Darts in the Dark (Outro)

"Darts in the dark
I don't know the way
Back to your heart
I don't know the way
Darts in the dark
Throwing darts in the dark, somebody's gonna get hurt
Throwing darts in the dark, only gonna make things worse
I will never find the center of your heart
If I keep throwing darts in the dark, throwing darts in the dark" Darts in the Dark by Magic

"Hey EJ." I smiled as he settled beside me. I put my arm around his shoulders and introduced him to Uriel. "EJ, this is my friend Uriel." I said.
EJ looked up at him. "You're really tall. Do you play basketball?"
"No." Uriel answered.
"EJ just made his club team. He had to try out and every thing." I bragged and EJ smiled proudly.

"Congratulations. Do you like watching basketball too?" Uriel asked him. I looked over to where Ethan stopped, waiting for his parents to get out their car. Our eyes met briefly, and I quickly turned back to Uriel and EJ.

"I like watching, playing, nba2k." EJ nodded.

"I work for the Dallas Mavericks. Are you a Mavericks fan?"

"No. I like the Warriors. I practice my form all the time so I can hit 3s like Steph Curry and Klay Thompson." EJ explained.

Uriel kept a straight face, even though he had no love for Golden State. "Keep practicing and you'll get there. Maybe I can get you tickets when we play the Warriors next season."
The pleasure I felt for Uriel planning that far in the future was short lived as Ethan approached us. I bit my lip, thinking how I should introduce them. I decided on the friend route like I did with EJ when Ethan stuck out his hand.

"I'm Ethan." He introduced himself casually.

"Uriel." Uriel responded, shaking his hand.

"Nice to meet you." Ethan said before looking down at EJ. "Let's go inside and get the snow cone machine set up."

"Ok. Hurry up and you can get the first one." EJ told me.
"I'll be right there."
Ethan nodded to me and Uriel before he led EJ inside my house. I watched them disappear in the house before I faced Uriel.
"You were really nice to him. Thank you."

"Why do you sound surprise?" He asked, holding me against him again.

"Because I know you're indifferent about kids and you hate Warrior fans." I embraced him, giving him a kiss on the cheek before I attempted to pull back. He stopped me, lifting my body up against his before he kissed me thoroughly goodbye.
"I'll talk to you soon." He said once we parted.

"Thanks for coming." I smiled as waved goodbye.

I stood at the curb, watching him drive off before a car pulled into his spot. I smiled when I saw it was Dino and keep the smile on my face when Mia got out the car too. Across the street, Jake, his dad Jose, Jose's wife Stephanie and a teenaged boy were making their way from his SUV.

I greeted them all with a smile and cast a curious glance at Jake's oldest nephew, who had to be 15 or 16 and was now as tall as me. "Who are you?"

"It's Issac. Remember me?" He said, nervously shooting Jake and Jose a look.

"No you're not. Last time I saw Isaac he was a kid." I said, suspiciously.

"He turns 15 this year." Jake informed me as Isaac grinned, the braces I remembered gone.

"No way. This is an imposter!" I joked.

"This is my grandson. How old do you think that makes me feel?" Jose laughed.
"I refuse to believe that much time has past." I shook my head as we entered my house.

Rocky, Brandon, Deborah, and Albert were already in the kitchen making their plates. My dad already set out the refrigerated food and was pointing out the different kinds of sushi. I reintroduced my dad to everyone before I went outside to check the coolers and make sure we had plenty of drinks. As the new group made their way outside with plates, I took drink orders and delivered them to the table. I noticed Ethan taking 3 snow cones to my cousin Benjamin's 3 boys.

"Hey. EJ said I got the first one!" I called, playfully.

"He also told you to hurry up. Say your goodbyes faster next time." Ethan responded. I watched him, willing him to look at me so I could read his face and see if there was a hidden meaning behind his words.

"Who was your friend in the Mercedes-Benz?" Mia asked me, interrupting my study of Ethan.

"Uriel." I told her shortly, handing her and Dino pineapple margaritas.

"I looked it up. Did you know that's a 130,000 dollar car?" Mia continued.

I glared at her as my answer.

"Does he own or lease it?" My dad asked me, curiously.

"I have no idea. After your talk with him, you know more about him than I do." I said, sarcastically.

Mama Smith and Rocky chuckled while Dad gave me a look. I immediately turned down my sarcasm. "I never asked."

"It was a beautiful car." Jose commented.

Albert asked my dad's opinion on leasing versus buying a luxury car, changing the subject from Uriel. After everyone had a drink, I headed to join Amber, Staci and Sandra on the daybed with Ace.

"Did you invite Mia?" I asked Amber.

"No." Amber shock her head.

"I don't know why she came. She knows you don't like her." Staci added. I didn't say anything because it was true. I didn't. I focused on beautiful Ace instead. He was falling asleep, his long eye lashes resting on his chubby checks. I cooed and cuddled him until Ethan came over.

"What kind of snow cone do you want?" He asked.

"I'll get it."

"I got it. What do you want?"

"Surprise me?"

He nodded and asked everyone else if they wanted one before he left.

"You made him wear the shirt?" Amber asked me.

"Huh?" I looked at her.

"The I got the sauce shirt." Amber explained.

Sure enough, when Ethan brought me my snow cone, I noticed he was wearing it.

"I like your shirt." I complimented him.

"I'm not surprised considering you picked it out."

"I'm surprised you're actually wearing it." I countered.

"You bought it for me. Why wouldn't I wear it?" He questioned me.

I definitely knew there was a hidden meaning behind that. I looked down at the blue snow cone with a white center and fruit snacks on top, avoiding his eyes. Upon closer inspection, I saw they were Scooby Doo fruit snacks.

I blushed and looked back up at him. "Really?"

"Blue and fruit snacks. Still your favorites?"

"Yeah. They are. Thank you." I said, unable to hold back my smile. Ethan left to make himself and help EJ make a plate. I took a picture of my snow cone before I sampled it. I immediately recognized cream of coconut as the white center and a hint of blue Curacao liqueur in the syrup. It was amazing.

Rocky joined us, putting Ace who was falling asleep in his car seat. We asked how how she was doing and she relayed how little sleep she was getting, how his first check up went, and how much Brandon was stepping up to help them both.
As she talked, I looked around, wonder why Forrest hadn't joined us to hang with Rocky.

"Where's Forrest?" I asked Rocky once I hadn't seen him.

"He left." Rocky replied.

"What? When? He didn't even say bye." I said, looking at her questioningly.

"I think you were saying goodbye to your friend with the 130,000 Benz." Rocky smirked at me. I narrowed my eyes at her when Amber asked what that meant.

"Nothing." I said to her, pulling out my phone to text Forrest, asking why he left without saying goodbye.

The sun was starting to set so I got up and started the fire pit before sitting out marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers. After helping the kids make smores, I squeezed in between Richard and Bianca on the sectional.

"You comfortable? Have enough room?" Bianca asked me.

"Wait." I said, putting my legs up to drape over hers. "Now I am."

"So childish." Bianca shook her head at me.

"You do the same thing." Noelle pointed out.

"Yeah, but Lily's ass is bigger than mine. It takes up more room." Bianca teased.

"You have no ass. It's like a extended back with a crack." I teased her back.

Richard, Noelle and Bianca laughed and my dad came out of nowhere and said, "Lily, is that language necessary?"

"No..." As soon as he turned around, I added under my breath, "but it's my house so I say what I want."

"What was that Lily?" Bianca asked me, loudly, causing my dad to turn back to look at us.

"Nothing." I replied as they laughed at me.

I was having a great time with my friends and family. Maybe a little too much fun as the drinks flowed and everyone talked and laughed. As we sat around the fire, I learned Cam and Jenna were going to start trying to get pregnant after my Dad's wedding.

"We didn't want to risk getting pregnant before the wedding but hopefully sometime next year will start our family." Jenna said, wistfully to Sandra.

"Wait. What risk?" Amanda asked Jenna.

"The Dominican Republic has a Zika outbreak." Jenna told her.
"You don't have to plan your family around the wedding. We can get married in California." Dad told Cam and Jenna.

Beatrice face remained neutral, but I could tell the way she talked about her destination wedding, it's what she really wanted.

"If it's not in the Dominican Republic, I'm not coming!" I protested.

Bianca and Noelle laughed at me while Dad gave me another look. I shrugged. "I didn't take a week off work for a wedding in California. Just saying."

"Got to the Dominican Republic. Enjoy your time with each other now. Believe me, once you have kids, time alone is hard to come by." Benjamin advised them.

"Please. I'm always begging you to go out. When we do have a babysitter, you don't want to do anything!" Sandra, his wife, exclaimed.

"The last time you got dressed up and we went out, this one happened." Benjamin said, motioning to his youngest son Braden in his lap.

I giggled while Bianca made a disgusted face. "Ew Benny. I'm not trying to hear about your weak pull out game."

"I'm married. What pull out game?" Benjamin rebutted, causing Bianca to gag and Sandra to pinch him. I laughed at them.
"See Dad? It's really not my fault. Apparently, inappropriateness is in my DNA." I joked.

