St. Patrick's Day

*Sorry in advance for any errors. Danielle, the awesome editor, didn't proof this one before I posted. I'm trying to get another post up tonight or tomorrow. This is a bonus thank you for my inconsistent posting. I'm also hoping to get back to real time... Wish me luck! 


"We should take a ride tonight around the town 
and look around at all the beautiful houses
something in the way that blue lights on a black night can make you feel more
everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be
just like you and me 
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine? 
And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday take that away
I'll be alright if it was just 'til St. Patrick's Day" St. Patrick's Day by John Mayer

“So your place or mine?” Trevor asked me after we dropped Jordan off at the apartment she shared with Derek.

“My place, if that’s okay with you. I need to check on Justine. We can pick her up and go to your place if you want.” I offered, trying to be extra accommodating, especially when I thought about how ridiculous I acted Saturday.

I kept thinking about how many people told me I was immature, Sammy, Jake, Rocky, even my brother. I think Ethan said it best when he said I was too much drama. Trevor didn't deserve that. He was being a good friend, just like he always has been for me. I couldn't believe the bitch fit I had. I was upset at the situation; I shouldn't have taken it out on him. I did need to grow up and apologize to Trevor.

“Your place is fine.” Trevor told me, alleviating my worries and grabbing my hand. I smiled at him nervously.

When we pulled up to my apartment, I saw that Jasmine's car was outside. I let myself into the apartment. The living room was filled with random people. Ok, maybe not random people, obviously her friends, but they were random to me.

“Hey.” Trevor said in general, waving at everyone. I just headed straight to the living room, looking for Justine or Jasmine. I walked to the kitchen and then the den. I didn't see Justine or Jasmine. I went back into the living room. One of the girls that was sitting on the couch before came inside from the patio with Jasmine. The smell of BBQ smoke drafted in from outside.

“Hey Lily! You’re back.” Jasmine greeted me.

“I am. Where’s Justine?” I asked.

“Upstairs in your room.”

My face must have showed my confusion, because she quickly said, “She kept trying to come outside and the guys are outside grilling.”

“Next time just put up the gates.” I told her, leading Trevor up the stairs.

"That's Jake's ex?" One of her friends said, obnoxiously. I ignored them and headed to my room.

 “Hey babygirl!” I cooed, kneeling to pet Justine as she jumped on me when I opened the door.

She raced to Trevor next. Trevor petted her too before she came back to me. She jumped between us, so excited.

"Looks like someone missed us.” Trevor smiled at me.

“I know. I wonder what Jasmine’s been doing to her…” I said, sitting down on my bed.

“Nothing! I took her to the park and we went for a walk and I even gave her a bath” Jasmine exclaimed passionately from the hallway.

“I’m just kidding. Thank you.” I told her with a smile.

"Kendal barbecued! Come downstairs and join us." Jasmine invited us.

"No, we're gonna get going." I told her.

"No! You just got here. Don't leave!" She pouted. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know I was having people over. I wasn't sure when you were coming back-"

"It's fine, Jasmine. Trevor and I are just going to hang at his place tonight." I reassured her.

"Well eat first or at least take it to go. There's plenty of food." Jasmine said before going back downstairs.

Trevor cocked an eyebrow at me. "Do you wanna stay?"

"Do you?" I replied.

"I'm kinda hungry."

"Do you wanna eat here though?"

"What do you want?" He asked me.

I took a deep breath. "I just really want to talk to you."

He came over and sat on the bed next to me. "Ok, talk."

"I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday." I said, quickly. I hated admitting when I was wrong, but I was, so I got that out the way first. "I was just hurt that Rocky kept that from me." I told him.

"I know, but that has nothing to do with you. It has to do with Rocky." Trevor pointed out.

"I understand that now. It just hurt even more when you called me negative, like it was my fault she didn't tell me." I lamented.

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry." Trevor apologized.

