You've Got a Friend

*I apologize for the lateness and errors. Will correct later on today.



"When you're down in troubles
And you need some love and care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon i will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there
Yes I will
You've got a friend" You've Got a Friend James Taylor version 

We got back into to town Sunday night with J-Mike. Yes, J-Mike. He was still job hunting and decided to check out Dallas as well. I'm sure it had more to do with him and Jordan hooking up, but whatever. Thankfully, he spent the night at Tori's place with Jordan.

I called Forrest Monday after I went grocery shopping to plan to meet up. Forrest had nothing lined up for the summer since the wedding didn't happen, so he was available to meet me whenever. I picked Tuesday so I wouldn't have time to drive myself crazy over analyzing it.

I barely beat rush hour traffic and made it to the BBQ place Forrest told me about. It was in downtown Dallas, but I found the restaurant with the help of my GPS. I was only 15 minutes late.

I didn't see Forrest as I searched the long ass line outside the restaurant as I made my way to the door. I hoped he was towards the front of the line. I could smell the smoke from the BBQ pit before I even went through the door. As good as it smelt, I had no desire to wait in the hellacious long line for it.

When I finally pushed inside the restaurant, I was dismayed that I didn't see Forrest anywhere. I pulled out my phone to call him, hoping he was just late and didn't stand me up.

"I'm on the patio." Forrest told me when I asked where he was. I hung up and found the door to the enclosed patio. I saw Forrest immediately at a table and made my way over.

"Look at you." He said eying my black scrubs as he stood up to greet me.

"Look at you!" I repeated with a grin, nervously. I didn't know whether I should hug him, and he didn't make a move to hug me.

"You have hair!" I exclaimed when we just stood and looked at each other gawkily. I kept my hands to myself and resisted the urge to rub his head playfully to break some of the tension.

"Yeah, I do." he said, offering me a seat.

I took the seat across from where he was sitting. "Normally when people go bald, it's thinning, or receding or balding. I figured that's why you cut it all off." I blabbered as I examined him. He looked good. Honestly, he always did. He was a guy and attractive: it didn't take much. I don't know what I was expecting.

"I decided to try something different." He said, sheepishly while he rubbed his hair.

"I love it." I said, with an approving nod.

"Thanks." He said, looking down at the food.

Awkward.

I followed his glance. "Did you order enough food?" I said with a smile, motioning to the huge spread in front of us.

He smiled back, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I order the trough so I could go through the express line and I wasn't sure what you wanted. We can take home what we don't finish." He explained.

I shook my head. "No way, I had a protein bar for lunch in preparation for BBQ. This looks perfect. I accept the challenge." I joked.

"Well dig in." He chuckled.

In dig in we did. Over ribs, brisket, pulled pork, jalapeno sausage, macaroni cheese, baked beans, fried okra and rolls we caught up. He asked about my new job and what happened at my old job and I filled him in. I asked him if he still was in contact with Darren and he was and told me he was already in Waco. I told him about my 4th of July and he told me about playing wingman for Blake.

I had to take a break from eating because my stomach protested. When I stopped eating and watched him, there was another uneasy silence. He asked me what else was new so I spent that time telling him about my friends and Trevor. He stopped eating to listen.

"You can eat." I told him.

"I really can't. I'm hitting a wall. I have a new respect for competitive eaters." He groaned.

I laughed at him.

"I'm serious. I always thought I could be one."

"It was the bread and the soda. We should have skipped them." I pointed out.

"That blueberry soda was the best soda I tasted." Forrest disagreed.

"Yeah, fine. No bread." I conceded.

"What else would we have sopped the sauce with?"

I held up my hands and wiggled my fingers, spirit finger style. Forrest shook his head and I grinned. "The meat was so good, sauce was not necessary."

"No, but I prefer it." Forrest said.

"Obviously, you're saving some for later." I teased, pointing at some sauce on his light blue shirt.

Forrest looked down. "You just can't see anything on you black shirt."

"Exactly why I didn't change." I laughed.

Forrest nodded and started to pack up the food. I did the same.

He looked up at me when we finished. "Thanks for joining me."

"Anytime." I said, sincerely.

"This was the first conversation I had were someone wasn't asking stupid questions, pitying me or giving me advice, so I appreciate it." He said, with a little smile.

"Now that you bring it up, I do have a stupid question." I started.

The little smile disappeared and he looked up at me, wearisomely.

"The cake. What happened to it?" I asked.

Forrest looked confused. "The cake?"

"Wedding cake? Y'all didn't just throw it away?"

Recognition set in Forrest face before he burst into laughter.

"You're concerned about the cake?!?" He asked, when his laughs subsided.

"I know you're going to be ok. There's a lot of fish in the sea. It's always darkest before the dawn. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. What I don't know is what happened to the cake." I smiled.

He cleared his throat. "Thanks Brian." I giggled when he caught on to my Family Guy reference."People hung out for the reception. I didn't."

I nodded.

"I didn't save any cake though. They have peach cobbler if you want dessert." Forrest offered with a genuine smile.

"Urgh, I can't eat another bite. Challenge failed."

After we divided our food, Forrest walked me to my car.

"I missed you Forrest. I hate the reason why we can be friends again, but I'm glad that we can." I told him as we walked.

"I missed you too. I want you to know, even if everything didn't happened, I never intended for us not to be friends permanently."

"I understand. I've been there." I said, remembering putting the breaks on my friendship with Ethan to appease Jake. "I hate to sound cliche, but how are you doing? For real?"

"I'm taking it day by day." He answered. "I'm ok right now."

"That's half the battle." I said once we got to my car.

"I'll talk to you soon." He said, giving me a hug.

"You better!" I smiled, hugging him back before I left.

Trevor knew about my plans to meet up with Forrest, so he made plans to get dinner with J-Mike and Corey. I texted Trevor that I made it home before checking my other texts.

Ethan invited me to Six Flag. With it being a family outing, I wasn't sure if Rocky was going and I didn't want to risk it. I declined, but told him to tell EJ to ride every ride for me.

I saw I had a text from Christian. I deleted it without even reading it. I called Amber and we caught up on each others 4th of July. She told me how fun and drama free the Carters' BBQ was but told me their Uncle Ray missed my presence. I didn't ask about Rocky but I told her about Jordan and Derek and J-Mike being in town. Amber told me we should get together Wednesday after Six Flags for drinks. I told her I wasn't going, but was down for a drink.

"Ok. I gotta head out for work. I'll talk to you later." Amber said.

"Bye. Have a good one."

When I got off the phone, I saw I had a text from Ethan.

Ethan: I'm not telling him that unless you're going be there to ride with him.

Me: I would! I believe in getting my monies worth...

Ethan: I believe in not spending hours in line.

Me: That's gonna happen regardless. Have fun! Take lots of pictures!

Trevor called me after the sun went down and I was taking Justine on a run. He told me they were all out if I wanted to join them. Sweaty and tired, I declined and told him I would see him later. Later turned out to be 2 in the morning when Trevor woke me up, climbing into bed and dry humping my leg.

"Not happening." I grumbled, not even opening my eyes and turning away from his groping hands.

"Lilypad, just in and out. 2 minutes-" Trevor begged.

"As much fun as that sounds for me, no." I denied him.

I wasn't sure how much time past before a pulsing between my legs woke me up. I cried out as Trevor pressed my vibrator against my sensitive, aroused clitoris. I opened my eyes and pulled Trevor closer.

"So you'll wake up for Twist, but not for me?" Trevor said, sucking on my neck.

"Shut up and come fast." I demanded, pulling him on top off me.

"I love it when you talk dirty to me." He laughed, before pushing inside of me. He left the vibrator against my clitoris and we both came quickly. He gathered me in his arms before we fell back asleep.

I returned Trevor's favor of walking me up in the middle of the night by blasting my music loudly the next morning. Normally, I would get up, change quietly so he could sleep in and would wake him when it was his turn. He woke up to me jamming to Drake as I picked out my work clothes.

"Call in for me." Trevor groaned.

"Nope, wake your ass up. That's what you get for turning up on a Tuesday." I sang along to the music while getting dressed. After I pulled on my shirt, I saw Trevor watching me closely.

"What?" I asked, wiping the side of my face. That's what he was staring at.

"Um, I might have gave you a hickey last night." Trevor said.

"You did not!" I exclaimed, heading to the mirror. "You better be joking."

"Sorry Lilypad."

I groaned as I saw it. I didn't say anything and headed to the bathroom. I ignored Trevor in silent protest as I did my make-up to cover the mark.

I got strange looks when I went to work. The only make-up I normally wore was maybe concealer if I had a blemishes or pimples and chapstick. When I got home from work, I changed and started cooking dinner.

I finished cooking and had the plates ready when Trevor strolled through the door with J-Mike.

"Awww, Lily's all domesticated." J-Mike said grinning.

"Ha ha, not for you. Make your own plate." I told him.

"Don't mind if I do." J-Mike said, going into the kitchen. Trevor handed me a container of chocolate covered strawberries.

"Do you forgive me?" He asked.

I smirked. I was over my annoyance by the time I left for work, but I wasn't turning down chocolate. "You said the magic words- chocolate covered anything." I gave him a kiss before we sat down.

J-Mike joined as at the table and we ate.

"What is this?" J-Mike asked.

"Chicken Georgia with yellow rice. You took Trevor's that had no mushrooms." I told him.

"Dinner on the table, cooked just right. Looks like formal fat girls are the way to go. Nice Trevor!" J-Mike commented.

"Shut the fuck up!" I exclaimed, at the same time Trevor told him to "Knock it off."

J-Mike just laughed over his mouthful of food.

"Where did y'all end up going last night?" I asked.

"Redneck Heaven." Trevor answered.

"You should have came. It was A.B.C night." J-Mike grinned.

"What is that?" I asked, confused.

"Anything But Clothes. The waitresses wear body paint, flowers, feathers, glitter. One was even dressed up with a golf green bikini and a hole in one on her hole in one." J-Mike explained, with a pleased smile. Trevor tried to hold his laughter. I kicked him under the table. "It was great."

"Sounds great." I muttered, thinking about how excited Trevor was when he came home. I narrowed my eyes at him. He just smiled.

"Don't worry. I got all the numbers." J-Mike continued.

"You got one girl's number." Trevor countered.

I rolled my eyes. It was like college all over again. "Didn't you have a job interview in Austin? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you." I smiled, changing the subject.

