whined to go back inside.

He chuckled. "It's amazing. Ace is amazing. He recognizes my voice and he was trying to talk to me the other day."

"Talk?" I grinned.

"Yeah, I was giving him a bath and talking myself through it and he started cooing at me. He's smart man." Brandon bragged and made me grin wider.

"Awww. I hope he does it while I'm over there tonight."

"I think Rocky was planning to fed him and make sure he was sleep when you go over." Brandon told me.

"What? Why would she do that?"

"You'd know better than me. I figured it was so she can have girl time with you." Brandon shrugged. "Don't you need to get ready for the ball?" Brandon questioned.

"Ball?" Ethan paused to look at me.

"It's a benefit dinner for the Mavs Foundation. There's an auction and fundraising and probably dry chicken." I shrugged, nonchalantly.

"Dry chicken?" Brandon smiled.

"Yeah. These types of events always have dry chicken. I'm thinking about bringing a bib to go over my dress so I can pregaming at Whataburger."

"Wear the bib if you plan on holding Ace. He projects when he spits up." Brandon added, with a hint of pride.

I laughed. "I'll remember that."

They had the bed packed up and loaded in Ethan's truck in 30 minutes. While Brandon headed to the truck, Ethan lingered at the door with me.

"Your hair looks good like that." He complimented me.

"Oh, thank you." I said, patting it down. "So were you like Brandon when EJ was 2 months: marveling over every tiny miracle like cooing and spitting up?"

Ethan shook his head with a smile. "I was more into traditional milestones: First words, first steps, things like that."

I laughed.

"Ethan! If you want help putting this back together, let's go!" Brandon called to him.

"One minute." He said before turning back to me. "Thank you again for the daybed." He said, stepping away.

"No, thank you for giving Justine her space back."

"Bye Lily. "

"Bye Ethan." I said before watching him leave.

After they left, I went to my room and gathered my dress, shoes, make-up, undergarments, accessories and an overnight bag before I headed to Rocky's house. When I got there, I called Rocky to let her know I arrived. She texted me back to let myself in. Rocky was in the kitchen sitting at her breakfast nook, talking on the phone as she put pacifiers in the bottle cleaner.

"Lily just got here so I'll give you a call when she leaves... Yes, I'll tell her... Yes... Ok... Love you too. Bye."

"Who do you love and what did they want to tell me?" I asked, joining her at the table.

"Forrest. He says hello."

"Oh yeah. What's up with him?" I asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. He came over Tuesday after Memorial day and he just seemed off. Has he seemed weird to you lately?"

"Not really. He did see Rachel at Gabriel's party: that maybe why he was acting weird." Rocky mentioned.

"Ohmygod. No wonder he's been off. Is he ok?"

"He's fine." She said simply.

"They reconnected after college at Gabriel's Memorial day party. He proposed at that party. I don't think he was fine. He must have been so hurt."

"He said it was ok. He mentioned it was weird seeing her and they didn't talk much."

"Much? What did they talk about?"

"I didn't really ask."

"Why not? Don't you want to know? Aren't you wor- uh, curious?

"No."

"You're not at all worried about the conversation he had with the woman who left him at the alter?"

"I just had a baby with my ex-fiance. I don't have the time or right to be worried about him talking to her." Rocky said, standing up.

"Rocky-"

"Stop. I have maybe an hour or so before Ace wakes up. I don't want to talk about this. I want to relax and catch up with you and hear all about Uriel." Rocky cut me off.

I sighed deeply, but complied with her request. She put my hair in sleek curls in her bathroom as I told her about Uriel: us sleeping together and now dating. She asked if I could see myself getting serious with him.

"I don't see myself getting serious with anyone right now. Not only am I still figuring out what I want, I'm enjoying being single." I explained.

"Good. I plan on living through you from now on so I want all the details."

As I did my make-up, I gave her a play by play of my first date with him. Ace woke up and I was able to hold him for a few moments before he cried to be fed. Rocky breastfed him as I put on my dress. When I came back he was having tummy time and he kept trying to hold his head up. I encouraged him as I slid my silver bangle as far up my arm as it could go and put on my silver studs and dangling earrings.

After I had my silver heels on, I got on my phone and took videos and pictures of Ace. I posted it on my social media with the caption: #KeepYourHeadUp #ProudGodmother #BabyAce

Once I saw it was 10 minutes later than the time I should have left, I gave Rocky and Ace a hug and dashed out. At 6:05, Uriel gave me a call and I told him I was 10 minutes away from his apartment. I arrived at his apartment 13 mintues after 6. I knocked once before Uriel opened the door.

"Hey. You look great." I complimented him. He wore a wonderfully fitted charcoal tuxedo, white dress shirt and a navy blue bow tie. His hair was slicked back, falling perfectly to his shoulders and leaving his handsome face open for perusal. It always amazed me how freakishly good looking he was.

"You ready?" He said, reaching to close the door as I continued to gawk.

"Um... Can I leave my bag here?" I asked, snapping out of it as I realized he was getting ready for us to leave.

