Tell the Truth Outro

***Hey everyone. I don't know what this post is. Hopefully a bonus if I get time to write tonight. Please excuse the errors. We'll get to them!***



"One day the skeletons are gonna come out
One day the elephant in the room will make a sound
Watch out for lions and tigers and bears
It's bout to hit the fan, better beware
Tell the truth(x4)
The closest people to you, you can't trust
Your family hurts you more than your friend does
There ain't nowhere to hide, nowhere to go
You better watch the finger too damn close" Tell the Truth by Jussie Smollett


My original outfit I picked was a blue and green plaid skirt and crop top with Ked sneakers a la Taylor Swift. After scrutinizing my stomach, I decided the outfit would only work if I had a taller, thinner body like Taylor Swift or Jordan...

I put the crop top/skirt combinations away and went for a more flattering black polo dress. It showed off my boobs and legs, while hiding my flabby arms, thighs and stomach. I still channeled Taylor Swift, rocking my red Keds, red lipstick, a cat eye, and curls. My hair was thicker than Jordan's, so I slayed her in that category.

"You look great!" Jordan smiled at me as we headed out.

"So does my dress on you, but you already know that..." I joked, half heartedly. Jordan laughed and we got into her car and headed to Top Golf.

There were a few locations in the north Texas area, but they chose the one in Allen. I wasn't familiar with the area at all, but Steven and Q were and they said the location was bigger. It was 3 stories of completely craziness in the best way. It was a mixture of a driving range,  (there were lanes to hit the ball off on all 3 levels) nightclub (with the DJ blaring music and lights flashing from the golf targets) and restaurant (full service bar, food, lounge areas to eat)

Steven text Jordan what bays we were waiting for. We made our way up to the third floor. Gregory, one of the nurses, spotted us first and waved us over. I greeted him, Denise, Q, Steven, Tami and Robert with hugs. Besides Q, I hadn't seen any of them since before my suspension. We caught up, talking loudly over the music.

"Derek's not coming?" Steven asked Jordan.

"Probably not." She replied, shrugging.

"Damn. He missed up my numbers." Steven complained.

"My boyfriend is coming!" I told him.

"Is it the same guy that was at Pappadeaux?" Steven question me.

Jordan laughed. "No Steven. That was last year!"

"Ok. Lily, team 1. Jordan, team 2." Steven delegated.

"I'm team shots!" Jordan joked. I smiled and walked with her to the bar. We didn't get shots, but while we contemplated the drink menu, a guy in front of us asked what we were having. Before I could open my mouth to decline, Jordan answered margaritas. While we waited for the drinks, Jordan chatted him up. When the drinks arrived, she thanked him, telling him the bay number we were playing at.

"What the hell Jordan?" I asked as we walked away.

"What?" She said, sipping on her drink.

"You totally used that guy for drink."

"How do you figure? He offered."

"Thinking you were single."

"He should have asked before he offered the drinks." She grinned.

I shook my head at her, but drank too. By the time we came back, everyone arrived including Trevor. He was talking with Kendall and Kendall's friend who named I did not remember.

"There she is." Trevor smiled, looking me over.

"There you are. What team are you on?" I asked, hugging him.

"Team 2." He said, leaning over to give me a kiss. I leaned in too, angling my head to avoid his ball cap.

"I'm team 1." I pouted when I pulled away. "Why are you wearing that hat?" It was red and didn't match his khakis or blue plaid shirt.

"Because I need a haircut. Why are you wearing a dress?" He asked.

"'Cause it's cute." I replied, smoothing it down, self consciously.

"Yeah, remember that when we start playing. I know how you get. Be cute, not a sore loser." Trevor teased with a smile.

"Whatever. I'm always cute and never a loser!" I taunted before we split up and went to our respected bays.

Each bay was kinda like a bowling alley lane. The balls automotive popped up when you swung your club. The object of the game was to hit your ball as close to the targets as possible. The closer you got, the more points you received. The score was kept electronically on screens above us. We were competing individual and as two separate teams. In between turns, we sat, ordered food and drinks and talked to each other over the music.

I've never golf other than putt putting, so on my turn Trevor tried to step in and give me pointers. Kendall stopped him since we were on opposing team. Steven, our team leader, talked me, Q, and Heather through it.  Denise and Robert didn't need advice: she played in college and Robert was getting some lucky hits that were rolling onto targets. After the first couple of swings, I had it down; I just had to work on aim.

Individually, I did ok. I wasn't the worst on my team, but we still losing to team 2 that consisted of Kendal, his friend, Jordan, Tami, Gregory, and Trevor.

"It's because we have more girls." Steven complained.

"Fuck off Steven. I'm kicking Q's ass." Denise commented.

"I'm black. We don't golf." Q exclaimed.

"Tiger Woods." Everyone said.

"He's not really black. We don't claim him anymore." Q shook his head.

We were laughing when Jordan turned on us. "Be quiet, I'm concentrating." She said, with a playful grin.

"You can't complain Steven. We have Jordan!" Gregory laughed.

"Keep talking and I'm going to blow my turns" She threatened pointing her club at him.

"That's not what you're doing already?" Kendall asked, sarcastically.

"I quit!" Jordan declared while we laughed. I peaked over to look at her score. They would not miss her few points.

"No you don't. C'mere." Trevor coaxed her, grabbing her wrist and guiding her into the proper stance. I knew he was just helping her out, but I couldn't stop the flash of jealousy and annoyance at them both.

Everyone on my side cheered. I forced my eyes away from Jordan and Trevor and looked at Steven. Apparently, he made a great hit.

"Come on guys! Time for a comeback!" Steven rallied us.

All Steven's coaching didn't help. We still lost. Between Trevor's and Gregory's high ass score, they slaughter us.

"Why didn't you tell me your boyfriend plays golf?" Steven said.

"You didn't ask. He doesn't, at least not regularly anymore. He just got lucky." I explained. He used to golf on Sundays with my brother. Now, he hung out with me.

"You're sounding like a sore loser over there..." Jordan teased me.

"Oh, you shut up. You got the lowest score out of everyone!" I pointed out while everyone "Ohhed"

"Lily-" Trevor started.

"Girl fight!" Kendall laughed at us.

"Bet you won't hit her!" His friend called out.

"Worst score on the winning team is better than the best score on the losing team." Jordan bantered back.

She was right. I didn't even have the best score, so I shut up, defeated.

The best players decided to play another game. It really was just Steven trying to beat Trevor and Gregory, so we condensed down to one bay to let them play along with Denise.

I sat down with Q, Heather, Kendal, and Robert after declining another trip to the bar with Jordan and Tami. I was limiting myself to one drink and Jordan was irritating me so I needed a break.

I told them the whole twisted tale of the suspension and my subsequent quitting.

"The whole thing was so stupid." Q shook his head. I nodded.

"Avoidable if you just talked to Sandra." Robert added. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Or she could have talked to Lily before going to Ann." Heather added. "That's why I don't like Sandra; she's never on our side. Whether it's patients or doctors, when there's a problem, it's something we did." Heather complained.

"She has a hard job. Managing everyone." Robert defended her.

"Which she made harder by dating and trusting the word of a former patient."Kendal stated. "Even I knew it was kids acting stupid."

"Winner's fishbowl." Jordan cheered, sitting a huge drink in front of us. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Losers want a drink?" Q offered.

"I'll come!" I said, standing.

"Me too." Heather joined us.

"Is it me, or is Jordan super annoying tonight?" I asked them at the bar.

Heather gave me a little smile. "She's always annoying."

"You two need to stop. Heather thought you were annoying too." Q told me.

I looked at Heather, and she shrugged. "Yeah, I did. Not going to lie."

"Why?" I asked. "We didn't even talk."

"Exactly. You latched on to annoying Jordan. Then the whole Kendall thing-"

"What Kendall thing?" I questioned.

"Y'all weren't talking?"

"No! I don't date co-workers. I learned that the hard way!" I denied.

"What about Valentine's day?"

"Fuck no. I was dating Trevor! I took Kendall to bitter ball and he hooked up with my roommate."

"Scumbag." Heather muttered.

"If it makes you feel better, she hooked up with her ex at least once and dumped him."

Heather gave me a wryly grin. "It kinda does. Thanks."

We returned back to the lounge seats and watch the end of the game. Steven and Trevor were neck and neck. Jordan was sitting, chatting with the guy that bought her a drink when her phone rang. "It's Derek. Be right back!" She squeaked, standing up and leaving to answer it.

"Who's Derek?" The guy asked.

"Her boyfriend." I smiled. He got up and left.

 I was chatting with Q about the jobs I applied to when Jordan returned.

"Is he coming?" I asked, hopefully.

"No." She huffed. "Where'd Paul go?"

"He left when I told him who Derek was." I replied.

She gave me a dirty look but didn't say anything as she sat and finished her drink.

Steven won and Trevor was the first to congratulate him graciously. We moved to the terrace and finished our drinks. I honestly had a great time and I gave everyone a hug at the end of the night and promised to stay in touch.

As much as I didn't want to work at the clinic I was going to miss them; even Heather and Kendall. Not Sandra or Robert. I knew once I started working I was going to miss my lunches with Jordan, even though she drove me crazy sometimes.

"She seems sad. I feel bad for her." Trevor said, when I told him everything, including how Jordan irked the hell out of me.

I wanted to be really spiteful and say she didn't seem sad when she was flirting with random dudes and was getting golfing tips from him, but I bit my tongue. I knew she was sad, but she also had control over that. It was hard to have sympathy when she chose to stay unhappy, so I said nothing.

Speaking of choices, on Monday as I waited to take my drug test, I called Rocky's job to set up an appointment with her. She didn't get in touch with me the entire weekend, so I decided to speak to her at work. I figured that was the best choice: She couldn't hide from me at her job.

I made the appointment for Tuesday under the name Carol Alan. I giggled at my cleverness. She would figure it out if she thought about it: it was the combination of mine and Trevor's middle name.

She didn't think about it. She completely froze when she came out in the lobby to greet me Tuesday afternoon.

"Miss Smith? I'm Carol Alan" I said with a smile.

A dark gleam settled in her eyes as she narrowed them at me before she caught herself.

