Coming Back to Life

"While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted 
Outside the rain fell dark and slow 
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime 
I took a heavenly ride through our silence 
I knew the moment had arrived 
For killing the past and coming back to life 
I took a heavenly ride through our silence 
I knew the waiting had begun 
And headed straight into the shining sun" Coming Back to Life by Pink Floyd. 


"You're joking right? There is no test." I asked Trevor after he pulled out the key and let himself in the house.

"There is a test Lily. You think we just let anybody in the family? We can't have the bloodline tainted." He said, the corners of his lips turning up in a smile.

"It's not funny Trevor. Stop trying to scare me."

"I'm not kidding." Trevor chuckled, walking into the living room of the house.

I followed after him, looking over the house. It was a simple, clean, ranch style house. The open floor plan with all the windows made the room look so inviting. The furnishings were all wood, the decorations minimal in sky blue. It looked so cozy and comfortable.

"Well what is it? How do I pass?" I asked, stopping my appraisal of the house to look at him.

"Not by cheatin', that's for sure!" A loud voice boomed from out of nowhere.

I jumped like God himself had spoken to us. I looked to see a tall, built man approaching from a back hallway. Trevor and Jimmy shared features: same light colored hair, straight noses and slender chins. That's were the similarities ended. While Trevor was warm and bright, Jimmy came off dark and brooding.

"Uncle Jimmy! We missed you at church." Trevor proclaimed as his uncle joined us in the sitting area.

"Who's we? Your granny? Your mom? 'Cause the only thing they agree on is their dislike of me." He interrogated Trevor roughly.

Trevor laughed. "Fine, just me."

I smiled too when a hint of a smile passed on his uncle's face. His uncle looked me over, and the smile wavered on my face.

"Where's your manners boy? Aren't you gonna introduce us?" Uncle Jimmy turned away from me to scold Trevor.

"Uncle Jimmy, this is my girlfriend Lily."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Tobin." I said, sticking out my hand. I reminded myself to stay cool, calm and collected. I survived my father's criticism, and he pushed for perfection. I could handle Trevor's uncle. And if I couldn't, he wouldn't be able to tell with my poker face.

Trevor's uncle looked at my hand, shaking his head, before grabbing it in a firm grip.

"Just call him Jimmy." Trevor said as I shook his uncle's hand.

"No, she won't need to call me anythin' if she doesn't pass the test." Jimmy said before releasing my hand. "You're off to a bad start if you're tryin' to cheat."

I felt the blood rush to my face. My poker face was non-existent at that moment.

"I wasn't trying to cheat. I was trying to get some details about a test I had no idea about." I said, hoping I sounded as confident as I tried to pretend I was.

"That's against the rules." Jimmy told me.

"Well, now I know. Any other rules I should know about?" I asked.

"I'll let you know when the test starts." Jimmy dismissed me. There was a knock on the door, so Jimmy went to answer it.

"T-Rev..." I moaned. "You can't be serious."

"Yes, it's serious." Trevor confirmed, flopping on the couch.

"Even if it is, wouldn't it be better to wait to take the stupid test?" I said, trying to buy some time. I knew I could get details out of Trevor if I got him away from his uncle.

"It's not stupid. It's tradition. Everyone who wants to be a part of the family has to go through it." Trevor stated.

"That's right." Lisa chimed in, as she came into the house and joined us in the living room, her husband Charles trailing behind her.

"Ok..so shouldn't we wait til we're engaged?" I asked.

"Nope, if you fail, the engagement is off. Why let it get that far?" Uncle Jimmy answered. I sat beside Trevor, defeated and didn't ask any more questions.

Slowly, most of the family made their way to Jimmy's house. I was re-introduced to all of Trevor's aunts, their husbands, his cousins, and family friends. Too many to recall, but everyone was cordial to me. Trevor's mom headed back to Wichita Falls, but his granny stopped by to take a look at the house and trade barbs with Jimmy. From the store to the changes in the house, Jimmy and Helen went back and forth with Jimmy proudly showing off and Helen criticizing him.

"They have a love-hate relationship. Jimmy is my grandfather's younger brother. When my grandfather died, the land went to Jimmy but the house and store stayed in Granny's name. Granny moved to Wichita Falls after his death to be closer to my dad. She left the house and the store under Jimmy's care. He tried to buy them from her, but she refused to sell." Trevor relayed to me as we took a tour of the house after his Granny left. She did give me the macaroni and cheese recipe and I promised I would email the cake recipe to Trevor's mom to get it to her.

"Why not? You think she wants to leave it to you?" I asked.

"No, the will is already drawn out regarding the house and store: Everything reverts back to Jimmy and it will be split equally among my grandfather's kids. Jimmy's trying to do my granny a favor since she doesn't live out here anymore. She likes the little control she thinks she has over him." Trevor said.

"Jimmy doesn't seem like the kind of guy to be controlled." I murmured. "He doesn't have a wife or kids?" I asked.

"No." Trevor answered. "Come here." Trevor said, leading me downstairs to a finished basement. It was BADASS. There was a wet bar area, a refrigerator and microwave, a pool table and two black leather love seats and random bean bag chairs scattered on the floor

"This used to be my uncle's trophy area. The summer before I went to Baylor, I turned it into a mini theatre." He said, pulling down the projection screen that was in front of the couches.

"This is amazing." I smiled, sitting on a bean bag. "You spent the summer before you left with your uncle?" I asked.

"Yeah, I told you my mom and granny wanted me to stay and go to MWSU. Jimmy offered to help pay the difference in my tuition as long as I came out during the summer to help out with the store." Trevor said as he played with the projector.

"So how did you come out here to work, and end up getting a home theatre?"

"He needed a way to get girls to come home with him." Jimmy announced from the stairs.

"Uncle!" Trevor tried to hush him as I raised an eyebrow at him.

"What? I taught you everything you know. I was proud of you. Every girl was prettier than the last."

Now I knew why Jimmy never got married and why Trevor was a man-whore in college.

Mystery solved.

"Stop talking uncle." Trevor covered his face, but I could tell he was smiling.

"You stop stallin' back here. I'm ready to start the test." Jimmy said, crossing his arm.

"Nobody's stalling. I'm gonna set a movie up for the kids so they can eat their candy and play down here."

"Good idea." Jimmy said.

Trevor got "Hop" playing on the projector and all the kids came with their basket of treats. The adults headed outside for my "test". Jimmy led the way across the backyard. The clearing eventually became thick with grass, wildflowers, and an occasional tree. We walked at least 5 minutes away from the house when I turned to Trevor.

"How much further is it?" I asked as my bare legs in my dress kept brushing against the grass and weeds. I would have changed if I knew the test was outdoors in the middle of nowhere. No, I would have fled, but that's beside the point.

"We're almost there, right Uncle?" Trevor asked.

"We're here." Jimmy announced, turning around with a blindfold in his hands.

I looked at Trevor, shocked. Before Trevor could speak, his uncle started.

"Out here, in this field, is a hidden treasure. You have to find it Lily."

"Ok..." I said. I looked out in the field. I didn't see anything, but it was probably hidden in the tall ass grass. I was still confused by the blindfold.

"Being in the family is like a circle of trust." Jimmy explained.

"What is this? Meet the Parents?" I muttered.

"Jimmy is scarier than Robert De Niro." Brett, one of Trevor's aunt's husband, laughed. Everyone else laughed too, including Trevor.

"Ok... what is the blindfold for?" I finally asked.

"That's where the trust comes in. You will be blindfolded and we'll lead you to the treasure. You'll have 45 seconds-" Jimmy said.

I looked up at Trevor, wide eyes.

"Hey, she's supposed to have a minute." Trevor contested.

"Yeah, but I think you cheated." Jimmy argued.

 "This is crazy! How could he cheat if I'm blindfolded?" I complained.

"Fine, 1 minute. Better get one last kiss. It might be the last." Jimmy said, handing over the blindfold.

I gave Trevor my best "please don't make me do this" look.

"Don't worry. I'll be cheering you on the whole time." He said, before kissing me softly on the lips. Everyone awwwed at us. It pissed me off.

"No, you're supposed to help me." I snapped. It was bad enough the weeds were up to my knees, and I would be blindfolded. I needed all the help I could get, not cheers.

"He can't. Those are the rules." Jimmy said. I glared at him before Trevor put the blindfold over my eyes. When he tightened it and I couldn't see a thing, I was *this* close to saying fuck the test, when Trevor whispered in my ear.

"Still trust me with everything?"

Fuck, he was using my own words against me. I slowly nodded.

"Good. I love you. Good luck." He said, with one last kiss on my ear.

I felt him leave my side and I took a deep breath.

A few moments went by before Uncle Jimmy spoke again.

"Alright, start the time on the clock Chelsea. On your mark, get set, go!"

Everyone started yelling incoherently. I definitely heard "straight ahead" so I went forwarded, my arms outstretched. I heard "to your right." so I turned that way, reaching in the grass, thrashing around to feel something. Anything.

"You're nowhere close. 3 o'clock." Jimmy's voice bellowed out over everyone. I bit my lip, debating whether I should trust his advice. But Trevor trusted him, and I trusted Trevor...

"45 seconds!" Chelsea screamed out.

It imagined 3 o'clock in my mind and took off in that directions.

"Warm, warmer!!!" Everyone yelled out, and I kept going, picking my knees up as far as they could go in my dress.

"30 seconds!"

I sped up, jogging through the grass.

"Stop!"

"Cold!"

"Left!"

"15 seconds!!!"

I stopped in my tracks and took a step back.

"Warmer!"

I back tracked slowly until I heard everyone yell, "Left Left!!!"

I turned to the left and took a small step, feeling out with my arms and legs.

"10, 9, 8..."

"Just go Lily, go!" Jimmy hollered at me as everyone started the countdown.

I took off this time, running.

"7, 6..."

I kept running, wondering how the hell I was going to find it if I was just running. Maybe Jimmy was trying to fail me...

"5, 4, 3..."

The thought passed my mind that this was a cruel joke, and I would be running towards a cliff or pile of mud. Regardless, I kept going, probably looking like a dumbass, until I crashed into a something. It wasn't hard enough to be a tree, but it was solid and I instantly went backwards. A pair of arms engulfed me, bringing me into a familiar embrace. Everyone started cheering and I breathed in relief, a smile forming on my lips.

"You passed." Trevor laughed, pulling the blindfold off my head.

"Thank God." I caught my breath before pressing my lips against his. Our kiss was passionate; probably too much for a family event, but I was glad I found him. I pulled back, still smiling.

"Welcome to the family." Jimmy said, a broad grin destroying his menacing demeanor. 

 "Thank you, but where's my treasure?" I asked, cheekily.

"Right here baby." Trevor gestured to himself. I flushed, excitedly, burying my head into his chest.

"I was wishing for a golden egg." I teased.

"Will you settle for a Cadbury egg?"

"Absolutely."


After I earned my place in the circle of trust, the rest of the day was great. Jimmy's attitude was like night and day.

"I had to give you a hard time. He's been talking about you for so long." Jimmy smiled as he grilled hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill. After having a beer-hunt (beers hidden in the yard instead off eggs), we sat around, drinking beer and chatting with everyone.

"Well yeah, I had to wait 8 years to get a kiss from her." Trevor commented.