"Eh, don't worry about it. I see why Trevor turned it down." J-Mike shrugged.

What the fuck?

"I didn't turn it down." Trevor said, quickly. "I turned down an interview."

"It's out of Austin?" I questioned.

Trevor nodded.

"When did you get the offer?" I asked.

"Last month." Trevor answered.

I ate in silence as I thought it over. When and why did he apply for a job in Austin?

J-Mike must have picked up on my mood, because he hurried up to finish and left to meet up with Jordan.

Trevor walked him out and I started to clean the kitchen, trying to stay as calm as possible so we could talk. When he came in the kitchen, he explained.

"Remember that company that wanted to buy Kenji's site?" He started.

I nodded.

"Christopher Diaz emailed me. He's looking for an assistant. I forwarded the application to J-Mike."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I was going to tell you-"

"That's a common thing with you. You were going to tell me-" I interrupted.

"But you were so excited about your interview with your job and you were acting so weird about moving in. I didn't want you to worry." Trevor continued over me.

I paused. I probably would have freaked out knowing how I was acting back then. I couldn't blame him for not telling me then. "You could have mentioned it to me later." I said, folding my arms.

"Fair enough." Trevor said, plainly. "I told Christopher I wasn't interested."

"How could you know you're not interested if you didn't take the interview?"

"It's in Austin." He said, simply. "It wouldn't matter if I'm interested because it's not here. "

"Did J-Mike tell you about the job?" I ignored him. Trevor nodded. "Is it assistant stuff like fetching coffee?"

Trevor shook his head. "From J-Mike's understanding, he would be taking over some of Christopher's responsibilities. He doesn't want to do as much traveling."

"Is that something you're interested in?" I asked.

"Not really. I'm comfortable coding."

"I thought that's how Christopher started off too."

"It is, but his main focus is bringing in apps and sites he can build off and grow. He has a team that works on the coding."

"And J-Mike doesn't want that?"

"He doesn't have the patience for it. Could you imagine him trying to persuade someone who doesn't want to sale or change?"

"No, but I could see you doing it." I replied.

"Lily-" Trevor sighed.

"Look, we don't have a house nor do we have to be committed to Dallas. If the job is still available, you should at least interview for it."

"And what about your job?" He asked.

"Don't worry about that. We'll cross that bridge if we get there." I replied.

"Ok... do I need to get you more chocolate or are we good?" Trevor smiled

"It depends. What else are you not telling me?" I asked.

"I do have a confession. Something that I found out awhile go." He started.

I looked at him, worried.

"Well, it goes against everything I thought growing up." He said, wrapping his arms around me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"From a young age, I always believed I was a boob guy. Now, I think I'm an ass guy." He said, squeezing my butt.

"Really? I heard you were an A.B.C. guy?" I said, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Only on you. Let me show you." He said, leading me towards the bedroom.

I laughed and let him show me.



After work on Wednesday, I went home and showered and changed before heading to the Fox and the Hound to hang with our friends. I invited Forrest but he had a flag football practice. When I found out he was playing and not being an athletic trainer, I demanded he send me his game schedule so I could watch one.

I joined Amber, Dino, Jordan, Tori, Q, Trevor, Chris, Corey, and J-Mike at the bar. We ordered food and drinks and split up to play pool or hang by the bar. Amber and I sat and she showed me pictures of Six Flags.

I made a face at J-Mike as he and Trevor threw darts together. As always, he was making a fucking scene. Jordan was cheering him on so he kept going.

"I'm taking a wild guess here and saying you don't like J-Mike." Amber questioned me.

"Urgh! He just annoys me. Trevor acts super childish when he's around." I complained.

"They're just having fun. Trevor's always been like that." Amber smiled.

"He gave me a hickey and stayed out late when he had to be at work. He reminds me of college when Trevor was just a dumbass. I'm afraid he's gonna convert back." I explained.

"He has you to rein him in. He'll be alright." Amber said, patting my hand. "I have something to ask you."

"Shoot."

"Would you feel comfortable with me reaching out to Rocky?" She asked.

I looked at her and shrugged. "Do whatever you want."

"I'm serious Lily. Brandon and Rocky are so dysfunctional. I want to be there for her. He's treating her so wrong-"

"Amber." I cut her off. "I don't care if you want to be friends with her. This is not middle school- you don't have to dislike her because we're not friends. I just don't care to hear about her or their relationship." I said.

"Ok. Rocky asked about you. Let me know if you change your mind about wanting to know how she's doing."

I nodded, but I knew I wasn't going to change my mind. I didn't bring me any pleasure that Brandon was treating her wrong but I couldn't feel sympathy either since she fought to keep a relationship with him and cut me off. Whatever going on between the two of them was no longer my business or concern. I was staying out of it.

Twisted (Forrest's POV)

"But I gotta be strong
Did me wrong
When I thought we were really down
So you say you want me
Make up your mind 
Cuz I'm not gonna be here for long
Baby, baby in time
Baby I know you'll find
That what you needed was here
Think about it my dear
You know you are my lover
You got me twisted over you
I know I got what you need
So what you wanna do?" Twisted by Keith Sweat 


***Forrest's Perspective***


The non-stop beating on my apartment door is what finally made me get off the couch- I've been sitting there all damn day. The TV on ESPN was just background noise- I had no idea what was playing. A pizza box, chips, Almond Joy candy wrappers, a bottle of Wild Turkey, beers, and a package of cigarettes littered the coffee table. My place was in no condition to have anyone over. I was in no condition to have anyone over.

The week before, every time there was a knock on the door or a call on my phone, I would race to answer it, thinking it might be Rachel. After I chased Rachel to Florida, I realized she wasn't coming back.  I've been in a funk every since. The banging continued, this time with Blake's voice booming over the knocks.

"C'mon man. I saw your 4runner. Open the door!" He yelled.

I hurried up and got my ass off the couch to open the door before my neighbor heard. She could hear a rat piss on cotton. The only reason she no longer gave me dirty looks was I always helped her with her shopping bags and informed her when I was having people over. I didn't need her poking her head out. Then I would have to explain why I was still here, even though I told her I was moving out after I got married...

Shaking my head as if it would rid me of all thoughts of that humiliating shitty day, I looked down at my t-shirt and shorts, trying to remember the last time I changed.

"Oh well, I just have to get rid of Blake" I thought to myself as I opened the door. Blake pushed passed me, making his way into my apartment.

"I didn't invite you in." I grunted, closing the door.

"I told you I was coming over if you didn't answer your phone. You brought this on yourself." Blake replied, before his face twisted up. "It stinks in here. Like cigarettes, stale ass and Cheetos-"

I ignored him and walked towards my room. I retrieved the phone I tossed in there earlier after I ordered a pizza. That was the only contact I wanted with anyone right now: ordering and delivering food. I looked through the missed calls and text.

Blake, Damien, Tommy, Carmichael, my half sister Eliza, my mom, and surprisingly, my father. I read through Blake's text, ignoring everyone else.

Blake: Answer your phone or I'm coming over.

When I returned back in the living room, Blake was trashing everything on my table.

"Hold up-" I snarled, rushing over to save my companions: Cigarettes, food and alcohol.

"Hold up some shit. This is foul. I get being depressed, but this is too much."

I was able to save my Wild Turkey, beer, cigarettes and Funyons and plopped back on the couch. I lit up my cigarette and took a deep drag.

"How are you a health teacher, but you're back smoking?" Blake commented.

"I'll quit again before school starts." I exhaled, letting the nicotine do its thing. Blake was right- I kicked the habit back in college when I first started dating Rachel. She detested smokers. I was willing to do anything just to have a chance with her back then.

Who am I kidding? I still would...

"How you doing?" Blake asked, interrupting my nagging thoughts and tossing the trash bag aside.

A throbbing pain return to my head and I took another puff of my cigarette. I wished everyone would stop asking me that. That was the opening line since Rachel crushed my heart and future in front of almost 200 of our nearest and dearest. Immediately after she left me, I convinced myself she just had cold feet. The week before our wedding I felt nothing but stress, anxiety and nerves. I thought the stress of the day was too much for her and that's why she ran.

 I found out in Florida I was wrong. As soon as her dad let it slip she was at their Florida home, I took the next flight out. I told Rachel we didn't need a big wedding. We could find a justice of the peace and start our life together. I felt like shit when she turned me down. Really, I felt less than shit- I felt like nothing.

That's how I was doing. I was embarrassed humiliated, hurt and pissed the fuck off. Worst than that, I was rejected. What did I do now that the woman I built my future around left me? After I did everything I could possible do to make her happy, it still wasn't enough. What was I supposed to say?

"Great." I grumbled, grabbing my bourbon. I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to feel anything. I wanted to be numb. The alcohol had been working it's magic on me for the last week. I drank a swig of straight from the bottle and swallowed it down with the remainder of a beer.

"Since you're doing so great, come hang with your boys. Stop drinking alone like a sad little bitch." Blake said, taking the bottle from me.

"I am a sad little bitch." I replied, grabbing the bottle back.

"No, you dodged the bitch-" Blake started.

"Don't call her that." I cut him off, sharply.

"Fine. Rachel-"

Pain sliced through me like a knife. "Don't say her name either." I took another swig of Wild Turkey.

"Ok... I'm just worried about you, that's all. I get that you need time, but I'm here for you man. Don't bottle all this shit up and try to drink it away. It don't work like that." Blake said, sincerely.

"Are you gonna kiss me? Cause I'm not into the broke back mountain stuff." I joked, lightly, but put the bottle down.

"Ha ha. I'm not into you being a bitch. I don't know which bitch version of you is worst- depressive my life is over or the castrated about to get married bitch. Now that she's gone, I want the old Forrest back." Blake remarked.

I replayed his words. Yeah, I knew I needed to break out of my funk, but it's been 2 weeks since she gave me the dreaded, it's me, not you spiel. The first week I rarely left my bed- At least now I was in a vertical position. I deserved to be miserable for awhile but was I really a bitch leading up to our failed nuptials?

I had to admit, the months leading up to wedding, I changed. I went along with anything she wanted regarding the last minute details on the wedding. The wedding stop being what I wanted a long time ago and I didn't want to stress her anymore. When she complained about the way I ate, I went on a diet with her. When her dad questioned why we would buy another house if she wanted to keep the house she grew up in, I told her we can live in her house. I no longer hung out with my friends because every second was spent catering to her.