"Of course. Follow me." She said, her voice calm, her face neutral, but I could tell she was holding in her wrath.

I knew she wouldn't be happy with me just showing up. I figured she offered plenty of times to help me with buying a house. I knew should would be professional. I hoped it would break the ice so she would talk to me later without me being a crazy stalker. It was a win-win situation.

"I'm sorry for coming out of the blue, I just wanted to talk to you." I said, with a sly smile as I sat.

"You couldn't take the hint that I didn't want to talk to you?" She said, still standing across from me. Now I wished I didn't sit.

"I got the hint. I just don't want you to feel that way. You shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk to me-" I explained

"Why would I be embarrassed or ashamed?" She said through gritted teeth.

"I heard about you and Brandon and the nail and bail-"

"It wasn't a nail and bail!" She said, raising her voice.

I looked around, wide eyed.

Why was she mad at me?

"Rocky, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You don't get it, that's what's wrong. I don't even know how to deal with you anymore."

I stiffened up. "I'm not a child you have to deal with. You can start by talking to me."

"I have! I told you I don't want anything to do with Bilal and you didn't listen."

I leaned against the chair, physically taken aback.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"That text! I told you I wanted him out of my life and you text me about him!"

"I sent that as a heads up." I argued. "I thought you would want to know."

"I didn't need a heads up! I needed you to listen to me, then you would have known I didn't want to know!"

"I'm sorry. I was looking out for you. I sent the text in good faith-" I tried to apologize, sincerely. Rocky scoffed and crossed her arms. "Are you seriously still mad at me? Over a fucking text?" I said, shocked.

"Are you done? I have work to do." She said, moving behind her desk.

I sighed and watched her. When she glared at me, I crossed my arms too.

"No, I'm not done. I want to buy my dream house. I was told you would be able to help me figure things out financially." I said, stubbornly.

She rolled her eyes before typing on her computer.

"Well, Mrs. Alan, what is your price range? About how much would you like your mortgage payments to be?" She asked me.

"I'm not sure-"

"That's perfectly fine." She said, with an offsetting bright smile. "How much are you paying to rent right now? What can you afford?"

I fidgeted. I couldn't afford anything right now without a job. She knew that. "I don't know yet. My boyfriend and I haven't discussed it-"

"Boyfriend? Who's name is the loan going to be under?" She said, feigning surprise.

"Both..." I said, unsure. We hadn't actually talked about that...

"I must advise you that if you two run your credit together, the scores will stay attached long after you break up." Rocky commented.

"Rocky!" I gasped at her.

"You know what's worse than a break up? A property dispute. Buying a home before marriage is risky. You both should protect yourself. If you decided to apply for a loan together, you should plan what will happen when- excuse me-if you no longer want to live together."

I just stared at her, horrified. How could she say that about Trevor and me?

She handed me a stack of papers and offered me another smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm looking out for you." She said with a fake smile. "So many people do things in good faith without out thinking it through." She explained, pulling out forms from her desk. "Look over these with your boyfriend. They have a lot of great information. Feel free to call me if you two have any questions or concerns. I look forward to helping you find your dream home."

She said it so warmly, I wouldn't have questioned her intentions if I didn't know she was mocking me. I took the papers from her, watching her closely. The smile stayed plastered on her face, her eyes had the same dark gleam. I couldn't believe this was the same person I considered family. Better than family considering I knew her longer than some of my blood relatives. I turned around and left the office.

I was proud of myself. The first tear didn't fall until I pulled out the parking space. I wiped it away quickly, willing the tears away.

I failed miserably as I silently sobbed the whole drive home.

Tell the Truth (Intro)

"Everyone, has a closet
In the night, they wear disguises
In the dark, they hide from the truth
In the end, they lie to you
One day the skeletons are gonna come out
One day the elephant in the room will make a sound
Watch out for lions and tigers and bears
It's bout to hit the fan, better beware
Tell the truth(x4)" Tell the Truth by Jussie Smollett

By Saturday afternoon, I came to the conclusion Rocky was ignoring me. While Bilal was in town, I assumed she wasn't speaking to me because of him. When she didn't respond Thursday when I was freaking out over my drug test, I figured she was busy at work.

I tried to call again on Friday to get her advice about my drug test. I called the HR manger I interviewed with and lied about being too busy at my current job. He believed me and told me normally it was a 48 hour window to take the test. Since the lab was closed over the weekend, he told me Monday would be fine.

I read online something about drinking water to have a clean test, so I drank water excessively. I knew Rocky cut ties with any of her friends that used to smoke weed, but I still wanted to see if she had any advice. Even if she didn't, I wanted her to know Bilal was gone. Truthfully, I needed something to do other than be at home or hang with Trevor.

I didn't want to be at my apartment because Jasmine was moving over the weekend, I just wasn't sure what day. One of the TV station was broadcasting all of the Jurassic Park movies, getting ready for next week's release of Jurassic World. Trevor was spending his Friday night with Chris and Peyton: fellow Jurassic Park enthusiasts.

I saw the first movie. I just wasn't a dinosaur girl; I believed they were dead for a reason. It wasn't entertaining for me watching what would happen if we foolishly brought them back to life. I was even a less fan of Peyton. She really was Rocky's friend and while we were cool, we never connected. The fact that she was friends with Becca didn't help things. I still got pissed when I thought about that bitch taking pictures with Justine...

Anyway, Rocky didn't respond. I reached out to Sammy, but she had to work and Amber worked every Saturday night. I even called Jordan, but she was having a date night with Derek. I was stuck with Trevor, Peyton and Chris watching movies. Trevor hosted and was sweet enough to buy my favorite junk food; nachos, brownies and gummy bears. As we watched the movies together, I worked out during the commercials while Trevor told me I was being ridiculous.

"Says the guy that eats all he wants and never gains a pound. You shut up!" I told him.

Peyton laughed at me. I took a break, and sat beside her.

"Have you heard from Rocky recently?" I asked.

Peyton nodded. "Yeah...what do you think about the whole Brandon thing?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It's hard because I know Rocky, but I can't blame Brandon for being upset. I don't think I could just move on from it. It's easier said than done."

"I get that, but the whole nail and bail was bad on his part. " Peyton said, disgusted.

"What nail and bail?!?" I asked, shocked.

"Movie's back on." Chris announced, looking over at us.

"Yeah, you shut up." Trevor added in.

I stuck my tongue out at him. During the next commercial, I led her to the kitchen.

"When did this happen?" I asked.

"Memorial Day weekend."

"I thought she was hanging out with you and Jackie."

"She did. She left and met up with him at a hotel room. Apparently he was drunk, and they had sex. He- woke up and left."

I felt sick to my stomach. I was disgusted by Brandon's actions, but even more disturbed by Rocky. What the fuck was she thinking?

"Is that why she's not returning my calls?You think she's embarrassed?"

Peyton looked away. "You should talk to her about it."

I would if she would answer. Part of me was irritated that she talked to Peyton and not me. We were like sisters. She should have told me the truth not avoided me because she was ashamed.

"Peyton, can you grab me a soda on your way back?!?" Chris called.

"Coming!" Peyton replied, turning to the refrigerator. We returned to the living room together.

Trevor and I woke up late the next Saturday morning. He had to catch up on his work on Kenji's website, so I let him work as I drove to Rocky's house. I knocked on the door before I tried to let myself in. The code she set no longer worked. I called her and it rang to voicemail. I left another message saying I heard what happened with Brandon and wanted to talk.

I was tempted to walk to the back of her house to see if her car was there, but I learned my lesson about snooping and minding my own business. I was on my way back to my car when Jordan called.

"Two things: A bunch of us from work are going to Top Golf tonight. Do you wanna come?" She asked.

"Aww, do y'all miss me?" I smiled.

"Yeah, and everyone wants to know what happened. I haven't said anything."

"Sure, I'm there. What's number 2?"

"Are you home? I have a gift for you." Jordan asked.

"No, I'm actually leaving Rocky's. Meet me at Trevor's place?"

"I don't know where he lives and I'm like 5 minutes from your place." Jordan responded.

"Ok." I said, reluctantly as I drove to my apartment. I saw Jasmine's car wasn't there so I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she got an early morning start and was done.

I let Jordan in and she handled over a CVS bag. I opened it to reveal a drug test.

"It's a gift from Corey. Why do you need it?" Jordan question.

I explained to her about my interview and how I had a drug test Monday as I opened the test. I read through the instructions, grateful for my binge water drinking. I had to pee constantly!

I went to the bathroom and took the test. I had to wait 10 minutes, so I left the test in the bathroom while I waited with Jordan. She told me about her "date" night with Derek.

"It ended up being a work dinner. He's so frustrating. It's always work with him." Jordan complained.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I'm trying to be supportive. This is where he wants to be. Director at a hospital, he loves it. . I thought once he had it he would slow down, delegate. He hasn't yet."

I made a face. "You have to say something. My dad is the same way. He said he didn't want to get remarried because he'd rather focus on work. You need to let him know that doesn't work for you."

"I could make it work for a ring." She said, with a little smile.

"A ring doesn't magically fix thing. Rocky will tell you that."

If she would talk to me...

Jordan exhaled, sharply. "This takes me back to school. Waiting for test results, praying that it was negative." She said, changing the subject.

"Were all your friends druggies?" I obliged her.

"No. More like pregnancy test." Jordan scoffed.

"Geez, what was wrong with your friends?"

"You know what the crazy part was? We'd celebrate negative test with alcohol, guys and condoms." She laughed.

I laughed too as my alarm went off. "Be right back." I exclaimed, before rushing up the stairs. I read the test. There was one solid control line so I knew it was working. Then, faintly, was another line. Indicating negative. I broke out in a smile and dance.

"Jordan! Bust out the alcohol, guys and condoms,  'cause the test was negative!" I called out as I pranced down the stairs.

Jordan started laughing as I almost lost my footing when I noticed who was standing next to her. It was Jake, and by the look on his face, he heard everything I said. My cheeks flushed, as I noticed Jasmine, Brandon and Omar in the living room too.

"Drug test!" I blurted, quickly, which made Jordan laugh harder. I was so glad my misery was making her happy...