My dad didn't respond but Benjamin smiled. "You're right about that. I remember how your mom would always make little comments that infuriated my mom."

"Really?" I said, curiously. "Like what?"

"I don't really remember Lily. I was 12, 13, 14 at the time. I just remember being in awe of your mom. My mom bulldozed everyone except her. That and her record collection was impressive." Benjamin relayed.

"She loves music too?"

He nodded. "She loved rock music. Redbone, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Buddy Miles, Santana-"

"Santana?" I asked, sitting up anxiously.

"Yes. They were one of her favorites. She played them all the time."

"That's crazy. I cry every time I hear their music. I still don't know why."

"Well if you ever reach out to her, she might know why." Benjamin hinted, trailing off.

"I already did so if she gets in touch with me, I'll ask her about it." I confessed to him.

Benjamin looked pleased while Bianca and Cam looked shocked. My dad just stared at me.

"Lily that's huge. When did you reach out?" Jenna asked.

"A few weeks ago. I haven't heard from her yet." I replied.

"That's not long ago at all. Just remember how difficult it was for you to reach out and give her time. I know it's hard but be patient."

I gave her a small smile. "Yeah. My therapist said the same thing. I am."

My dad excused himself and walked into the house. Beatrice got up with him. I was on my way to follow so we could talk when Richard called me.

"I think there's something wrong with your water curtain." He said. I looked over at it and saw that the lights were on, but no water was pouring out.

"Dude, you installed it. What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure. I think the pump is off. Do me a favor and twist the spout while I check the pump." Richard said, leading me to the grass. I stood to the side holding the spout when I noticed Ethan as he sat at the picnic table with his Jake, Brandon, Will, his parents, Jose and Stephanie. He nodded his head in warning, but I turned around to see EJ with the remote too late. Richard ran off as soon as EJ pressed the button, causing the water to cascade on my head.

I ran after EJ, demanding he give me the remote as he laughed. He played keep away with the remote and the other kids before I finally grabbed EJ and carried him kicking and screaming to the water curtain. I held him under the stream until Benjamin's oldest Benji brought me the remote. We were both soaking wet, but I knew I had a clean change of clothes for EJ since the last time he spent the night. We went inside and I let him change in my bathroom as I went upstairs to change.

My dad wasn't in the living room after I got done changing into my Rihanna t-shirt and jean shorts with my wet hair in a side braid. I went back to the party and decided to move the food that was sitting outside into the kitchen since no one was eating. Jessica left for the evening, so I made myself a rum and redbull as I turned on my dancehall music playlist.
"Clean up turn up?" Amber stated as I started to gather the food on the table.

"You know it!" I said, looking around for my dad. When I noticed he had joined everyone at the picnic table, engrossed in a conversation with Albert and Jose, I did a sexy whine against the table.

"You're stupid." Rocky laughed at me as she breastfed Ace under a cover.

"Don't think I didn't notice you looking around for your dad." Sammy smirked at me.

"Bullshit. This is my house. I do what I want." I said, mid shimmy.

"Hi Mr. Ortiz!" Amber exclaimed, making me jump and whip around. When my dad was still at the picnic table, all 3 of them laughed at me.

"Bitches!" I laughed too.

On our multiple trips to take everything inside, Sammy, Amber and I danced around, singing to each other as they helped me tidy up. Once, I caught Ethan watching. He looked away, refocusing on whatever they were talking about. Every once in a while, I could feel him watching me. I didn't look at him to confirm, but I knew it was him.

We had all the food in the kitchen and made more drinks before sitting at the table with Brandon, Jake, Dino, Mia, Cherish, Isaac, Richard, and Corey. We were talking about everyone's plan for Monday when Shaggy, "It Wasn't Me" came on.

"Ohmygosh, I used to love this song!" I squealed, excitedly as I got up to turn the volume up. Amber, Sammy, Richard and I were singing the lyrics to each other and dancing at the table together.

"Is that what you told Christian when he caught you with another guy at the strip club? It wasn't me?" Mia cackled from the opposite end of the table.

I looked at Amber in disbelief, having no idea why she would tell Mia what happened. I turned to Mia next. "It's none of your business what I told him."
"I'm just joking. Calm down."
"I am calm. There are kids presence so don't joke like that around them. In fact, we don't have that type of relationship, so don't joke like that around me either " I told her, evenly.

"Why do you have a problem with me?" Mia exclaimed.
"Right now I don't." I said, warningly.
Dino stood up. "Come on Mia. Let's go."
"You don't have to go Dino." I told her.
"Mia came with me and it's obvious you don't want her here so we're leaving." Dino said, indignantly.

"I'm pretty sure it was obvious when I didn't invite her, but I welcomed her anyway. As long as she keeps her jokes to herself, it's fine." I stated.
"Well, I don't wanna feel like I'm walking on eggshells because you chose not to like me." Mia replied, standing up.

"Me either, so let's just go." Dino added.
"Ok. Get home safe." I said, flatly.

They said their goodbyes and I wasn't sad to see either of them go. I was when Jake, Jose, Stephanie and Isaac left shortly after, but I understood because Dino was Jake's girlfriend. I walked them out and Jake pulled me aside.

"Sorry about that. Daniela is uncomfortable around you for reasons that have nothing to do with you."

"What reasons?"

"I told her about my exes before I knew you two knew each other."

"Oh. What did you tell her about me?"I asked curiously.

"What happened at the strip club?" He smiled at me.

"Yep. You're right. None of my business. Have a great night." I waved at him.

When I came back Amber tried to apologize for telling Mia, but I cut off her off.

"I don't care. Just in the future, don't talk about me around either one of them."

"Dino too?"

I nodded and she frowned. "Can we get back to the turn up?" I asked her.

She smiled and I turned up the music. Drake's "Find Your Love" was playing. I couldn't help thinking about Staci's comments about Ethan and I looked over at him. He was talking to Benjamin and Cam but soon our eyes met. I smiled as I swayed to the beat, maintaining eye contact with Ethan and singing along with lyrics.

"I better find your loving
I better find your heart
I bet if I give all my love
Then nothing's gonna tear us apart"

Once the song ended, he put his drink down and headed my way. He keep his eyes on me as he walk past me into the house. I followed him inside, my heart thumping in anticipation. He stood in the kitchen, waiting for me as I closed the door.

"Are you flirting with me?" He asked me straight out.

"Umm.. Maybe a little bit." I answered, truthfully.

"Why?" He asked.

I flushed. "I don't know."

"Aren't you tried of not knowing? Go out with me so we can figure it out."

"Ethan-" I started but he stopped me.

"One date. If it doesn't work out or feel right, I'll leave it alone and never mention it again." He bargained.

"Ethan, it's not that simple."

"It is if we don't complicate it. We've done that before- at least, I know I did. The only thing I'm asking from you is your time and honesty. You can give me that as a friend." He laid out to me, clearing his thoart, his nervous give away. "You said you don't want to hurt our friendship. We can't as long as we tell each other the truth. Do you have feelings for me Lily?"

"Yes. I don't know what they are or where they come from but I do." I answered honestly.

"What day are you free next week?"

"Any day after 7."

"Tuesday. 8:30. I'll pick you up."

"Ok." I nodded right as Brandon and Rocky came in with Ace. They were getting ready to leave. Ethan went back outside as I moved to make them both plates to take home.
Slowly but surely, people started to leave and I tried to give away all the leftover food and drinks I had. After everyone left and I put up the food I couldn't give away, I went outside and laid on the daybed with Bianca. Noelle went to their hotel to get their things and was going to come back so they could head to the airport together. We stretched out, listening to my beach playlist, silently looking at the night sky.

"It's crazy how much time changes things. Remember where we were last Memorial Day?"

"Yeah, in Mexico. You were scheming how you can get your designs to Noelle, and ended up stealing her from Christian." I looked at her with a grin.

"Shut up." Bianca said, turning towards me. "What do you think of Noelle?"

"She's great. If I had any doubts about how much she cares about you, I don't now. Just the fact that she came here proved it. And she was nice to everyone. Even bitchy Mia."

"What's her deal anyway?"

"Don't know, don't care." I shrugged.

"Do you wanna know what I think of Uriel?" Bianca asked with a grin.

"No... In fact." I kicked her on the shin.

"Oww! Mother fuck-"

"That's what you get for outing us in front of my dad."

"But your dad liked him?"

"Don't know don't care." I repeated.

"I'm sure he will. He kinda reminds me of your dad."

"Eww, Bianca. No he doesn't!"

"I'm serious. First generation, business men, heath and style conscious, athletic." she rattled off as I covered my ears."Don't be ashamed. All girls want a man like their daddy."

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!" I exclaimed as she rolled back over, laughing her non-existent ass off.

She was telling me about some launch party they had to head back to California for when the beginning strains of Lava started playing from my speaker. I immediately got up to skip to the next song. I didn't bother me thinking about Trevor as I listened to the playlist we put together in the Florida Keys, or when Bianca mentioned our Memorial Day trip last year; but I couldn't help the tears that threaten to form when I heard that song.