"I'm tired of you telling people that. It's not true. I was in love with you for the first 4 years of college and you ignored me." I blabbed, a little tipsy. Apparently, I am a great treasure and beer hunter.

"I didn't ignore you..." Trevor denied when Lisa "aww"-ed sympathetically.

"When Trevor first came to stay with me, he was this scrawny, pale boy that couldn't talk to girls unless it was through a computer screen." Jimmy started.

"Alright Jimmy, shouldn't you focus on the food? We're hungry!" Trevor tried to stop him.

"No, please continue." I said, loving a inside perspective to Trevor before Baylor.

"So I put him to work at the store; had him ringing up customers to give him some social skills, lifting boxes to put on some weight, away from the computer to get some sunlight." Jimmy continued while I cracked up laughing.

"Eventually he got a date. What was her name?" Jimmy asked Trevor.

"I don't remember." Trevor shook his head.

"Something with an E... I saw this girl all the time; She came into the store every month with a new guy. So I figured, it's alright. Let him get his feet wet-"

"Something wet." I smirked.

Jimmy laughed a loud, deep laugh. "That too. I figured he's not going to get attached, he's moving in a few months..."

"Let me guess? He got attached?" I smiled while Trevor looked embarrassed.

"Of course! To the first girl who laughed at his jokes and watched movies with him. And the next month, she brought a new guy to the store and he's heartbroken." Jimmy answered. "I told him to have fun, sow his oats, and don't bring any girls around here unless they can pass the test." Jimmy concluded

"See, I didn't ignore you Lily. I was listening to my uncle." Trevor smiled.

"Sure Trevor." I smiled back.

We left after we ate. We stopped by Trevor's mom house to say goodbye. We stayed and watched "It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown" with her.

Trevor also told her how I passed the treasure hunt test.

"Your uncle is still giving that test?" She made a face.

"He sure is." Trevor turned to me. "Mom failed, but she still married my dad. It was doomed from the start."

"It's a silly test. It doesn't mean anything." She bristled.

After the short movie ended, Trevor gave his mom a hug and a kiss. I gave her a hug too and I told her I would be sending the coconut cake recipe for her to print out for Trevor's Granny.

"I wouldn't worry about it. She's not a baker." She told me.

"A deal is a deal. She already gave me the macaroni and cheese recipe." I replied.

We left and headed back to Dallas.

"Did anyone say anything we need to talk about?" Trevor smiled as we drove.

"No... well, yes. I wanna hear more about your scrawny, pale, pre-Baylor days." I teased him.

"I try not to remember." He groaned.

"I can't picture you being anything other than goofy, outgoing and friendly."

"Before my dad died, all I wanted to do was escape and play on my computer. After he died, everyone felt bad for me. Moving away where no one knew me was the opportunity to be whoever I wanted. So that's what I did."

I nodded. I knew exactly what he meant. You had to let the past die so that you can start again.

"I understand. Like a restart."

"Exactly. Kinda weird how I still fell for the first girl to laugh at my jokes and watch movies with me." Trevor smiled.

I smiled too. "8 years later..."

"I was making sure you could past the test."



 I nodded off on the drive home while listening to him sing along to classic rock. We got back to my apartment and I was wide awake because of the nap I took in the car. Trevor went to bed, but I stayed up and started a load of clothes. While they washed, I uploaded pictures on Facebook and Instagram and sent out late Happy Easter texts to everyone. I also sent the cake recipe to Trevor's mom.

Ethan texted me back, asking if I was busy. I told him no, so he called.

"Hey, how was your Easter?" I asked.

"It turned into Brandon and Rocky's engagement party, but it was ok. How about you?"

"It was great. What's up?' I asked him.

"I need to ask you something."

"Ok..." I said, worriedly.

My first thought was Rocky and Brandon. Ethan noticed my original, less than thrilled reaction after Brandon proposed. He was super observant like that...

Did he know something was wrong?

Dare You to Move

"Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here(x2)
Between who you are
And who you could be
Between how it is
And how it should be yeah
I dare you to move(x2)
I dare you to lift
Yourself up off by the floor
I dare you to move(x2)
Like today never happened
Today never happened before
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here" Dare You to Move by Switchfoot 

The cake was frosted and decorated and put in the refrigerator around 10:30pm. I was in bed, showered, clothes picked out and my nails clean by 11pm. I woke up at 6:30 the next morning and ironed my dress, straightened my hair, and got dressed before waking Trevor up before his alarm.

“What time do we need to leave?” I asked him as he squinted up at me.

“Church starts at 10.” He mumbled, trying to roll back over.

“Wake up, there might be traffic.”

“On Sunday?”

“Easter Sunday." I added.

He still laid there. I shook his arm.

“C’mon, I'll drive. You can sleep in the car.”

“You can’t drive. You don’t know where we're going.” Trevor groaned as he sat up.

“It's called a GPS, Trevor, most cars and phones have it.” I answered smartly.

“Where we're going is off the grid.”

“Even more reason for us to get going. And I need food. I still refuse to eat game meat.” I informed him.

“You’re such a brat.” Trevor complained, getting out of bed. I smiled at him. Trevor wasn't a morning person. I wasn't naturally either, but I was running off nerves. I instantly forgave his grumpy attitude.

“Let's go, out of the bed. Move it!”



After he sluggishly got up, dressed in a shirt and jeans (he was changing at church), we got in the car and took off. We stopped at Burger King. Once he was fed, he was in a much better mood. I took that as my opening to ask what he meant by "off the grid."

“The Church we're going to is in a town outside of Wichita Falls. It was originally cattle land. It was founded by my great, great, great, great, great great, great-“

“There's a town that old in Texas?” I asked, suspiciously.

“I might be a little off with the number of greats” he admitted, smiling.

“I bet the cow you are!” I said in a country accent.

He turned up the music and I laughed.

“Alright, I'm sorry, continue please.” I said, turning it back down.

“Are you gonna listen now?” he taunted me.

"Yes sir." I saluted him, sarcastically.

“Anyway, my granny is from the same town. Her grandfather started the church. That's where we're going." Trevor explained.

"Ok, cool." I smiled at him. I turned the music back on and jammed out to a top 40s station. The traffic was heavier than normal, with the holiday and light rain, but once we got out of Dallas, it was smooth sailing. The radio station started to fade out the closer we got to Wichita Falls, so I pulled out my phone.

"Just tune the radio. There's a great classic rock station." Trevor said.

I made a face. "Nope, passenger is the DJ." I replied.

"Since when?" He asked, giving me a sideways glance.

"Since forever. That's the rules. Besides, we should probably listen to something more church appropriate." I said, connecting my phone to the aux cord. One moment later, Hozier's "Take me to Church" played in the car.

Trevor laughed at me. "Don't stand next to me when we get to church. You're gonna get struck down."

I laughed. "Fine!" I said, before switching to the classic rock station Trevor requested. He frowned when he heard a Christian band. "I forgot they play Christian music Sunday morning."

"Good, we should listen." I grinned at him. The only song I knew was a song by Switchfoot.

When I saw the exit for Wichita Falls, I started to fix my hair and make-up. I re-did the ponytail half my hair was in, and straightened the rest through my fingers.

I didn't apply much makeup, especially since I hadn't mastered makeup in a moving vehicle, but I did my eyelashes with mascara, blue eye liner , and a bronze eye shadow.

"You look nice." Trevor said, looking over at me as I examined my final look. It was simple, but pretty. I felt confident, without feeling like I was doing too much.

"Thank you." I smiled. I hoped it held up. The rain was coming down harder as we drove through Wichita Falls.

Trevor's mom called him at 9:30.

"Hey mom." Trevor answered, putting the phone on speaker.

"Where are you?" She asked him, hurriedly.

"About 20 minutes away. We're already in Wichita Falls." He replied.

"Don't take the back roads. Peter and Lizzy got stuck in the mud. Y'all are gonna be late." His mom informed him.

"Sorry mom. Lily made me stop for food." Trevor grinned at me.

"You ate too! And I had to wake you up." I exclaimed.

"'Cause you kept me up late-" Trevor chuckled.

"Just get here fast. Your granny is already asking if you're gonna make it on time." Trevor's mom cut us off.

"I'll try. See ya in a little bit." Trevor hung up, stepping on the gas.

"Are we gonna make it?" I asked.

"Maybe, but I still have to change." Trevor shrugged, nonchalantly.

"We should have left earlier." I told him.

"The dirt roads would have got us there in time. I can't predict the weather."

"Meteorologists do. You could have checked it."

"Aren't you smart?"

"One of the many things you love about me." I smiled.



Trevor sped and we arrived at the small white southern Baptist church with 5 minutes to spare. Trevor grabbed his suit from the backseat and I grabbed the cake. Trevor took me through a side entrance and headed to the bathroom after pointing out the kitchen. It was about the same size as the kitchen in my apartment, with a simple 4 pot burner, an oven, a sink, refrigerator and counters that were filled with food. I set the cake on the counter after shifting a few things.

"There you are. Where's my son?" Mrs. Tobin said, as she startled me from the doorway.

"Bathroom." I supplied quickly. "Happy Easter. I love your dress."

"Thanks. You too." She returned. She was wearing a peach colored dress with a matching blazer. Her short blond hair was pulled back tightly in a clip. She looked lovely but flustered.

Trevor walked into the tiny kitchen and Mrs. Tobin finally flashed a smile. I grinned too. He cleaned up nice in a blue blazer, matching fitted slacks and a crisp white button down. The tie he wore was a pattern of blue, white and black and matched perfectly with my dress. He looked great.

"Hi mom. Happy Easter." He said, smiling and giving her a big hug.

"Happy Easter son!" Mrs. Tobin beamed.

When Trevor pulled away, he turned his smile on me. Yep, I could get used to suit and tie Trevor!

"Mom, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Lily. Lily, this is my mom." He said, teasing me.

"Stop it Trevor." I blushed.

"Yes, stop it and come on before the sermon starts." Mrs. Tobin said, leading us through the doorway and out to the main room.

There were 8 rows of wooden pews on two sides of the room that were already filled with people. Even though the rain stopped, it was still cloudy so the windows did nothing to brighten the room. Artificial lighting lit the room from ceiling fans. The organist was already playing music at the front, beside a huge cross.

I trailed Trevor, watching his steps on the rich burgundy carpet. We stopped suddenly, and I looked up to see Trevor's Granny in the front pew. She was wearing a pale yellow skirt set with a huge white hat with a matching yellow ribbon.

"Happy Easter Granny." Trevor said, giving her a hug as she sat.

"You're late. They're about to get started." She nagged him.

"We're right on time then." Trevor smiled.

His granny didn't respond, but put her purse in her lap. "Sit down."

"No, go ahead mom. We'll join you afterwards." Trevor said, grabbing my hand. Trevor's mom narrowed her eyes at him and his granny just gave him a nod, giving me a passing glance. I smiled and followed Trevor as he walked towards the back greeting pretty much everyone.

"Trevor, we should have sat with your family." I whispered, after we took our seats.

He shook his head. "No. I always hated sitting up front. I'm gonna tell them you couldn't sit that close to a cross."

I pinched him on his leg when he grinned.

"Oww!"

"Thou shalt not lie!" I reminded him.

"Thou shalt not pinch."

"That's not one of the ten commandments."

"You sure?" He asked me, wrapping his arm around me.

"Um, about 70% sure." I replied.

