Friday, October 9, 2015

Wake Me Up When September Ends

*I will be getting into different point of views next week, but for now, I'm sticking with Lily's. From her point of view, things might not make sense because they don't to her as well.

This post is transitional and covers quite a bit of time. The month of September to be exact. Not only am I trying to catch up with real time, but I'm moving the story line along. There were a lot of good theories and guesses about what's going on- it'll be revealed soon!


"Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends"  Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day

It's been 2 weeks since Trevor told me he couldn't do this anymore and he needed a break. I thought I convinced him that night to stay so we could figure things out. I woke up the following morning of our talk alone. On the night stand, there was a handwritten note that read simply:

I'm sorry Lily.

As hurtful as his words were and as worried I was about what changed between us, I already forgave him. I was determined to work it out with him, no matter what. I went about my day, going shopping then to work like normal.

At work, I had a missed call from our apartment management, informing me I needed to come to the office and sign the new lease. Trevor and I originally decided not to sign a new lease. We were staying month to month because we planned to move by the end of the year. There shouldn't have been a new lease but now our plans changed.

When I came home to an empty apartment, I just sent him a text to see where he was. After cooking and taking Justine out for a walk, I watched Ninja Warrior. When the hippie guy won, I sent Trevor a text telling him he won the bet. I went to our room and eventually fell asleep watching Gilmore Girls and waiting by the phone. The next morning, still no word from Trevor.

I was disappointed, but I tried not to get upset. He ghosted me before when he didn't know what to do. I believed in my heart that's what he was doing- figuring out how to move forward. I called the apartments to let them know Trevor and I would be down to sign the lease sometime this week. The leasing manager informed me Trevor already signed the lease, she just needed me.

That confused me even more. I wondered when Trevor signed a new lease. It was possible he did Monday, but would they be able to make a new lease that quickly? If they did, why wouldn't he wait for me? Why wouldn't he come home? Unless he did and slept on the couch... I had no idea what to think, so I didn't. I just waited for him to come home.

By the end of the week, I was done waiting. I tried to call, but he didn't pick up. I figured he was at work, so I texted him repeatedly before I went to work Friday.

Me: I love you Trevor.

Me: Let's just talk about this, no pressure.

Me: Even if you don't want to be together, we need to figure out the lease and the apartment. Please call me.

Me: Whatever is going on, is it worth our entire relationship?

Me: This is the last text I'm sending you. It's been enough time. If you don't call me back, I'm considering us DONE!

I went to work, knowing when I got off my phone would be full of messages from him. I didn't receive one. I convinced myself he would be home waiting for me as I drove home. I came home, once again, to an empty apartment. Anger and sadness hit me all at once. I pulled out my phone without even thinking. I called over and over again. I lost count how many times I called. When they started going straight to voicemail, I stopped and packed up his clothes. I planned to send him a picture next to show that I was serious. I knew he ignored my calls so he would be able to see my text. I sent him a picture of his bags with the caption:

Me: Your stuff is ready for you. If you don't want to be in this relationship, you move out.

I took Justine outside for a walk. When I came back, with still no response from Trevor, I bombarded him with more text.

Me: I can't believe your willing to throw our entire relationship away.
Me: I'm not asking for us to get married, buy a house, we don't even have to live together. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.

Me: YOU pushed for the house. YOU said you wanted to marry me. YOU WANTED THIS ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP, NOW YOU WANNA BAIL? FUCK YOU!

Me: I TOLD SAMMY LAST YEAR I WOULD NEVER DATE YOU 'CAUSE ALL YOU WANTED WAS THE FUCKING CHASE. THANKS FOR PROVING ME RIGHT. I SHOULD HAVE NEVER TRUSTED OR BELIEVED YOU.

Me: I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS NEVER!!!

Me: YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME. WE WILL NEVER BE FRIENDS AFTER THIS. REMEMBER YOU SAID THAT!

ME: I HATE YOU TREVOR. I WISH I NEVER MET YOU!