Honestly, I kinda was. She sounded and look so depressed about Derek. If my embarrassment in front of my ex-boyfriend, ex-roommate, ex-fiance of my best friend and ex-enemy made her smile, I'd take it.

I laughed too. "Never mind. Restart. Hey everyone!"

Jasmine mustered a 'hello" before heading upstairs. Brandon greeted me with a nod of his head before following Jasmine. Omar asked me how I was doing, and I returned the greeting. It looked like he wanted to say something more, but he said "fine", and followed them upstairs.

Jake gave me a genuine smile. "I was going to see how unemployment was treating you, but it sounds like you're doing ok."

"You're right. I'm good. Thanks!" I replied.

"You sure? Because if you need help staying out of trouble, I have something for you to do..."

"I'm good. Besides, you wouldn't trust me with a gun, remember?"

"That's not the job I had in mind-"

"Stop right there. I don't want to hear anymore." I cut him off.

"What do you think it is?" Jake asked, while Jordan smiled.

"Doesn't matter. I'm not interested."

"Jake! Get up here!" Jasmine yelled from upstairs.

"I'll come when I'm ready!" Jake yelled back.

"I know you have plans," Jake said, causing Jordan to giggle. "but can you hang around? I need to talk to you."

"Um, Jordan. Do we need to get going?" I asked, hoping she'll bail me out.

"No. You should pick out something for tonight." Jordan said.

I narrowed my eyes at her, but agreed.

I took Jordan upstairs to get out of their way.

"Thanks a lot Jordan. You fucked me."

"Oh, come on. You know you want to know what he wants."

Yeah, I did.

"I'll be with you the whole time." She reassured me.

Jordan and I spent that time combing through my closet and planning out our looks for the evening. I talked Trevor into joining us while Jordan tried the same for Derek.

She showed me the text he sent.

Derek: Depends on how late I get out of here. I'll text you back.

I nodded, sadly. She quickly pulled out a dress and  asked to borrow it. It was the black and white bodycon dress Jake bought for me. I thought it was too much for top golf, but I let her borrow it anyway. I put her hair up in the hot curlers while she did her makeup. She looked amazing when we were done.

When they were done, Jasmine and Brandon hightailed it out without saying goodbye. Jake came and got me, so we went downstairs together. Omar sat on the couch, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Did y'all get something to drink?" I asked.

"I'll get it." Jordan offered, heading to the kitchen.

"I'll help." Jake said, following her.

I sat down across from Omar.

"I have a favor to ask; Completely up to you." He started.

"Ok, shoot."

"Kelly is pregnant."

"Ohmigod, that's great! Right?" I asked, confused by his tone.

"Yes, she's 3 months now but she's- taking a lot of unnecessary precautions. I was hoping you could talk to her. "

"After what she went through, I understand. I would be the same. I mean, if she's listening to her doctors, what's the problem? "

"That is the problem; it's the exact opposite of what her doctors are telling her." Omar explained

"Like what?" I asked, as Jordan and Jake returned. Jordan handed Omar and me glasses before she took one from Jake.

"A lot of different lifestyle changes."

"Like?" I questioned.

"Her diet."

"That's not unreasonable." I said.

"She stopped any strenuous activities." Omar elaborated, after taking a sip of water.

"That's good." I said, thrown off by his vague answers. I refused to believe a doctor told them eating healthy and taking it easy wasn't necessary.

"Sex. She refuses to have sex." Jake said.

"Oh." I said, finally getting it.

Omar flushed. "It's more than sex. Her behavior has been... extreme since everything happened."

"What happened?" Jordan asked. I looked at Omar for permission to tell. He nodded.

"Her water broke too early during her first pregnancy. The baby didn't survive." I answered.

"Oh, bless her heart." Jordan said, with a sad expression on her face. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks. I thought she would chill once she got pregnant again." Omar said."But she hasn't. I don't know what you can say. I know last time you got through to her." He said, hopefully.

"I'll talk to her." I agreed.

"Thanks Lily." Omar breathed. He looked so relieved that I was glad Jordan didn't bail me out.

"No promises, but I'll definitely try." I promised.

They got up to leave. Jake stopped at the door.

"I owe you. What do you need? Besides booze, guys and condoms?" He asked.

I smiled. A big part of me wanted to ask him to make Brandon stop being a douche or Jasmine stop being a bitch, but I left it alone.

"Nothing. We're cool if you forget what you heard earlier."

He smiled. "Done." His phone beeped, and he looked down at it.

"Alright, what's going on with you and Jasmine?" He asked me.

"Nothing." I lied. I didn't want to ask if he still had feelings for me. If he didn't, how conceited would I look? If he did, did I want to know?

He looked at me skeptically and I shrugged. "You have to ask her. I'm good."

He nodded and left.

"Why didn't you tell me Jake brought you this dress?" Jordan asked.

"Does it matter? What did he say?" I asked, interested.

"Not much. He said I look better in it." She laughed.

I ignored the pang in my heart and went upstairs to finish getting ready.

Wanted

"When I wrap you up
When I kiss your lips.
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
'Cause, baby, I, I wanna make you feel wanted
As good as you make me feel
I wanna make you feel better
Better than your fairy tales
Better than your best dreams
You're more than everything I need
You're all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted" Wanted by Hunter Hayes


After Bilal left, I went back home to get ready for my interview the next day. Since I was trying not to spend money if I didn't have to, I planned to do everything at home. Instead of buying a new outfit,  I needed to put something together from what I had. I planned to do my own nails and wash and straighten my hair as well.

I found an outfit quickly; a great fitting pair of black trousers and a simple white blouse. I planned to wear my hair up and my diamond studs earrings. I figured understated would be best considering it was an assisted living facility.

I packed up everything I needed and headed back to Trevor's place. I unpacked the extra clothes I brought over and changed into work out gear. I drove to the gym and put in a full body work out. After I got back to Trevor's place and took a shower, I made us salads for dinner. I made Trevor a quesadilla to go with his.

Trevor came home and we sat in front of the TV and ate. I wasn't paying attention and picked at my salad; I skipped dressing so it didn't taste very good. I was too nervous about the interview to eat anyway. Even though it wasn't my dream job, it was still an interview and I desperately needed a job.

"Lilypad, are you listening?" Trevor interrupted me going over the bills due at the beginning of the month in my head.

"Yeah, I mean, no. I'm sorry. Can you repeat that?" I asked.

"Do you wanna watch Napoleon Dynamite? Make yourself a dang quesadilla?" Trevor asked.

I smiled. "Sure, after I take Justine outside. Do you wanna go for a walk with me?" I replied.

"Yeah."

I jogged ahead of Trevor on our walk as he waited for Justine to sniff around. Afterwards, we walked back to his apartment together, hand and hand.

"I'm surprised she didn't have to go." I said, as I caught my breath.

"She did." Trevor told me.

"I mean, number 2." I clarified.

"She did." Trevor repeated with a nod.

I frowned up. "I have bags... where did you put it?"

"Nowhere..."

"Trevor! What is wrong with you? That's so wrong!" I exclaimed.

"It's not a big deal-" He chuckled.

"That's illegal! And a part of owning a dog. They poop, you scoop. Where did she go?" I said, pulling out a bag.

"On the way out the apartments, in that little open area. You're really going to pick it up?"

"Yes! I take Justine out to that area all the time. I hate when people don't clean up after their dog. Little did I know, it's you!" I said, hiding my aggravation behind sarcasm. When we got to the field outside his apartment, I quickly located and cleaned up after Justine.

I gave Trevor a look that said, "See? Not so hard."

He responded with a wide eyed look. "Yeah... I don't think that's Justine's."

"What?!? Where did she go?"

"Over there... or maybe over there. Honestly, I don't remember. We should scoop up everything just in case." He teased me so I knew he was joking. My irritation faded away as I fought back a smile.

"It's not funny. It's the law. You know some communities do DNA test to see whose dog left it?" I informed him as I walked to the dumpster and tossed away the bag.

"Even more reason for us to double back and get rid of any evidence. How many bags do you have?" He smiled as he followed me.

"Shut up Trevor!" I said, jogging away so he couldn't see my smile.

"Come back Lily! Don't break the law!" He yelled after me. I took off running as I laughed. "I don't want Justine's DNA in the system! We'd have to go on the run!!!" He mocked me playfully as he chased after me.

When we got back to the apartment, I washed my hands while Trevor gave Justine a bowl of water. After drinking some water, I started the shower and stripped down before hopping in. I was washing when I heard "Dead or Alive" play.

"You're stupid Trevor!" I laughed.

"No... I'm an outlaw." He said, pulling back the shower curtain. I was momentarily distracted by his nude body as he joined me in the shower. He pulled me against him and pressed his lips against mine.



I was afraid I would be too nervous to sleep, but between my workout and Trevor, I was thoroughly exhausted. I even fell asleep on Napoleon Dynamite. Trevor and I got up together and had breakfast. I was doing my make-up when he came and gave me a kiss goodbye.

"Good luck Lily. Call me when you're done." He said.

"Ok." I said, giving him a sincere smile.

I don't know why, but Trevor put me completely at ease. Normally, I would be building up a facade and hiding my insecurities and nerves behind a poker face. That morning, I was filled with confidence. I finished my make-up and got dressed before heading to the assisted living facility.

It was more like a small community with suites and separate apartments. There was a health-care center in the main building that I walked to for my interview. I researched enough to know all the amenities the facility offered, but I was still surprised by how elegant everything was. I didn't have any experience with retirement or nursing homes, but the luxurious set up definitely took me be surprise.

Winston, one of the HR mangers that was interviewing me, stressed the importance of providing a warm environment for everyone receiving personalized care. A lot of his question revolved around me describing different situations with patients and how I handled them. Between my experiences at a hospital and clinic, I had plenty of examples and shared them with him confidently.

"That's wonderful." He said, after I told him why I wanted to work for the company. Of course the real reason was a paycheck, but I told him a half truth about wanting to help patients reach their goals. I did, I just wasn't sure if the patients or cases I wanted were at the assisted living facility.

"Our mission for every patient, whether it's long term or short term care, is for them to not only maintain their independent, but to thrive." Winston said, enthusiastically.