The choir started singing a hymn and I hushed. The service wasn't that different from chapel in college. After the hymns, Pastor Alan led us in a prayer. I put my head down and listened as he thanked God for our blessings, including everyone being able to gather to praise God's name.

"Amen." I repeated with everyone.

I followed along with the bible in the pew as he went over scriptures that detailed Jesus' resurrection. The choir sang again as the collection plate went around. Trevor and I both put in a twenty before passing it along. Pastor Alan's son, Pastor Alan Jr, stood in front of the congregation to start the sermon.

He started with the scripture his father ended on:

"But now hath Christ been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of them that are asleep. For since by man [came] death, by man [came] also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive."

He then explained how Jesus was resurrected and ascended to the heavens with his father, God. Pastor Alan Jr. gave an engaging sermon on how as sinners, we are all spiritually dead; but because Jesus died for our sins, we can be reborn and ascend into heaven with our father God too. His words were full of passion as he urged us to follow God's path to salvation. It was uplifting just listening to him preach.

He then did a call to the alter, offering anyone and everyone to come accept Jesus as their savior. Trevor nudged me as the choir sang an inviting hymn.

I gave him a small smile. "Have you been Baptized?"

"Yes, as a baby. Apparently it was a huge argument between Mom and Granny."

"Your mom didn't want you to get Baptized?"

"No, Granny didn't. She doesn't believe parents can make a spiritual commitment for their child: just raise them right."

Strangely, I agreed with his granny.

A group of people made their way down, some renewing their commitment to God, others starting new. Afterwards, the service ended and people started to make their way back to the kitchen. Trevor and I joined his family up front to greet everyone. Trevor hugged all the ladies in the choir. He shook hands with Pastor Alan while I complimented Pastor Alan Jr. on his wonderful sermon.

"All the glory goes to God; he inspired every word. We love seeing new faces out here. You make sure Trevor brings you down here every time y'all visit." He smiled at me.

I nodded. "Absolutely."

We then joined everyone in the kitchen. A group of ladies had the food heated up and everyone lined up buffet style to get a plate.

"Take everything, but there's a few things you can't eat." Trevor whispered to me while handing me a paper platter.

"Ok..." I said.

There was ham, brisket, and fried chicken which Trevor deemed safe(meaning purchased at the store). He also told me to get extra corn casserole and macaroni and cheese because it was the best. He warned me to eat the potato salad at my own risk: Betty, the pastor's wife, made it and it always had egg shells in it. He made me avoid the deviled eggs at all cost, telling me if I ate it, I would spend the rest of the day in the bathroom.

"Ew." I frowned up, pushing it far away. "How do you know she made it?"

"'Cause everyone makes the same thing every year." Trevor smiled.

Interesting...

Trevor's granny made the macaroni and cheese. It was one of the best I've ever tasted.

"Mrs. Tobin, this is delicious." I complimented Trevor's Granny as I ate. She insisted Trevor sit down next to her again, and I sat beside him, next to his mom.

"Call me Helen. That Mrs. Tobin stuff is too formal." She said.

"Thank you-" I started, a little stunned by her pleasant attitude. I looked nervously at Trevor's mom. Trevor's mom was concentrating on her food and missed my glance.

"So how did you like the service?" Helen asked me.

I quickly chewed and swallowed. "It was wonderful. I told Pastor Alan how much I enjoyed his sermon."

"A little too flamboyant for me, but I'm used to my uncle's sermons. They bored me to tears coming up before I was saved." Granny said, not even lowering her voice. Trevor barely contained his chuckle. No way the pastors didn't hear her.

"When you were coming up, people came to hear the word: whether it fell on deaf ears was entirely up to the listener. Now we have to compete with the internet and TV just to get people to show up." Pastor Alan Jr. commented.

"What church did you attend growing up Lily?" Trevor's mom asked me.

"I didn't." I admitted, embarrassed.

"That's the best thing about my God: it's never too late." Pastor Alan senior comforted me.

 I smiled, gratefully. "I will say, I was never more inspired to join a church before today."

"We would be happy if this church was your home until you and Trevor find one in Dallas." Pastor Alan said.

"Hey, I thought we were talking about Lily. How'd I get into this?" Trevor cut in, with a smile.

"Because being saved is more than pouring some water over your head when you were a baby." Helen quipped. She was talking to Trevor, but looked at his mom.

"Granny, you need to try some of this coconut cake Lily made." Trevor changed the subject, heading towards the counter where the cake sat.

"Are you trying to kill me? You know I can't do all those sweets."

I knew she would think that.

"Lily measured out everything: the carbs and sugar per slice." He said, cutting her a slice of the pre-measured cake. He handed to her. "It's a smaller piece, but you can eat it. I even helped her make it. Try it."

"Let me pray on it first." She said, picking up her fork. I held my breath and Trevor laughed as she took a bite.

She chewed it with a thoughtful look on her face.

"What is that?" She asked.

I gulped. "What's what?"

"Did you get a jelly bean?" Trevor asked.

"I know what a jelly bean is. What gives it that coconut flavor?"

"Coconut?" Trevor grinned while everyone started laughing.

"I'm not talking to you." Helen turned to me.

"Maybe it's the Coco Lopez?"

"Lopez? What is that?"

Oh God, she's going to think that family she can't keep up with had something to do with the cake.

"It's cream of coconut. Like they use in pina coladas." I rapidly explained.

"That's what I'm tasting. It reminds me of a pina colada." Helen nodded. "I tell you what, we can trade recipes before you leave."

I smiled, relieved. "I would like that."

After lunch, all the members went outside to start the egg hunt for the kids. You could tell it was a tight knit community; the type of town where everyone knew everyone. They all cheered on each other's kids and scolded the bad behaving kids. It was so cute. Muddy, but cute.

Trevor introduced me as his girlfriend, but I was still very much an outsider. I didn't let it bother me though. I was perfectly content watching Trevor goof around with all his family and friends while I sat to the side, mud free. I figured I got Trevor all the time, I could let him do his thing for a day.

After the egg hunt, I thought we were going to head back to Dallas, but Trevor corrected me.

"No, we gotta go visit my uncle. He takes care of the land and the store out here." Trevor told me. "Do you want to change?" He asked.

"No, I'm okay if we're meeting more of your family."

"Ok. Be right back."


After he changed, we left the church. We drove for 5 minutes before we turned on a street named "Tobin".

"Ohmygod-er-gosh- stop!" I said, pointing out the sign. "Is this where the land is?"

"Yes..." He said, slowing down.

"So y'all have your own street?!?" I turned to him.

"It's not our street, but it's named after the family."

"How could you not tell me this?"

"Why would I?" He laughed.

"Now I understand why your granny doesn't want to taint the bloodline." I commented.

"What are you talking about?" He said, still laughing.

"You know, your granny wants blond hair, blue-eyed grandchildren to pass this all down to."

"Why would you think that? Did she say something to you?" Trevor questioned.

"No... actually your mom did. At Thanksgiving when we were leaving. She said your granny would be less cranky once you settled down with look alike kids."

"Lily, my mom and granny do not get along. The only time they attempted to was after I was born. My mom always said it was because I looked so much like my dad; she felt like she could correct all the mistakes she made with him. It was just a joke." Trevor explained.

"Oh." I said, thoughtfully.

"Is that why you were so nervous about coming back down here?" Trevor questioned.

"No." I lied.

Trevor pulled up to a nice, singe story house in the middle of nowhere. Really, there was nothing but the house and empty land.

"Lily, I don't care what our kids look like. My granny, nor anyone else, has no say in that. They could come out orange and it wouldn't matter as long as you're their mom."

I nodded, my stomach fluttering at his words. I was equal parts thrilled and terrified at the thought of having kids with him. "Ok, but if our kids come out orange, we have bigger issues." I joked.

"Not necessarily... if we have enough, we can open a chocolate factory."

I smiled. "Are you turning my kids into Oompa Loompas?"

"Are you turning down a chocolate factory?"

"Of course not! I just want to make sure we're on the same page. That's important with parenting."

Trevor laughed. "C'mon. If you should be nervous about meeting anyone, it's my uncle."

"Why?" I asked, my nerves returning as we got out of the car.

"'Cause he administrates the test."

"What test?"

"The test if you can be part of the family."

"What?!?"

"Let's go, out of the car. Move it!”

Pour Some Sugar on Me

"Pour some sugar on me
Ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me
C'mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me
Oh, I can't get enough
I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet yeah
You got the peaches, I got the cream
Sweet to taste, saccharine
'cause I'm hot, say what, sticky sweet
From my head, my head, to my feet
Do you take sugar? one lump or two?" Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard 

After Trevor and I had our talk, everything returned back to normal. Considering it’s normal to be nervous about meeting your boyfriend's family, I started to worry about Easter with Trevor.  I reached out to my friends for advice.

Rocky thought I was being ridiculous since I already met them. I saw her point, but to me it was a huge difference being introduced as a "friend" and as the “girlfriend”. She was no help.

Sammy strongly felt I shouldn't care about what they thought. As much as I wished that was the case, I did care. I wanted them to like me since I planned on having a future with Trevor. Since not caring wasn't going to happen, I decided to follow the advice of my married friend who dealt with her in-laws all the time.

“Just be the best version of yourself.” Amber advised me as we worked out together on her off day.

“What the fuck does that mean?” I huffed, exhaling as I finished my last rep on the ab bench.

“Be respectful and use your manners. No cursing number one. And don’t go over empty handed, bring something.” Amber instructed me, never breaking her stride on the row machine.

That opened another can of worms. I didn’t grow up celebrating Easter, so I had no idea what to make. I didn't wanna risk trying a new recipe and it turning out awful. I definitely needed help.

That's why I called Trevor’s mom. I knew she was surprised to hear from me, but Trevor told me not to worry about bringing anything. Since that wasn't going to happen, I called his mom for help. I asked what she thought I should make.

“You should make the pumpkin roll again. It was delicious.” She suggested.

“I would, but it's pumpkin. Not very springy and Trevor’s granny couldn’t try it.”

“Oh.” Trevor’s mom said. “How 'bout another dessert?”

“I wanted to stay away from desserts all together. Maybe a side dish or a salad. I just don’t know what’s being served.”

“Well, neither do I sweetie. It’s a potluck after church. Bring whatever you want. I suggested a dessert because y'all have such a long drive and the church members will have the kitchen occupied.” Mrs. Tobin explained.

“Ok, I'll look at a dessert then. Thank you Mrs. Tobin.” I thanked her.

"Bye bye.”

I hung up the phone, discouraged. I was stuck making a dessert again. Trevor’s Granny most likely wouldn’t eat it. She probably would think I was trying to kill her with my tricky desserts. I sighed and called my Aunt Patricia.

“Lily, how are you?”

“I’m good. Just stuck.” I answered. "What do you usually make for dessert on Easter?"

"I make the coconut cake with jelly beans as decoration. It looks like little eggs hiding in the coconut. Everyone loves it." My aunt described.

Her coconut cake was amazing. Definitely a favorite of mine. "Think we can make it with artificial sugar?"

"Maybe. I would have to try it first."

“Do you have any low sugar dessert ideas?” I asked, hopefully.

"The only thing I can think of is Jello. Maybe a sugar free mold." My aunt suggested.

Urgh, how underwhelming.

"Why? What's going on?" She questioned.

I explained to her my situation and how I wanted to make a dessert Trevor's Granny could actually try.

