Light my Fire

"You know that it would be untrue

You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl, we couldn't get much higher
Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire" Light my Fire by The Doors

After Uriel dropped me off, I text Staci letting her know I was picking up my car and to call me when she woke up. She called me back before I left so I told her I was outside. Once I saw that Mia was passed out in Staci's bed, I filled her in about Uriel.

"He sounds hot." Staci said in between sips of her coffee in the kitchen.

"Pretty much." I smiled, thinking not only about his body and sexy face, but his confidence and straight forwardness. That was very hot and attractive to me.

"You met him last year at your birthday?"

"Yeah, but we didn't start hooking up until recently." I admitted.

She gave me a sly grin. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"Had what in me?"

"Date and sleep with different guys at the same time." She smiled.

"I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a little part of me that felt like a hoe for sleeping with both of them. My therapist made me realize as long as I'm being honest with others and myself, I'm good." I explained it.

"I agree."

When Mia woke up, I made my exit. I spent the rest of my day coordinating with my family for my backyard party. My brother and dad would be spending the entire Memorial day weekend in town. Bianca and Noelle would be flying in Saturday evening and leaving on a red eye Monday morning. Since my cousin Benjamin's kids went to year round school and they had a break, he decided to make it a road trip. They were going to spend the week at Great Wolf Lodge, an indoor water park resort in Grapevine, TX.

Brittany was the only one who hadn't given me a definitive response. She messaged me back and said she didn't feel comfortable coming because I didn't invite her mom. I knew Aunt Patty wouldn't come, but I did reach out to invite her. Just like I thought, she declined. Brittany then told Bianca her boyfriend and future baby's father didn't think it was worth the time or money to drive to Dallas for one weekend. Once Bianca offered to fly them out and got them a room at Great Wolf Lodge too, she agreed to come.

I planned the party for the Sunday before Memorial Day. It was more than a month away, but since most of my family was coming, I wanted it to be perfect. I reached out to my friends on Facebook and let them know about the party. Once I had an idea of how many people I invited, I started listing things I still needed to purchase for my backyard. I planned to go shopping with Rocky next weekend at Pier One for the fun stuff like a new patio table, chairs, dining set, and decorative pieces. Richard also helped me pick out a grill. He got me a great deal from a manufacturer who was having it delivered to my house for free.

At work, I was thrilled when Dr.Tran offered Q the position. Q accepted, but I was surprised when I discovered he would be on the opening shift. Q explained how he preferred to get off early and negotiated for it. When I talked to Dr. Fahri, he advised me that another therapist, Dr. Tony Goodman, would be moving to the evening shift. I worked with him briefly during my training and he had been with the fitness center since he was an intern. Disappointment aside, Tony was a good therapist and I was happy Q was joining us.

Friday morning, my grill was delivered in a big box. When I reached out to Richard to tell him it arrived, he said he'd get in touch with me to put it together. To exaggerate my eagerness and helplessness, I posted a short video of the grill in the box and how I was putting it together by myself. I ended the video saying if I set myself or the house on fire, I loved everyone... And it was Richard's fault for not helping me.

An hour later, Richard responded with a comment that stated:

RIP. If only you waited until Tuesday, I could have helped and saved your life. 

I laughed and pushed the grill in my garage. On Saturday, I got a call from Ethan.

"Are you home?" He asked me.

"Yep. What's up?"

"I'll be over in 15 minutes to help you with your grill." He directed me.

"No. You don't have to. I'm good." I replied.

"Burning down your house and setting yourself on fire is good?"

I laughed. "No, I didn't even open it. Richard is going to help me on Tuesday."

"Or I can help and you can grill today."

My impatience got the best of me and he was already on the way so I agreed. I hurried to my room, looking over my track pants and t-shirt. I stopped myself as I considered putting on something cuter and less casual. It was just Ethan: he wouldn't care. I had my hair up in a bouncy ponytail by the time I heard my doorbell ring.

Justine and I raced to the door to let Ethan in. He turned down my help, easily carrying a grocery bag and a bag of charcoal in his arms as Justine ran around him. Once he put the bags down in the kitchen, he pulled out the same brand of snacks I bought for Justine. They were supposed to be good for teeth and Justine loved them. She begged for it excitedly, but Ethan wouldn't give it to her until she calmed down and sat. I smiled watching them, surprised when she finally did listen to Ethan's firm demands. Ethan rewarded her with her treat and a rub down.

"Where's the grill?" He asked me.

"Garage." I said as I started to empty his shopping bag.

"Hotdogs and hamburgers?" I frowned up as he returned with the grill, pushing it across the floor.

"Yes."

"I'm trying to be a grill master in time for my party. I need to learn how to grill ribs and brisket and a whole pig." I said as I put the food away.

"A whole pig?"

"Yes. Like luau style with an apple in it's mouth."

"I'm pretty sure those are cooked on the ground. Besides, you have to walk before you run." He said, continuing to push the box through the kitchen. "Walk with hamburgers." He lectured me.

I turned away to open the door to the backyard for him. "I can walk already."

"If you could walk, you would know you don't grill ribs or brisket, you barbecue them." He said, lifting up the box to get it through the door. I couldn't help but notice the muscles in his arms flexing under his shirt as he lifted the box up.

"What's the difference between barbecuing and grilling?" I said, focusing on his face.

He set the grill down on the deck. "Let's get this together and I'll show you."

After I grabbed my speaker and tools, I followed him closing the door behind me to keep Justine inside. I was connecting my speaker to my phone so I could put together a kid-and-my-dad-friendly playlist for the party. I stopped when I saw him reading through the instruction manual.

"Will music distract you?" I asked, remembering how he requested I turn it off when we put a chocolate fountain together a couple years ago.

"No. I learned to tune out your background noise."

"Music is life, not background noise. I can accomplish anything if the right song is playing." I stated.

He looked up at me. "We'll see. Turn it on and grab the Phillips head screwdriver."

I put on a shuffle of all my playlist before we got started. I assisted Ethan and together we had it fixed in no time. When it came to actually using it, he let me take the reins and supervised. While I started the fire, he explained the difference between grilling with direct heat and barbecuing low and slow with indirect heat. After I put the hamburgers on the grill, I went back inside to check on Justine. I grabbed a couple of beers on the way back.

When I came back out, Sweat by Inner Circle was playing. I love the song and I haven't heard it in forever. I handed Ethan his beer before I went over to save the song to my backyard party playlist. I opened my beer and took a sip. I closed my eyes, savoring the cold beer as I swayed to the music.

Ethan cleared his throat and I looked over at him as he watched me. "You should be checking your burgers grill master."

I grinned, sheepishly. "They're fine. You like yours well done right?"

He shook his head with a half smile. "No. Medium."

"Medium, coming right up." I grabbed the spatula and went over to the grill. I flipped the burgers over and Ethan joined me to put the hotdogs on.

"Do you remember how to check the doneness of the meat?" He asked me.

My fingers clutched the spatula, nervously as I remembered what he taught me a few 4th of Julys ago. He stroked my face, describing how each different temperatures should feel right before he kissed me. The memories of the flames that ignited between us when his lips and body pressed against mine felt like it happened yesterday instead of years ago.

"Yeah... I remember." I croaked out.

"Go ahead and test it." Ethan instructed me, moving closer to the grill and me.

I shifted away from him and closer to the grill. The open flame was a safer choice for me. I touched a patty gently. "Rare."

"Good. They should be done at the same time as the hotdogs." He told me, taking a step back from the grill.

"Good." I repeated as I exhaled deeply, not even realizing I was holding my breath.

Once we got the meat off the grill, we went inside to eat. I offered him another drink, courtesy of my makeshift bar. He declined and I fixed myself a drink and poured him a lemonade. As he fixed our plates, I explained why I had so much alcohol. I didn't reach out to Sammy to pick them up but she hadn't tried picking it up either. Ethan said Corey mentioned something about her shooting videos at his place, and I asked if EJ was still taking drum lessons.

Ethan told me not every week as Corey schedule was full and EJ was focused on his tryout for the club basketball team Jayden was on. He explained how EJ already had great endurance and speed thanks to his years of playing soccer, but they've been working on his skills like dribbling and shooting every night. I smiled as I imagined them training together and chalked that up to why I was noticing Ethan's solid, lean built more than I normally do. I asked him to let me know as soon as he knew if EJ made the team.

We ate at the kitchen table, turning on the Maverick's first playoff game in the living room. Due to Uriel's many post and threads, I knew they were playing Oklahoma in Durant. Ethan and I agreed that the Mavericks probably wouldn't go very far in the playoffs. Ethan even said he would be surprised if they forced a game 7 with Oklahoma.

"I thought you liked the Mavericks." I smiled at him.

"I like Nowitzki and Rick Carlisle. They don't have the talent to make it to a finals this year." He predicted.

"I know. It's all about the super teams now. I will never respect LeBron James for starting that."

"There were super teams before Miami. How do you think the Lakers got so many championships?" He argued.

"Kobe was outta high school when he was traded to the Lakers. It wasn't like he was a future hall of famer like the big three."

"Wilt Chamberlain was. So were Elgin Baylor and Jerry West." Ethan pointed out.

"That was before my time." I stated, refusing to admit defeat.

Ethan just smirked at me. "Lebron went back to Cleveland. No respect for that?"

"Nope. Every time I start to like him, I picture him taking his talents to Miami, dancing around, saying they're getting multiple championships before they even played a game together."

Ethan smiled. "That was a little premature."

"More like immature."

"That too."

After we ate, we retired to the living room to watch the rest of the game. I sent a text to Uriel, playfully taunting how bad the Mavs looked. By the second half, he responded back.

Uriel: Do you want to get together after the game?

Me: Do you really need to see the rest of the game? The Mavs are taking a L.

Uriel: Is that a yes or no?

I didn't respond because I was full, on my second drink and was still hanging out with Ethan. I didn't know how I would feel after the game. By the third quarter, Oklahoma was so far ahead, Ethan offered to help me clean before he left.

"No. I got it. You did enough already. Thank you for everything." I said, stretching as I stood up.

"You're welcome. We can level up to ribs next time." He promised, reaching over to give me a hug.

I laughed and as I hugged him back. "Absolutely, then a whole pig."

"Good night."

"Night."

