Viva Las Vegas (Outro)

"I'm gonna keep on the run

I'm gonna have me some fun

If it costs me my very last dime

If I wind up broke up well

I'll always remember that I had a swingin' time

I'm gonna give it ev'rything I've got

Lady luck please let the dice stay hot

Let me shout a seven with ev'ry shot

Viva Las Vegas, viva Las Vegas,

Viva, viva Las Vegas"

Viva Las Vegas by Elvis Presley

The best sleep I had all week was interrupted by my name being shouted and the bed beneath me shaking.

"We said no sleeping!!!"

I could barely make out what Rocky was saying in between her slurred speech and jumping on the bed.

"Whatever." I grumbled, attempting to open my eyes, but the light radiating from the lamp was too bright. "What happen to Marvin Gaye?"

"He's dead. Dad shot him." Rocky said, with one big bounce before I felt her lay down beside me.

"No, the guy you were talking to. You were supposed to get it on with him."  I yawned.

"Fuck him." Rocky declared, moving around in the bed.

"Did you?"

"No. I leaked, he ran. Fuck him." She repeated.

"You leaked?" I said, completely confused thinking maybe I heard her incorrectly. Why would he run at her getting wet? Her only response was deep breathing. I opened my eyes to see Rocky, fully dressed under the covers, make-up still on, hair all over her head and knocked out. I looked over at Jenna's bed and saw that she was sleeping soundly. I turned off the lamp and went back to sleep.

The room phone ringing woke me up a second time. I didn't fully wake up until I heard Jenna answer the phone, telling whoever it was on the line she would wake us up. I got up slowly, rubbing my eyes as I turned to Jenna.

"Hey. What time is it?" I asked her.

"9. That was Beatrice, seeing if we are up and ready for brunch." Jenna told me.

"I will be in 30 minutes." I said, getting out of bed. I tried to wake up Rocky, but she grunted and said something incoherent so I let her sleep. I tried to call Bianca and when she didn't answer, I sent a text message to call me back. I needed to talk to her to see if she was coming to brunch and if she knew Christian would be at the party last night.

Jenna came out the bathroom, fully dressed in a black sundress and instructed me that everyone was wearing black and our fanny packs. I chose black denim shorts, a black halter and flip flops before I joined the ladies in the main suite. They all chorused at me to put on my forgotten sunglasses and fanny pack so I turned back to my room to retrieve them. I tried to wake up Rocky one more time, with the promise of food and drinks and she replied, "fuck food, drinks and you."

Obviously she was in angry drunk phase, so I just sent her a text where we were going and left. After posing with all the bridesmaids in our matching black, fanny packs and glasses and Beatrice in a white maxi dress, we headed to the lobby to eat.

There was a long wait for Bobby Flay's Mesa Grill, but we got on the waiting list and stood outside comparing pictures and stories from the night before. I held back a laugh as Marianne ranted about there not being any real celebrities- just a bunch of realities stars and "internet people".

"What time did you get home? You were sound asleep when I got back to the room." Jenna asked me.

"I stayed maybe a couple of hours. I was sleeping so good until Rocky came back." I shook my head, playfully.

"Is she an alcoholic? She was so sloppy last night." Marianne commented.

"No. She had a baby 3 months ago- her tolerance is lower than she realized." I defended her.

"3 months ago? I wouldn't be in Vegas if I had a kid 3 months ago!" Marianne gasped.

"You don't have a kid. Kind of unreasonable to say what you would or wouldn't do." Jenna replied. I'm glad she spoke up, I was 2 seconds away from pulling a drunk Rocky and telling her to fuck off.

"Why don't we check out the menu why we wait? Make sure they have something that won't wreck havoc on your cleanse."

Beatrice said, in a sweet tone I wish I had the temperament to master. When she led
her away from the group, Gabriela sighed.

"As long as they don't serve humility and common decency, we're good." Gabriela commented.

I held back my laugh but Destiny and Jenna snickered. "It's gotten to the point I will only check my emails on Wednesdays and Fridays- my off days so I can deal with her numerous updates" Destiny complained.

"You're better than me. I have them sent to a folder for my assistant to check." Gabriela chimed in. At first, I was offended I wasn't included in the emails sent regarding the wedding, now I was thankful.

"It's almost over ladies." Jenna said, encouragingly before our table was ready.

As we walked to the table, I asked Jenna about Rocky's behavior last night and if she was out of control.

"No, not out of control at all." Jenna said right away. "She seemed upset when she came back to the VIP table. At that point, Beatrice was ready to go. Rocky was drinking while we rounded everyone up, she drank more in the limo, and came back to the room and ordered french fries and a milkshake. I went to sleep before her food came, so I don't know if anything happened after that." Jenna explained.

"Ok. I'm going to talk to her later- after she sleeps it off." I said as we sat down at the table next to each other.

My breakfast of scrambled eggs chilaquiles, home fries and Bloody Mary put me in a fabulous mood. I didn't even make a face when Marianne order her food with no oil or cheese or peppers. I joked with the waiter that he could add hers to mine. The waiter bought us an order of churros on the house because we were celebrating Beatrice's wedding.

I had a great time but I felt bad that Bianca wasn't with us. This was a joint celebration, but originally I came out her to spend time with her for her birthday. I tried to call her again, but still no answer. After brunch, we went to The Forum Shops. We went to store after store shopping for cute clothes, bags and shoes. Marianne tried to get us to buy matching accessories for Beatrice's wedding, but Beatrice shut that down, stating she didn't want us to be matching and that it was our choice what we wanted to wear with our dresses. I was thankful for that as I already had Christian Louboutin nude pumps broken in.

Beatrice pulled me aside when she saw me about to purchase make-up at Sephora.

"Your father wanted me to buy what you wanted." Beatrice informed me.

"Urgh, no. He doesn't have to do that." I declined.

"He wants to and you know how your father is about what he wants." She said, pulling out an envelope.

"Here. Do what you want with it. Go bet it all in the casino. Carlos will know no better." She smiled at him, conspiringly.

I took the envelope and counted the bills. $1000. I took out a couple of hundreds and bought myself new makeup. At Cartier, I fell in love with a pink gold necklace with a circular pendant studded with diamonds and the word love engraved on it. It cost more than what my dad gave me, but I put my dad's money away. My jewelry collection was either costume jewelry or something my dad or someone else bought for me. The love necklace was the perfect thing to treat myself with: a beautiful reminder of self love.

While the group ducked into Victoria Secret, I headed to H&M. I needed to find something to wear to Bianca's birthday dinner and club event more than I needed to upgrade my lingerie. I figured I could use my dad's money to buy an outfit. While I was looking over a few dresses, Bianca called me back.

"Hey cuz. You're alive! You had me worried for a second." I greeted her.

"I had you worried? You ducked out last night without saying anything!" She exclaimed.

"I ducked out because Christian was there. Did you know he was going to be there?" I asked.

"What? Did you see him?" She gasped.

"Yeah, we talked briefly."

"What did he say?" She questioned me. It wasn't lost on me that she hadn't answered my question.

"He apologized. It was a good talk. I still wish I would have known he was going to be there. I want a heads up if he's going to be at your party tonight." I warned her.

"No, absolutely not. Why would Noelle invite him?" She balked.

I wanted to say the same reason why she went to an event with cameras where she knew Christian would be, but I decided to let it go. That was Christian's assumption and I wasn't going to judge Noelle based on what he thought.

"Ok. Well, we're out shopping. I'm at H&M trying to find an outfit since I wore my romper last night. You want to join us?" I asked.

"I'm at Jorge's shop right now. I'll pick something out for you."

"I don't need you to do that. I wanted you to come shopping with us so we can spend time together. I can meet you at the shop." I offered.