"Sure." He stopped, taking my overnight bag from me and placing it inside the door before he closed it. He quickly led me to the elevator as he pulled out his phone. He typed away on his phone, stopping once we reached the ground floor. I followed him to his car. Once we got in, I barely had time to put on my seat belt before he floored it.

"I'm sorry I was late." I told him as he zipped around traffic.

"Call me next time. I told Ruth I'd be there early to work before the party started."

"Work?" I looked over at him.

"Yes. The top sponsors and season ticket holders are going to be at the ball. Everyone will be working to make sure people not only donate, but continue to support the Mavericks." Uriel explained.

"Wow. Sorry. I assumed this was a date, not work."

"It's both. I'm not going to be working the whole night. We'll get an hour of date time in." He promised me.

I gave him a skeptically look but said nothing, a little miffed at the fact that this was a work dinner, not a date. I retrieved my phone from my clutch. I saw I had comments on my pictures of Ace.

Brandon: Look at my boy. Keeping his head up!

Rocky: Lily was literally singing to him keep your head up lol

Forrest: Tupac?

Rocky: No. Andrew Grammer.

Bilal: Child abuse.

Rocky: What part? Andrew Grammer or Lily singing?

Amber: lol

Ethan: It got him to put his head up.

I quickly typed a response.

Me: Exactly! Thank you @Ethan

Cam: Yep, @Ethan probably trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

Bilal: Or how to get back in the womb to escape it.

Rocky: lmao

Me: Y'all are not going to come on my page and be disrespectful! I will delete you!

Trevor: You tell them Lily! Andrew Grammer does not deserve this!!!

Cam: 😂

Bilal: 💀

Sammy:😶

Me: lol Deleted! @Trevor @Bilal @Cam

I didn't realized we arrived into we pulled in front of the valet. The attendant open my door and gave me a hand before he took the keys from Uriel. Uriel received his ticket before he took my arm.

"Did I tell you how gorgeous you look?" He said, his eyes taking me in like it was the first time he saw me.

"No. You didn't. Probably because I made you late for work." I said, as we made our way to the concert venue that was hosting the ball.

"You are definitely worth the wait."

"Thank you." I said, cooly.

I couldn't contain my excitement as we hurried past the huge crowd of people taking pictures and walking on the blue carpet in front of the building. We bypassed it and went in a side entrance after Uriel produced our tickets. We made our way inside and up a short flight of stairs to the main room.

It was gorgeous: blue lights shined over the entire room. There was a huge stage in the front where a band played jazzy instrumentals that made me think of Ethan. There was a dance floor in front of the stage, but the room was filled with elaborate tables, covered with blue tablecloths, elegant dinnerware and huge beautiful white flower centerpieces. The ceilings were decorated with intricate white fabric. It was completely over the top and I loved it.

"This is beautiful." I breathed, taking it all in.

"Monica is at the photo station. I'm going to take you to her." Uriel said, leading me away from the entrance as I looked around the room. I spotted acrobats hanging from silver hoops from the ceiling. I was so enthralled I didn't turn away until we reached Monica. She took a step away from the group of women she was chatting with to give me a hug.

"What a great dress. Did you find it at Allie's?" She asked me, looking amazing in a gray silver beaded mermaid gown.

"Nope. This is a prom reject." I said, hugging her back. She turned to Uriel.

"I plan to be out of here at 11. Go find my husband and remind him." Monica ordered him.

"Ok. You ladies have fun." He told us, flashing me a smile before he left.

"Elizabeth and Karla, this is Lily. You met each other at the Lexus event." Monica reintroduced us.

"Hi." I smiled, politely, checking out Karla's short formal black dress and Elizabeth's lacy blue gown. I was glad I reached out to Monica so my dress was appropriate.

"Lily. Right. How did you get that nickname?" Karla smiled at me.

"You have a tattoo of a lily right?" Elizabeth blurted before I could say it was the shorten version of Lilian.

"No. That's Clover, Dennis's new girlfriend. She has the 4 leaf clover tramp stamp." Monica corrected her.

"Right. I can't wait to see what she wears tonight." Elizabeth snickered.

"You need a nickname if you're with Uriel." Karla told me.

"Uriel calls her Lilac." Monica told them.

"Only to piss me off. And this is only our second and half date. We're not at the nickname stage." I told them as a group of women left the photo booth and joined us. Karla and Elizabeth chatted excitedly with them while Monica turned to me.

"How do you have a half date?" Monica asked me.

"He's working tonight... And I don't know if I should even count my barbecue because I didn't invite him so that's being generous." I explained.

"Mon-Mon! Lilac! C'mon! Picture time!" Karla waved us over.

We joined the group and took silly pictures with the props including a foam finger, blue and white boas, oversized sunglasses, and puckered lips. We had the option of getting a printed and digital copy, which we all did. Afterward, we made our way to the bar for drinks then upstairs to the auction items.