I cleaned up as I watched the end of the 3rd quarter. At the beginning of the 4th, I decided I wanted to see Uriel. I text him to give me a call when he was home. He text me back to give him my address so he could come see me. I text it to him before going to my room. I watched the rest of the game as I changed the sheets on my bed. There was still a few minutes on the game clock when my doorbell rang.

I went to open it and let Uriel in. He was wearing a Maverick tee, jeans and his hair pushed back with a Dallas headband. Justine was all over him, jumping up on his legs and sniffing at him.

"I'm sorry. That was a tough loss." I told him, with a fake pout.

"It's the best out of 7." He said, side stepping Justine to pull me in for a kiss.

"Yep. Mavs will probably get swept in four though." I predicted, with a grin. He stiffened and pulled back to look down at me.

"Why would you say that? Oklahoma would have to beat us in Dallas twice. They don't play as well on the road." He frowned at me.

"Um... If Mavs keep playing like they did tonight, they will get swept no matter where they play." I explained when I saw how upset he got.

"We won't." He stated gruffly, before leaning in closer again. "Why do you smell like smoke?"

"I barbequ- no, I grilled today." I smiled as I thought about Ethan educating me on the difference. I pulled away from him. "Do you want something to eat while I shower?"

"I rather watch you shower." He said, tugging on my t-shirt.

I smiled. "Ok. C'mon."

I left Justine out in the living room and we had an amazing time in the shower together. Or an amazing time in the bathroom together. I tried to entice him into joining me in the shower as I undressed and got in. He truly just watched through the glass door as I lathered my entire body and rinsed off. There was something erotic about him watching me. Once I was done, he sat me on my bathroom counter, placed a condom on and plunged into me.

When we finished, I grabbed a towel to wrap around my body when he pulled away.

I smiled at his damp clothes. "I cleaned your sweats if you want them back."

"That's alright. Keep them. I'm going to shower when I get home anyway." He said, pulling up his pants.

"Oh. You know you can stay." I tightened the towel around my body as I stood.

"I have an early morning."

I walked him to the door. After a goodnight kiss, I took another shower, moisturized my skin and blow dried my hair before going to bed.

Sunday, Rocky and I headed to the store to shop for my backyard. We both loved Pier One. After selecting a long outdoor patio table and chairs, we walked around the store multiple times picking out cute dinnerware sets, cushions, pitchers, ice bucket and pillows that fit into my tropical oasis theme backyard. While we were in line, I noticed Rocky wincing in pain.

"Are you ok? Do you need to sit down?" I asked, rubbing her arm.

"No. I'm okay." She breathed deep. "It feels better when I'm moving around."

"Ok." I said as I studied her carefully. I wanted to check out Wal-Mart for insect repellent, but I held off to take Rocky home. I stayed to monitor her, but she seemed ok after a few hours. I left and stopped at Wal-Mart before I got home. I bought a folding picnic table with benches that I thought would be perfect for all the kids.

Richard came over Tuesday to discover the grill was put together. I heated him up some food and we sat outside and caught up. The next week, Uriel and I continued hooking up whenever we had time. Mostly it was him texting me to invite me over. If I hadn't heard from him, I would text and we would make plans when he was available. Other than making plans to hook up, we really didn't talk much. I definitely didn't bring up the Maverick's poor performance. Out of the 3 games they played, they only won one by one point. The other two were landslide victories. It wasn't a sweep like I predicted, but it was bad. The potential last game was in Oklahoma, but there was going to be a huge watching party at American Airlines Arena Tuesday night for game 5. Monica invited me and I made plans to go with my friends. I posted about it on my Facebook.

Q had his last day at his job and he invited me out to say goodbye to his former co-workers and celebrate his new job Friday night. Staci and Mia tagged along with me. As soon as I introduced Mia to Q, she immediately started complimenting and flirting with him.

"Where's your girlfriend Q?" I asked, blatantly.

"Who?" He said, amused.

"The girl that worked at Twin Peaks?" I reminded him.

"She worked at Twin Peaks. You thought that was going to be forever?" Q said with a laugh.

"That's messed up." Mia laughed with him.

"Maybe. But you girls do the same thing." Robbie accused us girls.

"I don't. My boyfriend is a bartender." Heather exclaimed.

"His job is the last thing I judge a guy on." I added.

"Aren't you dating some music guy?" Steven asked me.

"No!" I denied, vehemently.

"The guy she's dating does drive a Mercedes-Benz." Staci grinned at me.

"How do you even know that?" My eyes widen at her.

"I saw it when he dropped you off." Staci teased me.

"What are we talking about?" Jordan asked, joining us at the table.

"Q. Even though he's not joining my team, I'm still excited to be working with you again." I toasted with a grin. We all toasted and cheered.

Jordan and I caught up. She told me all about her engagement party in Fort Worth that Blake's parents were planning for them. It was going to be a small, intimate gathering for friends and family and she wanted me to come.

"I mean, you kinda introduced us." Jordan gushed. She chatted on and on about it until she froze, staring at the door. I looked over to see Derek, my former boss and her ex-boyfriend.

"You ok?" I asked her.

"Yes. I'm fine. I assumed he wouldn't be able to come out." She took a sip of her drink, watching him from her peripheral vision. He eventually made his way over to us and I greeted him, sincerely happy to see him. Jordan was polite and asked him about his work. Derek said it was going great and offered her congratulations on her engagement and a drink at the bar.

I let them go to the bar, honestly impressed how cordial and kind they were to each other. It was refreshing. While I was checking my phone to see if it was too early to duck out, Ethan sat next to me in the booth.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" I gave him a smile and a hug.

"Pawning off a few projects." He nodded over to the bar.  Daniel was here too, arm around Staci as they talked to each other animatedly.

I thought about it then smiled. "He bribed you to come with him so he could see Staci?"

Ethan just smirked.

"Wow. Why doesn't he just admit he likes her? She's convinced he just wants to hook up." I pondered out loud.

"He claims once he commits that's it for him. He won't do that until he's sure he found the right person." Ethan explained.

I nodded. "I actually respect that a lot."

"Are you doing the same?"

"More like I'm trying to figure out what I want before I'm ready for a relationship at all."

"Can I ask what happened between you and that guy you were dating?" Ethan asked.

He had to be talking about Christian. "Um, we were getting to know each other and I realized I didn't really like him that much and stopped dating him." I replied, dying for a subject change. I wanted to forget dating Christian.

"What didn't you like about him?" He probed.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What didn't you like about Serena?"

"I liked her; I just didn't feel passionate about her. Someone told me how important that was." Ethan explained.

"Please don't take relationship advice from me. I'm the last person you should listen to." I chuckled humorlessly.

"You were right. Remember when you asked me when was the last time I felt passion?" Ethan asked, grabbing my hand. I looked up at him. "It wasn't Serena. She deserves someone that feels that way about her." Ethan confessed.

I shook my head and look down. "No. You were right. Compatibility is more important. Passion can burn out." I conceded.

He stroked my fingers, absentmindedly, as he asked. "What about both?"

I gazed at our hands together before I peaked up at him. I found him staring at me intently. I stared back into his deep brown eyes, my stomach churning with anxiety or nerves, I wasn't sure which one.

His lips parted to speak when my phone went off. I would have ignored it, if his phone didn't go off at the exact same time. We both pulled our hands apart to get our phone.

Brandon: Rocky went into labor. Medical City in Lewisville

Ethan and my eyes met once more before we both got up to leave the bar.

Acquainted

"'Cause every time I try to, try to, try to run

The fast life keeps gaining on me

But ever since I met you

I couldn't believe what you did

So comfort me babe, ain't no rush from me babe

I'll keep on touchin' on your body(×2)

To say that we're in love is dangerous

But girl I'm so glad we're acquainted" Acquainted by The Weeknd

"It's beautiful."  Rocky commented, waving her hand under the stream from the water curtain. I refused to post pictures of my backyard online because I wanted to have a party for the big reveal. Unable to wait, Rocky invited herself over to check it out.

"If you lawyer up, we can get Christian to fund you a whole new house too." Rocky leveled a look at me.

I shook my head and ignored her. When I told Rocky what happened between Christian and I, she was as livid as I was. She ranted about everything from suing him for revenge porn or getting her brother to round up a group to beat his ass. I tried to talk her down, telling her he wasn't worth the time or energy. He wasted enough of mine already.

Since I blocked all forms of communication with him, he started sending flowers and baskets and other gifts that I didn't even open. I didn't even read the cards. If I was home, I refused to accept them and if the were dropped off, I returned them. It was becoming not only annoying but expensive to keep it up, but I figured he would eventually get the message that I was done with him. In the mean time, I was so over dealing with him. 

Rocky let it go and we spent the rest of our time making tentative plans for a backyard party. I wanted to invite Bianca and Noelle and also extend an invitation to her brother and sister Brittany and Benjamin. I would love if my brother and dad could make it too. It seemed like sometime during Memorial day weekend would be best. I sent out messages to see if it would work with my family.

Tuesday, Q had his interview with Dr. Fahri. It was late in the morning, so I headed straight to work after my workout to catch them. I missed Q, but Dr. Fahri told me it went well and he was reaching out to Dr. Tran for a final interview. I sent Q a text letting him know, thrilled with the prospect of getting some more help on the evening shift.

The next time I saw Monica, I invited her to lunch so I could apologize for being short with her. She didn't have time for lunch, but we walked down to the cafe together for coffee. I blamed my attitude on it being a bad week, and although she looked at me skeptically, she accepted my apology. She even invited me to a dinner hosted by a Maverick partner. Trent was traveling with the team, so Monica was going in his place and asked me if I wanted to be her date. Not wanting to turn down a free meal, I agreed to go.

Another part of me wanted to go because I knew there was a chance Uriel would be there. I hadn't tried to contact him but he hadn't tried to reach out to me either. Considering how I handled things the last time we hung out, I figured the ball was in my court. I wanted to feel him out a little before I made a decision regarding us causally hooking up again. I would rather do that in person.

Saturday, I went to the salon and had Devin shampoo and trim my hair. It was still a shoulder length blunt bob, but afterward, my waves were glossy and expertly styled. I tipped Devin and thanked him for a job well done as always.

"Just tag me in your photos. I'm trying to move on to bigger and better things. Styling Christian Wilson's boo is going to be my come up!" Devin joked.

