Push it to the Limit

"Push it to the limit
With no one left to stand in your way
You might get careless, but you'll never be safe
While you still feel it"-  Push it to the Limit by Paul Engemann


I went home Tuesday morning after the Labor Day game night fiasco, exhausted. I was so glad I didn't have to be at work. The only reason I was up was because Jake did. He woke me up on his way out. The night before, I kept Jake up late, proving to him he was the only person I wanted to be with. From now on, I was going to let my actions show that.

I entered my apartment Tuesday morning, went straight to my room and changed out of my dress. I pulled on a tank top and shorts and went to bed. I slept for a couple hours before I got back up. I went down the stairs when I heard Sammy up and about. I was surprised to see Corey in the kitchen with her. They were eating cereal together.

"Good morning." I said, giving Sammy a grin.

"Hey." Sammy said.

"Good morning." Corey greeted me.

I grabbed a cereal bowl from the cabinet to join them.

"So... I heard there was some drama last night." Sammy questioned.

"From who?" I asked, curious.

"Rocky called. Seeing if you came home and she told me to have you call her as soon as possible." Sammy explained.

"Urgh, I haven't even looked at my phone. I hope she didn't call anyone else." I sighed.

"You and Jake ok?" Sammy asked.

"Yep." I said, simply.

"I'll let you two have girl talk. I'll call you later Sammy." Corey said, putting his bowl away. She gave him a hug before he left.

"So, what's going on there?" I asked Sammy as soon as I heard the door close.

"We literally just crashed. We made plans to hang out after I was done work, but I was so tired. He came over and watched me sleep." Sammy said.

"Awww Creepy, but cute." I smiled.

"Speaking of creepy, but not so cute, what's really going on with you and Jake?" Sammy asked, hands on her hips.

I thought about what Jake said about getting advice from her.

"Nothing. Really. We're ok. I didn't come home cause I was with him." I replied.

Sammy looked skeptical, but left it alone. She went back to bed. I checked my phone. I returned Rocky's text saying I was ok and would meet her for lunch. I went for a run at the nearby park. I came home, showered and dressed in jean shorts and a tank. I meet Rocky at Jason's Deli for lunch. We ordered salads and loaded baked potatoes.

Rocky was wearing oversized shades, slacks and a button down. She wore no make-up and her short hair was pulled back into a clip. I knew she was hurting.

I did want to see where her head was at with the whole Brandon/Bilal situation, but thanks in part to her drunk antics, I now had to focus on my own relationship. Last night, as I drove to Jake's apartment, I wished she would have the hangover from hell. But now, I felt bad when I looked at her. It didn't stop me from giggling at her sad appearance.

"It's not funny Lily. I fucked up." Rocky moaned.

"Poor baby. Want some bread?" I grinned, reminding her of our bathroom dialogue.

Rocky frowned. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I said that last night."

"I can't believe you remember what you said."

"Oh yeah. If EJ's question, Ethan's face and Jake and you running out didn't sober me up, Brandon going off definitely did." Rocky explained.

"What?"

"Yeah. The party kinda ended when y'all left. Brandon was so pissed at you and he was going on and on and on. So, I told him what I said and what you said and why we were in the bathroom in the first place." Rocky explained.

"Rocky, you didn't have to-"

"Yes, I did. And now he's not speaking to me. He slept on the couch last night." Rocky admitted.

"Are y'all going to be ok?" I asked.

"I hope so, but if Brandon hasn't already, I will tell Jake what happened. I'm really sorry." Rocky said again.

"Rocky, it's ok. Really. Jake and I are fine." I reassured her.

She just looked at me.

"Well, we will be fine, but don't blame yourself. It's completely on me." I confessed.

And I truly felt that way. I didn't take him seriously when we first met. He was right about that. Between Rocky's opinion of him and him hooking up with Sammy, I didn't want to get to know him and when I did, I fought my feelings for him because of my pre-judgements. When I finally accepted my feelings, I still didn't treat him right. In my need to prove my control, I disregarded his feeling by continuously reaching out to Ethan.