I moved to the bathroom to pack up the rest of his belongings. I didn't care if his name was still on the lease: he could stay wherever he was at now. While I was cleaning out the bathroom, my phone rang. I dropped everything and ran to it.

Despair filled me when I saw it wasn't Trevor. It was Rocky. I let it ring. I had no intentions of telling my friends what was going on. Tears fell from my eyes, but I angrily wiped them away as I packed his belongings.

I was going through the kitchen when I heard a knock on the door. I got ready to prepare for war with Trevor when I swung open the door. It was Rocky.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, fixing my face.

"Trevor just texted me to take care of you. He didn't answer, then you didn't answer." Rocky complained, stepping into the apartment. She looked at Trevor's pile of things and back at me.

"What's going on?" Rocky asked me.

I shook my head. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"We had a... disagreement."

"A disagreement about what?"

"He needs time to sort things out. I'm making sure he has everything he needs." I lied.

She looked over at the pile again. "Lily-"

"He just needs a break. I do too really. It's always fucking something." I cut her off.

"I'm here, do you wanna talk about it?" She asked.

"No. He'll be back soon and I'm going to tell him off for involving you. You should be at home, resting not in the middle of our drama." I assured her.

"I'm pregnant Lily. Not sick and I'm staying until he gets back." Rocky said firmly.

"No. We need to talk and you know how Trevor is about confrontation. We'll work it out. We always do."

She reluctantly agreed and left. As soon as she did, I broke down in tears. I retrieved my phone and called him again. This time, I left a voicemail.

"I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I love you and I can't imagine my life without you. If I meant anything to you, just call me back please."

The first weekend was the hardest. I stayed in bed,  waiting for a call or text that never came. I buried myself in the sheets and comforter we shared and cried. I obsessed over every moment of the last night we spent together. He said he loved me. I knew he meant it- in every kiss and every caress I felt it. His lips and his fingers touched me everywhere as if he was trying to love every inch of my body.

Then with shocking clarity, I realized he knew that was our last time. He wasn't willing to give us another chance; he was saying goodbye. I cried harder as I dissected every conversation we had since Florida. Everything was perfect in Florida. What changed? When did he decided to leave me? Why did he leave me? What did I do?

Rocky called and I flat out lied to her. I told her Trevor and I talked when we hadn't. By Monday, I was desperate enough to call his job to speak to him. I was flabbergasted to find out he was no longer working there. I knew there were times he hated his job, but he always said it was worth it for us and our future. I called his phone, only to receive the message that the number had been disconnected.

I was devastated. I felt so many different emotions that I just couldn't handle, so I didn't. I went numb, staying on autopilot the rest of the week. I woke up, fed Justine, went to work only to repeat the same pattern all over again. I didn't answer phone calls, respond to text or even look at the notifications on my phone. They weren't from Trevor, so I wanted nothing to do with them.

On Sunday of the second weekend, there was knocking on my door. I looked through the peephole. It was Rocky, Amber and Sammy. I would have left them outside, but Amber had her kids so I let them in. They came with a ton of food. After the kids were set up in the living room with the movie Home, we sat down at the dining room table. They made me a plate. I pushed the food around, taking small bites before telling the truth.

"He said he needed a break and that he couldn't give me what I wanted. That was two weeks ago. I haven't heard from him since." I confessed, devoid of any emotions.

Amber reached over and grabbed my hand while Rocky sat back and thought to herself. When Sammy pulled out her phone, mumbling curses, I stopped her.

"His phone is cut off. He doesn't even work at his job anymore."

"I'll see if Corey has talked to him. Rocky, call Bilal and see what he knows." Sammy snapped into action.

Rocky hesitated, before nodding. "What were y'all fighting about?"

"I don't know. He went to Austin and I thought we were ok. He came home and said he couldn't do this anymore." I answered.

Sammy hung up her phone. "Corey said they texted last week, but he didn't know his number changed. His going to email him as soon as he gets off work."