“My understanding with diabetes is you just have to monitor your sugar intake. It doesn't have to be sugar free." Patty stated.

I thought about it. She was actually right. I saw Trevor's Granny eating a pound cake with ice cream because she knew how much sugar was in it.

"Can you send me the recipe for the cake?" I asked her.

"Of course. If you make it Saturday, we can do it together." Patty agreed.

"That's a great idea! We could video chat." I said, excitedly.

"On the Internet?"

"Something like that. I'll call Bianca so she can set it up for us on Saturday."

After I got off the phone, I called Bianca to see if she would go home early to help set up Skype for us.

"Grrr... I'm already going home for Easter Sunday. Give me a break." Bianca groaned.

"Jesus died for your sins Bianca! You can sacrifice a Saturday to spend with your mom and help me out!" I exclaimed.

"You sound like her now. Just know, I'm doing this for you and Trevor's relationship; not because of your Jesus guilt trip." Bianca informed me.

"I don't care why you do it, as long as you do it." I laughed.


As soon as Patty sent me the recipe, I started calculating how much sugar was in it. I found a really great app that analyzed the nutrition in a recipe. On Saturday, after I bought all the ingredients, I made the cake together with Bianca and Patty over Skype. With Patty's guidance, the cakes baked beautifully. As they cooled, I chatted with Bianca while I finished the frosting. She caught me up on school, what she did for spring break, and her break up with her boyfriend.

"Aw, I'm sorry things didn't work out with Dino." I said, with a smirk.

"His name is Rex you bitch." Bianca snapped, but I could tell she was holding back a smile. I laughed at her.

"Bianca! Language!" Patty scolded her.

"Lily curses all the time. She taught me." Bianca waved her off.

"At least she has the decency not to do it in my presence." Patty continued.

I let them go to argue and popped the frosting in the freezer. I took the cakes out the pan and sat in the living room to wait for the cakes to cool completely.

I didn't even realize I fell asleep until there was a continuous knock on the door.

"Coming..." I groaned, standing up, looking for my phone. When I didn't see it, I headed to the door. When I saw Trevor out the peephole, I let him in.

"Sorry I'm late. After we picked out the suits for your brother's wedding, we went out to a bar. Did you fall asleep already?" He asked.

"No, I just took a nap. What time is it?" I rubbed my eyes, tiredly.

"Almost 9-" Trevor started.

"Shit!" I turned and raced towards the kitchen. Trevor followed me. "I still have so much to do! How did I sleep so fucking long? Where is my fucking phone? God, I need to stop saying fuck. And God!" I exclaimed, pulling the frosting out of the refrigerator. I tried to stir it, but it was partiality frozen.

Dammit, er, darn it!

"What else do you need to do?" Trevor asked me with a grin.

"Finish the cake, shower, wash my hair, take this Jamaican shit- um, stuff- off my nails, iron my dress and pick out a change of clothes and I have no idea what the weather is like in Wichita Falls right now." I groaned, rubbing the bowl to get it to warm up.

Trevor took the frosting from me. "I can finish the cake. Go take a shower."

"No you can't." I disagreed, taking the bowl from him. "The frosting is frozen!"

"I'll go buy some more-" Trevor said.

"It's a special frosting!" I stopped him.

"Ok... I'll let for it thaw, then I'll ice it. No big deal, it's just a cake." Trevor shrugged.

"It's more than just icing. The coconut has to cover the sides and the top of the cake and I can only use 2 cups! The jelly beans have to be set on the cake so it divides it into 16 slices!! It is a big deal because that's the only way I know how many grams of sugar are in each slice so your Granny can actually eat it!!!" I exploded, stirring the frosting like a mad woman.

"Put the bowl down." Trevor said in a calm voice; There was no hint of playfulness or teasing. It took me by such a surprise, I complied.

He grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes. "My family already likes you, there is nothing to worry about."

"They might like me-"

"No might, they like you." Trevor cut me off.

"Ok, they like me, but as a friend. Not a girlfriend." I said.

"What's the difference?" Trevor asked.

I wanted to tell him his granny would never have blond hair, blue eyed grandchildren from him if he had kids with me, but I bit my tongue.

"It just is." I said, lamely.

"Whatever the difference is, it doesn't matter. You're an amazing person, even when you're attacking frosting." Trevor said.

I snorted. "Shut up Trevor."

Trevor shook his head. "No. I'm obviously not telling you enough. Let me help you out..." Trevor said, pushing his lips into mine. His kiss was sweet and loving, completely easing my mind. I started to pull away when his hands moved to the bottom of my tank top.

"Trevor..." I tilted my face away from him. I gasped in surprise when he pulled my tank over my head, yanking my arms up with it. I wasn't wearing a bra, so it left my breasts exposed. He let my arms back down, my tank still hanging from them, trapping my arms behind my back.

"Trevor!" I protested as I tried to squirm the rest of the way out of my tank.

Trevor smiled at me. It was alarmingly sweet considering how he tightened his grip on my top, securing my arms behind my back. He then moved forward, backing me up. I was startled as much as I was turned on. I jumped when I backed into the counter.

"No, not on the counter. The cake!" I shrieked, scouting away from the resting cake.

Trevor navigated me away from the counter to the table. When the back of my knees hit the table, I hopped on top. Trevor kissed me again, teasing my mouth open with his tongue. I returned his kiss as he explored my mouth, hungrily. The intensity of his kiss started a familiar throb between my legs. He broke the kiss to lay me down on the table. My own body weight was holding my arms down now and I could have easily broke free, but I didn't struggle.

"You're so beautiful." Trevor murmured, grabbing my ankles and pulling me to the edge of the table. He then spread my legs and settled between them. He ran his hands up my legs, my navel, my breasts and neck before stopping on my face.  I moaned out as sparks followed his touch and my body tensed in pleasure.

"And sexy." He bent over, nibbling at my lips before his mouth followed down the same path his hands just traveled up. In between lapping and nipping on my skin, he continued his list. "And smart...and giving... and kind... and so sweet."

I cried out, arching against him as his mouth ignited the sparks on my body. When he got to my navel, he pulled off my shorts.

"What's not to love?" Trevor asked, with a little smile as he removed his clothes. My chest heaved up and down as I panted in anticipation, clenching my legs around him wantingly. He watched me for a moment behind hooded eyelids. I loved his sexy, lopsided grin as his eyes lazily roamed over my body, the contrast of our skin tones when he grabbed my hips, and the way his tone, lean body felt when he leaned against me.

"Trevor." I breathed as his erection pressed against my wetness.

"Lily... I love you... so much." He groaned as he pushed inside me. As he thrust, I pulled him closer to me with my legs. He gripped my shoulders and pulled me up. He snaked his arms around my waist and yanked on my top. As soon as he removed it, I wrapped my arms around his neck, locking my lips on his.

"I love you too Trevor. So fucking much." I stammered when I pulled back for air as he rolled his hips into mine: over and over again rubbing against my clitoris. My body tensed as my orgasm rapidly approached.

"Oh God! Oh Fuck!" I screamed as my orgasm crashed into me. Simultaneously, Trevor came too, trembling as he released.

We clung to each other, struggling to catch our breath.

"This is you helping how?" I asked Trevor with a grin as I pushed my hair, damp with sweat, out of my face.

He laughed. "The point was you don't have to try so hard. You don't have to try at all. Do I need to show you again?" Trevor asked, resting his forehead against mine.

I giggled and hugged him closer. "No... I got it. But you can finish the cake while I shower."

"You sure you trust me with that?" Trevor smiled.

"I trust you with everything." I said, smiling back. "Just wash up first, and keep the cake on the counter. And don't forget the jelly beans. Put a little cluster in the middle of the cake with coconut on top so it looks like the eggs are hidden."

"I thought of something not to love: How bossy you are." Trevor said, taking a step back from the table.

I stood up and kissed him on the mouth. "You know you love it..." I said, patting him on the butt. "Now get to work."





***In honor of the one year anniversary, and I need to get caught up with real time, there will be post everyday next week. Have a great weekend.***

Why do Fools Fall in Love

"Why do fools fall in love?
Why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day
Why do they fall in love?
Why does the rain fall from above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?
Love is a losing game
Love can a be shame
I know of a fool, you see
For that fool is me" Why do Fools Fall in Love By Frankie Lymon and The Teenagers


Trevor and I got ready for work together Monday morning quickly and quietly. Besides the mandatory “Good Morning” and “Have a good day”, we didn't speak. I didn't know if it was lack of sleep or if we were in a fight. I didn't want to be the one who brought it up, so I followed his lead. It didn't mean I wasn't annoyed by the whole situation.

Urgh, I should have just keep my mouth shut. How did Rocky's indiscretion cause problems in my relationship?

My Monday just got worse when I went to work. Ever since I told Kendal I wouldn't trade patients with him, he had been giving me the cold shoulder at work. I felt so bad, I talked to Q about doing a three-way trade with me and Kendal so Kendal could have his freaking 3 day weekend.  Q agreed, after I begged and promised to work two weekends of his choice. We finalized the details Monday morning and got it approved by Sandra.

When I went to lunch, I pulled Kendal aside to tell him what I did. He just curled his lips at me and told me, “Like you said, it's just inflammation. He’ll be done in 6 weeks. It's ok.”

 “Are you sure?" I asked him. After the bitch fit he threw, it took everything in me not to flick him off in his smug face.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. Have a good lunch." Kendal said dismissively.

"Thanks Kendal!" I said. I knew he could tell I was being sarcastic, but he didn't say anything. When I got ready to leave, Kendal was rehabbing the boy who went to Darren's school. Kendal said something to him that made the kid laugh before nodding at me. I ignored him and headed home.

I went home and my spirits were instantly lifted by the smell of food wafting from the kitchen. I walked into the kitchen, Justine at my feet.

"Hey Jasmine." I greeted her as she stood over the stove. "What are you making?"

"Chicken and rice. It'll be ready in 30 minutes if you wanna pig out with me." Jasmine said looking up from the stove, giving me a weak smile.

"Sounds like your day was as awesome as mine." I quipped, grabbing a glass for water.

"It sucked. Lisa informed us her lease went up, so she's charging more to rent a booth. I haven't heard back from the job I interviewed at. I instagram stalked Reggie. He's in South Padre DJing for spring break. It's just that type of Monday." She complained.

"It's a good thing you already started looking for a new job if your boss is raising the prices. It's only been a week since the interview, I wouldn't stress about it: no news is good news. And remind yourself how shitty Reggie while you were together. That always worked for me." I suggested.

"Yeah, I might be inviting Kendal over later. That works for me." Jasmine said.

"If he says one thing to me, I'm kneeing him in the balls, so it might not work as well for you." I threatened.

 "What did he do?" She asked.

I explained to her his reaction to me turning down the trade at first, then explained how I worked it out, and he was still acting like a jerk.

"Why are all the pretty ones always fools?" Jasmine pondered out loud.

I cracked a smile too. "'Cause there so good looking, they never had to work on their personalities."

Jasmine finally laughed. "That's so true. I'll go to his place tonight. I'll make him do all the work." She grinned at me.

I shook my head. "Girl power."

I sipped on my water and asked the question I shouldn't have, but it was too tempting not to.

"What's up with Jake?" I asked, casually.

"Something's up with Jake?" Jasmine asked, keeping her back to me.