The beach boys played instead and Bianca and I layed back, singing off key until Noelle came back. I gave them both a hug goodbye, thanking them for coming and telling Bianca to call when they got home. After they left, I went to bed where Justine was waiting for me.

I woke up late Monday morning and went to the kitchen to put away the clean dishes in the dishwasher that someone already loaded for me. I had my classic rock playlist of favorites I discovered from Trevor. I added Santana as I waited for the coffee to brew. I made myself a cup before sitting at my table. I checked my email for anything from my mom before I went on social media.

I ignored the notifications and new posts as I checked Trevor's feed. It looked like he was having a great time in Memphis, Tennessee, with Bilal, J-Mike, and the same girl he brought to Rocky's birthday party. I liked one of the pictures of him and Bilal at a bar and made a comment about them enjoying the birth place of my first love: Justin Timberlake. I put my phone away so I didn't check for a response when my Dad and Cam came back from a run.

"I didn't realized you listen to classic rock." Cam said, sitting at the kitchen table as I brought him and my dad bottled water.

"You know Trevor is a big classic rock fan. It grew on me."

Cam chugged his water, looking over at Dad.

"I wanted to talk to you about your mother." My dad started.

"Ok..."

"I know Benjamin is encouraging you to reach out to her, but you have to realize the memories he has of her are those of a child. I am an adult and I never understood your mother or the dynamics of her family. I don't want you to get your hopes up Lilian."

"I'm not. I understand that. I went over it with my therapist a lot before I reached out. I know she may not respond how I would like or maybe not at all. I know it's a shoot in the dark but I have to take it so I don't have any regrets. No matter how she responds, I've made my peace. I'm good no matter what."

"And if you're not good for any reason?" My dad asked.

"You're my first call." I told him, giving him a hug. When Dad took a bottle of water upstairs to Beatrice, Cam stated,

"You're calling him before me?" Cam asked.

"Of course not. I just want him to feel like he's first. You definitely are." I grinned.

"Hmph. You're not just saying that like you told Dad?"

"Naahhh." I said, holding it out too long to sound sincere.

"Before Uriel?"

"Definitely!"

"Ethan?"

My grin froze on my face. "Why do you ask about him?"

"I don't know. I picked up a vibe. You two had some intense eye contact."

"You and you're vibes. Ethan and I are friends. You are my brother. You get the first call." I promised.

For now...

"Good." Cam nodded.

1. 
   

   
   

Darts in the Dark (Intro)

"I don't know the way back to the place where our love lies
Blindfolded, it feels, and we're trying to see out to the sunlight
I used to love with my eyes closed
But now it seems that we just keep
So we just keep dancing around every day
And we just keep playing the same guessing games
And we both know we'll never go back to the start
If we just keep throwing darts in the dark" Darts in the Dark by Magic!

Friday morning I met with Dr. Pereira and I told her about my lackluster date with Uriel. When she asked me if I planned to see him again, I told her I was.

"I don't want to be quick to judge just because we don't have a lot in common. I don't want to date someone exactly like me." I said, making a face.

"Why do you say that?" She asked me with a gentle smile.

"Two emotional, impatient, over indulgent fun loving people as a couple would never work." I said, only half joking.

"Is that why you're attracted to Uriel- because he's so different from you?"

"No. I mean, I like his confidence. He's very sure of himself and proud. Maybe to a fault, but I like it. He's also very straightforward so I never have to think about where I stand with him because he tells me. I like him because of his qualities not because he's different."

"Are you attracted to him or do you admire him?"

"What's the difference?"

"If you're attracted to him, you have a desire to be with him. Admiration means you have a desire to be like him." Dr. Pereira clarified.

I thought it over for a moment. "I'm not sure. All I know is that he's outside of my circle, we have a clean slate and he wants to continue to see me. I'm going to date him until I figure it out."

"Understandable. What else is new for you?"

I told her all about my barbecue and my family coming over the weekend. I was truly excited to see everyone and anxious to show off my new backyard and barbecue skills. While I was talking, I revealed to her that Ethan had given me grilling lessons.

"That was nice of him."

"Yes. Yes it was." I agreed, thinking about how willing he was to help and spend time with me. I frowned up, wondering if that's when he discovered he had feelings for me or if he never stopped.

"Why does that upset you?" Dr. Pereira asked me, reading my face.

"I'm not upset... I just recently found out that Ethan does have feelings for me." I admitted.

"How did you find that out?" She asked.

"He told me."

She waited patiently as I explained everything that happened.

"I'm pretty sure he's moved on so it doesn't matter when or how his feelings occurred. It's probably best we don't screw up our friendship." I finished.

"You keep saying that; to me, to him, but you never answered the question of whether you have feelings for him."

"Does it matter? I mean, we're friends. Isn't it better to leave things the way they are?" I questioned her.

"Only you know the answer to that question. You need to ask yourself how a friendship can work if you can't be honest about your feelings. Can you really mantain a friendship if you have unexplored feeling for each other? Do you have feelings for him Lily?" Dr. Pereira questioned me in return.

"You said it was natural to wonder what could have been. Maybe that's where the feelings are coming from." I avoided answering.

"Possibly. With past relationships, you may wonder what could have been, but you know why the relationship didn't work out. You can't say that about Ethan because you never dated. Analyzing your feelings doesn't change how you feel. You need to be honest with yourself and him." She adviced me.

Our time ended and she asked if I wanted to talk for another 30 minutes. I declined. I didn't want to talk anymore about feelings for Ethan. Besides, I still had a few things to do to be ready for my dad's and brother's arrival. Their flight would be getting in around noon when I was at work, but they both knew my garage code and I left a spare key in the garage.

At work, the day dragged by slowly. I was anxious to get home, see my family and enjoy my three day weekend with them.

When I got home, I saw my brother first, lounging on my chase and flipping through ESPN channels.

"Cam!!!" I shrieked throwing down my bag to give him a hug. He stood up just in time as I launched myself in his arms.

"Hey sis." He smiled, holding me tight.

"Lily's home!" Jenna called upstairs as she joined us from the guest bathroom. I hugged her next, gushing over her straightened hair and deep tan. "The beach is our second home. We're those people now."

Dad and Beatrice came downstairs and I grinned as I gave them both a hug as well.

"How was the flight?" I asked them.

"It was fine. I never have any problems flying American." Dad replied. "We need to talk about your backyard. I didn't look like there was enough seating." He started in right away.

"We can talk about seating at dinner. Where do y'all wanna go?" I asked.

Cam gave me a sheepishly look. "We already went to Texas Brazil."

"We brought you home a plate." Jenna added.

"We also went to a furniture store. I bought you a few pieces." My dad informed me.

"You can return anything you don't want." Beatrice added, smiling at me.

I didn't know what pissed me off more: them going out to eat without me or changing things in my backyard. I decided to focus on my backyard; I couldn't do anything about them eating already. I went outside to look at what my dad did.

My deck was pretty much the same- There were 4 new barstools in front of the bar. They matched perfectly with my 12 seat table. I walked down to my fire pit where a new wicker sectional with blue cushions sat across from the 6 patio chairs I had circling it before. The portable picnic bench I had against the fence was moved under a palm tree to make room for an outdoor daybed.

I took a deep breath, taking in the changes. I told myself that this was my dad's way of contributing. I wished he would have asked me first, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't a big deal. While I didn't think the new additions were necessary, it wasn't completely changed like I feared. The daybed would probably go only because it took up too much of Justine's grassy area, but everything else could stay.

"It's definitely more seating. Thanks dad." I told him with a sincere smile.

"You like it?" He asked, sounding surprised himself.

"If you would have called me I would have told you not everyone is coming at the same time so seating won't be an issue, but everything looks nice." I explained. When Cam looked at me, skeptically, I smiled. "What did y'all get me to eat?"

We went inside and I got my takeout and heated it up. I asked about Justine, and dad told me he put her in her room. Not saying a word, I went upstairs to let her out before I changed my clothes and ate dinner with Justine. As I ate, I asked them about their plans for Saturday. Dad told me he and Cam were going to go golfing with Cam's old boss and mentor William. I returned Cam's skeptical look now. William was Cam's surrogate father when him and Dad were estranged. Cam's look told me he was anxious about them meeting up too, so I didn't comment.

Beatrice cut off our silent conversation to inform me she would stay with me and help me with whatever I needed. Jenna told me she would help me too after she met up with Amanda. Around 10, Dad and Beatrice retired to bed. I immediately turned on Cam.

"Really? You just let him fuck up my backyard?" I said, in fake outrage.

Cam laughed. "I thought you liked it. I told him you wouldn't and you went along with him."

"It's called picking my battles. It wasn't worth a fight."

"Exactly. Why should I fight with him about it too?" Cam grinned.

"What you should have done was invite William to the barbecue. I really want to see that battle." I threw back at him.

"No battle. Nothing to see but golfing." Cam said.

"That's right hun. Speak it into existence." Jenna smiled at him.

"Let's hope because if they get into a fight, I'll never forgive you for not seeing it." I joked.

"If they get in a fight, I'll record it." Cam teased right back and we laughed.