"Do you think there might be someone else in the picture?" Amber asked.

The thought briefly crossed my mind, but I couldn't think about it. I shrugged.

Sammy cleared her throat. "That's a possibility. Especially if he thought you were fooling around with Forrest. I know you said he wasn't jealous, but he was. I could tell."

I flinched at her words. Trevor admitted he was envious of our friendship- maybe Sammy was right. The trip to Florida was to keep me away from Forrest. The following weekend, while Trevor was out of town, he had to see videos of me at Forrest's house like I was on an episode of Cribs. How stupid could I be? Tears sprang in my eyes but I didn't let them fall. God, shouldn't I be cried out by now?

"Even if that's true, his job, changing his number and disappearing? That's extreme. I don't know what's going on, but we'll figure it out. At the very least, he owes you an explanation." Rocky stated.

"I agree. Wait it out Lily. Trevor's gonna realize he made a huge mistake. I know it." Amber encouraged me.

I said nothing; just went back to picking at my plate.

"I think you should come stay with me." Rocky suggested.

"Or me. I'm closer to your job. It'll be like old times." Sammy offered.

I shook my head. "No, I signed a new lease. I'm staying here."

"Lily, your fish are dead. When's the last time you took Justine out or went grocery shopping?" Rocky interrogated me.

I looked down, ashamed. I forgot all about the stupid fish that Trevor named Thing 1 and Thing 2. I changed Justine's potty pads and made sure she had food and fresh water, but I didn't get out of bed unless it was for work. I ate lunchables and sandwiches from the shop at my job and that was only because my stomach growled embarrassingly in front of clients. That was the only shopping I did.

"Give yourself a break. It'll just be temporarily and it would help me out a lot too. I like having Justine around. And you too." Rocky added, with a soft smile.

I nodded and packed a bag for me and Justine. With Rocky's supervision, on the third week I returned back to the land of living. I worked out, walked Justine, and finally went through my phone. Chad sent me messages regarding the house and Forrest sent random text about the 49ers and how bad they were doing. Ethan also sent me the information to his church for EJ's performance. Part of me wanted not to go, but I couldn't do that to EJ. Amber and Corey were going too, so I planned to go as well.

There wasn't a moment that went by that I didn't think about Trevor. I wondered where he was, what he was doing, and if he was thinking about me too. Sammy was right in the regards of something being up with Trevor. I felt something was wrong for a long time now, but I always let it go. I realized Rocky was right: I was owed an explanation. When I finally heard from him or find out where he was, I was demanding answers. Like Amber said, I had no choice but to wait it out.

On Wednesday, the last day of September, I had my interview with Dr. Tran for the team lead position. Unlike my first interview, I wasn't nervous or anxious about the job. The worst that could happen was I didn't get it. That didn't bother me at all. It was easy to prove I was dedicated to my career. I would give my all, work hard and be flexible because really, what else did I have going for me? Apparently, I was convincing because Dr. Tran offered me the position. I agreed and thanked him for the opportunity.

Thankful, Corey texted me Friday to see if I wanted to drive to the church in McKinney together. I automatically assumed it would be on Sunday, but apparently, it was a week long revival and EJ was performing with the youth choir Friday. I told Corey I would met him there because I had to drive straight from work.

After I got off work as early as I could, I threw a button up blouse over my scrubs and hailed ass to the church. I was about 20 minutes late, but quickly found Corey and slid in the pew towards the back next to him.

"Did I miss anything?" I asked him, quietly.

"A few "Hallelujahs" and "Praise the Lord", but the youth choir hasn't performed yet." Corey smiled at me.

I forced a little smile too, before turning my attention to the pastor. He was preaching about Autumn and how it was the season of harvest. He applied it to life and how everyone had to reap what they sowed. He told us not to sow tomatoes and expect to get cucumbers out the ground. Whatever we put into the ground is what was coming back up. He went on about how we cause thing to happen in our life by what we sowed whether it be good or bad- In relationships, careers, family and especially our children.

