Bittersweet

"Bittersweet
You're gonna be the death of me
I don't want you but I need you
I love you and hate you at the very same time
Bittersweet
See what I want so much, should never hurt this bad
Never did this before, that's what the virgin says
We've been generally warned, that's what the surgeon says
God talk to me now, this is an emergency"-Bittersweet by Kayne West ft John Mayer

I was getting dressed to go to work Wednesday when I got a call back from Corey. After my talk with Ethan (and blowing off Sammy's questions), I called Corey to see what was going on as far as lessons at my apartment. He didn't return my call that night. When he did call back, I answered it right away.

"Hello."

"Hey." He yawned. "You called?"

"Yeah, it wasn't an emergency or anything. Call me back when you wake up." I requested him.

"No, I'm driving home. You'll keep me awake. I worked overnight at the pharmacy."

"Ohhh. Sounds fun." I said, sarcastically.

"You know it." He replied, matching my tone. "So what's up?"

"I was told about lessons at my place for EJ?" I asked, brushing out my hair.

"Yeah. I was talking to his mom on Facebook. She was supposed to message me back when she knew for sure and talked to his dad and stuff." Corey informed me.

"Yeahhhh... His dad was not very happy with me, but I think he agreed on once a week after he meets you." I said.

"Sweet. You're cool with lessons at your place?"

"Absolutely. We can talk about the day and time with his parents. We'll get together soon. Did Sammy tell you about Memphis?" I asked.

"No."

"My cousin is gonna be in town. We are going back to that bar in Addison."

"Cool. I'll be there as soon as I get off."

I laughed. "Alright Corey. Drive safe! Good night... I guess?"

"For me it is. Good morning."

I let him go and headed into work. My day went by fairly quickly. It was great being fully staffed. I could spend more time researching and customizing rehabilitation plans and not just juggling patients around. I noticed Sandra making the rounds more often, checking in on us with patients. I guess she was finally caught up in the office as well.

I finished up my last appointment with Darren. He brought me a thank you card and I teared up. I knew I would still be in contact with him, but it still made me a little sad knowing he wouldn't be under my care anymore. Maybe I was being sentimental. Urgh, damn estrogen.

I got Kendal to take a picture of us together before Darren left the clinic forever.

Okay, yeah, definitely overly sentimental.

I sent Forrest the picture and captioned it.

Me: I'm releasing him to your care. Take care of my first patient in Dallas!!!

Forrest responded right away.

Forrest: Awww, he was your first patient? I didn't know that.

Me: Yep. He told me he popped my cherry. At the time I thought he was a disrespectful little hoodlum. Now I'm gonna miss him!!! :-(

Forrest: lol hoodlum

"So Lily... how'd that happen?" Kendal asked from beside me.

"Huh?" I asked, putting my phone away.

"You and that guy?" He replied.

"What guy?" I inquired.

"The engaged guy." He answered.

"What about him?"

"How did y'all start hooking up?" He asked.

I looked up at him in disgust. "We're not. Like you just said, he's engaged."

"That's not what I heard..."

"I really don't care what you heard. It's not the truth. In the future, I'd rather not discuss my private life at work." I said. "Have a good one." I said, turning to leave.

I went to Jordan. She was on the clock, but I needed that kinda talk stopped immediately. Who else could he have talked to about this?

"Hey Jordan. Walk me out?"

"Sure." She nodded. After she got a nurse to cover the front, we left.

"Did you talk to Kendal about Forrest and me?" I asked her bluntly.

"No. Why?" She said, squinting up her face.

"Cause he heard we were hooking up." I told her, examining her face.

She genuinely looked surprised. "Ohmigosh, no. I don't even talk to him like that. If I hear anything, you know I will let you know."

I nodded. "Ok. Thanks. Still coming out with us tomorrow?"

"Absolutely. Derek won't be able to join us, So save the marriage talk." She smiled

"It's Halloween! Give him a break."

"Yeah, if he keeps messing around I'm gonna dress up as Lorena Bobbitt..."

"Oooo, you can have a little knife and a dildo as your props" I smiled.

"Nope. I'll have the real thing..."

"Gross Jordan." I laughed.

I said goodbye to her and went home. I put the whole Kendal thing out of my mind. In less than 24 hours Bianca would be here. I needed to focus on that!!!




The morning of Bianca's arrival, I got up, changed the sheets on my bed and dressed for work. I packed a change of clothes with me. I would have time to finish my last appointment then haul ass to the airport to pick her up.

I worked through my lunch just to ensure I would be leaving in plenty of time. I posted on Facebook that I was taking Bianca to Memphis for anyone that wanted to join us. I had been waiting in the baggage claim area for 45 minutes when I got a text from Jake.

Jake: Is it ok if I stop by tonight?

I looked up and saw Bianca approaching me.

