(We should see) Trapped in a state of imaginary grace
(We should know better) I made a pilgrimage to save this human's race
(We should see) Never comprehending a race that's long gone by
(Let's stop the world) I'll stop the world and melt with you
(Let's stop the world) You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time
And there's nothing you and I won't do
(Let's stop the world) I'll stop the world and melt with you
The future's open wide" I Melt With You by Modern English
The Sunday after we went out, Jasmine didn't come home. The ice and snow were melting away so it was no excuse. I wondered if she relapsed with Reggie.
Trevor made plans to hang out with Corey and play video games. After I teased him mercilessly about his date, we went our separate ways. I spent majority of my Sunday at my brother's apartment because he and Jenna finally had save the dates. April 18th!
I immediately booked tickets for Trevor and me for that weekend. I offered to get more time off. I still had a week of vacation time left, but Jenna assured me her family had everything under control. She told me the rehearsal dinner was Friday, the wedding was on a Saturday, and there would be a family only brunch Sunday morning before everyone went home.
"No bachelor/bachelorette parties?" I grinned at them.
"His is after the rehearsal dinner." Jenna said.
Cam shrugged nonchalantly. "My friends are making me."
"I'm sure they had to put a gun to your head." I rolled my eyes while Jenna laughed. "Did your friends plan anything?"
"I couldn't ask my friends to plan something. Most of them are traveling for the wedding and buying their bridesmaid's dresses too. Besides, I wanna spend time with my mom before we move to California. That will not include alcohol and penis cakes."
"So let's do something out here! I will plan it." I suggested.
"There's literally no time. I'm gonna be in Missouri two weeks before the wedding. The dress fittings are the weeks before that. You and Trevor are gonna be in Japan..." Jenna protested.
"That's not until the 19th. Do you have anything planned 2 weeks from now?" I asked.
Jenna frowned. "I don't think so..."
"Then it's done. All I need from you is a guest list. I'll take care of the rest." I told her.
"Lily, I really don't need-" Jenna started.
"Yes you do! It'll be low key, but fun. I can't help with the wedding, let me do this." I pleaded.
"Fine, but nothing too crazy." Jenna relented.
"What are you talking 'bout? You know how classy I am." I said.
Cam snorted and Jenna shook her head.
"I am. Now how many girls are we having so I can get the guests to stripper ratio right?" I joked.
When I got home Sunday evening, Jasmine still was not home. I had a missed call from Ethan. I hadn't answered my phone when I was with my brother, just Trevor's few text. I called Ethan back as I made a baked potato for dinner.
"I was concerned about what's going on with your job." Ethan said.
"It's nothing. It's all squared away." I said, not wanting his concern. Or feelings. Or whatever else Rocky was talking about.
"What happened?" Ethan asked.
"Just a rumor. It got cleared up. Everything's great. No need to worry." I answered quickly.
There was a moment of silence. "Ethan?" I asked, to make sure he was still on the line.
"I'm here. Is there something you're not telling me?" Ethan asked.
"Nope. Nothing to tell." I said plainly.
More silence.
"Ethan..."
"Does Trevor not want us talking?" Ethan asked.
"What? No. He's not like that at all. Where did that come from?" I asked.
"You've been distant. Last night, you wouldn't make eye contact with me."
Dammit. I thought I played it cool.
I sighed. "It's not Trevor. Rocky said you have... lingering feelings for me. I just don't know how to be friends with you."
I heard Ethan take a deep breath. "This is why I don't talk to people." He muttered.
"The problem is when you don't talk to me about me." I countered.
"We had this conversation before." Ethan complained.
"One more time then."
"I told Rocky I'll always have some type of feelings for you. That doesn't mean I want to be with you." Ethan explained.
"Tell me how you really feel." I said, sarcastically.
"Let me finish. You were the first woman I had feelings for after Megan. It showed me what type of relationship I wanted.'
"What's that?" I asked.
"One based off feelings, not just sex or obligation. If I have any lingering feelings, it's because you're proof that I can have that; even though you rejected me." He clarified.
"I didn't really reject you- I mean, I did; but it was all me, not you." I argued.
"Whatever the reason, I'm glad you did. I told you before, I appreciate you as a friend."
"I appreciate you too." I smiled.
"Now will you tell me what happened?" Ethan repeated his question.
I did. Afterwards, I could feel him thinking through the phone.
"Lily, that's a serious accusation. Doesn't your license have an ethical code?" Ethan finally asked.
"Of course it does, but with no complaint or evidence, it's just a rumor. Not even that now that she took the post down."
"You can't un-ring a bell. You have no idea who saw it." Ethan debated me. "The best thing you can do is get in front of this. I think you should hire legal representation and go from there." Ethan suggested.
"I don't think it's that serious." I disagreed.
"Maybe not now. What happens if the girl decides to lie again?" Ethan asked.
I frowned. I worried about that too...
"I know a lawyer. I'll reach out and see what he thinks." Ethan offered.
"Ok." I agreed. "So what do you think about Serena?"
"Nice subject change." He said.
I laughed. "I've been dying to ask you."