"I know that it's true. Negative or petty or whatever, that's just how I am. I told you that before we got together. I'm working on it." I admitted.

"Lily, I don't think you're negative or petty. It's just,...hard for me to talk to you when I know you're not going to like what I have to say. I don't want to argue with you." Trevor said.

"Sometimes your assumptions about my reactions aren't always right. Like with the whole Becca thing. I was mad because you didn't tell me. You assumed I was going to be mad if you went. Why can't you give me the benefit of the doubt?" I asked.

"I will start doing that if you promise to start talking to me. I don't yell and curse because I don't want to be like my dad. For you, it's either ignore it or blow up. I don't want either one of them Lily. I want to be able to talk to you, even when you're upset or we disagree."

I nodded slowly, a little stunned by his confession. It never occurred to me how I came off to him when I was mad. I always felt so justified in my own feelings, I never thought about his. He spent his childhood listening to his father yell, curse and put him down. How could I do that no matter how upset I was?

I blinked back my tears. "I'm sorry." I said again, solemnly.

"I am too." Trevor said, holding my hand. I looked at his hand, appreciative to have him, but deeply ashamed of my actions. I went from one extreme to the other: having my world revolve around other's feelings to being completely self centered. How did I find middle ground?

"C'mon. Let's go eat." Trevor said, pulling me up. I forced a smile before following him downstairs.

We joined everyone but sat at the empty dining room table.

"How was South by Southwest?" Kendal asked us as Trevor and I dug in.

I blushed. Even though they weren't around to witness it, I was even more embarrassed by my horrible behavior after Trevor told me how he felt.

"It was fun. It's always a good time." Trevor answered, while I stared at my food. "It was your first time Lily. What did you think?" Trevor asked me.

I looked up at him and flashed him a little smile. "Way different than I imagined."

"How so?" Malik asked.

"It's huge, like miles and miles and miles. I don't know why I was thinking it was like a Woodstock, but it was actually a lot more than concerts." I answered.

"What all did you do?" Jasmine asked.

"We did a technology panel and an art gallery together. I went to a gaming convention, Trevor saw a film screening-"

"Fast and Furious?" Kendal asked. I loomed at Trevor curiously. I had no idea what they saw. I didn't even ask.

"No, I heard there was a secret midnight screening. I saw some horror film." Trevor answered.

"Did y'all like it?" Jasmine asked.

"It was ok." Trevor shrugged.

"Did you like it Lily?" Jake asked me.

"I didn't see it. I went to a concert." I answered.

"You wouldn't have liked it. It was a lot of gore and "AH!" scary moments." Trevor smiled at me, before he stopped. "Or maybe you would have." He finished, plainly.

I forced another smile. "I wouldn't have. Remember when you made me watch The Ring and I couldn't watch TV for a week?" I reminded him. Trevor grinned at me.

"That was bad. You didn't even have a TV in your room and you slept with the lights on."

"You thought The Ring was bad? Don't ever see Paranormal Activity." Kendal laughed.

That led to a discussion about the scariest movie and the funniest, not so scary movies. At the end of the night, everyone filed out pretty early, including Trevor.

"I gotta make sure I have work clothes, but I'll see you tomorrow?" Trevor asked. I nodded and gave him a kiss goodbye.



Monday, I went to work, trying to get over the guilt I felt for my recent actions. I didn't even reach out to Rocky because I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell her that I knew. She didn't want me to know. And while I was trying to be a more mature person, I wasn't there yet. I didn't know how to shake it off and act normal.

I did a decent job at pretending. I chatted with Jordan and Kendal at work, made plans to meet up with Amber on St. Patrick's Day with some of her co-workers, I even made dinner for Trevor at his apartment Monday night. He only caught me once thinking to myself about our future together. I played it off like I was planning for our upcoming trip to Japan.

I talked him into letting me buy him something new. I told him I was thinking about what he should wear to his business meeting but in reality I was thinking about my problems.