Jake knew the complete history of Ethan and me. Even things I didn't want to admit. I know how I felt just thinking he and Criscelle hooked up. I couldn't imagine how he must have felt having Ethan constantly around me and I needed to address and correct that. Immediately.

"But I'm fixing it. So wish me luck." I smiled.

"Yeah. Ditto." Rocky said.



I called Jasmine to set up a hair appointment after lunch. She said she could take me then so I went over to the shop. She gave me side swept bangs that looked amazing with the light brown color added to my blonde hair. She was friendly and chatty, so I knew Jake didn't tell her about our fight.

"I have really cute pictures of you and Jake from this weekend. I was going to post them, but then I noticed y'all don't have any pictures posted together." Jasmine said, as she straightened  my hair.

"Oh, I know. We've been so busy, just send them to me and I'll post them." I said, quickly.

"So, how did the talk go?" She asked.

"About?" I said, deep in thought about the pictures.

Maybe Jake didn't want our pictures posted. I noticed none of his pictures had girls in them. Even when we weren't dating or hanging out or when he was hooking up with Sammy. I mean, he did have that weird no sleeping over rule. Maybe that was another rule of his. But he did ask me out on Facebook. I can't believe I hadn't posted pictures. Ethan and I had pictures posted together with the kids. I was so careless sometimes.

"About Jake's ex?" Jasmine prompted.

"Oh, good. I know that was super weird for him being around his ex's sister and kid. Not going to lie, I was relieved to hear she's out of his life, but I trust Jake regardless. " I replied.

"What all did he tell you?"

"Just that she was his ex and lives in Georgia now."

Jasmine just nodded. I used the time with her to get some more information about Jake. Not about his exes, but more of his favorites.

After my hair was done, I texted Jake asking if we could have dinner together. He replied that he would call me when he got off. I decided I would surprise him with his favorite movie for a date night at his apartment.

I went home and got dressed in a blue and white rose print dress. I strapped on some white 2 inch kitten heels that I bought from a boutique by Jasmine's job. After I called a Cuban restaurant in Plano called the Latin Pig and ordered food for pick up, I did my make-up. When I was done, I went to the restaurant and picked up the food.

I then went to Jake's apartment. I waited in my car, with the engine and A/C running, for 20 minutes before I got a call from Jake.

"Do you still wanna to do dinner?" He asked me.

"Yes. Come to your apartment." I replied.

I spent 5 minutes touching up on my make up and making sure my hair still looked good.

When I saw his car pull up beside me, I picked up the bag of food from the passenger side and hopped out my car.

He got out the car and approached me, looking me over.

"How long have you been waiting?" He asked, with a frown.

"Not very." I shrugged, wrapping my free arm around him in a hug.

"You look beautiful." He said, hugging me close. After he pulled back, he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Thank you. It's all brand new. And I'm practicing." I smiled, kicking up my small kitten heels.

"What's the occasion?" He asked taking the bag from me.

"I figured we could have a Scarface night. I even brought Cuban food." I motioned to the bag.

"So I'm guessing by the hair and the movie choice, you've been scheming with my sister." Jake said, holding my hand as we walked (very carefully) to his apartment.

"Scheming sounds so shady. More like studying." I confessed.

Jake smiled. "You wanna study me? Should I be worried?" He said, unlocking his door.

"Not at all." I said, as he let me into his apartment. "I just wanna know more about you, so that I can make you as happy as you make me." I said.

"Cariño, you make me happy." He said, putting the food down and pulling me into his arms. "Don't ever doubt that. I'm sorry about not listening to you last night. Rocky told me what was said. I overreacted." He apologized.

"No, you didn't. I should have been listening to you. When you've been telling me how my friendship with Ethan makes you jealous-" I started.

He looked away. "I wouldn't say jealous..."

"Whatever you wanna say, I understand it. I know how I felt around Criscelle, even when Jasmine told me she wasn't your ex." I explained.

"You were jealous of Criscelle? What did Jasmine tell you?" Jake asked concerned.

"That I should talk to you about her and you're right. Not jealous. Uncomfortable."

When Jake sighed and gave me a little smile, I continued.

