Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Any Man of Mine (Intro)

"This is what a woman wants
Any man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I'm ugly he still better love me
And I can be late for a date that's fine
But he better be on time 
Any man of mine'll say it fits just right
When last year's dress is just a little too tight
And anything I do or say better be okay
When I have a bad hair day 
And if I change my mind
A million times
I wanna hear him say
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I like it that way" Any Man of Mine by Shania Twain


"I like it." Trevor said, as we looked at another house on his laptop in bed.

"You've liked all of them. Can you be a little bit more specific about what you like about it?" I replied, turning away from the screen to look at him.

"It looks nice and it's in our price range with 4 bedroom." Trevor elaborated.

"You can't judge off pictures alone. The reason it's in our price range is because it's all the way in Allen. Think about our commute to work everyday." I countered.

"Why did you even ask me if you ruled it out?" Trevor chuckled.

"I didn't rule it out. I asked because I need to know what you like and don't like so we can have an idea of what we want." I told him, trying to keep a positive attitude about the whole thing.

Honestly, his lack of opinions was frustrating the hell out of me. Chad had gotten back to us with a price range based off of what was pre-approved for us. Now, we were officially, seriously looking for a house. At least, I was. Trevor's generic answers were not helping us narrow down our choices.

"I need to see the house before I can say whether I like it or not." Trevor yawned, stretching on the couch.

"We can't see every house Chad comes across in our budget. I need to know your preferences so we can narrow them down." I explained.

"Lilypad, I don't have preferences. I trust you. If you're happy, I'm happy. Go ahead and pick the ones you like so we can look at them, ok?" Trevor asked.

No, not ok. I shouldn't be the one having to narrow it down by myself! You pushed for us buying a house, now you trust me to do this alone? Bullshit!

"Ok babe." I nodded, channeling my frustration into determination to find the right house for us.

"Let's go to bed." Trevor said, ending my plans to continue searching.

I nodded again and we went to bed. Sleep was still hard to come by, so I laid there, staring at the ceiling until I fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up early and made breakfast for Trevor and me. After Trevor left, I called Forrest. I figured he just went through the home buying adventure. Maybe he could help me out.

"My price range and being in Lewisville decided my house for me. I just needed a second opinion on the house itself." Forrest informed me.

"Urgh, so do I. Trevor's putting it all on me. He says he trust me." I complained.

Forrest chuckled. "You have a long list of things you want-make a shorter list of what you need and have Chad do the rest." Forrest suggested.

"Good idea. How did you meet Chad by the way?" I asked.

"He's a family friends of the Dennisons. Speaking of, did y'all reserve hotel rooms yet?" Forrest asked.

"Hotel rooms for what?" I asked, confused.

"The mud run. Jordan and you were talking about it last weekend when we got you registered. Did you forget?"

"Forrest, I was so drunk, I don't even remember registering." I whined. "When is it?"

"This weekend. Y'all are still coming, right? " Forrest asked.

"Of course. Um, I have a question for you." I started.

"Sure, shoot."

"Did you invite Serena?" I asked.

"Not personally but I didn't have to. She normally does the banquet unless she's out of town. Why do you ask?"

"I saw her last weekend and she asked about you. She doesn't know if or how she should reach out." I answered.

He was quiet for a moment, before he said, "I'll send her an email making sure she has the information."

"Ok. Send me the email too."

"I sent it to Trevor..."

"Like I said, send it to me."



I decided to head to where Dino's dad ran his boxing class for a workout before work. I knew Dino wouldn't be there, but I needed a good work out. I still ran with Justine everyday, but I decided to increase my workouts to help me sleep at night. Sparring with a punching bag and a random stranger sounded so much more fun than working out on machines at the gym.

When I took the class, I wasn't paired up with a random person. Dominick, Dino's brother that helped Trevor and me move, was there. He trained and competed in a local MMA group and worked out with at his dad class all the time in the morning. We paired up and worked out together. He was as much as a perfectionist as he dad when it came to technique, but he coached me teasingly, making me smile at his antics.