I examined all the autograph basketballs, shoes, pictures and cards being auctioned off. I bid on a few items, but hearing how much the other women were bidding for things I knew I would mostly likely lose. I wasn't a diehard Mavericks fan so I was fine with that. Because I saw all the good work the Mavericks Foundation did, I donated what I bid on the items anyway.

As we bid, we did more drinking and people watching. I was introduced to more wives and girlfriends than I could ever remember. It was mildly entertaining watching how nice they were to each other just to cut each other down as soon as they left. Seeing that made me really just observe and keep to myself, not knowing how they would talk about me as soon as I left.

2 Emcees that work for the local sports news came on the stage, signaling the start of dinner. We made our way through the now full room to our table. Monica, Elizabeth, and Karla saved a seat for their husband next to them so I did the same for Uriel. Elizabeth and Karla introduced me to their husbands Logan and Aaron respectively and I gave Trent a hug when he joined us. A man Trent introduced me to as Wesley joined us and only two seats remained at the table. Uriel finally joined us with a woman who looked vaguely familiar. After she greeted everyone warmly, she turned to Uriel for an introduction to me.

"Ruth, this is Lily." Uriel introduced me plainly. I held my hand out to Ruth and she gave me a firm handshake.

"So glad you could come in such short notice. When the Chilcoats canceled, they left us in such a bind. We were so worried about not having a full table." She smiled at me, flashing her pearly white perfect teeth. As soon as she did, I recognized her as the women who worked for the American Airlines Arena who was all over Uriel at the dinner I went to with Monica. I remembered her smile because she giggled at everything Uriel said, and Uriel was not that funny.

"Nothing to worry about. I'm happy to be here." I said, just as cheerfully with a fake smile as I took my seat, moving my purse for Uriel to sit next to me.

As soon as she sat on the other side of Wesley, Ruth began talking over me and Wesley to Uriel. Wesley examined his program, seemingly not caring about his rude date, but I was so tempted to ask Uriel if he wanted me to trade seats with her. Thankfully, the emcees introduced themselves and welcomed everyone to the event and she shut up.

Drinks and the first course were served while the emcees recognized certain people, including Mark Cuban, the Dallas mayor and the basketball stars in attendance. It was somewhat surreal being at the same party as people I see and watch on TV, but hanging with Christian taught me they were just people like everyone else.

An illusionist performed while we ate dinner. The salad course was being cleared when Ruth noticed someone heading to the bar that Uriel didn't get a chance to speak to. They both left to corner him. We were served our entree and they still hadn't made it back.

"Can I take a picture of your chicken?" I asked Wesley when he received his chicken entree.

"Sure." He said, shortly.

"Thank you. I  made a joke to my friend about how you only get served dry chicken at these types of things and I want to send him a picture." I said as I took a picture with my phone. I put my phone away, thanking him again before I dug into my steak.

"The chicken is moist. Probably because it was seasoned with water." He said, disgruntley.

I could barely contain my laugh and I took a sip of my drink to hide it as he looked around the room with disdain.

"Not enjoying the ball?" I asked, curious to why he obviously didn't want to be here.

"I'm strictly a seat filler and only because I owed Ruth. I donate, but I don't come to these things."

"Why not?"

"I never understood the concept of spending thousands to raise money. Wouldn't it make more sense to donate it all to people in need?" He observed.

"It would, but the sad truth is that a person is more willing to spend $500 for a seat at one of these things than to just donate it to a worthy cause."

"As someone who grew up on food pantries and goodwill, that doesn't sit well with me."

I nodded in understanding and leaned in closer to speak softly. "Just think about how much these people overpaid to see the back of Dirk Nowitzki's head, eat bland chicken and go home with worthless memorabilia."

He finally cracked a smile and turned towards me. Before he could respond, Uriel and Ruth returned. They took their seats and I watched the last of the magic show as I finished my food. As dessert and coffee was served, Uriel turned to me.

"We have some time before the auction closes. You want to take a look?" He offered.

"No. I already did and bid on the Dallas Cowboys tickets."

"I could never get into football. Too much standing around." Uriel stated.

"I agree. Basketball has much more action- it's more exciting." Ruth chimed in.

"It's not as fast paced as basketball, but football is more strategic." I countered.

"It's also a 53 man rooster. You can't just trade a few players and have a dominate super team like you can in basketball. That's not exciting to me." Wesley added. "Who's your team?" He asked me.

"I'm a die hard 49ers fan. The tickets were for the Cowboys vs 49ers game."

"I'm a Kaepernick fan. I hope he gets to a Superbowl again." Wesley said.

"Well good luck. I hope you win those tickets. Maybe you two can go together." Ruth motioned to Wesley and me.

"I would need luck and a few thousand to win those tickets." I said, placing my hand on Uriel's on the table. He grabbed my hand and squeezed and I flashed her a smile.

"We still need to take a group picture together. Let's go before dinner ends." Monica said to Trent, Uriel and me. We excused ourselves and headed to the photo booth. There was a couple of groups in front of us, so we had a little wait.

"You handed Ruthie beautifully." Uriel complimented me, placing his arm around my waist.

