"Hey, we got a good thing.
Don't know if I'mma see you again.
But is that a good thing?
'Cause girl I can't be your man.
no, ma'am.
I know what's on your brain.
You probably hope it never would end.
Like is it the real thing
or is just a one-night stand?
Well, then...
Straight up. Now tell me do you really wanna love me forever—
Oh, oh, oh—
Or is it just a hit-and-run?
Well, hey.
Straight up. I tell you I just really wanna cut when we're together.
Oh, oh, oh.
Come here, girl, let's get it on.
Work out for me, work out for me." Work Out by J. Cole
Unlike the last time, Uriel and I wasted no time with talking as soon as we entered his apartment. He had a condom on him, so we didn't even make it into his bedroom. He took me right against the wall in his hallway, my legs wrapped around his waist as he thrust into me.
When we finished, he let me down on wobbly legs and went to the bathroom. I took a few moments to catch my breath before I found my purse, pulled out my phone and called an Uber. I know what I said about staying however long he wanted in the heat of the moment, but now the moment was over. I was straightening up my dress when Uriel returned from the bathroom in just black joggers. I couldn't help my appreciative stare of his upper body.
"You planning your great escape?" He walked into the darken kitchen to get himself a glass of water.
"No but I do need to get going." I said, following him into the kitchen.
"Ok, as long as you know you don't have to sneak out." He said as he drained his water.
I shook my head and replied, "I didn't sneak out; I just left. Isn't that how one night stands work?"
"Two night stand now." He corrected me. "It works however you want it to work."
"This is just sex so it works best if I leave." I explained honestly.
He studied me for a moment before he nodded. "Works for me."
My phone beeped signaling my Uber had arrived. "Alright, I'm going to head out."
"Wait." He stopped me, walking out of the kitchen and to a hallway closet. He pulled out the purple hat I left the last time. He placed the hat on my head, stroking my hair and neck before pulling his hand away.
"You still have my number?"
I nodded.
"Call me if you're up for a third or fourth night stand."
I grinned. "Sure. I'll see you Uriel."
"Hopefully soon Lily." He called to me as I left.
When I got home I took a quick shower before I hopped into bed with Justine and passed out. My phone ringing woke me up late Sunday morning. I answered it when I saw it was Richard.
"I have donuts. Are you up?" He asked.
"I'm up. Come on over." I said simply.
I really wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but I wanted answers about his disappearing act more. Yeah, I ended up going home with Uriel, but it still made me wonder what was going on with Richard. Before I confronted Jake or Bianca about what they knew, I was going to give Richard a chance to explain himself to me.
As I waited for Richard, I read through the texts I got from Amber and Staci. Amber got on to me for leaving early and Staci wanted to know if I really left with Richard. I replied to Amber telling her they abandoned me first and deflected Staci's question by asking if she left with her Tinder guy.
After I replied to my texts and missed calls, I checked my social media accounts. I cringed at some of the videos of me dirty dancing with Richard on his Snap story and liked most of the pictures I was tagged in on Instagram. Dr. Chapman commented on the picture I posted with Justine wearing a green four leaf clover headband.
Tyler: How did you get her to wear that and pose for a picture?
Me: It took about 30 minutes and 50 shots to get that one good picture!
Dr. Chapman messaged me right away.
Tyler: Definitely worth the effort! What are you doing on actual St. Patrick's Day?
Me: Working lol
Tyler: What time do you get off?
Before I could respond, the door bell rang. I put my phone down to answer it. Richard was waiting for me, coffee and donuts in hand. We went inside and got settled on the couch.
"I didn't know which donut said sorry the best, so I got one of everything." He started, opening up an assortment of Dunkin Donuts.
"Anything with chocolate but you don't have to apologize. What happened last night though? I thought we were going to hook up before you bailed." I said, reaching for a chocolate with sprinkles.
"Us hooking up is not a good idea."
"Jake told me the same thing. I wanna know why." I commented, munching on my donut.
His eyes widen. "Jake told you that? When?"
"Last night, and Bianca said the same thing when she was in town. Why would they say that?" I asked, looking him straight in the eye.