"Y'all are awful." Jenna shook her head at us.

"Maybe, but who you got in a fist fight?" I asked her.

"I want no parts of this." Jenna threw her hands up and went upstairs, giving Cam an adoring smile. His eyes followed her until she disappeared and he looked back at me.

"I got William. He has combat training. That never goes away." Cam answered me.

"Yeah, but Dad's got that wild card factor. Crazy beats strength everyday so I got dad." I wagered.

"Bet. If you win I'll take you to Texas Brazil. I know you're mad you missed the all you can eat." He chuckled at me.

"Fuck you. I went to Fago de Chao this week anyway so I'm good."

"Yeah? How was it?"

"It was good. I think they have better sides."

"Which one is better price wise?"

I shrugged. "I didn't pick up the check.

"Oh? Who's the guy and when can I meet him?"

"What makes you think I went out with a guy? It could have been a work dinner or with friends."

"It could have been, but was it?"

"None of you business."

He smiled but dropped it. "I noticed you and Trevor are friends again on Facebook. Can I ask about that or is it none of my business too?"

I shrugged like it was no big deal. "We're trying to be friends. We'll see how that goes."

"Did you invite him to the barbecue?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"We weren't talking when I made the guest list."

"I don't think it's too late to invite him. It's just a 4 hour drive right?"

"Right... But we're not that close of friends. Just social media friends."

"Not even that or you would have known he's in Tennessee this weekend." Cam contradicted me.

"So what's the point of asking if I invited him when you know he's in Tennessee?" I said, annoyed.

"He's going to be in LA. I told him he can stay with me, but he thinks you won't be ok with it. He doesn't think you meant it when you said you wanted to try to be friends."

"I did mean it!" I cried, frustrated.

"Ok Lil-" Cam tried to calm me down, but I was already pissed.

"He just wants everything on his terms! Typical Trevor! I mean, what does him staying with you have to do with me? This isn't high school. You don't have to hate him because I do!"

His eyes widen. "You hate him?"

I thought about it as I calmed down. "Of course not. It's the opposite. That's why it's so hard. Me just entertaining the idea of being his friend is trying. One day, I'll sit down with him, hash everything out and we'll really be- ok. I'm just not at that place yet."

Cam nodded and gave me a small smile. "Listen to you. All mature and shit."

"Urgh. Whatever! Kiss my mature ass. I'm going to bed. "

"Night sis." He chuckled after me.

The next morning, I woke up early, excited. I made breakfast of eggs, turkey sausage and bacon, hashbrowns, yogurt and fresh fruit. My dad was up first, already dressed for golf.

"Morning dad. What can I get you?"

"You didn't have to make all this. I know you have a lot of cooking to do. You know Cam or I can handle the grill tomorrow." Dad mentioned.

"No dad. You are my guests. I appreciate all the help but I want you to just relax. Let me take care of you for a change."

"Ok. I'll take coffee, 2 eggs over easy and turkey bacon."

I had his plate and coffee in front of him by the time Jenna, Beatrice and Cam joined us. We all made our plates and sat down for breakfast before Cam and Dad left to play golf with William. Jenna helped me clean the kitchen while we waited for Amanda. She was coming over to bake and get the desserts ready.

When she arrived, we assisted Amanda with an assortment of frozen whoopie pies, cheesecake and brownies from starch. While they were baking, Amanda and Jenna caught up and Beatrice and I gave them alone time by going outside to decorate.

As we decorated with the luau and Japanese decorations I bought to fit into the tropical zen garden theme of my backyard, we actually had a pleasant time. She talked about how much Dad was proud of me and how lovely my house was. We talked about her wedding planning and her excitement carried over. Honestly, it was the first one on one time we had and I enjoyed it.

Dad and Cam returned and apparently they had a good time together. After lunch, I went to my room to take a nap. I woke up when Sammy called asking if it was ok if she filmed the Honey Bee video that evening. I told her to come over anytime as I got up. Cam and Jenna were getting ready to meet up with some friends and Dad and Beatrice were going out for dinner. They all invited me to join them, but I declined. I had a lot of prep work to do for the barbecue... And as much as I loved them, playing third wheel to either couple did not sound fun.

After they left, I marinaded my pork shoulder that I was going to BBQ early the next morning. I was making room in my refrigerator for all the food when my doorbell rang. I went to open the door, Justine hot on my trail. When she saw Ethan, she jumped on his legs, barking. I grabbed her, trying to calm her down, but she didn't listen.

"Sit." He commanded her, firmly, putting down the bags he was holding. He rubbed her, easing her into the sitting position. She complied, sitting down, panting heavily.

"Wow. That's a first." I smiled.

"You should let me keep her. I'll have her trained in a week." Ethan suggested, patting her before standing back up, picking up his bags.

"Don't get cocky. She'll have you broken in 2 days." I countered. "What's in the bags?" I asked him as we walked in the kitchen.

"My mom sent over food. We're planning on coming over later in the day tomorrow with Rocky and Brandon so she wanted you to have it now."

"I told her she didn't have to make anything." I said watching him pull food out the bag. She sent over pecan and lemon bars, red potato salad, deviled eggs and the cherry coke jello salad she made on Easter that I loved.

"Thank you. Let me find a place to put it." I said, opening the refrigerator and peering inside. "I'm considering buying a second refrigerator to put in my garage."

"Let me see before you do that." He said, moving behind me looking over my shoulder. "Do you have gallon zip lock bags?"

"Yes." I nodded, overly aware of how close he was to me.

He reached over to point out a shelf. "Take this out." He instructed me.

"Ok..." I breathed, even though I wasn't sure how pulling out the shelf holding half the meat would help. Or why his simple command sent a thrill through my body...

"Put all the meat in Ziploc bags; it should fit at the bottom. Then, put the shelf in at a higher level." He explained.

"Ok." I inhaled sharply, as I pulled out the meat. He took it from me and set it on the counter next to us. I walked away to grab the Ziploc bags. I went to the counter to put the meat inside them as he removed the middle shelf. Once he had it out, I returned the meat back in the refrigerator on the shelf. It all fit, leaving one open shelf like Ethan predicted. He closed the door from behind me to make sure it sealed properly. It did.

I turned to smile at Ethan "Perfect. Thank you so much."

He smiled back at me. "You're welcome."

All of a sudden, I could feel this heat between us. It was like it came from nowhere; one second we were organizing the refrigerator and the next desire overwhelmed me. The way he was looking at me, his eyes darkened, I knew without a doubt he felt it too...

He took a step back, turning away.

"One more thing-" He said, pulling out one last Tupperware container. "It should be enough marinade for 3 or 4 pounds of meat. Let me know if you need more." He said, facing me again to hand over the sauce.

"That's more than enough." I breathed. "Thank you. Again."

"You're welcome again."

I could no longer deny I had feelings for him. I didn't know what they were or what I wanted to do about them, but they were there. Right now, our friendship was still intact. While I didn't want to risk our it, Dr. Pereira's words ran through my mind: How could we have a friendship if we both had feelings for each other?

My doorbell rang again and I reluctantly left to answer it. It was Sammy and Michelle, the Honey Bee that would be starring in the video. Shortly after they arrived, Ethan left, telling me he would see me tomorrow.

I pushed all thoughts of Ethan out my head as I focused on completing all my prep work. By the time I was finishing, Sammy and Michelle shot the video outside and was wrapping up. Sammy left some cut up fruit and juice in my refrigerator that I had just enough room for. I took a shower and was in bed, sleep, before my family made it home.

I woke up bright and early Sunday morning, amped and ready for my party. I went and picked up donuts and croissants before starting the grill to barbecue the pork low and slow before I increased the heat to grill the skewers, burgers, hotdogs and links. I was putting the beans in the crockpot when Cam and Jenna joined me in the kitchen.

"Morning!" I greeted them cheerfully.

Jenna replied warmly while Cam muttered, reaching for a donut.

"Hungover big bro? Can't hang anymore?" I teased him.

"No. Jenna made me get up. Said you probably needed help." He grumbled.

"No. I said that I was coming down to help Lily and if you wanted coffee come down and get it yourself." Jenna corrected him.

"Same thing. It was your tone."

"What tone?"

"The same tone Priscilla gets when she wants Johnny to help with their kids. Telling, not asking."

I winced at the mention of Johnny. "He's such a dick. Why does he need to be asked to help with his kids?"

Cam looked surprised at my outburst. "I guess because she's a stay at home mom and he's used to her doing everything."

"Just because she's a stay at home mom doesn't mean she should do everything. That's bullshit." I slammed him.

"Ok..." Cam said, fixing his coffee.

Jenna changed the subject. "I invited Emily and her boyfriend over, if that's ok."

"Yes. Of course. If dad didn't buy the extra seats, I would have said no, but we have plenty of seats now." I grinned, playfully.

"Are you being sarcastic?" My dad asked as he joined us.

"No." I lied.

Around 10am, my doorbell rang and I rushed to answer, knowing it had to be Bianca and Noelle. I was half correct as I greeted just Bianca with huge hug.