"Yeah, now you know I can be more than a seat filler." I quipped, cocking my head up at him.

"You're not a seat filler. At the time we committed to a table, I couldn't even get you to call or text me. I wasn't planning on coming here with anyone tonight." He explained.

"Oh, I think Ruthie was planning on that too. Unfortunately, the Chilcoats left you in a bind."

"Fortunately, they did." Uriel said, bringing me closer, leaning down to brush his lips against my ear. I couldn't help the little shudder and smile that broke out on my face as he nuzzled against me.

A bright light flashed in front of us and we both looked up to see Monica grinning with her phone aimed at us.

"That's the picture you two should use for your engagement announcement." She sighed at the picture before showing it to us.

"Ohmygosh, if you don't shut up..." I trailed off threateningly.

Uriel said something to Trent in Mandarin that made him crack up laughing.

"Don't you two start that. I mean it, I will go off on both of you and cause a scene!" Monica threatened.

"I didn't say anything!" Trent said, holding back his smile.

"You taught him it!" Monica continued.

Uriel and I chuckled at them. Finally, it was our turn and Monica directed us into poses with no props.

"This is starting to feel prom rejecty." I provoked Monica.

"Just smile Lilac." She instructed me.

After a few different poses, Monica dismissed us. As she retrieved the pictures, I noticed the cover band started to play top 40's hit. As the dance floor filled with people, I asked Uriel if he wanted to dance, but he declined.

"Are you ready to leave?" He asked me.

"If you are. Are you off the clock?" I joked.

"I was never on it." He told me, sliding his arm around my waist. We walked over to say goodbye to Monica and Trent.

"You ready too?" Trent asked Monica.

"Not until we dance. Bye you two. I'll send you the pictures." Monica said, giving us a hug.



Once we got back to his place, I told Uriel I was just going to head home.

"I thought you wanted to spend the night." He reminded me.

"I thought this was a date."

"It was."

"It definitely wasn't. We spent more time together in the car." I argued.

"Come up. You need to get your bag and I have something for you." He said, leading me up to his place. When we got there, he grabbed my bag sitting by the door and walked into the kitchen. Not taking the bait, I hoovered next to the door. He came back with a chocolate mold high heel filled with assorted truffles.

"What is that?" I exclaimed, eyes wide, mouth watering.

"Chocolate. The women at my job think highly of them. It's early. We can still spend time if you want to."

"Are you bribing me with chocolate?"

"No. You have a choice. What's it going to be?" He said, holding up my bag, then the chocolate.

I chose both: eat the chocolate then leave with my bag, but I didn't reveal that as I  followed him and sat on the couch. While he went to get us a glass of wine, I took a picture of the chocolate high heel before I picked a truffle. I took a bite of the milk and white chocolate ganache and sighed in delight. It was delicious.

Uriel joined me on the couch with two glasses of red wine. He sat next to me, his arm around my waist as he channel surfed. When I saw an old SNL with Drake was on, I asked him to change to it. Drake was clean shaven and I kinda saw what Staci meant when she said he and Ethan looked related.

I pushed those thoughts away as we drank wine, sampled truffles, and watched the show. Or at least, I did. Uriel was more interested in caressing the side of my body than eating chocolate or watching the show. When his arm that was wrapped around me started fondling the side of my breast, I stopped him.

"We're supposed to be spending time together." I lectured him.

"We are." He said, pulling me closer to him.

"You're not even watching the show."

"I don't like SNL." He said, leaning in to kiss me. I turned away so he couldn't connect with my lips.

"How do you not like SNL?"

"Too political and most of the skits are stupid, not funny." He kissed my exposed shoulder instead.

"This one with Drake is not that political. And have you ever heard of stupid funny?" I defended one of my favorite shows as his lips moved up to my neck.

"You've seen this one before?"

"Yeah it's a rerun." I gasped when he ran his tongue over my sensitive spot. "You can pick something else to watch."

"No. Keep watching."

"Uriel stop." I groaned as he began to suck the same spot.

"Why? Doesn't it feel good?" He murmured against my skin.

"I don't want a hickey and we're not having sex tonight."

"I won't give you a hickey. Am I allowed to kiss you?"

I took a deep breath and decided making out would be a fair compromise. I turned my head back to him and nodded. He kissed me on the lips, again and again until his kisses became too intense.

"The show is back on." I breathed to him, breaking our kiss.

"Ok." He said. As soon as he I turned my face to the t.v., he focused on my spot again, nibbling softly.

I closed my eyes as arousal built inside of me."Please watch it with me." I pleaded.

He ignored me, continuing to lavish my neck with kisses, nibbles and occasional sucks. The combination of his mouth and  his hands fondling me all over my satin dress had my body responding even though I didn't want to. When my legs spread instinctively, I scooted away from him.

"Uriel-" I began to ask him to stop or I would have to leave.

My plea was cut off as he pushed his lips against mine, sliding his tongue into my mouth, coaxing mine against his. I moaned and returned his kisses. His hand crept up the slit of my dress until he reached my sodden thong. I gasped and he laid me back on the couch, stroking me through my panties. I threw my head back, knowing I should stop him but I didn't. I didn't even realize he unzipped his pants and put on a condom until he was pressing against me.