He shrugged, avoiding eye contact. "I don't know."
"I can always ask Jake or Bianca. I rather hear it from you. I thought we were friends-"
"We are friends." He cut in.
"The way friendships work is being honest with each other. It's pretty fucked up you won't be straight with me." We sat there, at an impasse. When I finished my donut, I was ready to throw in the towel until Richard place his head in his hands in defeated.
"I was in a relationship..." He paused, moving his hands away to look up at me. "I recently broke up with him." He finished, studying me. I knew he was gauging my reaction so I remained calm. On the inside, I was flabbergasted.
"You're gay?" I asked, evenly.
"I'm attracted to both men and women." He confessed. "My last relationship was with a man."
"And you felt like you had to hide that from me?" I questioned, stunned. I tried to think back to anything I might have said to make him feel uncomfortable with telling me the truth. I couldn't think of anything.
"No. I was in a relationship with a closeted man for 6 years. I couldn't talk about my relationship without outing him." He explained. After he did, it all came together and started to make sense.
"Dominick... That's why he's moving out. You two broke up?" It was more of a statement than a question. When he nodded, I took a sharp breath. "I still don't want to out him; I'm trusting you to keep this between us." He continued.
"Of course." I promised him.
We sat in silence for a few moments before I picked up a blueberry donut to eat.
He raised a brow at me.
"What? Did you want blueberry?" I asked reaching out to give it to him.
He declined. "That's it? You don't have any other questions for me?"
I shook my head. "I'm kinda curious to how Bianca and Jake know."
Richard explained how for some reason Dominick told Bianca he was gay, but he had no idea how Jake knew. I told him Jake was really good at reading people. Whether it was his years in security or a third eye, he always picked up on things that others missed or tried to hide.
"Do you want me to talk to him? Makes sure he keeps it to himself." I asked.
"Obviously he hasn't told Dino what he suspects so Dominick's secret is safe with him. Dominick is- was- the only reason I wasn't open about it. There's never been a closet for me. Everyone important to me already knows." He explained.
I got up and embraced him in a hug. When he hugged me back, I sighed. "I'm glad you consider me important in your life." I said, pulling away. "But I gotta know: What would have happened if I liked, jumped you last night?"
"I would have reminded you about your boyfriend." He gave me a half smile.
"I don't have a boyfriend. I'm dating. I can date multiple people. That wouldn't have stopped me." I pointed out.
"I've resisted you before: Remember your red boots and would you rather game?"
"Shut up. And they were ginger boots!" I pushed him away, laughing. He laughed too.
We hung out for awhile longer before he had to leave. After he left, I immediately called Bianca. I told her that I knew about Richard and Dominick.
"Did Dominick finally come out?" Bianca gasped.
"No. Richard told me after I tried to go home with him." I fudged the truth a little.
"What? I told you not to date him! And what happened with Christian?"
"I wasn't going to date him... Just fuck him a little bit. And you're the one that told me to date around!"
"Wow... So you took my advice about dating around but not about leaving Richard alone?"
"Shut up Bianca. That's not the point."
"You're right...How do you fuck someone a little bit? Is it just the tip in?"
"How did you know about Dominick and Richard?" I ignored her.
"Remember when I came from Paris and I was freaked out about me and Noelle?"
"I remember you being weird but not telling me anything."
"At that bar I got drunk and I told Dominick what happened. We talked and he knew exactly how I felt. I thought it was just the alcohol but after I spent the night on his couch at the apartment that he shared with Richard, I put two and two together."
"Ok... I kinda did the same thing when Richard told me he broke up with his boyfriend."
"They'll work it out. They have spats all the time."
"I think this spat was the last one. Dominick moved out."
Bianca sighed. "I warned him Richard wasn't going to put up with being his secret indefinitely. He's terrified his family won't accept him. My situation with my mom didn't help. "
"Did you told him how dysfunctional our family is?"
"I tried but he wasn't hearing me. Let me give him a call. We haven't been in touch as much lately. I wanna make sure he's ok."
"Alright B. Call me back!"