"We're filming Lily." She said. "I figured you didn't want to be on camera but if you sign a release form-"

"Absolutely not." I cut her off and she laughed.

"That's what I thought. I'll pick you out something and see you later tonight."

"Ok B. Talk to you later." I said, before hanging up.

I left H&M and wandered around the lavish Rome inspired shopping mall. I took out my phone and recorded a video showing the grand archways, marble columns, elegant fountains, and sculptures of Roman heroes. The most striking feature was the ceilings: it was painted to look like the sky. It made you feel like you were really outdoors, with its brighten blue sky, wispy clouds and lighting that gave off a glow. I couldn't help thinking about Ethan and how much he would have appreciated the details in the design.

I know I promised myself I would deal with my relationship with Ethan when I got home, but I couldn't get him out of my mind. Now that I understood why Trevor not being in my life was so hard for me, I wanted to call him. I needed to explain everything and let him know that I was ready. I also realized it took me forever to sort out my feelings for Trevor and I needed to take the time to be sure of my feelings for Ethan. I wanted them to be real and not a knee jerk response to losing him.

"There you are!" Jenna said, pulling me out of my thoughts as she joined me. "I was about to call you. We're going to take our bags up to the room before we go to the High Roller."

"Yeah, ok. Let me go see if Rocky is up." I replied.

We headed up to the room and Rocky was up and in the shower. I knocked on the door and told her we were leaving in 20 minutes for the Ferris Wheel. She yelled back that she was getting ready. I pulled out my phone again, checking out the comments from the pictures I posted from the weekend thus far.  My friends, my brother, even Deborah commented and liked my photos- nothing from Ethan. I was seriously debating posting the videos of the Forums and tagging Ethan in them, when Rocky emerged from the bathroom.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her as I looked her over. She brushed her hair up into a neat bun and was wearing a terry cloth robe.

"Better. I drank way too much last night."

"So I've heard... You woke me up last night, jumping on the bed. Remember?"

"Vaguely. Things are fuzzy after the milkshake." She said, going through her bag.
 

"You told me you leaked on the guy you were talking to last night-" I began and she let out a disgusted groan.

"I can't believe I told you that." She said, looking up the the ceiling, embarrassed, before meeting my eyes. "This stays between us and I never want to talk about it again. Shane and I were making out and when I got turned on... my breasts started to leak. I wasn't wearing a nursing bra and it leaked through my blouse. After he pointed it out, I told him what it was and he freaked out and left."

I tried my hardest to maintain my composure. "So he got freaked out... By breast milk?" A giggle escaped on the last syllable.

"It's not funny!" Rocky snapped at me.

"It is a little funny. A grown man being freaked out by breast milk? It's natural. I mean, what did he eat when he was a baby?" I explained.

"I'm sure his mom wasn't out trying to get laid when he was an infant Lily." She sighed, sitting down on the bed, shoulders slumped. "What was I thinking? I can't be out here partying and drinking and thotting around. I'm a mother now. I should be spending time with Ace before I go back to work."

"Stop." I sat beside her. "You have a son that has the pleasure of having you as a mother. Being a mom is a part of who you are now, not everything. You spent time with him the last 3 months and you'll spend time with him when you go back to work."

"Not as much. You know how my job is. I'll have to work twice as hard when I come back to prove myself again."

"You don't have to prove anything. You just have to be your same fierce, smart, beautiful, strong self."

"I don't feel very beautiful when I'm leaking all over the place." She complained.

"I've seen enough porn sites to know some people find that very attractive..." I commented with a smile.

"You're nasty Lily." She scolded me, a smirk teasing the corners of her mouth.

"I didn't say I watched it." I laughed and she finally cracked a smile. "But for real, this trip is about you- not being a mother or employee or anything but you having a good time. Let's celebrate ourselves before we go back to the real world." I suggested.

"Ok." She nodded.

"And we're in Vegas. What happens here stays here. If you want to leak on dudes, I'm sure we can find someone who is into it"

"Shut up Lily!" She said, hitting me with a pillow and getting up.

"We are wearing all black, fyi." I called out to her.

"I'm not a part of the bridal party."

"True, but black hides leaking..." I kidded.

She flicked me off before disappearing back in the bathroom. I took my own advice, posted my videos on Snapchat without tagging Ethan and put my phone away to enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Once Rocky was dressed in black jeans and an off the shoulders black top, we joined everyone and left for the High Roller. When we arrived, Bianca and Noelle were already there, camera crew filming. I was super annoyed with the whole thing, but I swallowed it down and did not say anything about it. Rocky, Beatrice, Marianne and I refused to be filmed, but the other girls agreed. We had a great time in the capsule that slowly ascended over Vegas, providing a beautiful view as we drank from the bar and toasted Bianca's birthday and Beatrice's wedding.

Noelle and Bianca had to do a few reshoots, so they rode the ride again as we got off and went to lunch. We actually split up as Marianne wanted to go to Giada's restaurant for lunch and Rocky, Jenna and I were going to Guy Fieri's Vegas Kitchen and Bar as planned. We got a seat on the patio, ordered a party bowl of a cocktail named Vegas Vices and overlooked the menu. We decided against the heavy main entrees of oversized burgers or huge ribs and steaks and decided to order appetizers to share. We still ended up with a  plethora of food including a mountain of trash can nachos, lobster lollipops, wings and tuna won-tacos. We drank, ate and people watched until we were stuffed and still had food to take back to the room. We wobbled back to the hotel, regretting eating and drinking so much and hoping to sleep it off.

I woke up, a couple hours later, feeling groggy and like I could sleep for another couple of hours, but a hotel attendant was at our door with a garment bag for me. I took it inside and unzipped it to reveal nude color separates- a tube top and a high-waisted mini skirt with gold sequin details all over. It was a gorgeous set although I was a little apprehensive wearing a tube top after all the eating I had been doing. Once I tried it on, I loved the fit. The top showed off my cleavage, shoulders and arms beautifully while the high waisted skirt hid my well earned food belly.

While I picked out a strapless pushup bra and panties, I remembered a pair of sparkly gold sneakers at the Giuseppe Zanotti store. At the time, I thought they were loud and tacky, but they would go perfectly with my outfit; and, I could use the money from my dad to buy them. I put on jeans and a t-shirt and headed back down to the shops and purchased them.

When I got back to the room, Rocky was doing her hair as Jenna showered. I hopped in the shower after Jenna before getting ready. I kept my hair simple, straightened and pushed back behind my ears. I wore small gold hoops and gold crawler earrings and my new necklace. I did a full face of make-up: fake lashes, gold smokey eye and a new dusty rose lip color I picked up at Sephora.

After Rocky finished curling waves into her hair, she slipped on a rust colored satin wrap dress. It clinched her in, making her waistline tiny, the color made her skin glow, and it showcased her fuller cleavage and toned legs.

"Damn, you look hot!" I complimented her.

"Thanks." She grinned, opening the front of her dress, flashing her black bra. "And I can wear my nursing bra."

"Yes! Get it hot momma!" I cheered.

Once we were dressed, we joined everyone in the suite, pregaming for the night with music and drinks. When the limo arrived, we took the party down to it, singing and drinking on our way to Bianca's birthday dinner. The dinner ended up being a burlesque show. With her cameras in tow, Noelle hosted a private party for Bianca. I recognized Bianca's former roommate Gayle, but all her other 'friends' at the party were models, designers, and other business associates. For it to be her party, it didn't seem like Bianca's style.

After the show and while the camera's were rolling, Noelle gave a warm birthday speech to Bianca before she did a dance with the performers. Everyone owwed and awwed over the display of affection when Bianca got on stage to hug and kiss Noelle. I thought it would have been more sincere if it was private or maybe if she wasn't filming for the show, but I kept my opinion to myself.