"What's wrong with my button downs?" Trevor asked.

"There's nothing wrong with them. They're just... numerous. Besides, you need something more dressy." I told him.

"Fine. Pick out something that matches you." He agreed.

"Why? I'm not going to your meeting." I frowned.

"Yeah, but you're coming home with me for Easter. If you don't wanna see another button down, find something for that too." Trevor told me with a grin.



That's how I found myself in the men's section at H&M on Tuesday. I was totally clueless what would be appropriate for Easter Sunday and a business meeting in Japan. I knew Trevor would wear whatever I got him, but he was so causal, I didn't want him to be uncomfortable. I was lost.

Thankfully, Forrest was on Spring Break from his school and apparently had nothing better to do than hang out and shop with me.

"Hey, I tried to help. Rachel gave me my tasks. I'm done until May." Forrest joked, giving me a hug when I pointed out that he should be spending his Spring Break working on the wedding.

"Well, you can help me shop then!" I exclaimed.

I told him what Trevor told me about Easter and we started searching. He held up nice blue blazer.

"With what?" I asked, looking it over.

"Jeans for causal, matching blue slacks for a suit. You can put this over a t-shirt and it'll look good. It's called multipurpose." Forrest explained.

"Oooo, so you do have some style. Here I was thinking Rachel dressed you." I joked.

"I was rocking fitted jeans and Polo's when everyone else was sagging and wearing Jerseys." Forrest informed me.

"Kudos to you. I hate sagging pants. I swear the amount of underwear I have to see is ridiculous." I complimented him.

"I don't know what's worse: that, or male skinny jeans." He shuddered.

"Doesn't that hurt?" I giggled.

"I wouldn't know. I can't do it."

I held up a pair of extra slim navy skinny pants. "I think Trevor can pull this off."

"Sure, you wouldn't have to worry about birth control anymore." Forrest joked.

I winced. "Maybe I should buy them. I can guarantee Trevor doesn't want kids with me anytime soon."

"Uh-Oh, what's going on?" Forrest asked.

"Nothing." I said picking out a pair of navy slacks in Trevor's size. I took them to the front to pay for the items. After I checked out, I treated Forrest to lunch. Since it was St. Patrick's Day, I took him to Bennigans.

A pretty waitress came and took our order. We ordered Housemade Cottage Pie, Beer-Battered Fish & Chips and a tower of onion rings to share. Forrest order a Guinness as well. I didn't like dark beer, so I stuck with water. We ate and I talked about random things to get my mind off putting myself down.

"You serve ice cream on the brownie for dessert right?" Forrest asked.

"Yes sir, we do." The waitress answered in a friendly tone.

"Can I just get one scoop in a glass?" Forrest asked.

"Normally we don't do that, but I can do that for you." She winked.

Forrest smiled at her. "Thank you. And one more beer."

The waitress came back quickly with his beer and ice cream. I was equal parts of disgusted and intrigued when he poured the beer over the ice cream.

"This is all yours, if you tell me what's going on with you and Trevor." Forrest bargained.

"I will tell you, not because you bribed me, but because I respect your opinion." I said, grabbing the beer float from him.

As I enjoyed the mixture of bitter cold beer and the creamy sweet ice-cream, I told Forrest about my behavior. Not what led up to the argument, just my reaction to being upset and wrong. I told him that's how I normally act when I feel mad or treated wrong. I flip out or hold it all in.

"I realize how immature that is. My brother told me to stop acting childish, but I don't know how. I feel like I need to put myself on a time out until I do. I don't even know why Trevor wants to be with me. I should break up with him before he hates me. I don't want to lose his friendship. At least we made it to St. Patrick's Day." I explained, sardonically.

"You're right. Y'all should break up." Forrest said, matter of factly.

I couldn't even formulate a response. My mouth just dropped open.

"Can I just say, the next guy you date needs to be outside your circle of friends."