"Nice to see you too cuz." Bianca laughed as she hugged me back. "Look at you. Grill master!" She said, pulling back and reading my apron.

"You know it!" I smiled, flaunting the apron.

"Where is Noelle?"

"Still at the hotel."

"Hotel? You got a hotel? I thought y'all were only in town for today. You could have stayed with me."

"We are here only for the day. If you saw the amount of stuff Noelle has to travel with, you would understand why we need a hotel room. She'll be over when the party starts." Bianca explained before she greeted and hugged everyone.

I quickly put Bianca to work in the kitchen, giving her simple tasks, like cutting up fruits and vegatables for the salsas and guacamole, that I trusted she wouldn't screw up. Around 11, I sent Dad and Cam to pick up ice and the sushi I ordered. Beatrice went too, saying she wanted to grab a few things for the party. As soon as they left, Jenna turned to me.

"Ok, why don't you like Johnny?" She asked.

I shot Bianca a look and she pursed her lips together. We already discussed my one night stand with Johnny and she thought I should tell Cam about what happened between us when I found out he was working for my dad. I hadn't because I was ashamed that I contributed to him cheating on his wife at the time, even though I didn't know.

"He's not a good guy; especially to his wife." I said simply.

Jenna frowned, but nodded. "Priscilla alluded to some trust issues but she said he's changed since they had kids."

I shook my head. "When I lived in California we hung out when I didn't know he was married or had kids. Based of his behavior when I was in town for the Superbowl, I seriously doubt he's changed."

Jenna's eyes widen in shock. "Does Cam know?"

"No."

"I told her to tell him." Bianca butted in.

"I didn't think it was necessary when he was just working for my dad but now that he and Cam are becoming friends, I don't know if he should know. I guess I'm leaving that up to you."

Jeanna blew out an exasperated sigh. "Ok. Thanks for telling me."

I turned on my dancehall music to change the mood and we had a great time cooking together. Sammy, Amanda and my bartender for the day Jessica arrived around 11:30. Sammy and Jessica set up the bar while Amanda got the desserts on serving trays. When Cam, my dad and Beatrice came back, I put the beers, water and sodas in separate coolers before I pulled the pork off the grill.

My brother tried to take over grill duties, but I quickly dismissed him when he asked where my lighter fluid was. I asked Ethan the same question, but he told me not to use it. He taught me how to control the heat without using lighter fluid which ruined the charcoal taste. When I explained this to Cam, he cocked his head at me.

"You've been hanging with Ethan again?" He asked.

"What do you mean? We're friends. We never stopped hanging out." I said, putting the burgers on the grill with a slight smile.

I eventually did let Cam take over so I could get dressed. Bianca bought me a multi-colored tropical print kimono. I paired it with a simple nude romper, white flip flops, and gold hoops and studs. Beatrice bought me a beautiful white flower crown that I wore over my wavy hair.

While I was finishing up, Amber and her family arrived. My cousin Benjamin and Brittany showed up with their families next. I turned on the digital water curtain for the kids before I sat down with Benjamin, his wife Sandra, Brittany and her new boyfriend and baby's father James. Sandra was super complimentary and sweet and she and Amber bonded right away over them both being working moms with three kids. James was super quiet but perked up with Jessica the bartender as she made him a drink.

I excused myself to give Forrest, Jordan and Blake a tour when they arrived.

"Hey. I thought y'all would be coming over later with Rocky." I said, giving them a smile.

"And get the leftovers? No way." Blake grinned, jokingly.

"There's plenty of food. C'mon." I showed them the food set up in the kitchen and drinks at the bar and coolers outside. Forrest seemed like he had a lot on his mind. I tried to talk to him, but I was distracted by Staci's arrival. She was wearing a green palm leaf print maxi dress reminisce of Jennifer Lopez iconic green Versace Grammy's gown. She strutted on the patio, grinning and posing when I saw her.

I looked at Cherish, looking adorable in a floral matching set. "You know your mom is ridiculous?" I joked.

"She reminds me everyday." Cherish smirked, side eying her mom.

"Don't hate. Appreciate." Staci smiled, with a slow spin around.

"Cherish, let's get some food and let your mom appreciate herself." I told Cherish, leading her to the plates. Staci came along and we made our plates together.

After we grabbed drinks we went back to the table. We were sitting down and chatting with Amber, Will, Blake, Jordan, Forrest, and Sammy when I saw Uriel, Trent and Monica make their way outside with Jenna.

I stood up, stunned. I invited Monica and I assumed Trent would come too. I had no idea Monica would invite Uriel as well. Nor did I ever think he would come. I made my way towards them.

"Hey. Good to see you guys." I smiled, welcomingly, giving them all a hug. "Glad you could make it."

"Glad to be here. Hope you don't mind I invited Trent and Uriel." Monica beamed at me.

"Not at all. The more the merrier."

While I showed them the food and the bar, I pulled Uriel aside to talk to him.

"I'm surprised to see you here." I told him as we got some privacy next to the bar.

"I was surprised to learn you were Monica's friend that was having a party today."

"You didn't recognize my address?"

"Monica didn't give me the address until I committed to come."

I sighed. "Maybe I should tell her that were dating so she can stop trying to push us together?" I whispered.

"No. She needs to mind her business." He said, in a normal voice.

"I know, but I don't think she will."

"Maybe not, but it's the principal of it."

"What are you two talking about?" Monica interrupted us.

"Drink orders. Mai tai? Rum Runner? Blue Hawaiian?" I replied.

"Since when do you drink fruity drinks Uriel?" Monica smirked.

"Lily was pointing out the water cooler for me." He said, moving away.

After they got their food, they made their way over to the table to eat. Once I got over my surprise at seeing him, I couldn't help checking him out. He looked like a model from a GQ spread and I couldn't help the surge of pride I felt at the attention he got, knowing he was there for me. He wore a denim button down, the top buttons undone to show off his built chest and fitted dark blue jeans. His hair was pulled back in a man bun with Ray Bans on top of his head. Our eyes clashed a few times, and I gave him an appreciative look, afraid I may have came off like I didn't want him to be here.

He returned my look with a wink and I looked away smiling, trying not to be to obvious. I wanted to ask Uriel why he wasn't fasting, but I decided to wait until Monica wasn't around. She was already watching us intently; I didn't want to tip her off. Thankfully, hosting duties gave me plenty of reasons to leave.

I got up when Corey, Gigi, Peyton and Chris arrived. Noelle finally came too and I relocated to the fire pit to sit with her, Bianca, Britanny, Benjamin, my dad, Cam, Jenna and Beatrice. Have to admit, it was a little awkward for me at first, but we made small talk about the differences between California and Texas.

Uriel, Monica and Trent joined us by the fire pit watching the kids play in the water when they finished eating. Bianca eyes widen when she recognized Uriel. She gave me a small smile before she asked him, "Did Lily ever let you take her out for cake?" 

All eyes went on him as he cleared his throat.

Say no. Say no. Say no. Say no...

"No-" Uriel said.

Thank God.

"She let me take her to dinner last week." He gave me a charming smile.

Fuck.

All eyes went to me now. I neither denied or confirmed. I sipped my Mai tai slowly.

"Lily! Why didn't you tell me?" Bianca grinned, excited.

"Nothing to tell. It was just dinner."

"Fogo de Chao?" Cam asked. Uriel looked at me in surprise before he answered in the affirmative.

I got up when my door bell rang. "Be right back." I said, thankful for the escape. I opened the door and smiled at Richard.

"Have I told you you're my best friend ever?"

"If I was, you'd be wearing the coconut bra and grass skirt you promised." He teased.

"That's my second outfit change." I looped my arm though his and led him to the food.

"Did you do all this?" Richard asked, gesturing to all the food.

"Most of it. Make a plate and lets go sit down." I said.

I grabbed a mint chocolate whoopie pie and a pecan bar before Richard and I sat at the outside table together.  I groaned when I saw my dad and Uriel conversing. Exactly what I didn't want.

"Dad, you remember Richard? He built the bar and the pergola." I cut into his conversation with Uriel, knowing he would ask a million and one questions about the materials and the craftsmanship. Richard glared at me, but I ignored him.

"Yes. Very good work." He said, with barely a passing glance before he continued on with his conversation with Uriel. I couldn't stay away and eventually rejoined them on the sectional. My dad was still talking to Uriel and I learned more about Uriel listening to them talk then I did on our entire first date. His parents moved back to Argentina and sees them maybe 2 times a year, majority of his brothers and sisters lived in Florida where he grew up, he was the first in his family to get a college degree, he plans on retiring with The Dallas Mavericks and he had no opinion either way on kids or marriage. His attitude was if it happened, it happened.

"So this is the number one starter on your line up?" Richard asked me with a smirk as he sat beside me with a beer.

"Shut up Richard."

After another hour, Rocky, Brandon, Baby Ace, Mama Smith, her boyfriend Sebastian, and Ramon arrived at the party. Once I greeted them, Uriel, Monica, and Trent said they needed to get going. I tore myself away from Ace to walk them out.

"I knew it. I knew it. I knew it all along." Monica sang under her breath to me as we walked out the front door.