While I waited for her call back, I called Amber to see if she wanted to go shopping for Miami together. She told me she and Staci started shopping weeks ago and were already packed.
"Really? Y'all left me out even though I invited you?" I complained.
"Considering Christian buys you designer fits all the time, we figured he got you." Amber explained.
"That's alright... I got y'all." I threatened.
Amber laughed before we said goodbye. After I started washing a load of clothes, I got online and started browsing clothes for Miami.
When Bianca finally called me back, she told me Dominick didn't answer. I asked her advice about outfits I should take to Miami. She told me she would send me some options that would be good for day, night and in between. I gladly accepted her help, gratefully I would have options besides what I would pick out on my own.
When I got to work Monday, Adil and Dr. Clayton was working with Paul Bolen and an older gentleman I assumed was Dennison. I grit my teeth, but made my way over to greet them. I didn't want to, but I definitely wanted to appear to be bigger than the situation.
"Good afternoon. Dr. Fahri, Dr. Clayton. Paul, how are you?" I greeted them, waiting for an introduction to Dennison.
"Clyde, this is Lily Harris. The closing team lead." Dr. Clayton introduced us.
"Pleasure to meet you." He said in a loud, bolsters voice. "Now I see why you wanted the evening shift Paul." He laughed. Dr. Clayton had the decency to look embarrassed while Adil became occupied on his tablet.
"Just trying to get back on the court Clyde." Paul replied with an apologetic smile to me.
"And we'll get you there. In no time." Clyde responded, looking at me for a reaction. Knowing myself, I already schooled myself to remain unbothered.
"That's right. Go Mavs!" I said with a tight smile. "Excuse me, I need to get ready for my shift."
I went to the team lead office to check my email and go over the schedule when Adil joined me.
"Thank you for your team effort. I really appreciate you supporting the change in rehabilitation." Adil stated.
"Let me ask you something." I ignored his praise. "The change in rehabilitation: was that the best thing for the client or another reason?" I asked.
"I don't understand what you mean?"
"I mean, when you made your decision to accelerate his plan was it based off the best thing for our client or the easiest way out?" I clarified.
"You have no right to question my decision." He said, his ears turning red. "You can either get on board with my decision or find a new position off my team." He said firmly.
His veiled threat at me pissed me off even more, but I nodded my understanding before he left. I seethed the rest of the day. I talked to Christian that night and vented about how frustrated I was with the entire situation at work.
"You still sure about not coming to South by Southwest this weekend? I can help you get our mind off work." Christian said, suggestively.
"Yeah I'm sure." I sighed, unable to not think about who else would be in Austin. I changed the subject by asking what we were doing in Miami so I could pack properly. He told me it was the festival and a pool party that I would need a special outfit for but we could pick something out in Miami. I told him quickly that I had it covered.
He asked about who was all coming, and I told him it was still just Staci and Amber. He once again reminded me I still had time to invite whoever I wanted and brought up the friends I hung out with for St. Patrick's day. I told him I did and the people I hung out with were mostly Amber's friend. When he asked about Richard, I seriously considered asking him to come. I knew after my breakup, getting away from the space I shared with Trevor helped me tremendously. I advised Christian I might ask him.
Wednesday morning, I woke up with a notification on my phone from Youtube. It was a new video on the Honey Bees page. It was a festive St. Patrick's drink filmed at a location I didn't recognize. I pushed back the little sting of rejection I felt that Sammy did that without even telling me and liked the video before I got ready for work.
Right before I got ready to leave for work, I received a delivery from UPS. I opened the big box, and was pleasantly surprised by the contents in the box. On top of the matching designer separates, jumpers, dresses, sunglasses and accessories, there were 6 different swimsuits from Noelle's line. I grabbed my phone as I tore through the box.
"Ohmygod Ohmygod ohmygod!!!" I exclaimed after Bianca answered.
"I'm guessing you got the package." I heard the smile in her voice
"Yes! Thank you so much!" I squealed.
"Thank Noelle. I just picked them out, she got them for you."
"Thank her for me!" I said, pulling on a pair of designer shades and gold scarf.
"Thank her yourself. She's right here and you're on speaker."