I cried out, a mixture of frustration and relief as he pushed inside me. I ran my fingers through his hair, tugging on the long strands as I arched against him. In response, he pumped faster and deeper inside of me. My body raced towards climax, clenching around him as I came.

While I was still recovering, he picked me up and carried me into his bedroom. He laid me on the edge of his bed on my stomach before lifting up my dress. He gripped my hips roughly before re-entering me. I whimpered with every thrust until he finally finished.

As usually, after he pulled out he went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and clean up. I gingerly got up and made my way to the living room. I grabbed my bag and went into the guest bathroom. I cleaned up, scrubbing my face with water trying to remove the foundation and bronze smokey eye. Next, I pealed off my fake lashes. The red orange lipstick was gone, but my lips were still stained with the color. After I struggled with the zipper on my dress, I changed into a pair of leggings, a t-shirt and my sliders. I left the bathroom and headed for the living room to grab my heels so I could go.

"I have Elisa coming in early to make us breakfast. Any request?" Uriel asked me from the kitchen.

"I'm leaving, but do you really have to have her come over to make breakfast? Eggs are not hard." I questioned him.

"If it requires more than a microwave, I'm out." He said, joining me in the living room. "Stay. Watch the rest of your show and we'll have breakfast in the morning."

"I'll stay... But I want to go to bed together." I negotiated, not sure why I was being difficult about staying the night. We already slept together.

"I told you I can't sleep without a workout."

"I'll wait. Or you can hold me until I go to sleep, then work out. Your choice."

"I'll be 40 minutes."

"Ok. French toast."

"French toast?"

"That's what I want for breakfast."

While he went to his treadmill, I went back  to the beginning of the show and watched about half of it when Uriel was ready to go to bed. After we slipped under the comforter, he reached out to touch my breast, but I pulled away.

"Cuddling only."

"I don't cuddle."

"I didn't want to sleep with you tonight, so I guess we can both do something we didn't want to do today."

He gave me an incredulous look. "Lily, we already slept together prior to dating. Not sleeping together when we both want to is pointless."

"Pointless or not, it's what I wanted." I finished, before turning my back to him.

He eventually caved in, putting his arm over my waist.

"Goodnight Uriel."

"Night Lilac."

I ignored him and fell asleep.


The next morning we woke up to cinnamon almond french toast, thick pepper turkey bacon, and a fruit salad. It was amazing and almost made up for me breaking my promise of not sleeping with him. Uriel spent the majority of the morning on his phone or answering emails so after I ate, I left and went home.

That afternoon, I took Justine for a run to the dog park. As she played around, I checked my social media. Monica posted and tagged me in the pictures we took the night before. I received a lot of likes and comments on them. Apparently, Jenna showed my dad, because she commented he said we looked great together. I liked the comment so she would know I saw it before I uploaded my own pictures: selfies of myself, the food I ate, the room, and the chocolate heel Uriel gifted me.

I then texted Ethan a picture of the chicken dinner.

Me: It wasn't dry, but it was bland.

He called me back and I answered right away.

"Besides the bland chicken, how was you're night?"

"It was all pretty bland. I always felt bad that I didn't go to my prom, but now I don't feel like I missed much." I replied.

"I'm sorry you didn't have fun. You looked beautiful last night."

"Thank you." I smiled. "And I did have some fun. There was an illusionist and I got to see the back of Mark Cuban's head."

"The whole back of his head?"

"Yes! I tried to pitch him an idea like on Shark Tank. I literally pitched my idea to him on a napkin." I joked.

"How did that work out for you?"

"Bad. It landed on Dirk Nowitzki's chicken."

"Well, if it was as bad as you said it was, you did him a favor."

"That's right." I laughed.

"We're still good for next weekend?" Ethan asked me.

"Yes, you, me, EJ and Mike Myers."

"Are we doing 70's theme food?"

"If there was pizza in the 70's, yes."

"Alright Lily. I'll talk to you soon."

"Ok. Bye."

I put my phone away before chasing after Justine.

Just The Two of Us

***Mini post. Didn't want to go another week without posting!***


"I see the crystal raindrops fall

And the beauty of it all

Is when the sun comes shining through

To make those rainbows in my mind

When I think of you sometime

And I want to spend some time with you

Just the two of us

We can make it if we try

Just the two of us (x2)

Building castles in the sky

Just the two of us

You and I" Just The Two of Us by Bill Withers and Grover Washington Jr.

After my Dad, Cam, Jenna and Beatrice left, I got back in bed planning to get a few more hours of sleep before cleaning my house. Instead of sleeping, I chatted with Trevor via comments on his picture. Bilal was the first to respond to the comment I left on their picture.

Bilal: Legends were made here. Memphis is the home of rock and soul. And you bring up Justin Timberlake? SMDH

Trevor: She named Justine after him. Don't try to argue with her. It's pointless...