"Bye Monica. Have a wonderful Memorial Day." I said, as I glared at her. She only laughed as she and Trent left.

"Really?" I said to Uriel once we reached his car.

"Really what?"

"You announce to everyone we're dating?" I started.

"Should I have lied?"

Urgh, good point.

"No... But you didn't have to like- talk to my dad."

"I should have ignored him?" He smiled like I said the most ridiculous thing while placing his hands on my hips.

"Not ignore. Just politely decline his questions."

"I didn't mind his questions. You're dad was cool." Uriel said, bringing me closer to him.

"I don't think anyone has described my dad as cool."  I smiled, somewhat pleased. As much as I didn't want them to meet, I was happy he got along with my dad.

"I enjoyed his company. Is that better?"

"No." I teased.

"I had a good time. A great 2nd date."

"Date? No!"

"Yes. You said a date is spending more than an hour together eating or doing an activity. Technically, this could be two dates."

"Two dates with my dad. Definitely creepy Uriel!" I giggled.

"I'll call you to set up our date this week."

"Do you still have that benefit next weekend?"

"I do."

"Let's make that the third date." I said, placing my arms around his neck. "That way we can go back to your place afterward."

"I knew you were a 3 date girl." He said, leaning in close. I was standing on my tip toes to meet him for a kiss when I heard someone calling my name. I looked over Uriel's shoulder and saw EJ running towards me from Ethan's truck parked on the street. I pulled away when I saw Ethan heading my way too.

Never Ending

*Everyone this is a really rough edit. I didn't want to go another week with out posting. I will edit more over the weekend when I can. Have a great one!


"A drug and a dream

A lost connection, oh come back to me

So I can feel alive again

As soul and body try to mend

It's pulling me apart this time

Everything is never-ending

Slipped into a parallel

They'll never understand

This feeling always gets away

Wishing I could hold on longer

Why does it have to feel so strange

To be in love again, be in love again, be in love again?" Never Ending by Rihanna

Saturday night was the Rihanna concert. I planned for Staci, Amber and Monica to meet at my house to Uber to the concert. I originally invited Jordan as the 4th, but she was planning her engagement party with Blake's parents. I reached out to Sammy next, but she had a gig. Amanda turned me down too: no explanation, just no. Amber suggested Mia, but when Monica was available, I invited her excitedly.

Saturday afternoon, I left to meet Ethan and EJ to see Batman vs. Superman. I spotted EJ first with Jayden and another little boy playing air hockey in the arcade attached to the theater. EJ introduced me to his friend and teammate Alex after I greeted him and Jayden. EJ then pointed at his dad in line purchasing the tickets. I headed Ethan's way, waiting until he completed his transaction to join him.

"Hey. You made it." He said, pulling me in for a hug.

"Yep. I told you I would." I smiled up at him, nervously. I couldn't help being a little... I guess uncomfortable knowing that he still had feelings for me. The strange thing was he acted completely normal. Or maybe he was just better at hiding his feelings...

Urgh, I would drive myself crazy with this.

"You ready for your barbecue?" Ethan asked me, interrupting my stupid thoughts as he pulled away.

"Almost. I have the menu pretty much done except for the freaking health nuts." I sighed.

"Health nuts?" Ethan asked.

"Yeah, Bianca's girlfriend only eats clean food so nothing processed and my dad doesn't eat red meat. Unfortunately, I have to have options for them. Speaking of, can I get the recipe for your marinade?"

"No." Ethan declined.

"No?" I looked at him, stunned.

"No. Sorry. It's a family recipe."

"Really? Your nephew is my godson. That makes us pretty much family." I argued.

"Pretty much doesn't count."

"Dad. We're out of coins!" EJ exclaimed as he ran up, cutting off my rebuttal. His friends followed close behind him.

"Good. We need to buy snacks if you want them." Ethan told him.

As we waited in line, I turned to EJ. "You know what's a good snack EJ? Barbecue. Do you know your dad's marinade recipe?"

EJ's face scrunched up in confusion. "No."

"Really? You should ask him and tell me what it is..." I hinted to him.

"Nah, I like nachos for a snack. Can I get an Icee too dad?" EJ blew me off.

Ethan and I laughed at my failed attempt to extract the recipe from EJ. After he took the boys' order, he turned to me with a smile. "What do you want? They don't have barbecue."

"Popcorn, Rasinets... And an Icee too."

The movie was pretty good. It definitely got me excited for Wonder Woman. The boys made faces and said they couldn't wait for Suicide Squad. Alex commented that Harley Quinn was hotter, which Jayden and then EJ agreed. I hid my horrified look as I handed them 5 dollars each for tokens.

"Oh my god, are they old enough to be noticing girls?" I said, watching them run off to play more games.

"Apparently, although I think EJ couldn't care less. He's just going along with the older boys." Ethan commented.

"Good. I just started feeling like an adult instead of pretending to be one. I don't need EJ making me feel any older."

He nodded at the arcade. "Want to play a game? I know they bring out your childish side."

I chuckled. "No. I need to get going so I can get ready for the Rihanna concert."

"Ok. Have fun."

"I will. Bye Ethan."

I went home and immediately started going through my Fenty collection, trying to figure out what I was going to wear. Monica showed up and I put on a Rihanna playlist before putting my phone away. We went through my Fenty collection together. Since I already wore the black and white maxi dress, I told Monica she could borrow it.

I picked out my Fenty black and white track pants with the matching bomber jacket. I dressed it up with a red lace bralet top and my Fenty sneaker heels. I also wore the bright red straight wig I got in Miami. I did a full face of make-up, including a red lip, and diamond and white gold studs in my ears. I was Rihanna inspired, channeling her fearless, fun attitude and style.

At first, Monica was annoyed with my over the top dancing, singing and incessant picture taking, but after she drank the remaining coconut rum, she joined right in. We were outside waiting for Staci and Amber, dancing against one of my palm trees, when they arrived in a Hummer Limo.

"Fuck a party bus. Issa limo!!!" Amber cried, looking amazing in a Rihanna- Navy inspired blue and white stripped mini dress with a gold anchor chain necklace. She wore a wig too: a jet black bob reminiscence of Rihanna's good girl gone bad phase.

"Y'all are crazy!!!" I exclaimed, excitedly as I hugged them both. "I love it!"

"A limo? Is Rihanna that serious?" Monica raised an eyebrow at us.

"Absolutely!" Staci cheered, looking fierce and ready to party. She matched Amber in a blue pencil skirt with white anchors printed all over it and a white tube top. Her hair was in big, bouncy curls over her shoulders.

As we took pictures, I explained the whole party bus thing Christian did for the Weeknd concert and how Amber and Staci topped him with the Hummer limo.

"I thought they told you that I was a savage. Fuck your white horse and a carriage." They sang as I took their pictures and videos in front of the limo. Monica and I went next, and our driver came out and offered to take group photos of us all. I'm sure she regretted it once we were done with all our poses. Afterwards, we all climbed into the Hummer to head to the concert.

We keep the party going, sipping on vodka water with lemons as we sang and danced to our favorite Rihanna songs. When we got to Airlines Arena, people pouring into the arena keep looking at the limo, probably thinking were we some guest celebrity.

"You guys, what would y'all do if Drake showed up?" I grinned as we walked to the entrance.

"Get pregnant!" Amber and Staci answered at the same time before they started laughing.

"I'm not getting pregnant so condoms would definitely be a part of the plan." I laughed too.

"You're not thinking long term. A baby guarantees not only a monthly check, but at least yearly visits." Staci pointed out as we waited in line at security check.

"Is that what happened with your ex husband?" Amber teased.

"We're not talking bout him; we're talking about fine ass Drake!" Staci brushed her off.

"That man is not that fine" Monica said.

We all looked at her like she was crazy, then each other like what was wrong with her. We started laughing again and Monica shook her head at us.

We followed her inside the arena as she led us to the floor seats. Our tickets gave us access to a VIP bar that we went to first, dancing to the DJ as we waited. After we got our drinks, we found our seats. Travis Scott was the opening act and we all got on our feet, minus Monica and rapped and danced along to his set. When Rihanna came on stage, everyone, including Monica, got on their feet to dance, cheer, scream and sing. Rihanna put on a great show- at one point she was right above us on a glass platform. I loved every second of it. Everything was twice as fun as Monica, Amber, Staci and I hyped each other up, only stopping to film our favorite songs or take pictures and videos together.

After the show, we went to the merchandise table so I could get a concert t-shirt for my collection. While we waited in the crowded line, we gushed over the show. Rihanna's clothes, boots, make-up, hair, dancing and vocals were all on point. We were so amped, none of us were ready to go home. Monica stepped out of the line to make a phone call to see if we could secure a table at a nearby club.

"Her husband works PR for the Dallas Mavericks. They have a lot of great connections." I told Amber and Staci excitedly. They were even more pumped at the prospect of going to a new spot and continuing the fun.

I picked out 2 shirts: 1 with just a picture of Rihanna and the tour dates and a second with a picture that said "Thought I Told You That I Was A Savage".

As I was checking out, I saw another plain white t-shirt that read "I Got The Sauce".