His enthusiasm was infectious. I nodded. "Absolutely. I would be honored to be a part of that."

"I can see your passion. That's trumps experience in my book. I think you would fit in great here." He said, pulling out some paperwork.

"Thank you." I smiled, excitedly.

"As soon as your background check comes back, it would be my pleasure to offer you the position. While we're waiting on that, we can go ahead and start the hiring process. If you have the time, we can get the drug test done today as well-"

I froze. Fuck...

"Is everything ok?" Walter asked me.

I forced a smile on my face. "Yes. Just a little stunned by how fast this is going. It's exciting." I lied, impressively.

"Don't worry. You won't be starting tomorrow." Walter chuckled. "Hiring is a process and you have to do some training. You can teach procedure, but you can't teach passion. Like I said, we want our staff excited about coming to work- " He went on, detailing the benefits and pay and work schedule.

I didn't hear a word he said. I was freaking out about the drug test. I smoked weed. In Mexico. Numerous times. I tried to remember when was the last time I smoked. Then I realized, it didn't matter because I have no idea how long it stayed in my system. Ohmigod, what if I took the test and failed? Who all would know? Would it affect my license? Would I get reported? Would I get arrested? What the fuck do I do?

"How does that sound?" Walter asked, after his spiel.

"Sounds great!" I said, chirpily.

"Good. Just take this form to anyone of these labs. Once we get your background done and the test results, I'll give you a call so we can start the next step." Walter said, standing. I stood up too and shook the hand he extended to me. "I look forward to seeing you again."

"You too. Thank you for your time- er, and the opportunity." I corrected when I noticed how final I sounded.

I got in my car and immediately called Trevor at his desk phone. I normally just called his phone and had him give me a callback, but I was freaking out.

"Trevor speaking." He answered, dully.

"I got the job." I blurted out after I drove away from the building. I knew I was being extremely paranoid, but I couldn't help it.

Oh God, the weed was still in my system!

"Lily? That's great!"

"No, they want to drug test me." I moaned.

"Ok..."

"Mexico! Weed!" I reminded him.

"Oh..." Trevor said, thoughtfully.

"What do I do? How long does it stay in your system?" I questioned.

"Lily, I have no idea. I'll Google it right now."

"No. That's not safe for work. I will! Call you back." I said.

I drove to the lab anyway and parked at the CVS next to it. Google was no fucking help as it had way too many conflicting opinions that basically said it depends on the person and usage.

I called Rocky, but she didn't answer. She must have been busy at work. I called Sammy next. She answered and when I explained to her what happened, she asked how long I have to take the test.

"I don't know. He said today." I panicked.

"Check the paper." She instructed me.

"Nothing." I said, reading through it quickly.

"Ok, call and ask." Sammy told me.

"I can't. How suspicious does that sound?"

"Tell him something came up and your not going to have time to go today." Sammy suggested.

"What would come up?"

"I don't know. Tell him you had to go back to work!"

"I don't remember if I told him I was still working or not!" I exclaimed.

"Then go take the test and hope it comes out clean."

"What happens if I fail?"

"You don't get the job."

"Obviously. Anything else?"

"I don't know Lily. I've worked in restaurants and fast food places: they never drug tested me." Sammy admitted.

"Ok. Bye Sammy."

I immediately looked up the consequences to failing a employment drug test. When I saw a post about a nurse getting reported to the board, I started my car and got the fuck out of there.

I spent the rest of the day, berating myself for smoking. What the fuck was I thinking? Then I recognized what I was thinking: freedom, fun and no fucking calories. Why wasn't I thinking about my career and my future? How could I be so stupid?

Trevor called me around noon, but I text him back, saying I would talk to him when he got home.

When he did, I told him I didn't take the test.

"I talked to Corey. He said you would have been fine."

"One person online said it stays in your system for 30 days." I said, skeptically.

"Maybe, but he said trace amounts won't pick up on an urine test; only a certain level. The amount you smoked, plus the fact that you don't smoke regularly, you should be fine." Trevor said.

"Should be? No guarantee. How does he know all that stuff anyway?" I asked.

"He works at a pharmacy." I raised my eyebrows at him. "And he used to do a lot harder drugs. Marijuana was the least of his concerns."

I rested my head against Trevor chest. "How could I fuck up that opportunity? I just ran away. What's wrong with me?" I commented.

"Maybe because a part of you knew you didn't want to work there." He replied, comfortingly.

"It doesn't matter. I still need a job." I looked up at him. "If you say trophy wife, I will strangle you."

He gave me a little smile."I know. I wouldn't be able to afford you anyway."

I sighed and buried my head in his chest. "You do want me without a job. I don't even want me without one."

"What do you mean?" He asked, wrapping his arms around me.

"School, my career, it's how I proved myself. It was the only thing I had going for me my entire life; the only thing I had complete control over. I don't know what to do or who I am without it. " I explained.

"That's not true. You're sweet and smart and generous and beautiful. That's who you are, not a job." Trevor listed. "I'd want you whatever way I can have you."

I lifted my head up and smiled. His words instantly restored my confidence. It was like he was out of a fairy tale. He always knew what to say. "Thank you Trevor. I love you so much."

"I love you too. Don't be impatient. Let me take care of you while you find the right opportunity."

I nodded and gave him a kiss. "Deal."

He stroked my hair as we cuddled on the couch. "Hey, maybe we can really be outlaws. They don't drug test for that and Justine can poop wherever she wants." He joked.

"Shut up Trevor!" I smiled.

Ok, maybe he wasn't like any fairytale I read growing up, but he was better. I didn't have my dream job yet, but he surpassed any dreams I had about a man.

"I'm serious. Bonnie and Clyde. Ride or die." He said, his smile lighting up his entire face.

I cracked up laughing. "You're not about that life Trevor."

I kissed him on the lips while I imagined our lives together. Surprisingly, I didn't think of our careers. I thought of our home, our families, our kids. It was perfect; all I ever wanted.

The Impression That I Get (Bilal's POV)

"I'm not a coward, I've just never been tested.
I'd like to think that if I was I would pass.
Look at the tested, and think there but for the grace go I.
Might be a coward, I'm afraid of what I might find out.
I've never had to knock on wood, but I know someone who has.
Which makes me wonder if I could.
It makes me wonder if I've never had to knock on wood.
And I'm glad I haven't yet because I'm sure it isn't good.
That's the impression that I get.
Never have, I'd better knock on wood.
'Cause I know someone who has.
Wonder if I could, it makes me wonder if I've never had to.
I'd better knock on wood 'cause I'm sure it isn't good.
And I'm glad I haven't yet, that's the impression that I get.” The Impression That I Get by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Bilal's Point Of View

The sounds of Lily and Trevor awakened me. They were up, cooking something in the kitchen, giggling and bantering playfully. I stretched, my head throbbing from my hangover.

Lily was dieting and Trevor had to work the next morning, therefore I drank alone as we watched "Darkside of the Rainbow." It felt a little voyeuristic sitting with them all cuddled up. Trevor joked the same thing back when Rocky and I were together. I drank to combat the feeling of loss and urge to reach out to her.

By the time the movie was over, I was ready to crash. Lily and Trevor made their way to bed together and I offered to put my headphones on. Trevor laughed while Lily looked confused.

I made a joke the first night I stayed when Trevor returned from following Lily in the kitchen. It was about wearing my headphones to bed to give them privacy. An odd expression was on his face before he shook his head and smiled.

"No, Lily's a screamer. It wouldn't help." He tried to joke, but I knew something was off.

"What's going on with you two?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said, plainly. Lily came out from the kitchen and said goodnight. The way he watched her confirmed to me something was up.

"Are y'all fighting again?" I continued.

"No, we're fine."

I stared at him, knowing he was lying. I've always been good at reading people. It was an innate skill. He knew that I knew he was bullshitting. I waited for him to tell the truth. After a few moments of silence, he broke.

"I don't know." He sighed.

"You don't know what? You're having second thoughts?" I probed.

"No, I'm not. I think she might. If not now, eventually."

Trevor was an optimist. It use to annoy the shit out of me when we first met. It didn't mesh with the cynical view I had on the world, but we figured it out. Something was amiss if he was predicting trouble in their relationship.

"What makes you think that?" I said, perplexed.

"You remember Ethan?"

I nodded silently. Lily's ex, Rocky's future brother in law-

"I just heard her on the phone with him." Trevor relayed, breaking my chain of thoughts. "He paid her lawyer fees."

"Why?" That was strange but I was trying to understand why that bothered him.

"I guess everyone knows I can't provide for her." He fretted.

"What makes you think you think that? J-Mike? Don't listen to him. He's an idiot."

"I'm not, but shouldn't she be coming to me to take care of her? Unless she feels like I can't?"

"She should be taking care of you considering she'll always make more money." I chuckled.

"You know what I mean." Trevor exhaled.

"Maybe if you were dating another girl. Lily's the most low maintenance girl I know." I pointed out.

"She's changed. She might realize she can do better." Trevor admitted.

"Yeah, but she doesn't want better, she wants you." I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Trevor didn't even crack a smile.

"Where is this coming from?" I said, seriously. "Everybody changes, but she's still Lily. It's painfully obvious how much she loves you. You need to talk to her." I said.

Trevor wiped his hand over his face. "Yeah, your right."

"I know." I finished my beer. "Don't start playing the martyr and decide what she wants. That never ends well."

"Yeah yeah. Speaking of not ending well, do I need to hide my keys so you don't something stupid?" Trevor raised an eyebrow at me. I knew he was talking about Rocky.

"Nope. I'm good." I said.

It was partially true. As long as I didn't think about her, I was good.


***Flashback***


We barely made it into the house after we started kissing outside Rocky's front door. I couldn't remember which one of us unzipped my pants or pulled her panties to the side. I remembered the moment I pushed into her. It was primitive; our desires overpowering everything else.

There was always a connection between Rocky and I; some intangible something that tether us together. Neither one of us knew what it was. We marveled at it when we first got to know each other, stealing moments whenever we could to see if it was real. We tested it through college, proving to ourselves and each other it was strong enough to endure. Ultimately, we ignored it when we went our separate ways, nether one of us willing to admit how we really felt.