I gave him a forced smile at the mention of Christian and left. When I got home, I did my make-up, going for an understated but flawless look. I wore a black dress and black booties, ignoring the cute options that I got from Christian. Silver studs and dangling earrings completed my look and I was out the door to meet up with Monica.

The dinner was at a steakhouse in Downtown Dallas. A private room with 2 long tables was set up in the back of the restaurant. I walked in and looked around for Monica. As luck with have it, she was standing with Uriel and another guy drinking champagne. I made my way over, giving them both a warm smile.

While they continued their conversation, I looked Uriel over. He looked amazing in a dark blue suit, black undershirt and blue tie, with his hair neatly tucked behind his ears. After I caught him checking me out a second time, I met his eye and stepped closer to him.

"Can I talk to you for a moment-" I didn't get to finish before a woman in a peach bodycon dress joined us, standing by his side.

"Uriel, are you ready to sit down? I'm going to topple over in these heels soon." She asked him, sliding her arm around his. In her 6 inch stilettos, she was almost as tall as him.

"Lily, did you need to talk to me?" He asked me while putting his hand on her arm, supportingly.

"Nothing that can't wait." I backed away, with a closed lip smile.

Monica and I followed their lead and we sat down at the table as well. Monica introduced me to some of Trent's colleagues and we made small talk during the dinner. Unfortunately, I followed the other women's lead with ordering lemon drop martinis and side dishes for meals.

I paid no mind to Uriel for the majority of the night, but after two drinks and a lobster mac and cheese, I couldn't help myself. His female friend was all over him. She leaned in whenever he spoke, constantly touched his arm, giggled at almost everything he said. I felt no animosity towards her; I definitely understood the attraction. He was intriguing and confident and charming and outgoing and so fucking sexy...

"Lily?" Monica called me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Yes ma'am?" I looked at her.

"You ready to go?"

"Sure."

Once we were out the restaurant, I turned to Monica.

"I parked in the lot a little bit down so I'm going to head that way." I told her, leaning to give her a hug.

"No wait. I'll give you a ride." She offered.

"That's ok. Besides, I saw a McDonald's on the way. I know we just ate, but I need a burger."

"Girl, me too. I'm going to Steak and Shake though. Trent hates their burgers. Says they're too small."

"That's why you order them with a milkshake... And cheese fries... And chili... And-"

"Stop talking. Let's go." Monica said, heading to her car parked on the street.

We went to Steak and Shake and ordered three meals between us. While we devoured our food, Monica made jokes about the other women's diet. She called it the Slim Fast diet- shake for breakfast, shake for lunch and a sensible dinner: They just substituted martinis for the shakes. I mentioned their diet worked: no one was bigger than a size 4. Monica promptly told me to shut up and we laughed.

While we were eating, I received a text from Uriel.

Uriel: What did you need to talk to me about?

Me: I wanted to apologize and thank you again for a few weeks ago

Uriel: You already did.

Me: You were really great so it beared repeating.

I saw he was typing back a response a couple times before he finally sent it.

Uriel: Again, you're welcome.

I couldn't help wondering about the woman he was with tonight as I put my phone away. As I finished the last of my shake, I asked Monica, "Do you know that woman who was with Uriel?"

Her eyebrows raised with interest. "Why? You jealous?"

"Not jealous. They are way too cordial for exes and he claimed he wasn't dating. Just curious to how he knows her."

"Maybe he's changed his mind about dating and she was his date."

I pursed my lips but didn't say anything else.

Monica smiled, knowingly. "She's an executive for the arena. Uriel's a big believer of don't shit where you eat. Even though technically they don't work for the same organization, they work together enough that he has no interest in her." Monica revealed.

"Good for him." I replied, popping my cherry in my mouth, relieved.

"Mmhmm..." Monica said. "You know It's ok if you like him. I won't say I told you so."

"I don't know him. I'm just nosy."

"Sure. Just name the first baby after me."

"Hell no." I exclaimed, grinning as I thought about Deborah's story of Ethan's large head. "His babies are going to be huge. Can't do it." I shook my head.

Monica laughed at me.

On Sunday, I called Rocky, seeing if she needed any help on projects she had to complete for Ace. I found out that she and Brandon were hanging out with Omar, Kelly and baby Olivia, getting some tips and hands on training for Ace. I told her to tell everyone I said hello and to send me pictures of the baby. Kelly invited me over instead.

Not wanting to miss a chance to hang out with baby Olivia, I headed over to Kelly's house. Omar let me in and I joined everyone in the living room talking and holding Olivia. When she fell asleep, I asked Brandon if knew the location of the crab place Ethan got the crab legs from.

Rocky groaned. "Lily! Don't bring them up. I can't eat them."

"Yeah, I don't feel bad. You never told me about them." I replied, smartly.

"It's far out. I've been there like twice." Rocky said defensively.

"Yeah. It's a hole in the wall place maybe 30 minutes away from where my parents live." Brandon informed me.

"Oh, that is far." I frowned, thinking that maybe Ethan was in McKinney when EJ texted me.

"We should go after Ace's is born-" Brandon planned.

"You are breastfeeding right?" Kelly cut him off.

"I'm gonna try." Rocky nodded.

"Don't try! Do it. It's much better than formula. You can't have spicy food when you breastfeed. It changes the taste of the milk." Kelly lectured.

Omar sighed deeply and Kelly gave him a look.

"With all the hot sauce Rocky's been eating, he'll be use to it." Brandon commented.

I smiled. "Right. She might have to dab some on his bottles and pacifiers." I joked. We laughed as Kelly tsked us, and launched into a lecture about pacifiers and how Olivia didn't use them.

Before we left, Brandon and Rocky offered to babysit Olivia anytime to get more practice. Omar jumped at the opportunity, while Kelly was a little hesitant. When Omar told her Reggie was going to be DJing at one of their favorite bars in Deep Ellum, she reluctantly agreed.

The following week, Q had his second interview with Dr. Tran. Q didn't get any feelings from Dr. Tran, but I assured him Dr. Tran was the same way with me. I told him to call me if he hears anything, and I'll do the same. On Thursday, my social media was flooded with pictures of Christian and Shawnee leaving a hotel room together in California. I really didn't care if he was sleeping with her. Part of me was relieved he was moving on. I was just sick of hearing about him. If Shawnee never tagged me in the first place, this wouldn't be happening.

I ignored all the comments, but I did tell Amber and Staci the truth about ending things with Christian. Amber was more subdued than Rocky. She agreed what he did was deplorable, but did ask me if there was anyway Christian could have gotten the idea we were exclusive. I simply told her no and ended the conversation.

After Staci confirmed I secured the Rihanna tickets, she was all about moving on.

"Let's get you online! We can work on your profiles right now and go on dates together next weekend!" Staci planned, excitedly.

"No. I'm serious about not wanting a relationship." I reminded her.

She scoffed. "Neither do 75% of guys online. That's why you date. Believe me, by the time you're ready for a relationship, you'll be glad you weeded through all the losers and guys just looking to get laid. At least you'll have some contenders."

I thought about it briefly. That would definitely ensure the next guy would be completely outside my circle, but I didn't know if I wanted to meet random men from online.

"I'll pass, but thanks." I declined.

"Fine, but we're going out Saturday. No argument." She told me.

I agreed. Dancing sounded better than staying at home, avoiding my phone. I invited Monica too, but she and Trent had plans. She also hinted that Uriel probably needed something to do since Trent was occupied. I did end up sending Uriel a text, asking what he was up to before I went over to Staci's house. Mia was already there, playing music and drinking wine.

"That dress is sexy, but what's up with the jacket and the sneakers?" Mia criticized my outfit. 

I could have said a lot about the red wig, red bodysuit and dark red denim skirt she had on, but I bit my tongue. If she was confident in her outfit, who was I to judge?

I felt great in a white dress that Bianca and Noelle sent to me for Miami. I wore a Fenty jacket off my shoulders like my style icon Rihanna wore the same jacket. I loved my all white Puma Creepers and since I planned to dance, they would be easy on my feet.

"I like them." I said confidently.

"You look good." Staci complimented me.

"Thank you. So do you!" I smiled at her, loving her matching orange separate crop top and skirt.

"I'm just saying, Shawnee J always looks on point on Instagram. She always showing skin. And she would never wear sneakers with a dress." Mia pointed out.

I inhaled deeply and Staci snapped, "No one cares about that bullshit. We're trying to go out and have fun. If you wanna gossip and start shit, go home."

Mia made a face, but she said nothing else. I took a sip of my wine, content that Staci got her to shut up without me saying anything.

We took an Uber to the club and joined Dino, Jake, Kelly, Omar, Malik, and Jasmine at their table. Staci, Mia and I took a ton of pictures, tagging ourselves at the club before we hit the dance floor. I dragged Kelly out with us and we danced around, singing to each other. When Straight Outta Fucks came on, Staci and I immediately left the dance floor with Kelly following us.

We returned to the table, and I removed my jacket to cool down. A mixture of Christian's songs played for the next 30 minutes.I made faces at every song and Staci laughed at me. When Reggie took a break from DJing, he found our table and sat next to Jasmine, giving her a kiss on the lips. He waved at me and tried to talk, but I couldn't understand him over the music. He came to my side and knelt so he could talk in my ear.

"I said it's really cool you know Christian Wilson. You think you can send my Soundcloud link to him?" Reggie asked me.

Urgh. I didn't even want to hear his name, much less reach out to him for someone I didn't really know or like. "Send me the link." I said, noncommittally. No promises, no lies.

He pulled out his phone right away and I gave him my email.

"Good looking out." He nodded to me, before he headed back to the DJ booth. Jake glared at him while Jasmine followed. I made eye contact with Jake, made a cutting motion with my hand under my neck, signaling to him I wasn't going to do it. He chuckled at me as he picked up his drink.

"What's so funny?" Dino asked over the music, looking at us both.

Jake leaned in to tell her something, but I didn't pay attention. A guy at the bar caught my eye. His back was to me, but his height and hair in a messy knot immediately captured my attention. When he moved his head around, scanning the club, I grinned as I recognized Uriel.

I sat there staring at him, willing him to look my way. I don't know if it was because he was looking for me or if he felt my gaze, but he finally looked in my direction. When he gave me a sexy smile, I leaned closer to Staci.

"I'll be right back." I told her in her ear.

"If you're heading over to that guy, don't come back. Give me the details tomorrow." Staci responded back in my ear.