The night club didn't get any better. It was crowded and electronic music blasted from the speaker. Bianca hated spots like this: she preferred lounges or hookah bars. I didn't even get to talk to her as she was on the mic in the DJ booth.

We were in VIP with the rest of the party, so we ordered drinks and tried to talk over the loud music. While I made small talk with a few people, I realized a lot of the guests were Noelle's friends and associates. Beatrice, Destiny, Marianne, Gabriela and Jenna eventually stated they were going to head back to the room. I looked down at my phone and saw it was only midnight. I hugged them all goodbye before asking Rocky if she was ready to go.

"Devante mentioned grabbing something to eat." She suggested.

"Devante huh?" I asked, looking over at the dirty blonde dread head scruffy guy she had been hanging with all night. He had a nice body, abs on full display in a vest with no undershirt. He was cute I was sure, underneath the beard and messy hair; I just thought Rocky was more into clean cut men.

 "Am I playing wingwoman?" I wiggled my eyebrows.

"God no." She rolled her eyes. "We saw how well that ended last time. You coming or nah?"

"I'm coming. Let me say bye to Bianca." I went over to the DJ booth and waved Bianca over.  "We're heading out." I told Bianca with a hug. "We still doing the buffet tomorrow?"

"Absolutely." She hugged me back. I waved goodbye to Noelle before joining up with Rocky.

We followed Devante and his group out the club. One of the girls was navigating to a dive bar. On the way, we stopped by a daiquiri shop to get drinks for the walk. Walking the strip was more fun then the parties combined. There were characters, street performers and just eccentrically dressed people walking down the strip. The catcalls were annoying, the promoters were worse, but we had fun getting to the bar. The bar itself was pretty laid back for it being on the strip. It featured a long bar, a big stage were a band was performing, a dance floor in front of the stage and lounge couches and seating in the back. 

"They're at the booth in the back." A giggly brunette in our group led us over to the back where a long booth set against the wall with tables and chairs. We sat in one of the open spots in the booth while they greeted the group already at the adjoining table. I had a menu in my hand, trying to figure out what I wanted to eat when I felt Rocky nudge me.

"Let's get outta here." She hissed while glaring at someone at the other table. I looked up to see Christian. He looked at me confused and Rocky warily. I gave him a little smile and a wave before I turned Rocky away.

"It's cool. We're cool." I told her.

"You're cool with Christian? Since when?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Since last night. I saw him at the party. I'll explained later, but be nice." I commanded her.

"Fine." She muttered, turning her attention back to Devante. I ordered food and drinks and listen to the live music. It was an open mic night and a variety of different artist performed. Devante asked Rocky to dance and she asked me if I wanted to dance with them. Not wanting to be a third wheel and also waiting for the food to arrive, I declined. My food finally came and I was about to dig into my brisket sandwich when Christian sat next to me in the booth.

"I didn't know if I should say hi or send you a drink. Rocky looked like she may have thrown it on me." He stated.

"I didn't tell Rocky about our talk. Sorry about the hostility. I feel like I owe you a drink for that." I explained.

"I'll take it." He smiled.

"You still like fruity drinks?" I joked.

He chuckled. "Yeah, only fruit drink they have here is Bud Light lime."

I smiled and couldn't wait anymore to eat. I took a big bite of my sandwich.

"Is it good?" He asked.

"I had better." I said, after I finished chewing the bite. My mind automatically went to my 3rd date with Ethan; eating barbecue in a hole in the wall restaurant after he took me to a shooting range. The food was great, company was better...

"Can't tell."  He teased as I took another bite.

I shook my head as I ate. After I swallowed, I explained. "I'm starving. Tonight was Bianca's birthday celebration. Her birthday dinner was a burlesque show."

He shook his head and smiled. "Lesbians, dinner at a burlesque show... Sounds about right."

I burst out laughing. "Ewww shut up!"

"You set me up for that." He laughed too.

"No! I wasn't even thinking like that." I said, between laughter.

"What's so funny?" Reginald asked us.

"Nothing." I smiled, turning back to Christian. "Don't say anything." I warned him.

He put up his hands in mock surrender as Rocky and Devante rejoined us. She narrowed her eyes at Christian in her spot, but didn't say anything as Christian stood up, shaking hands with Devante as he moved.

"Good to see you again Christian." Devante spoke to him.

"You too man. How you doing?"

"Hanging in there. Working on Cymbal's project. Did he hit you up yet?" Devante asked.

"Not yet. You have my new number?" When he shook his head no, Christian texted him so he would have his number.

"How do you know each other?" Rocky asked Devante.

"Noelle introduced us. I've been trying to get on one of his tracks for a minute." Devante explained.

"Oh... You're a singer?" Rocky asked.

"A little bit. I mostly rap."

"Nice. Lily, are you ready?" Rocky said, standing abruptly.

I looked at my half eaten food, then at her face that said 'lets go'. "Ready."

I reached to pull out my wallet from my purse, but Christian stopped me. "I got it. Enjoy the rest of your night." He said with an amused smile. I mouthed a thank you before Rocky led me out.

"You owe me half a sandwich and fries." I told her.

"You owe me the truth. Since when are you and Christian cool? How are you cool with someone who posted your explicit pictures?" She said, speed walking down the sidewalk. I could barely keep up in my sneakers.

"They weren't explicit... A little sexy, but nothing was showing!" I defended myself.

She gave me a dumbfounded look. "Really?"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that he apologized and we're ok." I started, before going into detail on how I saw Christian at the party and he waited for me to take responsibility for his actions.

Rocky still narrowed her eyes at me. "So now y'all are buddy buddy again? How's Ethan feel about the reconciliation?"

I blanched and sighed, knowing I needed to tell her the truth. "Ethan broke up with me."

Rocky stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to gawk at me. "What? Over Christian?"

"No. Keep walking and I'll tell you." I told her grabbing her arm. As we walked, I explained everything to her: Ethan overhearing Trevor telling me he had feeling for me, my unraveling at Trevor cutting me off, Ethan ending things with me because of my feeling for Trevor, and the last conversation I had with Ethan when I told him he was right.

"Wait... You're still in love with Trevor?" She asked.

I stopped and looked her straight in the eye. "No. I will always have love for Trevor, but I'm not in love with him. He was my... clutch... For almost 10 years and I didn't even realize it. I have now and I let him go. I called him the other night to let him know I was letting go."

"You called Trevor? How?"

"Hotel phone."

"What did he say?"

"I left a voicemail, but it doesn't matter. I'm finally done with Trevor."

"Ok." We started walking to the hotel again. "Did you talk to Ethan yet?"

"No." I answered.

"Are you waiting to talk to him in person?" She pressed me.

"Sort of."

"What do you mean sort of? You need to tell him exactly what you told me. He will understand and you two can get back together." She encouraged me.

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is." She argued passionately.

"No, it's not. He told me that he loved me." I admitted.

"You don't love him?"

"I might. I could. I don't know. What I do know is I don't want to just react off the fear of losing him. I want to be sure. I want to take my time before I commit to anyone. Talking to Christian made me see myself clearly. We have a lot in common and it made me realize there's no need for me to rush to be in love or in a relationship. I'm good by myself." I explained as we walked through the entrance of our hotel.

"Oh God, please don't tell me you're falling for Christian." Rocky groaned.

"Stop. I don't even have his number." I protested. "Can we please go eat now?"

"I don't know... Anymore secrets?"

"You tell me. What happened with Devante?"

"A rebound with a wanna be rapper? That's almost as bad as hooking up with an amateur DJ." Rocky shaded Forrest's new friend.