They weren't permanent changes. After we got back from our honeymoon, things were going to return to normal. I would hang with my friends again. I was still looking at houses located between our jobs. The commute to my job from Ft. Worth was brutal. Before the next school year, we would be in our own house even if she wanted to keep her house. The diet was ending at the reception-well, officially ending. I cheated all the time when Rachel wasn't around. I figured we could have the wedding we wanted in the form of a vow renewal on our 10, 25 or 50th anniversary. Every change I made was to make things as easy as possible for her. Now I was left wondering if she didn't like those changes. Maybe that's why she had a change of heart...

"-You need to get your balls back and man up. She's done- you have no other choice but to move on." Blake continued on.

"Alright." I muttered, straighten up.

"I am?" Blake said, surprised. "I am!" He repeated, this time more confidently.

He was right. Rachel wasn't coming back to this version of me. I had to be the guy she wanted to marry- not the mopey or pushover guy I turned into. That's what she meant when she said she didn't want this life. No wonder she ran. She coulda just talked to me, but at least I got it now.

"So we're going out tonight?" Blake said, excitedly.

"No man, not tonight." I replied.

"What? You just agreed with me." Blake said, disappointed.

"I gotta handle some business first." I told him, standing up to usher him out.

"Like what?" He said, skeptically.

"Clean up, haircut, laundry. Basically, return back to the land of the living. Then we can go out." I said.

"You're right. Take about 3 showers. Maybe a bath with some bleach too." Blake laughed on his way out.

"Thanks for the pep talk." I said, dryly.

"Anytime."



I didn't go out with Blake, but I did spend the week as Blake put it, getting my balls back. Rachel's parents took care of all of the after wedding stuff like sending gifts back so I focused on myself. I cleaned up my apartment and myself, slowed down on all the take out and booze, threw out my last pack of cigarettes and got out of the apartment. I rejoined the flag football league that consisted of coaches from the school district, helped with the mud run by getting people registered, and started looking at houses.

It still hurt when I thought about Rachel, but I let it motivate me to be the guy she wanted to marry. By the end of the week, I agreed to drop by Gabriel's 4th of July bash. It felt unpatriotic not to go out and do something, and Blake threatened to bring the post party to my apartment if I didn't come out.

I studied myself in the mirror as I got ready to head to Gabriel's place. I examined my hair cut. Instead of getting my head shaved, I had a short fade. I started shaving my head when Tommy's father was going through chemotherapy. When I reconnected with Rachel at a Memorial Day BBQ, she told me how flattering it looked and made fun that I had more hair on my face than my head. Gone was the baby face I started sporting as a result of that comment. My mustache and beard were trimmed too. I liked my look a lot more now. I was never fond of the bald, newborn baby look even though Rachel preferred it.

I wore a Texas Ranger shirt and cargo khaki shorts. In the last few weeks, it felt like I put on the pounds I lost when I was dieting with Rachel. At 6'2, I was comfortable in the athletic, 250 pound range. I didn't have a cut body; I loved beer too much. If the trade off for abs was kale salad and no beer, I would never have them and I was fine with that. Rachel wanted me to eat better, but she never had a problem with my size. We were the perfect fit-

I stopped the thought of how her body felt beneath mine before my mind went to a place I didn't need to go. I gave myself one finally glance over before I left.

I drove to Gabriel's house, planning how long I would have to stay so I wouldn't look pathetic. A part of me was dreading having to face my friends. I didn't want the sympathy or pity or the dreaded "How are you doing?" or "What happened?" conversations. I thought about riding with Blake, but I didn't wanna be trapped there if I wanted to leave.

I parked and made my way to the backyard. Blake must have been watching and waiting for me to show up, because he made a big scene.

"There's my boy! Single for the first time in years ladies! Let's celebrate his freedom tonight!!!" He yelled with a goofy grin.

I burned with embarrassment as everyone cheered. That was one way to address the elephant in the room. The rest of my friends were cool. A few of them did ask me how I was doing, but they were fine with my generic answers and didn't press for more information. They were all understanding of my grieving, which made me feel like a dick for cutting them off.

I nursed a few beers, staying away from hard alcohol and ate the finger food. It was more picnic food than BBQ and I barely had an opportunity to eat because Blake kept bringing girls in my face.

I wasn't in the right mindset to entertain girls. I was still faithful to Rachel. I couldn't even think of hooking up with another girl when she was the only one I wanted. The flirty girls with their pointless conversations, pounds of make-up and clouds of perfume just made me miss Rachel more. Since I couldn't drink to forget, I politely excused myself from Blake and any girls he tried to set me up with.

I ran into Gabriel in the kitchen as I made another escape. I asked him how things were going and he sighed.

"We're hanging in there. Losing Rachel came out if nowhere and everyone is scrambling-"

"Losing Rachel?" I asked, stunned. "She's not on leave?"

Gabriel mouth set in a grim line. "No. She resigned. I'm sorry, I assumed you knew."

"It's cool. Excuse me." I said, going back outside. I grabbed another beer, not sure what that meant. Was she moving to Florida? She wasn't coming back?

The fireworks started and we looked out to the sky. There were at least 3 different shows going on so we had our pick. After my beer, curiosity got the best of me and I did what I avoided since Rachel left me: I got on Facebook.

I didn't want to see messages, posts or writings on my wall. I didn't want to hear about other's people problems or happiness. I had no patience for Facebook politics and other pointless nonsense. I couldn't handle updating my relationship status. Most of all, I didn't want to be stuck refreshing Rachel's page all day, to get a glimpse of what she was up to. Now, I couldn't help myself.

I went on her page and was disappointed to see no status change or update. I didn't look like she had been on Facebook either. I ignored my messages and started going through my feed. It was a long shot, but one of our mutual friends might have mentioned her...

I stopped on a nice picture of Lily and her boyfriend Trevor. That was another change I made that I planned to talk to Rachel about after the wedding. When Rachel told me she was no longer comfortable with me and Lily's friendship, I stopped talking to Lily. Partially to respect Rachel's wishes, but because I felt guilty too.

When Rachel first met Lily, I knew she was jealous. She played it off, but I knew. It felt good to spark that jealous in Rachel. She was never jealous of other women before and I enjoyed it. It was harmless because I was never attracted to Lily like that, but I didn't tell Rachel that. I messed up our friendship because I wanted my ego stroked. I was glad to see her relationship with Trevor was still going strong even though mine was nonexistent at the moment.

Blake sat beside me with no women this time and peaked over at my phone. He gave me a grin. "Can I text Lily? Let her know you're up and about?"

When Blake told me Lily reached out to him, I told him exactly what to say to her. At the time, I still believed it was just cold feet, and I still couldn't have Lily around. Thankfully, Lily got the hint. Now, I wasn't sure what to do. I missed her and our friendship, but I still had to think about Rachel.

"No. I'll talk to her when I'm ready. You know she has a boyfriend; lose her number and that creepy grin." I scolded Blake.

"I will as soon as you come out with me. I need a wingman. Now that you're back on the field, we can go hunting together. " Blake laughed.

I was ready to move forward, but not with anyone else. That would be like saying Rachel and I were over, and that wasn't happening. The thought of dating again made me wince.  No matter how I grew into my looks, there was still that chubby, shy loser who was terrified of girls. Everything about girls was intimidating and the fear of rejection made me stay away until they flocked to me when I played football in high school.

By the time I got to college, I leaned on my looks and football to get girls. Rachel was unimpressed by both. She was old-school and wanted to be pursued and wooed, so that's what I did. She made me work hard for every smile, date, and kiss, but it was well worth it. We stayed together throughout our undergraduate years, but broke up because I wasn't ready to commit to a long distance relationship.

When I moved back to Fort Worth, I was ready to settle down. When I reconnected with Rachel, I couldn't believe I let her go. I loved her just as much as I did in college. She made us date to get her to love me again, but she did and after a year, she agreed to marry me. I didn't want to start all over with someone new.

"I'll be your wingman, but that's it." I compromised with Blake.

"Works for me."

I followed Blake around and we chatted with girls. I really needed something stronger than beer to continue to make mindless conversations about nothing while Blake collected numbers. When he made his choice for the night, I pulled out my phone. I wanted my friend back that I could talk without it feeling like work.

Me: Happy Independence Day Lily

I was climbing in my car after saying goodbye to everyone when my phone beeped.

LaLa: Happy 4th of July homie! Who's cooking out?

Something that vaguely reminded me of a smile tugged at my lips.

Me: I'm at Gabriel's party. There's more booze than food :-)

LaLa: I feel you. I went to a festival. The closest I got to BBQ was a turkey leg. I need a rib. Stat.

A smile made a comeback on my face. It felt good after a few weeks. Probably more than that if I included the weeks before the wedding. All of my smiles were forced back then.

Me: I heard of a good BBQ place. Let me know if you wanna check it out sometime.

LaLa: I would love that. Let's set it up for next week.

Me: Let me know what day is best for you.

I put my phone away and drove home. It felt like I was getting my life back, one step at a time. I wanted Rachel back too but I wasn't going to do anything more than show her the man I am and the life we could have together. Whether she wanted that would be up to her.

Kids in America

"Looking out a dirty old window
Down below the cars in the city go rushing by
I sit here alone and I wonder why
Friday night and everyone's moving
I can feel the heat but it's soothing, heading down
I search for the beat in this dirty town
Downtown the young ones are going
Downtown the young ones are growing
We're the kids in America (Whoa) (x2)
Everybody live for the music-go-round" Kids in America by Kim Wilde

Trevor supported me but didn't understand my decision to end my friendship with Rocky. He thought it was one of those things were we would fight and make up. He pointed out how Sammy and I got through our numerous fights and the awful things we said to each other but we were able to work through it. He agreed what Rocky did was harsh, but he sympathized with her because she was in a bad place. He wanted to know why I couldn't forgive and forget.

I felt immature because I couldn't adequately explain why I couldn't just forget. I told Trevor I would think about it so he would get off my case. I knew ending my toxic relationship with Rocky was best. Even though he didn't agree with my actions, he still comforted me and allowed me to mope without questioning my decision any further. He took care of me after my "break-up" with Rocky.