Finding out that she felt the same way I did when we broke up is what made me realize why I could never be satisfied with anyone else. Noorie was perfect on paper; maybe if I met her first, I would have been perfectly happy not knowing any better. I didn't meet her first and I knew better. I knew perfection with Rocky, no one else measured up. Just because we weren't ready, didn't mean our connection went away. We prove that against her door.

It was more than sex. Her anger outside was enough to demonstrate nothing changed between us. She was always defiant, even when she agreed with me. I knew it was the reason she lashed out at me; because everything I said was true. I needed to show her, so I kissed her.

I wasn't planning to have sex with her, but it reestablished our bond. Her little whimpers in my ear reminded me of all the nights we stayed up talking on the phone about any and every thing . It was the way she glared at me, challenging me like she always did with her intelligent and feisty spirit.  She clung to me showing  how much she needed me, even though she never expressed it with words. Our connection was as strong as ever, possibly stronger.

After we came together, we shared a moment. A moment where I knew she felt our connection too. Her eyes were soft and sexy as she examined my face.  She wet her lips and my mouth automatically sought her tongue. It was a little game we started in college, and a laugh escaped from her lips.

"Fuck, I missed you Racqelle." I smiled against her lips. "I'll never let you go again..."

As soon as I said it, the moment was gone. She stiffened and struggled in my arms. "Put me down." Rocky demanded, hoarsly, looking away and breaking our eye contact.

I didn't want to pull away but I did as she asked. As I moved away from the front door I was holding her against,  her legs clutched me tighter, contradicting her words. I harden in response, and she froze.

"Let me go." She requested, firmly. Her eyes requested the exact opposite, but I listened to her words and helped her to her feet.

"You need to go. Now." She told me once she was standing.

"Ok." I nodded, pulling up my pants. "Are you going to be ok?"

"I'm fine." She replied brokenily. I could see the guilt all over her face. I felt like an asshole. Not that we had sex, but how it happen. Sure she was going to feel bad. I felt terrible putting her in that position.

"I can stay. We can tell him together." I said, stroking her arm. She pulled away like my touched burned her.

"No! We're not telling him anything. There's nothing to tell." She snapped, looking up at me, determined.

I looked at her, dejected. How could she deny what was between us? I know she felt it. Why did she keep fighting it?

"Racqelle-"

"Stop talking. Just go. This never happened." She ordered me, harshly.

I stood there, waiting for her to tell the truth. I stared in her eyes; they never could lie. Her eyes  stayed dark and uncaving. We stared down each other until I spoke.

"You can't lie to yourself. I tried it, trying to get over you-" I started.

"I am over you. I have Brandon! I love him! Only him. I don't want you. Get out! Now!" She yelled, fiercely.

At the mention of his name, I turned to leave. As I stepped out the door, I turned to her one last time. "I love you Ra-"

I didn't get to finish. She slammed the door in my face. As the door locked, I heard her sobs: Small and muffled behind the door. I never seen her cry before, just the sound destroyed me.

"Rocky please." I pleaded with her through the door, knocking on the wood. Soon, the sobs faded away. I still stood out there for 10 minutes, calling and texting. When she started forwarding my calls, I left.

***PRESENT***

I sat up slowly from the couch Wednesday morning. I was heading back to Austin as soon as I can get a rental car. It was too tempting to try to seek Rocky out and I knew she didn't want that. I had to respect her wishes.

I made my way to the kitchen. When I stepped into the kitchen, Trevor was embracing Lily from behind in front of the stove.

Trevor looked up and saw me, his hand suspiciously moving away from the space between the stove and the front of Lily's body. Apparently, I broke up Lily’s and Trevor’s love fest. Wasn't the first time; I gotten to the point I expected them to be attached to each other. Still disgusting, but I was happy Trevor talked to Lily. At least they were working it out.

"Good morning." Trevor grinned at me, pulling away from Lily.

"I made pancakes." Lily smiled, her face flushed.

"Smells good. Hopefully sanitary."

"No promises." Trevor said.

"Shut up Trevor. Yes, they are." She assured me, before getting us set up with pancakes and syrup.

"Are you going to eat?" Trevor asked Lily as she sat down with a glass of water.

"Yes, after I finish this." She motioned to her glass.

I snickered. "I didn't know cooking was such a work out."

"You must not be doing it right." Trevor commented.

I smiled. "How was it for you last night Lily?"

She laughed on the sip of water she was drinking. "I refused to get sucked into y'all's battle of stupidity."


After breakfast, Trevor left to go to work. I said my goodbyes to him then. Justine was out of dog food, so we were going to go to Lily's apartment before she dropped me off at Enterprise.

She cleared her throat before she began. "I talked to Ramon last night. Mama Smith and everyone is fine. There was some flooding in her house, but just water damage. Nothing major." Lily informed me.

I nodded. The radio station she had on started playing Maroon 5. Lily turned it up and I groaned.

"C'mon Lily. I've been punished enough."

"Adam Levine is not a punishment!" She exclaimed, while singing loudly about how this summer was going to hurt like a mother fucker.

How poetic. If there was wood around, I would have knocked on it.

When we got to her apartment, her roommate was sprawled out on the couch. She sat up quickly when we came in. Lily introduced us and tried to make small talk about Memorial Day. Her roommate barely gave responses before Lily gave up and went until the kitchen to grab dog food.

When Lily left, it was hostile silence, if that made sense. I could tell her roommate had a problem with me, just not sure why.

Lily returned with the dog food. On the way out, her roommate announced she would be moving out next weekend.

"Ok. Let me know if you need help." Lily said, brightly as we left. As soon as the door locked, she twisted up her face.

"I'm not helping that bitch with nothing." She declared.

I laughed. "So it wasn't just me? What's her problem?"

"Oh, you know. I'm leading on her brother by being friends with him." Lily said, flippantly.

"You slore."

Lily laughed. "Where did that come from?"

"One of those reality dating show Rocky used to love." I smiled.

Lily just nodded as we got in the car.

"That's right. I forgot your roommate is your ex's sister. No wonder it was so hostile." I said, remembering Brandon was best friends with Lily's ex.

"That's the thing; we were fine when Jake wasn't talking to me. Now that we're cordial she has a bitch fit because she thinks he has feelings for me. What sense does that make?" Lily asked as we drove off.

"I meant hostile towards me. Do you think he still has feelings for you?" I asked.

"No. Jake's a lot of things. Subtle is not one of them." Lily snorted. "I was pissed at you too, you know. I was pissed at Rocky until I realized it's none of my business. Jasmine needs to do the same. Grow up." Lily ranted.

I nodded. "I was pissed at myself. I know it was wrong. I never wanted to hurt her, but look what I did." I reflected.

"Everyone makes mistakes. It's how you move on from them that matters." Lily said, as we pulled up to Enterprise. After I rented a car, Lily gave me a hug.

"Don't be a stranger." She told me.

"I won't. Y'all need to make a trip to Austin before you start working."

"Fingers crossed. Wish me luck." She sighed.

"You don't need it." I responded.

"When I have my first paycheck to blow, we'll be down to celebrate."

"That's the spirit. I'll see you." I waved.

"Take care of yourself and each other." Lily waved back.

"Alright Jerry Springer." I smiled.

"That's what I do know. Horrible day time TV." She laughed.

"A mind is a terrible thing to waste."

"Too late."

I got into the rented vehicle. As hard as I tried to stop myself, I thought about Rocky. I wanted to know she was ok. I know Lily said she was, but I needed to see it with my own eyes. It was torture being so close to her, but not seeing her. It made me realize how far away from her I really was, not just in distance.

Our connection tied us together. I surrendered to it. I thought our feelings would be enough. That was my first mistake. It didn't matter how close we were if she didn't want it too. Relationships were hard work. I saw that with Trevor and Lily. They've been in love with each other since they met and they still had issues. They worked them out because they wanted to be together.

There was no chance if Rocky fought against us. Maybe she was lying to herself, but Rocky was set in her decision. I knew her well enough to know she would not budge. I had no other options but to move on. As I headed back to Austin, I told myself I would.

I told myself that before. The difference between now and then was that I wasn't ignoring what Rocky and I had. I couldn't compare other women to Rocky because it wasn't fair nor did it matter when Rocky didn't want to be with me. At the same time, I knew I could never fully close the door on Rocky and me. If we ever tried again, she would have to be the one to walk through the door.

I wasn't holding my breath on that.

Knock on Wood (Rocky's POV)

"I don't want to lose you, this good thing
that I got 'cause if I do
I will surely,
surely lose a lot.
'Cause your love is better
than any love I know.
It's like thunder, lightning,
the way you love me is frightening.
I'd better knock, on wood, baby.
Ain't no secret, that woman
She fills my lovin' cup
She see's to it, that I get enough
Just one touch from her
You know it means so much
It's like thunder, lightning,
the way you love me is frightening.
I'd better knock (knock knock) on wood baby." Knock on Wood be Eddie Floyd


Rocky's Point of View


***FLASHBACK***

“You need to leave.” I said, making sure my voice was laced with venom. My original reaction was disbelief when I saw him standing outside my house. My heart started beating rapidly as I debated what I should do. I thought about the audacity of him to just show up at my house, unannounced, and became livid. I prepared to let him have it as I answered the door.

“I need to talk to you Rocky.” Bilal said.

"So you come by my house without asking or calling?" I snapped.

"I've been calling all week. You didn't want to hear me out." He said, firmly.

He had a point. I stopped any conversation about what happened between us. When Lily told him I wanted to be with him after college, he wanted to talk about it. It didn't matter to me. I wasn't interested in rehashing it.

“I've been busy.”

"You don't look busy now."

“I am. Brandon and I are busy.” I lied.

He pursed his lips as to say, “Nice try." “Funny, I just called Target and spoke to him.”

I went to slam the door in his face, but he put his foot in the way, jamming it.

“Move it before I break it.” I warned him.

“Break it. I don’t need my foot to talk.” He said stubbornly. He had a fixed look on his face. I knew he wasn’t going to let whatever he had to say go.

"Why would you call Brandon? What the hell is wrong with you?" I said, frustrated and becoming increasingly agitated with him.

“Calm down Rocky. He thought I was a customer with a complaint that meant to call Wal-Mart.” Bilal smiled.

