Thursday, December 18, 2014

TKO (Trevor's POV)

"Baby, everyday you're training to get the gold
That's why your body's crazy
But you can't run from yourself, that's where it's difficult
Girl I can see in your eyes that there's
Something inside that made you evil
Where did you go?
'Cause it just ain't fair
Over here thinking 'bout the shit you say
Don't know why it gets to me
It cuts right on my eye, yeah it hurt, won't lie
Still can't see, think I saw you with another guy
Fair fight, knocked down, then I got over you
Can't fight no more, you knock me out, what am I supposed to do?" TKO by Justin Timberlake 

Trevor's point of view of the b-day party.

"I don't get it! You wanna freelance! Even if Kenji sells, you'll have connections in Austin." Cat said, talking over the house music, gesturing with her hands like she always does when she's excited.

"I didn't invite you to discuss my career." I told her, as I handed her a drink to give her something to do with her hands. The waitress just delivered the bottles of Grey Goose and Bacardi at the club in the hotel.

She took a big gulp of her drink. "I just don't understand what's holding you back!"

I looked over to the table Lily was sitting at. Lily was sandwiched between Amber and Rocky, talking animatedly to the whole table. She had a wide smile on her face as she talked. She looked beautiful. I always joked with her about not needing make-up; truthfully, she didn't, but I always applauded her efforts. Especially tonight, she looked flawless.

I didn't even remember complimenting her on how she looked. I was that blown away. I spent my time in the presidential suite making sure she was having a good time when I wasn't staring at her.

Cam caught me gawking at her numerous times, but he was going to have to get over it. If things went the way I wanted, he would have to get used to it...

"I have a guess." Bilal answered Cat's question, nodding over at Lily.

I grinned. "I'll be right back." I said, standing up. I made my way over to the other table.

"Put that on the list of things I don't need to know about my sister..." Cam said under his breath while everyone else laughed.

"What don't you wanna know?" I asked, sitting down with them.

"My sexual deviancy." Lily said, plainly.

"Ok... subject change." I said, trying not to think of her sexually at all.

As a dude, it always registered to me how sexy she is. In college, she was my best friend. I put her in the no-go category, despite my penis' objections. When she told me she didn't have feelings for me besides brotherly, that was enough to keep my penis in check. I had my slip ups, but for the most part, I ignored my most basic instincts of wanting to see her naked.

Since she told me her feelings were more than just friendly, that rule went out the window.  Just thinking about the way she rubbed against me when she thought I was sleeping was enough to give me a boner. It was hard, pun intended. The thought of having a real relationship with her is what kept me at bay. I wanted her, but not just physically. I was willing to settle for holding her until I could have it all.

That didn't mean I could handle any encouragement from her about her sexual deviancy. She was already the star in all of my nightly fantasy. Yes, every night I tested her deviancy in my head. She always passed. Or failed, depending on how you look at it...

 I made a remark on how everyone separated themselves to get my mind out the gutter. I watched how Lily's demeanor completely changed. Her joking was no longer light-hearted and friendly. It was bitter. I looked at her empty glass.

"How much have you had to drink Lily?" I asked, after her white supremacist joke. I ignored it cause I knew she knew better.

When she made plans to go to the bar, I tried to get her to stay at the table. At least that way I could monitor how much she was drinking. She was already was mixing liquors and drinking on an empty stomach: two rookie mistakes. She knew better than that too.

I was going to follow her, but Sammy stopped me. "I got her, hang out with your friends." She said it in a way that gave me no choice but to agree.

I nodded and let them go. I hung out with my friends and co-workers. We opened the champagne and were having a great time drinking and joking around.

I ignored Amelia when she stood beside me with Cat. I knew it was a bad idea when I hooked up with her, but this was back when I let my penis do the thinking. I was spending my weekends in Austin, trying to get over Lily. I helped out Cat with a website she was designing for her boyfriend, Kenji. His fans and fan website kept him in Japan for extended periods of time and she wanted to bring the website and him back to America.

