Sucker for Pain

Sorry! I know the post is shorter but I didn't want to go another week without posting.


"I torture you
Take my hand through the flames
I torture you
I’m a slave to your games
I’m just a sucker for pain
I wanna chain you up
I wanna tie you down
I’m just a sucker for pain" Sucker for Pain by Imagine Dragons, Lil Wayne, Logic, Ty Dolla $ign, and Wiz Khalifa

Christian decided next weekend in New York would be the best time for me to visit. He really wanted me to see him at the Ultra Music Festival because I wasn't going to South by Southwest, but he didn't want to wait that long to see each other. A week wasn't a lot of time to plan, but I was so anxious to see him and figure out what was between us, that I quickly agreed to see if I could make it work.

My first call was to Amanda to see if she could watch Justine for me. I would normally ask Sammy as both Amber and Rocky had enough on their plates, but things were still strained with her. I didn't reach out unless she reached out to me and since I hadn't heard from her, I didn't ask. Besides, I wanted an excuse to talk with Amanda anyway.

Amanda quickly agreed to watch Justine, saying she owed me for not telling her sister about her being with her ex on Valentine's day.

"That's your business Amanda. I'm not going to tell anyone." I started, while thinking about something Dr. Pereira told me once about secrets and how the one's we keep are often the ones we need to share. "Why does it have to be a secret?"

"It's not a secret or anything. I just like my privacy." She said quickly.

I felt that wasn't the whole truth, but I let it go. For now. "Ok, but since you owe me, let's hang out when I get back in town."

"Ok. Text me when you want to drop Justine off."

"I will."

After I got off the phone with Amanda, I sent Christian a text.

Me: I'm good for New York this weekend!!! {Praise emoji hands}

Christian: That's whats up. I'll send your flight confirmation.

Me: Thank you! What should I pack though?

Christian: Bring that skirt you wore to the baby shower

I smiled as I text him back.

Me: For real, what are we doing so I know what to pack?

Christian: I'm shooting my video Friday and Saturday we're going to a show. Other than that my schedule is free for us. 

Me: ok... So we'll have time to start a flash mob in Time's Square!

Christian: We are not going to Time's Square. It's a tourist trap.

Me: But I'm a tourist...

Christian: You're not a tourist. You're a guest in my city.

Me: How bout listening to Empire State of Mind while at the Empire State building?

Christian: How bout I plan where I'm going to take you?

Me: As long as you walk to Junior's to get me a Cheesecake, I'm good.

Christian: You're not Diddy...

Me: Fine. I'll take a hotdog from a vendor. Is that native enough?

Christian: I'm not feeding you from a street cart. I got you. Trust me.

Me: I do

Tuesday, I went to my boxing workout and was surprised I didn't see Dominick there. He hadn't been to the workouts I attended the week before. I was closer to Richard and spoke to him on a regular basis either through text or social media, but I definitely notice Dominick's absence at the gym. After a grueling session with his dad, I asked about him. He grunted and said that he lacked discipline. I didn't think anything else about it before I left for work.

At my lunch at work, I saw that Amber called me.

"I'm pissed at you!" Amber exclaimed when I called her back.

"Huh? What did I do?" I said, before taking a bite of the turkey and cheese sandwich I bought.

"You didn't come out Sunday night. When do I ever get the chance to go out?" She vented to me. Had I know Amber was calling because she was upset, I would have put off the abuse until I got off work.

"Um... All the time. You and Will have date nights, I've seen you meet up with co-worker for happy hour-" I started.

"That's different! I have to spend time with Will and half the time I meet my coworkers before we go to work. We are supposed to have girl's night, or are we not doing that anymore?" She argued.

I wanted to point out that going out with her husband shouldn't be something she felt like she had to do, nor was happy hour an appropriate spot to meet up at before work, but I knew that wouldn't end her rant.

"I'm sorry. We'll plan something soon."

"This weekend?"

"I can't-"

"Oh wow! Why can't you hang out this time?" She cut me off, frustrated.