“It’s not funny.”

“You didn't hear it. I did an accent and everything." He said, in a pronounced accent.

“Still not funny. It’s his job.” I retorted, stopping the smirk that wanted to form on my face.

“A little funny?" Bilal questioned.

“No.” I lied.

"I know he's not here. I just want to talk to you. 10 minutes, then I'll go." Bilal promised.

“No. The fact that you don’t want Brandon here lets me know I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.” I shot him down.

“Fine. We can wait until Brandon gets here. I don’t care.” He said, posting up outside my door.

I rolled my eyes, looking at the top of the door. Jackie invited me out, and I turned her down. Since Brandon had to work, I was looking forward to a quiet night at home. I should have knocked on wood.

"5 minutes." I said, opening the door.

He made a step forward to come inside, and I blocked him, holding a hand to his chest. I pushed him back, ignoring the heat that radiated from his chest to my hand.

"No, you can't come in." I said, stepping outside. I closed the door and turned to him.

"You wanna go sit in my car like old times?" Bilal asked, with a dark gleam in his eyes.

I knew what old times he was talking about, and I didn't want to rehash that either.

I crossed my arms. "If you wanna waste your time with nonsense-"

"I don't. I'm sorry." He said, quickly.

"You are. Now what do you want?" I commented back smartly.

He huffed in frustration. “I wanna talk about us."

"There is no us. We broke up: meaning, I don’t want to talk to you nor do I want to be friends. "I emphasized while my pulse increased. He had no right to bring all this up. When we broke up, he couldn't care less. I was completely over it now. He needed to do the same.

"I know that. There would be if you would have told me how you felt back then." Bilal accused.

"What makes you think that?" I flared up at him, before I caught myself. "You know what, don't answer that. Just say what you need to say so you can leave."

"I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life." He explained.

 I laughed, humorlessly. "Tell me something I don't know. Every time I brought up the future, you brushed me aside."

"That's because I didn't have everything mapped out like you. The only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted you."

I shook my head, bitterly. That's all I wanted to hear back when we broke up. Now, it was a little too late. "When I told you I wasn't going to be with someone with no plans, what did you say?" I interrogated him, putting my hands on my hips.

"I told you not to be with me." He hung his head.

"Exactly. I gave you exactly what you wanted. You don't get to change the past Bilal."

"I'm not changing the past. I know what I said; I should have told you how I felt but I thought I was doing right by you. I thought if I couldn't give you what you wanted, I should let you go. What's your excuse for not telling me the truth?"

I ignored his question. "It was the right thing. It was the best thing you ever did for me. Thank you." I said, full of sarcasm, ready to end the conversation.

"Racqelle." He said simply. The way he said my name made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Fight or flight instinct kicked in instantly. As satisfying as it might be to slap him, I knew I had to get away from him.

"Your time is up." I said, heading to the door. My hand was turning the knob when he grabbed my arm and turned me around.

"Let me go!" I spat at him, clawing at his hand.

He didn't even flinch. "Not until you hear me out. I made that mistake before. I've tried to move on but I can't. I thought it was me; that I wasn't ready to settle down, but it's you. No one else compares to you. I love you. I never stopped." He said, holding me tighter.

"Let go!" I demanded, feeling heat rush to my face as I flushed at his words. I looked down to hide my face from him.

"Tell me you don't have feelings for me and I will."

"I don't!" I proclaimed.

"Look at me and tell me." He used the hand that wasn't holding my arm to lift my chin I stared into his eyes; his golden brown eyes watching me critically, seeking the truth.

It took me back to the many playful arguments we had. Truthfully, we thought very similarly, but I used to play devil's advocate. He was always so cool and collected; it was fun to get under his skin. It was our kind of foreplay...

At that thought, I used my free hand to slap him across the face. He immediately let go of me and pulled away in shock. I ignored the hurt and disbelief in his eyes. I ignored my own guilt and honed in on my anger.

Anger, that’s the reason Bilal was affecting me like this. My rapid heartbeat, increased pulse, flushed skin: they were all a result of anger at him. Nothing else.

"You don't get to come here and make demands Bilal. We're over and done. I don't care how you feel or what you think-"

My rant was cut short by him closing the distance between us. He had that same stubborn look on his face, but a different look in his eyes. I couldn't read them. I swallowed, nervously.

Fight or flight took over again. This time, I balled up my fist. I already tried flight, now I would strike him if he touched me again.

He didn't grab me. He did something I wasn't expecting: He kissed me. Conflicting emotions hit me all at once. I couldn't process how I felt. His kiss was comfortable but strange. I knew how wrong it was that he was kissing me, but the familiarity made it feel right. His lips against mine were urgent, but unhurried. He passionately manipulated my lips open and slowly explored my mouth. I groaned, in either protest or pleasure. I couldn't decipher which one. Truthfully, it was both.

In the back of my mind, I knew I needed to stop, but I couldn't remember why. I brought my clenched fist up to his face. Instead of clocking him away like I should, I kissed him back.


***PRESENT***


My original plan was to drop off the ring with a note Saturday. I knew they would be heading to the lake Saturday. When I called Jake to figure out the best time to do that without seeing Brandon, he told me I needed to talk to him. When I told him what Ethan said about waiting it out, he sighed.

“Maybe that would work if it was Ethan, but Brandon feels like you don’t care.” He told me.

“What am I supposed to do if he won’t answer my phone calls? Make him?” I countered. Now that I was giving him space, he believed I didn't care. I understood everything was my fault, but I couldn't fix it if he wasn't ready to hear me out.

“You two created this dynamic where you fight and argue. What's he supposed to think when you're not doing that?” Jake asked me.

That’s what made me abandon my plan of waiting it out. I found out from Jake when he would be back at his apartment. I stood outside and waited for him. When he arrived, I told him we needed to talk. Before he could reply, I said I was sorry. I handed him the engagement ring and told him I would do whatever it took to gain back his trust, love and ring. He just stared at me, but I didn't back down.

“Why did you do it?” Brandon finally asked.

I asked myself that same question, over and over again since I slept with Bilal. Lily thought it was closure and my mom thought it was a sign.

“I don’t know Brandon.” I answered. I still didn’t have an answer to why I cheated. It sounded callous when I said it, but it was the truth. The truth was the only plan I had now. I had to stick with it.

His face flashed with anger. “I don’t know is not good enough.”

“I know. I wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t."

"You still have feelings for him?" He said, more like an accusation than a question.

"No! It was a stupid, horrible mistake." I answered.

“A mistake that happened with him. I didn't even question you. I believed nothing was going on between you two."

"It wasn't! It was one time and I'm so sorry. I don't know how to make it right-"

"You can't Rocky. There's no fucking way." He exploded.

I shook my head, tears welling up in them. "I don't accept that. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will never do it again."

"How can you say that if you don’t even know why you did it to begin with?” Brandon interrogated me.

“I know because I would never hurt you like that again. I don’t want to lose you. I can't.”

“You didn’t know that before you slept with him?”

"I wasn't thinking-"

"How convenient." He said bitter laugh.

"I am now. I will never let you out of my thoughts now. We can get past this." I promised. When he looked at me, incredulously, I continued. "It won't be easy, but we can. If we try."

He looked down at the ring before looking up at me. "That's the thing. I don't know if I want to."

I nodded, understandingly. He turned and went inside the apartment. I refused to cry. Crying meant it was over, and I wasn't going to allow that to happen.



 Jackie and I got ready to meet up with Peyton for a night out. I've never been into going out. In college, it was something I tolerated. I got used to it; dating a guy in a band, it came with the territory. When I first moved to Dallas, Jackie was working as an administrative assistant at the realtor that I worked for. She dragged me to bars and clubs all the time to meet new people.

As Jackie excitedly chatted about going out, and some guy she invited out, I thought about Brandon. He loved to go out too, but when I told him I didn't, he gladly traded nights out for nights in with me. Brandon always did what I wanted, no questions asked. I was a damned fool for losing him.

Not yet...

"You need to get over it. What did you think was gonna happen when you told him? If you wanted to be with him, you shoulda kept your mouth shut." Jackie exclaimed, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I rubbed my temples in annoyance. I had to continually remind myself why I was still friends with her; she constantly got on my nerves. Her company was better than being alone, so I got over it. Besides, she would act like a fool and would provide a welcomed distraction from my problems.

I let her pick out a dress for me and do my hair and make-up. We met up with Chris, Peyton and some of their friends at a bar. Once we got settled with drinks, Jackie took pictures of us and continued to play on her phone.

"Darrel is on his way! He has a cute friend..." Jackie said, hinting.

"No." I cut off that line of thinking immediately. I was in no mood to play nice with anyone.

"Yes. I'm not one of your lame friends who going to sit around and watch you mope. Forget about Brandon. There's plenty of guys out here."

"They are engaged!" Peyton exclaimed.

"Were." Jackie corrected her. When I glared at her, she shrugged. "You gave him back his ring-"

"You did?" Peyton asked me. I nodded.

"Look, being depressed isn't going to get him back. Let's just have fun!" Jackie ordered.

I didn't disagree or agree with her. I nursed my drink and made conversation with everyone. When Jackie's friends arrived, I was nice without encouraging the "friend". He got the hint and hit on another girl

I pulled out my phone to see if it was late enough to go home, when I saw I had a text from Brandon.

Brandon: I wanna c u

Me: Where are you?

Brandon: Grand Prairie. Come thru.

I told everyone good night after making sure Jackie had a ride home. I knew that Amber had rented a cabin a Joe Pool Lake, I just didn't know if they were camping with all the rain.

It was a 45 minute drive, and when I got there, I called Brandon. He didn't answer; he text me back instead.

Brandon: Where r u

Me: Outside the camp grounds. Where are you?

Brandon: On my way

I waited 15 minutes before he finally appeared. He got into the car and I could immediately tell he'd been drinking.

"Are you drunk?" I asked him.

"Not really. Why?" He asked, with a smile. It was the first time he smiled at me since I told him what happened. The fact that he was drunk took away from it.

"Are you going to remember what we talk about?" I prodded, gently.

"I don't wanna talk." He said, his smoldering gaze raked over my body in my dress.