I shook my head at her as we made our way in the hotel. We had a late night dinner at Gordon Ramsay's Pub. Rocky got a lobster roll and I got the Beef Wellington and all was good in life at the moment while we ate.

The next morning, I woke up early to see the ladies off as they headed to the airport. I told Beatrice thanks for allowing us to have this weekend together. She hugged me and said excitedly, "Until next time at my wedding." I smiled and hugged her back.

After they left, I called Bianca to make sure she was still up for breakfast at the casino hotel. When she confirmed, I woke Rocky up so we could get ready. We dressed comfortably and made our way down to the buffet to wait in line. Bianca made it while we were still waiting and I was surprised to see it was just her.

"Noelle is getting ready for a pool party. You guys are welcomed to come." Bianca invited us.

"Nope, nowhere close to being swimsuit ready. Maybe next summer." Rocky declined.

"I don't plan to leave the buffet until our flight is ready so that's a no for me fam." I smiled.

We got seated, ordered mimosas and made our way through the smorgasbord of food. There was so much and everything was delicious: One of the best buffets I ever been too. Rocky joked about taking the butter dispenser for the crab legs home as a souvenir.

"Speaking of, we need to do that before we leave. Souvenir shopping." I told her.

"For what? Everyone we know has been to Vegas. They don't need souvenirs.

"The kids. Ace especially." I said. And Ethan. I needed to find a figurine for him. When I first began giving Ethan figurines for souvenirs, I originally picked them because they were completely useless and loved seeing his reaction to them. The fact he kept them on display in his den made it a tradition that I wanted to continue.

"Give him the money. It can go in his college fund." Rocky quipped.

"Or a really nice bank to put the college money in!" I countered.

After breakfast, I wished Bianca a happy birthday and gave her a birthday card. In previous years, I just gave her money to spend it on whatever she wanted. This time, I gave her a Dallas calendar.

"Really? The year is halfway through. Was this on sale?" She grinned.

"No, I already had it but I personalized it. I don't care how successful or famous you get, we always need to make time for each other. And if a season pass without us seeing each other, I'll start leaving bed reviews on your clothes and be that close source in the tabloids spreading rumors about you and Noelle." I threaten her.

"Wow...this is the sweetest most stalkerish gift I ever received." Bianca hugged me.

"Anytime."

After we parted with Bianca, we went to the Wax Museum Rocky so desperately wanted to go to. She told me back when she came to Vegas for Jake's birthday, no one wanted to go. She held on to that grudge and now she was getting her chance to go. We went and I had a better time then I expected, posing and taking pictures with the wax figures.

Afterward, we were able to hit a tourist shop. I got gifts for the kids first. I really did get a coin bank that looked like a slot machine for Ace, a plush dice for Robbie, little tote bags for Krista and April, and Vegas playing cards, poker chips and a bag of candy with the thought of teaching EJ how to gamble. While Rocky was looking over the onesies, a figurine caught my eye.  The flamingos with their beaks touching to form a heart figurine was perfect. I grabbed it before I checked out.

The flight back to Dallas was uneventful. I was too wired to sleep, so I planned what I wanted to say to Ethan when I saw him. Brandon was picking Rocky up and Rocky asked me if I needed a ride home too. I knew Rocky was ready to get home to spend time with Ace, so I turned her down. I got an Uber home and greeted Justine with a stomach rub before I brought my things in. I text Sammy that I was home and thanks for watching Justine before I called Ethan.

"Hello?"

"Hey. I just got back in town. Are you busy? Can Justine and I come over with you and EJ souvenirs?"

"Sure." He said, simply.

"Ok. See you soon."

I washed up and changed quickly before I headed to his house. On the drive over, I received a text from an unknown number. I looked at my notifications briefly and saw the beginning of the text.

Unknown: Hey, it's Christian. I-

I pulled in front of Ethan's house and ignored the rest of the text. I would read it later; right now I wanted to focus on Ethan. I went up to Ethan's door and rang the doorbell. Ethan was there quickly to let me and Justine in.

"Hi." I smiled at him, as I looked him over. He was wearing jeans and a polo, effortlessly handsome as always. His face was neutral as he slowly appraised me too. He studied my hair in a low ponytail, my face, down my chest in a fitted t-shirt, my legs in jean shorts, my toes in my sandals and slowly back up again. His face revealed nothing but he's eyes were a shade darker.

"Hi." He responded, looking away from me to focus on Justine as she hopped up on his legs, excitedly. He kneel to pet her. "How was your trip?"

"Really fun. I thought a bachelorette trip with my "stepmom" would be awkward but it was fun. A good start like you said." I said.

"Good. It looked like you had a good time." He said, standing up straight again and looking me in the eye.

I nodded. "Yes. Ate way too much, I posted a ton of food pictures online."

"I saw that. I believe you had more pictures of food than of yourself." He commented.

"Oh... You were looking for pictures of me?"

"No." He cleared his throat. "Just an observation."

"Right." I smiled at him.

"EJ will be right down. He's taking a shower." Ethan stated as he led us into the living room.

"Ok." I reached into my bag. "Here's your gift then."

"You didn't have to." He said as I pulled out the pink figurine and studied it with a smirk. "You really didn't have to."

"You know I had to. Besides, this one has a background story." I started. "They're love birds, but one bird was so broken and insecure, she latched on to what she thought was unconditonal love. She was terrified to let it go because she felt she wouldn't be anything without it."

Ethan looked away from the figurine to watch me, expectantly.

"She realized what she was holding onto wasn't love, but codependency. When she finally knew she was good enough on her own, she was able to let him go. She made a promise to herself that her next relationship would be based on trust, mutual respect, passion and compatibility. She also told herself the next time she fell in love not only would she take the time to make sure she was ready, but that he was the right one."

He nodded. "I understand."

"You do?" I asked, my heart beating wildly.

"Lily-" he started before EJ came barreling down the stairs.

"Lily!" EJ called my name with a grin.

"Hey EJ!" I said, opening my arms for a hug. "How ya been?"

"Good. What'd you bring me? Money you won from gambling?"

"You know what? I didn't even gamble." I told him.

"Really.?"

"Yeah. The first rule of gambling is the house always wins. Even if you win, the casino always win. So instead of gambling and giving them my money, I figured I can teach you how to bet and we can play for candy." I said, pulling out a deck of cards, poker chips, and the big bag of candy.

EJ's eyes widen at the candy and he looked at his dad. "Can we play Dad? Can I learn how to bet?"

"Yes, if Lily has time." Ethan responded.

"I have nothing but time." I smiled at them both.

"Let set up the card table up then." Ethan said.

We did just that and spent the rest of the evening playing cards. It was a brand new start, but nothing changed between us.

Viva Las Vegas (Intro)

"How I wish that there were more

Than the twenty-four hours in the day

'cause even if there were forty more

I wouldn't sleep a minute away

Oh, there's black jack and poker and the roulette wheel

A fortune won and lost on ev'ry deal

All you need's a strong heart and a nerve of steel

Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas" Viva Las Vegas by Elvis Presley

I didn't need my alarm to wake me up Friday morning, I was already awake staring at the ceiling. I was having trouble falling and staying asleep so I laid in bed, waiting for my alarm to go off. When it did, I got up, showered and got dressed. My bags were already packed, all I needed to do was let Justine outside, sit out her food and then Uber to the airport were I was meeting Rocky. Brandon was dropping Rocky off, and I made sure to get to the airport super early, hoping to avoid Brandon. I had no idea if Ethan told anyone about the breakup yet, but I didn't want to deal with anyone's reaction. I just wanted to get through the weekend, with a happy face for Rocky and my family.

I had made it through security, found my gate and was sitting at a coffee shop when Rocky called me.

"Are you on your way?" She chirped, way too brightly for 7am.