"I'm going to New York City to see Christian-" before I could even finish, she squealed in my ear.

"Good for you girl! You betta get it!" Amber cheered me on.

"Get what exactly?" I said, equally startled and relieved at her sudden attitude change.

"Everything!!!" She laughed.

"I gotta get back to work so I'll talk to you later!" I said before I hung up.

I was updating the huddle board at the end of the night, when the evening receptionist paged me with a phone call. I went to the team lead office to answer it.

"This is Lily." I answer politely.

"No. I asked to speak to the person in charge. Get Clayton on the line!" A rude man commanded me, sharply.

"Dr. Clayton is the morning team lead. I'm in charge of evenings. How can I assist you?" I asked, patiently.

"You can assist me by getting your therapist to follow my rehab plan." He barked back.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" I hoped my voice stayed pleasant. It took everything not to snap back at him.

"I'm Clyde Dennison, athletic trainer of Paul Bolen. Can you do your job so I can do mine and have him back on the court in 3 weeks?" He continued to berated me.

"I'll take a look at his chart and get back to you." I responded, noncommittally.

"Yeah, you do that. I'll be getting in touch with Fahri!" He finished before hanging up.

"Jackass." I mumbled to myself as I hung up the phone. I pulled out my tablet and looked over the chart for Paul Bolen. He was a player on the team I hadn't even heard of. I read over his chart and saw he had a small tibia fracture 4 weeks ago that was originally accessed as an ACL tear by the trainer. A MRI confirmed there was no tear, but the team physician still had not cleared him to play. I took a look at the last therapist that worked with him. Fallon Barber, and she left an hour earlier. I set myself a reminder to talk to her the next day.

Wednesday morning, Christian sent me the airport conformation for not only me, but for Justine. I smiled to myself, thrilled that he included Justine. I sent my friends a text to let them know we would be out of town during the weekend, including a message to Amanda that I didn't need her to take care of Justine. In the group text, Forrest offered to take me to the airport. I quickly agreed. Normally, I would just get an Uber or a cab but since Forrest offered, I definitely took him up on it.

When I arrived at work, I spoke to Dr. Clayton before he went to lunch about the phone call I had with Clyde Dennison. He told me he never had any problems with Clyde and that he was a fine guy to work with. I seriously doubted that considering how not great he was over the phone, but I kept my opinion to myself. After my daily huddle with my team, I pulled Fallon to the side and asked her about our client.

"I know it's a small break, but I'm afraid if he does too much he's going to make it worse. I'm focusing on strength training to protect his knee." She explained, tucking her dark braids behind her ear.

"That makes sense. Have you explained this to his trainer?" I asked.

She flinched and I automatically knew he had given her the same attitude he gave me. "Once, but he wanted to focus more on speed. I'll start today." She promised, nervously.

"No. You do what's right for the client." I told her. When she looked surprised, I continued. "If anyone tells you differently, come talk to me." I reassured her. She nodded and left the room. During my lunch, I tried to call Clyde Dennison back, but I got his voicemail. I looked up his email on the site directory and I typed an email to send to him. It read:

Mr. Dennison,
Thank you for taking the time to reach out to me. Attached you will find the rehabilitation schedule for Paul Bolen. Per the conversation you had with one of our therapist, the main focus is regaining strength to prevent further harm. The plan clearly states the estimated time frame, but if you have any other questions or concerns feel free to give me a call.
Warm Regards,
Lily Harris
Team Lead

I forward it to Fahri with a note that Mr. Dennison might be giving him a call regarding our client. I also cc'd Dr. Clayton so he would be aware of everything before I went back on the floor to assist with clients.

Thursday morning, Adil was at the clinic when I got there. I thought he was there to finally help out, but I was sadly mistaken when he pulled me into the office.

"I spoke to Clyde Dennison this morning." He started.

"Good? So we're on the same page?" I stated.