I giggled, knowing she was kidding, but that's exactly what I planned on doing. I got up and headed Uriel's way. He tracked me, keeping his eyes on me until I was right in front of him.

"Hey Lily." He greeted me.

"Hey stalker." I grinned.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Stalker?"

"Yes stalker. Or is it just a coincidence you're here?" I asked.

"Was it a coincidence you were at dinner last weekend?"

"I was Monica's date." I avoided answering the question.

"She has no problem attending those dinners alone."

"Don't deflect. We're talking about you."

"Did you get my text?"

I pulled out my phone, and looked through his thread.

Uriel: Not much. Did you resolve your situation so I can see you?

"I got it." I smiled, knowing now that he wanted me like I wanted him. "Now, did you know I was here?" I questioned him.

"Yes. You tagged your location." He admitted, sliding his arm around my waist. "Since so many beautiful women were tagged here, I figured this would be a good place to come for a drink."

"Beautiful women huh? Well, I'll let you enjoy. Have fun." I said, pretending I was going to leave. He grabbed my waist to stop me.

"You know I enjoy having fun with you." He said, huskily in my ear. "I told you however many night stands you wanted. Is that what you want?"

I nodded, enthusiastically as the bartender brought him his drink. He paid for it before turning back to me, his hands slipping dangerously low on my back. "Tell me what you want Lily. I want to hear it."

"You. I want you Uriel. Inside of me, Fucking me." I answered in his ear.

"Let's get out of here then." He said, leading me away.

"What about your drink?" I exclaimed, slowing down but not stopping.

"I didn't come here for a drink." He gave me a sultry look before I hurried up to match his long strides. I wouldn't have been able to keep up in heels. Thank God for my Creepers.

We walked outside and quickly order an Uber. It was a tension filled drive, even as I made small talk with the Uber driver. I squeezed my legs together, repeatedly, to quell the arousal spreading all over my body. It didn't help when Uriel noticed me, and placed his hand on my thighs, stroking me over my dress.

When we finally got to his apartment, there was no foreplay needed. He took me to the bedroom and we stripped off each other's clothes. I knelt on all fours on the bed, showing him what I wanted. Once he had the condom on, he wasted no time kneeling behind me. He rubbed his hardness against my entrance, driving me crazy as I backed into him.

"Did you resolve your other situation?" He grunted to me.

I was so lost in lust, I almost didn't know what he was talking about. "It's a little too late if I didn't." I groaned, wiggling my hips in an effort to get him inside me.

"Never too late." He breathed deep, moving away.

"No! It's resolved. We're done." I promised on a yelp as he pushed inside of me. A shiver ran down my spine as he trailed his fingers up my back and over my neck before settling in my hair. I cried out when he gripped a handful, pulling me up off my hands and on my knees.

Both of his arms hugged me in place as he began to thrust inside me. One of his hands snaked to my breasts, squeezing my nipples while the other found and stroked my clitoris. I pushed back into him, faster as I reached my climax. He kept up with my pace, grinding into me until I came.

I moaned loudly, spasming against him. He gripped my hips, slapping our bodies together until he came too. When he finally released me, I fell to bed, rolling over to face him. He examined my body, lustfully, and I smiled at him. He got up from the bed to dispose of the condom.

"You're welcomed to stay the night." He told me.

"I think I'll take you up on that." I said, breathlessly. "Do you have a shirt I can borrow?"

He went into the closet and tossed me a 2012 Champion shirt for the Mavericks.

"Do you have something not as old and pathetic?" I taunted, wrinkling up my nose as I slid it on.

"That's all I have." Uriel returned from the closet, fully dressed in joggers and a t-shirt. He grabbed his phone charger before turning to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere." He said.

"If you're going to another bedroom or something I can leave. I don't have to stay." He asked me if I wanted to spend the night, but it's not like he stayed in bed and tried to cuddle with me. I wasn't sure what to think.

"I can't sleep without a workout, so I'm going to hit the treadmill." He told me from the door.

I relaxed at his explanation. "What we did wasn't a work out?"

He came back to me at the bed. "It was, but I'm not exhausted." He informed me, stroking my cheek, then my neck. I shuddered, pulling him close for a kiss.

"I can help you with that." I breathed against his lips, between kisses.

"That keeps me up." He said, giving me one last kiss before pulling away. "Get some rest and help me wake up in the morning."

"Ok." I smiled.

"Good night." He told me.

"Good night." I curled up under the covers and fell right to sleep.

I woke up the next morning, alone in bed. I got up to use the bathroom. I checked out his grooming products before I cleaned up the best I could. I brushed my teeth with my finger and borrowed a ponytail holder from his drawer so I could put my hair up. Looking halfway decent, I walked out into the living room to see Uriel on the couch, sports center on the massive tv while he read some book.

"Is that Italian?" I asked, when I tried to read the cover on the worn out book.

"Yes." He said, putting it away.

"Are you fluent?" I questioned, joining him on the couch.

"Yes."

"So you know English, Spanish and Italian?" I probed.

"My French is rusty, and I'm learning Mandarin." He answered, putting his arm around me.

"Ohmygosh, why do you know so many language?"

"I grew up speaking Italian and Spanish at home. Learned English in school. I studied French in college and Trent likes to insult people in Chinese so I'm picking it up." He pulled me closer.

"Where are you from?"

"Here. My parents were born in Argentina." He murmured against my hair.

He placed me in his lap, much like a few weeks ago. This time, I didn't stop him as he felt me up all over my body before he took off my shirt. He pulled himself out of his briefs. As I stroked his erection, he reached over and grabbed a condom from a hidden compartment in his couch. As soon as he had it on, I guided him inside of me. We rocked into each other lazily until we both came together.

After we finished, I ran my fingers through his hair, giving him a smile before I pressed my lips to his. When I pulled back, he said. "I can give you a lift home. I'm getting out anyway."

I normally would get an Uber to maintain distance, but I decided to take him up on his offer. He loaned me another Maverick shirt and sweatpants. While I waited for him to shower, I changed into the clean clothes.

We went to his parking garage and Uriel unlocked the doors to a sporty, 2 seater Mercedes-Benz. The doors popped open vertically, and I got inside, amazed by all the room in the luxurious car. The interior of Uriel's car was as sleek and impressive as the outside and I complimented him on it as we took off.

"You into cars?" He asked.

"Eh, not really. I can tell yours is fancy because it still has that new car smell." I teased.

He nodded his head. After I told him the address to Staci's house where my car was, the ride was quiet. He didn't even turn on the radio. An Uber driver would have at least made small talk or played music, but I just followed Uriel's lead and enjoyed the silence.

When we arrived at Staci's, I turned to say goodbye but he cut me off.

"Can I text you so we can get together again? This way, you don't think I'm stalking you." He asked, unlocking the doors.

"I was just kidding. Do you wanna be bang buddies?" I asked him.

"I'm not sure what that is but I'm going to assume I'm too old for it."

"How old are you anyway?" I asked.

"35 this year."

"Yep. Definitely too old for a bang buddy. You can't be my friend with benefits because you're not my friend."

"Do you need a label?" He asked me.

"Yes. Labels help everyone decipher things so it doesn't get confusing."

"Nothing to be confused about; I enjoy spending time with you. I would like to continue and I promise, I'll never try to get a commitment from you." He replied.

"Alright. Acquaintances with benefits then?" I quipped, with a smile.

"Whatever you need to call it." He smiled back.

I got out of the car and waved goodbye.

Nothing Last Forever

"Everyday

With every worthless word
We get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing last forever
But be honest, babe
It hurts, but it may be the only way" Nothing Last Forever by Maroon 5

The elevator opened on Uriel's floor and I was taken aback when I saw Trent with 2 other guys waiting. His eyes widen in recognition before he gave me a smile.

"Hi Lilac." He said as I stepped off the elevator.

"You know it's Lily Trent." I narrowed my eyes at him, in no mood for his banter.

He just grinned at my glare. "Are you still a Lakers fan?"

"Of course."

"Then it's Lilac." He said stepping on the elevator with his friends. "Have a good night."

I rolled my eyes and said nothing as I walked to Uriel's door. I knocked and waited a few seconds before the door finally opened.

"Why didn't you tell me you had company?" I asked, annoyed as I let myself in.

"I don't." Uriel motioned to his empty living room.

"I ran into Trent at the elevator." I confronted him.

"They just left." He said, sitting on the couch, offering me a seat.

"Monica already suspects something's going on between us. Now she is going to know for sure." I began to pace, refusing to sit.

"I'm sure she already knows. Trent tells her everything."

"Why would you tell Trent?" I stopped pacing, hands on my hips as I stood in front of him.

"He asked. I wasn't aware it was a secret." He replied, eying me up and down. He took in my braided hair, sleep shirt and fur slides. "Are you wearing pajamas?"

"No shit." I ignored the heated glance he was giving me.

He stood up. "Were you already in bed?"

"No, I was at a pajama party. Hence why I'm wearing pajamas" I said, matter of factly.

He grabbed my arm. "Did you have fun?"

"A blast." I snorted, allowing him to pull me closer.

He led me back to the couch."You wanna talk about it?"

"You think I came over here to talk?" I questioned as I sat beside him.

He smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist. "I hoped not."

When he lifted me in his lap, I pulled away.

"Sorry. Sorry. I can't.. do this." I stopped, standing up.

"Ok..." He watched me closely. "Can I ask why?"

"I can't keep making the same mistakes." Being around Trevor, then trying to use sex to feel better about myself. That's how Christian and I got started. I had to stop.

"Is this a mistake because you have a boyfriend?" He asked, curiously.

"No! I'm not a cheater! I don't have a boyfriend." I exclaimed, my face heating up in embarrassment. I wasn't technically cheating on Christian, but I was breaking the promise I made to myself.

When Uriel observed me, suspiciously, I clarified.

"I'm dating someone. He wants to be in a relationship but I haven't committed."

"Ok. I thought you didn't want a relationship."

"I don't." I realized as I said it out loud. I knew I wasn't ready for a relationship, but after everything, I didn't want one at all. "I told myself I wouldn't sleep with you until I resolved things with him." I admitted.

"Oh." He said and I felt like a complete idiot for coming over.

"I'm sorry. I'm gonna go-"

"You don't have to." He said. "In fact, let me show you something." He pulled out his laptop and started a video.