"Yeah, well maybe. I don't know. It was more awkward between us than normal. I figured that as time went by, it would be less awkward like it is with Ethan, but it's not. I really thought we could be friends. Is that foolish of me?" I said.

Jasmine sighed and turned around. "It's not foolish of you, it's just hard for him. It's like that expression: Vivieron felices y comieron perdices y a mí no me dieron {They live happily and eat porridge and didn't give me any}"

I smirked at that expression.

"It's silly but true. Kelly and Omar are trying for another baby, his best friend just got engaged, his ex is wishing for an engagement ring from her boyfriend..." Jasmine explained.

I sighed. I wished we were still friends, so I could tell him it wasn't what it seemed. Well, maybe with Omar and Kelly, but not everything. Rocky cheated and it was causing a rift between Trevor and I.

"Tell him there is plenty of porridge to go around."

Jasmine snorted. "Yep, he just needs to find one bowl and stick with it."

"All this food talk is making me hungry." I smiled.

"Then let's eat!"

After we ate, Jasmine headed to Kendal's and I took Justine outside for a walk around my apartment. I then left her at home to hit the gym. Trevor called and I answered, letting him know I was working out. He told me to give him a call when I was done.

I did exactly that, telling him I had a bad case of the Mondays. He teased me, asking if that was possible considering I had Tuesdays off. I told him it was and that a hot bath and my bed were the cure. He didn't offer to drop by, so I didn't invite him. We exchanged "I love you" before we got off the phone.

Tuesday morning I was feeling much better. I went grocery shopping for me and Trevor. After dropping off the groceries at his place, I went back to mine and started on the laundry. I gave Justine a bath then started binge watching Empire. Amber told me how much she loved the show, so I decided to give it a try. I was so glad I did. I washed and folded my clothes, towels and sheets before I realized it was 5pm, I was that into the show.

I stopped after the end of the 5th episode and called Trevor but he didn't answer.  Not even a minute after I called, he texted.

Trevor: Still at work. TTYL

For some reason, that text really annoyed me. Why couldn't he just answer the fucking phone and tell me that? I know I said I was going to work on the way I argued, but this passiveness wasn't going to work for me. Is this what agreeing to disagree meant? Because I wasn't liking it. I would rather fight, make up and move on.

I called my brother to see if he was still at work too. My irritation at Trevor grew when I discovered he was already home. I took a deep breath and calmed myself, asking Cam if he wanted company. When he agreed, I joined him.

With April being one day away, the countdown to Cam's wedding and him moving was starting in my head. I had to focus on how excited I was that he was getting married so I wouldn't feel upset that he was leaving. We hung out together at his place, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. I brought over some fajitas meat, so he grilled while I fixed the toppings. Jenna made it home right when we were finishing up.

"Where's Trevor?" She asked me.

"Still at work. He's gonna call when he gets off." I answered before we sat down and ate. Jenna was telling us about her going away party at work when Trevor called. I told him I was at my brother's apartment, and he said he would head our way. By the time he showed up, I was full.

"Hey Jenna. Lily." Trevor said, leaning over the couch to kiss me on the forehead.

"Hey Trevor. Want me to make you a plate?" I asked, politely.

"No, I got it. Thank you though." He declined, going into the kitchen with my brother. When I felt Jenna watching me watch Trevor walk away, I turned to her.

"How is the wedding coming together?" I asked.

Jenna was leaving next week for Kansas City, but the majority of everything was done. She told me she and her sisters were going dress shopping, and she would gladly pick me out a dress. If I didn't want that, she told me the only requirements were that it be a royal purple, with neutral colors and knee length.

Trevor and Cam came back into the room at the same time I agreed to let her pick out my dress, telling her she was the most laid back bride ever.

"I have enough on my plate with the move. I don't have time to be a bridezilla. I kinda can't wait for the wedding to be over." Jenna smiled.

"Me too. Weddings are all I hear about." Trevor commented, before biting into his fajitas.

"Oh yeah, Rocky just got engaged." I told Jenna and Cam.

"Aww, tell her I said congratulations." Jenna responded.

"Did she tell her mom?" Cam asked.

I nodded. "She was out here for it. They got engaged Sunday."

"Oh, just wondering why she didn't announce it." Cam said.

Trevor cleared his throat and I sent him a glare.

"Probably because everyone was there."

After dinner, Trevor and I headed back to his place. He watched TV while I started to compose a birthday collage for Rocky. I looked over old photos from college. It was so hard finding a picture without Bilal. Back then, I stuck to taking pictures of everyone because I hated being photographed. A lot of my pictures of Rocky included Bilal because they were inseparable.

I texted Ramon to send me a baby picture. I then used a picture from when I first moved to Dallas and Rocky and I lived together. Trevor took the picture of us, posing at the camera, surrounded by boxes of my stuff that he and Cam just brought in. After we took the picture, Rocky commanded Trevor to get back to work. I laughed at the memory.

"What are you laughing at?" Trevor grinned at me.

"One second and I'll show you." I said. I arranged the photos of Rocky and wrote the caption:

Happy Birthday to my better half of the last 8 year's: Love you Racqelle AKA Rocky AKA Future Mrs. Carter! #28 #April1st #NoFooling

I then showed it to Trevor. The grin fell off his face.

"You're announcing their engagement?" Trevor asked.

I read back over it. "Not really. I think the only people who would know for sure already know." I pointed out. "It's like if someone called me your future wife."

Trevor nodded and didn't say anything else. The next morning, before I posted, I removed the future Mrs. Carter part.

I didn't have to worry about announcing their engagement. Brandon did it in a touching tribute on Facebook. He posted a picture of the two of them at her birthday party. They were kissing, the ring shining brilliantly on her finger as she caressed his face.

He captioned it:

Happy Birthday to the love of my life. Can't wait to celebrate next year as husband and wife.

I immediately liked the picture. After work, I stopped by Michael's and grabbed a wedding planner and bridal magazines. I also stopped by the liquor store and bought her a Crown Apple gift set.

I then made my way over to Rocky's house. I rang the doorbell because I didn't call so I could surprise her.

"Happy Birthday!" I cheered when she opened the door.

Rocky smiled as she let me in. We went to the living room and I handed her gifts.

She smirked at the combination. "So I should be intoxicated while I plan my wedding?"

"Anything helps. Especially if you have less than a year to plan." I smiled, referencing Brandon's post.

"He's tripping if he thinks we can plan a destination wedding in under a year." Rocky snapped.

"Y'all really wanna do Jamaica?" I asked, excitedly.

"He does." She said, lacklusteredly.

My excitement died. I was willing to push aside how I felt about the cheating and the lying even though I was completely against it. Despite everything I knew, I was going to support whatever Rocky wanted. At the party, I was so sure this is what she wanted. Now, not so much.

"Rocky... Is this wedding what you want?" I asked her, gently.

"Of course! I need to take a shower. Brandon is taking me out to dinner. I'll call you later. Thanks for the gifts!" She said, ushering me out. I nodded sadly, but left.

I thought about it on the way to Trevor's apartment. I wanted to believe Rocky, but now I wasn't sure. How could I just stand by while Rocky potentially made a huge mistake? What other choice did I have?

It made it worse that the only person I could talk to about it was off limits. I didn't want any more drama with Trevor. I just wanted a carefree, easy night. Maybe Trevor and I could resolve our differences the way Jake and I did: with sex. I realize that didn't solve any problems, but we were in a disagreement over Rocky. So it doesn't really count, right?

I was ready to put my plan into action when Trevor was sitting on his couch with his laptop.

"Hey sexy..." I purred, rubbing my hand over his chest and trying to give him a kiss. He pulled away, putting his hand over my mouth. He clicked a button on the laptop before speaking.

"I was recording. I'm gonna have to edit you out." Trevor smiled at me, before giving me a kiss.

"What were you recording?" I asked.

"A how-to video. On coding-"

"Blah blah blah nerd talk. I'm going to cook dinner, hurry up and finish so we can 'talk'." I hinted.

Trevor frowned. "I don't think I have anything."

"Yes you do. I went shopping for you. You didn't notice the groceries?" I asked, heading to the kitchen.

"Guess not." He shrugged.

"You're welcome." I muttered under my breath.

"Thank you!" He called back. I could have sworn I heard sarcasm, but I let it go. I put on my headphones and cooked spaghetti while I listened to my cooking playlist. Dinner was ready in under an hour and I took my headphones off to make our plates. Trevor joined me in the kitchen.

"Hey, perfect timing. Dinner is served." I told him.

"Did you hear me call you?" He asked.

"Nope." I said, pulling off my headphones. We sat at the table together.

He pushed around his food while I ate.

"What did you wanna talk about?" He asked.

I took a bite of food to hide my smile. I didn't want to talk, I wanted to have sex. I figured I would joke with him. It was April Fool's Day.

"I'm pregnant." I announced.

His face turned pale. "How?..."

"I must have messed up on vacation. We're having a Japanese baby." I grinned.

"You're joking?..." Trevor asked.

"Of course I am." I laughed, digging into my food. I stopped when I realized he wasn't laughing or eating.

"T-Rev, it was a prank. April fool's day. Ha-ha funny..." I trailed of, with a little smile.

"I know what a prank is. That wasn't funny." Trevor stated.

"Us having a Japanese baby? That's hilarious." I tried the joke again.

"I don't think you should joke about being pregnant." He muttered, staring at his plate.

"Anything else Trevor?" I sighed in frustration.

He finally looked up at me, raising an eyebrow challengingly.

"We can't talk about Rocky, I can't joke about being pregnant. Anything else we need to add to the list of things you don't want to hear? Because it's getting hard to keep up."

"You don't understand why I don't want to hear about my girlfriend joking about being pregnant and being ok with cheating?" Trevor asked me, putting down his fork.

"No, I don't. I told you I didn't wanna just be your girlfriend. I thought we were still going to be best friends. We used to be able to talk about anything. And I never said I was ok with cheating!" I exclaimed. When I caught myself raising my voice, I stopped.

"No, just pretend like it didn't happen. It's ok; it won't happen again because she chose him." Trevor countered.

"I'm not going to judge her because she's not handling it the way I want her to. You shouldn't either. Rocky fucked up, I get that. But even you said I should just stay out of it, so I am. What can I do but pretend like it didn't happen?"

When he sat there, I continued.

"She's your friend too. Do you really think Rocky is a heartless bitch who just cheated to see if she could get away with it? You can talk to her." I questioned him.

He shook his head, silently. "I tried. She's pretending like it didn't happen too. I don't get how she could do that."

"No one gets into a relationship thinking they're going to cheat." I said.

"It's not right to just cover it up. The lying is what kills me. Brandon has no clue. If you ever cheated on me, I would want to know." Trevor finished.

I watched him in silence. After a moment, I spoke. "We aren't arguing over Rocky. You think I would cheat on you?"

"You said it yourself: people don't get into a relationship thinking they're going to cheat. If it ever happened with us, I don't want it to be a secret." Trevor confessed.

"I don't see it happening between us, but I promise, if it does, I would tell you the truth." I assured him.

Trevor nodded and I rubbed my hand across my face.

"I thought you were going to give me the benefit of the doubt and start talking to me about things I may not want to hear?" I asked.

"I didn't know why it was bothering me so much until right now. I was just waiting for it to blow over." Trevor admitted.

"Me too. I was thinking I was gonna come over and have make up sex with you." I said, picking up my plate.