At the time, the website was something to do to keep me occupied; Much like Amelia. Amelia was fire wrapped in a tiny, blonde package. She was very much the rock star persona she portrayed on stage. She was so different from Lily that she kept my mind off her. I needed that when Lily started to distance herself from me.

 After a night of hard partying, I woke up feeling like crap and decided I didn't wanna continue that way. Maybe I couldn't be with Lily, but I didn't wanna be that guy anymore, so I started spending my time back in Dallas.

By then, Kenji and his friends loved the website. What started out as a way to get over Lily was now an amazing opportunity: an opportunity with lousy timing. I finally got Lily considering a relationship with me. I couldn't lose out on that. That's why I didn't tell her about the job. I couldn't give her a reason not to give us a chance. If the leave of absence request came through, it wouldn't be a problem. I could have both: Lily and the job. I didn't need anything messing that up. Namely, Amelia.

Unfortunately, Amelia was Cat's roommate. Another bad decision by my penis. The funny thing is, when we stopped hooking up, she didn't care. Her interest was piqued when Lily came down for dinner with us before Thanksgiving. She kept asking me who she was. I told her the truth: my friend. She didn't seem convinced. It probably didn't help matters by showing her how pissed I was when she sang that stupid song to me.

The first time we hooked up was after I saw her perform. Cat dragged me out to her show. The last song of the night was "Fuck the Pain Away" by Peaches. Classy, but it was exactly what I needed. Her singing a love song to me was stupid. What we did was nowhere close to love. She was just trying to push my buttons. I saw now that she got off on that. I didn't want her games to impact my job or my relationship.

"What do you want Amelia?" I asked her, when Cat went to the dance floor.

"I can't talk to my friend?" She asked.

"We're not friends." I told her, bluntly.

"Fuck buddies?" Her icy blue eyes flashing with mischief.

"Not even that anymore." I reminded her.

"Does princess know we were?" She asked.

"Princess?" I asked, uninterested.

She pointed to the dance floor. I looked to see Lily grinding on some dude.

"Just asking cause I think we all can be friends. She obviously has great taste in guys." Amelia smirked, before slithering back where she came from.

I watched Lily a while longer as she wrapped her arms around the guy and talked and laughed with him. When Rocky and Brandon pulled her away, I made my way to the dance floor too.

I headed straight for her. I held her in my arms, making sure she was ok and not drinking too much. At the same time, I tried to re-establish the connection between us. Sometimes, there was no doubt in my mind she felt it between us. Like earlier, when I put my arm around her after I first saw her. When she looked into my eyes and told me I was amazing, I felt it. I knew she did too, that's why she was blushing. I felt it ever since she came back, even when she was with Jake. Maybe faint, but it was still there. I was feeling it then, until she pulled away.

I wasn't surprised when she said she was lightheaded. I sent her to the table while I got her some food and water. I was surprised when I came back and saw her drinking, again, with the same dude. I knew something was up when she glared at me while chugging the champagne after I suggested she should slow down. I didn't realize she was mad at me until she stood up and told me she didn't want to talk to me. I followed her, hoping to find out why she was mad. When she blew up, I let it go. I figured we would talk it out later.

We went up to the suite and played games. Lily was blurting out all the obvious dirty answers to the game.

"When I go in, I can produce pain. I cause you to spit, and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole." Bilal read the card.

"Dick!" Lily blurted out.

"No. A dentist." Bilal laughed. "It's never going to be dick. It's not the dirty answer." He explained to her, again.

She nodded and smiled. She was quiet on the card I read. Amelia went next and Lily talked to Sammy the entire time.

"I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good." Cat read.

"Cock!" Lily answered, while everyone laughed at her.

"No Lily. Shut up." Amber nudged her.

"Nose!" Rachel answered.

"How did you get that?" Cat asked, surprised.

"There it was. Six inches of pure delight beckoning me to take it in my mouth. I ran my tongue around it and its sweet nuts, but the longer I sucked on it, the smaller it got! What am I?" Forrest read, laughing the entire time.

"Penis! Penis! Penis!!!" Lily laughed too.

"No!" Forrest shook his head at her. No one got it, so Forrest read. "Chocolate bar."

"Close enough, right Rocky?!? Rachel?" Lily asked.