I couldn't help but wonder what I sowed in the ground. Maybe I was doomed from the start-I didn't even know who my biological dad was and my mother abandoned me. It was what my parent sowed into me- I was the reaping of their mistakes.

The sermon concluded with the pastor urging us to give our life to God. Through prayer and his love, we could change what we sowed. The youth choir performed a melody of uplifting, gospel songs. I didn't recognize one, but I enjoyed them. The children's voices sounded so innocent and sweet and EJ looked so comfortable and confident on the drums. If he made a mistake, I didn't hear it.

"He crushed it." Corey said, confirming my thoughts. I smiled the first genuine smile in three weeks. After testimonies and more singing from the adult choir, the revival ended.

Corey and I stayed seated in the pew as the church members greeted each other.

"I heard from Trevor. We've been emailing back and forth. He never responds to my questions about you, but he's in Wichita Falls. I think with his mom." Corey told me.

In that moment, I knew it was truly over between Trevor and me. He told me he wanted nothing to do with his mom because how she felt about me. A lot of things didn't add up but one thing was abundantly clear- he no longer wanted to be with me.

"I can get the address. Tell him I wanna send something to him. Then you can go see him-" I cut him off, shaking my head. There was no way I could face him or his mom.

Corey went over to speak to Dave, Megan's live in boyfriend, while I made my way over to Amber, Will and their kids. They looked picture perfect matching in Brown and white attire.

"You made it... in scrubs." Amber greeted me, giving me a glance over before hugging me.

"Yeah, I literally sped from work to get here." I said, before hugging the girls and scooping Robbie up for a hug.

"That's why I traded to get off." Amber said.

"Well, now that I got promoted to team lead, I won't have that option." I said, plastering on a smile.

"Lily, congratulations! We gotta celebrate!" Amber exclaimed.

The church cleared out and we were able to congratulate EJ on his performance outside the church. Ethan and Megan stood beside EJ looking like the poster board for blended families with Dave and Serena nearby. All his grandparents were in attendance and you could tell how proud they were. As happy as I was for EJ, it was hard to be around.

That's why I turned down Mrs. Carter invitation to go out for dinner. I wasn't in the mood to be around them. In the past, I would have gone and faked it just to be polite, but I was done with that. I went back to Rocky's house, determined to figure out my life without Trevor in it.

49 comments:

  1. This post seriously depressed me, especially having gone through a recent breakup myself. That being said, you are the best blog writer that I read.

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    1. Agreed! I don't know if i've ever been so engrossed in a blog before. Good, bad, or indifferent... Janay is one of the best writers, hands down!

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  2. I'm dying to know what the heck is going on with Trevor. This was so weird!!

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  3. This is seriously what I am talking about in my blog, as much as it sucks what Penelope is going through this would be way worse.

    Speaking of which thank you for adding me to your blog roll and I am leaving a shameless plug here! :)

    The next post is up, please check out my blog!

    http://othersideofpenny.blogspot.com

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  4. I'm guessing Trevor's mom is really sick (like cancer) and he wants to make her happy by ending his relationship with lily.

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  5. That was soooo depressing, I hate to admit it because it sounds pathetic but I don't think I can keep reading, I know I will think about this post until the next one next week and just feel sad and down. I need to read something more uplifting on a Friday

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  6. I'm glad Trevor is gone. Saying that he really sucks. I don't care what the reason is no one deserves to live with the questions Lilly is living with. I agree with the commenter above I picture his mom has a terminal illness. If he really loved lily he could have got her to agree to date in secret until his mom passed.

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  7. Well............ This entire post pretty much just crushed my soul.