"Really?" Trevor grinned.

"Yeah. That's why I wanted to talk." I said, rinsing my plate off.

"I thought you meant a serious talk." Trevor said, between bites of food.

"No, I said 'talk'." I emphasized.

"That's not how you hint at sex." Trevor laughed at me.

"Whatever." I said, starting to clean the kitchen. Trevor grabbed the sponge from me, holding my hand.

"I got it babe. Go to bed and I'll bring you dessert when I'm done." Trevor said, winking at me as he stroked my hand.

My body flushed with his obvious innuendos. "That sounds delicious." I said, pressing my lips against his, teasingly. "Ice cream is in the freezer." I smiled against his lips before turning to flee to the bedroom.

I went to my room and played on my phone. I had a lot of notifications from the picture I posted of Rocky, but I also noticed Christian tagged me in some photos too. Not only from the birthday party, but a few from SXSW. He had pictures with Mike Will and the rap duo Rae Sremmurd and tagged me in them with the caption:

Wish you were here

 I laughed and commented on them while waiting for Trevor. A half an hour passed and still no Trevor. I was about to go out in the kitchen when Trevor finally appeared. He was holding a strawberry sundae.

"You made that for me?" I said, eyeing the ice cream topped with whipped cream and strawberry sauce. There were even gummy bears on top.

"Of course. It's all yours." He said, handing to me before sitting on the bed. I took a huge bite...

... and spit it out as soon as it touched my tongue.

"What the fuck Trevor?!?" I sputtered, sticking out my tongue to get the offending taste out my mouth.

"That's an April's fool prank. Ice cream, sour cream, ketchup and the gummy bears are from Halloween." Trevor laughed.

"You asshole!" I yelled, pushing the disgusting dish away before hopping out the bed and racing to the bathroom.

"Aww, our Japanese baby didn't like it?" Trevor called after me, laughing.

Murder She Wrote

"Watch here now, it name
Pretty face and bad character
Them the kind of livin can't hold Chaka (follow me!)
Ah pretty face and bad character
Them there kind of livin can't hold Chaka
Say say you pretty
Your face, it pretty
But yuh character dirty
Girl you just act too flirty flirty
You run to Tom, Dick, an also Harry
An when you find your mistake
You talk 'bout you're sorry, sorry, sorry (Come now!)... 
I know this little girl, her name is Maxine
Her beauty is like a bunch of rose
If I ever tell you 'bout Maxine
You would of say I don't know what I know (but)
Murder she wrote (x4)" Murder She Wrote by Chaka Demus & Pliers


"Your best friend just got engaged..."

I dissected Trevor's words in my head over and over again.

I watched as Rocky nodded, holding out her shaking left hand. Brandon slipped the ring on her finger, smiling broadly. Rocky grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him passionately as everyone cheered and applauded.

best friend...

My beautiful, domineering, brutally honest, right fighting, confrontational best friend couldn't even tell me the truth.

How could she think any of this was okay?

Rocky still hadn't spoke, even as her mom pulled her hand away to examine the ring. She was speechless. I was too, but probably for a completely different reason.

...just got engaged.

They just agreed to get married; To vow to love, honor, comfort and keep each other. Forsaking all others for the rest of their life. How could she agree to that? How could she make that promise after what she did? I grabbed Trevor's rum runner and finished it in one gulp.

"Lily." Trevor whispered to me, tightening his grip on my waist.

I sent Trevor an evil glance. He immediately loosened his grip on my waist. I was in kill mode and was 2 seconds away from grinding my booties into his foot in anger. Then, he gave me that pleading look and I got lost in his deep blue eyes. They instantly quelled the storm of emotions raging through me and I took a deep breath.

"I know it's fucked up, but I need you to stay calm Lilypad." Trevor whispered against my ear. I nodded, my face relaxing.

The fact that Trevor cursed let me know he felt as strongly about it as I did, but causing a scene wasn't the way to handle the situation. I needed to calm down.

"I will. I promise." I returned, grabbing his hand that was holding my waist. I forced a smile on my face.

Everyone was finished eating and champagne and desserts were being ordered to celebrate. I declined on dessert as I made my way out the booth. As Rocky's best friend, I needed to be one of the first to congratulate them on their engagement. I dragged Trevor with me.

Mrs. Carter was pulling away from hugging Rocky when I approached them.

"You're engaged!?!" I exclaimed, giving Rocky a hug. Surprised was the most appropriate emotion that I was feeling at the moment. I decided to roll with it.

"I'm engaged!" Rocky confirmed, smiling when I pulled away. Trevor cleared his throat and Rocky's eyes shifted to him, her smile weakening.

 "Congratulations you two." Trevor said, shaking Brandon's hand before we switched places. I noticed a brief, awkward moment before Trevor went in to hug Rocky. I turned my attention on Brandon, hoping he didn't catch that.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, giving him a hug.

"We both know you would have told Rocky." Brandon said, flashing a million watt smile. He was gleefully ignorant. I was envious of that. I just wanted to be that happy for them too.  A part of me wished I didn't know the truth.

"We don't know that..." I argued. Honestly, I didn't know what I would have done.

Sabotage came to mind...

"You would have. You know how much she hates surprises. Your loyalty to Rocky would have compelled you." Brandon playfully argued.

"By loyalty, you mean fear of her wrath?" Trevor joked, lightly.

Brandon laughed and I laughed nervously as well. I could tell Rocky was forcing a smile.

"Let me see the ring!" I exclaimed, moving Trevor aside to grab her hand.

"Oh wow, that's gorgeous." I complimented her.

"Thank you. I love it." Rocky said, staring down at her ring in awe. Trevor cleared his throat again, causing Rocky to look up at him.

"You did good Brandon. Are you taking notes Trevor?"  I said, nudging Trevor before it got awkward again.

"Yeah Brandon. Great job." Trevor said, mockingly.

Brandon laughed, good-naturedly. "I want nothing to do with that."

Mostly everyone lined up behind us to congratulate the couple, so we moved out the way. I pulled Trevor aside before we went back to our table.

"What the hell was that?" I hissed at him.

"What do you mean?" Trevor asked, confused.

"You cleared your throat every time Rocky spoke!" I told him.

"I did?"

"Yes, it was so obvious."

"I didn't mean to." Trevor said, apologetically.

"Well, pull it together." I coached him.

"I will. I'll be right back." Trevor said.

"Where are you going?" I asked him, frustrated.

"I have to call Bilal before he finds out another way." Trevor said, softly.

I nodded, disheartened. I forgot about that piece of this fucked up puzzle.

After he went outside, I made my way to the booth. Jake, Kelly, Omar, Jasmine and Malik moved to the booth to make room for everyone to speak to Rocky and Brandon. I sat next to Jasmine on the end of the booth.

"Did you know?" Jasmine asked me.

"I had no idea." I shook my head. I turned to Jake, who was sitting next to Malik across from Jasmine. "Can you pass me my drink?" I asked. When he did, I thanked him. He nodded in response.

I sipped my drink while everyone talked about the engagement. Ethan and Serena joined us as well.

"You ok Lily?" Ethan asked me as they sat down.

I nodded, straw still in my mouth.

"You're so quiet." He remarked.

I tried to take a long sip of my drink, but the loud slurping alerted me that the drink was empty. I blushed, embarrassed.

I pushed the drink away. "I think I'm still in shock, that's all."

"Is it that much of a shock?  They live together." Jasmine smiled at me.

"I know, but still..." I said, weakly.

"I think I know what it is." Amber said.

I gulped. Maybe she did know! Will cheated enough before they got married, maybe she saw the signs...

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be next." Amber smiled at me.

I breathed a sigh of relief. When Ethan eyed me curiously, I flashed a smile.

"That's it. I'm so jealous. It should have been me." I said, neutrally.

Truthfully, Amber's accusation was a great cover up. I would go with jealousy if anyone questioned my lack of excitement over the upcoming nuptials.

"Really? Y'all have only been dating 4 months." Kelly questioned.

"Yeah, but they've been in love with each other forever and just didn't know. I bet it'll happen sometime this year." Amber teased me.

"The wedding?" Trevor asked, rejoining us.

"Nope, your proposal." I smiled at him as he sat beside me.

"I propose more drinks." Trevor putting his arm around me. I laughed at him.

Jake and Malik offered to go get a round of drinks for everyone. I declined, especially when Sammy made a comment about how I killed the rest of the drink. I didn't even notice how much was in it when I started drinking, but I was definitely feeling buzzed. Sammy agreed to dance off some of the alcohol with me. We left Corey and Trevor together when they decided they would rather watch us dance with each other.

We had a blast dancing to a great mix of Sean Paul, Beenie Man, and Bob Marley. Sammy and I both had dancehall moves; I learned from watching music videos, especially Rihanna. The engagement was the furthest thing from my mind as we bounced to the beat. The only time I even looked at our group was when I met Trevor's eyes. One of the advantage of a day party was that there was actually light in the lounge. I could tell Trevor really was watching me dance as he talked to Chris and Corey.

Every time I caught him watching, I would grind against Sammy. The way he grinned at me let me know he was enjoying the show. I smiled as I remembered how he said sex was the way to get a ring from him. I knew without a doubt I would be working on a ring that night!

"What's so funny?" Sammy asked me over the music as we danced.

"Nothing." I chuckled back. "I think I'm ready for another drink."

Sammy nodded and we made our way over to the bar. I caught Trevor's eyes again and pointed to the bar, signaling where we were going. He nodded in understanding.

At the bar, I went for a calypso and Sammy switched from liquor to wine. She told me she tried to stay sober since she knew Corey wasn't a fan when she got too drunk. I told her my drink would probably be my last since I had to work in the morning.

As I sipped the drink, I felt arms engulf me. I sank into the embrace, automatically assuming it was Trevor. I quickly knew I was wrong when I felt arms too muscular to be Trevor and Sammy gave me a wide-eyed stare. I pulled out of the arms and whipped around, ready to tell whoever it was off.

Christian threw his hands up in surrender. "Don't kill me!" He said, with a grin.

I laughed and gave him a hug. "You were this close to getting told off!" I smiled when I pulled away.

"I can tell." He said, settling next to me at the bar.

"Sammy, you remember Christian right?" I reintroduced them.

"I do. Don't you live in California?" Sammy asked, sipping her wine.

"Good memory. I fly back tomorrow." Christian explained.

"You have great timing. Rocky just got engaged!" I informed him, with as much cheerfulness I could muster.

"You're shitting me." Christian said.

"I shit you not. C'mon. She's gonna be excited to see you!" I said, grabbing his arm. He nodded and we decided to cut across the dance floor to head back to the tables. On our way, the DJ started playing a mixture of "Freaks" by French Montana and Nicky Minaj with the song it sampled, "Murder She Wrote" by Chaka Demus & Pliers.

The crowd went crazy, girls started dutty wining and flipping their hair all over the place.

I tried to follow Sammy as she cut through the dancing bodies, but Christian stopped me, grabbing my arm.

"Come dance with me." He requested.

"No, we need to go to the table." I shook my head.

"One dance. C'mon. I'll show you how to wine." He bargained.

"I know how to wine!" I corrected him.

He grabbed my drink from me. "I'll believe it when I see it."