He stepped up and did everything he could to help me out. I appreciated everything he did for me but as thoughtful as Trevor was, him helping out created more work for me. He forgot about laundry to the point the clothes would sit in the dryer and wrinkle and I would have to iron tank tops and t-shirts. He put my pots and pans in. The. Dishwasher! His grocery shopping still left me needing to go to the store to plan real meals and not the microwavable junk he bought.

I didn't say anything because it reminded me of how confrontational Rocky was about the smallest things when we moved in together. I didn't want to be that bitch. So, I got over it and did the chores myself. Besides, it was my first real week at work. I needed everything to go smoothly.

My first day at the rehabilitation clinic was spent "learning the ropes." Adil, er-Dr.Fahri, spent some time going over our schedule and what our probationary period entailed. Basically, for me and the two other new physical therapists, as new hires we had no seniority and no set schedule. We filled in where we were needed.

That was the major difference between my jobs. At my last job, we worked off of appointments so we could set our own schedule based on our patients. Now, I worked on a shift. So yes, ideally we could work with the same patients, but that wasn't the main focus.

The focus of the clinic was to empower our clients so they could prevent injuries or re-injuries. As physical therapist, our role was to get our clients to go through their rehab or conditioning by themselves. We tracked their progress, administered treatments and charted everything. The majority of time was spent charting patient information. We had to, considering we didn't have assigned patients and the athletic trainers and doctors used our charts to decide if a client was ready to return back to their sport with or without limitations.

Even with the differences, I was embracing my new job. I loved the all black scrubs that were our uniform, the sleek state of the art equipment, and the team environment. I got off of work Monday, looking forward to my next day.

The rest of my first week at work went well. I met all of my co-workers and got acquainted with the two athletic trainers as well. The summer league for the Dallas Mavericks started, so we mostly worked with those athletes, a few dancers, and a lot of the high school students we were affiliated with.

Remembering my problems with Darren and Coach Green, I kept all my interactions with all my clients brief and professional. I really had no set routine at work. It was a lot of hurry up and wait but I liked it. It kept me on my toes even when it wasn't super busy.


Friday before the 4th of July weekend came by so fast. Trevor's job closed for the day, so he left that morning with Sammy and Corey. Sammy, always networking, secured a gig in Austin with Johnny. Black Reign was performing at the festival for the holiday weekend, and Johnny wanted to throw a big pre-bash to celebrate. With Ron's (her boss that was in Miami) permission, she got the HoneyBees to host and was taking 2 girls with her.

As soon as my relief came in at my job, I rushed to the faculty changing room. After a shower, I slipped into a denim romper I was planning to wear to Johnny's party. I was heading to my car when Jordan called me.

"Hey, have you left already?" She asked after I answered.

"No, I'm getting in my car as we speak. What's up?" I replied.

"Can me and my friend join you?" Jordan asked. I crinkled my nose, confused. I extended the invitation to all my friends as soon as Trevor knew what we were doing. By then, everyone already had plans.

Amber and her family were joining Ethan and Serena at the Carter's annual BBQ. I filled her in on my conversation with Rocky so she knew what was up. I offered to fly Bianca out, but she made plans to go to New York with Noelle, Christian's girlfriend. I immediately asked who invited her. When she told me Noelle, I sighed, relieved. I hadn't responded to any of Christian's Facebook comments in hopes he would gradually fade away like after college with no drama. Apparently, it was working out. Jordan had been talking about Steven's Cabin at Caddo Lake. All of my old work friends were going out there to celebrate. I wonder what changed her mind.

"Derek and I broke up." She confessed in a small voice when I asked.

I told her I was on my way with no other questions asked.

On the drive to Austin, Jordan explained to me what happened. Derek opted to work instead of celebrating the 4th and Jordan finally had enough. She left that night and had been staying with her friend Tori ever since.

"He acts as if he's saving lives. He's not a real doctor. I've saved more lives than him." Tori scoffed.

I glared at her through my rear view mirror. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her what the fuck she did but Jordan shot me an apologetic look. I took a deep breath and looked at her.

"Derek has always been obsessed with work. I just don't think he knows how to balance." I said, reasonably.

"All that work is bullshit. He's cheating on you!" Tori exclaimed, puffing a cloud of smoke as she vaped in my car.

I hid my disdain and focused on Jordan.

"Do you really think he's cheating?" I asked.

"No! When would he have the time to cheat? I get that his job is important to him; It's not like I haven't tried to work with him on it. He just doesn't care how I feel." Jordan countered.

I nodded, understandingly. I opened my mouth to tell her maybe time apart was what they needed, but Tori spoke up again.

"I've been telling you that. You wasted too many good years on that asshole. Time to move on."

When Jordan nodded, enthusiastically, I sighed, defeated. Maybe we could have a real conversation when Tori wasn't around.

After the long drive, in which Tori bitched about everything, her job (911 dispatcher), the heat (she's from Texas, we haven't even reached triple digit heat yet), and my music (she LOATHES pop) we finally arrived in Austin. I originally planned to head to the party, but Jordan nor Tori was dressed for it.

Thankfully, Corey took care of booking an additional room at the Super 8 so we drove there. After checking in, the girls showered and changed while I called Trevor to let him now we made it.

"Alright darling. I'll see y'all soon. Hurry up!" He said. I smiled. He was tipsy heading straight to drunk. I couldn't wait to join him!

While the girls took their time getting ready, I decided to redo my hair and make-up. I discovered strobing through my favorite beauty blogger, so I went through her tutorial and did my face. It was so much easier then contouring and consisted of highlighting. I loved the look: it was perfect for the summer.

Tori took a shower first and came out wearing a red skimpy bikini and a black mesh fitted cover dress over it. I gave up the mirror so she could do her makeup. While Jordan showered, I straightened my hair and left it so it fell in layers to my back.

I was spraying shimmery body mist on my exposed skin when Jordan emerged from bathroom. She looked great in a white bikini top, blue jean skirt and platform wedges.

"You look hot!" I told her.

"Thank you! Your make-up looks great!" Jordan exclaimed.

I smiled, proudly.

Tori eyed me, critically. "Are you done? It looks oily." She commented.

"No it doesn't. It's dewy!" Jordan reassured me.

I didn't say anything. I didn't need to defend what I put on my face. Tori's makeup was dark with winged eyeliner and wine red lips. Very dance with the dead. She didn't look bad, it just wasn't my taste. Obviously, we had very different styles. I just wish she didn't feel a need to comment on mine. A small part of me wanted to ask what she planned to sacrifice, but I bit my tongue. No point in being childish, no matter how fun it would have been for me.

When they were finally ready, we headed to the party. I got the address of the apartment complex from Trevor and knew it was being held in the clubhouse. I found the apartments with no problem, but we only saw the leasing office. I drove around the apartments before I called Trevor. He didn't answer. I called him again before calling Sammy.

"What phase are you in?" She asked.

"I have no idea. I saw the leasing office." I said, looking for a sign.

"That's phase one. The clubhouse is in phase two. Go to the entrance, make a right and it's the first right. Head straight back until you see the pool." Sammy explained.

I followed her instructions and soon heard the live music playing. We parked by the pool that was crowded with people lounging and dancing around. The pool entrance was gated and locked, forcing us to go through the clubhouse.

Sammy greeted us, looking sexy but professional in a floral dress. She gave us red, white and blue lei before leading us straight to the bar. It was decked out in luau decorations. The bar itself had a grass table skirt with red, white, and blue artificial hibiscus flowers scattered about.  American flag banners, patriotic paper lanterns and stars hung over the bar.

"How bad ass is this?" Sammy grinned.

"This is incredible! Did you do this?" I asked, looking around. The clubhouse looked plain compared to the bar set up.

Sammy nodded. "Johnny wanted the bartenders in coconut bras and grass skirts so I was assuming it was a luau but when we showed up, there were no decorations at all."

"Sounds like Johnny. Great ideas, bad execution." I said as we moved forward in the line at the bar.

"He gave me his credit card and I did the rest." Sammy bragged.

"I don't remember you climbing up ladders to hang anything." Corey butted in, joining us in line. He didn't look festive at all in black jeans and a t-shirt with some band I've never heard of.

"Whatever. I told you where to put them." Sammy said, before ordering us drinks.

"Hey Lily, Jordan, Tori." Corey greeted us. Jordan and I returned his greeting with a hug while Tori just folded her arms and looked away.

What was that about?

Ashleigh, our bartender, returned with our signature drinks and I took a sip before looking around.

"Where is Trevor? He's not answering his phone." I asked Corey and Sammy.

"J-Mike pushed him in the pool when it was in his pocket. Last time I saw him, he was drying off." Corey smiled.

"Fucking J-Mike is in town?" I exclaimed, heading outside as they followed me.

Corey nodded. "He had a job interview."

I tried to wave at Bilal on our way out, but he was busy playing the bass and making eye contact with a pretty girl sitting with a group of friends on lounge chairs jamming to the music. I noticed one of the girls in the same group was Amelia, but I surprised myself by how much I didn't care as I searched for Trevor.

I finally saw him as he waved me over. He was sitting at the edge of the pool, drying off while J-Mike splashed around in the water chatting with girls.

I made my way over to him as he stood up. Sammy broke away to check on the outside bar. It was done up with tiki torches and masks.

"There's my girl." Trevor grinned at me, holding out his arms. He was still wet, but I went into his arms anyway.

"Hey baby." I smiled, before giving him a kiss.

"You look so beautiful." He said, before kissing me again.

I pulled away when he started groping me. "You're so wet." I teased.

"Thank that ass clown over there." Trevor pointed at J-Mike.

"Who invited that ass clown anyway?" I asked.

"Hey! I can hear y'all!" J-Mike exclaimed.

"Good! Go back to D.C. Don't you have a job?"

"No. I quit. Can't pay alimony without a job." He laughed.

I shook my head. "You are the worst. I swear, you are a child." Jordan and Tori joined us after they stripped down to their bikinis and jump in the pool. I sat beside Trevor and dipped my legs in the water.

Sammy came over from checking the bar and Corey joined us by the pool. We listened to Bilal's band, dancing and singing along. I'd forgotten how much I loved them. Their music was so much more than just covers. They put their own little twist on everything. Jeremy was even playing a ukulele as they played their unique version of Cheerleader. His raspy voice blended beautifully with the music.

"I want them to play at our wedding." I said to Trevor as I swayed to the beat. I was on my third drink and was feeling great.