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    1. Also, if Trevor ended his relationship with Lily to give his mom one last "wish come true" as someone suggested above.... he never loved Lily. I am sorry. You don't just do that to someone you love, no matter what happens. What he is doing is completely unforgivable. If I were Lily I would move full-steam ahead and tell Trevor to screw-off as soon as he makes his inevitable appearance back into her life. Seriously, screw Trevor. I hate him now and I was ALWAYS #TeamTrevor. I don't think anything Janay could write would make me like him again.

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  8. You're seriously one of the best writers! I always get sucked in and can feel exactly what the characters are feeling! Seriously can't wait to see what happens...

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  9. For some reason my comment didn't post, but! what I was saying before is my theory is just like someone said above, that Trevor's mom is dying. And that in his stupid mind, he thinks he can get back together with Lily after his mom dies, which is why he said "break" Just a theory! Anyways I was always team ethan anyways but thanks for the post!! Definitely a great plot twist and I hope Lily starts to mature a little bit with this break up!

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  10. It's funny, I was so sad after Tuesday's post, hoping he would just come to his senses about whatever he did. But after reading today's post, idk, I just read the situation completely different. He clearly is keeping something from Lily and whatever it is, he did not keep up his end of the deal about being completely honest with each other.

    I just hope Lily can move forward with her life and someone will see what she has to offer and won't shut her out to protect her, or whatever he's doing. I also was always #TeamTrevor. Now I'm #TeamLily, she deserves to be treated better that than.

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  11. I wish this was a book so we could figure out who she ends up with already it's too stressful. I'm sad because I love the writing and some of the characters but I can't let a blog make me this upset about a break up. I loath all the other men mentioned for her and she said her end guy was already introduced so I'm thinking this may not be the blog for me anymore :(

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  12. My heart is broken. THANKS JANAY!

    Haha. No but really. Honestly, there is NOTHING Trevor could EVER do to make things right. I can't even wrap my head around what he did. *I* feel devastated and broken for Lily.

    Kudos, Janay!!

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  13. I recently got broken up with by my ex of six years. He shut me out exactly like that and I still don't have answers. This nailed so many emotions I've felt and all the heart break. Right down to the rapid firing texts of being done one minute, to saying sorry and I love you the next. And also the determination and confidence of making the relationship work no matter what. I feel like you just wrote about my break up haha. You're an incredible writer, thank you for sharing your talent with us. I haven't been able to put into words what I've been going through, but somehow you've managed to. Seriously talented.

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  14. Awwwww I have unfortunately had this happen to me as well. It's not a good feeling. Janay you are an amazing writer. Truly talented!! I don't care what happened that was a terrible decision on his part not to even give her an explanation. She deserves more than that. Especially because she has shared her fear of people leaving her.

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  15. Wow! This was hard to read and not because of Trevor, but because of lily. I needed to keep reminding myself that she's only 25 and this is the first time someone breaks up with her. But girl needs to love herself more, seriously! You should never beg someone to be with you. I was all for it when she sent him that pic of his stuff and yelled at him, and then she takes it back?
    I don't care what his reason for dumping her is, you don't do that to someone you love. Trevor has always thought he knows what's best for Lily and that's what he's doing now, just deciding for her what's best. So this is nothing new to me.
    Lily does have a choice, she doesn't need wait for Trevor to come back with explanations. She shouldn't sit around and wait for him to come back, she needs to live her life the best that she can. And when he comes back she needs to send him away! I can't believe he's ghosting her like that, that's the worst thing anyone could do!
    You rip what YOU sow meaning it doesn't matter what Lily's parents did, all that matters is what lily does. She's a good person, she's very nice & giving to her friends. She doesn't deserve the way Trevor is treating her. She deserves a lot better and she will get it one day.
    Great writing Janay, it's all about bringing out emotions in all of us and you sure have!
    Luita

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    1. Reap******

      It is, you reap what you sow.