"What is this?" I frowned up, looking over his shoulder.

"Highlights from this season. Before you leave, let me show you why we're still a threat in the Western conference." Uriel detailed.

"Highlights huh? Can't be very long." I taunted him, sitting on the couch. When he stared at my thighs, I tugged on my shirt as I leaned towards him to watch.

"Longer than the Lakers." He remarked before starting the video.

I woke up the next morning, curled up on the couch with a sheet. The last memory I had was Uriel showing me older clips from when the Maverick's won the championship back in 2011. I could tell he loved his job and his team, but his enthusiasm wasn't enought to combat my exhaustion and I fell asleep. I sat up, stretching, not believing I spent the night, even though we didn't do anything. I was straightening out my shirt when I heard Uriel enter his kitchen. I slid on my slides before joining him.

I was met with the sight of his bare back as he drank from a sports bottle as he speaking spanish on the phone. I admired his muscles and the line of his back before he turned and noticed me. I pointed to the door, signaling I was leaving, and he wrapped up his conversation.

"You heading out?" He ran his fingers through his thick hair. I was hit with the urge to run my fingers through his hair too...

"Yeah. Thanks for everything last night. I know it wasn't what you signed up for."

"No worries. Maybe after you get everything resolved, you can spend the night again."

"Yeah. I'm gonna go so I can work on that."

He walked me to the door. "You have my number." He reminded me.

"You have mine too. Bye Uriel"

"Bye."

I headed home, my mind surprisingly clear. Trevor's actions the night before gave me the closure I needed. We couldn't be in any type of relationship and he proved that we couldn't even be cordial. It was simple when I didn't have any other choice but to move on. There was nothing to think about concerning my relationship with Christian. My last relationship proved how hard they were even when I was in love. I did not want to put in the work to sustain a relationship with him. It wasn't fair to keep him waiting, thinking I just wasn't ready for a relationship yet when I didn't want one with him.

I went home, changed into workout clothes and took Justine out for a run. I text Forrest and Rocky back, telling them to give me a call when they woke up. Everyone else that left concerned calls or voicemails, I reached out in a group message, letting them know I was ok. Surprisingly, Sammy called me back right away. I wasn't in the mood to deal with whatever she had to say, so I let it go to voicemail.

When I got home, I took a shower before making Justine and myself breakfast. We were eating in the kitchen when Richard came in through the garage.

"Really? So you just come over, unannounced and let yourself in now?" I said, only partially annoyed.

"Yes, but this will be the last time as your surprise will be done today." Richard sat at the table with me.

I winced as I thought about the conversation I had to have with Christian. I knew that it was going to be hard so I put it off until I worked out what I needed to say. "Is it too late to return it?" I pondered outloud.

"Um, yeah. You'll see why later. Why? What's up?" Richard asked.

"I have to end things with him." I laid my head down on the table.

"Because you hooked up with someone last night?" Richard asked me.

My head snapped up. "What? Why would you think that?"

"You have no poker face... And I came over last night to check on you and you never showed." He explained. "So who is he?"

"He's nobody. We didn't even hook up last night. I slept on his couch."

"But you've hooked up before?"

"Yes."

"And?" He prodded.

"And... Nothing. He doesn't want a relationship so it's nothing. Christian wants to be together and I don't. I have to end things with him but it has nothing to do with Uriel."

"Understood." When he hid a smile, I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What?"

"Were you really going  to add me to your roster?" He grinned.

"You wish."

The surprise was going to be dropped off between 10am and 2pm so Richard kicked me out so he could get it set up. It was perfect timing as Rocky called me back. She was with Forrest at his place, relaxing as he cleaned up. I made my way over to help with the clean up.

They both asked about Trevor and how I was holding up. I gave vague answers, not disclosing why his song choice hurt me so much, but I assured them I was fine. Rocky informed me he an appointment with his Oncologist Tuesday in Wichita Falls and was already gone. I nodded, but did not comment and we changed the subject.

The rest of the party was pretty uneventful after I left. Jordan, Blake, Richard, and Ethan left right after I did. Amber got wasted off Seagrams wine coolers and fell asleep on a bean bag. Forrest and Brandon actually got to talk at the end of the night. Forrest said Brandon didn't say much, but the line of communication was opened between them. Rocky got the chill, kickback birthday party she wanted and I was glad.

While I was with Forrest and Rocky, Christian called. I texted that I was busy and would talk to him later. He text me back asking when. I didn't respond and he text me again, letting me know to call him tonight. I put my phone away as Forrest and I finished cleaning his house.

When Forrest left to return the rentals, I told Rocky all about my decision to break things off with Christian. When she asked if it had anything to do with Trevor, I said no. He was the catalyst that made me see I didn't want a relationship, but he was not the reason I was ending things with Christian.

Richard text me that it was safe to come home, but I stayed until Forrest returned. We heated up leftovers and looked at the pictures online. I uploaded the video Richard sent me of Blake kicking the Mic out of J-Mike's hand, captioning it:#MicDrop. We all got a good laugh reading through the comments. Jordan commented with an embarrassed emoji face. I replied: If the guy I'm engaged to doesn't kick a mic out of someones hands, we're not getting married. #RelationshipGoals.

I went home, a little disappointed that Richard didn't wait for me. I went outside and was stunned into silent when I saw a outdoor water curtain in the middle of the grassy area in my backyard, flanked by two palm trees. It was magnificent: the frame had a bamboo finish so it matched perfectly with my pergola. On my bar, there was a remote and a note from Richard.

It's a custom job, non-refundable. You could always sell it.

When I saw the remote not only controlled the water, but colored lights, I knew I wasn't selling it. I absolutely loved it. Justine could run through the water and she still had plenty of grass. The sound of the falling water gave a serene feeling to the backyard. I couldn't not reach out to Christian, so I called him back. I still wasn't ready to talk to him about ending things, but I had to thank him for the wonderful gift.

"It's gorgeous. It fits the backyard perfectly. I love it. Thank you so much Christian." I gushed.

"You're welcome. What kept you busy all day?" He asked me.

"I was helping Forrest clean up from the party."

"Yeah? I assumed you were hung over and didn't want to talk."

"No. I wasn't drunk at all."

"No? You were drinking 'thot juice' on Snapchat." He referred to the video posted with Richard.

"That was one of two drinks."

"So you were completely sober when you were dry humping ol dude?"

"I wasn't dry humping anyone."

"Your friend posted you and Richard."

"We we're just dancing-"

He cut me off. "Look, I saw Trevor was there. I understand if you were trying to show out in front of him-"

"I wasn't-" I denied as he continued.

"but don't play me like a simp. I did that shit with Noelle. I'm not gonna do it with you."

"Wow. Ok. I don't want to get into this with you right now, so I'm going to let you go."

"Fine." Christian said, before hanging up.

I tossed my phone down, irate but convinced I was making the right choice ending things. He called me back a few hours later but I ignored his call. I ignored his texts too. I avoided his attempts to reach out to me all day Monday. I didn't even listen to his voicemails. I didn't want anything to influence what I was going to say when I broke things off with him.

On Tuesday, my plans changed. It was the release day for Christian's video Straight Outta Fucks. He changed his profile picture to the photo I sent him of me wearing his Straight Outta Fucks t-shirt. He cropped off the top of my head, so the only thing that was visible on my face were my lips and captioned it: #WomenCrushEveryday #StraightOuttaFucks #Logic #Countdown #Midnight

I was fuming when I called him back.

"Take that photo down!!!" I hissed.

"I will bae. I really need to talk to you."

"So you post a picture that I sent to you to get my attention? Do you know how fucked up that is?"

"I know I made mistakes, but you have too. I know you slept with Richard."

"No I didn't." I exclaimed, my anger raising at his admission that he did post the picture as some kinda payback. Or that this somehow made us even because he thought I slept with Richard.

"You don't need to lie. I know you went home with him around St. Patrick's day."

"You are fucking insane. I didn't sleep with Richard! Even if I did, it doesn't matter because we are not together!!!" I exclaimed.

"It matters now! I don't want you hanging out with him if we're together-"

"We are not going to be together! Take the photo down now!!!" I exploded. I hung up before I said anything else. He called back a few times but I ignored every call. I couldn't believe he was being so vindictive, but when I thought about it, I definitely could believe it. He always had the asshole side of him. I was sorry I thought I saw more to him.

After I saw he took the pictures down, I blocked him. I was still fuming about the whole situation the next day. He was so convinced I slept with Richard off of pictures. It made absolutely no sense...

Until it did. He mentioned St. Patrick's day. I did try to leave with Richard that night, but nothing happened. There was only one person who witnessed me leaving with him who was petty enough to tell Christian. I grabbed my phone.

"Hello?" Sammy answered when I called her.

"Why would you tell Christian I slept with Richard?" I said, barley containing my anger.

"I didn't." She denied quickly before taking a deep breath. "Trevor did."

"What?!?"

"He was really upset about Christian and I thought if he knew it wasn't serious between you two, he would chill out. I didn't think Trevor would say anything but they got into it at South by Southwest and-" she tried to justify.

I was so confused and angry; I didn't want to hear anymore. "JUST SHUT UP AND STAY OUT OF MY LIFE!" I screamed at her before hanging up.

I was in a funk for the rest of the week. I just didn't want to be bothered with anyone. I even took a break from social media; I didn't log in at all. Christian and Sammy tried to call, but I purposely ignored them both so they would leave me alone. I saw Monica at work but I blew her off. Q text me he was interviewing with Dr. Fahri so we talked briefly so I could give him pointers. Besides work and Justine, I barely talked to anyone. I went to the boxing gym everyday, trying to work out my frustrations. I knew Rocky and Bianca were concerned, but I told them both I was just in one of my moods and would snap out of it soon.

I was in my mood of not wanting to be bothered for another week when I received a call from EJ Saturday evening. He normally texted me funny memes or GIFs from time to time but he never called. He barely returned my calls when I called him so I answered his call right away. EJ asked if we could have a movie night. After I agreed, I asked to speak to his mom or dad. It was Ethan and he said he would pick up food, movie, whatever we needed.

I told him I had Finding Nemo, but if he could pick up an order from Joe's Crab Shack I would take care of the rest. I called in the order and showered before I went to the convenience store to pick up Goldfish crackers, Swedish Fish candy, blue Hawaiian punch, and sprite.