That night after work, I did what Forrest suggested and wrote the things that I needed in our house. I stayed up again, thinking about our house and our future together. Buying a house made everything real. This was going to be the house we lived in for at least 10 years if we were going by the pre-approved loans. It was one thing hypothetical planning our life together; now, we were really doing it.

Ohmygod, is it normal to be this freaked out about buying a house?

It was a lot to freak out about and it sucked even more that I couldn't voice my concerns to Trevor. He would think I was being negative or doubting us when I was just concerned. I pushed my questions aside and settle on what I needed in a house. I needed a backyard for Justine, at least 3 bedrooms, and a location close to both of our jobs. That settled, I closed my eyes. Once I forced myself to stop thinking, my exhausted body did the rest and I sleep the entire night through.

After I got home from work Friday night, I headed straight for the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of red wine. I need my sleep for the mud run and nothing put me out quicker than hot food and cold wine. I greeted Trevor in the living room and gave him a kiss.

"Chad sent us more listing today. Wanna take a look?" Trevor asked.

I groaned. "How bout Sunday?"

"Ok, but we need to start seeing places soon. August is right around the corner. We gotta start thinking about it." Trevor said, putting his laptop away.

I fought the urge to scream at him it wasn't like picking out a pair of shoes were you just saw the shoe and hoped it fucking fit. I had been thinking of nothing else since we decided to buy a fucking house. I wanted to strangle him for leaving me to figure out on my own because he didn't have "preferences".

"I know. I'm making a list of things we need so it'll be easier. We'll look at them Sunday. Promise." I said instead, pouring myself a huge, fat glass of wine.

"I'm guessing you wanna stay in for dinner?" Trevor asked, eying my glass.

I nodded, still drinking my wine,

Trevor smiled at me. "What do you want to eat?"

"I don't know. Something different." I trailed off.

"Chinese?" Trevor offered.

I shrugged. "Ok."

I really wasn't thrilled about Chinese, but it was better than pizza or burgers. We ordered spicy lo mien, sweet and sour chicken, Moo shu beef, fried rice and wontons.

"You are not going to eat all that." Trevor said when I finished ordering.

"I can try."

And I did. Part of me knew I was eating so much because I was stressing out. I told that part of me I've been working out twice a day and I had a mud run coming up, so shut the fuck up. I didn't finish all the food but left quite a dent. I slept peacefully the whole night through.

I woke up Saturday and got ready for the mud run. We put on our double layers of clothes, packed for the hotel, and headed to Jordan's place.

"I like your top. Is it new?" I complimented Jordan's athletic, neon orange Nike jersey tank.

"This is so old." Jordan said as she sat in the car. "but thanks."

"Oh, I've never seen you wear it before."

"'Cause I didn't have to pretend to be athletic for Derek anymore. In fact, he bought this for me on my birthday. I'm wearing it so I can trash it after today." Jordan told us.

We got to Fort Worth for the mud run early.  We got our wrist bands on and figured out what heat we were in. We were running the 2nd heat with Forrest and Blake. I forgot to take off my charm bracelet so Jordan stored it in her purse for me since I didn't bring one.

"I can't hold back for you Trevor so I'll meet you at the finish line." I taunted Trevor as I helped him stretch.

"Yeah? Good luck with that considering you ate like 5 pounds of Chinese food last night." Trevor responded, reaching over to pat my thigh.

"5 pounds?" Jordan exclaimed.

"Damn girl!" Blake chuckled.

"Now I want Chinese food." Forrest smiled.

"You shut up. Trevor. It wasn't that much!" I protested.

During the first heat, we lined up and watched, giving Trevor pointers on the course. When it was our turn, we all took off together. The course this year started off with monkey bars over a pit of muddy water. My upper body strength surprised me as I went through them with no problems. No one tickled me off the bars this year, so that helped a lot too.