The challenge and the beat left me no option: I started dutty wining with him. Christian was always an amazing dancer. I was happy that even though he picked up some muscle, his dancing abilities hadn't changed. I was even happier I was able to keep up with him. I rotated my hips in perfect rhythm to the music and against him. I even threw in a few hair flips for fun. When the song was over, I grabbed my drink back from him and we made our way to the table.

"Damn, I didn't know you had moves like that." Christian complimented me as we walked.

"I think I'm kinda offended by that. Why wouldn't I?" I asked, with a smirk.

"I never saw them in college."

"I was studious and focused. I didn't have time for partying and dutty wining." I smiled.

I took him to the booth first to say hello to everyone. Trevor promptly took my drink away from me. I looked at it: it was half full. I didn't remember drinking that much so he was right to take it away. That was a sign I needed to stop if I didn't remember drinking it.

I then took Christian over to Rocky and Brandon. They were cuddled up together, talking to Rachel, Forrest, Amber and Will with their family surrounding them.

"Look who stopped by..." I announced Christian as he smiled.

Rocky looked so surprised. "Christian? You came out for my birthday?" She asked, standing up to give him a hug.

"I was in Austin for SXSW. I wanted to visit some friends before I leave. I'm glad I did. I hear congratulations are in order?" He said, hugging her back.

Rocky lit up with a dazzling smile. "Yes. I just got engaged. Let me introduce you to my fiance." She said, turning to Brandon.

I don't think I ever saw her so ecstatic. It put me at ease and I relaxed. I couldn't have negative thoughts when my best friend was so happy. It was infectious. I went ahead and sat down at the end of the table by Serena.

Christian shook hands and congratulated Brandon before he sat beside me.

"Did Ethan and Jackie ever hook up?" Serena asked me quietly.

I made a face. "No, she tried. Why?"

"Because she's still trying." Serena muttered.

"Urgh, I'll talk to her. I thought she was dating someone." I said, looking for Malik.

"Don't worry. I can handle her." Serena said, a determined look on her face.

I still looked around for Malik. I didn't see him, but I did see Jake standing off to himself, over looking the dance floor. I excused myself to join him.

"Hey." I greeted him, standing beside him.

"Hey." He returned.

"Where's Malik? I think Jackie had too much to drink." I asked.

"Malik and Jackie aren't dating anymore." Jake informed me.

"Really? Since when?" I asked, confused.

"A few months." He answered, shortly.

"Ok..." I nodded. "Did Brandon give you the gift I bought you from Japan?" I asked.

"He did. Thanks." Jake said.

I studied him. "Are you ok?" I asked him.

"I'm good." He answered.

"Ok..." I trailed off, turning to leave.

"Lily?" He called me back. When I turned back, he shook his head. "Nothing. Take care."

I started to question him to find out what he was going to say, but I left it alone. If he thought better of it, I agreed.

"You take care too Jake. In fact, I'll let the money you owe me slide if you promise no strippers at Brandon's bachelor party." I smiled.

He pulled out his wallet and handed me a $20 dollar bill. "I can't make that promise. Besides, from what I heard, I should be worried about you hiring a stripper that looks like me."

I laughed and took the money from him. "I forgot about that guy. This 20 might be going in his g-string tonight!"

"That's between you and Trevor."

"Not if you can keep a secret." I said, holding my finger to my lips.

He pretended like he was zipping his mouth shut and smiled, revealing his dimples. I smiled back and joined Trevor. He offered me a seat on his lap and I quickly accepted.

I watched from a distance as Serena shut down any attempts of Jackie trying to flirt with Ethan. She handled Jackie like a pro with withering stares every time she addressed Ethan. It was hilarious to watch. Serena broke into a smile when she saw me laughing at Jackie. Jackie sent us both a glare before she made her way over to Jake. After Jake ignored her, I decided to do the same.

Everyone slowly started leaving around 8pm. Amber and Will left first. After Jackie struck out with Jake, she decided to be overly friendly with Will. Instead of confronting her like she should have, Amber made Will take them home.

I said goodbye to the Carters as Brandon and Ethan went to walk them out shortly after Amber left. I made a quick trip to the bathroom before Trevor, Corey, Sammy and I joined everyone at the main table. I missed saying goodbye to Forrest, Rachel and Serena as they left while I was in the restroom.

The table was discussing wedding ideas.

"Considering you got engaged at a reggae party, it should be in Jamaica." Christian suggested, turning away from Jackie who had found her way back to the table and next to him.

Brandon smiled. "I love that idea."

"Who's got the time and money to fly everyone out to Jamaica?" Mama Smith cut in.

"Mama, it won't be tomorrow. There will be plenty of time. It's just an idea." Rocky said, defensively.

"Well, I don't like it. Excuse me." Mama Smith said, leaving the table.

Rocky gave everyone an apologetic smile.

"Did I just start something?" Christian asked, returning her smile.

"No, that's just how she is unless she made the suggestion." Ramon assured him.

"Wherever we go, I hope she doesn't bring that attitude." Brandon shook his head.

"She might, but the only thing that matters is you and me." Rocky added.

"You're right." Brandon leaned over to give her a kiss. I smiled a genuine smile as they kissed. Love radiated between them, I couldn't deny that. Maybe that was enough...

"I still say Jamaica..." Christian said, before smiling at me. "How you gonna be mad on vacation?"

"Dutty wine around all them Jamaicans!" I finished the lyric.

Christian laughed. "I thought I would stump you on that one."

"You can't try me on Kanye West lyrics. I know them all." I boasted. Trevor's arm tightened around me and I squirmed in his grip.

As everyone continued to file out, I stayed and listened to them chat more about wedding plans. By now, I was actually interested, not just playing the role of best friend. The remainder of us left together and I gave Brandon and Rocky one final hug.

When we got back to my apartment, we went up to my room. I immediately asked him how Bilal was taking the engagement.

"He's ok. I think he made his peace with Rocky when she cut him off. He just wants to move on." Trevor responded.

"Good, that's probably the best thing for everyone: just forgetting it ever happened." I nodded

Trevor stopped and stared at me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we don't know what all happened-" I started.

"Yeah, we do. She cheated." Trevor said.

"We know that, but we don't know how it happened." I argued.

"Why does it matter?" He questioned. "It happened."

"Obviously, she regrets it. She cut Bilal off. Marriage could be like a brand new start for them." I explained.

"Please tell me you're doing that fake positive shit again."

When I just stood there, he looked at me, incredulously.

"Lily, are you drunk? She cheated! It's not a brand new start. It's lying. How is that ok?"

"I'm not saying it's ok-"

"Then what are you saying?"

"I don't think she's going to do it again." I defended Rocky.

"She should have never cheated at all." Trevor argued.

"I get that, but not everything is black and white. She's happy and he's happy; they're moving forward and they love each other. Isn't that enough?" I questioned.

Trevor stared at me for a long moment, before looking away.

"Let's just go to sleep." Trevor said, laying down on the bed.

I joined him wearing just my bra and panties. I got under the covers, but he didn't.

"Do you want some covers?" I asked.

"No, I'm ok." He answered, putting an arm around me. I sighed and closed my eyes, forcing myself to go to sleep. The positivity and the love I was feeling from the party were dead. I killed them the second I brought up the engagement.

Could You Be Loved

"Don't let them fool ya,
Or even try to school ya! Oh, no!
We've got a mind of our own,
So go to hell if what you're thinking is not right!
Love would never leave us alone,
I am the darkness there must come out the light.
Could you be love and be loved?(x2)
The road of life is rocky and you may stumble too
So while you point your fingers someone else is judging you
Love your brotherman!
Could you be - could you be - could you be love?(x2)
Could you be - could you be love?" Could You Be Loved? By Bob Marley 

The phone rang and rang and rang Tuesday morning as I tried to call Brandon.

When he didn't answer, I called again.

“Urghh…” He finally answered the phone.

“Everyone on her friends list? Brandon? What the fuck?” I exploded at him

“Lily?”

“Yes!!!”

“What are you talking about? And why are you calling so early? And why are you yell-"

“Because you invited everyone on Rocky’s friend list to her birthday party. Why would you do that?” I interrogated him.

“How else was I gonna fill up the tables I reserved?” Brandon asked, jokingly.

I failed to see the humor in the situation. “Brandon, she is gonna hate that! Why didn't you ask me? I would have helped you. It's not too late-“

“Lily-” He tried to cut me off

“Not if you delete it! Like right now!” I continued, talking over him

“No. Rocky's fine with it.”

I was speechless. “Huh?”

“I know better than to plan anything without her approval.” Brandon chuckled at me.

“Oh. Ok.” I said, dumbly. What the fuck? Why would she be ok with that? She was still friends with Bilal.

"Hey Lily?” Brandon said.

“Yes?”

“Good morning.”

“Good morning Brandon.” I said, embarrassed.

I hung up and laid back on the bed, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Who are you yelling at?” Trevor asked, coming back in the room. I rolled over to watch him. He was already dressed in khaki slacks and was putting on a yellow polo. He looked adorably bright and cheerful on the same morning I was bitching at Brandon.

“Brandon.” I confessed.

“Why?’

“Because he invited everyone on Rocky's friend list to her party. I didn't think Rocky would ok that, but she did.”

“Ok…”

“Bilal is still on her friend list.”

“He wouldn't come.” Trevor reassured me.

“But still, that’s so insensitive of her.”

“She’s not thinking about his feeling. She is thinking about protecting herself.”

“I get that, but it's cruel.” I complained.

“She cheated. She’s a cruel person.” Trevor said.

“That’s a little extreme.” I said.

I understood where he was coming from, but I wasn't comfortable with him talking about Rocky like that. Regardless, she was his friend too.

“Sorry. She’s a cheater with a heart of gold.” Trevor grinned, coming to the bed and leaning over me. When he leaned over to give me a kiss, I rolled on my other side.

“Aww, really?” Trevor complained.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s a little funny. You know if it was anyone else you would be saying the same thing.”

I rolled back over. “But it's not anyone else; It's Rocky, our best friend." I frowned

“I know.” He sighed, laying beside me. I just lay there. “Are you really not going to give me a kiss?”

“No.” I said, defiantly.

“You want me to start getting my kisses somewhere else?” Trevor said.

My eyes widened while he had the audacity to smile at me. I punched him on the chest. “It’s not funny.”

“I know, but have you ever heard that expression you gotta laugh to keep from crying?”

“You better take that back or you will be crying."

“Or you could just kiss me...” Trevor grinned, brushing his lips against mine. I smiled too and allowed him to tease my lips with his before I kissed him deeply.

“MMMM…” Trevor rumbled against my lips when I pulled away. “I don’t need anything else when you kiss me."

"You might need an iron if you keep laying down with your clothes on. You don't wanna go back to work wrinkled. Get up." I informed him.

Trevor groaned and pulled away from me. "You really know how to kick start a person's morning don't you?"

"You want a kick?" I warned, getting ready to strike.

"I'm up! I'm up!" Trevor smiled as he got out of bed.



I spent my day off unpacking and finally going through my clothes. I had to stay busy so I wasn't obsessively checking Facebook to see who replied to the invite. I started to pack up my winter clothes and pulled my summer clothes out of my storage on the patio. I tried on my clothes, making sure everything still fit properly. I was happy to see that most everything fit. I knew I gained weight since moving from California, but I blamed the winter. Now that bikini season was here, I would be motivated!

I actually had a few options to wear to the birthday party, but I knew I would still buy something. Maybe not for the party, but definitely for Easter. I stopped worrying about Rocky's party to worry about myself.