"Me too." Trevor agreed, pulling me in close, kissing on my shoulder.

"I can't wait to hear their version of Here Comes the Bride" Corey chuckled.

I shook my head. "I don't want that song when I come down the aisle. I want Angels by Robin Thicke."

"I love that song." Sammy gushed. "All the things I've done before this-" She started singing.

"They don't mean a thing." I joined in.

Trevor made a face against my shoulder. "I don't know that song. How bout Something?"

"By who?" I asked.

"The original is by the Beatles. Great song." Corey answered.

It was my turn to make a face. "The Beatles? Maybe at the reception."

I heard Jordan squeal and I saw J-Mike splashing her in the water.

"Tell J-Mike to leave Jordan alone." I whined to Trevor as I watched J-Mike smile lecherously at her.

"He knows she has a boyfriend. He won't cross that line." Trevor told me.

"They broke up." I said.

"Don't tell him that." Trevor shook his head.

The band started playing Lovesong and Trevor and I both grinned at each other.

"This is it!" Trevor said.

"This is what?" Jordan asked, pulling herself out the water to dry off from J-Mike attack. J-Mike wasn't far behind and starred at Jordan's cleavage as she fixed her hair up in a bun. I glared at him instead of answering the question.

"The song Lily's gonna walk down the aisle to." Trevor explained.

J-Mike puffed. "Go for Run for the Hills."

Jordan laughed like it was the funniest thing ever.

"You and your boyfriend have a song picked out too?" J-Mike asked her with a grin.

"No more boyfriend." She said, flirtatiously. His grin grew larger.

"What did you play at your wedding?" I asked, interrupting their moment.

"Big band music. That's what my ex wanted. I tried to give her what she wanted, it just didn't work out." J-Mike said, looking at Jordan. I knew him well enough to know he was bullshitting to get sympathy.

"I should have guessed something old school." I emphasized the old. "How old is your ex-wife again? She probably wore poodle skirts and saw Frank Sinatra live."

We all started laughing before J-Mike pulled me in the pool. After making sure I was ok, Trevor went after J-Mike. As they play fought in the water, I took the opportunity to talk some sense into Jordan.

"Jordan, do not hook up with J-Mike." I advised her.

"Why not? He's single, I'm single."

"He's still going through a divorce. You just got out of a relationship. Are you even sure you want to end it with Derek? Y'all just needed space before." I said.

"Not this time. I waited to the last minute to ask you to come because I was waiting for Derek. For him to make the first move, anything, and he hasn't. He really doesn't care." Jordan said, fighting back tears.

"I'm sorry Jordan, but J-Mike is just telling you what you want to hear-"

"I know that. I'm not looking for anything more than just fun right now." Jordan shrugged.

"Fine. I will no longer cock block you." I said, unable to hide my disapproval.

"Ok, seriously, why do you hate him so much?"

"It's not really hate... maybe I just keep picturing him dancing around in nothing but a sock back in college. It was traumatizing."

Jordan laughed. "He was a kid!

"He still is a kid!"

"Was it a big sock?" Jordan said, raising an eyebrow.

"I apologize Lily." J-Mike returned, handing me a towel. I took it from him and gave him an evil smile before turning back to Jordan.

"No. Girls size, extra small." I answered before Jordan and I laughed.

"What's so funny?" J-Mike asked. I didn't answer and moved a safe distance away from the pool.

After the band finished up, everyone filed out around 2am. Sammy shut down the bars and sent the girls on their way to the hotel. A group of us hung around, waiting to leave together. Amelia was part of the group. She came over and said goodbye with the girl Bilal was making eyes with. I wanted to eavesdrop on their conversation, but Amelia made sure to say goodbye personally to us.

She tilted her head and smiled at me in a way that said, "I fucked your boyfriend."

"Always nice to see you two." She purred, innocently.

I linked my arms through Trevor and returned her smile with a smirk that said "I'm Angelina, you're Jennifer. C'mon bitch, you see where Brad's at."

"Bye Jen-um, I mean, Amelia. Good luck tomorrow!" I said, just as sweetly. After that, she turned away and went to wait on her friend.

"I'm not even going to ask." Trevor said, burying his head in my neck. I chuckled as he nibbled on me.

As soon as the girl Bilal was talking to left, I turned to Bilal.

"Who is she? Did you meet her on Tinder?" I teased.

"No... that's Teresa. She's Black Reign assistant and my boss's step-daughter." Bilal answered.

"I'm sorry." I said, sympathetically.

He gave me a wryly grin. "Me too, but I'm trying. I slowed down on random Tinder hook ups."

I nodded, pleased to hear that. We sat around a little longer, finishing the remaining alcohol and listening to music. When a blunt was passed to me, I passed it along.

"No more smoking?" Bilal asked as he took it from me.

"No. I have a job now..."

"You should have heard her freaking out over her drug test." Trevor said, before he started mimicking my panic that had everyone laughing at me.

"Whatever! I didn't know how long it stayed in your system." I defended myself.

"Let's give her a contact high." Ian suggested. When he and Johnny started blowing smoke in my direction, I got up and ran away. That led to more laughs.

I helped Sammy finish packing up her things before I returned. A reggae song was playing and I giggled.

"What?" Trevor asked me.

"Nothing. Just thinking how I won't be invited to Rocky's wedding in Jamaica." I said, sitting in his lap. Trevor didn't respond but Bilal smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" I asked him.

"It's a free country right? I can smile if I want to. She can get married and invite whoever she wants. Happy birthday America!" Bilal answered, sarcastically holding up his bottle of beer. I took Trevor's cup and clinked his drink.

"To freedom!" I toasted.

"Hell yeah!" Jordan exclaimed, raising her glass in the air before finishing it.

I grinned, loving how instead of talking about Jordan's break up, or me ending my friendship with Rocky, or Bilal's attempts to move on, we just toasted America instead. I felt like Austin was an escape from the real world and I always let loose. It felt good to be childish once in a while. In fact, it was fucking necessary. Particularly on a holiday!

On the way to the hotel, I documented our fun on Facebook. I posted pictures and tagged everyone in them. I even promoted the Honey Bees with a great shot of Sammy and her bartenders, Rose and Ashleigh, standing in front of the bar. I captioned it:

My bestie slaying it! At work and in that dress! Contact her @HoneyBees #Bartending#GreatTimes#Austin

On the 4th of July, we woke up in the afternoon, changed into our patriotic clothes and went to an Independence Day Festival. Corey and Trevor went shopping together at Old Navy and brought Sammy and me matching tanks. I paired mine with plaid short shorts and Sammy wore white denim shorts. Jordan wore a cute lace dress with a patriotic vest. Tori wore a black Rolling Stones t-shirt dress. Bilal wore jeans, a blue t-shirt and a red bandana tied like a headband. J-Mike went all out, looking like Uncle Sam in red and white striped pants, a blue tank covered with stars, and a huge top hat. Everyone stopped to take pictures with his dumb self, and he ate up the attention.

 The weather was perfect and we carried on the childish behavior and had a blast. We played carnival games and I suppressed my urge to gag when J-Mike was all over Jordan. We went on rides, including a super slide and a bungee trampoline. Bilal and Tori partnered up so no one was left out. I motioned to him to swipe left on her so he would know not to hook up with her. He laughed and nodded his understanding. We also indulged on fair treats. I was disappointed not to have BBQ on the 4th, but I made up for it with a turkey leg, cotton candy and popcorn.

At the end of the night, Corey and Trevor spread out a blanket and we all huddled up to watch Black Reign, followed by the fireworks. It was a beautiful display, coordinated with a local radio station so the fireworks were timed with the music. It was the perfect end to a perfect holiday and I kissed Trevor to show him my appreciation for him.

"I love you T-Rev." I told him as I held him close.

"I love you too." Trevor said.

After the show, instead of trying to rush out with everyone else and get stuck in traffic, we stayed and listened to music. J-Mike bought sparklers, so we lit them up and danced around. I got Bilal to take a picture of Trevor and me posing with the sparklers together.

After I finally approved the perfect shot, I had Bilal send it to me so I could post it on Faceboook/Instagram. While I waited, I saw I had a text. I gasped when I saw who it was from.

"Forrest text me!" I exclaimed to Trevor.

"Oh yeah?" Trevor asked, turning away from whatever Bilal, Corey, J-Mike and he were doing.

"Yeah. He said, "Happy Independence Day Lily"." I read.

"That's nice." Trevor replied.

It was so much more than nice, but I didn't know what it meant. Why Happy Independence day? Were Rachel and him done? Was I reading too much into it? Maybe they were back together? But why would he text me? Was it a group text that accidentally got sent to me? What do I do?

I decided to play it cool and adult-like and causal.

Me: Happy Independence Day!

I read over it and changed it. It didn't sound like me without a little silliness.

Me: Happy 4th of July homie! Who's cooking out?

A few moment later, I got a text from here.

Forrest: I'm at Gabriel's party. There's more booze than food :-)

Gabriel? As in Blake's bestie but Rachel's co-worker? Interesting... Yay, a smiley face! That's a great start.

Me: I feel you. I went to a festival. The closest I got to BBQ was a turkey leg. I need a rib. Stat.

Forrest: I heard of a good BBQ place. Let me know if you wanna check it out sometime.

Before I could over analyze that, I heard a loud pop. I looked over to the guys. They were celebrating and setting up another firework!

I quickly responded to Forrest.

Me: I would love that. Let's set it up for next week.

I jammed my phone in my pocket and joined the boys to make sure they didn't do anything stupid: like set us on fire. Crazy Kids!

What Is Love

"Oh, I don't know, what can I do?
What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you
I can't go on
What is love?
Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love?
Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, uh, uh(x2)
What is love?(x3)
Baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Don't hurt me(x2)
I want no other, no other lover
This is our life, our time
We are together, I need you forever
Is it love?" What Is Love by Haddaway

After I got off the phone with Amber, I took 5 minutes to get my shit together. The last person I thought I would be seeing at EJ's birthday party was Rocky. How fucking awkward if their weren't even together. Especially after what Peyton told me the night before with Brandon calling Rocky a slut. The Rocky I was friend with wouldn't let a guy that called her out her name live to speak about it, much less hang out with him at his nephew's party.

That thought made me remember it was EJ's day. I know, I know; I've said and thought it before, but I meant it this time. When I approached the small splash park, I immediately saw everyone set up at two large tables under a pavilion.