"Down the road, I'm sure we can all be friends, but for now, you're my priority and my relationship with you is more important than trying to have a friendship with Ethan." I finished.

"I don't want you to feel like you can't be friends with him. I'm not trying to be that guy..." Jake said.

"I know. If you we're that guy, I wouldn't want to be your girlfriend." I smiled.

He kissed me on the lips before we broke apart. I set up the movie and food while he changed out of his work clothes. We ate Cuban sandwiches, fried yuca with a garlicky sauce and sweet pastries as I playfully ripped his favorite movie apart. I made fun of the accents, the clothes, and how the whole ending could have been avoided. Then I debated why he called it a classic.

"It's a classic cause it's still relevant today and you don't have to be a gangster to get it." Jake explained.

"Give me one example."

"All I have is my words and my balls and I don't break them for no one." He said in a awful accent. I laughed.

"Words to live by. Literally. Truth or death." I smiled. "Still don't see why Gina and Manny had to die."

"Cause a lie by omission is still a lie." Jake said. He then looked me in the eye. "This was a great idea Lily. Thank you for doing this." He said, changing the subject.

I smiled. "Anytime babe." I snuggled up to him on the couch. "Hey, I have a question for you." I said, after a moment. "It's actually about something Jasmine said."

Jake cleared his throat. "Yeah?"

"Why don't we have any pictures on Facebook? Is that another one of your rules? Like no sleeping over? No posting pictures?"

Jake laughed. "You're my girlfriend. No rules apply to you. We can post one right now."

I smiled. "OK."

He pulled out his phone and took a few selfies of us. He chose the picture where I was making my McKayla Maroney not impressed face and he was smirking at me.

He posted it on Facebook and tagged me in it. He captioned it: 

Trying to explain the genius of Scarface to @Lily #FuckinWithDaBest

I chose the one of me kissing him on his dimple while he smiled. I captioned it:

 I get it!#Classic#TheWorldIsYours.

 I changed it as my profile picture before we went to bed together.

--------------------------------

Last week, work flew by quickly. We stayed busy getting or patients files in order for our new boss. At lunch Friday, I ate at work and was able to check my Facebook. I uploaded a lot of pictures from my Labor Day weekend with Jake. There were so many good pictures of Jake and me. I hate to sound conceited, but we really did look good together. I stopped checking out the likes and comments on the pictures when I got a text from Forrest.

Forrest- So I'm guessing that Jake and you are ok?

Me- Yeah. We're great. Sorry about the drama.

Forrest- Don't be. Every time the wedding planning gets frustrating, I have you to remind me how much not being engaged sucks.

Me- Lol. You suck!

Forrest- lol. So what's the story about you and Ethan?

Me- Way too long for text.

Forrest- Can you talk?

I called him. After telling me he was on his free period where he didn't have a class, I explained to him the summed up history of me and Ethan.

"Wow." He said when I finished.

"Yeah. So it's uncomfortable to say the least and I hadn't been handling it right." I finished.

"That's rough. That's a lot to find out about someone you're dating."

"I mean, he knew before we started hanging out." I corrected him.

"Really?" Forrest asked.

"Yeah. I even told him I still had feelings for Ethan, back when he was still hanging out with Sammy." I confirmed.

"Really..." Forrest repeated, thoughtfully.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"I don't know. Does he just get like that about Ethan?" He asked.

"I guess, but there's no other exes in my life. Period."

"Not just exes. Guys in general."

"I don't think so." I said. He was ok with Forrest and Trevor.

"I asked because he got involved with you knowing the situation about Ethan. I feel like you might wanna press the issue a little more to see where his jealousy is coming from." Forrest stated.

"That's the completely opposite of what I'm going to do. I'm just gonna show him he has absolutely no reason to be jealous of anyone." I said, confidently.

"Ok." Forrest said. "Will I see y'all tonight at the game?"

"Of course. At least me for sure. Rachel and I made plans to meet up and watch it together."

"Ok. I'll see you tonight then. Bye Lily."

"Bye Forrest. See ya later." I said, before hanging up the phone.