"Oh..." I stammered, lost for words. "Thank you Noelle."
"You don't have to thank me. Designers send me their products all the time. You'll look fantastic in all of them." Noelle spoke up.
"Still, I was dreading having to shop, pack and dress for Miami now I can't wait! I might wear some of these this week."
Noelle and Bianca both laughed at me.
"Think nothing of it. Just make sure you save the swimsuits for Miami. Maybe pair the white monokini with the floral robe and silver accessories for the festival. Hair up, a stiletto heel..."
"Babe, she just needed clothes, not a stylist." Bianca cut her off.
"I'll take both B. Thank you Noelle. I really appreciate it!"
"Anytime."
When I got home that night, the first thing I tried on was the outfit Noelle suggested. The robe transformed the skimpy one piece into an elegant outfit that had me thinking maybe it was too much. I took a picture of myself and sent it to Christian with the question: What do you think?
Not even 5 minutes later, Christian video called me.
"God damn, you look incredible" He complimented me, staring at my boobs. "Please tell me that's for my show."
"I don't know. Noelle suggested this for the festival but she also sent me a cute two piece I was thinking instead-"
His face twisted up in disdain. "Hold up. Did you say Noelle sent you that? As in, my ex Noelle?"
"Your ex who is dating my cousin." I added. "I asked Bianca for help and they both sent me some clothes-"
"I told you I could get some options for you. Why would you accept clothes from my ex?" He stopped me.
"Again, she's dating my cousin. Noelle is a stylist and she used to date you. She knows how to dress for things and I don't. It's not like she went out shopping for me. The swimsuits are from her line and she gets clothing sent to her all the time." I corrected him.
"That's a lie. She get sample sizes only. Size 0." Christian disagreed.
"Oh, and there is no way I could be a size 0?" I challenged him. I really wasn't upset, but if this dumb argument continued, I would be.
It worked as he quickly calmed down. "No bae. Everything about is you is a 10: your face is a 10, body is a 10, hair's a 10, personality's 10."
"Good answer." I smiled weakly.
"I just don't understand how you get an attitude when I buy you gifts but she's trying to buy your approval and that's fine." Christian argued.
"The one time I got an attitude is because I was confused about what it meant and I explained that to you." I started, keeping myself calm instead of getting upset that he was bringing up past events I thought we worked through. "As far as Noelle goes, as long as she treats Bianca right she has my approval. As long as she's in Bianca's life, she's in mine too. I get if that's hard for you, considering what y'all went through, but that's something you need to consider if you wanna be a part of my life."
"I've considered and made my peace with it." He said, solemnly.
"Ok... if it truly bothers you, I won't wear her stuff."
"No. You're right. I'm wrong. Wear whatever you want Lily." He said, sincerely.
"Ok."
On Thursday, Staci called me inviting me to a beer garden for St. Patrick's day. She sounded like she needed the company so I figured I would have a drink with her. She asked if I could pick her up on the way and I agreed.
I didn't bother to go home to change after work- I put on the joggers and t-shirt I had in my gym bag. When I picked Staci up, she gave my outfit the side eye, but didn't say anything as we headed to the restaurant. I gave Staci a major side eye when we arrived and I saw Ethan and Daniel with a group of people at a table Staci was leading us to. Daniel was standing, waving us over.
"What?" Staci said.
"I knew something was up when you had on that freak em dress. Are y'all dating or what?" I asked.
"No. He's not the dating type."
"I thought you wanted a relationship?"
"I do. Daniel is just fun while I'm actively looking for someone to settle down with." She explained as we approached the table.
"Hi!" She smiled giving Daniel a hug.
"Hey ladies." Daniel beamed at the both of us. "Where's your green Lily? I get the first pinch?" He asked me as he leaned to hug me too.
"Try it and you'll get the first punch." I smiled sweetly at him. Ethan shook his head as he pulled out a chair for me. I gave him a genuine smile before I gave him a one arm hug. "Hi Ethan."
"Hey, how are you doing?" He asked me, hugging me back.
"Considering work sucks, I'm doing peachy!" I said, sitting down.