"I don't know much about her but I wouldn't mind getting to know her."
"Biblical?" I teased.
"Bye Lily." Ethan cut off my giggles.
"No, wait. In all seriousness, she just ended a thing with a guy because he didn't want a relationship. You need to be very clear about your intentions."
"Once I figure them out, I will." He said.
"Figure them out quick. She's a great person and she likes you. If you take too long she won't give you a chance. She's already on the fence because you have a kid."
"That's not going to change-"
"I know, that's why you are going to have to pursue her and open up. No Mr. Roboto. Let her get to know you. Then she'll have no choice but to give it a shot."
"I'll keep that in mind if you consider speaking to a lawyer." Ethan said.
"Done. Domo arigato,"
"Japanese?" Ethan questioned.
"Oh yeah. I'm practicing for my trip."
"Good luck with that."
"Sayōnara Ethan."
"Bye Lily."
Monday morning, I saw Jasmine's car parked outside when I went to work. I knew she had to have made it home sometime during the night. After my first appointment at work, Sandra called me into her office.
I didn't have much time to freak out about it, but I was freaked out. What Ethan said kept running through my mind. I was sweating bullets thinking about Lauren's accusation. I was terrified that somehow Sandra found out.
"Coach Green will no longer be rehabbing with us." Sandra started.
I gulped, fear gripping my core. I couldn't help but wonder if he somehow heard the rumors. It wouldn't take much to put two and two together and assume it was me like Forrest did. Maybe that was why he left.
"Why?" I asked simply.
"He decided he doesn't need a therapist anymore." She said plainly.
"Is it ok if I follow up with him?" I asked quickly.
Sandra narrowed her eyes at me. "Why?"
"Just to tell him the rest of his rehab plan." I added, nervously.
"I already told him." She said, watching me closely. I felt like she was sizing me up for some reason...
Oh shit.
"Ok,.. there wasn't any problem, was there?" I finally squeaked out. If she had something to say, she needed to say it.
Sandra shook her head. "Don't take it personally Lily. With all the bad weather, he just thinks he can rehab himself now that his collarbone is healed."
I exhaled the deep breath I didn't realize I was holding. "Ok... Anything else?"
"That's all. Also, you won't be getting any new patients until you come back from vacation. Ann sent me your approval this morning." Sandra dismissed me with a smile.
I smiled, relieved. "Sounds great. Thank you Sandra."
I ate lunch with Jordan and I told her about my time off being approved. I also picked her brain for ideas for Jenna's bachelorette party. Jenna hated clubs and bars and didn't drink. I wanted to do something fun but not out of her comfort zone.
"You should do more of a bridal shower!" Jordan said, excitedly.
"That sounds so lame..." I moaned.
"It doesn't have to be, but it sounds like your sister-in-law wants tame, not lame. Besides, if you find a private location, a classy male entertainer can show up..." Jordan grinned.
"I love the way you think Jordan!" I smiled at her.
When I got home, I immediately got my laptop and started researching venues I could host the bachelorette party at. Jenna sent me a list of 12 girls, but I reached out to her sisters who were going to try to make it, so that made 15. I needed a venue first, then I could plan activities.
Trevor came over after he got off work and sat on the couch with me. He was absolutely no help. He was one more male stripper joke away from me throwing my laptop at him when Jasmine came home.
"Hey!!!" I exclaimed when she came in. "Long time no see. I think someone had a little too much fun this weekend."
"I did, but not what you're thinking." Jasmine said sitting on the couch. "Well, maybe a little of what you're thinking."
"Tell me what you think I'm thinking." I smiled.
"I think there's too much thinking going on." Trevor commented, his blues eyes sparking with mischief.
"You would. We all know there's not much thinking going on up there." I leaned over to rub his head.
"Haha very funny." Trevor smiled.
"I work with what you give me." I said against his lips as I leaned over to kiss him.
"I'll give you something to work on-" Trevor started.
"Alright, you two are part of the problem!" Jasmine interrupted us.
Trevor laughed and I blushed, pulling away from him. "I'm sorry. What happened? And how are we part of the problem?"
"You two being all perfect makes me lonely. Everyone was coupled up, that's why I didn't want to eat with you guys. I hung out with Reggie when the roller rink closed." Jasmine confessed.
"For the rest of the weekend?" I asked.
"No, I left his place Sunday morning. I stayed with a friend who told me how stupid it was." Jasmine said.
"Do you agree?"
She nodded. "It was a mistake. Nothing changed between us. I still need to move on."
I nodded. "At least you know it's just loneliness and not anything else. Don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone slips up."
"I know, but now he won't stop calling. When we first broke up, he didn't call once. Now it's too late." Jasmine said, standing up.
"Stay strong Jasmine!"
She smiled. "I will. Be right back. I need to shower. I feel like I have hair all over me."
"Everybody slips up huh?" Trevor asked me when Jasmine left.
"Apparently; sometimes, it's the best way to say goodbye." I said cheekily.
"Maybe we should go upstairs and say hello in a way that makes you never want to say goodbye..." Trevor wiggled his eyebrows at me.