Blake was able to keep up with me, with Forrest trailing us. Jordan and Trevor fell into the water, but we didn't wait for them. We took on to the next obstacle of hurdles and trenches.

Blake took the lead on the tires and kept it for the rest of the course. Forrest and I were neck and neck on the last obstacle, running the outside of the mud pit. Even on the outside, I managed to get stuck and struggled to pull myself out. When I finally got out and ran to the finish line, Forrest had just made it and Blake was cheering for himself.

I stood, scrapping off mud while I waited for Trevor and Jordan. When people from the third heat started to cross the finish line, I started to get worried. Finally, they emerged, running together, dripping water, sweat and mud with huge smiles on their faces.

"I did it!" Jordan cheered, breathlessly. Even covered in mud, you could tell how excited she was. Her green eyes shone radiantly as her blond ponytail bounced around as she danced.

Trevor laughed, giving her a one arm hug.

"Yeah... What took y'all so long?" I asked, watching them, not sure why I was annoyed at Trevor touching her.

Jordan smile faltered, while Trevor shot me a glance. "I was going to skip an obstacle, but Trevor made me go back in do it." Jordan explained.

"Yeah, and you did it right? Congratulations!" Trevor cheered her on.

"Thank you." She looked around before turning to me. "Where's Blake?"

"Headed to the showers. We should go too." I said.

We peeled off our outer layer of clothes and got into the showers. Afterwards, we grabbed complimentary towels and flip flops before we headed back to the registration table for beer. There we found Blake and Forrest talking with Serena and Ethan.

"Hey you two!" I said, with a smile. "Do you want a hug?" I asked Serena.

"No! I ran the race once so I know you need 3 hot showers before all the mud is gone." Serena declined.

"You did ok the first time. Why didn't you race with Ethan this year?" Forrest asked her.

"Once was good enough. I donate at the banquet now. You know that." Serena remarked.

"You can do that?" Jordan asked.

"Yeah, but what's the fun in that?" Blake said, putting his arm around Jordan. Serena and I exchanged knowing looks before we settled with beers to watch the remaining heats.

We went to the hotel that was hosting the banquet when everyone was done. It was where Jordan reserved rooms too, so we checked in before going to the banquet.

I changed into a black romper with a festive embroidery. I paired it with red Keds and was ready to go. My hair was towered dried wavy and the only make-up I was wearing was brown liner, gold shimmer and rose gloss.

We waited before picking Jordan up. She looked like country Barbie in a super short white sequin lace dress, her hair in loose curls, full face of make-up and white cowboy boots I gave to her.

We filled up our plates with BBQ. After we ate, we headed to the same bar we went to the first year we came. It was still the same with a mechanical bull and corn hole tables on the patio, oversized games and an arcade inside and bars serving signature shots while country/pop blared from the speakers on the patio and outside.

The girls waited for a cornhole table while the guys went to get us drinks. When a table opened up, we paired off to play. I teamed up with Forrest since Trevor never played before. We played against Serena and Ethan. When we beat them, Serena took Ethan away to introduce him to more of her friends.

Blake headed to the bar a little after they left, leaving Jordan partner-less.

"Trevor, come play with me!" Jordan asked him.

"No, play with me." I blurted out.

"Yeah, even out the teams." Forrest agreed.

We played, and it was a pretty evenly matched but Trevor and I eventually won. I drank at least one fishbowl punch and bragged boastful.

"How are you a sore winner?" Trevor asked me, raising an eyebrow at me.

"How are you a lame winner?" I told him, before giving him a kiss.

We joined Blake at the bar for shots.

"I love this song!" Jordan cooed when a country song I didn't recognize came on. Jordan didn't even listen to country. "Wanna dance Blake?"

"Maybe later." Blake said, putting down his shot before walking off. He headed straight for Serena. I didn't see Ethan with her.

"Let me go stop him before he does something stupid." Forrest sighed, following him.