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  16. The plan all along was to make us believe they were in love then change the guys character completely?! I agree with others I don't like the other guys in her life and it sucks that you wrote this new twist now everyone hates trevor. I feel for lily and it makes me angry at Trevor but it's still hard to think they're really over. The pov we have seen multiple times from him didn't read like someone who would do this. Her end game can't be Trevor because every reader turned on him.
    I don't think I'm up for reading the next 15 posts because I can't be sad after each one and it will take many posts for me to forget about how much I liked them together.
    Can you put me out of my misery Janay and tell me how many posts should I take a hiatus from lol, I can't do sad lily right now it makes me feel too much. If it were a movie we'd know there's light at the end of the tunnel.
    I know I'm the only left but if something tragic has happened to Trevor or his family I still care, I've read about Trevor for a long time now and it's hard to just shut that out. Doesn't mean I think he should ghost her though

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    1. I agree that he shouldn't ghost her but believe it or not (to me at least) this is totally realistic. A couple years ago, after dating for 6 months, my boyfriend came to my house like he always did (we were long distance so he drove 2 hours) we got into a really really REALLY stupid fight 5 minutes after he got there. Then he left. Literally just left.

      I called and texted and begged and pleaded but he refused to answer any of that. The one time I did talk to him a week later he told me he needed to work on some things with himself. We didn't speak for 3 months. I never got my closure I was so confused.

      So yeah Trevor shouldn't have done it but it makes him more realistic because I've had it done to me. And I'm wondering how this all will work out because that boyfriend was crazy jealous all the time. I just married him last year. He really did take the time to work on himself and he changed his jealous ways. I used our broken up time to work on me and I fixed some less than desirable things too. Maybe Lily's story will play out similiar

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  17. It baffles me how many people threaten to stop reading because the story line isn't going their way. Wtf, do you walk out half way through a good ass movie just cuz you don't like a bad moment? Nah, didn't think so.

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    1. The movie wouldn't last 15 hrs or longer, the blog is once or twice a week slowly progressing so I can see the anxiousness of dragging out hard to read stuff.

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    2. Agreed. I was so pissed that Jake ended but I wasn't like "you've lost a reader, peace". Also most of the other blogs are inconsistent with posting. This is seriously the best fiction blog

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    3. I agree! It feels as if people are throwing a fit cause things don't go their way. The choice is yours to read or not to read, but do you have to tell the author? There's a few blogs I stopped reading, but kept that all to myself. I survived the Lily-Jake break up, you guys will survive this too.
      Luita

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    4. Jake treated her like crap in the one month they were together, Ethan was always talking down to her and assumed she aborted their baby instead of thinking she had a miscarriage. Those guys suckered as options. This whole break up all of a sudden shutting her out seems so forced. Some people made a choice to never like Trevor and no matter what he did that was nice they would comment they didn't like him now it's like they're all giddy and blowing up the comment board, it's pretty entertaining. Whatever happens is the authors choice, I do think people have a right to not like the choice though

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  18. I still like Trevor. I am shocked at his behavior, but I honestly think there is something wrong. Not with his mom, but with him. If he, himself, is ill, I can see him going to ground because of his traumatic experiences with his dad and not wanting Lily to see him like that. I know it all sucks how how has handled this, but I think his freaking out here is not him just doing a runner on Lily. Something is wrong. I still hope it all comes to light and that things can be worked out. This is too abrupt of a change and Lily's texts act as a timeline--all the things he wanted for the two of them. He does love her and I think he is some sort of serious trouble.
    Sara

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    1. Good point. He's had anger issues in the past that have freaked out other characters so maybe something happened on one of his trips and now he's scared of himself (as a dad/husband). Or someone pointed it out to him. I still think it might have to do with his mom too, lol.

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  19. If she gets back together with him after this I'm gonna freak. She deserves better. Someone who truly loves you would ever do that to someone. I don't care how much apologizing he does. He doesn't deserve another chance.

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    1. And that's why there's zero chance janay will put them back together, nobody seems to care about his pov

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    2. Lots of people care about his pov. I may not be one, but lots of others do. I'm just the type of person that if someone can be that much of a douche to someone they love so much, they don't deserve another chance. Because if you truly love someone, you don't do this. You give a reason. You give them some for of explanation. Period.

