You Make Me Sick

"You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip, I'm feelin it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin me crazy baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it
You got me goin again
Baby, you got me goin again
You make me sick" You Make Me Sick by Pink

The remainder of my trip to California was uneventful. Before I left Sunday afternoon, I stopped by Patty's house as promised to say bye.

This time I wasn't as nervous when checking Justine in. While we waited for the plane, I uploaded pictures of my trip on Facebook and Instagram. I went through my news feed on Facebook too. I saw that Alexis tagged Jake in pictures from this weekend. I felt a mixture of things looking at the pictures.

At first, I was a little pissed. Part of me felt like he was 'dating' her because I asked him not to. They didn't start hanging out until I drunk dialed him. At least, that's what I thought. I mean, would he be saying he wanted to take me on a trip while fucking her? I doubt it.

When I thought about drunk dialing Jake, I felt so guilty. I apologized, but he hadn't forgiven me. Then I would just feel sad.

By the time the plane arrived, I worked through my emotions and felt relativity neutral about it. This was how break ups work: You actually break up. No arguing, no back and forth dramatics, no lingering feelings. You are supposed to move on. He was. I couldn't be upset about it. I wasn't happy about it either. I had to move on too. I was.

On the plane ride, I was able to get some sleep. As soon as the plane touched down, I called Trevor. It sounded like he was sleeping and I woke him up. When I told him we landed, he said he was on his way. I told him to hurry up, jokingly. Although I wasn't really joking; I was anxious to get home, but more so to see him!

When we got off the plane, I got Justine while Cam and Jenna waited. After getting her, we walked to the terminal Trevor dropped us at off. We waited 5 minutes before I saw him walk in.

He looked exhausted. He definitely just woke up. He was paler than normal, but his eyes, nose and cheeks had a reddish tint. He was bundled up in a leather jacket and a blue beanie cap. When he saw us, a smile brightened his face. I smiled too, blushing. He was so cute, even when he looked worn out. I couldn't stop the heat from rushing to my face.

What the fuck is wrong with me? It's the same Trevor. 

"Hey guys." He said hoarsely when we approached each other. I hesitated, I wasn't sure what I should do. Kiss? On the cheek? Lips? Hug? Fist pound? High five? Fuck, I was over thinking things again. I dropped my bags to hug him as usual. He was freezing, but I held him tight anyway.

"You look awful." My brother greeted him when I pulled away.

Trevor cleared his throat and swallowed. “Nice to see you too." He said, picking up the kennel while keeping an arm around me.

"He meant are you ok? You look like you're not feeling well." Jenna added.

"The crazy weather is messing with my allergies. Nothing a little sleep won't cure." Trevor replied.

"Best idea I've heard all day: Sleep." Cam said before we headed for the car.

Trevor was right about the weather. When we left for California, the weather was nice and in the 60s in Dallas. Now it was much colder. We walked quickly to Trevor's car.

"Sorry, no heat." Trevor apologized, sniffling. "I thought I would have more time to get it checked out."

"Right... it's only the middle of winter." Cam criticized.

"Shut up Cam!" I said.

"What? I can't joke now that y'all are dating? You're going be all defensive of your man?" Cam laughed.

"Ohmygod, when are you moving to California?" I asked.

Trevor laughed, but his laughter turned into a coughing fit. I watched him, concerned.

"You wouldn't know what to do without me." Cam commented.

"Party!!!" I replied.

Trevor dropped Cam and Jenna off first.
"Alright, feel better Trevor. Get some rest." Cam said, patting Trevor on the back. I got out of the car to move to the passenger seat my brother just got vacated. I was giving Jenna a hug when Cam turned to me.

"No sharing germs." Cam instructed at me.

"Fuck off Cam." I snapped at him.

"Yeah, allergies aren’t contagious." Trevor grinned.

I blushed, again.

"See y'all later." Cam waved.

I quickly got in the car. Trevor grabbed my hand as he backed out and we drove to my apartment. His hand was so warm and gripped mine perfectly. I wondered if my touch felt as good to him...

...then I realized how creepy that sounded in my head and forced it out my thoughts. I wondered instead how his touch would feel everywhere else...

Get a grip, Lily!

"Everything ok?" He asked me.

I snapped out of it and nodded. "I'm fine."

"You're so quiet." He said.

I didn't want my behavior to seem weird; my thoughts were weird enough. I chatted about my time in California. I told him about the conversations I had with my great aunt Andrea and my cousin Benjamin.

"He's a skip chaser, so he wants to track down my mom. I'm not sure why." I explained.

"I thought that's what you wanted too." Trevor commented.

"I did until I found out it wasn't a normal adoption. My dad thought I was his. My mom knew there was a chance he wasn't my dad, and she still pawned me off on him. I don't want anything to do with her." I explained.

Trevor cleared his throat before starting again. "You should talk to her."

