Collide

"I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide" Collide by Howie Day

I waited for maybe a minute before I heard the doorknob turn. My nerves went haywire when the door finally opened. I smiled, nervously when Ethan’s eyes met mine. His eyes widened in surprise as he looked me over. I took that time to study him too. I know it's cliché, but he was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He was taller than me at 6’2, with smoldering dark brown eyes and smooth pecan brown skin. His lean built frame made the plain jeans and t-shirt he was wearing look so sexy. He was wearing his signature Nikes, a blue pair I have not seen before. He looked better in person than in the minimal photos on his social media that I occasional stalked.

I wondered if he was dissecting every little thing about me like I was about him. I hadn't changed that much physically. My hair was layered and chestnut brown with ombre tips, something my poor graduate student self did not have the time nor money for. My body was toned from the chicken, fish and turkey diet my father lived by that I mostly adhered to and my commitment to work out at least 4 times a week. Everything else about me was the same: same hazel eyes, 5'9, permanent bronze skin due to my mixed ethnicity.

"Lily... Hey." He recovered with a small smile.

"Hey." I said, nervously. We stood there, staring, till I cleared my throat. "Sorry for just dropping in on you."

"Oh. It’s ok. Come on in." I sighed in relief as he opened the door to let me in. I followed him as he led us to his kitchen. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No, that's fine. Were you on your way out?" I asked, noticing the quiet of the house, his shoes, and the keys on the counter.

"I have time." He answered plainly.

"I just realized you changed your number. I tried to get in touch with you at your office, but Shelly told me that you've been working remotely."

"Yeah, it's Spring Break for EJ. I was spending some time with him." Ethan explains.

"Awesome. Any plans?" I asked him, trying to ignore how weird this conversation was: small talk like strangers.

It had been almost 2 years now.

"You know my mom always plans something; this year was a stay-cation in Grapevine. We're going to do Legoland."

"Aw, I'm sure he's going to love that. I watched the Lego Movie because he recommended it. I was singing 'Everything is Awesome' for like a month" I commented. He smiled at me, and it gave me the confidence to continue.

"Um, I actually wanted to talk to you. I don't know if you heard that I was moving back to Dallas, but I am." I paused to wait for his reaction. When he just stared, unaffected, I felt uneasy and flustered all over again. "I was wondering if it's ok if I started hanging around again. For EJ. With EJ I mean. Geez, let me try that again." I took a deep breath, avoiding his eyes. "Is it ok if I start being a part of EJ's life again?" I finally asked.

Something flashed in his eyes, but it was gone before I could decipher what it was.

"When did you ever stop? He always brags he's the only kid that gets year-round gifts from his best friend Lily." Ethan replied.

I felt tears well up in my eyes. I could not believe EJ remembered that. We kept in touch over the phone and with the care packages I sent him, but I didn't think he would remember how close we were or the nicknames we called each other. I smiled to hide my tears.

"I really gotta get going now." He said abruptly, heading to the door.

"Of course." I followed him to the front door. I was stepping out the door when he stopped me.

"Hey. You need my new number right?"

"Oh yeah. So I don't have to stalk you to get in touch with you." I joked, putting his number in my phone.

"Alright, see ya"

"See ya soon"