"I'm so getting this for Ethan!" I held up the T-shirt with a broad smile.

"Ethan?" Amber asked, confused.

"Yep... He's got the sauce." Staci said licking her lips lecherously. We both turned to stare at her: Amber was a look of disgust, mine was a look of outrage.

"You're dating his co-worker... No, it's his insubordinate! That's even worse!" I shrieked.

"So? I could date his mom and still appreciate his sauce! He's sexy. Kinda reminds me of Drake!" She defended herself.

"No he doesn't!" Amber declared.

"Yes he does. If he grew a full beard, they could be brothers... Or cousins. Same grandparents for sure." Staci argued, passionately.

Amber waved her hand dismissively at Staci while I just stared, astounded.

"Why are you getting a T-shirt for Ethan?" Amber questioned me.

"A bribe. He won't share his family marinade with me. He said me being the godmother of his nephew doesn't count as family. I'm trying to get the recipe. Not appreciate his sauce." I shoot Staci another glare.

She crossed her arms, with an unapologetic smile on her lips. "You know I got the sauce. You know I'm saucy. And it's always wet, a bitch never ever ever use lip gloss on it. Imma need you deeper than 6, not a coffin." She sang, doing a little shimmy.

"Shut up!" Amber and I both yelled at her as she laughed.

"What I miss?" Monica asked as she rejoined us.

"Nothing!" I exclaimed.

Monica told us she secured a table at a club nearby. When we got there, there was a huge line out front of people waiting to get in. This Is What You Came For mix featuring Rihanna thumped from the building so we took it as a sign we were at the right place. I was totally willing to stand in line, but Monica made her way to the front of the line, gave her name to the bouncer, and we were immediately let in.

"Look at Mon-Mon! Boss bitch status!" I giggled as we were escorted to a table.

"Don't start Lilac." She warned me with a look.

"Lilac?" Amber asked, loudly over the music.

"That's the moniker Uriel gave her. When they make it official, everyone will call her that." Monica explained.

"Are you trying to be official with him?" Staci asked me.

When I saw Monica looking at me expectantly, I smiled, coolly. "I don't even know him like that..."

We had a great time at the club, drinking too much, dancing wildly and turning down guys that tried to talk to us. Monica and Amber flashed their wedding rings and Staci and I straight up told them we were not interested.

"Lesbians..." One guy snorted to his buddy as we headed back to our table from dancing, declining their offer for drinks at the bar. We had bottle service at our table.

"Not even a little bit!" I snapped back at him.

"... And even if we were, we still wouldn't be interested in you bitches!" Staci yelled as we laughed and hurried off. At last call, we made our way out to the Hummer limo.

Since we were closest to Monica's place, we dropped her off first. Trent came out and we catcalled and whistled at him as he adorably gave Monica a piggyback ride inside their house. Since Staci had to work the next morning, she was dropped off next. I was closer to Staci and gave Amber a hug before I was dropped off at home. I stripped out of my clothes and wig and as soon as Amber texted me that she made it home, I crashed in bed.

I woke up Sunday, hungover, dehydrated, and exhausted. I was struggling to get out of bed. I needed to get my final to-do list done for not only my barbecue but for my dad, brother, Jenna and Beatrice spending the weekend at my house. The thought of not having enough hand soap or paper towels forced me up.

I let Justine outside as I took a shower. When that wasn't enough to get me going, I threw on some clothes to take Justine to a restaurant that had a dog friendly patio for brunch. I figured food might motivate me to get moving. Before I left, I sent a text to Monica, letting her know I would be out for the day but she could get her car anytime.

At the restaurant, I sat out on the patio and ordered water for Justine and an espresso for myself. After I ordered food, I started to put together my menu and grocery list for the party. I text Sammy, asking for the location of the beer and wine store that had a selection of international beers. When she text me back she would go with me, I told her I was at brunch with Justine. When she asked if she could join me, I agreed right away. I waved down my waitress and asked if she could hold my food while I waited for Sammy.

I completed my list of food, supplies and decorations and was still waiting for Sammy. I grabbed my phone to text to see if she was still coming. She text me back she was 10 minutes away. While I had my phone out, I went through all my notifications on my social media. I had a lot of likes and comments from the videos and pictures I posted from the concert.

I immediately noticed Trevor commented and liked a bunch of my pictures and videos. Not only did he commented "Hey Raggedy Ann..." on my new profile pic of me posing outside the Hummer limo, but he went back and loved an old photo of me on my birthday.

He obviously wanted me to know he was checking out my timeline. I wouldn't allow myself to go down that slippery slope of looking at his past posts, but it was tempting. I was debating commenting back on my profile picture when I heard someone call my name. I looked up to see Sammy and Amanda.

"Hey you two!" I said, standing up.

"Sorry. It took me forever to get this one up!" Sammy nudged Amanda playfully.

"I was up late editing your video." Amanda protested.

"I know. That's why I'm treating." Sammy smiled as she sat.

"You look great Amanda! I love your hair like that." Her hair was down, looking recently styled in glossy layers down her back. Her make-up was light but brought out her natural beauty. She was wearing a cute blouse with ripped denim Bermuda shorts.

"Thank you." She smiled, shyly.

After they ordered, we talked and caught up. I was pleasantly surprised that they were not only still filming videos together but were hanging out regularly. Sammy encouraged her makeover and new wardrobe. Amanda was still introverted, but she opened up a lot and no longer got flustered with Sammy's crassness. Amanda also offered to take over desserts for the barbecue and she sincerely sounded excited to come.

We went to the beer store together and I bought Japanese beer. Sammy hired a girl to bartender and make two tropical drinks for me in exchange for filming a video making them in my backyard. After I said goodbye to Sammy and Amanda, I dropped Justine off at home before I went to the store to pick up the food, drinks, decorations and supplies I needed. On my way home, I stopped by Ethan's house to drop off his t-shirt.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Ethan asked as he held his door open for me.

"I got you something from the concert." I said, excitedly as I walked in.

"Really? Why?"

"Why?" I said, pretending to be offended. "Can't I just get you a gift?"

"Of course. My apologizes." He smirked.

"You're forgiven." I said, before I pulled out his t-shirt. "Now if this gift moves you to reciprocate, I'm open to anything you might want to share with me." I hinted, holding up the shirt.

"You know I got the sauce." He read it out loud, taking the shirt from me. "Thank you. I will not reciprocate with my family's recipe, but I appreciate this."

"C'mon Ethan! I'm sure your mom won't mind if you shared it with me."

"Probably not, but it's my dad's recipe." He corrected me.

"Even better... He told me he wanted me as a daughter in law once!" I blurted out before I thought about what I was saying.

"He did?" Ethan asked me, curiously. I blushed, trying to think of something to say to play off that statement, but I was tongue tied. Ethan scanned my face for an agonizing moment before he replied. "You should have asked him for it then."  He said, lightheartedly.

"I bought McCormick seasonings so I don't need it." I boasted, finding my words with his response.

"I never heard of a grill master using packaged seasonings, but good luck with that Lily. " He said with a smile.

I momentary got caught up in his smile and how sexy his face looked with a little stubble and tried to picture him with a full beard before I caught myself. "Whatever. Bye Ethan!" I said, quickly, turning around to flee. I tripped on the welcome mat on the way out.

"You ok Lily?"

"I'm good. See you later!" I said, not stopping, turning to wave, hoping he didn't see my face flushed with embarrassment.

My embarrassment at the way I acted around Ethan gradually faded away as I put all my groceries and supplies away. I spent the remaining Sunday tidying up and then picking out my outfit for my date with Uriel. He was outside of my circle, we were on the same page of just getting to know each other and we didn't have a messy past; I was looking forward to our first date. I knew we were going to dinner, so I kept it causal with slimming black pants and a see through black blouse with a black cami underneath.  It was easily dressed up with nude heels and my lily earrings and bracelet.

The morning of our date, Uriel sent me the address to meet him at 8pm. I was excited to see it was Fago de Chao in Dallas, not far from our jobs. I've been to their happy hour a couple times, but never had the churrasco experience. Because it was close to my job, I brought my change of clothes and make-up to get ready after I got off work. I took a shower in the locker room, did my make-up with a peachy nude lip, and styled my hair with a dry shampoo before putting it up in a neat top knot.

On the drive to the restaurant, I was surprisingly calm. I didn't feel nervous or anxious at all. I made it to the restaurant 15 minutes early. After I checked my hair and make-up, I headed inside. Uriel wasn't there yet, so I asked for and was led to a table for two. While I waited, I pulled out my phone. Refusing to look at my new notifications, I checked out my friends' new posts.

Some woman I didn't know tagged Amber in a picture at some art class. I giggled at Amber's weak painting and commented "What is that supposed to be? 😱"

I scrolled through Amber's pictures, stopping when I saw a picture with her, Will, Ethan and the woman that posted the pictures together. At first, I thought the woman that tagged Amber was an instructor, but the way they were taking pictures together made me feel like it was a lame double date. I quickly clicked on the girl's page.