"Lily!" Rachel gasped, embarrassed.

 Lily laughed.

"Maybe a jumbo sized chocolate bar!" Brandon exclaimed.

"Rocky calls it fun sized." Lily smiled. Even I couldn't help laughing at that.

"Goodnight everyone!" Rocky stood up, pulling Brandon up to leave. Lily laughed and got up with them.

We had decided to put that game away when a box came flying over my head. I looked up, surprised. When I saw Lily grinning maliciously at me, I knew the night was not going to end well. I had no idea what she wanted from me. I asked what was wrong, she flipped out. I left her alone, she threw stuff at me. I was at a loss: what was I supposed to do?

I went with my third option; If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I started drinking and let her do what she wanted. We would talk tomorrow, after her hangover.

"Have you ever had a hook up with someone you regret?" The first card read.

Everyone drank on that one. I looked at Amelia and took another shot. She glared at me and I laughed.

"Have you ever talked dirty during a prank phone call?"

"Have you ever spied on someone who was changing clothes?"

"Have you ever filmed a homemade porn movie?" 

Amelia smirked at me on that one and took a shot. I quickly took one too.

"I'm fucking done with this game!" Lily declared, standing up.

"Why? Sobering up over there?" Gabriel asked her.

"Exactly! I haven't done any of this shit! Fucking perverts." She yelled at us, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Fine. Let's stop." I said, relieved.

"No, just drink for me." Blake offered. She grinned and squeezed in between Gabriel and Blake on the couch.

"Have you ever shared nude pictures of yourself on the internet?"

Blake laughed at Lily. "C'mon! Everyone has done it."

"Have not." Lily replied.

"Snapchat?" Gabriel asked her.

"That's not the internet." Lily laughed.

"Close enough." Gabriel commented. She giggled and drank.

"Have you ever imitated a scene in an adult film?"

I drank, watching as Blake nudged Lily, signaling her to drink for him. She drank, then grabbed the card from Ian.

"I wanna try this one. Gabriel, any acting experience?" Lily asked Gabriel, while staring straight at me. I felt my face heat up and it had nothing to do with the shots.

Gabriel just shook his head. Lily began to pick out cards the cards that she wanted to try with Gabriel. Every single one she made sure to make eye contact with me before asking Gabriel. I kept drinking to ignore her.

"Have you ever given a lapdance?"

 She then decided to act out that card with Gabriel. Thankfully, Sammy stopped her. Any buzz I had from drinking was gone. Unfortunately, she wasn't done. She sang "I Don't Fuck with You" to Amelia. I could tell by Amelia smug face she said something to Lily. I tried repeatedly to get her to stop, but it just egged her on. When she told me she didn't fuck with me, I just stared at her.

"I will never fuck with you because-" She stopped and I swear she turned green. I stood up right before she started regurgitating. She had nothing to eat besides gummy bears, so I knew this would be bad. I rushed her to the bathroom. We made it just before she started praying to the porcelain gods. I pulled her hair away and stroked her back.

It would have been funny if I didn't know it was Amelia who got her to this point. Everything Lily did tonight was targeted towards me. I didn't get that. After everything I told her and had done for her, she still couldn't trust or at least talk to me. I thought getting her to admit her feelings was all we needed. I was starting to realize love wouldn't be enough for us.

Sammy came into the bathroom, Amber on her heels.

"Is she ok?" Amber asked.

"She will be." I answered, watching as she shuddered and moaned.

"People are starting to leave. Go say bye. We got this." Sammy instructed me.

One by one people filtered out. Mostly everyone was laughing, saying what a great time they had. I gave Bilal the key to Lily's room. The plan was me and Lily in a bedroom, Bilal and Noorie in the second one. I had no idea what condition Lily would be in, but they had to get back on the road the next day. I wasn't going to subject them to it.

"Hang in there man..." Bilal told me as they left. I nodded but didn't say anything.

I went into the bedroom and grabbed her a pair of my boxers and a wife beater. I took it to Sammy and Amber.

5 minutes later, Amber came out.

"I gotta call Will and tell him I'm not coming home. She's a mess." Amber said, shaking her head.