"What does he mean?" Jordan asked.

"Blake is jealous." I chuckled.

"Of who?" Jordan asked, confused.

"Ethan. I bet you he has feelings for Serena. He wouldn't be jealous if he didn't." I concluded.

"Let's go dance." Trevor suggested. We went to the dance floor and danced around to the music. Everyone started line dancing when a Shania Twain song came on. I never learned how to line dance and I didn't really have a desire to start. Even if I wanted to learn, Jordan already grabbed Trevor to dance with her. I turned away from them and left.

I headed to the arcade games and played Mortal Kombat by myself. I picked Kitana and let her unleash my- er, her rage on our opponents.

"Do you know who that guy is talking to Serena?"

 I looked over briefly to see Ethan beside me. Then I looked to where he was staring. Sure enough, Serena was talking to Blake with Forrest by his side, looking like he was trying to coax him to leave.

"Um, Forrest?" I said, before returning to my game.

"You know that's not who I'm talking about." Ethan said, sternly.

I bite my lip. "Fine. That's Blake."

"Did they use to date?" Ethan asked.

"No..." I started. "It was never official, like me and you. Kinda funny when you think about it."

"Not really. For how long?" Ethan continued to question me.

"You would have to ask her that. Maybe tonight, on the way home. Don't make a scene." I told him.

Ethan gave me a look that said I should know better. "I think she told me about him. That's the only reason I ask."

"So...ever played Mortal Kombat?" I asked.

"That wasn't subtle, but I'll let you change the subject." He said, putting a quarter in the game. He chose Liu Kang and we battled against each other. He won the first round and I chalked it up to beginner's luck.

 "My dad used to drop Brandon and me off at the arcade almost every Saturday night when we were kids." Ethan informed me before the second round started.

"You know that was just a ploy to get y'all out of the house so he could fuck your mom?" I told him as he got dangerously close to winning round two.

"Yes, we knew back then." He said, gripping the joystick tight. I was able to beat him the second round.

We played the 3rd round and he beat me.

"Just making sure you put that together.. How long did they kick y'all out for?" I asked him, putting more money in the machine.

"Are we gonna play again? Or are we gonna discuss my parent's sex life? " He asked me.

I beat him the first round, and I was barely  holding on to a lead on the 2nd.

"They probably did it in your room too." I added. "All over your Batman covered twin mattress."

Ethan started laughing, which allowed me to finish him with a series of fan blades.

"You play dirty." He shook his head. "No Batman sheets and they never did that."

"I play to win." I laughed too. "You know they did though."

"No they didn't."

"Yes, they did. I'm looking at houses right now and that's my number one criteria- Can I have sex in this room?" I joked.

"You and Trevor are looking at houses?" Ethan asked, putting two more quarters in the game.

"That wasn't subtle, but I'll let you change the subject." I smiled. "But yeah, were looking, or I'm looking really." I corrected.

Ethan nodded. "I gave Megan guidelines, but I let her picked out the house."

"Trevor doesn't even give me guidelines. He's just like, I trust you. I don't have preferences. Which really means, I don't care."

"Maybe he doesn't have preferences. Not everyone is detail oriented." Ethan said, neutrally, while we continued to play.

"That's right. Man code. Gotta stick together- right, wrong, or indifferent." I scoffed.

"Can I give you some pointers?" He asked.

"Why? I'm kicking your ass."

"No you're not. I believe we're tied. I meant tips for house hunting." Ethan said.

"Please." I nodded.

He gave me pointers about things I didn't think about. Like factors that could help with reselling the house and making sure I have my own inspector take a look at the property. We played and he gave me tips. Soon, I lost track of who won and lost because I was hanging on to his advice.

"Can you do me a favor and email me all of this? I really want to remember everything." I requested.

"Of course."

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure. Doesn't mean I'll answer it. Especially if it has anything to to with my parents or sex." He smirked.