I was tiding up when Ethan and EJ arrived. I let EJ put the Joe's bag down on the card table in the living room before I gave him a hug.

"What is that?" I asked Ethan as he set a brown bag on the table. I gave him an one arm hug, before quickly turning to the bag.

"Rocking Crab. It's less expensive and tastes better than Joe's." He told me as I opened the bag to peak inside.

A delicious spicy aroma emanated from the bag, making my mouth water. "Really? You should have told me. You could have just went here."

"EJ loves Joe's crab nachos and this way we can compare. EJ can do a food challenge."

"I know Joe's is better!" EJ declared, reaching for goldfish.

"Wash your hands." Ethan instructed him. He went into the kitchen to do so.

"Food challenge? Look at you." I complimented Ethan with a smile.

"I watched the Cuban snack challenge video before they posted it last week." Ethan revealed.

"I haven't seen it yet." I said, taking the food out of the bags.

"Do you have newspaper?" Ethan asked me.

"No. Who reads the newspaper?" I asked.

"The crab legs have sauce, it's messy. We should eat in the kitchen or dining room." He suggested.

"But the TV is in here." I stated, walking to my  bedroom. I grabbed my older thinner towels and laid them out in the living room for us to eat on the TV trays.

Hands down, Rocking Crab won as far as the crab legs went. The sauce was an awesome combination of sweet, tangy and spice that was definitely worth the mess. I would have felt self conscious about all the finger licking I did, but Ethan did the same thing. EJ enjoyed the movie, pointing out which characters we were eating.

"People eat whale and octopus in Japan." I told him, with a teasing smile.

"That's disgusting. Did you eat any in Japan?"

"No." I shook my head, not trying to think about my trip with Trevor.

"People eat turtles too." Ethan added.

"Ew dad. How do you eat a turtle?" EJ challenged him.

"Turtle soup. Have you seen The Little Mermaid?" I asked him.

"No."

"They have a great scene where a character almost gets cooked. Let's watch that one next."

I purchased The Little Mermaid and we settled in to watch it. EJ loved the scene like I thought he would, laughing and mimicking the man's French accent. He lost interest in Ariel's pursuit of Prince Eric and went upstairs with Justine.

"He's missing some great life lessons here." I sighed dramatically.

"What lesson is that? Don't make deals with sea witches?"

"That's surface level Ethan. I low key loved Ursula. She may be a witch, but she was real. Unfortunate Souls has a lot of truths in it."

"Like?" Ethan asked. I knew he was humoring me, but I explained.

"Ursula may have exploited the situation, but ultimately it was Ariel's choice. Ariel was willing to give up her voice, her family, her life for a man she didn't even know because she thought she loved him. How insecure do you have to be to sell a piece of yourself to be something you're not?" I asked.

Ethan nodded, but didn't respond.

"You know what always bothered me about this movie?" He finally spoke. "Ariel signed her name on the contract."

"Yes... To get her 'prince'." I confirmed, confused. I just said that...

"So she could write. Why didn't see just write to him?" Ethan proposed to me.

"Ohmygod. I never thought about that." I gasped. "Maybe she can just sign her name, but is illiterate?"

"Then how legally binding can the contract be if she can't read it?"

I had no idea if he was making a joke or being serious, but I cracked up laughing. I was sure he was joking when he chuckled with me.

"What's so funny?" EJ called from upstairs.

"The movie! Come watch the rest!" I called back.

"Nope." He responded shortly, causing me to laugh again. Ethan smiled as he watched me.

I cleared my throat. "You know you don't have to stay. Did you wanna go out?" I asked.

"No." He answered plainly.

"No? Are you still dating?"

"Some."

"Anyone special?"

"No. How about you?"

"Nope. I recently decided to take a break from dating and stuff." I admitted.

"Any particular reason why?"

"I'm just not ready for a relationship or the works that goes with it. I'm going to focus on myself for the time being."

"Makes sense."

We watched the rest of the movie in silence. After the movie, he helped me clean up before he left. I went upstairs with EJ and returned to social media by checking out the video he and Jayden posted on YouTube. I laughed at them attempting to read the Spanish packaging and trying the new foods.

Sunday morning EJ and I went to IHOP for breakfast. After I dropped him off with Ethan, I returned Bianca's call. I confirmed she was alone with no Noelle and explained what all transpired with Christian.

"I'm sorry Lily. I was hoping you were right about him being a decent guy, but I can't say I'm surprised." Bianca said, sympathetically.

"What kinda things did you hear from Noelle?"

"He's selfish and manipulative. Noelle said the drug usages was getting out of hand."

I knew about the selfishness and just witnessed the manipulation. The only drug I saw him use was marijuana. "Drug use? Like weed or harder stuff?"

"Both. He has nothing but yes men around him, agreeing with everything he does for the free ride. Noelle got out before it got worse."

I sighed deeply, disgusted that I even entertained the idea with having a family with him.

"I tried to tell you-"

"I know, I had to see it for myself." It made sense though, the mood swings and how selfish and generous he could be at the same time. I felt bad he didn't have anyone looking out for him, but I couldn't be that person. I had to battle my own demons. I couldn't be with someone who didn't even recognize his.

We talked about Bianca and what was going on with her fashion line. I was so proud and thrilled for her when she told me pieces were already being produced. She also told me how her sister Brittany was pregnant again. Out of wedlock again. With Aunt Patty's full support again.

"The hypocrisy is astounding. I'm so sorry B." I empathized.

"I'm ok. I use to second guess coming out, knowing that my mom was going to cut my off. I'm glad I'm living my own life, and she can live her hypocritical one." Bianca stated.

"I'm glad too." I agreed. "So another kid for Brittany. Is it the same guy she was living with?"

"No! It's another guy. They met on Instagram, he has two kids too. There moving into together like the fucking Brady Bunch. It's a hot mess."

"That sounds like a mess. Have you met him?"

"No. Is it bad I really don't want to?"

"Yes, it's bad, but I don't blame you."

We chatted a little while longer before I let her go. I then finally checked my Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

I had a message on Facebook from Jennifer, Christian's friend.

Lily,

I want to apologize. I feel like I'm somewhat responsible for Christian feeling like he needed to define your relationship. Talking to you both, I noticed you two had different feelings about your relationship and I did encourage him to talk to you. 

That being said, regardless of your previous actions, Christian really does care about you a lot. He is really torn up about the way things ended. I feel like even if you two decide to part ways, you should end on a honest note. I hope you will reach out to him for closure.

Hope to hear from you soon. I wish you the best. 

Jennifer.

I closed the message, wishing I just deleted it without reading. Where did she get off dispensing unsolicited advice about something she has no clue about.  My actions? What the fuck did he tell her? I reminded myself that it didn't matter what he told her. All that matter was that it was over.

It didn't end the way I wanted it to. I wanted to explain my feelings and thank him for everything he did for me. When he accused me of sleeping with Richard and posted that picture, all my plans went out the window. I'm not sure what happen at South by Southwest, but whatever occurred between him and Trevor was just that: between him and Trevor. I don't even know why they felt the need to speak to each other, but I was glad to be out of it. I was glad I was done with all of it.

After I deleted Jennifer's message, I posted my first update in the past 2 weeks. It was a meme of Ursula singing Poor Unfortunate Souls.  I captioned it: Mood.

Ex-Factor

"Care for me, care for me

You said you'd care for me

There for me, there for me

Said you'd be there for me

Cry for me, cry for me

You said you'd die for me

Give to me, give to me

Why won't you live for me?" Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill

After watching House Party, I was completely on board with a jammy jam for Rocky's birthday. Once we got Rocky's approval to throw the party, she asked me if I was ok with inviting Trevor. I told her I was perfectly fine with it as long as she invited Brandon too. Once she finalized the guest list, Forrest and I planned the party.

Forrest and I worked seamlessly together. We were on the exact same page with every aspect of the party except for the location and alcohol. I wanted to have it at my house with my makeshift bar courtesy of Sammy and the Honey Bees. Forrest wanted it at his house with no alcohol at all. Rocky didn't have a preference- as long as it wasn't at her house because she was deep cleaning.

"I have more space and bedrooms if people need to sleep over." I argued as we chatted outside the front of my house. Richard was working in the backyard, and because I wasn't supposed to know what the surprise was, I took Justine out in the front. Forrest was on Spring break, so he met up with me before I had to go to work.

"I have plenty of room for the amount of people Rocky invited. And with no alcohol, why would anyone need to sleep over?" Forrest pointed out.

"But why no alcohol?" I countered.

"The birthday girl can't drink." Forrest said plainly.

"I don't think she cares if others drink. Do you really think people are going to do Karaoke without being a little tipsy?" I questioned him.

"Fine. We don't need your bar for beer and wine coolers. I have an ice chest at my place." Forrest compromised.

I sighed. "Brandon will most likely come to the party. It should be on mutual grounds at my house."

"I want the best for Rocky and Ace just like he does. Anywhere should be mutual ground because we have that in common." Forrest stated eloquently.

"Fine. Your house it is." I conceded.

Once we had all the details in place, we divided up the work and created a Facebook event to invite everyone. Mostly everyone responded they were coming. Bilal commented that he had to work, but wished Rocky a happy birthday and told her not to party too hard. I liked his comment, secretly hoping Trevor would stay in Austin with him. He hadn't responded to the invite at all.

On Thursday, I went shopping with the girls for Pajamas. I brought my lime green Fenty fur slides along for the trip. The only requirement was that whatever I got matched.

"Ohhh, that's super cute. I love the silk! We should all wear silk Pjs like TLC!" Mia gushed to me at Macy's as I looked through silk pajama sets.

"No. This is for Rocky and she said no one else better pick out a silk set." I warned her.

"Fine. She needs all the material to cover up. Lets go look at some lingerie!" Mia clapped her hands. When Amber followed, I looked over at Staci, exasperated. Staci held back her grin.

Mia was being sickeningly sweet to me all afternoon; I was instantly suspicious of her intentions. Staci confirmed that she was trying to get in good with me so she would get an invite on the next trip. There were so many reasons why that wasn't happening. I took pictures of a couple options and sent it to Rocky.

"This is sexy. Dominic would love this." Mia cooed, holding up a black lacy bustier.

I looked away as she mentioned one reason being her friend would be impossible: I knew the truth about her faux boyfriend. Either she knew and was playing along or she didn't and Dominic was lying to her. It was too messy for me to deal with.