"Actions speak louder than words." I said.

 "Besides, she never once tried to reach out to me."

"Maybe she's waiting on you. You said your dad didn't want her in your life."

"I've been an adult for how long? That's not an excuse."

"The adult thing is debatable. Is this in age? Or actions?"

"Shut up Trevor!" I smiled.

He chuckled. "But seriously, your aunt made it seem like there was more to the story. You should hear her side of it."

"No thanks." I said.

"You’re being unreasonable-." Trevor started, before he sneezed.

"Bless you. There's nothing to reason about. Pull into the CVS."

"What do you need?" He asked as he did what I said, pulling into a parking space.

"You need allergy medicine and tea." I said, getting out the car.

We got Benadryl and sleepy time chamomile tea. At the checkout, Trevor grabbed a chocolate bar and gummy bears.
We got home and I sent Trevor to my room before I gave Justine her food and water. I ignored the gifts from my friends that I hadn't opened and made Trevor tea. He liked his tea and coffee sweet and since honey was a cough suppressant, I gave him extra.

I delivered it to him, with a Benadryl and told him to rest.

"Only for a few hours. I need to get back to Austin." Trevor compromised.

"Ok."

"Come lay with me?" He grinned.

 I smiled. "Be right back."

I started a shower while debating on what I should wear to bed. I knew we weren't going to be doing anything, but I still questioned what I should wear to bed with him now. I eyed the pink boyshorts and cami set Jake bought me. It was the perfect combination of comfort and sexy, but I felt weird wearing it now. Especially for Trevor.

I grabbed the pair of boxers Trevor let me borrow at our birthday party and a tank before hopping in the shower. I cleaned up quickly before drying off. I slathered on orange ginger scented lotion before putting on my clothes.

All that debating was for nothing. Trevor was already falling asleep, turned facing Justine. It made my heart melt. I slipped under the covers with Trevor. I wrapped my arms around him to spoon him. He woke up momentarily and turned to face me. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"You smell so good… sweet and spicy... perfect." He mumbled.

I gulped. "Sounds delicious." I joked.

"I bet you are." He murmured, burrowing his head into my neck.

I stroked his hair, as he fell back asleep, trying to tamper the growing desire inside of me. When I got my hormones under control, I fell asleep too.

I woke up at 5am because we went to bed so early and my stomach was growling. When I got up, Justine got up too. I grabbed the neglected gummy bears from the night stand and went downstairs. I snacked on them as I made breakfast. I needed to go grocery shopping, but I had pancake mix and bacon. I cut up some fruit to go with it and sat down to eat. I was hoping Trevor would wake up early too, but he must have been really exhausted. After I finished eating, I made him a plate, cleaned the kitchen, and went to open my presents.

I got work out gear (Jordan), a Soda Stream (Lamar and Patrick), San Francisco 49ers swag, including a rude note saying: better luck next year (Forrest and Rachel), a glittery hat, gloves and scarf set (Amber) a huge container of flavored popcorn (Corey), Jennifer Lopez's black knee high boots (Sammy) and blue Nike running shoes inside of a matching athletic bag (Rocky and Brandon).

I put on the new athletic clothes and shoes and went for a run with Justine. When I came back, I took a hot shower and got dressed for work.

Trevor was still sleeping soundly. I hated to wake him up, but he said he had to be in Austin. He only wanted to sleep a few hours. I let him sleep in already and his phone was beeping with missed calls or texts.

"Trevor..." I woke him, shaking gently on his shoulder.

It took a while for him to wake, but when he did, he looked a lot better.

"It's 8. I'm about to go to work-“

“Geez, I slept all night?” He said, rubbing his eyes and sitting up.

“Yeah, apparently you needed it. You didn’t need to be on the road exhausted.” I nodded.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t planning on just sleeping if I was going to spend the night with you…” Trevor smiled.

 “What were you planning?”

“Sharing germs.”

I laughed. “Yeah, because your sick face is so sexy..”



Trevor got up and cleaned before we left. He was on his phone the whole time while I finished getting ready to go to work and he ate breakfast.

“Put the phone away while you are driving.” I said, giving him a hug as we headed to our cars.

“Yes ma’am.” He smiled, as he got in the car.

With one last wave, we headed in separate directions.

Monday at work was slow. 2 of my patients called and cancelled for the week. It wasn't shocking considering the holidays. I just hoped they did what they could at home and weren't being completely lazy and undoing all the work we've done. Or doing too much and get reinjured.

Rocky called me to let me know she was in the area if I was having lunch soon. Since I didn't have any patients till later, I agreed. None of the doctors scheduled surgeries before the New Year, so Jordan didn't have much to do either. We took an extra long lunch together and met Rocky at Twisted Root.

"I'm so sick of Turkey! I just want red meat!" Rocky exclaimed, biting into her Big Tex burger enthusiastically. It was topped with cheddar, fried onions, guacamole and chipotle sauce.