I met Trevor's family before, just not as his girlfriend. I knew his mom already liked me, so that alleviated some of my fears. I also knew I wasn't going to win over his granny, but I still wanted to make a good impression on everyone else. A church appropriate outfit would be the first step!

On Friday after work, I met up with Rocky, Sammy, Peyton and Serena to go shopping. We went to the mall and searched shop to shop looking for outfits and chatting. Serena thanked me for the souvenir, letting me know that she saw Ethan recently.

Everyone but me had no problems selecting their outfits. Rocky found her dress first at one of my favorite stores, Bebe. I was a little surprised when Sammy picked a modest, conservative dress there too. I found a lot of dresses, but they were too sexy or not spring-y enough for Easter service.

Serena found a romper at Guess. Apparently, Brandon and Ethan's parents were on the guest list as well and would be making an appearance at Rocky's birthday. Serena and Ethan weren't official yet, but she still wanted to look presentable. It took her a little longer to pull her outfit together.

"Their parents are so easy going, I wouldn't worry about it. Unlike me, whose boyfriend's grandma is so old fashioned, she probably misses segregation." I lamented as I went through a rack of clothes at Guess.

"What did she say?" Rocky exclaimed, looking at me.

"Umm, when she found out I wasn't one of the many Hernandez kids up the street, she asked me where my people were from. Also, Dominicans are not that different from Mexicans since we all speak Spanish." I told her.

"Racist. You need to tell Trevor you're not going put up with that." Sammy shook her head.

"That doesn't sound racist. Just dumb. Next time she says something like that, correct her." Peyton instructed me.

"Anyone who judges based off skin color or what language you speak is a racist in my book." Sammy argued.

"Look up the definition of racist-" Peyton debated her.

"It doesn't matter." I said, stopping the conversation before it got any more heated.
"I just wanted to vent since I can't with Trevor. I'm not trying to compromise Trevor's relationship with his grandma nor am I trying to educate a woman who has been set in her ways for 50 plus years. I'm just going to ignore it." I finished.

"I think that's the best attitude to have." Rocky quickly agreed. I sent her a grateful look.

 "You should have seen my parents' face when I brought home Blake. They're not racist at all, just surprised I dated outside my race." Serena smiled at me.

I laughed. "I pretty much have no choice but to date outside my race since I don't even know my dad's ethnicity."

"Have you dated a white guy before?" Serena asked.

"Nope. Trevor's my first." I grinned.

"Black?" Serena question.

I forced the smile to stay on my face as Rocky shot me a glance and Sammy and Peyton looked confused.

"Briefly. I don't think it classifies as dating." I said, as close to the truth as possible.

Serena laughed. "I gotcha. Did you find anything you wanna try on?" Serena asked.

"No."

"Ok, I'll go check out."

As soon as Serena left, Sammy turned to me.

"She doesn't know about Ethan and me. I'm not telling her!" I said quietly, looking over at Peyton too. Peyton nodded while Sammy shrugged.

We went to Belk, and that's where I ended up finding 2 perfect dresses. Peyton found a cute skirt that she was going to pair with a top. For her birthday presents, Sammy and I bought Rocky's dress, Peyton bought her shoes, and Serena bought her lunch. I offered to take her to get her nails done Saturday, the day before her party. It was the perfect opportunity to try to see where her head was at.

"So... I thought you wanted something small for your birthday. Why did you let Brandon invite everybody?" I commented to Rocky as we sat at our favorite nail bar.

Rocky was going for her classic manicure while I got something more festive with red, green, gold and black nail art. I knew I would have them for Easter. Maybe Trevor's grandma would think I was Jamaican too!

"It's an open invitation. Anybody who wants to come out is fine with me." Rocky said, nonchalantly.

"I remembered when I tried to throw you a surprise party the first year I lived with you. You went off on me in front of everyone." I reminded her.

"Yes, and you cried. It's not a big deal." Rocky brushed off.

"It is big... a big ass party if everyone shows up." I contradicted.

"Do you really believe everyone is going show up?" Rocky asked. I stopped and studied her. I could have sworn I heard a slight quiver in her voice. When she kept staring at her nails and didn't meet my eyes, I knew I didn't imagine it.

"What if they do?" I questioned her, gently.

She looked up at me.

For a brief second, I thought she was going to open up to me. Maybe not tell me the whole truth, but at least ask me to tell Bilal not to come. But that second passed, in so did the vulnerability in her eyes. They hardened, and she went back to her nails.

"Then we'll celebrate my birthday." She said simply.

I went home that night, so frustrated. I didn't want to believe my best friend was a cruel, heartless bitch, but she was making a pretty strong case for it.

Sunday, Corey and Sammy came over to my place so we could head to the party together. Corey and Trevor hung out downstairs, watching stupid vine videos while Sammy and I finished getting ready.

I wore black leggings under the dress I brought because I really did plan to drink and dance the day away. That was how I decided to handle the situation: Celebrate just like Rocky said.

One of the points in Covey's book of effective people was being proactive, not reactive. It basically meant we control how we react to what happens in our lives. Those choices determine how things affect us. Rocky's choices were her own; I wasn't letting them affect me anymore.  I chose to celebrate my best friend's birthday, so that was what I was going to do.

Sammy and I both went for lighter, natural make-up. I decided to wear my hair down in waves while Sammy straightened her hair. I put on my most comfortable pair of black booties and Sammy put on sexy stilettos and we joined the boys downstairs.

"It's way too early for y'all to look so sexy." Trevor said with an appreciative grin.

"What are you talking about Trevor? My girl looks sexy 24/7." Corey smiled. Sammy rewarded him with a kiss.

"I meant, extra sexy." Trevor corrected himself, leaning close for a kiss. I blocked him with my hand.

"Nope. Try again later with a better line." I smirked at him as Sammy and Corey laughed.

We piled into Sammy's Mazda and Corey drove. By the time we got to the lounge, it was 2 hours into the day party and 30 minutes past the arrival time for the party. Reggae music was already thumping as we made our way to the entrance. We walked to the reserved tables where Rocky and Brandon were greeting guests.

"Hey Rocky! Happy early birthday!" I cried, giving her a tight hug. "You look beautiful. You both do!" I complimented Brandon before hugging him too. He looked so handsome in a beige colored suit. They looked amazing together.

"Thank you." Rocky smiled, happily. Everyone greeted each other and wished Rocky a happy birthday before we made our way to the tables. The main table was already filled with people. Jackie, Peyton, Chris, Malik, Omar, Kelly, Ethan, Jasmine and Jake were included in that group. We greeted everyone again before making our way to the second table. Amber, Will, Rachel, Serena, and Forrest had open seats in their long booth.

"Hey Rachel!" I said, giving her a hug. "I love your dress." I smiled at her. She looked stunning in a white, peplum dress.

"Thank you. You look great too. You all do." Rachel complimented us.

I gave Forrest a hug then made my way to Serena.

"Your hair looks so good with curls." I complimented her.

I followed Trevor in the booth across from them, next to Amber. I told her how beautiful she looked in her green wrap dress.

Sammy pulled out her phone before she sat down next to me. "We better take pictures now before I'm too fucked up to care."

I laughed and we took turns taking pictures with each other before overlooking the drink menu. When the waiter came over, Trevor got a rum runner and Sammy and I got a punch bowl to share.

"Have y'all ordered food yet?" I asked the table.

"Not yet. Are we waiting for everyone?" Amber asked.

I shrugged and looked through the food menu. The drinks came out and Sammy and I eyed our huge fish bowl excitedly. Sammy and I sampled the rum punch. It was dangerously smooth and I knew I needed to order food before I started drinking.

"You think that's a good idea ladies?" Ethan asked us. It hadn't escaped me that he sat at the end of the first table, adjacent to Serena at the end of our booth.

"I think it's a great idea, but are we waiting to order food?" I replied with a smile.

"We have a few more people on the way, but go ahead. It'll be better if we stagger some of the orders." Ethan answered.

"Exactly. Great minds think alike." I nodded.

"You weren't thinking about staggering orders. You were thinking about food." Trevor teased me.

"Think alike, not identically." I added, looking over the food menu.

Trevor decided on island coconut shrimp. I was still deciding between meat patties or jerk wings.

"Just get them both." Trevor laughed at me after he ordered.

"I really want the wings, but not in public." I complained.

"Why?" Forrest asked me.

"'Cause there is no cute way to eat wings." I said simply. The girls nodded in understanding while the guys disagreed.

"I think it's kinda sexy." Forrest smiled.

"Yeah, all the finger licking." Corey added on.

"And the bone sucking..." Trevor commented, winking at me.

When everyone laughed, including the waiter, I flushed. "I do not suck the bone!" I protested.

Trevor tilted his head at me. "Never?" He grinned.

"Not me." I lied.

"Pluckers... Hallelujah sauce?" Trevor continued.

A giggle escaped my lips. "Not even once. I'll take the the meat patties." I said, handing over my menu as laughter erupted again.

"Can you add an order of jerk wings for me?" Trevor asked the waiter. I laughed with everyone this time.

"There will be no sucking of any kind..." I warned him with a smile.

"Cancel that." Trevor smiled back.



After the order was placed, Rocky and Brandon returned to the table with the mystery guests. Well, not a big mystery. I already knew Mr. and Mrs. Carter were going to stop by. I was surprised to see Mama Smith and Ramon trailing them. By the look on Rocky's face, she was too.

I waved to Mr. and Mrs. Carter as I got Sammy and Corey to let me out the booth.

"Mama Smith! What a great surprise." I smiled, giving her a hug.

"Ain't I tho?" Mama Smith chuckled, hugging me back. "Child, why are you wearing leggings in the spring?" She said when she pulled back, overlooking my outfit.

"'Cause I plan on dancing. I don't want anything to show if my dress moves." I explained.

"That's why I like my skirts skin tight." She flaunted her shapely legs in the tight skirt she was wearing. Rocky sent me a desperate look.

"I see. Where do you wanna sit? I have food coming." I asked, leading her to our booth.

"By my daughter of course." Mama Smith pulled away from me.

I shrugged apologetically at Rocky. She nodded and took a deep breath as Brandon made room for two.

"I'm fine Brandon. I'll sit over here." Ramon stopped him, motioning to our booth.

"How are you doing Ramon?" I asked as we walked to the booth.

"Better now that I'm out the car with her." He said truthfully. I nodded understandably.

Everyone ordered food and ate. A few more of Rocky's co-workers joined us. I tried to stay engaged in the conversation going on at our table, but I was too busy watching out for Rocky; She was drinking to cope with her mom.

"Damn open invitation." I muttered to myself.

Ramon smiled. "She wasn't going to come, but Brandon begged her to."

"Why would he do that?" I said, bewildered. He was there at Thanksgiving...

Ramon gave me a knowing look. "You don't have a guess?"

I was stumped...

... until Brandon got up to make a toast.

"Racqelle Smith-" he started, before bending on one knee.

I never had one, but I was pretty sure that this was the closest to an out of body experience I have ever had.  I could see Brandon's mouth moving, I even heard the words, but I couldn't comprehend. I was completely out of it until I felt a sharp grip on my waist. It brought me back to reality.

"Smile Lily." Trevor said softly against my face as he turned to me.

"Huh?" I said, bewildered.

"Your best friend just got engaged. You need to smile." Trevor told me in my ear.