"I'm already at the gate." I informed her.

"Too excited to sleep? Me too! I woke up early and woke Ace up to spend time with him."

"Woke me up too..." I heard Brandon grumble in the background.

"You were the one that had to spend the night to drop me off so deal with it." Rocky snapped back at him. "I'll call you when I'm on the way to the gate. See you soon!"

After she got off the phone, I overlooked the agenda Rocky put together. Today, I had my dress fitting in California at 10am, then we were flying out to Vegas for dinner and the Mariah concert with Beatrice's group. After the show, Rocky and I planned an impromptu bachelorette celebration with Beatrice at the Caesar Resort.

Saturday morning we planned breakfast and shopping with them before going on the High Roller Ferris wheel that Jenna set up for us. We planned grabbing lunch at Guy Fieri's restaurant before a scheduled nap time. Bianca had her birthday dinner before her appearance at the club. After her club appearance, we were going to walk the strip, see the Bellagio water show, do some gambling before heading back to the resort for a late night snack at Gordon Ramsey's Pub before bed. Sunday, the ladies were leaving in the morning but Rocky's and my flight wasn't until the afternoon. We were having brunch at Bobby Flay's restaurant before hitting up the Wax Museum at Rocky's request before we had to get ready to go.

I forwarded the agenda to Bianca, who sent me a thumbs up emoji. I knew she was flying into California, but had no idea where she was coming from. Her latest Instagram post had her in New York, but I recently found out someone else controlled her page so now I couldn't rely on her social media for information. My phone rang again and I directed Rocky to me. I waved her over when I saw her, admiring her skinny jeans, slinky purple top and black cardigan. I looked sloppy in comparison in sweatpants and a fitted t-shirt.

Rocky shook her head after I pointed this out when I hugged her. "You have a man and a social life outside of a 3 month old. I'm trying to have both at least for the next 72 hours."

"So random peen it is?" I asked, ignoring her comment about me having a man.

"No... But random flirting, possibly making out? We'll see." She smiled at me.

I smiled as we sat down. I got her order and she watched our carry-ons as I grabbed our drinks and food. We had plenty of time to eat and drank before our plane began to board. We got the more spacious 2 seaters in the front of the plane, put our bags away, and both put our headphones on while we waited for the plane to take off. I was able to doze off for a little bit, but woke up an hour before we descended into California.

My dad was actually there to pick us up from the airport. We met him by the baggage claim. After I greeted him with a hug, he stacked Rocky's and my bags and dragged them out the airport as we followed.

"How was your flight?" Dad asked us.

"It was good. Smooth." I responded.

"I slept through most of it, so it was great for me." Rocky commented.

"You are a new mom: that's to be expected. How is Ace doing?" Dad questioned.

"He's amazing." Rocky gushed. I smiled, pleased as the topic of Ace occupied the conversation for most of the drive. My dad didn't get a chance to ask about Ethan and I didn't have to lie about him.

We arrived at the bridal boutique, where Beatrice and another woman were waiting for us. After hugs, Beatrice introduced me to her cousin Marianne.

"I'm going to let you ladies get to it. Be on your best behavior in Vegas." He told us all.

"Of course." Marianne giggled, while I smirked to Rocky.

Yeah, best worst behavior.

Rocky's returned smirk let me know we were on the same page. My dad left and Beatrice went to the sales associate to check if they were ready.

"So you're Carlos' daughter. How old are you again?" Marianne turned to me, scrutinizingly.

"27." I replied.

"27? Wow. From the way everyone described you, I figured you'd be much younger." She said, with a disbelieving shake of her head.

My first reaction was to be defensive, but I felt more ashamed of the comments I made about Beatrice last Thanksgiving. At the behest of my dad, Beatrice may have forgiven me but I understood if Beatrice's friends and family didn't have the highest opinion of me. I sucked it up and dealt with it.

"I know, I definitely acted like a brat in the past. I'm just grateful Beatrice forgave me so we could move forward." I told Marianne, sincerely.

She gave me a look I couldn't decipher before she nodded curtly. "Good." 

When she left, Rocky immediately asked me. "What was that?"

"I'll explain later." I promised as I saw Jenna walk into the boutique. I stood up and made my way over, giving her a hug.

"Hey sis." Jenna embraced me. I warmed at her calling me sis like Cam did.

"Hey yourself!" I grinned at her. "It's so good to see you!"

"It's great to be seen." She smiled radiantly before hugging Rocky too. "I'm so excited for this weekend. I can't wait to get to Vegas."

"3 hours, 30 minutes." Rocky counted down.

"And 2 bridesmaid dresses. I'm sorry if during my wedding I put you through half of what I've been dealing with being in this wedding." Jenna muttered.

"You were the most laid back bride ever. I'm guessing Beatrice is not?"

"It's not Beatrice-" Jenna started before Beatrice and Marianne made their way back to us.

"They're ready for us." Beatrice gleamed as we stood up to follow them. We were immediately offered glasses of champagne. Rocky and Jenna took one while Beatrice, Marianne and I declined. Marianne was on a cleanse and Beatrice declared it was too early. I was waiting to drink when I was in Vegas and as I didn't want to be drunk in front of my future stepmom and her friends.

Jenna and I both went into separate changing rooms to try on our respective dresses. Mine was a pleaded halter style light peach maxi dress with a thigh length slit on the side. When I came out, Jenna was in the mirror wearing an one shoulder fitted maxi dress in a deeper shade of peach.

"It looks beautiful on you." Beatrice proclaimed, standing up to examine me. "Do you like it?"

"Yes. It's fine." I nodded.

"Be truthful. Everyone is wearing maxi dresses, but different styles and shades. I can switch out dresses if you don't like it." Beatrice offered, graciously.

"No." I smiled at her eagerness. I really didn't have a preference; I told her as much when she first asked me my opinion. Knowing that I didn't want to come off as I didn't care, I elaborated. "I love  the dress. It's perfect. Thank you for picking it out for me."

"Your cousin helped picked them all out. She is God sent." Beatrice smiled.

"Where is Bianca? I thought she was coming." Marianne asked.

"She had a last minute meeting. She's going to meet us at the airport." Beatrice said, whipping out her phone to take pictures.

Marianne got up and began looking over the dresses critically. "Her neckline needs to come up and I think the slit is too high. We can pair shawls with both dresses so it's not too revealing. Also, it's not too late to add some bling and sparkle-" She rambled on.

When I saw Jenna making an exasperated face behind Marianne's back, I knew she was the bridesmaidzila. Jenna confirmed my assumption after we finished our fitting. We arrived at the airport and went to the bathroom together and I asked about Marianne.

"We've had 3 different wedding parties already! An engagement party, a wedding shower, and a wedding party brunch. And, she just sent out an email for group activities in the D.R. I've spent more to be a bridesmaid then I spent to be a bride."

"Are you serious?" Rocky asked, shocked.

"It's pretty damn close." She nodded to Rocky before looking at me. "It's not the money though, you know your dad offered to pay."

"And I know my brother turned him down." I nodded.

"Exactly." Jenna confirmed. "It's the disregard to other's time. It's not anything Beatrice wants; Bianca and I had to talk her into this bachelorette trip. I don't know if Marianne is living vicariously through Beatrice, but she's doing way too much."

"I'll shoot her down on the group activities in the D.R. She already doesn't like me."

"What did she say?" Jenna questioned me.

After filling Rocky in on my meltdown last Thanksgiving, I told Jenna about Marianne alluding that I was immature.

"She was completely out of line. You should tell Beatrice. Or your dad. He would kick her out of the wedding." Jenna plotted.

I grinned at her vitriol towards Marianne. "No. Let's just get through the weekend. The wedding is in a few weeks and everything will be over." I suggested.