I made my way over to them. I waved to Albert, Ethan's and Brandon's dad, who was talking to Megan and an older couple I guessed were her parents. My eyes settled on Rocky, Serena and Deborah, Ethan's and Brandon's mom, sitting at the end of a table. Amber was standing holding Robbie and she gave me a reassuring smile.  I took a deep breath and I greeted them.

"Hey everyone." I said, friendly, plastering a smile on my face.

Serena gave me a little wave before I sat EJ's birthday card on the table next to his pile of gifts.

"Hey Lily." Amber said, cheerfully as I gave her a hug, kissing Robbie on the cheek as I pulled away.

Deborah stood to give me a hug next.

"It's good to see you." I said, sincerely. It really was. She automatically put me at ease because she was always so sweet to me.

"It's good to be seen. I'm glad you could make it." She replied, smiling at me.

In a surprising move, Rocky flashed a quick smile at me too and gave me a hug as well. I didn't let it disarm me; I still had my guards up. I wasn't going to ignore her: that required effort. Effort meant I cared; I was trying not to. I didn't want to hate her; The opposite of love was indifference. Ethan taught me that. I didn't want her to matter to me at all. She stopped mattering when we stopped being friends.

"Where's the birthday boy?" I asked, looking around the Splash park, needing to get away from Rocky inquisitive stare. It would have been easier if she was hostile or cold. She was neither, and it was throwing me off.

"I see him. Let's go. I'm sure Robbie wants to splash around some more." Amber quickly cut in.

We then took off to find the birthday boy.

"So... that was weird." Amber started.

I nodded, but didn't comment. I didn't want to think about Rocky. I didn't want to care. I kept repeating it to myself as we walked away.

I focused on EJ. We found him stationed at a  huge water gun that pivot to shoot at people. I waved him over and he left to met me. I gave him a hug and told him happy birthday before I let him return to his friends.  I stood by Amber's side to watch Robbie play in the jumping waters.

"Are you ok? I mean, I can tell you weren't ok. Are you going to be ok because I can come up with an excuse for us to leave?" Amber said.

I shook my head. "I'm fine. I promise."

She looked at my worriedly but didn't say anything.

"Where's Ethan?" I asked her.

She pointed to a grassy area were BBQ grills were set up. I left her to say hello to him.

"I'm here to help." I greeted him with a smile and a hug.

"Will is doing the hotdogs on another grill. I think we got it." Ethan answered.

I inspected the hamburgers on the grill. "Those burgers are ready."

"Those burgers are raw." Ethan corrected me.

"Exactly. Perfect." I said.

"The kids are not going to eat raw burgers. Get a bun and you can have one, cooked specially for you." He offered.

"No way. I don't eat raw burgers. Gross." I stuck out my tongue.

"You didn't came over here to help, did you? He accused, with a little smile.

I laughed but didn't get a chance to respond before Serena joined us. She handed Ethan a water bottle before settling beside him. She watched me expectantly, and I cleared my throat. Something about her demeanour was uncomfortable.

"Lily, can you make sure Will has a tray for the hotdogs? I don't remember if I gave him one." He asked.

"Sure." I said, gratefully turning away to leave. I checked with Will. He was already putting hotdogs on one of the trays Ethan gave him. I took it from him and walked it back to the table.

Before I could reach the table, Jake stood up and took the tray from me.

"Thanks." I said, pushing my sunglasses to the top of my head.

"No problem. You wanna sneak one? I won't tell." He asked me, placing the food down.

"No. I can wait." I smirked.

"You sure? Looks like you're losing weight. Is Trevor feeding you?" He asked me.

"I've been feeding myself for decades now. Besides, maybe now that I lost some weight I can look like Jordan in a dress." I commented.

Jake laughed. "Are you talking about the black and white dress? I handpicked that dress for you. It doesn't look right on anyone else."

"Riiight...according to you it looks better." I stated.

"I was kidding."

"Um-hmm..."

"Seriously-" Jake started. He was cut off by Ethan announcing the food was ready and rounding up all the kids.

I helped Amber with her kids as we made them plates of food. After we got them settled at the kids table, I grabbed my plate and followed Amber to the empty side of the adult table to sit. I was eating my food peacefully when Rocky asked me from across the table where she was sitting with Brandon if I was going to Kaboom Town this year.

"No. I have to work on the third." I answered simply.

She frowned. "I didn't know you started a new job. How late do you work now?"

"6." I answered.

"Where are you working? You might be able to make it." Rocky continued. I kept a neutral look on my face.

"No, I'm in central Dallas now. I'd see fireworks sitting in traffic trying to get there."

"Is it another clinic?" Jake asked me

"Yeah, I work at the clinic for the Dallas Mavericks." I smiled, excitedly.

That got everyone's attention and they asked questions about players and tickets. I replied I signed a non-disclosure... and admitted I just went through training so I haven't interacted with any clients.

"Do they know you hate the Mavericks? Did you lie on that part of the interview?" Ethan asked as he sat down last with a plate a food.

"I don't! You made it a rival when it wasn't." I denied, remembering when we first met. One of the things we talked about was basketball: my love for the L.A. Lakers and his for the Mavericks. The year we met was 2 seasons after the Mavericks won the championship. They swept the Lakers in the first round. Ethan loved to rubbed that in my face when we watched the games together.

"Kinda hard to be a rival when Lakers aren't a threat to anyone." Jake commented.

"You shut up. They are rebuilding!" I exclaimed.

"For the past 5 years?" Will joined in.

"Yes! Its a process."I defended them.

"When our star players are out with injuries, guess we'll know why." Ethan said.

Before I could defend my professionalism, EJ came over and asked if we could cut the cake.

"Is everyone done eating?" Ethan asked.

"Almost." EJ answered.

"Go throw your trash away and we will in a minute." Ethan instructed him.

"You're working on the 3rd, what about the 4th?" Deborah asked me.

"I'm going out of town for the weekend."

"Where to?" Serena asked me, pleasantly.

"Austin." I answered, plainly. Brandon stiffened and Rocky started fidgeting with her finger. When I saw the engagement ring back on her hand, I felt a rage build inside me.

"You ok?" Jake asked me, with a confused look on his face. I nodded, trying to calm down.

"Lily, watch EJ." Ethan instructed me. I did. He was literally throwing his trash away. He got to his juice box and was a few feet away from the trash. Before he shot, Ethan said, "Kobe!"

I smiled. I called out the same thing every time I took a hard shot when we played basketball at Dave and Buster's.

The wind picked up the juice box so EJ missed. Everyone laughed.

"I'm leaving!" I announced, failing to hold back my laughter.

"What about your cake?" Ethan asked.

"I want a really big piece to put up with this abuse." I grinned.

After we ate, we sang happy birthday to EJ and cut the cake. After all the kids were served, Ethan gave me a huge corner piece first. I laughed but ended up sharing it with Amber. Ethan left to cut everyone else a piece. I felt eyes watching me. When I looked up, I saw that it was Serena.

"How's Rachel?" I asked, curiously. I hadn't heard anything from Blake since the original time I text him.

"Not great as you already know." Serena answered shortly.

She was wearing oversized sunglasses, so I couldn't read her facial expressions. Her tone was very brisk, like she was annoyed with me. Maybe she was tired of people asking her.

"I actually didn't know. The only thing I knew is she left him." I replied, neutrally willing to let it go.

"That's not something most women do lightheartedly." Serena countered, sarcastically.

Wow...I wanted to go off on how "heavy-hearted" Rachel must have been to leave Forrest on their fucking WEDDING DAY, but I let it go and focused on my cake.

EJ opened his presents next. He got gifts ranging from water guns, video games, clothes, and sports equipment. He opened up his card from me. It was five separate gift cards: Top Golf, Toys R Us, McDonald's, AMC, and Gamestop. $100 each.

When Ethan looked at me, I shrugged. "That's how they refund ponies now."

He just shook his head. EJ thanked everyone for his gifts and I got ready to leave with Amber. She had to work and I wanted to get out of there before anything happened. Between Serena's defense of Rachel and the fucking ring back on Rocky's finger, I no longer trusted myself.

"I heard y'all we're going out tonight?" Rocky asked me as we got ready to leave. I inwardly groaned. Stupid Facebook.

"Maybe. I'm kinda tired. It depends on how I feel." I replied.

"Call me and let me know." She said, giving me another hug.

Oh, so that's how we're gonna play it? Like nothing happened. Fuck that.

I wanted to tell her don't hold her fucking breath on that phone call... or do hold her breath until she passed out, but I bit my tongue. I reminded myself that I no longer cared.

"Cool." I commented, noncommittally before I headed towards EJ. Even though he was wet from jumping back into the water, I gave him a huge hug. I needed the water to cool off anyway.

I said my goodbyes to everyone and headed to my old apartment. I did one final clean up before my walk thru with the leasing manager on Monday. I called Trevor while I was cleaning. He was with Corey, playing video games. When I asked him what he planned to wear to the bar, he tried to get out of coming.

"Corey and I talked about playing Minecraft tonight." He said.

"Ahhh, I understand. You feel uncomfortable going to a gay bar, but your perfectly fine having an intimate night alone with Corey." I confronted him.

I heard them both start laughing, meaning he had me on speaker, meaning he hadn't even paused the game.

 "Alright. I'll pick you up, but I'm wearing what I have on." Trevor stated.

"Oh... the not trying to hard approach. Gay guys love that!" I teased before hanging up.

I took a long, hot shower and washed my hair. I left it down in loose waves. While I picked out my clothes, I definitely had Jake's comment about me losing weight on my mind. I picked out a pair of faux leather leggings and white crop cami that showed a sliver of my stomach.

I went to Trevor's side of the closet and pulled out one of his check shirts I was eying to get rid of. It was rainbow colored which wasn't shocking when you considered he had a button down in every color and pattern. It was ridiculous, but I was glad I didn't donation them quite yet. The rainbow one definitely came in handy as I tied the sleeves a little off-centered around my waist. It supported the cause and made my waist appear smaller. I did my eye make-up light with a shimmery taupe cream shadow, brown liner and extra coats of mascara. A pretty rose red lip finish my look.

I was so feeling myself as I looked in the mirror. I didn't get pulled into anyone's drama, I had a normally conversation with Jake and Ethan, I keep my composure the whole entire birthday party, and I adored my casual sexy look. I started a new job I was excited about, was in love and moved in with my boyfriend. I planned on having a great time to celebrate my accomplishments.