"B!!!" I exclaimed, excitedly, putting my phone away and rushing to meet her.

A smile widened on her beautiful face as she pulled her carry on behind her.  She was the definition of natural beauty. The irony of it all was that she really did not care about her looks. Fashion, yes. Hair and make up, not so much. She was wearing fitted cargo pants and a black scoop next tank. Her long hair was pulled up and hidden under a fedora. She was make-up free, but looked flawless and so happy to see me.

"Lily!!!" She smiled, charging towards me. She dropped her bags when we met each other with a hug.

"Now I know I'm not in Cali." She laughed after we hugged for a good minute.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Cause if we were at LAX, we would have been yelled at by now." She commented, as people just went around us.

"So true." I agreed, laughing as I grabbed one of her bags. "Did you check a bag?"

"Of course not." She told me.

"Cool. Let's go so I can show you around my city." I smiled at her.

After putting her bags in the trunk, we hopped in my car and took off. We caught up as I drove to Braums Ice Cream shop. There were way too many places to take her for 3 nights and 4 days, so I was sticking to my absolute favorites. Besides, she loved ice cream. It was her all time favorite food. I had to take her to the old fashioned parlor that they did not have in California.

She caught me up on school and the guy she is currently dating. He's a model/actor/dancer type she normally goes for. When I questioned why she was attracted to shallow guys like that, she informed me she enjoys the companionship without the attachment.

"It's so much easier to get rid of them when they're douchebags." She explained as we looked over the menu.

"I wish it was that easy for me." I said, only half joking.

"So what's the itinerary for the weekend? Please tell me I get to meet said douchebags?" She asked, after we ordered our food.

"Anyone in particular?" I asked, thinking of Jake's text.

"All of them. Like my mom said, I need to get a feel for all the men in your life. Past loves, potential boyfriends."

I smiled. "Tell your mom the only man in my life is Jesus."

Bianca busted out laughing. "I'm not going to burst into flames to tell that lie."

I laughed with her. When she got up to throw her trash away, I pulled out my phone and texted Jake back.

Me: Of course. I would like us to be friends again.

I sent it before I could think about. That's what I wanted. I didn't want the first time for us to interact to be Ethan's congratulatory dinner. Besides, Bianca wanted to meet him. I kinda wanted her to meet him as well. I wanted her opinion on him. Not that it would change anything...

After lunch, we went back to my apartment. After a tour, I got her set up in my room. She unpacked and pulled out her costume. It was a 60s style black and white dress and go-go boots. When she threw off her hat, and put her hair up in a ponytail, I knew immediately she was gonna be Arianna Grande.

"Ooo! Do I get to be Iggy?!?!" I asked, excitedly.

"No" Bianca grinned, handing me a midnight blue hot pants and halter crop top. "Go try it on."

I did. I walked out of the bathroom, trying to think of a nice way to tell her whatever this was, it wasn't going to work. The nicest way was "fuck no" at the moment.

"Do you get it?" She asked, with a wryly smile when I stood in front of her.

"I get that I have to go shopping for two costumes." I said, still confused as to who I was supposed to be.

Bianca grinned and pulled out a matching midnight blue skirt with huge slits on the side. By the time she pulled out a pair of thigh high matching boots, arms bands, and a ninja mask, I knew exactly who I was going to be.

I squealed with delight. "No fucking way! You made me a Lady Kitana costume?!?!"

"That's not all..." She said, handing me two ornate, beautiful blue fans. "I was gonna to add little blades on it, but I don't think the TSA would have liked that."

"Bianca, I love this! Thank you so much. I swear, I might wear it every day." I laughed.

"Just don't assassinate anyone. I don't need that on my conscious. I'm going to hell for enough already."

"You will learn respect!!!" I was posing with the fans as I said Kitana's battle cry when Sammy walked in.

"What are you doing? What do you have on?" Sammy asked, eyeing me up and down.

"Practicing for Halloween. Sammy, this is my cousin Bianca. Bianca, this is Sammy." I introduced them, smiling.

"Nice to meet you." Bianca said, friendly.

"You too." Sammy said, warmly. She looked back over at me.

"What are you supposed to be?"

"A Mortal Kombat character."

"That's it? I mean, your body looks great, but that's kinda slutty."

"That's the point of Halloween." I informed her, sarcastically. "It comes with a skirt, boots and arm bands. Be right back. I'm gonna go change."

When I came back in the room, Sammy was sitting on the bed, talking to Bianca about our plans.

"You didn't tell Bianca about Blake's party on Friday?" Sammy asked me.

"No, I wasn't planning on going." I told Sammy again. I told her and the other girls I didn't wanna hang with him with Bianca. It just felt weird and I didn't know any of his friends besides Forrest and Rachel.

"I told you I wanted to meet every man in your life." Bianca protested.

"I don't even think he qualifies as that." I said.