"What?!?" I finally gasped, not believing that was his advice.

He grabbed the salt shaker. "This is you." He grabbed a bunch of sugar packets and scattered them in a circle around the salt. "These are your friends." Finally, he grabbed the pepper and sat it way across the table from the salt and circle of sugar. "This is the next guy you date. Way out the circle."

"I don't want to date another guy. I love Trevor!" I protested.

"Exactly. What makes you think he feels any differently? He loves you: that means he accepts everything about you." Forrest said, putting back the sugar.

"Whatever." I mumbled. "Anymore stupid demonstrations?"

"Sure." Forrest said, laying the pepper down on the table. He held the salt in one hand with a knife like it was standing over the pepper. "Assault with a deadly weapon. Get it? A-salt-with-a-deadly-weapon." He said, slowly.

The waitress bringing our check over burst out laughing. Forrest laughed too. "She got it.

"She's also trying to get a tip!" I blurted. The waitress laughed at that too.

"You two are such a cute couple." She chuckled.

I shook my head. "No, he's engaged and I'm actually taking advice from him." I groaned.

The smile never left her face. "Good luck with that. Happy St. Patrick's Day."

We split the bill and left her a huge tip.

"I'm serious though. I have a book I want you to read. I teach it to my health class." Forrest said as he walked me to my car.

"I'm good with the body stuff. Kinesiology major, doctorate in physical therapy." I listed.

"Mental health is a part of that." He said.

"I'm not into therapy or self help books." I complained.

"This guy Covey compiled a list of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He has one for teenagers too, that's the one I teach. I learned a lot from reading both. It talks about being proactive versus reactive, seeking to understand then to be understood and physical and mental renewal. If you take something from it, great, if not, it's still an interesting read." Forrest said.

"Alright. I do have a long ass plane ride to Japan. I'll take a look at it." I relented.

"Good. You know, I knew from the first time I met Trevor he had feeling from you." Forrest added.

"Yeah?" I smiled.

"Yeah. He sized me up in a way that wasn't just looking out for a friend. You don't need a time out; you need to stop questioning his feelings and work on yourself. He should support you just like you should support him." Forrest suggested.

 "Alright, alright. I will." I promised.



I decided to start that night. I cancelled on Amber, but promised we would get together when I got back from Japan. I picked up Justine from my place and went to Trevor's apartment. I put on a dark green thong and a black nightie and waited for him to come home. As soon as he walked through the door, I pounced on him, throwing myself in his arm.

"Lily-" He said, before I pressed my lips to his. I kissed him deeply and hungrily. Trevor eagerly returned my kiss when he got over his surprise.

"You're taking the whole "Kiss me, I'm Irish" thing to heart?" Trevor panted slightly.

"I love you. I wanna make it past St. Patrick's Day." I breathed against his mouth.

"6 more hours to go..." Trevor grinned.

"No... I meant in general. I wanna be with you. Past St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, New Years and Valentine's over and over again. I'm in love with you Trevor. I realize I need to do some work on myself, but I'm gonna do it. I promise. I just need you by my side." I poured out my heart to him.

"I'm in love with you too Lily. I knew when you moved to California you were it for me. I'm not going anywhere. I wanna work together with you. On Christmas,.." he trailed of, leading me to the bedroom. "and New Year's..." he said as he laid me down on the bed. "Valentine's..." he listed, as he pulled off his clothes. "And St. Patrick's Day." He said joining me on the bed.

"Speaking of, where's your green?" He looked my body over intensely, his blue eyes a darkened hue. "I owe you a pinch." He murmured, rubbing his fingertips over my hardened nipples.

"No... You just haven't found my green yet." I moaned, looking into his eyes. He gave me a little grin as he lifted my dress from thighs.

"Found it..." he said, teasing my clitoris over my green thong.

"Luck of the Irish." I gasped, as I pulled him on top of me.