Corey was designated driver, so Trevor and I both got to drink at the bar. We were joined by Sammy, Corey, Lamar, Patrick, Sophia, Dino, her brother Dominick, Peyton, Chris, Becca and her best friend Mallory. Trevor eyed me worriedly when Becca came over briefly to say hello. I was so determined to have a good time, I didn't even acknowledge her presence. I drank my drink to keep myself occupied until she scurried off with Peyton to another table.

Patrick ordered everyone a round of shots. "To love... no matter who's it with! May it always prevail!"

We all cheered and took our shots. Sammy, Dino, Gigi, Jordan and I all hit the dance floor. We danced around to house music merrily. I scoped out Dominick dancing between Jordan and Sammy. He's a few inches taller than me, with tattoos, a great body and even better dance moves.

"Why does he need setting up with girls?" I yelled to Dino.

She rolled her eyes. "He doesn't. He won't settle down. That's the problem."

After a couple more songs, Dominick tried to dance on me, but I shut that down. I looked around to see where Sammy and Jordan went when Dino pulled me to her.

"Ok, there's a guy staring at us. I can't tell which one of us he's eying." She shouted.

"It's a gay bar!" I laughed.

"He's not gay. He's made eye contact with me like 3 times and stared at your ass."

"Well, he's all yours Dino. I have a man!" I reminded her.

"See if he makes eye contact with you. If he does, he's just playing his odds and I'm not interested in that."

"Are you looking for love in da club?" I sang, drunkenly.

"Just do it!" She snapped at me. I danced around her so we were facing the same direction. I hugged her from behind and laughed.

"Now he's gonna think you're my girlfriend." I said.

"Lily!"

I laughed again. "Alright. Where is he?"

"2 o'clock. Hispanic, tall, built, super sexy."

I looked to the right towards 2 o'clock. I froze. I didn't even find the sexy guy. My eyes clashed with Rocky's instead. She was hanging out with Peyton and Jackie at another table. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! I didn't wanna deal with this right now. I was way too drunk.

"I gotta go!" I told Dino before I bailed. I found our table at the oppisite side of the bar, out of sight from Rocky. Corey was talking to Sammy.

"Where's Trevor?" I asked.

"He just went to get Jordan water. She's a mess and not listening to us." Sammy rolled her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Derek. What else?" Corey said, simply.

"Are y'all ready to go?" I asked, anxiously. I knew I was after seeing Rocky.

"Y'all don't have to leave, I can take her home." Corey offered.

"No, I'm ready." I said.

"Me too." Sammy agreed.

We found Jordan and Trevor at the bar. She was clinging to him like she couldn't stand up.

"I'm leaving him. I'm done! He doesn't love me!" Jordan declared.

"Sleep on it first, ok?" Trevor told her calmly as  we made our way out the bar. Derek didn't seem worried or concerned, just annoyed when we dropped off Jordan.

Before we went home, we stopped by Jack in the Box and had late night munchies meals I knew we would regret in the morning.

Thankfully, we bypassed the morning all together and woke up in the afternoon. I passed out in my clothes so Trevor got to appreciate my outfit again before taking it off of me. We were still lounging in bed when we heard a knock on the door. We played rock, paper, scissor to see who would answer it. I won, so Trevor had to get up. A few moments later, he returned.

"Lily, It's Rocky." He said.

My eyes widen. "Did you get rid of her?"

"No. I think y'all should talk." He said.

"I don't wanna talk." I said, stubbornly.

"Then listen." He said, not budging.

I glared at him but got up. I pulled on jeans and a t-shirt and made my way to the living room. Rocky was sitting on the couch, petting Justine. I sat across from her on the loveseat and Trevor sat between us on the couch.

"I owe you both an apology. I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving. " She started, humbly. "I said and did a lot of things I'm not proud of. The things I said about your relationship was unfair. I did want to talk to you both about buying a house together, but not like that. I'm sorry."

I stared at her and Trevor looked between us before replying.

"The thing I don't understand is why you continued to push us away. All we wanted to do was help you Rocky." Trevor said.

"I know. I needed some time to get my mind right. I made a lot of mistakes that I had to fix on my own. I've just- been trying to put my life back together." Rocky explained.

There was an awkward silence as I thought over what she said. I studied her as she watched me.

"Is your life back together? I see your not wearing your ring." I finally said, bluntly.

She looked down at her hand. "We're still working things out, but this isn't about him. This is about our friendship."

I shook my head. "We don't have a friendship anymore Rocky."

"How do I fix that?" Rocky asked.

"You don't. You can't. Friendship is about trust and mutual

respect and I have neither for you now."

"Lily-" Trevor started. I turned to him, my facial expression telling him to shut the hell up. He wanted us to talk, that's what he was getting. When he was silent, I continued.

"I told you how afraid I was of being alone. You used that: not only by saying our relationship was going to fail but by cutting me off. I understand making mistakes. I understand needing time to work through them. What I don't understand is how you could do that to me."

Tears formed in her eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. I was hurt and embarrassed and I lashed out at you. I promise I will never do that again."

"No, you won't." I agreed. " I accept your apology but I don't want to be friends. I don't want people in my life that will intentionally hurt me. I deserve better. I wish you the best."

Tears streamed from her eyes but she nodded and headed to the door. Trevor looked at me, in disbelief.  After a brief stare down, he got up and followed Rocky. Only then did I let my emotions show. I made my way to the bathroom. It was the only room in the apartment that locked. I locked the door and sat down and cried. I probably would have went to my old apartment to be alone but I didn't want Trevor or Rocky to see me crying. I didn't regret anything I said. I meant ever word. That didn't mean I didn't still have love for Rocky. I wasn't indifferent. It still hurt.

When I heard Trevor come back into the apartment, I turned on the shower. Right after I did, the doorknob jiggled. I thought I was saved until a few moments later, the doorknob jiggled some more. I heard the lock click before the door opened.

I looked up briefly to see Trevor standing with a laminated card. I hid my tear stain face from him as he gathered me in his arms.

"I love you Lily." He said, stroking my hair and holding my close.

I couldn't help questioning what that meant as I cried.


***This week will be the last week of posts before my vacay with my family. I seriously doubt I can stay away from blogging and plan to get some writing time, but I will be taking a two week break from regular posting. As always, thank you for reading and commenting! Happy 4th of July weekend! Stay safe and have fun!

Not a Bad Thing

"Said all I want from you is to see you tomorrow
And every tomorrow, maybe you'll let me borrow your heart
And is it too much to ask for every Sunday
And while we're at it, throw in every other day to start
I know people make promises all the time
Then they turn right around and break them
When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding
But I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won't stop until you believe it
'Cause baby you're worth it
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might fuck around to find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me" Not a Bad Thing by Justin Timberlake 

The remaining Sunday Trevor and I spent unpacking the rest of my things and getting everything organized. We needed to go shopping for storage containers. Sharing space was the biggest obstacle now that all Justine's and my stuff was moved.  Now that I had a job, we could start looking for a bigger place. Rocky's words still rang in my head about a mortgage, but I pushed them away.

We needed to go shopping for groceries too, but I was tired and wanted to relax before my first day of training. I still hadn't picked out my outfit. I decided on navy trousers and a short sleeved linen blouse when my phone rang. I went to retrieve it, thinking it was Trevor. He graciously went to pick up food. I picked up my phone when I saw it was Ethan.

I immediately wished him a Happy Father's Day and asked him what he was up to. He told me he spent the day with his dad, Brandon and EJ fishing and now were on the way to have dinner with his older half-sister Tami.

"I wanted to thank you for the card. It was really- thoughtful." He said, struggling over the last sentence.

I smiled to myself. "I still owe you a gift. Have you ever been to Top Golf? I think that's what I want get you and EJ. I know it's just a lame card."

"It wasn't lame. It was nice." Ethan said, quickly. "I really appreciate it. No other gift is necessary."

Something about his tone made me wish we were having the conversation in person. He was hard to read, but I felt like there was something he wasn't saying.

"Everything ok?" I asked him, concerned.

"Yes. Take the pony back and save the Top Golf for EJ's birthday." Ethan instructed me.

I laughed. "When is his birthday party?"

"This Saturday."

"Wow, waiting till the last minute there, huh?” I smiled.

"He wanted to go to Six Flags. I told him we wouldn’t be having a birthday party there but we could make it a family event. I assumed that was all we were doing. Megan informed me he still needs a party for his friends."

"Not going to lie, I’ve been looking forward to birthday cake." I replied, lightly.

"Then I’ll see you Saturday at the Splash Park we took the kids to in Carrollton."

"Sure. See ya Saturday" I hung up.

Trevor came home with Subway sandwiches and small plastic storage cabinet. I put the storage cabinet in the corner of the bathroom and moved my beauty supplies into it. I joined Trevor in the bedroom after I finished. He had the food spread out and he put on Happy Gilmore. I laughed at him.

"You remember?" He smiled at me as I sat on the bed.

The first time he slept over at my dorm was by mistake. We were talking about whatever horrible Adam Sandler movie just came out, and we told each other our favorite movie starring him. When he found out I never seen Happy Gilmore, he brought it over so we could watch.

That started an Adam Sandler marathon that we feel asleep on. I panicked the next morning as he snuck out of my dorm. Only after he called and let me know he made it out unnoticed did I freak out over the fact we slept together. In the platonic sense, but still!

“Of course I do.” I smiled at him.

We laughed, ate and watched the movie. Afterwards, I started to gather the trash but Trevor grabbed it from me and tossed it in the small trash can. I ignored it for the night, telling myself I would take it in the kitchen in the morning.

"The first time I spent the night, did you believe we'd be living together one day?” Trevor asked, with an easy smile as he stretched out on the bed.

I shook my head and straddled him. "I believed I wasted all my time and money just to get kicked out of school over you." Trevor laughed and sat up. "So no, I didn't believe we would live together. I dreamed though..."

He wrapping both of his arms around my waist. "What did you dream?"

"That you would fall in love with me. And I dreamt about this..." I said, kissing him. It was long, sensual and deep. I ran my fingers over his t-shirt, stopping at his navel. He shuddered when my fingers brushed against his bare skin.