"He wants to bang. I think that qualifies." Sammy countered.

"Anyway..." I said, changing the subject. "Are you and Corey joining us tonight?"

"I have to go in at Dave and Buster's tonight." Sammy said.

"What? Since when?" I asked.

"Someone called in." Sammy replied.

"That sucks." I pouted.

"Who's all going to be there?" Bianca asked me.

"So far it's Trevor, Rocky, her boyfriend Brandon, Cam, Jenna, and a few of my work friends for sure. Possibly Jake." I rattled off.

Both Bianca and Sammy stared at me.

"He messaged me. I told him he can drop by." I shrugged, trying not to think too much about it.

Sammy just rolled her eyes and stood up. "I'm gonna go get ready for work. I'll see y'all later."

After she left, we got ready to go. I put on a dark denim jeans and a black razorback tank. I left my hair down in waves and added minimal make up. Part of me was thinking about Jake, but ultimately, I dressed for myself. Since I planned on dancing, I wore black booties.

Bianca wore lace short shorts that made her legs look even longer, a tank and a cute white kimono blouse. She put her hair down and actually did her make up too. Flip flops completed her outfit.

We were heading out the door when I got a call from Rocky, asking us where we were. I told her we were on our way.

When we arrived at the bar, Rocky, Brandon, Corey and Jordan were already there. I introduced Bianca to everyone and we sat down.

"Where is Q?" I asked Jordan, as I pulled out my phone to text Cam and Trevor.

"Picking up Yolanda." Jordan answered.

Before I could send out the text, Trevor, Cam and Jenna joined us at the table. I stood up to hug all of them before introducing Trevor to Bianca.

"Wow. You can tell y'all are family." He said, looking between us.

"Say thank you Bianca. That's a compliment to you." I grinned at Bianca.

"I've never been so insulted. I hate you already Trevor." Bianca joked.

"Take a number." He teased while we laughed.

After ordering our drinks, Q and Yolanda arrived.

"Who else are we waiting for? Just Sammy?" Corey asked.

I shook my head. "No. Sammy got called into work. Jake might stop by." I informed them. "We have too many mutual friends not to be friendly. It's not a big deal." I added, before anyone could say anything.

We went ahead and ordered food. Everyone but Corey. He decided he was going to go visit Sammy at her job. Jordan offered to walk him out. She asked me to join. I looked at Bianca.

"Are you going to be ok?" I asked. Bianca nodded, sipping her drink.

"Geez Lily. No one's gonna do anything." Trevor grinned at me. Bianca smiled at him.

"You better not." I warned him as I stood up.

I walked with Corey and Jordan out. After we said bye to Corey, Jordan turned to me.

"So I found out where Kendal got his information from..." Jordan teased me.

"Well? Who???" I asked.

"Heather!" She exclaimed.

"Heather? Why would she say that?" I said, puzzled. I never talked to her about Forrest...

I literally froze as I saw Jake's SUV pull up.

"Lily? Are you ok?" She asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just give me a second. I'll be right in." I said, forcing myself to look at Jordan. She gave me a weird look but nodded and went back inside.

By the time I looked back at Jake, he was walking towards me.

"Hey." I said, smiling at him. I hoped I looked calm. I felt everything but calm.

"Hey Lily." He said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his khaki shorts. He looked so sexy in a white button down. His hair was growing out, but it look good on him. Everything looked good on him.

"Your hair looks nice." I said, quickly. Maybe if I admitted that, some of this tension would go away...

It didn't work.

"Yeah? Jasmine refuses to cut it for me." He admitted, rubbing his hair.

I smiled. "Yeah, I'm about to be in the same boat. My roots already look bad."

"Nothing about you looks bad." He stared at me, intensely.

I blushed and looked away, the heat in his gaze was too damn much.

"Let's talk when my bangs grow out and I look like Cousin Itt."

"You would still look amazing, once you moved all the hair out of your face." He joked.

I snorted, but quickly covered my mouth with my hand.

He grabbed my hand and I swear I felt a jolt.

"I wanna be honest with you." He said, moving my hand away from my mouth.

"What is it?" I said, shakily.

"I don't want to just be your friend. I want another chance with you. I'm willing to wait however long it takes."

"Jake-" I started.

"I don't need an answer right now. I just need you to know that Lily." He stopped me.

I nodded and stared into his eyes. I wonder if he could see the same desire I saw in his eyes. He caressed my hand before letting it go.

"Can I meet your cousin?" He asked.

I nodded, taking a deep breath, before leading him inside the bar.

I joked about Jesus being the only man in my life. Sometimes I wished it was the truth. Bianca resented her religious upbringing. At the moment, I was jealous of that. It would be nice to have faith in something.

I wasn't the most religious person in the word, but I did know how to pray. I prayed for wisdom to make the right decisions.

And the strength to fucking do it.