"I agree. Just focus on the most important part: the bachelorette trip. We can get drunk and party all in the name of the wedding." Rocky added with a playful shimmy of her shoulders. Jenna and I laughed at her.

"Are you drunk already? How many glasses of champagne did you have?"

"Mind your business." Rocky flung at me.

By the time we made it to our gate, the other ladies arrived. Beatrice introduced everyone: her best friend Destiny, the co-owner of her bakery Gabriela, and of course Marianne.  After a quick hello, Bianca led us to Noelle's private plane.

"Actually, it's her parent's, but they don't use it as much as Noelle does. C'mon." Bianca explained as we boarded the plane.

It wasn't my first time on a private jet, but I don't think I could ever get use to the exuberance of flying private. There were 4 regular aircraft seats, facing each other with a table in the middle. The rest of the seating were luxury sectional couches, reclining chairs and there was even a separate bedroom with a full size bed. Bianca definitely gotten used to this lifestyle. She immediately instructed the flight attendant to bring her pillow and weighted blanket so she could go to the separate bedroom to catch a power nap.

"Everything ok?" I asked her, picking up on shortness and overall less than excited demeanor.

"Yes. Exhausted, but I'll be better once I get some rest. See you ladies in Vegas." She waved before sequestering herself in the bedroom.

I took her word for it and focused on getting to know Beatrice's group of friends. They caught up with each other and I mostly listened. Everyone was warm and welcoming and if they felt some kind of way about me because of my previous behavior, they hid it better than Marianne. By the time we got to Vegas, I was convinced it was just Marianne and relaxed tremendously.

Bianca was in much better spirits after we landed, excitedly running through our plans while simultaneously tapping away at her phone. She was glued to it the second we got off the jet, got into the limo and finally arrived at the Caesars Palace. Bianca received the VIP treatment as we bypassed the reception lobby and was ushered up to a penthouse suite.

"Noelle hates that she can't join us tonight, but wants you all to enjoy the room and show." Bianca told us before we all fanned out to claim our rooms. Beatrice got the connecting suite with a king size bed and Rocky, Jenna and I picked the other connecting suite with queen double beds while the girls sorted out sleeping arrangements in the two bedrooms in the suite. Jenna stated she would be good on a couch if we didn't want to share a bed. I quickly told her that wouldn't be a problem as me being Rocky's wingwoman, it was my duty that she would be having a random fling, not sleeping.

"Lies. We're sharing a bed and your sleeping the opposite way. And I get the comforter." Rocky corrected me.

Once the sleeping situation was sorted, everyone gushed over the suite and cute gift bags and bottles of Angel Champagne. The gift bags had Mariah Carey merchandise, hangover kits, designer sunglasses and pink bridesmaids fanny packs.

"Who put these together?" Beatrice asked as her friend Destiny popped open a bottle of champagne.

"Noelle." Bianca replied.

"They are perfect. Please thank her for me." Beatrice smiled.

"I will." She said, pulling out her phone.

While glasses of champagne were filled and passed around, Bianca played on her phone. As soon as Marianne ended her long winded toast, Bianca went straight back to her phone. I sipped my champagne and watched her. She looked up when she felt me staring at her.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Are you going to be on your phone all weekend?" I asked.

"Not all weekend. Just checking in on Noelle. She's filming at her place right now." She said, with a sheepish smile as she put her phone down.

"Oh. Ok. Is that why you didn't race for a room? Because you're staying with her?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to be filming for her reality show too?"

"Some." She shrugged me off. "What do you think of the room?"

I allowed her to change the subject and looked around the gorgeous, decked out penthouse. It was a two story duplex with beaded chandeliers, a wet bar, mood lights and a circular booth overlooking the strip. "It's alright. I was hoping for the Villa like they had in the "Hangover", but this will do."

She laughed at me. "Shut up before you end up sleeping on the roof like he did in the movie."

We had dinner reservation in a couple of hours, so we all started to get ready. We all decided to wear the Mariah Carey tops from our goodie bags. I paired my black tank with the lyrics "Vision of Love" with a metallic shorts and jacket combo. Bianca wore her white Mariah rainbow shirt with a green blazer and short matching set and statement jewelry that I wasn't sure was real or fake. Rocky wore a "Always Be My Baby" black and white tank with red leather leggings and heels while Jenna paired her "Infinity" tank with a bandage skirt. Marianne and Gabriela wore their respective shirts with jeans while Destiny had her tank under a jumper.

Beatrice went all out, channelling her Mariah Carey t-shirt that featured a picture of Mariah with teased, curly hair. Beatrice styled her hair the same way and tucked the shirt into a white sequined mini skirt. She wore brown lipstick a la Mariah. It reminded me of how I channeled Rihanna when I went to her concert.

"I wish I had the patience to curl my hair like that." I told Beatrice after I complimented her look.

"I can curl your hair for you." Beatrice offered.

"Oh no. That's ok." I quickly declined.

"A few curls in your ponytail won't take long. Let me." She smiled, excitedly.

"Ok." I agreed. We went into her room and she plugged back in the curling wand. While it warmed up she had me sit in the chair so she could pull my hair down.

"This is weird. Very much step momish." I cut the silence with a joke.

She smiled. "I know you and Cam are too old to need a stepmother, which is fine. I've never been maternal."

"My mom- the woman who gave birth to me, wasn't either so it's actually what I am comfortable with." I said sarcastically.

"I can't imagine my life without my mother in it. Why I don't expect you to think of me as a stepmom, I would love it if one day you would be comfortable enough with me to consider me a friend. I'm here if ever you need anything. Even if it's telling your father to back off." She disclosed with a secret smile.

"Ok." Emotion welled up in me, and I nodded to avoid getting choked up. "I might take you up on the Dad thing though..."

Beatrice and I shared a laugh before she placed spiral curls in my hair. She told me about growing up being a complete girly-girl and boy crazy. She told me how she would pray for great romance and a good man and didn't get either until she was in her 30s.

She gathered my curls back into a high ponytail, leaving a few to frame my face. I loved my hair; it completed the casual glam look I was aspiring to. I even traded out my nude lip for her brown lipstick. We joined the girls back in the suite and took pictures together before we headed to Nobu. Bianca made us a reservation in a semi private pod. Marianne lamented not sitting at a tempaki table, but I tuned her out. After ordering our drinks, we decided to order omakase.

Every 7 courses of our meal were delicious. We had fresh tuna sashimi, seared salmon, avocado tartare, steak teppanyaki and of course sushi. My favorite course was the miso glazed seabass and a close second was the dessert- flourless chocolate molten cake with fresh fruit and mochi ice cream. It was mind blowing perfection and I had to eat my words that all Japaneses food in America paled in comparison to Japanese food in Japan. That thought briefly made me think of Trevor, but I quickly banished him from my mind. I took another shot a sake, my promised to stay sober around Beatrice out the window. My promise to not worry about my pathetic love life was more important.

After dinner, I was stuffed, tipsy and had no idea how I was going to make it through the concert. When the first strains of "Honey" blasted through the Coliseum and everyone started cheering and screaming when Mariah came out, I was up screaming right along with them. I fed off the energy from the room and the excitement was contagious. I wasn't a die hard fan nor did I know all the songs, but the ones that I did know, I sang and danced along with everyone.

I had a blast up until the song "Can't Let Go". The lyrics and everyone singing/shouting them was too much.

"Even though I try I can't let go

Something in your eyes

Captured my soul

And every night I see you in my dreams

You're all I know

I can't let go"

It was too much and before the song brought up the person I banished from my mind, I left to get a drink. I ordered a tequila shot and was heading back when I heard the track "We Belong Together".

"Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough?

Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone 'til the sun comes up?