"He is not but that's why my role was created; to be the go between the therapist, trainers and doctors and to solve this type of problem. He doesn't understand why we won't implement his plan." Adil informed me.

"The problem to me is he does not understand his role. As therapists, we pick the rehabilitation plan. His job is to prevent and assess injuries, both of which he failed to do for our client."

"I agree. I still wanted to speak to you about there being any room for compromise." Adil question, giving me a critical look.

"The only thing I can compromise is our client's well being. I'm not willing to do that that."

His probing stare relaxed and a small smile formed on his face. "You always did like to do things the hard way."

"No, the right way." I corrected him.

"I have somg good news: I have 2 interns starting next week to help in the evenings."

"Great. Thank you."

"No thank you. Keep up the good work."

Friday morning, I had my appointment with Dr. Pereira. I told her about my job and the comment Adil made about me liking to do the things the hard way. She asked me where I thought that came from. I explained how I spent my whole childhood trying to be obedient. I believed being defiant and obstinate were signs of independence. She asked me if I felt like I still needed to do so in order to feel independent. I told her I didn't. I honestly felt like I was doing the right thing at work and that was more important than any fallout that came along with it.

I didn't hear anything from Adil or Clyde Dennison on Friday, so I put the whole thing out of my mind. After work, I rushed home to get ready before my flight. On my way home, Forrest called me letting me know he was on his way to my house.

When I got home, I barley had time to change before the door bell rang. I went to the door and let Forrest in. He immediately helped me bring my things to the car. Once we got Justine, me and my bag settled, we headed to the airport. I asked him what was new with him on the drive.

"How is work?" I asked him.

"I would say I'm ready for spring break, but that's the beginning of spring football." He lamented.

"What's wrong with that? You love football season."

"Politics. I told Rocky. She didn't tell you?"

"No! Is that how it is now? I have to get updates about you from her?" I teased.

"No. I thought she might have mentioned it."

"I think she was preoccupied with you meeting her family. How was it?" I asked, wanting his impression of her mom.

"It was great." He said, sincerely.

"Really? Even her mom?"

"Especially her mom." He confirmed with a nod. "I know Rocky was stressed about it, but I think it went well."

"Yeah, Rocky has been stressing a lot lately. It's hormones." I shrugged.

"That's what you think?" He asked, skeptically.

"That's what I know." When he looked unconvinced, I asked him. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing." He shook his head. "So you and Christian? Are y'all a thing now?" He asked, switching gears.

"I don't know about all that." I replied.

"Well, what do you know?"

"He knows that I'm not completely over Trevor, but he says he willing to wait it out."

"You told him that?" Forrest questioned, looking over at me.

"Yes. I had to be honest with him. I really thought he wouldn't want to hang out with me. I don't know why he still does. I wouldn't stick around if I knew he was still trying to get over his ex. Who, by the way, is dating my cousin. The whole things is weird." I confided in him.

"Does it feel weird when you spend time together?"

"Sometimes; and then other times, it's complete normal. And natural. I don't know if it's me making it weird or if it is weird."

We arrived at the airport and Forrest pulled up in the drop off lane. "Well, take this time to figure it out. That's what dating is for."

"Yeah. I know. That's exactly what I'm doing. Still, there's a small part of me that thinks maybe he's a masochist for wanting to date me." I said, jokingly, as we got out the car. He grabbed my bag from the backseat as I grabbed Justine's leash and carrier. "Thank you again for the ride. I owe you dinner when I get back."

"Bring me back a cheesecake from Junior's and we'll be even" He smiled, handing over my rolling duffel.

"I seriously told Christian I wanted the same thing!" I laughed, giving him a hug.

Forrest chuckled as he hugged me back. When we pulled apart, he looked me in the eyes. "I'm sure he sees something special about you that's worth waiting on. That doesn't make him a masochist; It makes him patient. Continue being honest with him and make sure you see something special about him too." he advised me.

I nodded, something in his tone making me want to question him, but he looked away and I did the same.

"I will." I promised, sparing him one last glance before I left.