"What do you wanna do?" I questioned, already knowing the answer.

"Let's get outta here and I'll show you."

"I don't know if that's a good idea-"

"I thought you wanted to make it up to me." Brandon interrupted me, finally looking in my eyes.

Without another word, I started the car and took off.

I was driving towards the interstate to go back to our house when he pointed out a La Quinta. I drove there instead, got out and got a room. I retrieved Brandon and led him up to the room. There was no doubt in my mind he was drunk when we made it to the bed. He clumsily attempted to remove my clothes. When I tried to help, he moved my hands away.

He gave up, and pushed my dress up my thighs. After removing my panties, he fumbled with a condom. I tried not to think about why he had one and enjoyed his fingers rubbing against me.

He stopped too soon and pushed inside me. I willed my body to relax as he thrust into me. He groaned out, "Mine" as he finished. He fell asleep shortly afterwards and I turned to face him before falling asleep too.


I woke up the next morning to Brandon getting dressed.

"Good morning." I greeted him, sitting up.

"Hey." He said, shortly, stepping into his shoes.

I cleared my throat and patted down my hair. "What are you doing today?"

"Hanging out by the lake weather willing." He said, never turning around to look at me.

"Ok, I'll take you back." I offered.

"No, a cab is on the way." Brandon replied, still standing by the door.

"Brandon. Can you sit down for a second?"

He did, focusing on the bed.

"I know last night didn't change anything, but I thought it meant you wanted to try." I started.

"I don't think I can. Do you know how stupid I feel? You had him around, in our house. You told me y'all were friends." Brandon said.

"I was the stupid one. I wasn't thinking, but he's not a part of my life anymore. You'll never have to worry about him." I declared.

He finally looked up and grabbed my phone. "Check it." He said, handing it to me.

"You went through my phone?" I asked him, disgusted. Is that what he thought of me now?

He stiffened. "I borrowed it to call a cab. Do you have something to hide?"

"No. I told you I'm being truthful with you." I said, going through my phone. I few missed calls from Peyton, my mom, and Jackie. I looked through my texts next.

Lily: Austin is getting the same bad weather as Houston. Bilal will be in Dallas until it's safe to fly back. Let me know if your family is ok.

I blanched. Dammit Lily!

"Tell me again that he's out of your life." Brandon demanded me.

"He is. I swear I haven't talked to him or seen him. I don't want anything to do with him. I want you. I love you." I pleaded with him, grabbing his arm.

He shook me off. "I have to go." He said, getting up and leaving.

This time, I let a few tears escape from my eyes. I wasn't admitting defeat, just the end of the first round. I thought telling him the whole truth would help. The truth was supposed to set you free. I was free alright, but alone. I realized I was going to have to regroup. He still had some feelings for me, last night was proof. I hoped that was enough for him to try.

Money

***Regular storyline post. I decided to do a post with Rocky/Bilal's POV. Jordan and Amber will be featured more, but I'm not quite ready to get into their heads. Rocky's and Bilal's were tough enough. Hopefully I'll get theirs up sometime this weekend.***




"Money, get away
Get a good job with more pay and you're O.K.
Money, it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream,
Think I'll buy me a football team
Money, get back
I'm all right, Jack, keep your hands off of my stack.
Money, it's a hit
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit
I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet
Money, it's a crime
Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie
Money, so they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that they're giving none away" Money by Pink Floyd 



Jordan, Corey, Sammy, Trevor, Bilal and I arrived back in Dallas Monday evening. As soon as we turned our phones on, we were bombarded with flash flood warning alerts. Houston and Austin got worse storms than us, but there were some areas that were flooding. Thankfully, it wasn't dangerous in our areas, so everyone was able to get home safely.

I tried to call Rocky at the airport to let her know I was on my way to pick up Justine, but she didn't answer. As I text her, I told Trevor to just drop me off at my apartment and I'd meet him at his place after I picked up Justine.

"I'll just drive you there." Trevor said as we made our way to his car.

I shook my head no and nodded at Bilal. "Rocky will flip out."

"I'll park down the street. She won't even know we're there." Trevor said, with a grin.

"No. I need my car anyway when you go to work tomorrow." I said.

"Don't remind me." He groaned.

After Trevor dropped me off to get my car, I headed to Rocky's place. I knocked before I let myself in. I was surprised when the house was empty, excluding Justine. I heard her collar jingling before she greeted me in the hallway. I bent down and petted her before I grabbed her things. I also saw an envelope with my name on it. I picked it up and slid it in my purse. I sent Rocky another text before I gathered Justine's things and locked up.

I then drove to Trevor's place. I let Justine and myself in. Justine immediately rushed to Trevor to get affection before going to Bilal next.

"Hey, are y'all hungry?"

"On it. Pizza's on it's way." Trevor said.

I made a face, but didn't say anything. I guess technically it was still a holiday weekend, but my mind frame was already back on finding a job and looking fit for my interview. I went into the kitchen and filled Justine water bowl and food bowl before grabbing myself a glass of ice cold water.

The pizza arrived while I was finishing the glass. I drank another glass as Trevor and Bilal joined me in the kitchen. I drank one more as Trevor grabbed plates.

"Thirsty Lily?" Bilal asked me.

"Something like that." I smiled. Truthfully, it was how I tricked my body until thinking I was full. It didn't take much food to get that "stuffed" feeling after 3 glasses of water.

I grabbed one slice of Bilal's chicken BBQ pizza. We sat and ate and chatted about how much everyone changed over the years. When I finished my slice of pizza, I uploaded pictures and videos of our trip on Instagram and  Facebook. I also added Brooke and Angela as friends, after I changed my status to "in a relationship" with Trevor.

"I thought we weren't serious enough for Facebook." Trevor smiled when he got the notification.

"We survived two trips, we're gonna make it." I smiled back.

"Nope, it was Brooke and all those questions. She's marking her territory." Bilal joined in.

"No I'm not. I'm not threatened by her." I said.

"You shouldn't be, besides I think she's getting back with her kid's dad." Trevor commented taking a huge bite of pizza. The water wasn't working. I wanted more.

"What? She has a kid?"I asked.

"Yeah, that's all she ever posts about. I almost hid her from my news feed last year when she keep posting about her pregnancy." Bilal answered for Trevor as he chewed on his pizza. He was on his third slice, with a beer, and still had a flat stomach. I hated him at that moment.

"We're not friends. How old is the baby?" I asked.

"I don't know." Bilal replied

I looked at Trevor.

"I'm not sure either. Less than a year."

"What? She left her newborn to go on vacation?" I asked, shocked.

"Apparently it was the dad's weekend." Bilal chucked, standing up to get more pizza.

"Do you know what's up with the dad?" I asked Trevor.

"Not really. They're off and on a lot." Trevor shrugged.

"How do you know that?" I asked, curiously.

"She posts all their problems on Facebook." Trevor said, standing too.

"Kinda weird she didn't bring it up." I said.

"She did; you weren't paying attention." Trevor commented.

Whatever.

"What kind of pizza do you want?" He asked, grabbing my empty plate.

"I'm good." I told him. "Thanks though."

He looked at me, skeptically. "You sure? There's plenty."

"No, I'm kinda tried. I think I'm going to head out." I declined.

"You're not going to stay here?" He asked.

"No, I was going to let y'all have boy time. Whatever that entails." I smiled.

"Please don't. He's gonna try to cuddle with me if your not here." Bilal said, rejoining us.

Trevor chuckled. "I'd rather cuddle with you Lilypad, but if you leave, I have no choice."

"Fine, I'll stay." I laughed. I still gave them their guy time as I opened up the letter that was address to me. As soon as I saw what was inside, I pulled out my phone and walked into the kitchen.

"Hello?" Ethan answered.

"Ethan, you are not paying my lawyer fees." I said, setting down the check I wrote out to him.

"I'm not. My company has an account with him." Ethan replied.

"I'll make out a check to your office."

"Don't do that. You want to get me in trouble?"

I honestly couldn't tell if he was kidding or serious.

"Ethan, I can't accept it. You helped me enough."

"Just hold on to it. It can go towards whatever you're buying for EJ's birthday." I could tell he was joking now.

"Thanks, I only have one more payment on his pony." I teased.

"Are you back to work tomorrow?"

"Yes, and no. Technically yes, because I was reinstated, but I put in my two weeks notice so I'm using the rest of my vacation time."

"After your vacation?"

"I don't know. I don't have a job lined up yet." I lamented.

"What's your plan?" Ethan asked.

"Find a job." I chuckled, caving as I ate another slice of pizza.

"I meant, money wise." Ethan clarified.

"I have money saved up for the time being. I'm moving in with Trevor at the end of my lease." I explained.

He was silent for a moment. "Congratulations?" He said, uncertainly.

I tittered. "Thanks Ethan."

"I'm genuinely happy for you if that's what you want to do."

"I do. I'm so happy to be moving in with him. At the same time, I can't help but be disappointed in myself. When I was 18, no- even like a year ago, if you would have asked me if I had a stable career or a stable relationship, I would have said career. It's just... weird. In a bad way."

"I guarantee you that if it was the other way around, you would want a relationship." Ethan responded.

"Maybe."

"It's easy to get caught up in what you don't have. If I learned anything, it's to appreciate what you have."

"I know, and I do appreciate Trevor. I would appreciate having a job to support myself too." I said.

"I didn't mean just appreciating Trevor. You have a degree and you went to graduate school. Appreciate and use it to get a job" Ethan said.

"All that doesn't matter if I can't get a callback." I pointed out.

"Why are you waiting around for one? Call them." Ethan instructed me.

"I put in applications. I thought I was supposed to wait." I protested.

"It won't hurt to follow up with them. That sets applicants apart in my eyes. There are three types of people in the world: The type that make things happen, watch things happen and asked what happened. Which are you?"

I smiled. "I'll get on it tomorrow then. Thanks for the advice Ethan."

"Anytime. Let me know if you need anything." He offered.

"I will. Goodnight."

I threw away my remaining crust of pizza and left the kitchen. I found Trevor and Bilal sitting on the couch, talking quietly.

"I'm going to bed guys. Goodnight." I told them.

"Night." Bilal said.