"I hear you. I'm sick of BBQ!" Jordan agreed. She got the Kevin Bacon; Bacon and blue cheese.

I munched happily on The Verde. The green chilies, guacamole and pepper jack cheese was a delicious combination.

"Learn how to cook and you wouldn't need to order out every holiday." I teased her.

"I have to hear it from Derek's mom. I have no problem telling you to shut up." Jordan threatened.

I laughed. "How was your Christmas?" I asked her.

"Great. Derek got me a foot bath massager, because I always complain about my feet hurting." She said in a lackluster tone.

"That's thoughtful." I smiled.

"Whatever. I'd rather got a foot rub and an engagement ring at the end of it."

I laughed at her.

"At least it's a gift for you and it's useful! Brandon got me a gift card for Victoria's Secret. We all know that's for him" Rocky stated. "That's why I'm buying a bunch of pajamas."

Jordan and I both laughed at Rocky's plans.

I cleared my throat and held out my wrist. "Trevor gave me this..." I said admiring the charm bracelet. It hadn't come off since Trevor put it on my wrist.

Rocky grabbed my wrist with a wry smile on her face. "You sound like we're in college all over again. 'Trevor gave me this!'" She mocked me, studying my jewelry. "It's beautiful."

"What does it mean?" Jordan said, curiously.

"It means that he loves me, however I want him to." I explained. "We're thinking about being in a relationship."

"Really?" Jordan questioned. "I don't get that vibe between you two."

Rocky looked at her like she was crazy. "She's had feelings for him, he's had feelings for her. Finally, they have them at the same time."

"Maybe... I just don't see it like it was with Jake. There was just... fire between them." Jordan explained.

"Right. Destructive." Rocky scoffed.

"We're just seeing how thing go. Don't start making team t-shirts. Besides, Jake is starting fire with someone else." I said, calmly. Inside, just the thought of him having a little of what we had with her made my stomach churn.

Jordan blanched and Rocky looked at me, sympathetically.

"I was wondering if you saw that; she was posting pictures like they're actually together. Classic T.H.O.T behavior." Rocky shook her head.

I smiled.

"What's a THOT?" Jordan asked.

"That hoe over there." Rocky defined.

Jordan busted out laughing and it made me laugh too.

"Brandon already confirmed that's all she is to him." Rocky informed me.

"It's whatever. I'm glad he is moving on." I said.

Jordan grinned at me. "Why does it look like you wanna throw up then?"

"Thinking about Derek rubbing your feet." I said, making a face. Jordan threw a French fry at me.

"So what's up with New Years? I kinda wanna do something this year, besides clubbing." Rocky asked.

"Derek and I always do NYE in Big D outside the American Airlines Center. The dart drops you off right there. Live music and fireworks." Jordan suggested.

"That sounds fun." I nodded. "Kinda like a Time Squarish vibe."

"Exactly!" Jordan smiled.

"I don't know... isn't it crowded?" Rocky asked.

"Of course, but that's the beauty of riding the dart. Get there an hour or two before midnight, find a good spot to see the fireworks, then ride the dart home. No traffic! And everywhere you go is going to be crowded. At least this is outdoor!" Jordan explained.

"Ok. Let's pregame at my house. Food, alcohol and Ryan Seacrest?" Rocky suggested.

"I'm down. Who's invited?" I asked.

"Open door." Rocky shot me a look. "Is that ok?"

"Sure. Not a problem for me." I nodded.

Jordan had to get back to work, but I hung out with Rocky after we ate.

"Why didn't you tell me you and Ethan made up?" She asked.

"It wasn't a big deal. We just cleared the air..." I said.

"I didn't know that... I was still giving him the cold shoulder over the holidays. I even made fun of his cuff links until I found out you gave them to him." Rocky admitted.

I grinned. "The snowflake ones?"

"Yes."

"I forgave him. I don't hate him. I figured it's good if we can be cordial, maybe friends. Please invite him."

"That's not who I was referring to. I'm talking about Jake. I see your face when he's brought up. I see his face when you're brought up. I wanna bring in the New Year drama free. THOT free if I don't need to invite Jake."

"What about Brandon?"

"Brandon agrees." Rocky assured me.

I took a deep breath. "Invite him, and Alexis. I really want to move forward. I won't drink too much and I promise if there is any drama, Trevor and I will leave." I told her.

"Ok... even though I was really hoping I wouldn't have to invite Alexis." Rocky sighed.

"How thot-less of you." I grinned.

We got up to leave.

"But on a serious note, make sure you're really over Jake before starting anything with Trevor." Rocky lectured me as we walked to our cars. "You could really ruin a good friendship if you're not careful."

"I know." I nodded. "One of the main reasons we're not rushing anything."

"Good." Rocky nodded too.