I immediately responded when I saw Trevor's comment.

Me: Legend? ✔

Rock? ✔

Soul? ✔

So yes @Bilal. Justin Timberlake NEEDS to be brought up.

Pointless because it's true @Trevor

Trevor responded with a gif of Eminem in the music video for Stan. He added text on it that read: Lily, the original Stan.

When I asked him where he got the gif from, he told me it was an app he recently closed on. I commented that I would be downloading it once it was available, and he told me he would send me a link when it was ready. I didn't respond and a few minutes later, my phone started ringing. When I saw it was Trevor, I ignored him. Writing was more comfortable for me as I could edit before I sent. I sent him a decline message, saying I couldn't talk right now.

He sent me a text, but when I saw Forrest finally texted me back, I gave him a call. I was hoping to see how he was doing and drop off some leftovers, but he was on his way to Gabriel's annual Memorial Day party.

"Ok. Have fun. Make sure you tell him goodbye instead of ghosting like you did to me yesterday." I complained.

"I didn't ghost you. I left." He argued.

"Without saying goodbye Casper."

"I'm so sorry Lily. I'll never ghost you again." He said, sarcastically.

"See? Was that so hard?" I taunted him. We made plans for him to stop over Tuesday to pick up the food before we said goodbye.

When I hung up, I read the text Trevor sent me, asking what I thought about Noelle. I texted him back the truth: while it sucked how Bianca and Noelle got together, Bianca was the happiest I ever seen her and that was good enough for me. He responded with a gif of two girls kissing, and the added text: Good enough for me too. I responded with: Lol. Bye Trevor!

I didn't leave though. I stayed in bed and Trevor and I texted back and forth. I told him about most of my family being in town and how we all got along. He told me about all the traveling he was doing for work. When I realized how long we've been texting and how late in the day it gotten, I told him I had to get going.

I got up and finished my chores: washing my laundry, changing the sheets on the beds and taking out recycling and trash. After leftovers for dinner, I went to my room to figure out what I should wear on my date with Ethan. I spent an hour going through skirts, pants, blouses and dresses but I was having a hard time narrowing down what I wanted to wear.

It reminded me of the time I invited Ethan to brunch when I first moved back to Dallas. I was so insecure about what to wear and what to say. I definitely wasn't that insecure girl anymore, but Ethan somehow made me feel that way. I contemplating calling or texting Ethan, just to gauge how he was feeling but I didn't know what to say. After I picked a few clothing options, I took Justine outside. When she tried to jump on the daybed sitting in her grassy area, it gave me the perfect reason to call Ethan. I dialed his number and he picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ethan. Have any need for a gently used outdoor daybed?"

"Does anyone really need an outdoor daybed?" He asked me.

"No, but I couldn't convince my dad of that and now it's taking up all of Justine's grass."

"I'll take it. How did you get it in the backyard? How many people did it take?"

"I have no idea. My dad snuck it in while I was at work."

"I'll figure it out."

"Ok. Cool."

There was a moment of silence until he spoke up again.

"Was there anything else you needed to talk about?" He said.

"Um... Not really."

"Not really?" He repeated, expectantly.

"No, not at all. Why?" I asked, curious by his tone.

"Nothing, I thought I might have to reconvince you about going out with me."

"No, but I would love to hear what you would have said to convince me."

"I would love to share it with you. Tomorrow. On our date." He coaxed me.

"About that... Where are we going? I was trying to figure out what to wear but I have no idea what we're doing."

"Dinner, if it's not too late for you."

"It's not too late."

"It's casual, so dress casually."

"Ok. Good. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

I went back into my closet, and picked out slimming dark brown pants with a burgundy top and cream cardigan. Tuesday, I got up and went to my boxing class to work off some nervous energy. Even though I knew we would just be doing dinner and I had my outfit picked out, I was still nervous. I told myself no matter what, at least we would know what was between us so we could resolve any feelings we had.

While that motivated me to go, it did nothing for my nerves. I went to work, the catching up after the holiday on Monday keeping me busy for the first part of my day. Q was part of the team that worked Monday and he pulled me aside when he got ready to leave for the evening.

"Hey, any idea what's up with Fahri and Clayton?" He asked me.

"No idea." I replied. "Why? Did something happen?"

"Not really- it's the way Clayton talks about him. I was wondering if you picked up on anything."

Clayton going over Fahri's head came to mind, but I didn't want to add more fuel to the speculation fire.

"Not at all, but let me know if anything happens."

"I will."

On the way home, I called Forrest to confirm he was still coming over. When he told me he was heading over as we spoke, I hung up and rushed home. He still beat me there. I let him in, asking about him and Rocky as I made my way to the kitchen to grab his Tupperware containers.

"We're good. Adjusting. Why? Did she say something?" He responded, looking through the containers.

"No. Why? Should she have said something?" I said, grabbing a reusable bag to put his food in.