I smiled. "No. What happened with the house when you and Megan split? I know it's different because y'all had EJ, but you weren't married. How did you work that out?"

"We had it worked out before we bought the house." Ethan answered.

"Really? Even though you were engaged? It wasn't-" I struggled, thinking how to put it.

"It wasn't what?" Ethan pushed me.

"It's not the most- optimistic way to think about buying a house or getting married." I said.

"Maybe not, but it's the smartest." Ethan stated.

I frowned, wondering how I could explain that to Trevor without making it sound like a plan b or protecting myself.

"You have to plan for every outcome Lilian."

I was so thrown off by him calling me Lilian. Nobody called me that besides my dad. "Lilian?"

"I want your attention. It's not optimistic or pessimistic. It's reality. Breakups happen. Hope it doesn't, but if it does, don't make it harder on yourself by not having a plan."

"Ok E." I nodded.

"I'm serious Lilian."

"I'm serious too. That's why I called you E because I call you Ethan all the time. That makes sense to me." I responded.

"Good. Try to think of it like this Lily-Trevor cares enough about you that he wants you to be okay if you two break up."

"I will." I didn't even correct him about it being me that wanted some kind of clause or something in writing. "What's the score?" I asked him.

He looked down at the game. "I really don't remember."

"Winner takes all?" I offered.

"You're on."

Before we put money in the game, Serena joined us. "There you are. Are you ready?" Serena asked Ethan.

Ethan put the money back in his pocket. "Whenever you are."

"I'm ready. Trevor is looking for you Lily. He was out on the patio." Serena let me know.

"Thanks, I better go find him. Bye you guys. See y'all later." I waved at them before I left to find Trevor.

I went outside and found him. On the mechanical bull. With Jordan.


14 comments:

  1. Ugh Jordan is annoying stop hanging out with her. And lily is being annoying too. Can we get lily back from before she whined about everything. As annoying as it is that she found them riding the bull I don't think it's that big a deal, she should back off hanging out with Jordan and at least tell Trevor she didn't like it though

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jordan is awful. I get that she probably wants to feel wanted, but maybe talk to single guys. And Trevor needs to grow up. I wanted them together so badly, but he just seems like such a child. Idk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was riding the bull which I guess is kiddish but not really sure what he did here that makes him seem like such a child.
      He doesn't have any preferences on a house, as annoying as that is I can see that to a point, he wants her happy. He told Jordan to not skip an obsticle and was being nice to her but never felt he was being flirtatious. Lily clearly is annoyed as we can see with her actions but if she is she needs to talk which like a child she never does. Lily has been driving me nuts lately. She has a man who adores her and has done sweet things yet all she does lately is complain, she needs to snap out of it.

      Delete
  3. I agree. Lily is different from before the break that the writer took. It's really hard to feel connected to her character with the instability she brings to the picture. I've always really enjoyed this blog, but it has been off as of late. I really want to know if something happened in the authors life that is causing this weird vibe or if there really is an underlying motive to the whole storyline that will eventually become apparent.

    ReplyDelete
  4. As far as the storyline questions go, the tone is definitely different because Lily is transitioning right now. I've always said to see the story through Lily's eyes, but I will explain what's going on from my point of view.

    (A little spoiler alert, I guess?)

    Normally, most people go from dependency with their parents, to being independent when they leave home to co-dependency with their significant other. (Can you tell there is a shrink in my family? Lol) Lily has gone through all those phases in a short period of time. Add that to her low self esteem, anger issues, and other character's crazy, it's not picture perfect right now. She's dealing with it the best way she knows how.

    I've always said I'll end the blog with Lily running off into the sunset. The blog is not over because she hasn't meet her endgame; it's because she still has issues she needs to work out. I understand fictional blogs can be an escape from real life with rainbows and butterflies, but that has never been what this blog is only about. I'm telling Lily's story, and it is what it is right now.

    That being said, stick with me. The mood/tone will be changing soon! During the break I took, I was able to map everything out. So even if it's hard to relate to what she is going through right now, hopefully it's easy to appreciate the changes coming.