I sat back to catch my breath. "And this..." I breathed, before pulling off his shirt. I took my shirt off too. He made quick work of my bra and I pressed against him, chest to chest, mouth to mouth.

As we kissed, I slipped my hands in his shorts. "And especially this." I held his erection in my hand.

He responded by flipping me over so I was lying on my back.  He yanked my shorts and panties down my leg and pushed into me.

His thrust were slow and deliberate, allowing me to feel every inch of him.

"Is this what you dreamt about?" He groaned in my ear.

"Yes." I gasped, as I held on to him tightly.
He made love to me tenderly until we both came. He laid beside me afterwards.

"Your dreams came true. I'm in love with you Lily." Trevor said softly as he gathered me in his arms.

"I'm in love with you too." I said, before drifting off to sleep.



Monday, I excitedly got ready to go to work along with Trevor. I woke up earlier than him so I could have the bathroom to myself with no interruptions. Trevor slowly got out of bed as I finished getting dressed. I went into the kitchen and made coffee. I pulled out Poptarts for me and Trevor.

"I'm going to go grocery shopping when I get off." I told Trevor.

"Do you wanna wait for me to come with you?" He asked.

"No. You get off when everyone gets off. It'll be super crowded and I'll be hungry and that's a horrible combination for shopping. Do you have a taste for anything this week?" I replied.

"Umm, remember when we had dinner at your brother’s apartment and Jake didn't show up so you threw a hissy fit and left?" Trevor asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him and nodded.

He grinned. "I have a taste for that. The meat with the gravy."

"Salisbury steak. You could have just said what I cooked at my brother's apartment." I smirked putting my finished coffee mug in the sink.

Trevor laughed. "I wanted to make sure you knew which time."

"Sure."

He leaned in to give me a kiss. He studied me for a moment.

"What?" I said, patting down my hair and smoothing my clothes.

"Nothing. Your hair looks different. Lighter." He commented.

I grinned. "I dyed it. Last week."

"This is the first time you had it down in the daylight. I like it." He complimented me.

"Thank you." I said, giving him another kiss.

"Good luck today." He smiled against my lips.

I gave him one last kiss. "Text me if you think of anything else you want."

I drove in rush hour traffic to the sports medicine and orthopedic surgery center. It was 10 times more impressive than the rehabilitation clinic. The flooring was set to look like  track lanes. It was 5 stories, and while I waited to check in at the lobby, I read down the list of physicians. Not only were there orthopedic surgeons and athletic trainers, but there were dietitian, cardiologist, dentist and a plastic surgeon.

The first thing I was instructed to do was go take a picture for my badge. After that, I went to the 4th floor conference room were our training would occur. The room was already partially filled so I found a seat towards the middle.

At 9am on the dot, the medical director over both facilities started the training. He began by introducing us to the HR mangers and our 3 onboarding trainers. They all gave us brief bios of themselves, telling us what they did and how long they've been with the company.

Afterwards, we went around the room and introduced ourselves, our position and had to tell our first or worst job experience. I really liked how everyone did onboarding together; from administration staff to nurses to therapists. When it was my turn, I went with my first job at Dave and Buster's.

We took our first break and I went out to the lobby to check my phone. I had random texts from Trevor with groceries he wanted, Sammy telling me she and Corey made it back in town and a missed call from Rocky.

I ignored Rocky, shot down a few of Trevor's requests (I refused to buy a bunch of junk food!), and text Sammy an invitation to join us for dinner sometime this week. I sent the same invite to Jordan and Amber. We weren't going to have a housewarming until we actually found a new place together, but I figured a little dinner party with them would be nice.

Sammy replied "just let me know what day" when Vince, another physical therapist, approached me.

"So you're who I come to if I need a drink?" He asked.

I put my phone away and smiled. "Not at the job, but afterwards, absolutely."

"Do you still have all those drinks memorized?" He asked.

"Oh yeah, I practice every weekend. Sometimes weeknights. Occasionally weekdays." I joked.

"Think you might have a problem? They have a specialist for that here too."

I laughed. "I'm sure they do."

We went back into the room and the second half of the day was spent filling out paperwork, including a nondisclosure form. On our last break of the day, we all kinda figured out who was working at the rehabilitation clinic versus the surgical center and grouped up.

Our group talked about what part of Dallas we lived in. It was on the tip of my tongue to say I live in Addison.

"I live in Plano. Just moved in with my boyfriend." I corrected myself.

"Me too!" Tina, a radiology tech, informed me. We then talked about which parts and places we liked to eat.

The last part of the day, we received our ID badges and watched a video on the history of the clinic. It included present and past stars of the Dallas Mavericks. I was so impressed, even though I tried to act nonchalantly about it. Yeah, I might be rehabbing with Dirk Nowitzki. Games and playoff chances laid in my hand. No big deal!

After work, I went straight to the store. I planned our meals and bought groceries for the rest of the week. Our first homemade dinner in our apartment was going to be Salisbury steak, Trevor's granny mac and cheese, and a salad.

As I cooked dinner, I called Jenna. When I was shopping for the ingredients for the pasta bar for our group dinner, I made a mental note to call Jenna. No time like the present and besides, I needed to bitch my brother out for telling Dad I was moving in with Trevor.

She didn't answer, but when I finished dinner and put the salad together, my brother called me.

"Hey, I didn't want to talk to you. I wanted to talk to Jenna." I complained.

"She's at work." My brother explained.

We caught up, we told each other about our new jobs and home. He also told me he didn't tell our dad about Trevor and I moving in together- Dad actually approached him about it. I was shocked. How the hell did he know? When I got off the phone, I pondered it.

I let it go and focused on dinner. Trevor came home and we enjoyed our meal together. I excitedly told him about my day. Afterwards, he offered to put the dishes away.

"I love coming home to you." Trevor said, kissing me on the forehead. I beamed. We were officially in cohabitation bliss!

The rest of my training week went by quickly. Dr. Tran came on Friday and handed out our work schedules for the next two weeks. Probation lasted for 60 days then our benefits started. I was scheduled to work July 3rd, but was off on weekends because the clinic was closed. I told Trevor flying to California for one day seemed stupid, so we planned to go to Austin instead. He was excited and started planning.

I was pleasant surprised when Jordan and Derek were able to make it to our dinner Friday. Amber and Will couldn't make it, but I would be seeing them at EJ's birthday party. I was going solo because Trevor offered to help Dino's brother Junior update his system for his moving business. I was surprised, but not so pleasantly, when Trevor wanted to invite Chris and Peyton to our dinner.

"I like Chris." Trevor argued.

"Chris is cool. Peyton is friends with your ex and Rocky though!" I complained.

"That's right. Ex. And you and Rocky will work it out." Trevor commented. I ignored the second part, but did invite Chris and Peyton.  They were able to come so we had a nice group with Jordan, Derek,  Sammy, Corey, Peyton and Chris.

I helped prepare individual pastas while Trevor got everyone situated with drinks. I had to get my cardboard table out of storage, but between the living room and dining room, there was just enough space.

After everyone made their pasta, we sat and ate and I told them how smoothly the move went and how we were gonna start looking for a bigger place.

I asked Sammy and Corey about their trip. I saw numerous pictures of their weekend getaway to San Antonio. It looked like they had a blast.

They told us about visiting the Riverwalk, shopping and all the good, authentic Mexican food they ate. Sammy complained about all the sightseeing Corey made them do, but she bragged he made up for it with a spa night just for her.

Peyton said she needed to plan a vacation soon since she had vacation time coming up. Trevor told everyone our plans to go to Austin for the 4th. Peyton gushed about how she wanted to go back and how much fun they had in Austin the year before. I narrowed my eyes at her. I remembered that was when Trevor asked Becca to be his girlfriend. I changed the subject, saying how happy Trevor and I were that we had the same days off now.

"Lily, if you say 'we' or 'our' one more time, I'm stabbing you with my fork." Jordan threatened me, pointing her fork impaled on a chunk of chicken at me from the couch.

Sammy and Peyton laughed at me while Trevor rubbed my thigh under the table and grinned.

"What the fuck Jordan?" I asked, confused.

"You sound like a middle schooler with her first boyfriend. Our place, we need, we have blah blah blah." Jordan mocked me.

"Sorry." I grinned, sheepishly.

"How is the new job going?" Derek asked me.

Jordan rolled her eyes. "Of course you would bring up work."

Derek didn't respond, but I told him how excited I was.

"I thought you would be a really good fit with the kids I work with, but if your happy, congratulations." Derek said.

"I am. Besides, I went to graduate school with my direct supervisor. I know I'm smarter than him so I can take his job. I'd feel bad doing that to you." I joked.

Derek laughed good humoredly.

"You would have to pry it from his cold dead fingers." Jordan muttered in her glass of wine.

Derek shoot her a dirty look, and I announced we had cheesecake for dessert.

Overall, it was a great group. I was concerned about Peyton, but after a few glasses of wine, we were chatting merrily. We even made plans to see Magic Mike XXL together.

"We gotta invite Rocky too. She needs it. Seeing a bunch of hot guys will show her she doesn't have to chase after one." Peyton giggled, tipsy.

"I thought she and Brandon were back together. They looked cozy at Malik's party." I commented.

Peyton shook her head. "He treated her so bad. He left her alone at the bar and a guy came up to us. Before she could say a word, he called her a slut."

I gasped. Oh fuck!

"Is he still breathing?" Sammy asked, outraged.

"That's the crazy thing. She didn't say anything. That's when I left I was so disgusted!" Peyton said. "She needs to let it go."

I didn't say anything, just continued sipping my wine, trying to keep my buzz and good feeling.

Around 2am, the party broke up. I hugged everyone goodbye and we made plans to go out Saturday night. Sammy reposted an invitation to a gay bar Lamar and Patrick invited her to and we were all going. We needed to celebrate the legalization of gay marriage, my job, Sammy's birthday, and Jordan's hair!

I woke up late Saturday morning, hungover and miserable. I ate the breakfast sandwich Trevor made before going back to bed. He woke me up to tell me he was leaving, and I told him I loved him before going back to sleep. I woke up an hour later and got ready for EJ's party.

I was thrilled my white skinny jeans fit again, so I put them on with a blue tank top. I put my hair up in a bun and threw on some oversize sunglasses and left. I was pulling up into the parking lot of the Splash Park when Amber called me.

"I just pulled up." I answered as I parked.

"Lily." She said, in a low voice. "Rocky is here."