"This is cute too." Amber told Mia holding up a dark blue nightie. Mia ended up buying both and I bought the silk shorts set Rocky preferred.

At a small boutique, Staci saw some cute blue stripped knee length socks in a display window that she loved. We went inside, and browsed around. Mia held up a long sleeved Lucky Charms sleep shirt to me.

"This is the only thing that matches your house shoes." Mia snickered.

"They're Fenty slides. And I actually love that." I took the sleep shirt and held it up to my body. It barely reached my mid thigh with slits on the side, but I would wear shorts underneath it just in case.

"Lily, we can be the breakfast club." Staci smiled, finding a Tony the Tiger tank dress with his picture and the tag line "They're Greeeeeaaaat!"on them.

"I want in!" Amber searched until she found a yellow Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs tank and shorts.

Mia reluctantly picked a Fruit Loop Pajama bottoms and matching tank to be included. They made plans to meet at Staci's place to pregame before the party on Saturday and I told them I'd see them at the party.

Friday I had my doctor's appointment with Dr. Pereira. I told her my plans to keep doing the best thing for my clients at my job and let Adil and the rest of them play politics. I also touched on my trip to Miami with Christian and his declaration of wanting to be in a relationship. I detailed how I still was going to date him and stop hooking up with Uriel until I decided if I wanted to be in a relationship with him.

I also talked about Trevor possibly being in town for Rocky's birthday. He still hadn't responded to the Facebook invite. It would make the most sense if he didn't come, especially the way he avoided me at the baby shower. She mostly stayed quiet and took notes as I talked, but she did ask how I would feel if he came. I shrugged and repeated what Ethan said about taking what he could from the situation and revealed I would try that approach.

"That's interesting. What do you think you can take from your relationship with Trevor?" She questioned me.

"To work on myself and my insecurities so I can have healthy relationships."

"What did you take from your relationship with Jake?" Dr. Pereira continued.

"That I shouldn't change who I am or force a relationship because I'm afraid to be alone."

"And Ethan?"

"We weren't really in a relationship..." I trailed off.

She looked up from her notes. "You told me you thought you loved him before."

"Yeah, thought. I think that was tied into him being my first and getting pregnant and losing our baby. I don't know if those feelings were ever really real." I over explained, fidgeting as Dr. Pereira watched me. 

"What?" I said, under her scrutiny.

"I noticed how uncomfortable it makes you talking about Ethan. Even more so than Trevor and you're worried about seeing him. Why do you think that is?"

"I mean, I know why there's tension with Trevor and I'm ready for it."

"You don't know why there's tension with Ethan? You don't know how to prepare for him?" Dr. Pereira asked, but they were more like statements.

"Nothing to prepare for. Sometime it's awkward because we never talked about everything that happened between us, but it's better this way. " I clarified.

"And what way is that?"

"Not dredging up the past. We decided a long time ago that we were better off as friends and we're ok. No hard feelings."

"No lingering feelings at all, correct?"

"Right. No lingering feelings at all." I confirmed quickly.

"For him as well?"

"I don't know. You would have to ask him." I folded my arms.

"Fair enough. Has he done or said anything that made you feel like there might be feelings there?" She asked.

I thought about how he looked at me on Sunday...

"I don't know." I said after a pause.

"Lily-"

"I truly don't know." I stopped her. "He's really hard to read sometimes and maybe I read him wrong. If he wants me to know, he will tell me what's on his mind. If he doesn't say anything, I don't try to guess. So no, he hasn't said or done anything to make me feel like there are feelings there." I finished before we moved on.

The more I thought about it, the more Sunday kept replaying in my mind. Not only the way Ethan looked at me, but how he confessed that he did sometimes wish he could forget a relationship. If it wasn't Serena or Megan, it had to be me. What couldn't he forget? What did he want to forget? Did he just take what he could from me and move on because he couldn't be with me? He told me years ago that he didn't want to be with me; did that ever change for him?

At the end of the day, it didn't matter. The past was the past and I was moving forward. I had enough to deal with with my own feelings. I couldn't take on Ethan's hypothetically ones. I had to focus on what I could control and that was myself.

Saturday morning, I got up, turned on my music and started prepping food for the party. I video chatted with Christian as I worked. He was in Bora Bora, filming the video for Nomadic. He Factimed me while he was getting his make up done.

"I knew your abs were fake." I teased him, as his make-up artist pressed powder on his chest and abs.

"You know better." He responded with a pointed look.

"Do I? They can do all types of sorcery with make-up nowadays."

"The next time I see you, the first thing we're doing is taking a shower. You know what I want when I'm right?" He asked, brazenly.

"A hi-five?" I said, playfully, not wanting to talk about that in front of someone else.

"I can think of a better use for your hand." He continued, suggestively.

"Anyway..." I replied, changing the subject. "The bungalow over the water is so beautiful. Are you staying there?" I noticed the pictures Keosha posted on Instagram was exactly like the bungalow that Christian was at right now.

"No. After the shot is over, I'm on a flight to NY to debut the video."

"Do you ever get to visit the places you travel to?" I wondered about his schedule.

"Not recently because of the album. After it's released, I can make my own schedule, spend more time in each city. Get inspiration for more songs. In fact, start planning a trip for early next year." Christian encouraged me with a smile.

"That sounds like work, not a trip. I don't want to distract you." I smiled back.

"You would inspire me, not distract me. You said you wanted to experience a Carnival right? Pick a city and we're there."

"I'll research it and get back to you." I said, lightheartedly, knowing I needed to decide what I wanted before I planned a trip with him for next year.

After I got off the phone, I continued to cook. Forrest keep texting me last minute, mundane things. When he text me about the placement of bean bags he rented, I gave him a call. He sounded stressed out so I asked him if he wanted me to finish my cooking at his house so we could get everything ready, together. He said it was up to me, but I figured I would get more done quicker if I didn't have to answer his texts. I went ahead and loaded everything in my car and headed to his place.

I had no idea why he was stressing. The place look amazing. The couch was covered with neon pillows, chairs with multi-colored covers, bean bags were placed strategically on the floor, balloons were scattered throughout the room, and a graffiti scene setter with 90's slang covered the wall. I made him drink a beer, put on my getting ready for a night out play list, and danced around as we finished cooking. An hour before guest were set to arrive, Forrest went to get Rocky while I went to the guest room to get ready. 

My sleep shirt, black athletic shorts, and Fenty slides completed my outfit. I put my wavy hair in french braids and applied minimum make-up. I sent a selfie to Christian posing in the mirror, before I went to the living room and turned on the 80's and 90s old school music that Rocky loved. The doorbell rang 5 minutes before party time and I went to answer it. I grinned when I saw Blake and Jordan, looking adorable in matching Cowboys pajamas.

"No Jordan! He converted you to the dark side." I said, letting them in.

"The best side." Jordan hugged me.

"America's team." Blake boasted as they made their way into the house.

"No wonder people think so little of America." I joked.

Peyton and Chris arrived next in flannel PJ sets, then Gigi, Amber, and Staci arrived right on time. I smiled when I saw Gigi was part of the breakfast club with a Snap Crackle Pop Pajama set.

When Richard came, I gave him a hug. "Did you really show up in your underwear?" I teased. He was wearing a muscle tank and boxer shorts.

"This is overdressed for bed." He grinned lecherously.

"Gross. Too much info." I laughed.

"No. Too much info would be if I told you what I did late at night, thinking about you-"

I covered his mouth to stop him. "Eww. Stop. I'm not drunk enough for your harassment."

We went to the kitchen to grab a drink. We both got Lime A Ritas, or thot juice as Richard called them, and posted a video on Snapchat. When I noticed it was 30 minutes past the start time and still no Rocky, I called Forrest.

"We're on the way. Go ahead and get started." Forrest explained. 

Mia arrived with Dominic next. After a quick hi and bye to him, me, Amber, Staci, Gigi and Mia took pictures together in our cereal gear. I had Richard take pictures with my phone. He grinned at us. "Can I be the milk?"

"Shut up and take the picture Richard!" I yelled at him over the music.

Forrest and Rocky finally showed up, and we all cheered and wished happy birthday to the birthday girl. She looked incredible in the soft lavender silk pajama shorts set. She had a huge smile on her face and looked radiant as she greeted everyone before taking her seat in the recliner reserved for her. Forrest was relaxed and looked happy and stress free as he got himself and Rocky something to eat. They were eating and chatting with everyone when Brandon, Jake, Dino, Ethan, and Daniel arrived together.

"Party's here!" I exclaimed, way too excited and loud as I gave Brandon another long hug.

"I think it's not awkward anymore." Brandon smiled, patting my back before I pulled away.

"Great." I cheered, my eyes finding Ethan's, curious to how he would respond to me. He gave me a friendly nod and I smiled at him, giving him a glance over. He looked great in gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. I loved the way gray sweat pants fit on guys, especially in the front...

"You gonna let us in or what?" Jake quipped.

I looked away from Ethan to Jake. "I don't know. Are you house broken Tarzan?" I poked fun at his cheetah print pajama set that match perfectly with Dino's nightie and robe. Gotta admit, he looked good too.

"You look beautiful Dino." I gave her a quick hug before leading them into the living room. Brandon, Jake and Dino made their way over to Rocky.

"Thanks Lily. No hug or compliments for me?" Daniel pulled my attention from Brandon and Forrest greeting each other.

"I'm sure there's someone else you want compliments from. She's in the blue Frosted Flakes dress." I nodded to Staci in the living room swaying to the music.

"Breakfast of champions." Daniel smiled.

"That's Wheaties." Ethan corrected him.

"Close enough. I'll catch up with you later. Get lucky." Daniel chuckled, clapping Ethan on the back as he blatantly stared at the magically delicious tag line scrawled on my Lucky Charms shirt. He headed towards Staci, leaving me alone with Ethan as my face flushed.

I cleared my throat. "So you ready to bust out those dance moves?" I asked, referring to the choreograph dances in the movie. While we were watching them together, I joked with him to get ready to do them with me at the party.

"Yes. You get started and I'll join in." He responded, mockingly.

A giggle escaped my lips, until I realized how flirty it sounded and covered my mouth. He smirked at me and I couldn't help staring at his lips-

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" I snapped out of it, backing away, right into Gigi. I jumped, and Ethan grabbed my shoulders to steady me. I stepped away from his warm hands and turned to apologize to Gigi.