Ethan sat down beside me and handed me a menu. "What can we order to make you feel better?"
I looked over the menu briefly before saying, "Beer and onion rings is a start."
As he flagged down the waiter, Daniel introduced us to everyone at the table. Once food was ordered and our drinks were served, we eventually got to the topic of my job.
"Remember how I told you about the athletic trainer who was being... What did you call him? Obstinate?" I explained to Ethan.
"Yes. You said he was being a dick."
"Ohmygosh, I didn't even know you used that type of language. How much have you had to drink?" I looked into his eyes, looking for signs of intoxication. I've never seen him drunk before.
"Key words: you said. I'm repeating what you said about him. I'm on my first and last drink. Continue."
"Right. Well, anyway, he went over my boss's head..." In between sips of my beer, I told Ethan what happened.
"You didn't ask him that." Ethan shook his head after I told him about my conversation with Adi.
"I did. I totally did. We both know the only reason he changed the plan was to pacify Dennison. It's bullshit. I have bigger balls then him. Really, all three of them. Combined!" I declared.
"Maybe you do, but it's not about who has the bigger balls. It's about playing the game."
"Oh, it's about balls. They just love pointing out how young and... female I am. You don't get it- they try to make me feel inferior to them." I complained.
"You know how many times I've heard affirmative action every time I succeeded?"
He questioned me.
I thought it over as the waitress delivered our food. I nibbled on a onion ring before I asked him, "Ok. How would you have handled it?"
"I would have asked your boss, preferable in writing, what factors he used in deciding one way versus the other-"
"That's what I did!"
"I can tell by the way you just told me you were confrontational about it. I would have buttered him up a bit-"
"Kiss ass." I interrupted. He continued like he didn't hear me.
"-told him I could have saw it either way and what led him to make the right choice. He would have either told me the truth or made something up. Then, once the opportunity presented for him to contradict himself, I'd nail him with it."
"Wait, what?" I said, my eyes widen, intrigued.
"That's what happens when people stop doing what's right and take the easy way out: it always catches up with them. Work it to your advantage, and best them at their own game." Ethan finished.
"Wow. I'm too impulsive to think that far ahead. That's fucking brilliant." I gushed, admiringly.
He nodded, taking a sip of his beer. Some girl who worked with Anthony asked Ethan a question, so I turned to Staci. Daniel had his arm around her as they talked animatedly to each other. Not wanting to be a third wheel on their conversation, I told them, "I think I'm going to head out. Can you make sure Staci gets home Daniel?" I asked, pulling out my wallet from my purse.
"Absolutely! Put your money away. I got it. Good seeing you." Daniel smiled at me.
"Good seeing you too! Goodnight." I told everyone. Ethan paused his conversation to walk me to my car. I gave him a hug goodbye.
"I'm still waiting on Aladdin night with EJ. You think he'll wanna come over this weekend?" I asked, pulling back.
"It's Megan's weekend with him, but I'll ask." He said opening my door.
"Thank you. Good night." I said, getting in my car.
"Goodnight."
Friday morning, I had my appointment with Dr. Pereira. I spoke briefly about my situation at work but she agreed with my plan of being proactive instead of reactive when situations arise at work. We spent a bulk of my hour discussing the causal relationship I started with Uriel.
I confessed my doubts of being able to keep things causal with sex involved and my concerns about what this said about Christian and my relationship. She stressed the importance of honesty and expectations with myself and everyone I was involved with. She told me as long as I maintained honesty and clear expectations, there was nothing to be concerned about. I felt good with the fact I already did with them both.
Megan got in touch with me Friday afternoon, asking if EJ and his friend J-Mike can spend the night on Friday. I quickly agreed, preparing for an Aladdin night with the three of us. As soon as our last client arrived, I worked on the huddle board so we could leave when the clients did. Getting off an hour sooner than normal, I called in my order to an Indian place close to my house. I had enough time time to stop home, straighten up and shower before the food would be ready.
When I got home, I rushed to the shower. I didn't even think about where Justine was until I was getting dressed and I noticed she wasn't in the room with me. I went into the kitchen looking for her when I noticed Richard in my backyard. I went outside, and sure enough Justine was with him.