"Goodnight." Trevor said, watching me. I leaned over the couch to give him a kiss before I retired to bed with Justine.

The next morning, I woke up to an empty bed. Trevor must had came in and left that morning without waking me. I got up and took Justine on a long run. My body was sore, but it felt good after not really working out over the weekend.

When I returned back to Trevor's apartment, Bilal was up and in the kitchen.

"Hey, good morning." I said, cheerfully before heading in the bedroom. I washed up quickly and changed into clean clothes before joining Bilal on the couch.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked.

"Good."

"Don't tell Trevor that. In fact, complain about how uncomfortable it was."

"Why?" Bilal smiled.

"Because I wanna keep my furniture and get rid of his." I said.

I pulled out my phone and checked the weather and my email.  I read through them as I sat with Bilal as he flipped through TV channels. I made a point not to worry about a job while I was in Mexico. Ethan's call was like a slap of reality. I was discouraged when I didn't receive any emails or calls from Derek or Adil.

"Did Rocky tell you if her family was alright?" Bilal asked, as he stopped on the news.

"Uh, no. I haven't spoken to her yet. She wasn't there when I went over last night." I said, not looking up from my phone as I read an email for a job I applied to. It was one of those automatic response saying they were looking over my application.

"You think she's alright?" Bilal interrupted my thoughts.

"She commented on Angela's post this morning, so alright enough to be on Facebook." I said, putting down my phone. I ran my fingers through my hair. "I told her you were in town. It's probably the reason she's avoiding me."

"I gotcha." Bilal said, emotionless.

I bit my lip, nervously. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not at all."

I sighed in relief. "Thank God."

He smirked. "I'm ok with everything. I just want to know she's ok."

"You know Rocky. If she's not ok, she has a plan to get there."

"True." After a moment of silence, Bilal spoke again.

"The storms passed through. It's supposed to get bad later on this week. If you don't mind giving me a ride to Enterprise, I'll get out of here." Bilal asked.

"The storms passed through here. They're still severe thunderstorm warnings in Austin until this evening, so I'll take you there later." I countered.

He cocked his head at me. "When did you get so bossy?"

"Life made me that way."

"Is that right?"

"Yep, there's three type of people in the world Bilal. The type that make things happen, watch things happen and asked what happened. I make things happen."

"Can you make breakfast happen?"

I laughed. "Go get changed and we can go."

"I meant you heating us  up some pizza. Or just cold, whichever you prefer. I'm not picky." Bilal said.

"You can help yourself. I'm officially off vacation and need to start getting my life in order." I said, dramatically.

"What does pizza have to do with that?" Bilal questioned me, as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Would you trust a fat physical therapist?" I called to him.

"You are nowhere close to fat." Bilal called back.

"Exactly. That means no more pizza. At least not until I get a job." I sighed deeply.

"Are you stressing about it?" He asked, returning with a couple slices of cold pizza.

"I'm trying not to, but I really want a job before I move in with Trevor." I explained.

"I know Trevor's not making a big deal out of it."

"Of course not. He doesn't make a big deal out of anything. I have rent to pay, then I'll have to pay for storage and movers and my credit card bills. That's not including just living you know? I don't regret quitting, but I probably should have thought it through."

"Have you talked to Trevor about it?"

"Not really. It's... a touchy subject because my dad made some comments about him not being able to take care of me. Which I don't need him to do. In fact, I don't want him to. My dad and brother did; it just felt like another way for them to control me."

"Touchy or not, you need to talk to him."

"Hopefully I won't have to once I get a job. I need to follow up with some of them today and I don't even know what to say."

"That you want to check the status of your application. You want to see if the position is still open." Bilal suggested. "Duh. C'mon Lily, you're supposed to be the smart one." Bilal tsked at me.

"I know! Y'all rubbed off on me." I exclaimed.

"Call 3 of the jobs you applied to and I'll stay and cook dinner."

"Healthy?" I asked.

"It can be."

"Deal." I said.

I pulled out my phone and made my first call to a long term care hospital in Dallas. Their posting was the most recent so I figured they would be the less likely to have filed the position.

"May I speak to human resources please?" I asked.

"Hold please." The monotone voice answered.

"Confident! Put some bass in your voice." Bilal coached me from the couch. I swatted at him and hushed him as the phone rang. Voicemail picked up, so I left a brief message, stating my name, phone number and that I wanted to check on the status of an application I submitted online.

"Ok, that's one." I said.

"Doesn't count. You didn't speak to anyone."

"Bilal!" I exclaimed.

"That's the rules."

The next place I called was the Children's Hospital Derek worked at. I asked to speak to human resources again and got transferred. This time, a man answered the phone.

"Good morning. I recently applied for a physical therapist position and I just wanted to check in on it?" I said, as confidentially as I could mustered. Bilal gave me the thumbs up sign and I relaxed.

"Of course, what is your name?"

"Lilian Harris."

"Ok... I see we have your applications on file. Looks like we are accepting applications for a couple more weeks, but you should be receiving notice from us soon after that."

"Ok, thank you for your time." I said, politely.

I called the clinic that Adil worked for next. After being transferred, I spoke to the assistant of the hiring manger. The manger was in a meeting, but she offered to take a message.

"I recently applied for a physical therapist position and I wanted to make sure you all didn't need anything else from me."

"We are not hiring for physical therapist right now." She told me.

"Oh, ok. I spoke to Adil Fahri and I was excited about the possibility of joining the team, I didn't realize y'all weren't hiring yet. Thank you for your time-"

"I'm sorry, what was your name?" She interrupted me.

"Lily, Lilian Harris." I answered.

"Let me get your contact information."

I provided her my phone number and email address before I got off the phone.

The next call, I used the same line about being excited to be a member of the team. I was told I would get a call back by the end of the week.

"There you go." Bilal said, pleased. "Now we can go to the store."

"Give me 10 minutes. I want to make a few more calls." I smiled. I did and actually got an interview for the following Thursday. It was for an assisted living facility which I wasn't too excited about, but it was better than nothing!

I was in a much better mood as Bilal and I went shopping. He wanted to go to Whole Foods, so we did.

"How does sushi sound?" He asked.

"Since when do you know how to make sushi?" I asked.

"Since I took a class."

 "When did you take a sushi class?"

"On a date."

"You're dating? Who?" I asked.

"No one exclusive. A couple of girls I met off Tinder."

"People actually date on Tinder? I thought it was a double tap and you have a girl on your dick."

Bilal laughed at me. "You swipe on Tinder, and you gotta take em out at least once. The better the date, the better the-."

"Ohmygod Bilal. Stop talking!" I said, covering my ears.

Since Trevor wasn't a fan of sushi and I couldn't eat sushi without comparing it to what I ate in Japan, we decided against it.

"I feel like you shouldn't know how to make sushi when you can't make curry." I told him as we walked up and down the aisle.

"How stereotypical of you considering I never tried any Latin or French food you cooked."

"I make tacos and French toast all the time." I informed him.

"I can make both of those. Even if I could make curry, Trevor wouldn't eat it."

"I'm not concern about Trevor. He didn't make any phone calls."

"I have an idea." He grabbed a Garam Masala spice mix. "Noorie used this all the time. We can season some chicken or shrimp with this, get some tortillas-."

"Indian tacos!" I agreed. "We can shred some cabbage and get some yogurt. This is gonna be so good! Fusion!" I said, holding up my hand for a hi-five. He left me hanging, laughing at me. "Punk!" I shoved him playfully. As we shopped, I asked about Noorie.

"She couldn't get over what I did. I don't blame her. That's why I'm dating strangers; no more messing up friendships." Bilal confessed.

"Aww, can I give you some relationship advice?" I asked.

"Let's hear it."

"Don't base future relationships on mistakes you made in the pass. You gotta leave the past in the past man."

"The same can be said about you." He said.

When I gave him a crazy look, he explained. "You really think Trevor's going to control you just because you're not working?" Bilal asked.

"Of course not. That's my hang up."

"Leave it in the past man." He said, mocking me.

I smiled. "As soon as you get off Tinder. Online dating is lame."

"It's not really online dating. It's through Facebook."

"Same thing!"

"There's a difference. Subtle, but different."

"Keep telling yourself that."


Trevor called and asked us to come have lunch with him. Afterwards, we went back to Trevor's apartment. I took a nap with Justine before waking up and helping Bilal cook. By helping, I meant watching him while I played on his Tinder. I looked through girl's profiles and swiped left and right for him.

"Oh my God, this is so ridiculous. I've never seen so many boobs in my life!"

"You know what the sad thing about it is? The ones with their boobs hanging out never answer back."

"Maybe your pick up lines are lame?"

"My pick-up lines are genius. Backhanded compliments."

"You're so stupid." I laughed. I got off his phone to chop up the topping for our tacos. I played my cooking playlist as we worked.

"Ok, I get positivity and love. What is this song doing on it?" Bilal asked me, talking about Pink Floyd's Money.

"Ok. Has Trevor made you watch Dark Side of The Rainbow?" I asked.

Bilal laughed. "Yes. Wizard of Oz while listening to Dark Side of the Moon. It was bizarre. Do you think it matched up?"

"I don't know-"

"How could you not?"

"Let me finish the story. So he's all excited and makes me watch it and I'm thinking to myself, 'It's The Wizard of Oz. This kid is so weird. Why do I love him so much?'"

"Aww-" Bilal said, with a gaging face.

"That was the first time I realized it was more than a crush. I loved him; I spent the rest of the movie trying to convince myself I didn't. Then Money came on and he started dancing like the lollipop guild and I remembered thinking I want him to be the father of my kids. I had to admit to myself how much I loved him." I laughed.

"You know he loves you that much too?"

"I know." I nodded.

"I don't think you do: You're everything to him. He wants- no needs, you to feel the same."

Before I could respond, Trevor came home. I gave him hug and a long kiss.

"Oh-oh. What did you do?" He asked, holding me against him.

"Nothing. I just love and appreciate you so much." I smiled at him. "Wanna watch Darkside of The Rainbow tonight?"

"Yes." He smiled at me.

We set up our mini taco bar, which Trevor loved, and set up the movie and music.

This time, snuggled against Trevor, I saw the two separate works of art blend together perfectly.