Her online profile was her business page so there wasn't a ton of personal information. She was the owner of an art studio so there were lots of pictures of artwork and classes they taught. The few pictures she tagged herself in showed she was probably the same age as me with flattering dark plum hair, big doe brown eyes, super white teeth and an easy going smile. Very beautiful...

I put my phone away so I couldn't sit around speculating if this was the woman Ethan was dating. Maybe that's why he was completely normal around me- he felt passion with this new chick. Thankfully, Uriel arrived right on time so I could focus on him instead. He looked amazing in black denim, black undershirt and a black blazer with his hair neatly tucked behind his ears.

"Hey. I see you got the memo on all black tonight." I smiled, standing up to give him a hug.

"Great minds think alike." He stated simply before we took our seats across each other. He looked me over, his gaze pausing on my cleavage before he met my eyes again. "You look incredible."

"Thank you. So do you." I smiled at him.

We studied the menu for a moment before he asked me, "Have you been here before?"

"I only ate at the bar a few times. Have you tried their happy hour?"

"No. I do intermittent fasting during the week so I don't do happy hours." He told me.

Our waiter came over and he ordered water so I stuck with water too. When the waiter left, I asked, "How does intermittent fasting work?"

"I basically don't eat when the sun is out." He explained briefly.

"Ok. Is there a reason why?" I asked, intrigued.

"I found it helps my metabolism. Keeps me energized without being sluggish."

"You don't get hungry or burnt out during the day?"

"Not really. I consume all the calories I need for the day in the morning and drink plenty of water and tea to keep me going."

"I couldn't do it. When I have to work through lunch, I go home and eat everything in sight."

"It's not for everyone, but it works for me."

Instead of doing the churrasco dinner with me, Uriel ordered sea bass al la carte. I decided to wait until Uriel got his dish before getting my food so we could eat together.

"So tell me about yourself. Any brothers or sisters?" I asked as we waited.

"I have 2 younger sisters and 3 younger brothers." He replied.

"Wow. So your parents had 6 kids total? It must have been fun growing up in a big family." I smiled.

He grimaced. "Suffocating is more like it. I had to take care of all of my siblings when my parents were at work. My mom and dad had at least 4 jobs between them at all times so that was all the time."

"My brother had to look out for me when my dad worked but he got older sibling perks like a bigger allowance and first access to the car." I responded.

"I didn't get allowance and the first car I drove was the first car I bought."

"The Mercedes?" I teased, playfully.

"No. A 1999 Toyota Corolla. Cash car. Spent more on repairs than what it was worth. It lasted 3 years."

Our waiter brought out pão de queijo, a warm cheese bread and I dug in. As I tried one, he asked about my mom and I told him I was adopted. I gave him a brief rundown of my family before biting into my roll again.

"These are so good. You need to try one." I told him, motioning for him to try one. "They're super addictive. I think they sprinkle crack on them."

He took one and tried a bite. After he swallowed he said, "Pretty sure it's just cheese."

Of course I knew it was Parmesan cheese. Before I could clarify,  he asked, "What made you get into physical therapy?"

"I wanted to be an athletic trainer growing up."

"For a professional team?" When I nodded, he followed up with, "What sport?"

"Baseball at first because my dad played professional but I was a football trainer my freshman year of high school and fell in love with football. When my grades started slipping, my dad pulled me out of athletic training." I started.

My dad didn't know at the time it wasn't the extra curriculum of athletic training that made my grades slip, but Mr. Perez's grooming and assault.

"My dad thought I should be a doctor instead and focus on my grades. I was on that route but my first 2 years at Baylor pre-med was too much. The thought of med school freaked me out so I looked into graduate programs instead and found physical therapy." I finished.

"I would have never guessed that about you. You seem like you do well under pressure."

"I do now, but back then I put a lot of pressure on myself. I couldn't handle the stress anymore. Growing up with my dad was stressful enough: I didn't want college and my career to be stressful too."

"What was stressful about your upbringing? Besides your meager allowance and having to ask permission to drive the car?" He asked, with a little smile.

I returned his smile, challengingly. "So you're assuming because my dad had money I couldn't have had any stress? Did money make all your problems go away?"

"No. Not at all." He conceded. "But it afforded me the opportunity to be sitting across from you tonight. That counts for something."

"Not much. And for your information, I didn't agree to go out with you because of money... It was definitely your looks." I said, sarcastically.

He just grinned. "Fair enough."

His sea bass came out so I made my to the feijoada and market table. I filled my plate with salads, rice and bean stew, cheeses and vegetable before heading back to the table, flipping the card for meat. I got lamb and Medalhões Com Bacon.

We ate and chatted about our favorite hobbies. I told him I was a food and music lover and loved dancing and boxing to stay in shape. He confessed he was a thrill seeking adderline junkie. He shared with me his experiences in high stake poker games and his various trips cliff and sky diving with college friends.

"Losing money and the fear of dying is not my idea of a good time." I joked between bites.

"Did I say I lose money? And there's no fear of dying if it's done safely"

"The house always win when you gamble and the fact that safety is involved doesn't sound enjoyable at all. Just saying." I concluded.

"You don't have to be safe about what you eat?" He raised a brow at me.

"Nope... And if this is commentary about my weight, you should really change the subject..." I threatened him, playing with my steak knife.

"You know how I feel about your body." He said, seductively, warming my insides. "That was commentary on eating from a buffet."

"Worth the risk." I said, taking another bite of the delicious feijoada I got from the buffet. "So much more pleasurable than jumping from high altitudes."

He chuckled. "I don't get any pleasure from eating. Food is only fuel to me." He said as he bit into his sea bass.

"Maybe because you order fish at a Brazilian steakhouse. Try this and tell me you don't feel any pleasure." I said, cutting a piece of the tender steak wrapped in a crispy strip of maple flavor bacon. I tried to feed it to him, but he turned his face away.

"I don't eat pork." He said.

I quickly pulled my fork away. "I'm so sorry. Is it a religious thing?"

"No. It's a safety thing. My dad had his first heart attack at 42 and it's hereditary. I try to watch how I eat."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that." I nodded, understandably. "That explains the quinoa and the wheatgrass juice and the fasting and the no pleasure from food."

"It was kale, not wheatgrass." He smiled at me.

"Close enough." I shrugged.

I focused back on my food. We ate in silence and I didn't get any more food. I hated being that girl who wouldn't eat in front of the guy she was dating, but Uriel's attitude on food definitely made me hold back. The waiter came back to clear our plates and take our dessert orders, but I declined.

"I thought you wanted to try the chocolate mousse cake."

My mouth watered at the thought of alternating layers of white and dark chocolate mousse and chocolate cake. "No. It's ok. I'm full." I lied.

He ordered it anyway with coffee. "Try it. You don't have to eat it all."

When it came out, I was so glad he didn't listen to me. It looked amazing. I didn't try to feed him again, but I offered him the second spoon. "How do you feel about chocolate?"

"Indifferent." He shrugged, but took the spoon from me and got a small bite.

I followed suit, moaning as the flavors settled on my tongue.

"I stand corrected. Watching you eat is a pleasurable experience." He commented, suggestively.

On my next bite, I made sure to make eye contact with him. I sucked my spoon clean, savoring the flavor as I licked the remaining chocolate off my lips. When I moaned again, a grin spread on his face as he watched me, taking another small bite himself. He only ate a few bites and I finished half of it before I really was too full.

On our way out the restaurant, his arm snaked around my waist as he walked me to my car. I wasn't sure how compatible we were, but the physical attraction was still there, pulsing between us. I decided earlier in the night, no matter how well the date went, I wasn't going home with him. Once we reached my car, he leaned in close to brush his lips against my ear.

"You coming to my place?" He asked me.

I shook my head no.

"Can I come to your place?" He asked, nuzzling my neck. I shivered, but still shook my head no, turning to look him in the eyes.

"You said we had to get to know each other outside of the bedroom. I agree."

"I didn't say we couldn't get to know each other better in the bedroom too." Uriel argued, pulling me back close to him.

"It's the first date Uriel. I'm not that kinda girl."

"Are you a third date kinda girl? Because I'm free all weekend. Let's knock three dates out." He bargained, his hands slipping around my waist, than lower to settle on my hips.

"I'm busy all weekend. Sorry."

"Let's plan something next week then. I have a benefit that weekend. I would love for you to accompany me; especially if it will be date three."

"I would love to... but I never said I was a date three girl. I might be a date 10 girl." I grinned at him, placing my arms around his neck.

"Ok. I'll meet you for coffee everyday for the next couple of weeks." He said, leaning his face towards mine.

"Coffee is not a date."

"You never had a coffee date?"

"Never. I've had coffee meetings. A date is spending at least an hour together. Over a meal or activity." I breathed.

"Are you always this particular?" Uriel asked, against my lips.

"No...but my past relationships didn't work. Maybe because I wasn't." I answered, stepping up on my tippy toes to kiss him on the cheek before I moved out of his embrace.

"Good night Uriel. Thank you for dinner."

"Goodnight Lily. I'll talk to you soon."

He watched me as I got in my car. I gave him a wave and a smile before I drove home.