    School is starting and I have two kids wanting to live up the last of their summer days so I have less time to write. Other than that, nothing's going on with my life- besides the norm of balancing family, raising kids and working lol.

    I also had a question about my time and schedule Right now I'm posting Tuesday and Thursday and I'm in central (US) time. I can't promise a time right now.

    Thank you all for reading and commenting. I appreciate it more than you will ever know :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. What is so annoying about Lily having some concerns? The only thing that is annoying is that she can't voice them because then Trevor will get his feelings hurt. I don't think it's crazy to want to protect yourself, I actually think that's very mature.
    And personally I see Trevor as childish because it's like he can't see how big it is to buy a house. He can say he just wants to make Lily happy, but as an adult he should have more input on what he wants/doesn't want on the house they are buying. Lily seems to be the only one taking this seriously. Does he even realize what a big commitment buying a house together is? It's the way he handles things that bothers me, he's too laid back when it comes to big things.
    I feel like Lily is not ready to do this yet, but is doing it to make Trevor happy. So I guess they both compromise in the relationship.
    What is up with Jordan? Why is she being so flirty with her friend's bf? She's acting like a thirsty girl! Haha
    Keep doing what you do Janay! I still love this blog. And I'm glad to see you are human, I used to think you were an alien or something cause you posted consistently and still had time to work and spend time with your family ;-p
    Luita

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't think lily was this against buying a house before rocky talked to her. I think people have a hard time when she seems to be pushing Trevor away and hasn't really treated him very well lately. She also never talks to him until things are big. Hoping if he's the endgame (I hope:) that they will work on their communication

    ReplyDelete
  7. Really dislike when readers start getting temperamental when they don't like where the story line is going or what's happening. I mean opinions are totally one thing I get that. But going as far into asking about the writers personal life cuz you don't like the way she's writing her blog? I don't know just seems too personal, or undeserving. I didn't get the impression the writing was projecting into her story line. Good job for not making it all rainbows and butterflies, I like being able to relate to Lily. Kudos to staying dedicated to your story line too.

    Oh and I'd be pissed if my significant other wasn't helping me buy a house, showing consideration and thoughtfulness reinforces that you want it too and care what happens.
    -K

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love the story line. I also love Lily, and I think she is totally relatable. I would be upset too, Trevor should have some preferences when it comes to the house, it's not lily buying, they both are. Also, everyone wants lily to "act mature" and express her feelings to Trevor. Well that's not easy for everyone, especially for someone with the type of childhood lily had. Not to mention how poorly Trevor reacted when she told him how she felt about figuring out what would happen with the house if they broke up (which is smart and mature by the way). Also, I'd be annoyed about the Trevor/ Jordan thing too, and that's perfectly normal to be annoyed about. Even if Trevor is innocently being friendly, you have to understand there are boundaries. Riding a bull together is not appropriate, especially when Jordan is in a short dress. Anyway, basically Janay, ignore the negative comments. I rarely comment but I love this blog, it's my favorite(please forgive any type-is, I am on my phone) P.S. I am team NOT Trevor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's a little forward to say people are having negative comments because people are a little annoyed with lily's attitude or because they like Trevor.

      Delete
    2. I don't think disliking Lily's attitude, or Trevor is negative. In sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like that. I think it's fine to like/dislike a character's actions or a character. It shows how good the author is at getting readers invested in the story. I am really referring to the comment asking if something was going on in the author's personal life that was causing the weird vibe, and that the blog was off. I think that type of comment is negative and forward.

      Delete
    3. Oops, I meant, *or liking Trevor, I'm sorry...(I am on my phone again)

      Delete
    4. Oh okay yeah I agree, no need to ask about her personal life

      Delete
  9. I can't stand Jordan. She is so *THAT* girl it makes me nauseous. I can't wait to see how Lily handles it!

    ReplyDelete