"You're all good. Relax." She grinned at me. "You didn't have any more gummy bears did you?" She teased.

Amber, who was standing next to Gigi, cracked up.

"Not funny." I gasped.

"Gummy bears?" Ethan asked, interested.

"Nothing. Let's get you a drink."

I left Ethan in the kitchen with Will and step into the bathroom. I came back out and saw Sammy had arrived with Sophie. They both wore red and black camisole shorts set, respectively.

"Hey. You made it." I greeted Sammy, politely.

"Hey, you made it. I thought you might be globe trotting with Christian." Sammy gave me a wryly smile.

"Not this weekend." I replied.

"Do you know where Christian is taking you next?" Mia asked while pulling Dominic to the middle of the living room to dance.

That was the main reason Mia and I would never be friends. She couldn't care less about being friends with me until I started dating Christian. I didn't need fake people around me.

"Nowhere." I said, leaving to join Richard across the room against the wall, watching Mia and Dominic grind to Close by Next.

"You wanna go show them up?" I nudged him, playfully.

"Nope. I didn't bring my skates for ex games." Richard said, taking a sip of his 2nd drink.

I snorted.

"Get it? Skates? X-games?" He grinned.

"I got it. It was just lame." I laughed. I hung out with Richard for a few more song before I noticed people finishing eating and grouping off together. Since everyone who stated they were attending was here, I grabbed the mic from my karaoke stand and handed it to Forrest.

"Wish her a happy birthday and stuff so we can start karaoke." I told him.

"Guys, thank you so much for coming out to celebrate the beautiful Racqelle's birthday." Forrest announced on the mic. When everyone stopped cheering, he began again. "I can stand up here and give a speech about how wonderful you are Rocky, but we'd be up here all night and I know Lily is ready to start Karaoke."

"Damn right!" I declared making him laugh.

 

"Before she starts butchering songs, here's one of your favorites that makes me think of you. Happy birthday Rocky." He started the music again on the speaker and "So Into You" by Tamia started playing. Amidst the ooos and awwws by the ladies in the crowd, Forrest leaned over Rocky and she beamed as she grabbed his face for a kiss on the lips.

I noticed Brandon get up and head for the kitchen. I was on my way to follow, but Ethan waved me off and followed him. I instead picked out my song for Karaoke. When the song ended, I grabbed the mic and turned it back on.

"First of all Forrest, I don't butcher, I slay! Second of all, happy birthday Rocky! I love you. Now get up here! I need you to be the salt to my pepper! This song is dedicated to you and Ace." It took some convincing and chanting before she finally came up. When "Push It" came on, Rocky grinned and grabbed the mic from me. "I'm Peppa."

Rocky and I danced, sang and killed the song. On my verse, I grabbed Brandon and made him dance with us. He was a great sport, and when the song was over we both gave him a hug as everyone cheered. Once Rocky and I got it started, others lined up to take on their favorite old school song. It was a great time, everyone was singing, dancing or cheering on each other. They was some playful ribbing, but it was all in good fun. I even went again when Amber demanded the breakfast club girls sing to "Jumpin Jumpin" by Destiny's Child.

"Y'all know there were other genres beside R&B, pop and hip hop right?" Blake called out after our performance.

"Not at my party!" Rocky laughed at him.

"No, it's ok. I got him." I smiled and changed the song. 

When Cotton Eye Joe came on, I laughed when everyone booed and jeered. Blake grabbed the mic from me. I knew it was going to be a country song and I was right. He sang Lonestar "Amazed" to Jordan which was entire too sweet for me. I went into the kitchen to grab some food.

While I was making my plate and chatting with Peyton, Jake joined us. When Peyton left to take a plate to Chris, Jake stood next to me.

"I'm guessing by your trip to Miami, you took my advice about Richard?" He asked me.

"No, I didn't. Richard and I are great. Why do you ask?" I challenged, taking a bite of my slider.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "So you and Richard and you and Christian?"

"That's right. Boyfriend number one and boyfriend number two." I said, cheekily.

He huffed a laugh. "Sure. I don't believe you, but ok. Be careful and be safe."

"Always." I told him. "And... Whatever you think you may have picked up on Richard, or anyone else, can you keep it to yourself?"

"I have." He nodded. 

When he went to leave, I stopped him. "Thank you. I'm good, but thanks for looking out for me."

"Always." He smiled before leaving.

While I was finishing my food, I heard a big commotion in the living room. I walked out with my plate and barely held on to it when I saw Trevor and J-Mike. Trevor and J-Mike both looked like Hugh Hefner wanna-bes with robs, slippers and their hair slicked back. Trevor even came complete with a blonde playmate in a pink baby doll, matching boyshorts and heels. 

I retreated to the kitchen and threw my plate away. Forrest joined me and handed me a beer.

"You ok?" He asked me.

"No." I grabbed it and took a long swig. "I told you we needed hard liquor." I deflected with a joke.

"I'm serious. I have no problem kicking him out." Forrest said, dead serious.

"No. It's not worth it. Let's go celebrate Rocky's birth." I smiled weakly.

Almost every one of my friends sent me sympathetic glances when I returned to the living room. I keep my head up and sat on a bean bag with Richard after he patted the seat for me. I tried not to worry about them and turned my attention to the death glare Blake was giving J-Mike as he laughed at something neither Blake nor Jordan found funny.

Eventually, I lost the battle and watched Trevor as he sat with his arm around her, chatting with everyone. He looked good: tanned and healthy, but his smiles didn't lite up his face like they used to...

I tore my eyes from him to her. She had golden blonde hair that was perfectly straight and fell to her lower back. Her cloudy blue eyes were framed with dark thick lashes. She was absolutely beautiful and they made a stunning couple. I can't lie, it crushed me.

"You need me to get my skates on?" Richard asked me, putting his arm around my shoulder.

"Huh?" I grunted, watching as Trevor took off his robe to give to her.

"X-games. Your ex came to play them. Wanna beat him at his own game?" Richard tempted me, as I tore my eyes from Trevor.

"No. Games are for children. I'm too grown for that." I said, almost believing myself.

"I'm not. Be right back." Richard hopped up from the bean bag.

"No- Richard, stop." I tried to grab his arm but he shook me off and he headed to the front of the room. I covered my face when he grabbed the mic.

"Every note is for you Lily." Richard said. I looked up when "Ignition" by R. Kelly started to play. It brought the mood back up in the party as everyone sang and danced along with him. He eventually grabbed me and made me sing while he danced on me. I smiled at his corny old school dance moves and was laughing by the time the song was over.

"Thank you." I whispered in his ear with a smile as we returned to the bean bag.

"Anytime." He smiled back, kissing me on the cheek. "This is going to drive him crazy. Is it friendly kiss? Is it more? He won't know what to think." He said softly in my ear. I shook my head and pulled away.

J-Mike got up and snatched the Mic, announcing "I got one!".

He walked over to the karaoke machine and picked his song. Sublime's "Wrong Way" came on and he sang the first few bars to me.

"Annie's twelve years old, in two more, she'll be a whore
Nobody ever told her it's the wrong way"

He hammed it up, loving the attention and singing with everyone. When he tried to sing to Jordan, kneeling in front of her, Blake kicked the mic out of his hand. It took everything in me not to crack up laughing  as J-Mike picked up the mic and Forrest turned the karaoke machine off.

Richard whispered "mic drop" and I couldn't hold back my laughter. I had to leave the room and went outside to calm down. Richard followed me, but made it worse by letting me know he got it all on camera.

"I knew some shit was about to pop off when he started singing. I thought you were going to stomp him." Richard laughed, playing on his phone.

"Last year, I might have tried." I admitted, honestly, silently thanking Dr. Pereira.

Amber came out to check on us and we both laughed at the video as Richard put it in slow motion. I was wiping tears from my eyes when I heard a familiar song playing. A sick feeling came over me as I recognized the opening strains and the voice singing it.

"What's wrong?" Amber asked me, catching my change of mood.

"Nothing." I said, walking back into the house.

Sure enough, Trevor was singing "Truly Madly Deeply". The cheesy, romantic love song he knew I loved. The one he played on my brother's wedding video after public confessing his love for me, convincing me without a doubt I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. The song I still couldn't hear without thinking of him. He was singing it with his blonde, watching my every move as I walked back in the room.
I leaned against the wall, the pain and anguish making me unsteady on my feet.

I wanted to turn the pain into rage: it was easier to deal with. I wanted to grab the mic out of his hand and beat him with it. Instead, I just stood there and watched. I watched every second of his painful performance, reminding myself this was the man I cut off: Not the person who adopted Justine for me or built me a food house or loved me when I didn't love myself enough. I needed to remember this person; a man who could take something so sweet and meant so much to me and twist it until something ugly. 

When the song was over, I closed my eyes, repeating my self affirmations and reminding myself of the person I was and who I wanted to be. Once I had my feelings under control, I walked over to Rocky to hug her goodbye.

"I'm going to head out. Enjoy your birthday." I told her as we embraced.

"Are you ok?" She asked me, searching my face for any cracks in my armour. I just smiled.

"I'm ok. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you too Lily."

I waved and said bye to everyone else.

"You leaving already?" Trevor asked me, a sardonic smile on his face.

"Yes. I don't think anyone is going to top your performance. Great job. Your mom would be so proud." I answered, calmly, turning around so I didn't have to see his reaction. It fucking hurt but I welcomed the pain. That was what I was taking from our relationship: we brought out the worst in each other now. I needed to get out of there before the worst part of myself made an appearance. I was at my car when someone grabbed my hand.

I jerked away, and they just gripped me tighter. I glared at whoever touched me in the dark until I recognized Ethan. "I'm fine, really. I just need to go." I said as calmly as I could muster.

"Ok. Text me when you make it home." He squeezed my hand.

I nodded and waited for him to let go of me before I got in my car and took off.  I didn't even realize where I was going until I was there. I just knew I didn't want to go home and be alone with my thoughts quite yet. I sat outside Uriel's apartment for a few moments before I text him.

 

Me: Do you still want to get together?

I waited, ignoring phone calls and text from my friends for a couple minutes before Uriel finally text me back.

Uriel: When?

Me: Right now. I'm outside your apartment.

Uriel: Give me 5 minutes.

I text Ethan that I made it home before I went up to Uriel's apartment.