"No. You know, it's an adjustment. But we're ok. Adjusting." He repeated, biting into a pecan bar. I stared at him, wondering if I had enough time to dissect that generic, redundant answer. I saw the time and that Ethan would be picking me up in another 40 minutes. I decided to save it for later.

After I let him out, I took a quick shower before throwing a towel around my body. I did my make-up next, a natural look with a peach nude lip. I was taking down the french braids I wore at work, applying styling milk to my waves when the doorbell rang. I looked at my phone and saw it was a quarter after 8:00. I got up, put on a terry cloth rob and went to answer the door.

"You're early!" I complained, letting Ethan in as I checked him out. He looked great as usual in khakis, a light blue shirt and a gray overshirt.

"I wanted to take a look at the bed while you finish getting ready." He said.

"Ok. I'll just need the last 15 minutes!" I promised.

"Take your time." He assured me.

Once he went outside, I went back to my room to get dress. I put on black ankle booties and diamond studs before tossing my hair asymmetrical, letting it fall over my shoulders. After examing myself critically in the mirror, I checked my phone to see I had 3 minutes left. Ethan was still outside, so I went out to see how he was doing. His overshirt was off and his defined biceps flexed against his shirt as he had the mattress up, examining the frame of the bed. 

"Time!" I announced, stepping out on the deck and stopping my perving of him. 

"You look great." He said, looking me over as he walked to the deck.

"Thank you." I flushed at his appreciative glance.

We walked into my house and after he put back on his overshirt, we left. I locked up and he walked me to his truck, opening the door for me. I smiled thankfully as he gave me a hand and I lifted myself up into the seat. He closed my door and I put on my seat belt before I thought about opening his door for him. I undid my seat belt and I leaned over to open his door. He reached the driver's side of the truck at the same time I got the door opened and it whacked him on the side.

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, nervously as I sat back against the seat.

"It's ok. I'm fine." He said as he joined me in.

Once our seat belts were on, Ethan started the truck and we left. He told me I could turn on the radio and I did. The music was the only thing filling the awkward silence in the car. I flipped stations for a while, stopping on songs I liked to focus on the music and not the anxiousness I felt. 10 minutes into the ride and the only set station not on commercials was playing jazz.

"Do you want to connect your phone to play your music? EJ has an AUX cord in the cup holder." Ethan informed me.

"No. It's ok." I said switching back to the jazz station. "We can listen to this."

"I didn't think you were jazz fan."

"I'll listen to everything. Is this Kenny G?"

"No. I believe that's Charlie Parker."

"Damn. That was my second guess." I joked, flatly.

He looked over at me once he stopped at a red light. "You said you can do anything with the right song playing? Pick one that makes you relax."

"Are you saying I'm not relaxed?"

"I'm saying you're not at ease like you normally are." He said, as he turned into a parking lot.

"I'm just hungry." I smiled, weakly.

"Well, we're here."

I looked up to see we were at the Razzoo's parking lot. My jaw dropped.

"Really? You though taking me to the restaurant I asked you to and you rejected me would put me at ease?" I said, perplexed.

"You remember?" He asked, surprised.

"Of course I do! You remember things that devastate you."

"I don't remember you being devastated."

I shook my head at the memory of spending the rest of the day crying with Sammy, thinking maybe there was too much history between us for this to work. "I held it together in front of you."

"I'm sorry. I should have said yes when you asked me out. I wanted to say yes." He said, grabbing my hand.

"Why didn't you?" I questioned him.

"I was afraid." He admitted.

I stared at him for a moment. "Of what?"

He cleared his throat before he replied. "My feelings for you. They weren't something I planned... Or understood. Even after 2 years, I didn't know how to... control how I felt. It was- It was the safe choice not to date you, but I always regretted it. I brought you here because I wanted to make the right choice." He confessed.

I took a deep breath, touched by the fact he was so honest with me, even though he was clearly uncomfortable revealing that to me. "Ok."

"We don't have to eat here. We can go somewhere else. Anywhere else." He offered.

"No. I understand. You want a redo and I want oysters so let's go eat." I smiled at him, at ease. 

We went inside and was seated right away at a booth for two. We seat across from each other, looking over the menu.

"You want to start with oysters?" Ethan asked me.

"Yeah... I normally get the grilled oysters but that's when it's happy hour and half off."

"Happy hour ended an hour ago." He pointed out.

"I know." I frowned. "Another perk of my job; I always miss happy hour."

Our waitress came over and took our order. We ordered a dozen grilled oysters, sweet tea, jalapeno catfish for him and I got the seafood platter. When she left to put our order in, he asked me how my job was going: besides missing all the happy hours.

"It's ok. Did I tell you what happen with my boss and speeding up my client's rehab?" I asked Ethan. When he responded no, I filled him in on how Bolen got reinjured and requested to work with me only. Our appetizer arrived by the time I told him about Q and him asking me if there were any problems between Dr. Clayton and Dr. Fahri.

"How did Clayton feel about Fahri getting promoted?" Ethan asked me, handing me a small plate for the oysters.

"I really didn't pay attention. I was kinda distracted with learning my new role and moving." I said, glossing over the fact that it was after Trevor broke up with me and I was completely out of it. I grabbed an oyster before offering him one.