"What are you doing here?" We asked each other at the same time.
"I live here." I responded smartly.
"Aren't you supposed to be at work still?" He asked.
"I got off early. What are you doing?"
"Eric has a deal on a pindo palm. Wanted me to see if you would have room." He replied.
"Weren't those like 1000?" I asked, remembering the beautiful, massive and pricey trees.
"He said he would do it as long as you refer him to your neighbors." Richard shrugged.
"Ok. Are you done?" I asked.
"Yep. I'll get out of your hair." He got up from the grassy area he was measuring. It was the part of the backyard I was keeping open for Justine.
"I didn't mean it like that. I meant do you wanna have dinner?"
"No, I should leave." He said, looking away. I frowned, hating that it was tense between us. I really thought we were cool after our talk and I still wanted to invite him to Miami.
"No stay. I'm having an Aladdin night with EJ. I might even have a belly dancer costume..." I tempted him.
"You know that's offensive right?" He deadpanned.
I looked at him. I couldn't tell if he was joking or serious. I did know that I didn't want things to be strained between us.
"Fine, no costume. Just the entire trilogy of Aladdin and a smorgasbord of Indian food on the way if you stay."
"I'll stay...You know your house is gonna smell for a week." He teased, finally smiling.
"I have air fresheners." I smiled back.
Megan and J-Mike's mom Candace dropped off the boys 10 minutes after the food arrived. They turned the movie night into an Indian food challenge, with me recording them on my phone. I gladly did it if it meant EJ would at least try everything. When EJ said the Samosas were salty, J-Mike ask him if they were as salty as he was when he beat him in NBA2k. Richard and I both burst out laughing when EJ through one at him.
Halfway through the second movie, the boys got bored and decided to go to bed. Before they went upstairs, I text Ethan to make sure it was ok for them to post the video. He called me and said it was fine, although he didn't know I was watching the boys. After they went upstairs, Richard and I turned off the movie and started to clean up.
"So I wanted to ask you if you wanna go to Miami next week." I asked him. When he narrowed his eyes at me, I explained.
"Christian is playing at the Ultra Music Festival and wants me to come with my friends. I know it's last minute, but I'll love for you to come. It's going to be fun! And it might be good to get a break from everything." I over explained as he watched me cautiously. The movie went so well. Why was it tense between us now?
"How's Christian feel about you inviting me?" Richard asked.
"He doesn't care. In fact, he asked if you wanted to come."
Richard scoffed, and I looked at him, confused.
He cleared his throat. "This stays between us, alright?"
"Ok..." I said, concerned.
"I get the feeling he thinks there's something going on between us. He only asked because he wanted to see what you would say about inviting me."
"What makes you think that?"
"He called me, wanting to surprise you with something for your backyard."
"What? When?"
"Thursday."
"What did he say to you?"
"Nothing really... It's just how he came off."
"How did he come off?"
"Like he was your man and I was the hired help." He clarified.
"Fuck. Richard. I'm so sorry."
"It's good. I'm overcharging the fuck outta him anyway." Richard smiled. "But what you told me last week about y'all just dating... I don't think he sees it the same way."
I frowned. "Yeah. Thanks for letting me know."
Once he left, I went upstairs to check on the boys. When I heard them laughing and talking, I left them alone and went to my room. I lay in bed, thinking about my conversation with Dr. Pereira. Even though I hadn't reached out to Uriel about hooking up again, I knew whatever I decided he was fine with our arrangement. Christian on the other hand, even though he said he was fine with us just dating, I wasn't sure if that included me dating other people. Maybe I needed to tell him I was. I shuddered at the thought of his reaction. Christian could be understanding, but he was also emotional and volatile at times...
I took a deep breath and turned off the lights. No need worrying about it now. I was honest about not wanting a relationship and my expectation of us not being exclusive or committed to one another. He agreed and I was going to believe that he was telling me the truth. I wasn't going to stress out over it; My perception had to be that it would all work out. If it didn't, I would deal with it then.