"Ok, I got lost on that one..."
"Hey, I work with what you give me." Trevor smiled
"So let's go upstairs, say hello by giving each other something to work with?"
"Can we just have sex?" Trevor laughed.
I laughed. "Fine, if you wanna be crass about it!"
Tuesday morning, I spent my morning off, trying to find the right location for Jenna's party. I had to book it so I could know the date and time.
With the weather, I really didn't want to risk doing something outside. The snow finally melted away, but I didn't trust the crazy Texas weather. It was looking like the best option was a hotel room. I didn't love the idea; it seemed completely impersonal and last minute which I guess it was, but I didn't want it to feel that way!
Then inspiration struck. I just needed Rocky's permission...
I text her about having lunch with me. When she agreed, I told her I would meet her at her Panini place by her job. I arrived early and ordered her favorite panini and lemonade. Her food was waiting for her when she showed up.
"Hey Rocky! You look amazing!" I complimented her navy pencil skirt, silk blouse and cute booties.
"Thank you. You ordered for me?" She asked sitting down.
"I did. I didn't know what time you had to be back."
"I don't have any meetings soon. They'll call if they need me. Thank you though."
We sat down and made small talk. Of course that included my rush to find a perfect spot for Jenna's party.
"I wish I could just have it at my place, but with Jasmine and Justine, it's really just too small." I sighed, dramatically.
Rocky swallowed the food she was chewing and wiped her mouth. She then just looked at me. "Do you have something to ask me?" She said, tilting her head to the side after a moment.
"No... why do you ask?" I feigned ignorance, playing unaware.
"No reason." She said, going back to her panini.
"Rocky! You know I wanna use your place!!!" I exclaimed.
"How would I know that? You didn't ask!" She said, innocently with a smirk on her face.
"Rocky, can I borrow your house? The money I would have spent on the venue I'll spend on you and Brandon to get a hotel room. And of course I'll handle all the cleaning before and after-"
Rocky smiled. "You know you can Lily. It'll be my pleasure to help out."
"Thank you! I appreciate it."
"Next time, stop trying to be slick about it. You can't pull it off. I knew something was up the second you bought my food and didn't start eating." Rocky told me.
I laughed and we caught up with each other. She told me her job and Brandon were good. I told her Trevor was great and filled her in on my work drama.
"Ethan thinks I should get a lawyer-What?" I stopped, when she glared at me.
"You'll use any excuse to reach out to him huh?" Rocky snapped at me.
"He reached out to me." I said, placing my napkin down.
Rocky muttered something under her breath.
"What?"
"You don't think it's inappropriate? I told you how he felt about you." Rocky continued.
"He doesn't have feelings for me like that. You misunderstood him." I argued.
"Even if I did, why risk it? Is it worth your relationship?"
"How is my relationship at risk?" I said, confused.
Rocky opened her mouth to speak, but stopped. She then started again. "How did you feel when Trevor was hanging with Becca? You're being a hypocrite."
"No I am not. He went behind my back and did that. I wouldn't have told him he can't hang with her."
"You are playing with fire."
"I'm not. I have nothing but platonic feelings for Ethan. If I believed he felt another way I would stop talking to him, but he doesn't."
"And you know that cause you talked to him even after I told you to leave him alone! What does that say about your feelings?!?" She hissed at me.
"It says you don't tell me who I can and can't talk to." I snapped back completely shocked by her attitude and argument.
"I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm saying don't put yourself in that situation" She declared.
"In a situation to do what? Cheat? I would never do that to Trevor!" I said, frustrated by her lack of understanding of where I was coming from.
"Because you're just so damn perfect? You walk on water so you'll never make a mistake?!?" She yelled at me. In public. A few people turned to look at us. My face was burning up in embarrassment.
"What's wrong with you?" I hissed, stunned by her behavior.
She held her head up high. "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm trying to help you, but do what you want." She gathered her bag. "I gotta get back. Thanks for lunch." She said, calmly before stalking away.
I got up and left after her. I didn't chase after her. I let her stew, but I wasn't letting this go. Something was wrong with her. I added figuring out what the fuck was going on with her to my list of things I needed to do in the near future.
I bet Rocky is being bitchy cus she feels guilty. She cheated and its eating her up inside.. taking it out on others. Especially from that POV post from her.. she def was acting like she cheated. Ohh cant wait til that hits the fan lol
ReplyDeleteOh boy! We've been anticipating this for a while now, Rocky keeps holding it in. She's trying so hard to compare something she did with the lily and Ethan situation. They can be platonic and doesn't have to be playing with fire, rocky just is in her own all about her world right now and will be until the truth comes out. Love love loving lily and trevor!
ReplyDeleteRocky is soooooo having a guilty conscience. Trying to teach Lily from her mistakes. Though, I feel like Lily and Ethan are somewhat different than Rocky and Bilal because Lily and Ethan had quite a bit of closure in the recent months and from what I remember, Rocky and Bilal didn't really get that closure. Rocky needs to chill and not take all of her crap out on Lily, whether she has "good intentions" or not. lol
ReplyDelete