"You eat oysters right?"

"I do." He said, taking one from the plate. "Maybe he was frustrated he didn't get the promotion."

"The way Adil explained it, he was the one that recognized the need for his position and pitched it to our boss. It makes sense he would get the job." I countered.

"Understandable, but if Clayton was with the company longer, I can see why he would believe he should have been considered." Ethan commented.

"Maybe. I really don't care about their power struggle. They completely lost me when they started to put their personal agendas above the clients." I said in between bites of food. "How's your job?"

He smiled, brightly and I listened intenly, automatically excited for him. "We have a project not far from your house in development. Condos and retail space- it's coming together nicely."

"That's awesome... Or wait. Is it in Plano? Because if it is, you can do shoddy work so my property taxes don't increase."

"The demand in Plano is going to increase your taxes regardless; Especially once the Toyota center is fully opened."

"Urgh, don't remind me. Traffic and prices have already increased thanks to all the Californians moving to Texas." I sighed in disgust.

"Lily, you're a Californian that moved to Texas." He pointed out to me.

"Whatever." I laughed as he shook his head at me.

Our dinner came and I traded him shrimp and crawfish for a piece of his jalapeno catfish. We ate and chatted about EJ and how close he was from having enough practice time to play in his first game. Ethan promised to send me his schedule so I could be there.

"This is kinda weird." I said, dipping a fry into my extra cherry mustard sauce.

"What? Your sauce?"

"No. This is incredible. Have you tried it?" I asked.

"Maybe; If I have it's been a while."

I dipped a shrimp before handing it to him. He took a bite and I watched.

"Good?"

"Good." He confirmed. "What's weird?"

"Us. This." I motioned to the table.

He averted his eyes and I was able to read the disappointment on his normally stoic face. "It's not awkward between us." I quickly clarified.

He meet my eyes again and I continued. "First dates are normally awkward- with awkward getting to know you first talk. Like what's your family like and what are your favorite hobbies. We're just talking. That's weird for a first date."

"I met most of your family and you've met all of mine. What other hobbies do you have besides concerts, food and Disney movies?" He asked.

I grinned. "None. That's it. My entire life in one sentence. I don't know your hobbies besides what you do with EJ."

"That's pretty much my hobbies: Whatever he's interested in at the moment."

"So right now your life is basketball, drums and Youtube videos?"

"Exactly." He nodded with a slight smile.

"Ok, EJ is gone. You have free time-"

When he opened his mouth to respond, I cut him off, "and you can't say work."

"Will started poker nights a few times a month, fishing with my dad, reading." He listed.

"Reading? Read anything that got made into a film I would have seen?" I grinned.

"I think the last book I read that was made into a movie was a Dan Brown novel."

"Yes. I love Tom Hanks. Aren't they making another?"

"I don't know. I haven't watched any. I read the books."

"They almost made me want to read the books. Even though they're not Disney movies, we can add them to movie nights."

"EJ didn't make it through Aladdin. You think he can make it through the Da Vinci Code?"

"Probably not." I conceded before the waitress came and checked on us. After she left, Ethan asked me, "Any more first date small talk?"

"Yes. Favorite colors?" I teased.

"Yours is blue. I don't have one."

"Pick one. What's your favorite color to wear?"

"Black."

"Um, no. Pick another one." I ordered him.

"Gold."

"Gold? Is that your second favorite color to wear, Goldmember?" I giggled.

"No. It's the color your eyes turn when your laughing-especially at someone else's expense. Who's Goldmember?" Ethan asked, as I blushed, a pleased smile on my face.

"He was a character in the third Austin Powers movie. The one with Beyonce." I explained.

"I could barely make it through the first one."

"EJ would love them." I said, the smile never leaving my face.

The waitress came again, clearing our plates and asking if we saved room for dessert. I didn't and none of their options were tempting enough to take home so we declined.

"You still think tonight was weird?" Ethan asked me as we left.

"No, this was nice."

"Nice enough to do it again?" Ethan questioned as we approached his truck.

"Yes."

"I don't have EJ this weekend, if you're free." He opened the truck door for me.

"I have plans already." I stopped and looked at him before I got inside. "I- um, I'm dating other people. I'm not ready to commit to anyone or a relationship right now. I just want to make sure you are aware and ok with that." I said, trying to be more straightforward and not make the same mistakes.

Ethan looked me in the eye. "I told you the only things I need from you are your time and honesty. I appreciate both of them tonight."

"Ok." I nodded.

"Ok. Will you let me know when you're free?"

"Will do." I smiled up at him.

I got in and popped open the door before he made his way around the truck. He thanked me as he got in. When he started the truck, the jazz station was playing Just The Two of Us.

"Omg. I know this song!" I said, excitedly.

"Grover Washington Jr?"

"No. Dr. Evil sings this to Mini Me in one of the Austin Power movies. It's a sign! This is the next movie night." I smiled.

"It's a date." He smiled at me before we took off.