Who’s gonna take your place? There ain't nobody better

Oh, baby baby, we belong together"

The pain of Ethan breaking up with me flooded me and I hightailed it back to the bar. I finished my shot and ordered a margarita. I walked back just in time for "Like That". It was an upbeat party song that fit the mood and I sipped my drink happily as I joined back singing and dancing. The last song of the night was "Hero" and Rocky and I drunkenly sang it to each other between giggles. After the show, we came out still hyped and ready to party.

"Noelle is at a party. VIP all the way- The entire night club was rented out. Great music, drinks, celebrities..." Bianca trailed off.

Everyone agreed enthusiastically while Beatrice shook her head. "I need to head back to the room."

"Why Bea?! Celebrities!?! When are we ever going to get a chance to party with celebs. I wanna meet Mario Lopez!" Marianne fanned herself.

I snickered but Beatrice just shook her head.

 "I came to see Mariah. I did that. I need rest for shopping tomorrow. You all can go."

"No. We are sticking together." Destiny spoke up.

"Right. Besides, we came here to celebrate your wedding and my birthday." Bianca stated "We can't do that without strippers and the party won't have any."

"No. You did not order strippers!" Beatrice gasped.

"Not yet but I will if we go back to the room." Bianca threatened.

"I won't allow it." Beatrice shook her head widely.

"You won't have a choice."  Bianca giggled. "It's a birthday gift to myself."

"Ok. One hour at the party." Beatrice compromised, pulling out her phone.

We all cheered and hollered when Gabriela asked Bianca "Would you have gotten male or female strippers?"

"Neither. They're trashy." Bianca made a face and we all laughed.

Bianca insisted we go back to the room and changed into more formal outfits. I put on the black romper from her collection that I planned to wear on her birthday and told myself I would pick out somethine else when we go shopping. After everyone changed, we left in the limo and made our way to another resort. It had an indoor-outdoor night club on it's roof top pool deck. As Bianca flashed her ID and got us in the party, she explained that one of Noelle's friends was releasing some new wireless headphones and this was the launch party.

I was glad we changed as all the women at the party were wearing barely there dresses and club attire. Marianne dragged Beatrice and Destiny along to spot celebrities, Jenna and Gabriela headed to the bar, Bianca went to find Noelle and Rocky and I went to dance. We made our way to the dance floor and dance for like an hour straight before we needed drinks and to sit down. Rocky and I went to the bar and got a couple of drinks before we explored the party for a place to sit. Outside, in the private cabanas their were wireless headphone set up to try and plenty of seats. We stopped at the closest one with seats available in sat down. I grabbed the headphones that looked like a crown.

"Come try them with me." I encouraged Rocky.

"Hell no. I don't know where people's ears have been." She declined.

"Here are some wipes and covers if you prefer." A cute guy sitting near us in the cabana offered Rocky.

"Thanks." She took them and handed one of both to me.

"I don't know where your hands have been." I mocked her, playfully as I wiped the headphones.

"About to be upside your head." She threatened me.

The guy from before chuckled and Rocky looked him over briefly before turning back to me. I gave her the wide eyed he's-cute-talk-to-him look, but she ignored me and cleaned her headphones. After we put them on, I grabbed an IPad they were connected to and scrolled through the playlist. It took me forever to find something Rocky and I both would like. Apparently, this guy was a huge Christian fan. I skipped passed his songs and kept looking.

I looked up and saw Rocky talking to me. The headphones were noise canceling, so I didn't understand. I took one of my headphones off and signal for her to do the same.

"What did you say?"

"I said hurry up!" She exclaimed.

"I'm trying to find something for your fucking Marvin Gaye old ass music lovin-"I gripped at her.

She snatched the Ipad from me and scowled as she looked. "Who is this guy? Why couldn't he just put Apple music on here? Nobody wants to listen to his playlist..."

"Each cabana has a different genre. This is EDM. The headphone settings are different for each genre." The same guy with the wipes called over to us. "If you like, I can show you to the R&B spot. Most likely no one as legendary as Marvin Gaye on his playlist, but he has a few artist that make classic R&B." He told Rocky.

"What do you know about Marvin Gaye or R&B?" Rocky asked him, cockily.

"Let's get it on." He told her, flirtatiously.

"Right." Rocky said, sitting her headphones down. "You ready Lily?" She turned to me, dismissing him.

"You didn't let me finish." He laughed, moving to sit next to us. "Let's get it on is one of the few songs I know, but I'm willing to learn."

I didn't know much about being a wingwoman, but the way Rocky was eying him made me believe she was interested... Or at least intrigued.

"Please take her to the R&B cabana. The only Marvin Gaye I know is the Charlie Puth song." I said, smiling at them both. He smiled and Rocky pursed her lips at me. When he held out his hand, Rocky grabbed it and followed him away. When one of the guys he was talking to came and sat beside me, I politely excused myself and went to another cabana.

The cabana I went to was rap, but it was really chill and melodic. It was filled with artist like Phora, 6lack, Bas, Goldlink and Tink. I made a mental list of the rap artist as it wasn't all profanity and club music. I was grooving out, swaying to the music as I listened when someone tapped my shoulder. I looked up startled and a little pissed when I saw a guy interrupted me. My annoyance turned to surprise when I recognized his face.

"RJ?" I put the headphones down as I faced one of the leads from the record label Christian was signed to. "How are you?" I said, giving him a one armed hug out of habit. His wife Jennifer and I didn't end things on a positive note. Hell, we didn't end things at all: I just ignored her when she sent me that stupid message. I didn't know how to act around him.

"I'm good. Just working. What brings you here?" He asked me.

"Bachelorette/Birthday weekend.  Mariah tonight for my future stepmom, my cousin has a birthday party tomorrow. You said you're working?" I asked him.

"The headphones are a joint venture with the label. Christian invested in them and convinced the label to as well. We're selling albums with them in bundles."

"Cool. They are great investments. The noise cancelling really works. I didn't even hear you sneaking up behind me."

"I didn't sneak."

"Exactly." I chuckled, nervously. A moment of silence went by before I asked what was running through my mind.

"Is Christian here?" I blurted at the same time he said, "Does Christian know you're here?"

I shook my head. "No. I had no idea he would be here."

RJ raised an eyebrow at me. "Cody, he's behind the headphones, grew up with Noelle. She introduced him to Christian. She knew Christian invested. She should have known he would be here."

I frowned. "Wow. Ok. I gotta go. It was nice seeing you."

"You too." He said before I turned away. I quickly headed in the direction that Rocky and her dude walked over to. I eventually found them on a lounge bed, listening to music.

I removed one of her ear buds to talk to her. "Hey, I'm heading out."

"What? Why?"

"I'll explain later."

"No, I'm coming." Rocky shifted to stand, but I stopped her.

"No. Stay. As your wingwoman, you must stay and enjoy random peen." I instructed her.

The dude burst out laughing and Rocky tried to glare at me but was holding back a smile. "We turned them off dummy."

"Oh... Well, you'll be a big dummy if you don't make like Marvin Gaye and get it on." I grinned.

"I agree." He added.

"Bye Lily!" Rocky dismissed me.

"Later!" I waved at them.

"Call me the second you get back!" She called after me.

"Will do."

I felt bad for not trying to find the rest of my group, but I had no desire to be at the party any longer and risk an uncomfortable Christian sighting or run in. I was rushing to the elevator, ordering an Uber from my phone when I saw the door closing. I picked up the pace, and thankfully, a guy stuck out his arm to let me in.

"Thank you." I said, looking up from my phone, to flash a quick smile.

"Anytime." The older guy winked at me. "Where are you headed to gorgeous?"

Eww, he looked older than my dad.