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  20. I must admit I am a bit taken aback at how many comments talk about how awful Trevor is. He has, up until this point, been nothing but positive and supportive of Lily. In fact, he put up with quite a bit from her and still was around. Obviously something has gone seriously wrong with him, and while his lack of communication stinks, the fact that people are acting like his character is the worst person in the world is quite strange. He has almost from the start been my favorite character because he was funny, cheerful and positive and I hope things with him can be solved. I am still firmly Team Trevor.

    Even scarier to me is the number of readers who want to see Lily back with Jake. Seriously? He was controlling and jealous when they were a couple, all but stalked her when they broke up (showing up where ever she was. Brandon and Jasmine both even made reference to him being hung up on Lily.) Now he has a girlfriend (Dino) and the last time he saw Lily blew her off almost as if she didn't exist. That alone hints to me that he hasn't changed--he is a self involved jerk. I would hate to see Lily back with him. That ship has sailed.

    I know people talk also about Ethan and Forrest, but Ethan is with Serena now and seems quite happy and I admit I am really intrigued by the idea of Forrest with Rocky.

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    1. I agree anon. While I think it sucks I don't think it's the "worst" thing ever. Now if he cheated I would be saying otherwise but based on the numerous posts and his pov's he did love her and even though they both had to work on communication it's normal. Trevor never had a girlfriend, Becca barely counts, and lily only had messed up ones so they were working on things. I think there's something really wrong.
      I think some people just Never wanted to like him so it wouldn't matter if they seemed perfect together or not.
      The thought of her with Forrest feels like a brother and sister getting together, Ethan thinks he's too good for her and Jake was a terrible boyfriend, even he would throw a tantrum and not talk to her until she went running to him. It is weird to hear people like him but again it's probably because they chose to like him and didn't really matter what he did. JJ

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    2. Anon #1 - I don't agree with the part about Trevor. I think everybody holds Lily to a higher standard and makes her highly accountable for all her wrong-doings, why shouldn't we with Trevor? He has messed up his relationship with Lily in a HUGE way. I am guessing you have never been ghosted by a significant other, when you have no idea why and can't get any explanation? That is a HORRIBLE thing to do to someone you supposedly love and respect. I also loved Trevor for as long as I can remember reading this blog with him in it. But he should be held accountable for what he has done to Lily. I think they COULD work it out, but he is going to have to really work to do it (and Lily too, if she even wants to). You can't do that if one person in the relationship has a constant fear that the other person is going to run away and ghost you every time there is a problem. Their relationship is never going to be the same after this. He did that.

      I agree that I HATE Lily with any of the other guys currently in this story. Jake, Ethan, Forrest, Blake, BLAH!!!! HATE IT. I will be so disappointed if Lily ends up with one of them. Just.... yuck.

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  21. Did I miss a post from the writer about her posting schedule? She only posted two times last week and it is already Tuesday and still nothing? I'm having withdrawal symptoms!! Neeeeed my "readfix"!

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  22. I keep checking for an update - I can't wait any longer....... I just have to know what is going on - this must be what Lily is feeling. lol

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  23. I've only refreshed this blog about 30,000 times since yesterday.... No big deal............. hahahah. DYING to read the next post!

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    Replies
    1. Bhahaha. Me too!

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    2. Me too!! On pins and needles waiting!!!

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  24. Replies
    1. Thank goodness!!! I've just about refreshed this page 15 times since the last post

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  25. Janay,
    Its 4h30 am in South Africa and im here checking for an update, please please give us a post, we are dying here :)

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    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry, I'm having internet issues on my home computer. Worst case scenario, it will be up tomorrow morning.

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    2. Murphy's law! Things never work right when they really need to. :)

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    3. Ah another reader from South Africa! Cool :)

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  26. I am having panic attacks over here! I hope your internet issues clear up soon...

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