"I can drive you home." Corey offered.

"No, it's ok." Amber said.

I heard loud thumping from the bathroom, so I went and checked on them. I knocked on the door.

"Come in." Sammy answered. I opened the door and saw Lily was in the huge bathtub.

"T-REV!!! Let's have a bathtub party!" She exclaimed.

"No." Sammy said, exasperated.

"Sure Lily." I answered.

Lily smiled at Sammy. "See, he gives me whatever I want. That's the least he can do..." Lily said, giving me a pleased smile.

"Right." I sighed. "Why don't you lie down while I get it ready? Get some rest"

She nodded and I led her to the bedroom. I went back out to the living room. I informed Gigi, Amber, Corey and Sammy that she was in bed. Amber and Gigi went to the second room. Corey asked Sammy if she was ready to go to their room.

"I'll meet you there." Sammy responded. After Corey left, she came and sat next to me on the couch.

"So what did you do to set her off?" Sammy asked me.

"Amelia." I said, simply. When Amelia left, she gave me a coy smile. I knew she was behind this, but I was to blame. I should have warned Lily, but she should have come to me too.

"Fucked her recently?"

"No, but Lily doesn't know that."

I never had the 'who have you been with' conversation with a girl. I didn't care as long as she was with me now. It never crossed my mind that I should have told Lily that Amelia and I had a past. I really wanted to forget it.

"Can I give you some advice?" Sammy said.

"I'll take whatever you got." I sighed, turning to her.

"So she fucked Ethan after she found out about us. Dated Jake after you and Becca made it official... See a pattern?" Sammy asked.

"Ok... but I told her I wanted to be with her. I spend any and all of my free time with her. I don't know what else to do to prove I wanna be with her." I admitted, frustrated.

"That's part of the problem. She's packaged all her feelings for you and labeled it as friendship. She doesn't have to worry about being hurt again, because you're just her friend. You give her everything she wants and she doesn't have to be in a relationship with you. It's the perfect set up for her. Why would she want it to change?" Sammy said.

I sat and thought about it. That's how Sammy left me: Thinking about what I should do.

6 comments:

  1. Sammy actually had something beneficial to say! Who knew?
    What a mess...

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  2. My first thought was... Oh no. I shoulda known Sammy was behind this! lol

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  3. I don't think what Sammy said is necessarily true. Maybe seeing Trevor with Sammy helped her realize she needed to move on and that's why she got together with Ethan. But her statement makes it seem like what she had with Ethan & Jake wasn't real or like she didn't have feelings for them and I don't think that's true. I think what she has with Jake was real there was more than just sex, they had some really good talks.
    I feel like Trevor is not taking any responsibility for his part in making Lily mad. I thought lily was mad because he didn't tell her about his move to Austin, I think that was the bigger issue. But whatever Trevor! Whatever helps you sleep at night.
    Luita

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    1. Lily was mad because he didn't tell her about his move to Austin. But at this point in the story, Trevor doesn't know that. He is only assuming she is mad because of something Amelia said and therefore assumes it is because of their past history together. He doesn't find out until the next morning that she is pissed about the move to Austin.

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  4. he wasn't just "moving" to Austin, he planned on being there a couple days a week, he also didn't want her to make her mind up because of that either. When he first started the website it was just a hobby to distract him from her. I don't think it's this underlying thing that others say about him not telling her. Plus she has been pretty self absorbed lately but she is working on herself. Just because she had a couple (can't think of many ) good talks with Jake doesn't mean it was love though. And Ethan was mostly physical, she wanted to feel lusted after

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    1. But lily didn't know he wasn't just going to move to Austin, because he didn't tell her anything! A lie is a lie is a lie even if he had a good reason for it. And then he's mad because Lily took Amelia's word for it? If he had told her before hand she would've never been caught off guard and gotten so mad at him and so wasted..... Just saying. There's no excuse for Lily not knowing how to communicate her feelings, but it seems like Trevor has things to learn also. No one is perfect, but I think everyone needs to own up to their mistakes and he didn't when he had that talk to Lily later on.
      Luita

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