"Home." I said, shortly as I quickly checked out my surroundings just in case the dude was a creeper. My eyes clashed with Christian's. Well, I couldn't see his eyes behind his shades, but I could feel them barring into mine. I stared back, completely oblivious to the guy still talking to me.

"... You should show me around." He continued yapping on.

"Sorry. I'm calling it a night." I said, pressing the 3rd floor button. When the elevator stopped, I got off.

"See you around sweetheart-"

I cringed at the guy's parting comment as the elevator closed. I couldn't believe I left, trying to avoid Christian and ended up on the same elevator as him. How did this happen to me? I contemplated going back to the party, but all I wanted was quiet... And food. I really was craving comfort food. I knew I was eating my emotions recently, but I had worst habits when dealing with a break up- like starting relationships with guys who were no fucking good for me. Seeing Christian reminded me of that mistake and I needed to eat to salve that wound. I shook off all negative thoughts and waited a few moments before pushing the down button for the elevator.

Before I got on, I checked to see who was inside. A harmless group of friends continued chatting among themselves about their plans as I stepped on. I got off on the ground floor, stepped into the lobby when I heard someone call my name. I looked up to see Christian, pulling down his sunglasses as he approached me.

"I literally got off the elevator to avoid this." I sighed.

"I know, although I was thinking it was like 40% me and 60% the old dude." He responded.

"Flip the percentages. He's a stranger so I can give him the benefit of the doubt." I said, tersely.

"I deserve that." Christian stated. "I wanted to talk to you about it for awhile, but I had no way of getting in contact with you."

"You coulda sent a message through Mia." I cocked my head to the side.

He shook his head, ashamed. "By the time I realized how wrong I was, I wanted nothing to do with her."

"Ok. So you wanted to say sorry?" I hurried him.

"Partially. I understand if you don't forgive me but I need to own up to my shit. You told me that remember? You couldn't be friends with someone who didn't take responsibility for their actions?"

"We can't be friends Christian."

"Maybe not, but I don't want you to run from a party because I'm there." Christian pointed out. As I thought about it, my Uber app pinged, notifying that my driver arrived.

"Look, cancel that. I'll take you anywhere you wanna go and if you don't like what I have to say, I'll leave any spot we happened to be at together." He pleaded.

Intrigued and knowing the feeling of wanting forgiveness made me agree. I cancelled my ride and followed Christian to his car that was waiting for him. Once I told the driver Caesars Palace and we took off, Christian began speaking.

"When we first started hanging out, I wasn't over Noelle. I didn't want to be with her, but I hadn't got over how she treated me. It fucking hurt when I realized she was using me for clout and a storyline. That's one of the reason I wanted to be with you 'cause I knew you weren't about that. I felt like if you liked me for me and not what I could do for you, it would prove something, ya know."

I nodded, completely understanding that feeling of self doubt and not being good enough.

"I should have respected you being honest with me about not being ready to be in a relationship, but I got pissed off because I felt like you were rejecting me. That's a trigger for me." He said, rubbing his hair, looking down.

I understood that too: it was a trigger for me as well.

"I was in a dark place: being pulled in all different directions, using drugs to stay awake, to numb my emotions, to get through the day. I kept thinking that when my album came out, I would be ok. My album came out, it was successful, but I still felt worthless."

Goddamn, I knew that feeling too. I still felt that. I grabbed his hand and he looked up.

"No, don't. I'm not telling you that to feel bad for me. I'm telling you so you know where I was at. I need you to know I don't think you're a slut or fake or anything else I called you. That was all me. I'm sorry for putting you through my shit Lily."

"I forgive you." I told him, squeezing his hand. "I told you before we have a lot in common. I meant that. I've felt everything you just described to me. My therapist told me once that hurt people hurt other people. I've done the same thing Christian. I'm glad you're at a place where you can deal with it and get passed it."

"Me too." He said, squeezing my hand.

We arrived at the resort and he half smiled at me. "So next time we're at the same party, do I need to duck out?"

"No. You better not leave without saying hi or sending a drink." I joked.

He gave me a full smile now. "Noelle really didn't tell you I was going to be there tonight?"

"No. Did she really know without a doubt you would be?" I questioned.

"Yeah, she reached out to Hugo about me filming with her weeks ago. Hugo harassed me about it, but I told him no way. I thought if she couldn't bring her cameras, she wouldn't come. Didn't work." He explained.

I kept quiet, but I was wondering if Bianca knew.

"Can I ask you a question about your relationship with her?" I broke the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you stay with her? I mean, she broke up with you. Even after she cheated, you were willing to make it work. Did you just love her that much?"

"Looking back, I don't think I ever loved her. At least, not who she really was." He started, thoughtfully. "Jennifer always says it's hard to work on a relationship, it's harder to work on yourself. Normally what she says goes in and out, but there was truth in that. I didn't want to deal with myself. It was easier to stay in the relationship." Christian confessed to me.

That resonated with me. Talking to Christian was like holding a fucking mirror up and I could finally see myself clearly. Seeing myself answered the question that had been plaguing me all week. I reached across to Christian and gave him a full hug.

"Thank you for stalking me and making me talk to you." I pulled away.

He chuckled "Anytime."

I got out of his car and took long strides into the hotel. I passed all the restaurants and lounges and went straight to my room. I located the nearest phone and grabbed it. I punched in the number I knew by heart and waited for it to ring. I knew calling like this was impulsive, but I promised myself this would be the last impulsive thing I would do. I looked at my phone and saw it was a little after 1 o clock, meaning it was 3 in the morning in Texas, but everything was so clear to me I had to get it out and be done with it. The call went to voicemail and I contemplated hanging up and calling until he answered, but I knew he was a hard sleeper. I decided to leave a voicemail instead.

"Hey Trevor. It's me, Lily. Calling from a hotel suite in Vegas, so you don't have to block this number too. A voicemail is a horrible way to clear the air, but I just needed to tell you something. When we met almost 10 years ago, I never felt worthy of family, friends, or love. I didn't think I was good enough for none of that. So when you came along and showed me affection and always made me smile, you were one of the few things that made me feel good about myself. I put you on a pedestal and when you loved me back, I felt like I was on that pedestal too. No matter how unhealthy and toxic our relationship was, having you in my life, having your love, kept me on the pedestal."

The tears were falling now, but I plowed through, my voice never wavering. It hurt to admit my fears, but that was the only way to move past them. I was finally ready. It had been a long time coming.

"I couldn't let you go because I was afraid of falling off that pedestal and being that 18 year old girl who felt worthless. I know now that I will never be that girl. I've changed not because of someone else, but because I don't need validation from anyone but myself. I don't need a pedestal because I lift myself up. I understand why you needed to cut me off. A text and blocking me was a fucked up way to end things, but I get it. It's the same reason why I'm letting you go now.  I know I will be ok alone and I hope you'll be ok too. I wish you nothing but love and happiness and success and everything else you want T-Rev."

My voice faltered when I called him T-Rev, but that's only because I deleted the nickname from my vocabulary. I thought if I didn't call him that, my feelings for him would eventually fade away or something. I shook my head at my childish notions as I put the phone down. My feelings would never just magically disappear; because I loved him, he would always be a part of me.

My mom was a part of me, even though she walked away. My dad was a part of me, he took me and showed me love the way he knew how. My brother, my first protector and friend was a part of me. Every friend, family member, ex; anyone I loved was a part of me forever. While they were parts of me, I determined who I was. For the first time in my life, I was 100% confident with who I was. I knew I was strong enough to be on my own and bounce back from anything. And I knew without a shadow of doubt I was worthy of my family, my friends and of love. True, unconditional love and I would never settle for anything less.

I went to sleep that night, feeling better about myself on my own than how I felt about myself with anyone else.

It was a fantastic fucking feeling.